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Guest Post: I Was Wrong About Everything

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Submitted by Charles Hugh Smith from Of Two Minds

I Was Wrong About Everything

I was wrong: doing more of the same has solved all our problems.

Time for a mea maxima culpa: I've been wrong about everything: the stock market, the economy, globalization, energy, everything. Heck, I've even been wrong about the American diet and poor fitness; it's now clear that ice cream sundaes are health food that have been shown to extend life dramatically. Fast food is nutritious and cheap, a great combination, and there is basically nothing in the mind-body that can't be fixed in a jiffy with a handful of pills, all of which are almost free once you qualify for government healthcare programs.

The economy has not just dodged recession, it's in full-blown recovery. The only two indicators that are going down are the VIX volatility index, which might just fall to near-zero as investors realize there's no longer any downside in the market and therefore no need to buy hedges, and the unemployment rate, which is steadily declining.

2012 is like 1956, 1964, 1984 and 1996: the economy is booming, and a sitting president has wisely overseen the application of brilliant policies by the Pentagon, State and Treasury departments and the Federal Reserve. The policies were simple: when "more of the same" didn't work, do even more of the same. That did the trick in everything from waging war to finding new energy sources to stabilizing the financial and housing markets.

This quote from President Calvin Coolidge neatly sums up 2012: If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you. All we as a nation had to do to get through the rough patch of 2007-2011 was just do more of what we were doing before. And voila, all our troubles ran into the ditch. We have abundant energy, expanding opportunity, a growing economy, limitless credit and enjoy the highest possible levels of political liberty and human freedom.

And it's now obvious that this renewed prosperity will easily last to 2022 and beyond. The only question for the coming decade is how much better everything will be for everyone in 2022. As we all know, expanding opportunity and prosperity enable everyone to solve whatever problems arise in their lives.

Who remembers the critics and naysayers of 1956, 1964, 1984 and 1996? Nobody. In times of stable, permanent prosperity like 2012, the only problems left are of the trivial sort, such as American policy via a vis Botswana or which reality TV show is better. Since all the critically important policies and institutions are working smoothly, then we are free to pursue our own interests and desires without having to concern ourselves with larger issues.

Since our institutions are all functioning efficiently and transparently, and permanent prosperity, global stability and a rising market have returned in force, then there's really nothing left for me to do here. As the markets have demonstrated, virtually every asset class can now rise together: precious metals are in a long uptrend, real estate has bottomed and is now in recovery mode, stocks and bonds are both rising. Now that historical inverse correlations have been decisively broken, then everything can go up together: commodities, currencies, real estate, stocks, bonds, 'roo bellies, you name it.

The return of stable, permanent prosperity generated by visibly successful policies and institutions leaves me a choice: I can wallow in negativity as a bitter naysayer, or I can showcase photos of adorable puppies and kittens.

Since all our big problems have been resolved by simply doing more of the same, then there is nothing of importance left to analyze or discuss. All remaining issues are inconsequential, the equivalent of debating which is better, Bud or Bud Lite. Since I value my happiness above all else, I am opting out of naysaying and going with the photos of adorable puppies and kittens.

I considered finding some technology to fawn over, i.e. Windows 8 or 9 or 13 or whatever is being released next, or futurist nanotechnology robots that chew through clogged arteries or the iPad 3 or something like that, but there are already millions of sites fawning over technology. On the other hand, there can never be enough sites showcasing photos of adorable puppies and kittens.

So stay tuned; I'll have you murmuring "awww, so cute!" in no time.

 


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Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:32 | Link to Comment kato
kato's picture

become the George Costanza world.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:35 | Link to Comment economics1996
economics1996's picture

I use to think like that when I was high on microdot.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:39 | Link to Comment economics1996
economics1996's picture

Do dealers still sell microdot?  I need a stash.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:42 | Link to Comment WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

MDB must be CHS's alter ego.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:46 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

The end of fiat has begun in earnest:

http://www.debka.com/article/21673/

India to pay gold instead of dollars for Iranian oil. Oil and gold markets stunned
DEBKAfile Exclusive Report January 23, 2012, 5:57 PM (GMT+02:00)
Tags: India China sanctions Iranian oil European Union Iranian oil for India

India is the first buyer of Iranian oil to agree to pay for its purchases in gold instead of the US dollar, debkafile's intelligence and Iranian sources report exclusively. Those sources expect China to follow suit. India and China take about one million barrels per day, or 40 percent of Iran's total exports of 2.5 million bpd. Both are superpowers in terms of gold assets.

