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Guest Post: The New Drug of Choice In The White House, Federal Reserve and Treasury: Delusionol (tm)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Charles Hugh Smith from Of Two Minds

The New Drug of Choice in the White House, Federal Reserve and Treasury: Delusionol (tm)

If you just want to suppress the symptoms but leave the financial disease untouched, Delusionol (tm) is the drug of choice.

Inside sources are reporting that there's a new drug of choice circulating in the hallways of power--the White House, Federal Reserve and the Treasury Department--and it's a perfectly legal prescription psychotropic: Delusionol (tm). Delusionol works by activating the parts of the brain that replace cognition and reasoning with positive fantasies.

For example, a driver on Delusionol might run over a person in a wheelchair, bounce off a fire hydrant and send a baby carriage hurtling into a brick wall, and they would be happily convinced that they were an excellent driver.

Now you understand why Delusionol is being gulped in vast quantities in the halls of power: the guys (and yes, it's mostly guys) really want to believe the "economic recovery" they've been hyping, and since it's rationally preposterous, they need a drug to suppress recognition that their policies have only made the financial disease worse and stimulate a delusional belief in the fantasy of "recovery."

What can you say about someone who knows household incomes are falling, inflation and unemployment are much higher than officially reported, all the jobs created out of thin air by the birth-death model of small business employment are bogus, yet they "believe the recovery is self-sustaining"? They're obviously on Delusionol.

Unfortunately, like many other prescription drugs passed out in the tens of millions, Delusionol is highly addictive. Once you experience the "high" of believing that suppressing symptoms is the same as actually solving problems, it's almost impossible to return to reality, where actions and policies still have consequences, often unintended and often horrendously destructive--for example ZIRP (zero interest rate policy).

Even worse, the most blatant lies (for example, the birth-death model fabrication of phantom jobs, the illusory "declining rate of unemployment," the fantasy that cutting 1% of the Federal budget will make a difference in a budget that is 40% borrowed money, and so on) are suddenly "real" to the person on Delusionol.

No sane person would believe that one corporation with $40 billion annual profit can juice a stock market worth $14 trillion, but folks on Delusionol will believe any absurdity if it's presented as "real." They have literally lost the ability to discern between fantasy and reality.

Sadly, White House staffers on Delusionol have been seen planning the re-election party in November 2012, as if the global economy isn't imploding and as if that won't take down the precarious, "all inventory stuffing plus Apple earnings" U.S. stock market and economy.

The debt-clogged financial arteries of the nation are about to burst, but the Delusionol-tripping "leaders" in the White GHouse, Fed and Treasury are confident the economy is ready for a sprint, or a 10K run, heck, even a marathon.

Anything's believable to a drug-addled sap on Delusionol.

Delusionol is a parody. It is not a real drug.

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Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:49 | 2380345 JustObserving
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When reality is so bleak, you gotta be delusional.  Besides, your job depends on it.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:49 | 2380353 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Precisely why drinking remains the curse of the working class. (and why certain drugs remain legal, while others do not)

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:55 | 2380371 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Most traders I know are seriously abusing Havidol.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:56 | 2380380 NOTfromSanFrancisco
NOTfromSanFrancisco's picture

 

to h h...

Havidol... HAVIDOL!!!... I love that one too!...

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:24 | 2380442 Hard1
Hard1's picture

DELUSIONOL 100

 Drug Facts

Active Ingredients:

ZIRP   0.25 grams

QE     2.5 Teragrams

Debt Spending  15 Teragrams

Directions:  Adults and children 12 years and over:  Take one tablet daily and one on every downtick of the S&P.  Continue to use if symptoms persist and use even more if they insist on persisting.  WARNING:  Secondary effects may include diarrhea, vomiting, either hiperinflation or deflation and return to the barter system.

Ask a doctor if you have a fiat currency system

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:27 | 2380466 Paul Atreides
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Have you heard about the new drug they have for lesbians? It's called Trycoxagan

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:31 | 2380475 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Do not use Trycoxagan if you have had an addadictomy.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:56 | 2380507 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

heh, and all this time I've been thinking they were just a bunch of corrupt, lying scumbags.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:13 | 2380568 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Antidote: Fukital

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 14:21 | 2380713 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Quay Lewd: "I know you're out there, you white punks on dope! I see you! Aaaaaaagh!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJfbO-iBkZI

 

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:09 | 2380559 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

You know what you call a lesbian dinosaur?  Lickalotapuss

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 16:04 | 2380995 tmosley
tmosley's picture

17.5 teragrams!?  I can't swallow that!

