Guest Post: Performance Anxiety

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Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:38 | 1821920 FOC 1183
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Post of the year

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:12 | 1822140 Hippocratic Oaf
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Fuck Cramer

CNBC has him on all morning we WANT to see him.

I have to keep all TV's in the office on this shit!

Have to look at his ugly mug on billboard going home on Westside Hwy.

He loves Bear Stearns, Lehman and Dykstra.

Die you fuck!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:27 | 1822204 oogs66
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At least he does start his show pointing out that he's not just there to entertain you. Tells me that is his primary purpose. He isn't bad at that function. Too bad investors can't understand that

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 16:54 | 1824886 CIABS
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i'm coming to this thread pretty late, but i think it's worth raising the possibility that cramer is a higher-level operative than many believe him to be.  he worked for a certain firm, and for a certain individual at that firm, ahem, and with his nightly show he's well-placed to influence the public.  i think it's possible that for a number of years he was doing his own thing, but now with the show he might be part of a team and no longer freelancing.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:14 | 1822667 obejoyful
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Cramers popularity shows the intelligence of the average investor.  If you need a clown to give you advice then you are not mature enough for this activity. I have two children and the shows they watch on Nick Jr are easier for me to watch than that idiot Cramer.  When the market goes down he will say that he told people to be careful even though the week before he was telling people to buy buy buy.

One day one his sheep will lose all their money and will go looking for him.



Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:46 | 1823006 Don Birnam
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Frankly, this item should run in the WSJ Op-Ed section. Long overdue commentary, regarding this mendacious entertainer.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:39 | 1821925 GeneMarchbanks
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Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:00 | 1822061 HedgeAccordingly
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What only a 10 point S&P range today..? WHAT?  - .. maybe crarmer is about to throw in the hat. i respect the guy for trying but.. he needs to respect himself. 

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1821938 Timmay
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Managing money is ultimately a no win situation. Creating money on the other hand....

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1821939 Dick Darlington
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Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1821944 soopy
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But he's got all these buttons that make cool noises!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:42 | 1821948 Christoph830
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Brought tears to my eyes...

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:42 | 1821957 SeverinSlade
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"The point is: please don't listen to Cramer - he really is an idiot."

Most of the smartest things ever said.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:02 | 1822375 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
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I'm impressed how this so-called investor actually got any money considering he thinks Cramer has a valid opinion (and track record). Investor-boy would've lost his ass 10 times over on "Buying Bear Stearns" or whatever type of foolishness was being hyped that day. 

I suppose the real problem with idiot investors like this is that:

1. They get a lump of money either via inheritance or selling off some family property. The gist is that they didn't make the money, and likely don't have anyway to duplicate such a windfall again.

2. They think that their acct balance is a direct correlation to their IQ, so the *must* be smart if they've got this dough.

3. Getting on the phone to their fund mgr means that they are a big shot too, and via their self-annointed brilliance, merely being commanded by them will result in you (lowly fund mgr) magically bringing back even more money.

4. If step 3 doesn't work, the fund mgr must be a retard.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:43 | 1821961 redpill
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Haha well on one hand I sympathize, but on the other hand if you took his money knowing he was a Cramer disciple then you reap what you sow!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:46 | 1821975 Comay Mierda
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just put together a history of cramer's recommendations and the abysmal performance record and send it to the guy.


cramer is the king of pump-n-dump

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:46 | 1821978 bob_dabolina
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I just took a cramer like 20 minutes ago. Stunk up the whole establishment.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:45 | 1821980 sheeple2012
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Back in the dark ages of early Oct. Cramer was telling his trailer-park audience to only consider stocks that pay a 5% dividend... now he's BACK with cow noises, booyah's, bells, sirens etc. -  what a piece of garbage ...

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:46 | 1821984 robberbaron
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anyone know how paulson is doing lately? just wondering since worthless piece of shit companies seem to be the most desirable thing in the universe at the moment

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:51 | 1822328 Mike2756
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probably amzn, up 10 today.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:47 | 1821990 midgetrannyporn
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Honesty and integrity are a liability in his business.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:49 | 1821995 FunkyMonkeyBoy
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Why the f**k didn't he just go short the market with his clients money?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:39 | 1822990 Central Bankster
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With an unsophisticated client like this, shorting the market is about the dumbest thing you can do.  Much smarter to have them wait in cash for opportunities.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:21 | 1823706 Ura Bonehead
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Rule 2111 & Rule 2090

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:49 | 1821997 sodbuster
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You made the right call.

And Cramer is an idiot.

And NO! No! No!  Bear Stearns was NOT fine!!




Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:49 | 1821998 imsaul0968
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I dont know anything about you or your company but I bet you arent as successful as cramer was a a hedge fund manager. He is a flip flopper, no doubt about it but he lets price tell him what to do and is quick to change his mind. I guarantee his record kicks the ass of yours so be careful with bashing people that are retired and rich cause of how good they were at playing this game of fear and greed

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:54 | 1822038 jcaz
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ROFLMAO!   And how's Cramer's fund doing these days?   Oh that's right- he (nod, nod, wink, wink) turned to TV, cause he wanted to help investors like you!

Cramer will impress me the day he admits what REALLY happened to his fund...... At least he hasn't been caught touting again- that was a sweet little scam he had going on, wonder where his buddies are now?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:08 | 1822112 malikai
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MDB, is that you?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:11 | 1822138 sheeple2012
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Is TSCM on the pink sheets yet?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:38 | 1822267 The Axe
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Sad for you I feel....Cramer...

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:14 | 1822682 NotApplicable
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I had to give you 1up for being bold enough to defend Mad Jim here. I can only hope you're trolling, because it would be really sad if you're actually being sincere.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:58 | 1822003 jcaz
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LOL- yep, I send mine the link to Zero hedge when they're yipping, actually-  and I've had them short the last two weeks;  Not one call, thanks!

When Cramer started babbling about his excitement of GDP improving due to non-payment of mortgages, most of mine were able to see him for what he really is.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:50 | 1822007 DavidDavid
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In Feb of 2009, Cramer stated on national TV that investors should get out of the stock market for the next five years.  He sold 100% of his daughter's investment account when the Dow dropped below 7500.  In other words, Cramer sold near the exact bottom.  He told everyone to bail out right near the bottom.  All of this can be verified on YouTube.  I predict the Dow will form a MAJOR top near 13,000.  It will then lose about 50% of its value in 2013 & 2014.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 09:46 | 1824084 DavidC
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Not sure about 13,000 but otherwise agree with you.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:06 | 1822016 Mercury
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This particular crazy client is a different story (and why places like Merrill Lynch were invented) but generally speaking it's often not obvious or explicit how much of any given client's investable capital is under your management.

In other words, let's say if you run a value equity product.  You may be managing most of one client's net worth but only a small portion of another's - and maybe the portion he has specifically designated for that style bucket.  He's already allocated X to bonds and Y to cash and Z to something else. 

Your job as far as he's concerned is to stay all-in (within your universe) at all times.  Raise a bunch of cash at the wrong time (causing benchmark underperformance) and you've got one angry client - especially if he was relying on that one asset class to balance out weaker returns in other sectors/asset classes.

Separate accounts is a high touch business.  Part of the territory.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:51 | 1822017 sheeple2012
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Do they still have that website where a monkey trades vs. cramer and usually wins?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822070 SwingForce
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You rang? Here's the Bank of America clip again: 11/6/2011 $14.50

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:51 | 1822019 lieutenantjohnchard
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over the years i had similar "clients." the best policy from a management perspective was to let the client go, post haste, and concentrate on the best clients, meaning those who believed in the principle of mutually beneficial relationships.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:53 | 1822030 unionbroker
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when my clients want to something stupid i tell them to fuck off and hang up. Being a broker has too much liability to take stupid trades..

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:53 | 1822032 gianakt
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Cramer and some from CNBC will soon be in jail for all the pump and dumping they do!!!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:18 | 1822165 TwelfthVulture
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If any of them were actually licensed, they would have been in jail ages ago.


I remember it must have been like 2000, early 2001, before 9/11, I was literally printing money in names like ASD, LMT, BA and CNBC were still pumping the same five stocks: CSCO, MSFT, DELL, EMC, & ORCL.  Companies that had imploded before my very eyes.  It was then that I decided CNBC was not much better than the Cartoon Network.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:54 | 1822035 DoChenRollingBearing
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I was going to say something about having performance anxiety last night, but, all turned out well.

Kudos to the author for his courage.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:54 | 1822039 yabyum
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He should put all of his eggs in the Cramers basket. He will be drinking mouthwash in six months!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:56 | 1822048 blunderdog
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Hope you sent a used copy of the book.  Value investing and all.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822075 Zola
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Solution is : manage your own money first and then other people's money second like you do yours . If they dont agree FUCK THEM , let them tank on their own

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:04 | 1822090 midgetrannyporn
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It's called "front running" and it's all the rage these days.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822082 GolfHatesMe
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Send the client a link to the Dick Bove upgrades/downgrades.  He just upgraded the squid.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822084 tekhneek
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I made a play portfolio following Cramers suggestions along time ago and was down 46% after 6 months on 100k fake portfolio.

I never listened again.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:05 | 1822094 yabyum
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Playing fantasy portfolio is the only way to follow cramer.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:12 | 1822139 malikai
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That's a gread idea. Maybe I should try out a fantasy Cramer-Fade portfolio. I've had good success fading my TBTF broker advice, but not results like that.

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