By trading in gold, New Delhi and Beijing enable Tehran to bypass the upcoming freeze on its central bank's assets and the oil embargo which the European Union's foreign ministers agreed to impose Monday, Jan. 23. The EU currently buys around 20 percent of Iran's oil exports.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:51 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Just the casus belli du jour. (as if we need anymore)

Has Kashmir been stirred up lately?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:13 | Link to Comment ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

When I read the title of the post I thought it was gonna be by RoboTrader. 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:50 | Link to Comment Jena
Jena's picture

I thought MDB.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:26 | Link to Comment andybev01
andybev01's picture

I thought that if he blew any more smoke up there I'd catch fire.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:12 | Link to Comment atomicwasted
atomicwasted's picture

Would be nice if true, but Debka has less credibility than the Weekly World News. 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:13 | Link to Comment Randall Cabot
Mon, 01/23/2012 - 22:30 | Link to Comment merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

ZH reports oil will be bought with rupees, NOT gold.  Big difference.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 23:42 | Link to Comment Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

Good eye.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:18 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Ahmeexnal, thanks for the news flash, a big fat  + 1 to you.

IMO, that is REALLY STUPID of India and China to use their gold to pay for oil.  Were it me in that situation, I would pay in whatever fiat I could for as long as possible.  If they want to barter (to avoid the sanctions), pick something else (iPads?).  Or is it that India produces nothing that Iran would want...?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:28 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Hmmmm....Maybe it's paper GLD.
I'd like to see the Ayatollahs trying to redeem their paper gold for the real thing.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:25 | Link to Comment DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

At least this way the US will not have to invade nuclear India and China to get their gold (along with iran's oil).

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:16 | Link to Comment Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

"Or is it that India produces nothing that Iran would want...?"

India produces call centers...

For Iranian oil, India can handle Ahmadinejad's complaint lines...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:50 | Link to Comment Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

This is epic.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:47 | Link to Comment grid-b-gone
grid-b-gone's picture

This is a brilliant strategy. Not only does it bypass the short-term freeze, but as mentioned, it really kicks the fiat currencies when they are down.

If other oil-exporting states adopt this policy, the world would be on a de facto gold standard in short order.

Long term, it has the potential to drain the most industrialized countries of wealth because oil exporters are trading something with lasting value for oil that the west will almost immediately consume. 

The more they trade oil for gold, the weaker the U.S. will become. The more they trade oil for gold, the more valuable their gold stash will become.

As this progresses, imagine the shift in mideast policy that could evolve. Any country that does not have gold or oil would see a major loss of international status.

Partnering with India and China also lowers the chance that the U.S. would eventually just take oil by force.  

This sort of move was  one reason Carter added the Department of Energy. The vision of long-term energy independence was eroded after 1980 and replaced once again by short-term thinking. This was great for Texans who had friends in oil and wanted to be president, but not very beneficial for long-term U.S. interests.

Banks, oil, and auto interests have done very well in recent decades, but they have left us seriously unprepared for a gold-for-oil world economy. 

At least we still have the water trump card. Let's hope we don't piss that away, too, as we frack and drill with abandon as oil dependent hostages. 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:47 | Link to Comment SamuelMaverick
SamuelMaverick's picture

If this is true, then this is unbelievably vitally important financial macro news.  This could potentially have a significant impact on the status of the US Dollar as the reserve currency.  Lets see how this plays out.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:19 | Link to Comment i-dog
i-dog's picture

No chance any CB would part with their gold stash for oil.

FYI, if Iran were to obtain gold for their oil, they could increase their gold stash by 1,700 tonnes/year, while their present reported stash is just 170 tonnes (give or take an oz).

