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Guest Post: Performance Anxiety

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by South of Wall Street

Performance Anxiety - Thanks Cramer

Performance anxiety can, whether you're honest about it or not, cloud your decisions in this market.  Do you cave to the relative performance derby in order to retain investors?  Its a real issue if you've been on the wrong side of this market or any side for that matter.  The volatility has made investors punch drunk. I'm talking about customers that say flat out: "If you don't get more invested, I'm pulling my account".  How quickly they forget that 2 weeks ago they were of the opposite mindset.

Let me share my story - as I'm sure there are a million like it.  I've been receiving daily calls from an investor for the last 3 months (yes, I should have already fired him).  We've been in 70% cash, which two months ago - in his words - enabled him to sleep at night. Now he can't sleep and is constantly hyperventilating at all the money he is "losing" by being under-invested. Cramer put him over the edge last night, with something to this effect regarding money managers:

Publicly, they’ll stick to their guns and spin negative tales. But privately, they will be forced to buy because they’re so far behind in the market that their investors will demand their money back unless they change direction.

The investor called today to say that we had until the end of the day to be fully invested in his separate account. After hanging up - there I was: make the decision about whether to retain the assets or go against my better judgment and professional opinion.  What's on the line ?  Pride & Fidicuary duty vs. annual management fees.

Congratulations Cramer.  The average investor is listening to you and is about to take it on the chin once again.  Those of us in the real world, who prudently manage other people's money, don't change our stance daily (sometimes intraday) like you do in your nightly poison spew.  We get paid to take a stance and be right more often than wrong... but most importantly...not lose money.  You get paid to sing and dance, and investors get hurt by your cowboy bullshit.

What am I going to do about the investor?

I'm liquidating his account and sending him this book by Howard Marks with a note that says, "You should read this. Good luck."

Now I'm no saint.  I'm just another guy, in the most overpaid industry in the world, trying to make a buck.  If this investor was more than 10% of AUM, I'd be forced to reconsider. And if we had 20 investors with similar demands it would be a difficult call. That's the truth and that's reality.

The point is: please don't listen to Cramer - he really is an idiot.


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Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:38 | 1821920 FOC 1183
FOC 1183's picture

Post of the year

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:12 | 1822140 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Fuck Cramer

CNBC has him on all morning we WANT to see him.

I have to keep all TV's in the office on this shit!

Have to look at his ugly mug on billboard going home on Westside Hwy.

He loves Bear Stearns, Lehman and Dykstra.

Die you fuck!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:27 | 1822204 oogs66
oogs66's picture

At least he does start his show pointing out that he's not just there to entertain you. Tells me that is his primary purpose. He isn't bad at that function. Too bad investors can't understand that

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 16:54 | 1824886 CIABS
CIABS's picture

i'm coming to this thread pretty late, but i think it's worth raising the possibility that cramer is a higher-level operative than many believe him to be.  he worked for a certain firm, and for a certain individual at that firm, ahem, and with his nightly show he's well-placed to influence the public.  i think it's possible that for a number of years he was doing his own thing, but now with the show he might be part of a team and no longer freelancing.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:14 | 1822667 obejoyful
obejoyful's picture

Cramers popularity shows the intelligence of the average investor.  If you need a clown to give you advice then you are not mature enough for this activity. I have two children and the shows they watch on Nick Jr are easier for me to watch than that idiot Cramer.  When the market goes down he will say that he told people to be careful even though the week before he was telling people to buy buy buy.

One day one his sheep will lose all their money and will go looking for him.



Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:46 | 1823006 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

Frankly, this item should run in the WSJ Op-Ed section. Long overdue commentary, regarding this mendacious entertainer.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:39 | 1821925 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:00 | 1822061 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

What only a 10 point S&P range today..? WHAT?  - .. maybe crarmer is about to throw in the hat. i respect the guy for trying but.. he needs to respect himself. 

