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Guest Post: Meet The Man Bankrupting The Eurozone (And Maybe The Rest Of The World)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by James Miller from the Mises Institute of Canada

Meet the Man Bankrupting the Eurozone (and Maybe the Rest of the World)

No, it’s not Greece Prime Minister and bankster puppet Lucas Papadermos who serves his former masters at Goldman Sachs rather than the people of the country he was “appointed” to lead.  No, it’s not German Chancellor Angela Merkel who is putting the interests of the banks and bailout recipients above her fellow Germans at the risk of a continually devaluing euro.  And no, it’s not European Central Bank president Mario Draghi whose cheap euro policies are propping up both the banking sector and governments of the periphery at the expense of capital investment in sectors that would result in actual wealth creation rather than sustaining a clearly unsustainable status quo.

It’s the man pictured here:


Meet Ed Houben.  He is not solely responsible for the slow implosion of the poster boy of New World Order also known as the Eurozone, but the results of his career certainly play a part.  So who is Ed Houben? Well, he is not a politician buying votes with stolen funds.  Nor is he a banker looking to use taxpayers to cover his poor investments.  Mr. Houben is just a lowly entrepreneur.  His business just happens to be in putting a strain on the various welfare states which permeate throughout the Eurozone.

Ed Houben is a sperm donor; but he is not just any sperm donor.  The “fruits of his labor,” pardon the phrase, have thus far granted him 82 children; with at least 10 more on the way.  From Spiegel Online:

He already has three children in Berlin. The remaining 79 live in other cities and countries, including Belgium, Italy, the Netherlands, New Zealand and Spain. Houben has entered their names, dates of birth and genders into an Excel table at home. The oldest child is almost nine, while the youngest is only 2 months old.

Houben is a sperm donor. He gives women his sperm and, according to his estimates, he succeeds in giving them a child in 80 percent of cases. “That’s my success rate,” he says.

For an entrepreneur, Houben has proven to have quite the successful business model.  In his grand economic treatise Man, Economy, and State, economist Murray Rothbard defines as an entrepreneur as follows:

These are the men who invest in “capital” (land and/or capital goods) used in the productive process. . . . The capitalist-entrepreneur buys factors or factor services in the present; his product must be sold in the future. He is always on the alert, then, for discrepancies, for areas where he can earn more than the going rate of interest.

What gave rise to this realized profit, this ex post profit fulfilling the producer’s ex ante expectations? The fact that the factors of production in this process were underpriced and undercapitalized—underpriced in so far as their unit services were bought, undercapitalized in so far as the factors were bought as wholes. In either case, the general expectations of the market erred by underestimating the future rents (MVPs) of the factors. This particular entrepreneur saw better than his fellows, however, and acted on this insight. He reaped the reward of his superior foresight in the form of a profit.

What Mr. Houben has done is bypass the bureaucratic red tape which dominates many sperm banks within Europe. For example, German sperm banks often charge around $5,000 per treatment and require a comprehensive medical examination along with documenting the whole affair.  The procedure at a sperm bank goes like this:

The would-be mothers are heterosexual and preferably married, and their identity is not revealed to the donor. According to the guidelines, the donor is not older than 40, undergoes a thorough examination and has sperm that meets the “minimum requirements,” or 10 specific criteria. The “practical execution” is documented, and the document is kept on file for 30 years.  It normally takes about six months before the first attempt at pregnancy is made.

Houben takes advantage of these hurdles by providing “a solution for those who lack the time, money or opportunity to take the official route.”  Though not illegal, there is nothing to stop the women whom Houben impregnates from coming after him for child support should they renege on their initial agreement.  Houben saw these “discrepancies” in the market and has proposed a solution while bearing the risks that come along with such a career.

While in a market economy unperverted by the state, Houben’s occupation would be laudable.  Instead, the results of his career end up imposing a burden on his fellow Europeans.  Pia, a Vietnamese woman who has one child named Max through Houben and wishes to have another, has

to deal with the youth welfare office almost every day since Max’s birth. She receives unemployment, and the youth welfare office pays the child support that the father would normally pay. If it ever emerged that she had lied on her application, she would be required to repay the money, and charges could be brought against her for “benefit fraud.”