Just more sensationalist nonsense from all sides to keep the sheeple confused and chattering.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 22:22 | Link to Comment merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Exactly.  This report is total BS.  No country in the world has enough gold to use it to buy their oil.

Simple math: the US reportedly has 8000 tons of gold, I'll assume they're metric tons...

8000 tons x 1000 kilograms x 32 troy ounces x US$1700 = $435.2 billion... divided by about US$100 per barrel, equals a purchasing power of about 4.352 billion barrels of oil.

Well, since the US consumed a shade under 7 billion barrels of oil in each of 2009 and 2010, that means that even the most gold-rich country in the world wouldn't be able to buy a year's worth of oil for ALL of their gold.  http://www.eia.gov/tools/faqs/faq.cfm?id=33&t=6

In 2009, China consumed nearly 3 billion barrels of oil and India consumed slightly over one billion barrels.  Together they would've needed the entirety of the US' gold reserves to buy one year of oil.  http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/ene_oil_con-energy-oil-consumption

Though I do much appreciate the tangential reading provided here by commenters, let's think a bit, folks, instead of swallowing every discredible, piece of shit article that gets thrown in our faces.

 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 02:02 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

You obviously have never read the original posts by ANOTHER.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 01:37 | Link to Comment merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

I suppose you are correct.  What have I missed?  Are you referring to a ZH commenter?

 

After a web search, I hope you're not referring to something called AnOther, an internet fashion magazine, because I just don't think I need Tom Ford's advice about how to be a modern gentleman.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 11:29 | Link to Comment Think for yourself
Think for yourself's picture

they wouldn't buy oil for gold... until the re-evaluation of gold, maybe?

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 01:58 | Link to Comment merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

I've asked the same thing, but might not the 're-evaluation' of gold also accompany a similar change in oil price?  Seems like oil has been nearly tracking gold since 1970.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 04:25 | Link to Comment boattrash
boattrash's picture

Do prices really matter to CB's, when they run the printing presses, they can just buy it back?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 22:38 | Link to Comment Captain Kink
Captain Kink's picture

if both India and China do so, that's 100 million USD worth of oil per day...  that's 60,000 +/- ounces a day, 3700 pounds or almost 2 tons of gold  PER DAY.. Sounds like a bit much. even just logistically.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 04:19 | Link to Comment boattrash
boattrash's picture

Ahmeexnal, Very interesting. Brings to mind a good reason for TPTB to work on some type of controls on gold huh, what with side-stepping sanctions and such shit?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:42 | Link to Comment HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Somebody doesn't know about the /sarc tag....

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:43 | Link to Comment francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

MDB cornered the market

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:45 | Link to Comment TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I'm all set to weather the storm with my 0.99 cent per day, no benefits, english speaking Indian virtual adminstrative assistant.

Brickwork India
Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:48 | Link to Comment RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

.99 cents per day? You're getting robbed!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:46 | Link to Comment Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Drugs are bad mmmmkay. Too many acids make your head swell up like a pumpkin.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:47 | Link to Comment economics1996
economics1996's picture

Well, isn't that the objective?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:53 | Link to Comment Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

so that's what happened to Newt

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:03 | Link to Comment Lone Deranger
Lone Deranger's picture

Nope.  No more microdot, orange sunshine, window pane, or sugar cubes.  It's all on paper now!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:29 | Link to Comment Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

The liquid is out there. Move in different circles. Gels and cubes nom nom nom.

But with sheets going for under $500, maybe it's not worth the hassle of the hunt.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:11 | Link to Comment peekcrackers
peekcrackers's picture

economics 1996

You are showing your age.!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:04 | Link to Comment mendolover
mendolover's picture

Yes microdot bitchez!!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:42 | Link to Comment kato
kato's picture

'He [George] had success in "The Opposite", in which Jerry advises him to do the opposite of what his instincts tell him to do, which results in him getting a girlfriend and a job with the New York Yankees.'