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1821938 Timmay
Timmay's picture

Managing money is ultimately a no win situation. Creating money on the other hand....

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1821939 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1821944 soopy
soopy's picture

But he's got all these buttons that make cool noises!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:42 | 1821948 Christoph830
Christoph830's picture

Brought tears to my eyes...

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:42 | 1821957 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

"The point is: please don't listen to Cramer - he really is an idiot."

Most of the smartest things ever said.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:02 | 1822375 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

I'm impressed how this so-called investor actually got any money considering he thinks Cramer has a valid opinion (and track record). Investor-boy would've lost his ass 10 times over on "Buying Bear Stearns" or whatever type of foolishness was being hyped that day. 

I suppose the real problem with idiot investors like this is that:

1. They get a lump of money either via inheritance or selling off some family property. The gist is that they didn't make the money, and likely don't have anyway to duplicate such a windfall again.

2. They think that their acct balance is a direct correlation to their IQ, so the *must* be smart if they've got this dough.

3. Getting on the phone to their fund mgr means that they are a big shot too, and via their self-annointed brilliance, merely being commanded by them will result in you (lowly fund mgr) magically bringing back even more money.

4. If step 3 doesn't work, the fund mgr must be a retard.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:43 | 1821961 redpill
redpill's picture

Haha well on one hand I sympathize, but on the other hand if you took his money knowing he was a Cramer disciple then you reap what you sow!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:46 | 1821975 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

just put together a history of cramer's recommendations and the abysmal performance record and send it to the guy.


cramer is the king of pump-n-dump

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:46 | 1821978 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

I just took a cramer like 20 minutes ago. Stunk up the whole establishment.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:45 | 1821980 sheeple2012
sheeple2012's picture

Back in the dark ages of early Oct. Cramer was telling his trailer-park audience to only consider stocks that pay a 5% dividend... now he's BACK with cow noises, booyah's, bells, sirens etc. -  what a piece of garbage ...

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:46 | 1821984 robberbaron
robberbaron's picture

anyone know how paulson is doing lately? just wondering since worthless piece of shit companies seem to be the most desirable thing in the universe at the moment

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:51 | 1822328 Mike2756
Mike2756's picture

probably amzn, up 10 today.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:47 | 1821990 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Honesty and integrity are a liability in his business.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:49 | 1821995 FunkyMonkeyBoy
FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Why the f**k didn't he just go short the market with his clients money?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:39 | 1822990 Central Bankster
Central Bankster's picture

With an unsophisticated client like this, shorting the market is about the dumbest thing you can do.  Much smarter to have them wait in cash for opportunities.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:21 | 1823706 Ura Bonehead
Ura Bonehead's picture

Rule 2111 & Rule 2090

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:49 | 1821997 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

You made the right call.

And Cramer is an idiot.

And NO! No! No!  Bear Stearns was NOT fine!!




Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:49 | 1821998 imsaul0968
imsaul0968's picture

I dont know anything about you or your company but I bet you arent as successful as cramer was a a hedge fund manager. He is a flip flopper, no doubt about it but he lets price tell him what to do and is quick to change his mind. I guarantee his record kicks the ass of yours so be careful with bashing people that are retired and rich cause of how good they were at playing this game of fear and greed

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:54 | 1822038 jcaz
jcaz's picture

ROFLMAO!   And how's Cramer's fund doing these days?   Oh that's right- he (nod, nod, wink, wink) turned to TV, cause he wanted to help investors like you!

Cramer will impress me the day he admits what REALLY happened to his fund...... At least he hasn't been caught touting again- that was a sweet little scam he had going on, wonder where his buddies are now?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:08 | 1822112 malikai
malikai's picture

MDB, is that you?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:11 | 1822138 sheeple2012
sheeple2012's picture

Is TSCM on the pink sheets yet?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:38 | 1822267 The Axe
The Axe's picture

Sad for you I feel....Cramer...