One general rule in economics follows that if something is subsidized, more of it will likely follow.  If unemployment compensation is indefinitely extended, claims will keep being made.  If you provide food stamps to the poor because, politically, the price of food remains too high, prices then remain elevated.  If student loans are provided via the government to help students with the high cost of tuition, the price of university admission is kept from falling.

Put simply, throwing money at a problem often ends up inducing little change.  The same applies to the dependency-creating welfare state.  As Rothbard notes in a Journal of Libertarian Studies article:

Being-on-welfare, like all other human economic acts, has a “supply function”: in other words, if you make welfare pay enough, you can produce as many welfare clients as you wish to have. Pay them little enough and you can reduce the number of clients at will. In short, if the government should announce that anyone who signs up at a “welfare” desk gets an automatic annual check of $40,000 for as long as he wishes, we will find soon enough that almost everyone has become a welfare recipient – and what is more, will join a “welfare rights” organization to lobby for $60,000 to offset the rise in the cost of living.

The welfare state, rather than being the product of political compassion, is really just a vote buying machine that is self-reinforcing and does little to help the poor.  It turns the beneficiaries into impoverished wards of the state by paying for lifestyles marked by high consumption, high time preferences, and sparse, if any, thought given to the future.

It isn’t referred to as the entitlement society for nothing.

It can be reasoned that much of Houben’s career as a sperm donor is subsidized in part by the various welfare state programs predominating around Europe.  Should any of Houben’s clients find themselves in the same position of living on the government dole like Pia, the tax hindrance on his fellow Eurozone inhabitants increases as another child is fed, clothed, and cared for with tax funds.  As more strain is put on the public purse by those feeling entitled to benefits promised by politicians merely seeking to win their next term in office, those governments in turn become more indebted and less able to pay out on empty assurances.  Western governments are bankrupt, both financially and morally due to central bank-enabled fraud (money printing) and are barreling toward a great default.  Entitlement promises of everlasting welfare payments will not be made; less they are paid out in increasingly worthless currency.  The politicians know this.  The enlightened public which sees the political class as nothing by liars, crooks, and thieves knows it.  The majority of voters still don’t.  The welfare state has turned them into dependents still seeking to use the force of government to rob their fellow man.

It has in part helped Houben’s career as a sperm donor.  As long as the safety net remains in place, women can have children without worrying if a check is on its way.

In a free society not plagued by the cancer known as the welfare state, Houben’s profession would be admirable as he out-competes others for market share.  Instead, his actions further bankrupt a deteriorating system of impoverishing dependency.  Bringing about a collapse of the welfare state sooner rather than later would no doubt be a positive development for all.  The short term pain will only serve as a lesson to those who rely on the productivity of others.

 

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Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:31 | 2358184 kato
kato's picture

Thanks for nothing.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:36 | 2358211 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Wasn't this an episode of Fringe like a month ago?

How will he keep his progeny from accidentally interbreeding or at least having random sex with each other?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:40 | 2358234 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

If they move to Appalachia, you won't stop them.........................

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:43 | 2358252 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

ihedgemyhedges

Why would they move to Appalachia?

Fuck dude they could compete against each other as Soccer or Rugby teams.

Someday it will be the Houbens representing every nation in the olympics.


Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:53 | 2358285 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Dude, soon enough he'll be able to field 2 football teams and fill the stands with his seedlings.................

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 13:00 | 2358740 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Houben!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 13:06 | 2358751 knukles
knukles's picture

Fookin' wanker

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 15:52 | 2359344 morkov
morkov's picture

a perfectly useles post, thank you.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 16:36 | 2359490 Golden Showers
Golden Showers's picture

"Get your hands off my junk"!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 14:53 | 2359140 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

What woman would want their child to look like that loser?!

 

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:53 | 2358287 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

"We don't die, we multiply." 

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:56 | 2358302 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

This guy is like a king from back in the day having all sorts of children. His legacy will rule the world someday. I was once offered a small amount to donate my sperm. I could picture it now. Two decades from now all of my offspring would come back and start expecting things from their daddy.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:51 | 2358502 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

If you want to implode the Eurozone, just keep importing more folks from North Africa and the Middle East.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:44 | 2358255 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

America has the same problem.