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:31 | Link to Comment A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Gold, Bitchez!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:33 | Link to Comment GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Apology accepted. Now, how does crashing WTI happen again?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:35 | Link to Comment LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Right, well something is in the ditch anyway.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:03 | Link to Comment A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

You'd think Ted Kennedy was driving.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:20 | Link to Comment Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Why?

Did the economy let Mary Joe Kopechne drown while swimming to safety in cowardly fashion??

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 22:39 | Link to Comment SPADOC4
SPADOC4's picture

Eraserhead...one weird movie, eh?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

.. now all we need to do is to put our feet up high, and think about what we'll do with the Trillion dollar budget surpluses in the coming years .. tbc.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment youngman
youngman's picture

What ARE you drinking....I  want some...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment niktamere
niktamere's picture

Buy the pickle. For the pickles. -WB7

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment Dcheeth2
Dcheeth2's picture

Had a phone call from Corzine, have we?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:35 | Link to Comment sbenard
sbenard's picture

Feel his forehead someone! Quick!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment Johnny Yuma
Johnny Yuma's picture

Brilliant!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

By 2022, the Internet will be nothing but cute cat videos.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:39 | Link to Comment niktamere
niktamere's picture

My coke rails have never been tigther, thanks Birinyi's ruler!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:45 | Link to Comment Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

By 2022, ZH will be the very last trouble, no. 10, desperately zig-zagging on the street while searching for the ditch.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Silver Dreamer
Silver Dreamer's picture

By 2022, ZH will be shut down by the FBI.  Many of us will be in "indefinite detention" too.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:47 | Link to Comment Jason_1sandal
Jason_1sandal's picture

Yep and they better be pictures of your own kittens. Wouldn't want to infringe on somebody's copyright photos of kittens....

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:03 | Link to Comment Jena
Jena's picture

Unless you're Banksy...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment Financial Cold ...
Financial Cold Fusion's picture

My tea leaves tell me that there might just be a hint of sarcasm hidden somewhere in that commentary.  See if you can spot where...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Americans only understand physical humor: like when someone gets kicked in the balls. Now THAT is funny.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:51 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

only if he has a spare pair!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:53 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Yeah, then you can kick him twice.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:41 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

now thats not cricket, but leg before wicket, its so wicked I have to laff out loud!!!

)))

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:26 | Link to Comment zerotohero
zerotohero's picture

Bring on Benny Hill.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:44 | Link to Comment kito
kito's picture

LMAO!!!!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:12 | Link to Comment mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

Idiocracy, Bitchez!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:25 | Link to Comment Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

That is why all PhD economists (from the right schools) and politicians have numb nutz...

They can take that kick in the mosquito balls...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:02 | Link to Comment Blank Reg
Blank Reg's picture

No... sorry, I don't see the sarcasim. But then again, I'm new here. It looks just like my main news source, CNBS.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:38 | Link to Comment redpill
redpill's picture

You were also wrong about being able to snap your fingers and make the price of oil $25.  No I'm not quite ready to let that one go yet :)

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:38 | Link to Comment non_anon
non_anon's picture

it takes a man to admit he's wrong, unlike Obummer

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:40 | Link to Comment economics1996
economics1996's picture

Oh shit I though you said "under Obummer" aka "the receiver."  Gag reflex kicked in.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:24 | Link to Comment GeorgeHayduke
GeorgeHayduke's picture

Not to defend the Great Changer who gave us Bush the Lesser's 3rd term, but can you name the last president that might have even hinted that he was wrong about anything?

Bush the Lesser through 8 years? Nope, but he gave us not 1 but 2 stupid-assed wars that have cost trillions let alone how many lives they ruined and ended, while his followers and defenders essentially blamed 911 on Clinton. This idiot was possibly the most smug moron to ever sit in the White House

That brings us to Clinton, the great "it depends on what your definition of is, is" BS artist from Arkansas. Spin turned into an art form with this joker in the House.