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:14 | 1822682 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


I had to give you 1up for being bold enough to defend Mad Jim here. I can only hope you're trolling, because it would be really sad if you're actually being sincere.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:58 | 1822003 jcaz
jcaz's picture

LOL- yep, I send mine the link to Zero hedge when they're yipping, actually-  and I've had them short the last two weeks;  Not one call, thanks!

When Cramer started babbling about his excitement of GDP improving due to non-payment of mortgages, most of mine were able to see him for what he really is.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:50 | 1822007 DavidDavid
DavidDavid's picture

In Feb of 2009, Cramer stated on national TV that investors should get out of the stock market for the next five years.  He sold 100% of his daughter's investment account when the Dow dropped below 7500.  In other words, Cramer sold near the exact bottom.  He told everyone to bail out right near the bottom.  All of this can be verified on YouTube.  I predict the Dow will form a MAJOR top near 13,000.  It will then lose about 50% of its value in 2013 & 2014.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 09:46 | 1824084 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Not sure about 13,000 but otherwise agree with you.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:06 | 1822016 Mercury
Mercury's picture

This particular crazy client is a different story (and why places like Merrill Lynch were invented) but generally speaking it's often not obvious or explicit how much of any given client's investable capital is under your management.

In other words, let's say if you run a value equity product.  You may be managing most of one client's net worth but only a small portion of another's - and maybe the portion he has specifically designated for that style bucket.  He's already allocated X to bonds and Y to cash and Z to something else. 

Your job as far as he's concerned is to stay all-in (within your universe) at all times.  Raise a bunch of cash at the wrong time (causing benchmark underperformance) and you've got one angry client - especially if he was relying on that one asset class to balance out weaker returns in other sectors/asset classes.

Separate accounts is a high touch business.  Part of the territory.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:51 | 1822017 sheeple2012
sheeple2012's picture

Do they still have that website where a monkey trades vs. cramer and usually wins?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822070 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

You rang? Here's the Bank of America clip again: 11/6/2011 $14.50

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:51 | 1822019 lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

over the years i had similar "clients." the best policy from a management perspective was to let the client go, post haste, and concentrate on the best clients, meaning those who believed in the principle of mutually beneficial relationships.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:53 | 1822030 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

when my clients want to something stupid i tell them to fuck off and hang up. Being a broker has too much liability to take stupid trades..

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:53 | 1822032 gianakt
gianakt's picture

Cramer and some from CNBC will soon be in jail for all the pump and dumping they do!!!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:18 | 1822165 TwelfthVulture
TwelfthVulture's picture

If any of them were actually licensed, they would have been in jail ages ago.


I remember it must have been like 2000, early 2001, before 9/11, I was literally printing money in names like ASD, LMT, BA and CNBC were still pumping the same five stocks: CSCO, MSFT, DELL, EMC, & ORCL.  Companies that had imploded before my very eyes.  It was then that I decided CNBC was not much better than the Cartoon Network.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:54 | 1822035 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I was going to say something about having performance anxiety last night, but, all turned out well.

Kudos to the author for his courage.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:54 | 1822039 yabyum
yabyum's picture

He should put all of his eggs in the Cramers basket. He will be drinking mouthwash in six months!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 14:56 | 1822048 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Hope you sent a used copy of the book.  Value investing and all.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822075 Zola
Zola's picture

Solution is : manage your own money first and then other people's money second like you do yours . If they dont agree FUCK THEM , let them tank on their own

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:04 | 1822090 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

It's called "front running" and it's all the rage these days.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822082 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Send the client a link to the Dick Bove upgrades/downgrades.  He just upgraded the squid.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:02 | 1822084 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

I made a play portfolio following Cramers suggestions along time ago and was down 46% after 6 months on 100k fake portfolio.