I personally prefer this satrical treatment of it (YES IT'S SATIRE) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzspsovNvII

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:53 | 2358279 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

"Man who jack-off in paper cup for living comes into hard money."

Neoconfucius

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:22 | 2358622 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

prick a peck of pickled peppers

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:44 | 2358250 tempo
tempo's picture

To those according to their ability, to those according to their need. The definition of "fairness" ...Marx and the Progressives. This is now capitalism in the West.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:45 | 2358259 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

http://www.oddee.com/item_96889.aspx

World's Most Prolific Surrogate Mother (12 babies)

Surrogate mother Carole Horlock, 42, has delivered 12 babies in 13 years - including triplets, setting the world record for the most prolific surrogate mother. She told the ABC News program "20/20." : "When I first started being a surrogate I expected to do it once," she said. "I hadn't looked past that. But I enjoyed it so much. Before I actually had given birth to the baby I wanted to do it again." Surrogates receive an average $25,000 to $30,000 for their services, "20/20" said. The downsides include in-vitro fertilization, morning sickness, bed rest, Caesarean sections and stretch marks.

Horlock will make no demands on the parents of the triplets beyond requesting an annual letter and photograph to let her know how they are doing. But her surrogacy experiences have not all been positive. Her father rarely speaks to her, distressed that she is effectively giving away his grandchildren.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:34 | 2358658 curiosul
curiosul's picture

They are not his grandchildren. The egg belongs to another woman not to his daughter. He should have other reasons to be upset.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 17:29 | 2359623 r00t61
r00t61's picture

Yeah, that father needs to attend Biology 101.

 

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:39 | 2358462 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

"The would-be mothers are heterosexual and preferably married, and their identity is not revealed to the donor."

What's so bad about helping sterile couples have children? What am I missing here? 

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:00 | 2358552 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

That's if you join the state run system. He's feeding a need for women unable to meet the state requirements. For example, the Vietnamese woman named Pia.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:32 | 2358187 misterc
misterc's picture

How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in't!

 

(Shakespeare)

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:41 | 2358477 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

... that all look like Jason Alexander ...

The future: full of short fat bald dimwitted people!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:03 | 2358556 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Your not talking about Bush's brain are you? (Karl Rove).

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:31 | 2358191 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I gave at the office.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:42 | 2358237 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Dipping the pen in the company ink, eh? You're a man who lives dangerously!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:02 | 2358326 TN Jed
TN Jed's picture

It's spelled "orifice."

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:03 | 2358331 resurger
resurger's picture

lol

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:51 | 2358489 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

I hope not like this guy:

Police: Vice Principal Had Sex With Girl In Office

http://www.newnation.org/

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 14:18 | 2358624 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

When someone receives something like that at the office it's really an extra bone-us.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:32 | 2358197 Trader47
Trader47's picture

Heres good ole Nigel Farage,, go on my son!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llDYLb7HoIk

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:41 | 2358235 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

And they heckle and laugh at him.  Nigel has been warning them for years but nobody listens.  I guess because it is a nice paying gig.  Why end the easy paycheck.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:36 | 2358199 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The welfare state, rather than being the product of political compassion, is really just a vote buying machine that is self-reinforcing and does little to help the poor. It turns the beneficiaries into impoverished wards of the state by paying for lifestyles marked by high consumption, high time preferences, and sparse, if any, thought given to the future.

http://www.benefits.gov/benefits/benefit-finder/#benefits&qc=cat_1

What type of benefits are you looking for?

  • Career Development Assistance
  • Child Care/Child Support
  • Counsel/Counseling
  • Disability Assistance
  • Disaster Relief
  • Education/Training
  • Energy Assistance
  • Environmental Sustainability/Conservation
  • Food/Nutrition
  • Grants/Scholarships/Fellowships
  • Healthcare
  • Housing
  • Insurance
  • Living Assistance
  • Loan/Loan Repayment
  • Medicaid/Medicare
  • Social Security
  • Tax Assistance
  • Veterans - Active Duty
  • Volunteer Opportunities
  • Other
Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:40 | 2358226 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

What about a vasectomy?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:50 | 2358267 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Sorry.  No can do, sir. 

