Guest Post: An Open Letter to Jamie Dimon

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by James Koutoulas, President, Commodity Customer Coalition and CEO, Typhon Capital Management

An Open Letter to Jamie Dimon

“People fall not from their weaknesses, but from their strengths gone to excess.”- Aeschylus

Dear Mr. Dimon,

I used to be one of your biggest fans. Back when I was 17 years old working at a Salomon Smith Barney branch in Ft. Lauderdale, you were fired from Citigroup when everyone had you pegged as the heir to Sandy Weill’s burgeoning empire. Everyone at the branch was shocked, as we all knew you by reputation as a brilliant CEO-in-the-making, and frankly, most of us were disappointed as we genuinely were all looking forward to working under your leadership one day.

While your ousting was unexpected, you recovered quickly, and perhaps it helped motivate you to accomplish great things in the financial industry. You came to the CEO post at Bank One, then engineered its acquisition by JPMorgan Chase and took the CEO prize for yourself. All the while, Citi floundered, and you led JPMorgan Chase to become the premier American bank. Under your stewardship, Chase eschewed most of the sub-prime crisis and snapped up some of the choicest prizes in the ensuing crisis, namely Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual. Well done, sir.

Personally, I was proud to be a JPMorgan customer and proudly listed in our offering documents that our firm’s operational capital was safely held with your institution. I enjoyed great relationships with both your hedge fund/commercial banking division and your newly resurgent futures prime brokerage group. We were even on good terms with your private bank.

Then, the MF Global bankruptcy happened. And, I became aware of your bank’s involvement with the firm’s collapse. How the New York Times reports that JPMorgan received 325M in segregated customer funds despite the fact that JPMorgan Chase was a primary custodian for them. Then, JPMorgan Chase reportedly failed to return the funds when MF Global reported that they erroneously transferred customer assets and went a step further into “CYA” mode by requesting a comfort letter indicating that JPMorgan Chase had not received customer funds. JPMorgan Chase reportedly did not receive this letter, yet still, it kept customers’ property.

Through my role as the co-founder of the Commodity Customer Coalition and pro bono counsel for some 8,000+ customers whose property it looks like your institution may be holding without their consent, I have loudly advocated for JPMorgan Chase to return this property. In response to this, rather than doing the right thing, you closed all of my personal and corporate bank accounts and my personal credit card. I have been told by multiple members of the media that JPMorgan Chase has called them and stated that if their media outlet has me on television again, that JPMorgan Chase will pull their advertising from the offending network.

These bully tactics have only strengthened my resolve to protect my clients whom you have knowingly wronged and continue to wrong by improperly holding their property. It has made me delve deeper into what I have found is a pattern of such malicious conduct across JPMorgan Chase’s business groups. JPMorgan Chase bribed officials in Jefferson County, Alabama, one of the poorest counties in the United States, to enter into a disastrous derivative transaction that bankrupted the county and caused an increase of 400% in sewage prices, forcing these poor people to have to choose between food and clean water. JPMorgan Chase designed an overdraft processing system that intentionally prioritized higher dollar transactions so that as many transactions as possible would overdraft, again generating usurious-like fees on the bank of those who can ill afford it. Let’s not forget about robo-signing, forging foreclosure documents, or, getting back to the futures world, failing to properly segregate customer funds.

Mr. Dimon, why do you impugn your character and reputation by allowing your firm to engage in these immoral activities? Sure, the regulators have failed to assess you any meaningful punishments that would deter you from this conduct on a strict, short-term dollars and cents analysis. Every penny of earnings counts, I get it. But, sir, you do not strike me as someone who is trying to pump your company’s stock price for a quarter or two. You are the face of JPMorgan Chase and, I would assume, you plan on being there for a while. Why intentionally destroy any and all goodwill your firm has to make additional revenue that is mostly insignificant in the short-term and, quite possibly, deleterious in the long-term? The only reason I can think of is: because you can. And, that, sir is where hubris starts.

Lately, it seems you’ve come to relish the role of antagonist, bully, and even, villain. You’ve gone on rants about tax rates, how gosh darn profitable you are going to make JPMorgan Chase, and even gone so far as to call out journalists for their share of salaries versus the revenue of news organizations. Put plainly, the confidence that enabled you to build JPMorgan Chase has now become arrogance. Mr. Dimon, I happen to have been a classics scholar and have read this story many times before. It never ends well.

While you have led your firm to a dominant position in the banking industry and record profits of late, you haven’t done it alone. You’ve had the benefit of taxpayer funds, whether you needed them or not (as you claim). You’ve had extremely favorable regulation and public policy that for years has prioritized re-capitalizing banks over the rights of Main Street Americans to be able to bear the fruit of their labor. Yet, you have begun to act like a megalomaniac, drunk on his own power ala Caligula, and attribute 100% of your success to your personal superlatives. People are starting to notice. While Occupy Wall Street has failed to articulate any clear message or goals, they have tapped into a rage in this country that is real and palpable. You have alienated many of your peers on Wall Street and in the hedge fund industry (yes, you have peers). And, now, you have alienated many members of the media that have the voices to spread the word of the ill conduct which your firm has repeatedly engaged in.