Good news!  It's a suppository!

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 23:48 | 2381728 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Taking Debtrol™ or Spenditol™ with Delusionol™ is contra-indicated!

 

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:30 | 2380473 Normalcy Bias
Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:46 | 2380497 MarsInScorpio
MarsInScorpio's picture

Went to the site - took the test. I'm on the brink . . .

 

Congratulations on a seriously funny web site. Can't wait to share it with my friends!!

 

(I wonder how many will think it's a real deal??? Probably more than you'd ever want to imagine.)

-30-

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:23 | 2380398 pods
pods's picture

I would also add that's why every single weekend of the year can be stuffed with non stop circuses geared towards young men.

Better to have them drunk in front of the TV than to be discussing the state of things over coffee and reloading dies.

pods

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:24 | 2380603 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

I thought work was the curse of the drinking class...

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:19 | 2380446 William Murderface
William Murderface's picture

Ah man!  I was ready with credit card in hand to get some until that last sentence. 

Thanks for the dry hump.   :( 

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:22 | 2380455 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

While this post is an attempt at humor, something that NEVER is mentioned are the drugs politicians are on.

I recall  Powell mentioning how the Bush WH lived on Ambien.

(http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&add...

"Secretary Powell: Yes. Well, I wouldn’t call them that. They’re a wonderful medication — not medication. How would you call it? They’re called ambien, which is very good. You don’t use ambien? Everybody here uses ambien."

http://www.btcnews.com/btcnews/1238

Are Bush administration officials high on more than life?)

We have sleep meds, pick me ups, Anitdepressants, Blood pressure meds, Cholesterol drugs, and whatever else gets these aging power mongers through the day.

It's like they are Seventies housewives living out Mothers little helper.

No wonder policy is all fucked up.

We all make REALLY REALLY BAD decisions when doped to the gills.

I doubt one of these people have a firm grasp on reality, with all the drugs and social isolation.

Maybe someone should do a research project on what are the most common drugs prescribed to politicos and what the side effects are.

It would help we peons comprehend the mechanism of fuckupedness we labor under.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:07 | 2380556 Rainman
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Poor bastards....they used to be able to smoke like chimneys and drink like fish and snag a few interns on the sneak. Now look at them !

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 15:14 | 2380881 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

I know. They can't even have a few beers and go quail hunting without some old guy getting shot in the face.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:34 | 2380478 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Ty you slipping! Delusional has been the drug of choice at the White House for years now!

 

The new drug is actually Retardorall (tm).

 

 

 

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:41 | 2380629 reTARD
reTARD's picture

And you people think I'm crazy... I've been on both Delusionol (tm) and Retardorall (tm) for decades already when Emperor Greenspan first introduced me to them. That's why we never see recessions!

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:59 | 2380532 azusgm
azusgm's picture

You gotta be delusional to think "they" is a singular pronoun.

Thu, 05/17/2012 - 04:54 | 2434395 jaffa
jaffa's picture

The head of a treasury is typically known as a treasurer. This position may not necessarily have the final control over the actions of the treasury, particularly if they are not an elected representative. Thanks.
Regards,
online translation services

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:48 | 2380346 CuriousPasserby
CuriousPasserby's picture

 

I just finished reading "When Money Dies" about the Weimar hyperinflation and the parallels to today are scary! European leaders were having meetings every few months about how to collect war debts from the losers who had no money, and the bank printing the money kept claiming that printing money didn't cause inflation, they only printed what was needed in the economy as prices rose!

 

For PM hoarders you'll be glad to know that not everyone was hurt by the inflation. Profiteers who had hard currency got rich while pensioners, bondholders and people with bank accounts were wiped out. But a lot of the profiteers were Jews and their profiteering while others suffered is probably what helped  ignite the holocaust.

 

So if you plan to get rich when the dollar tumbles, don't go around wearing three furs you got from an impoverished widow and showing off your success.

 

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:52 | 2380356 Everybodys All ...
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How did people do who were short the markets?

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:06 | 2380407 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

How did people do who were long the market?

In nominal terms, great!