However, if you gain 150 pounds we will call you disabled and give you one of these scooters:

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:52 | 2358282 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Maybe I judged death panels too harshly.

 

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:42 | 2358470 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Blubber can be used for lamp fuel in survival situations.

Or maybe illuminating stadiums?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:49 | 2358705 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

Hey is this one of those 'useless eaters' or can she cook and wash dishes?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 13:07 | 2358757 knukles
knukles's picture

There is enough fat there to repack all 4 wheel bearings on my Jaguar.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 14:21 | 2359038 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 2 * IJ-131011

+ 2 * IJ-132016

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:52 | 2358283 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

hedgeless_horseman

AND BINGO! The only people safe to hate FAT WHITE WOMEN AT WALMART.

Show us an obese biker, show an obese Negro or Hispanic.

Nope, the only safe ones to dis are the ones you can be safe from.



Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:20 | 2358364 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

+1 you bring up an interesting point re: interesecting of race and gender, in a tactless way

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:44 | 2358446 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

My apologies for being so insensitive.  Google seems to have removed all images of fat black man in wheelchair at REIMust be by order of the Surgeon General of the United States.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 19:30 | 2359835 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

She so large, that her FUPA touches the steering column, she has to flip up the arm rests, and her chin touches her chest.

I wonder if she requires one of these...

(Damn it, the picture of Peter Griffin selling butt scratchers isn't showing up)

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:42 | 2358471 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

While I may be shooting blanks, my magazine is still filled with hollow point.

Wait. What are we talking about here? :)

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 14:22 | 2359042 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 9 mm

That would be diameter, not length...

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:00 | 2358551 CPL
CPL's picture

Stop touching your junk.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:59 | 2358542 CPL
CPL's picture

Google what's the most i can make on welfare Ontario

 

Second link.  Prepare to be really annoyed..

Fri, 04/20/2012 - 01:19 | 2360377 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Third link, really really annoyed.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:34 | 2358202 Chump
Chump's picture

wtf?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:35 | 2358207 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Sensationalist title. But a nice job if you can get it.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:39 | 2358222 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Seorse Gorog fr..

http://www.amazon.com/The-Job-Sex-Workingmans-Productive/dp/0446764299

The Job of Sex: a Workingman's Guide to Productive Lovemaking
Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:36 | 2358212 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

82 children - he's thrown the gauntlet in front of the Duggars.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:56 | 2358298 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Not that I'm inclined to defend the patently insane, but the Duggars take care of their own (or at least their kids do).

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:36 | 2358214 mjk0259
mjk0259's picture

So, if a woman wanted to get pregnant, she could do it anyway and maybe with an illiterate alcoholic or drug addict as is common in US. This is better.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:42 | 2358238 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

mjk0259

I was surprised to learn professional athletes are advised to dispose of their used condoms themselves, just in case some money grabbing whore decides to dribble babyjuice into her hoochie.

I was chagrined to realize than no one advises young men of the same thing.

Too many bitches looking for a baby daddy these days.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:54 | 2358278 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

They should be sure these women spit or swallow, too...

http://mensnewsdaily.com/2011/02/27/man-receives-oral-sex-ordered-to-pay...

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:57 | 2358305 Gully Foyle
Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:53 | 2358286 flattrader
flattrader's picture

If you label your used condoms, I can guarantee that no woman would pick them up...for any reason.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:38 | 2358218 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Das ist rassistisch!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:38 | 2358219 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

Sen. Rand Paul Confronts Obama Crimes

An Exclusive interview, Alex Jones speaks with Sen. Rand Paul on NDAA, TSA undercover on Houston busses, Obama’s overall neglect of the Constitution, his possible impeachment and much moreThis is a must see video.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ryG-6Q8rMH0

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:37 | 2358220 Imminent Collapse
Imminent Collapse's picture

What's the ugliest part of your body?

What's the ugliest part that you know?

Some say its your nose, some say its your toes

But I think its your mind!  I think its your mind...