I never listened again.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:05 | 1822094 yabyum
yabyum's picture

Playing fantasy portfolio is the only way to follow cramer.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:12 | 1822139 malikai
malikai's picture

That's a gread idea. Maybe I should try out a fantasy Cramer-Fade portfolio. I've had good success fading my TBTF broker advice, but not results like that.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:21 | 1822178 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

I feel for ya. My mother has a small simple IRA, ( 10k ish) from 2001. The Total amount invested was well over 20K, and I recently found out about it. The thing has been trolloped through a mirade of mergers.  I disposed of the account and reballanced the remaining ponzi funds. It is now at break even!  When you factor inflation/exchange rates, ect...  She got hosed and I am thankfull I manage my own investments, and my mothers.

  When I fly back over to HK next week, at least I will know my Mother is safe!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 19:51 | 1823184 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

hi, y/c's mom!


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:06 | 1822100 Chasecran
Chasecran's picture

"Career Risk," Jeremy Grantham's theory on the whole thing.  If you don't read his quarterly letter, do. Good stuff

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:08 | 1822120 sabra1
Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:09 | 1822121 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Bottom in U.S. Steel is in.

Biggest volume days in history.

Earnings are out, stock got slammed, now trading higher than pre-earnings levels with the two biggest volume days in the stock's history.

Lows are in on many cyclical stocks.

Bears need to stand aside.

GDX kicking butt today, another sign that the Dow is heading to 15,000 next year.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:30 | 1822219 The Axe
The Axe's picture

Ok....let me get this  Fitch downgrades it debt to negative,,,sees a 1 billion hit to free cash flow  on a 4 billion dollar market cap stock.....and you want to own it....ok

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:33 | 1822242 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

I just want to let you know that you're the best contrarian indicator ever.

Much appreciated.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:42 | 1822288 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

you know what robo?'s one thing to be a troll, it's another to be one that is so transparent and idiotic that it makes watching a train wreck a logical alternative.

If you aspire to be a troll that, at a minimum, provokes introspective thoughts in people with opposite views, then perhaps a bit of intelligent macro forethought based on reality would be prudent.

Frankly, having seen many of your posts, I firmly believe my logic is your kryptonite.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:44 | 1822123 Manthong
Manthong's picture

What are those fully invested sheeple going to do when they learn about how Obama's team juiced the market in a vain attempt to keep appearances up and led them to slaughter?

Oh, I know.. they'll go baa.. baa..

Maybe the PPT has more to worry about from baleful bears with burnt butts.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:18 | 1822158 jm
jm's picture

Sorry in advance for any ruffled feathers.

You may not be communicating well enough with your client.  Most clients have clear expectations that you need to respect.  They want to you to work hard to find opportunity and they want reasonably safe return.  This means buy cheap and sell rich.  This is your job.  There was plenty of cheap equities a month ago.

A client has every right to question your judgement if you sat on a pile of cash after seeing this run-up.  You aren't paid to sit on a pile of cash.  I don't if that is what you are doing, just saying as an example. You are paid to achieve a better return than 100% cash.

Telling clients to eat a crap sandwich when they question you may put you out of business.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:28 | 1822205 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

in the brokerage business the client is always right and the broker is always wrong i do as many courses in protecting my self from clients lawsuits as i do on courses to upgrade my knowledge

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:40 | 1822268 jm
jm's picture

I understand.  I'm not accusing anybody of any wrong-doing.  In fact, other investment vehicles have lock-down rules to keep AUM intact.

Just saying nobody is right all the time and it is always good to get some criticism when things aren't right.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:17 | 1822162 peekcrackers
peekcrackers's picture

Cramer the flamer cant get any lamer

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:20 | 1822175 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

F'ing-A buddy!!