How about Bush I? Never made a mistake in his life that he would admit in public. (after all, he and his buddies might have gotten away with eliminating JFK)

Reagan? You can't even say Reagan ever made a mistake at anytime in his life or the Disciples of Reagan Conservatism will haunt you forever and see about having you ostracized, deported or hung in public. The Reagan years were kind of the beginning of the fascist-corp spin machine takeover of everything. Old Ronnie mesmerized the duller serfs and got them to willingly lay down before their corporate masters.

So....According to your criteria, we haven't had any real men as president for the past generation. I can buy that. It helps explain why we are here, and helps to understand where we're going.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:45 | Link to Comment Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

+10 Ha ha. Perfect quote

"I bought Polaroid at $7. It's probably up millions by now."

Or down 7.

 

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:56 | Link to Comment niktamere
niktamere's picture

that was beautiful

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:28 | Link to Comment Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

The "old Woody Allen" was, and still is hilarious.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:38 | Link to Comment Archduke
Archduke's picture

try bio hacking. glow-in-the-dark-kittens?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

Gosh Tyler, thanks! Now I can quit worrying! What time is "American Idol" on again?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Reanimate Calvin Coolidge 2012!!
Hey we've tried Live presidents. How bad coulda dead one be?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:30 | Link to Comment i-dog
i-dog's picture

Scene: Oval office ... State of the Union speech ... dead president staring blankly at the camera. Cut.

Perfect!!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

December 21, 2012 ZH party?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:40 | Link to Comment The Disappointed
The Disappointed's picture

So where are the pics of kittens & puppies?! More broken promises. He's just like all the rest.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:16 | Link to Comment mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

I've been waiting years for the appropriate time to recommend this video!

 

ENJOY!  EVERYBODY!!!  Whoooo Hooooooooooo!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82062665/

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:41 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

April fools. We are going to have so much fucking fun it will take a plastic surgeon to wipe the smiles off our faces.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 22:58 | Link to Comment merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Thanks for this one; I always appreciate righteous laughs in the morning.  :-)

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:41 | Link to Comment NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

Completely empathize with this post...it seems that whether you are in la-la land via CNBC, Marketwatch or anyother fluffy business purveyor or peeling the onion back ala ZH, the result is the same, perhaps one day there will be that reckonning but in the meantime you can find yourself in the ditch listening to either camp...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:52 | Link to Comment ucsbcanuck
ucsbcanuck's picture

Paraphrasing Oscar Wilde - we're all in the ditch, but some of us are looking at the stars. Cash is king.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:43 | Link to Comment Dan Conway
Dan Conway's picture

Accepted.  Lower your expectations and "no problem mon"!  Just be happy watching that cute talking baby commercial during the football games.  By the way, the correct answer is Bud. 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:42 | Link to Comment Mudduckk
Mudduckk's picture

There you have it the last bear has now capitulated. Now all we need is confirmation from Rosie.

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:45 | Link to Comment Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

1) "guest post"

2) Definitions

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:36 | Link to Comment Rot-10
Rot-10's picture

Just freakin awesome!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:47 | Link to Comment Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Yup. When the fat lady sings... well you know...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:43 | Link to Comment Peter K
Peter K's picture

Apology accepted. Now back to Econ 101 at a "real" university and try to get it right this time around:)

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:58 | Link to Comment pakled
pakled's picture

Or "apology accepted" + (snapping sound)

 

/s

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:43 | Link to Comment BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

History is merely repeating itself...

Their is nothing new under the Sun.

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:46 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

Seinfeld and Kramer need to do a number on the WS shills; I'm sure they could make a come back just to do a number on the Nazi cdo-cds merchant, who madoffed their whole neighbourhood. With George in the role of unwitting banksta agent and Kramer as the zany fall guy bait to sell to the gullible sheeple. I am prepared to give all my scriptwriter rights to ZH, if they take me up on it. 

EFSF has nothing on my poker hand...I'm holding a 2 and a 3 unsuited. But can I bluff!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:18 | Link to Comment Instant Wealth
Instant Wealth's picture

... better than a 2-7 off suit, at least.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:44 | Link to Comment BULLSHITARTIST
BULLSHITARTIST's picture

Well Shit TD. What am I going to do with all the xanax, gold, silver, bullets, guns, freeze dried food & water I have in the basement??????????