Frank Zappa

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:33 | 2358438 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

Who you jivin with that cosmic debris?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:38 | 2358223 pepperspray
pepperspray's picture

Low barrier to entry

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:39 | 2358229 Zola
Zola's picture

How can you compare someone giving women who could potentially not have a child the joy of having one to the utter crooks and miscreants you listed who are robbing the future of any child born . I dont get the logic.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:59 | 2358311 Chump
Chump's picture

You don't get it because there isn't any logic to be found in this article.

End the entitlements?  OK, first end the money printing that serves only to give the appearance of solvency to the TBTF welfare queens.  Lock up the banker and politico assholes in nice suits that are violating black letter law every day of their lives.  Then we'll go from there.  Deal?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:13 | 2358358 Xkwisetly Paneful
Xkwisetly Paneful's picture

Sorry no deal.

Won't change as long as dirt is brown.

Need: a military, banking system, food and fuel to run a country,

DON'T NEED 15,000 AGENCIES DOLING OUT SOCIAL BENEFITS.

I know how confusing this must be, since same imbecile like rationale is posted ad infinitum at zerobrains.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:06 | 2358421 Chump
Chump's picture

Junked for failing simple arithmetic and spouting nonsense.  We need a military, but not one that operates 3 or 4 wars at a time with ROEs that ensure a long conflict and no resolution.  We need a banking system (some might even disagree; I wouldn't) but not one that sucks on the teat of the government in order to survive.  We as individuals need fuel and food, and that should have nothing to do with the government.  I don't know why you even included those on the list.  Are you making an argument in favor of welfare and SNAP?

By the way, guess what happens when we stop bailing out TBTFs and stop printing money?  Bingo, we lose the ability to run massive deficits.  Which means all other entitlement spending is gutted.  You get your wish only if you approach the problem at its core.  Sure, some people will always want something for nothing; that doesn't mean they get it.

Final thought: I've seen you engage and talk down to your betters here quite a few times.  You are barely coherent most of the time, and you come from a purely "go Red Team" mindset that is simply laughable.  And this is coming from someone who makes Reagan look like a dread-locked hippy.  If "zerobrains" is filled with "imbecile like rationale [sic]" then why the fuck are you here?  Isn't there a Yahoo forum that would benefit from your brilliance?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:40 | 2358230 prains
prains's picture

It seems we're about to have 80 more short chubby people than we need.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:43 | 2358253 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

80 +10 more on the way.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:39 | 2358232 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

What the fuck does this have to do with economics news.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:13 | 2358360 Donnie Duvanie
Donnie Duvanie's picture

I think the point is that if all the men could be sperm donars, the world would be a much better and happier place.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:14 | 2358374 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

not all men, just the desireable ones.  The others are not needed.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:44 | 2358643 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

it points out that a few vulgar men are creatively fucking a lot of people

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:01 | 2358236 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Jplotinus:  A Socialist Copernicus Sleeper Cell of One !  Ed Houben:  Master race gene donor non-sleeper !   Monedas  2012   Comedy Jihad Human Zoo

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:41 | 2358243 schatzi
schatzi's picture

I tried to get a sperm donor career going during my uni time. I was rejected on the grounds of lacking sperm quality and discreetly advised to consume less dope and alcohol. I never came back.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:57 | 2358304 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Nice pun!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:36 | 2358662 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

what a great job, the marketing copy for the donation operation:

come on down, we're having a two for one sale

where the only thing that doesn't rise are the prices 

where every donor is the cream of the crop

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:43 | 2358245 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Rent-seeking behavior on the new-world value chain, bitchez!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:53 | 2358249 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Shit I I've been giving my sperm away for years and I could have made a career out of it..Damn it!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:13 | 2358359 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Business plan:  my magical throat-cancer prevention treatment for MILFs.  Dark room, place this tube in your mouth, and swallow the natural lubrication fluids.  Place $20 in the jar please.  Attention customers, please wait 15-minutes for resupply. 

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:48 | 2358266 mc_LDN
mc_LDN's picture

Pretty soon we'll all be living in secure self contained virtual reality units working to keep the machine going whilst our reproductive abilities are harvested and matched by the state for the benefit of the state. You and yours are now the states property. Family does not exist. Just the state and its slaves.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:48 | 2358268 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Well he is outperfoming the rest of the economy which seems to be firing blanks at the moment!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:49 | 2358269 Lazane
Lazane's picture

Selling your "Precious Bodily Fluids"  for cash, ah shucks I'm over 40.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:48 | 2358272 Herkimer Jerkimer
Herkimer Jerkimer's picture

There is only one solution to defeat this welfare mentality.