Fri, 10/28/2011 - 19:51 | 1823186 peekcrackers
peekcrackers's picture

some day soon we will see a Jim Cramer stock investment stand at wallmart.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:25 | 1822198 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Do you really watch the television and believe anything you see?   If you do, your mind is unhinged, and you are begging to be entertained by something that exists to sell you what you do not need. ever.  There are no advertisements for useful products, and there is no restriction or requirement for anything to be true. ever.  There is no live programming, because it is always behind a machine that delays it so that it can be edited. There is no programming that is not edited. There is no one that is not reading lines written for them by someone else.  There is a law that all these people have to get paid to appear. Everyone that appears is paid to say what the party that hired them wants them to say. The people in news are hired because they don't ask questions or understand what they read, or are told to read by someone in a control room.  If you watch a TV show about money,  it is sponsored by people that want to make money off of you, and don't have to care how they do it, because they wrote the laws saying they could lie about anything.  They don't let real people appear on live TV because they can't be controlled to deliver the desired message.

If you want to see when the last actual independent television station existed, look back to CNN in it's first year and watch how it changed. It is a sickening joke to think you get news from companies that have no reason, desire or requirement to give you anything except entertainment.

If it is broadcast, it is bullshit.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:19 | 1822713 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Thanks a lot. You've just totally ruined Jersey Shore for me now.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:48 | 1823015 mitchrothschild
mitchrothschild's picture

dear pirahana - 100% correct.  the tv only exists for the advertising to get you to buy things you don't need with money you don't have.  the 'content' is centered around those adverts.  if you need something - you'll find it and you'll buy it regardless of the television.  infact - it appears to me that the more they advertise something the less you probably actually 'need' it.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:29 | 1822214 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

 Cramer is a sick man, have pity on him.

 But kudos to the folks that kicked him out of that hedge fund he would have surely blown up years ago.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:49 | 1823020 mitchrothschild
mitchrothschild's picture

and back in the day before goldman bled their clients to death - he got kicked out of there also.  that's bad.  think about it.  too rabid for goldman.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:32 | 1822235 tnfcfa
tnfcfa's picture

Fabulous post from the real world where performance gets measured rather than re-TIVO'd nightly.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:33 | 1822244 Belarus
Belarus's picture

I hope the market flash crashes once he's fully invested. 

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:35 | 1822252 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

DECK up 10%, new world record highs

$15 to $115 in 3 years.

Consumer stocks still leading

In fact, most of the new 52-week highs list is populated by consumer growth names like PNRA, DECK, etc.

Anyone shorting the market with this type of strength is cruising for more bruising.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:40 | 1822275 Belarus
Belarus's picture

What bothers me with people is they don't hae a clue as to what a money manager has to worry about: which is really one of two things over the long haul: either debts will be inflated away and cause an ultimate crash in currencies or the world will do the right thing as many smart people think will happen--Prem Watsa, Kyle Bass, Hugh Hendry, etc--and the world will be forced to restructure it's debts (hard deflation) as the debts collapse on their own weight.

And the reality is no one fucking knows. And until one gets the data points for which direction we truly go, being prudent and conserative is really the only thing a money manager should do. But most people are living in a world right now--a window where all are bad habits for 40 years haven't caught up to us for the moment--where Unicorns really do shit skitttles.

It's an impossible conundrum. 



Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:40 | 1822279 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

I think you did the right thing.  You should have sent him a note and told him to Buy all of Cramers recomodation and Short all of Cramers Sells.  Let him manage his Money with Cramer recomondations.

At the end of a few weeks he will not have any Money left. 

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 15:45 | 1822304 gringo28
gringo28's picture

Yes, fuck Cramer, but fuck you too. You are granted the privilege of managing investors' money because supposedly you are smart enough to spot value. Soooooo, two weeks ago, heck, two months ago, value was starting to become really obvious. If you weren't investing over the last two weeks, you don't deserve to be managing OPM.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:15 | 1823448 Cameli
Cameli's picture

Hahaha...please tell me you are at the wind-up.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 09:00 | 1824047 jm
jm's picture

Three junks for the truth.  Ridiculous.