In real terms, not so great.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:18 | 2380444 CuriousPasserby
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The German stock market went way up in Marks because people put their money there, but in dollars it was way down.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:55 | 2380374 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

If Delusionol had been around in the Weimar days they would never of been in the trouble they were , thanks " Delusionol" I can finally get my life back  , ( side effects include selling gold , buying stocks , trusting CNBC .)

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:28 | 2380611 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

"When Money Dies" is an absolute "must read". I sent a copy to each of my six grown kids. I just hope that they read it and heed it,

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:49 | 2380351 Decolat
Decolat's picture

It's in the water supply in my whole town, apparently.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:51 | 2380357 SDRII
SDRII's picture

how much of the ongoing drop in govt spend running through GDP is to manage through the debt ceiling debate? if at all?

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:53 | 2380363 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

I wasn't one to buy in the whole NWO stuff but, I have to say it seems more likely everyday!!

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:53 | 2380364 carbonmutant
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Is it more addictive than iphones?

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 20:30 | 2381480 TheFourthStooge-ing
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carbonmutant asked:

Is it more addictive than iphones?

The iPhone is one of the recommended methods of dispensing Delusionol.

In a similar manner, Corazine is dispensed via vaporizer.

 

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:54 | 2380366 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

I know so many people who are on that stuff! Fuck they are annoying though.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:54 | 2380367 machinegear
machinegear's picture

Isn't Delusional used to make Meth?

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:00 | 2380396 NOTfromSanFrancisco
NOTfromSanFrancisco's picture

 

actually machine gear...

Meth is in Delusional...

The belief is, the faster the money supply is increased, the better the effects... Hence, the need for speed...

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:07 | 2380420 machinegear
machinegear's picture

NOTfromSanFran, if that is the case... then when hyperinflation hits from the increased money supply it stands to reason that everyone on Delusional need not worry about outrageous food prices in the absence of teeth. So, I think we're ok taking 2 Delusional per day.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:11 | 2380428 NOTfromSanFrancisco
NOTfromSanFrancisco's picture

 

to machinegear...

Agreed... and still laughing...

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:23 | 2380602 azusgm
azusgm's picture

Hyperinflation will hit from the increased money velocity, not the supply. Money meth with the expanded supply of Bernanke bucks will be a big problemo.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:54 | 2380369 q99x2
q99x2's picture

14 trillion is all the stock market is worth? Wow we are doomed. Central banks can print that up in minutes.

Banksters can rehypothecate it in seconds.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:00 | 2380391 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The 'stock markets' are the least relevant indicator of anything, but people have been trained to believe stock markets are the ONLY relevant thing, like the stupid gullable sheeple they are. We can have collapsing real conditions, and someone flips the green switch on the rigged FED controlled markets and EVERYONE suddenly thinks all must be well. Theyre really trained the sheeple herd quite well.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 13:29 | 2380613 azusgm
azusgm's picture

The closing prints for the DOW, Nazz, and S&P function as sources of reassurance for the people with money in 401(k)s. The PPT pumps the close and the families eat out and go shopping.

Delusionol with a Hopium chaser. Bullish.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:55 | 2380372 NOTfromSanFrancisco
NOTfromSanFrancisco's picture

 

Hahahahahahahahahaha...

I LOVE the disclaimer at the bottom of the article!...

 

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 15:20 | 2380893 Amish Hacker
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"No delusions were harmed in the making of this parody."

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 11:56 | 2380373 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture

wow.

 

(Reuters) - More than 1 million Americans who have taken out mortgages in the past two years now owe more on their loans than their homes are worth, and Federal Housing Administration loans that require only a tiny down payment are partly to blame.

"I'm at least $80,000 under water," Opalka told Reuters. "We never expected to go under water. We never expected prices to fall like they have. We definitely didn't see this coming. If I'd known this, we probably would have rented."

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/04/26/us-usa-housing-negative-idUSBR...

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:03 | 2380402 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

$80,000 underwater, lol,...'We never expected THAT!' 

Yea, nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquisition! The Spanish Inquisition - YouTube

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:07 | 2380417 NOTfromSanFrancisco
NOTfromSanFrancisco's picture

 

to Arnold...

WOW is right!...

"If I'd known this, we PROBABLY would have rented."??? Probably???... Seriously???...

I guess my perception that everyone must have been a doctor or lawer but me during the R.E. boom was a little wrong... To know that greed exists is one thing, but to know the level of its existence, that is a whole 'nother animal...

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