 

We must let it run its course. This kills me to admit this.

 

We are all a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing, @#$%ers when it comes right down to it, when given the opportunity.

 

Myself at the head of the line.

 

DRAIN THE SWAMP.

 

Start earning less, maximize your tax to take-home earnings, prepare for the worst/the future and let the system go broke and reset.

 

Canada is one of the worst, filled with welfare bums, and the entitlement mentality.

 

•?•
V-V

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:01 | 2358320 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

DRAIN THE SWAMP.

He has been, regularly it would seem.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:09 | 2358345 Herkimer Jerkimer
Herkimer Jerkimer's picture

Not that swamp....

 

LMFAO dude! Great comment!

 

•J•
V-V

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:51 | 2358277 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

He's a hoss!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:58 | 2358299 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Achtzig baby.

 

Wanker.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 10:58 | 2358306 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

What a stud!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:00 | 2358315 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

I can't stop laughing.  This story is pure f-ing gold!  Gold Jerry! 

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:00 | 2358319 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

He looks like George Kastanza...is he bald under that hat?  He actually sucessfully connected with 80 idiotic women who couldn't manage to pick up a hot (very drunk) guy in a bar?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:02 | 2358321 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Someone should kick him right square in the nads.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:09 | 2358332 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

In the sperm-donor stakes, I hear he was up against some stiff competition - but he managed to beat it out...

On a secondary note, judging by his outfit, his progency should at least be providing a fairly brisk trade for the the anorak/backpack business in the coming years...

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:10 | 2358352 Xrated
Xrated's picture

Ugly SOB, bet his women are fat pigs like him too.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:06 | 2358338 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Those children will be dog ugly, bald with premature heart disease.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:08 | 2358344 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

so gross, why do they let ugly guys donate sperm

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:11 | 2358350 patb
patb's picture

Yet Europe is mostly in Negative Population Growth.  If the general trend continues and his trend continues, Europe may one day all be Houbens.  I think i saw the plot of this movie, it was called Idiocracy.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:15 | 2358373 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

His progeny is the cast for the sequel, should we be so "fortunate" as to survive current entrenched Idiocracy.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:55 | 2358367 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Meet the Man Bankrupting the Eurozone (and Maybe the Rest of the World)

Sorry, but the thesis here doesn't hold water and this putz in the picture isn't an "entrepreneur" he's a naked put writer collecting premiums.

That this guy can make a buck knocking up women doesn't really have anything to do with the welfare state.  Some women go with his....uh...service because it's cheaper and less of a hassle than the sperm bank system. Ok, fine.

But the welfare state is paying the mothers and the children they have custody of, not the sperm doner.  Somehow we're supposed to believe that without Mr. Houben demand would never meet supply. Please.

Sure....subsidize something and you will get more of it,  but places like Compton and the Bronx are filled with children and mothers on the dole who got their sperm for free (I can hear my sig. other's relatives saying: "Only a white girl would pay for sex!".

And overall, Western European birthrates are below replacement levels so the welfare state is actually shrinking the population (see: no free lunch)even as those in the cart outnumber those pulling the cart.

Come on you Canadians, get your shit together.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:16 | 2358378 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

"Put simply, throwing money at a problem often ends up inducing little change."

Oh, but it sure does change the people who get the welfare.  They begin to believe that what you have cost you nothing and that what you have is their's for the taking...like a ripe piece of fruit.