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:00 | Link to Comment misnomer
misnomer's picture

trade for Twinkies??? 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:35 | Link to Comment i-dog
i-dog's picture

I would suggest taking it out in your canoe before your IP is traced.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:47 | Link to Comment Blindweb
Blindweb's picture

So I should keep stockpiling dollars like you told me to Charles Hugh Smith?

 

" As I have described many times, I expect oil to plummet to $25/barrel at some point in 2011-13 as the global economy implodes." Charles Hugh Smith

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:19 | Link to Comment mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

It's not 2013 yet.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:48 | Link to Comment rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Yeah nevermind what all this bs is doing to peoples minds.  I wake up everyday hoping there's an alien spaceship in my backyard so I can get the fuck away from this shithole.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:10 | Link to Comment mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

post GPS coords.  we'll see what we can do.

any friend of ZH is a friend of ours.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:48 | Link to Comment battle axe
battle axe's picture

And Isreal wiill not be hitting Iran in the next 3 months...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:50 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

When viewing the source in Netscape, the <sarc> flag is clearly visible....but he forgot to close it....

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:57 | Link to Comment Texas Ginslinger
Texas Ginslinger's picture

"Batter-coated french fries are a fresh vegetable, according to the Agriculture Department, which has a federal judge's ruling to back it up."  http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-06-15-fries_x.htm

"Lenders Granting New Credit Cards to Subprime Borrowers Again"  http://www.creditcards.org/article/lenders-granting-new-credit-cards-subprime-borrowers-again-.html

 

 

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:04 | Link to Comment maddogs
maddogs's picture

Taters will out last those pesky vegetables that need to be trashed quickly. Maybe we are supposed to give up the old idea that 'vegetables are good for us', as when oil goes up, vegetables will also.

Some how I still think this is about selling cheap carbo's instaed of expensive vegetables. hmmmm, long as the kids don't have to give their teacher a 'tater' instead of an apple no one will complain about their Veggies.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:53 | Link to Comment mikmid
mikmid's picture

Dear Hugh

I'm so glad you have found the error of your ways, my brother assures me that your new attitude is sound government and I too have been completely wrong about everything. Did you also know that the world was great when we were governed by the Clintons (I did not know until now that Hitlery's chief bottle washer position was a governing position) and that we should have Hitlery for Presidente. I'm going to sell my gold and buy QQQ to take advantage of the huge rally that His Highness Obummer has personally arranged for us. I hope Turbo Tim and Helicopter Ben will stick around and keep life running smoothly, how could we continue on our road to success without them. I'm sure indefinate detention, SOPA and PIPA are all very good things and all of that negative reporting on the internet was just hot air. In fact I bet it will be wonderful when Homeland Security is in charge of the internet and sites like this a sensored so that all of the articles you used to write and permenately removed from all databases and figuratively burned like in ferinheight 451.

Your Brother in the Ozone

MikMid

 

 

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:54 | Link to Comment monopoly
monopoly's picture

Now i feel better. For a while I thought I was the only one that knew it was all healed and that we are now onto the "new prosperous economy". I think Tyler needs to advise BAC that what they are doing is not needed. Another 38 Billion in cuts. But won't that kill more jobs?

Oh well, just a needle in a haysack. Buy burritos.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:54 | Link to Comment xamax
xamax's picture

Well, the guy probably missed all the stock recovery but at least he admits he was wrong. This proves it is never too late to change his opinion !  

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:55 | Link to Comment Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Hang in there Charles. Eventually reality will dawn.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:56 | Link to Comment adr
adr's picture

I can get a job just by thinking I can get a job, we'll be back to 1998 where a graduate had 15 job offers of $75k+ right out of college and had to decide on the BMW or Mercedes signing bonus. I remember those days in college during may when all the seniors came in to brag about their job offers. Then 2000 happened and I graduated. Out of 45 in my major, three got job offers, pitiful job offers. No BMW signing bonus, no massive stock options, no all expense paid lavish interview trips. I actually had to pay for my plane ticket for my interview with Lucent. They offered me $40k and I took it. Two weeks later my boss walks into the room and says, "Well guys, it's been a good run but I was just notified by management that Lucent is no longer making consumer products. We're all being liquidated and asked to pack our stuff by the end of the day." The moral of the story is, as much as RoboTrader doesn't want to believe, is a market based on bullshit like 1999, 2007, and now is not a reflection of reality. Sooner or later the dream ends and you wake up.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 14:57 | Link to Comment glokk26L
glokk26L's picture

Saw a bumper sticker idea earlier, I'd give credit if I could remember where.