In the Niccomedean Ethics, Aristotle described the worst kind of man as the “Incontinent Man,” namely he who knows what he does is wrong and does it anyway. I believe somewhere deep down, you realize that a lot of what you and the bank that you lead do has become increasingly wrong. Why continue to go on like that? You’re at the pinnacle of wealth and power, and continuing to do wrong will not make you meaningfully richer or more powerful. It can only serve to hurt you. “For what will it profit a main if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?”

Based on all of your accomplishments, you may think you’re beyond reproach, that you will never have your comeuppance. But, there’s a reason that during Triumphs in Ancient Rome, a slave stood behind the Emperor whispering “all glory is fleeting” in his ear. Because, it is. And, one day, something bad will happen to JPMorgan Chase. I don’t know if it will be a blow-up of the bank’s some $500 Billion in re-hypothecation exposure or a squeeze on its rumored massive short silver position. Or, if the United States will again see a regulator that believes in, and enforces, stiff punishment for misconduct by banks. But, we will all find out should you continue down the path you are on.

So, rather than continuing to corrupt your soul to harm others for negligible gain to yourself, choose a different path. Use your intelligence and your leadership abilities and your charisma to do the right thing, and set an example for the rest of the financial industry by showing that it is better for all society, JPMorgan Chase and Jamie Dimon included, to not crush those weaker or poorer than you by exacting every last cent from them just because you can.  Rein in your malicious activities and focus on the legitimate ones. Be just a little humble -- and remove the target you’ve placed on your own back.

Perhaps, you can start by voluntarily returning the returning all the excess overdraft fees JPMorgan Chase overcharged average Americans through mal intent. While you’re at it, give back the hard-earned property of the farmers, ranchers, retirees, and others who were MF Global clients before I come take it back in court. JPMorgan Chase can borrow at 0% interest from the Fed. Do you realllly need an illicit free loan borne on the backs of farmers?

Whether you realize it or not, you’re at a crossroads.  And, I promise you, one Greek to another, I will ardently help you to come to the end of whichever path you choose.

James L. Koutoulas, Esq.
President, Commodity Customer Coalition
CEO, Typhon Capital Management

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Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture


Fuck you you cocksucker.


Fukushima Sam's picture

I hear that the rumors of Jamie Dimon raping young boys are not true.

Dixie Rect's picture

No, but taking part in the raping of every American man, woman and child.

Whoa Dammit's picture

I sincerely hope that from now on Dimon is known as "Incontinent Man."

We should pool money to put up an "Incontinent Man" billboard along his route to or from his office.

Can't wait to see what WB7 does with this one. :-).

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"Be just a little humble -- and remove the target you’ve placed on your own back. "

Jamie Dimon can wash and scrub his back all day and night, but that target isn't going away. It'll be with him the rest of his life.


Mayer Amshel's picture

Smugglers, Morgan's, and a boat called Lusitania full of gunpowder

nope-1004's picture

This letter was written by a seemingly normal individual, addressed to a sociopath.  He asks "why do you impugn....."  Hate to tell ya, but you won't get an answer.  Sociopaths are always the victims, and narcissistic ones like Dimon make up shit like people stalking him, etc....  He's a gloryhole, and that's it.  JPM will implode one day and he'll blame others, never once looking in the mirror.  The sociopath can't, or the jig is up.  If they do, the image falls, the facade ends, and the illusionary grandeur is brought to light for the world to see.  Madoff still believes he's above the common man - all sociopaths are mentally disconnected from reality.

Dimon is worse because he has narcissistic personality traits, which means he'll probably choose death over public embarrassment.  He puts himself on a pedestal and thinks others idolize him, as he once said:  "you're all just jealous at our bonuses because we make more money than you".  He's clearly not a sane individual.

ilion's picture

Do you think a guy who will burn in hell really gives a about this letter?

margaris's picture

The author of this letter, Mister Koutoulas, was interviewed by Capital Account two weeks ago.

You might want to check it out to see the face behind the letter:

Bindar Dundat's picture

Serving Mammon will not end well for him or othes like him in the Kingdom. He has chosen his master and he will eventually pay the price of "Avarice Deified"

Element's picture

Well that seemed all rather too cordial and polite.



And why do I have this sudden urge to buy some Nike shoes? ... I hate nike shoes! ... they're fuckin lame and look like arse.



Omen IV's picture

he does give a - if you are watching his comments and actions over the last three years he is getting increasingly thin skinned - 

his appearance last year in Davos and the head to head with sarkozy was very telling - he was in way over his head with his comments  -  then the OCS march to his park ave coop and he says he was intimidated and concerned more than when his guards protected him in Lebanon

he is all about owning obama right now - its not about smart or money but the ability to get away with virtually anything because he owns the keys to all the politicians, judges and regulators especially the OCC

 a scumbag!

The trend is your friend's picture

I think the author ment crosshairs or laser beams when he said "target on your back"

nmewn's picture

"Through my role as the co-founder of the Commodity Customer Coalition and pro bono counsel for some 8,000+ customers whose property it looks like your institution may be holding without their consent, I have loudly advocated for JPMorgan Chase to return this property."