My friend had a house in Brooklyn and the garden in the back hadn't been tended to in years.  I offered to help get it in shape and the project took about 6 weekends of backbreaking work.  She had her downstairs apartment approved for section 8 housing and took in her cousin (who had 5 illegitimate children by 2 fathers).  Mind you, this cousin did NOT lift a finger to help with the work in the garden, but by mid-summer she got banned from the garden.  She had gone into the garden one morning and picked everything that was ripe, leaving nothing for my friend.  I remember it so clearly because the most upsetting thing was that she didn't understand why we were so angry.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:20 | 2358394 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

So market up days correlate to his donor days?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:24 | 2358403 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Question of the day-

What do Ed Houben & Ben Shalom have in common?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:53 | 2358504 prole
prole's picture

They're both butt ugly?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:31 | 2358431 pauhana
pauhana's picture

The man's a fucking genius!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:32 | 2358445 israhole
israhole's picture

Only goyim get slapped with child support payments, while this troll spreads his progeny across the world and gets paid some for it.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 13:33 | 2358862 Freebird
Freebird's picture

All very good & insightful answers, but no cigar yet

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:41 | 2358473 Nukular Freedum
Nukular Freedum's picture

This just in;

"£500,000 gold-leafed royal barge transported through London in preparation for the celebration of the 60-year reign of a shapeshifting Satanist (the world is mad)" - David Icke 

Yeah David, its the world.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:43 | 2358479 Herkimer Jerkimer
Herkimer Jerkimer's picture

I'd encourage everyone to go to the Spiegel article and read it.

Ed Hoben is a dangerous little fuck.

He has no meaning in his life. He's lived on the tit, and the subsidiary tit of the government all his life.

He is formless blob of a human, who doesn't know why he exists, and has not even contemplated it.

He is sad and pathetic.

If he lived anywhere else outside of continental Europe or NA, as Grimely said in that amazing Simpson episode, "He would starve to death."

This is what the radical looks like.

They will be sopped up like the overage pour of gravy, by the bread that sees them coming, to be radicalized, as they have no centre, no idea of anything that they stand for in life. Malleable.

Ed is at best, a functioning 14 year, emotionally.

He should be thoroughly analyzed by psychiatrists to identify what is wrong with him. They will discover he's nothing. He's had  no instruction in society, no socialization. He just exists. A parasite.

He is Homer Simpson writ large.

•?•
V-V

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:01 | 2358523 goforgin
goforgin's picture

It's good to see that an average person can actually receive something from the system instead of just getting in debt to support the elites or working and paying for his employer's lavish lifestyle.

Reality is a bitch, isn't it?  These Ayan Rand types spewing their capital formation myth don't tell you that for each dollar that is passed on to folks like this- that's one less dollar that's going to end up chasing ponzi asset valuations that raise the cost of living for the average Joe.. Entrepreneurs build factories in China and use production by slave laborers who live in barracks. Is Apple making aynone richer or happier?

Steve Jobs sent more people into work camps than Joesef Stalin!

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 11:56 | 2358529 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

There's always more than one Houben...

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 12:21 | 2358534 thunderchief
thunderchief's picture

Has anyone ever heard of the Sneaky Fucker Gene?

Well, you just found it.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 13:03 | 2358743 AgShaman
AgShaman's picture

Hahaha.....82 women just had a "Seinfeld" moment....

When they found out "Newman" is the papa

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 13:49 | 2358906 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...now that's the mark of the beast, and people say they have never seen the image. Lol.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6P3_Si63zc&feature=related

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 13:59 | 2358943 Diet Coke and F...
Diet Coke and Floozies's picture

Congrats Tyler and Mr. James Miller. This the first article on ZH that I'm thinking twice about commenting on... The first time I'm worried about saying something I may regret later.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 14:53 | 2359136 laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

20 000 000 millon muslims in europe with up to four wives two to 20 children and you worry about this?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 15:22 | 2359240 short-swap
short-swap's picture

High volume moving semen futures long. 0bama moves in to regulate.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 15:33 | 2359265 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Don't they always look so innocent?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 16:41 | 2359502 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

I read Mises Institute at the top of the page and knew this was bullshit.

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 16:52 | 2359529 blueskies123
blueskies123's picture

How does this "stud" with a 80% success rate impregnate these women?  the old fashioned way or does he spritz into a cup which is later transferred via a turkey baster device?

 

anyone with a clean mind knows?

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 23:38 | 2360285 indio007
indio007's picture

The logic is flawed as far as giving everyone 40k. Employers still need workers and would have to pay people to keep them off of welfare and  obviously more than 40K. Of course , they would need to raise prices of their product and the new found welfare wealth will be inflated away.

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