Cthulu 2012.  Why vote for the lesser of two evils this time?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:00 | Link to Comment glokk26L
glokk26L's picture

I recall thinking like Charles is in this post, but I recall it involved some non prescribed items from an unlicensed pharmacist in a larger than prescribed dose.  Plus the world was extra shiny.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:06 | Link to Comment QuietCorday
QuietCorday's picture

Don't worry, Charles. If you close your eyes and wish really really hard, and click your heels together three times and say: "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home" ... you will be back with Auntie Em sooner than you think.

And not only that, Auntie Em will suddenly have a special glitter unicorn and pony farm, and be making millions selling magic rainbow sparkles to Ben Bernanke, and everyone will break out into song all the time and leap over tables.

And then you will realise you have left Oz and stumbled into another technicolour musical, because, Charles, this hyper-reality has *layers*.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:09 | Link to Comment sangell
sangell's picture

Captain Schettino has the proper method for handling a crisis. You first report your sinking ship as having only a minor 'technical problem' then you flee. If caught fleeing you lie and say you are returning to the ship only you had to shore. Once ashore you get in a taxi and try and hide. If found you say the charts were wrong. If accused of cowardice you claim to have been knocked into a lifeboat by the passengers you were valiantly trying to save. Schetting needs to be put in charge of the European, no, the global economy.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:12 | Link to Comment pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

That's not funny.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:21 | Link to Comment loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Chuck, put down the bong and back away...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:24 | Link to Comment zerotohero
zerotohero's picture

I have ductaped my rose coloured glasses on and await those darn cute puppies and kittens - hell beats being a downer all the time.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:25 | Link to Comment sitenine
sitenine's picture

The ultimate /sarc article! Thanks TD! LMFAO

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:41 | Link to Comment Amused2Death
Amused2Death's picture

Join the club, Charles...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:45 | Link to Comment marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

of course it's all good, it's so good in fact we are all even getting free low dose cancer fighting radiation treatments every time we step outside, thanks to Fukishima

it's like fluoride in the water, only better cause it fights cancer.

and the seafood from the gulf of mexico...I mean what more could you ask for?

hell, I can't walk down the street without tripping over desperate employers begging me to come and work for them, throwing jobs that pay gobs of money at me. you should see them all lined up holding sings, it's ridiculous.

and how about our public servants huh? the best and brightest America has to offer humbly pursuing a life of austerity and self sacrifice all for the honor and privileged of representing "we the people" in our nations capital. they give so much and yet ask so little in return, I tell you, to do so much and for such a small pittance, well, it just makes me very proud.

and those brave citizens who, everyday, keep the traveling public safe at our airports, railways and bus stations, man just watching them pat down my wife and my eight year old daughter, I just felt so safe knowing that there are such dedicated individuals (they were extremely thorough with the search), it was good to know there wouldn't be any turban wearing, right wing, anti government nut jobs getting on my airplane, no sir.

now if we could just do something about those damn Iranians...

yes life is good and the future is bright Mr Charles Hugh Smith, and I'm glad you finally came around to join the rest of us in realizing that.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:53 | Link to Comment kito
kito's picture

as i have stated before, charles is right. EVERYBODY IS HAPPY. EVERYBODY HAS BEEN DOING WELL!! commodities holders, stock holders, bond holders, 401kers, pensioners, ira-ers, the poor with section 8, snap and medicaid, the pentagon and its welfare recipients, the unemployed with unlimited weeks of benefits....WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND IS GOING TO MUCK IT UP BY VOTING FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO TAKE THIS PROGRESS AWAY FROM THEM?!?!?!?!? obamaromney 2012.......