At least we've finally gotten over this silly notion that ones money cannot be defined as property.

hangemhigh77's picture

I'm in.  I've got $20 for an Incontinent Man Billboard in Times Square

illyia's picture

That would have to be a very short billboard as he lives on the upper E side. But a series of boards along 5th avenue all the way down with a progressive message (as in a card movie, not as in liberal) might draw some attention.

Maybe WB7?

Bendromeda Strain's picture

as in a card movie

Burma Shave, young'ns. Google it!

el Gallinazo's picture

"for some 8,000+ customers whose property it looks like your institution may be holding without their consent, "

Nice turn of phrase.  I recall some years ago two men approached me in NYC holding snub nosed .38's, and after some discussion they were holding my property without my consent.  Not entirely true, but withholding my consent looked pretty dicey.

Silver Bug's picture

Good luck getting an answer from Jamie Dimon. One of the most corrupt people on WallStreet.

Zero Govt's picture

Hitler never relented, he accelerated

Dimon will be no different, expect more/worse to come

Hitlers end was downright grotty, Mussolinis very grizzly ..something to look forward to then

Manthong's picture

JPM has bilked millions out of otherwise good mortgage customers for ripoff scam (way overpriced- like 500%) temporary insurance if their regular insurance lapses for only a little while. No harm was done to them yet they pounce to suck customers dry.

It will be fun to watch that crap bank go down.

resurger's picture

I want to live to a moment where ZH writes this Headline:

The recent surge in silver by 30% was due to massive naked short covering by JP Morgan

JP incurs a loss of $30 billion due to naked short covering in silver.

that would be a bitch, bitchez!

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Me too.  Let's make it happen:

Buy silver bullion, take back the money supply, and crush JPM's short positions.

Manthong's picture

Don't get me wrong here.. gold is good but silver is better.

Gold is banker money but silver is peoples money and needs to be a medium of exchange once again.

The governments and banks pretty much control the physical gold monetary market but they only control the paper silver market.

That control can be broken under the right circumstances.

It would be nice if JPM was a casualty of breaking that control.

lasvegaspersona's picture

Don't get me wrong...I'm too old and sensitive to fight but...examine what he calls FOFOAs dilema, it has the same solution as Triffen's don't use the same item for both medium of exchange and store of value.

I think FOFOA is misunderstood here at ZH. He is not the 'hard money' kind of guy most here seem to think they are and so his writing is pooh poohed. BUT there are issues with the classic gold standard that must be recognized. Gold will be a better wealth asset as a store of value only than some kind of medium of exchange. What many here really are is 'hard money socialists'...they would give the very government they despise the right to say what gold is worth. How did that work out last time? Gold $35/ can't have any though.

Manthong's picture

Folks should understand that FDR's real gold confiscation was not from the citizenry but from the local banks to the government/Fed.

JFK had the right idea with the Silver Certificate.

Some interesting reading as we proceed through the climax of the debt supercycle: 

Marco's picture

FDR confiscated Fed gold as well ... and they were none too fucking happy about it.

ZHs by and large don't understand what FDR did. He might have been an enemy of property rights and the economy (I personally think property is a privilege and he helped the economy, but I can understand the other viewpoint) but he was no friend to the bankers.

LowProfile's picture


you can't have any though

That was only the case in this country.

Why does Europe not tax gold?  Hmm...  What do they know that the US and other countries don't.   Hmm, hmm, hmm...

eddiebe's picture

Well yes, that would be great for silver, and it probably will happen, but 30 billion means crap to people that own a printing press.

Sleepless Knight's picture

How about a surge in silver of 300 percent. That will get us to approx. 17 to 1 where it should be.

hangemhigh77's picture

Make that surge 230%.  And that's not enough. When the lid blows off the pressure cooker it's gonna go to $150 in a week.

chunga's picture

"Force-Placed" insurance is the new sensation for the 1%. (Okay, it's not really new.)

I recently saw a force-placed insurance policy on an abandoned foreclosure property.

Annual premium was 10K. The house is worth 50K tops. I strongly suspect this was paid with TARP money.



antisepticWipe's picture

That is fucked right up. Can you say who shelled out that money and who took that insurance check?


CoolBeans's picture

Depends what the definition of ...

Oh nevermind...Dimon doesn't care.  He has free reign.  For now....

847328_3527's picture

What about all those hampsters?...

solgundy's picture

but can Dimon prove the rumors are not true?

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Sometimes the point is not to be elequent; sometimes the point is simply to make a point.

chumbawamba's picture

I'm sure Mr. Koutoulas' letter would have been more in line with your more appropriately terse version if he didn't have the fancy CEO title.  The economy of your version should be required study in business schools across the nation.


Kaiser Sousa's picture

Ur literary eloquence is unmatched.... I salute u sir.... N other news a US warhead just murdered 16 afghan civilians... They hate us because of our way of life and freedoms.........

smiler03's picture

It wasn't a warhead. A soldier shot 16 civilians, nine of whom were children.

God bless the US and may it die an agonising death.