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:57 | Link to Comment Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

"This quote from President Calvin Coolidge neatly sums up 2012: If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you."

Coolidge talked too much!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:12 | Link to Comment Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Nice tactical move!  In the future, you can say that you were wrong about being wrong and then, be back at your starting point....

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:33 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Here Charles, in your new optimism you might need this as a desktop background:

http://green.thefuntimesguide.com/images/blogs/unicorn-crapping-rainbow....

(/sarc off, thanks for the article)

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:37 | Link to Comment Barbarians_R_Us
Barbarians_R_Us's picture

"Das whatz I'z been sayin"   Pres. Sotero

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:40 | Link to Comment skepticCarl
skepticCarl's picture

Charles Hughes Smith deserves to publish a real mea culpa, instead of defending himself with this cute satire.  The crony-capitalist world has indeed muddled through, re-writing the rules on a daily basis, to keep the pretending and extending intact. 

The sovereign debt problems of the western world are well known, and are being discounted in the financial and commodities markets.  Fraction-reserve banking, central banks, old-boy networks have stood up to many crises over the past 400 years, and will probably adapt and withstand many more for the rest of our lifetimes.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 00:20 | Link to Comment SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

There's at least a %50 probability that this will be true; and Zero Hedge Mentality will be just another odd cult phenomenon studied by sociologists in 2020.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 16:44 | Link to Comment DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

You know, I even noticed that even the Perma Bear Donglicker has turned posotive for the short term.

Either Homeland Security has put somethiong special in the water for bloggers or things have truly gotten better.....nah....my favorite restaurant just went bankrupt this week, open since 1848.

Charles, you may be right. Obama could be the Coolidge of this era. However, if he stays too long, he'll then become Hoover. Good times are here until January 2013. Then whatever party takes power will never again have power.

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:17 | Link to Comment 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

CBs desperate for Gold:

 

More Sanctions on Iran Pushes Gold Prices to Six-Week High: GLD,SLV http://finance.yahoo.com/news/more-sanctions-iran-pushes-gold-201453385.... I was wrong about the barbaric metal. The yellow metal is much moe important then Bernank lead me to believe. CBs are as desperate for Gold...as desperate as countries are for oil. I may have to switch from being an Oil Bug to a Barbarian Bug!
Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:11 | Link to Comment Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Wall Street always seems to see the glass half full but then they do not actually live in the Real World.  With Millions in Bonuses they cannot understand what the average person sees, or is going thru,  as they are affluent and are not affected by the devastation Wall Street has created.

That is probably why so many Retail Traders lose Money.  They think that Stocks should go down because of their pain.  While Wall Street thinks the Market should go up because of their ability to create wealth for themselves.

The average Americans 401K was wiped out in 2008 but Wall Street was given a Bail Out so that they still could pay Billions in Bonuses.  So, Wall Street was buying a 2nd home in the Hampdons, the average Americans were losing their Homes on Main Street.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:14 | Link to Comment Ronstradamus
Ronstradamus's picture

RECOVERY SUMMER 3 BABY! IT'S ALMOST HERE!!!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:28 | Link to Comment Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Want a Laugh?  Really funny Cat cartoon by Simon.  These are really great.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VLcLH97eRw&ob=av3e

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 21:56 | Link to Comment Element
Element's picture

Look on the bright side Charles, you can now give yourself permission to be a wonton global criminal too ... wwweeeeeee!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 22:38 | Link to Comment SPADOC4
SPADOC4's picture

I generally like David Lynch movies, but "Eraserhead" was one wierd movie.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 22:47 | Link to Comment merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Ok, I get that this article is completely sarcastic.  But what's the point?  Really, I don't get it.

We're not informed of anything new, and I didn't find it humorous; was I supposed to?

Readers' comments have provided the only value (insight & laughs) in this post.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 05:22 | Link to Comment Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

YEEEEAH! Apple is sooo innovative, the economy is sooo fixed, all is good! It's jus me that needs more money :/

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!