People treat OPM like it is nothing.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:01 | 1822367 Hannibal
Hannibal's picture

I am sticking with and stacking physical silver, no counter risk and I sleep well. Fuck Kramer and his pinhead buddies.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 21:33 | 1823352 Libertarians fo...
Libertarians for Prosperity's picture



Sleep well?  Are you kidding?

I'd be extremely nervous if I were you.  Silver stayed in a small range under $10 for about 20 years.  Now, suddenly, its gone parabolic and has crashed >30% twice in the past 6 months.  Doesn't sound comforting to me....

This parabolic/crash 'n burn cycle is nothing new to the silver market. It did the EXACT same thing in the late 70's and early 80's.... stayed in a long-term tight range, then went parabolic, then crashed back to >$10, where it stayed for 20+ years.

To be honest, I can't think of a worst investment if you're trying to sleep well at night. One of the most wildly volatile places to park your money that I could possible imagine.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:12 | 1822413 Below Zero
Below Zero's picture

What kind of fool stayed 70% in cash during this major rally? Your client will be better off now without your help and so will you. No one needs daily calls to tell them how fucked up they are as a money manager. You already know that. The good news is that someone will do exactly what your client asked of you, the client will get what he justly deserves and you will avoid the lawsuit that follows. Cramer......he da man!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:18 | 1822446 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

unless you buy and sell daily, and have a super computer, and understand this market, you dont have a chance.  That basically means, wall street is not for investors.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:21 | 1823459 Cameli
Cameli's picture

No no....BZ is exactly the kind of "investor" they are looking for.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:16 | 1822433 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

lets see in 2000, 11 years ago, I invested in gold which was around 300, its now 1600. Thats over a 500% return.  If I invested in a dow index fund I would of made umm NOTHING in 11 years.

So yeah lets all play day trader,  SPOILER alert, for those who chase, its ends badly.


Its a rigged casino, like walking into a rigged mafia basement casino, unless you know someone or are a made man, you are just a mark.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:31 | 1822489 Boston Wealth
Boston Wealth's picture

Who needs clients when you can do it on your own!

My clients used to ask me, “Ben if you are so good trading, why do you need us?” I don’t!


123% return v. 2% for S&P 500!
Fri, 10/28/2011 - 16:55 | 1822586 MiningJunkie
MiningJunkie's picture

How on earth could an investment "professional" have 70% of a client's cash in exactly that - CASH - with Central Banks on a Zimbawe-esque monetization binge and with the vast majority all on the sidelines in September as evidenced by the 26%-32% bullish concensus all through that period and a 2b share increase in short interest? He gets paid 2 and 20 to manage cash rotting idle while the bankers debase the currency. Don't blame Cramer - your client is fortunate to be getting his money back so he can buy some hard assets and save himself the 2 ans 20.

Never underestimate the replacement power of equities within a Weimar Republic environment.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 21:50 | 1823240 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

he doesn't say how long he's been in 70% cash and what the other 30% is, but he does tell us his client was sleeping great 2 months ago

now, he is not in the camp which is saying:  "BUY! the bottom is in!"

but, his client is

so they split the sheets

your comments are good, i think, M_J, and you may have called this one better than he did, and "made more money in the market, %-wise" but risk/reward perceptions are not all the same, and this manager choose not to gamble with their "ultra high family net worth" at this point, probably for good reasons, altho not ones which "the market" as it now functions, would respect

the R2K (russell 2000 index) was @ 600 a coupla weeks ago, and is now 758, so that's +25% right there, after the giant dip

his link says his outfit works out of alabama and their trade is: "Our group runs several strategies for Ultra High New Worth Family Groups."

following cramer's advice is not one of the strategies

imagine that!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:06 | 1822639 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Good on ya Mate. Make room for the customer that fits. That one should have been let go a while ago. But you're learning.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:14 | 1822687 kevinearick
kevinearick's picture

"Currency Traders Suffering Worst Year Since 1991”



So, I left you hanging with the hash table…

Think of the stack as a string of strings, each with a virtual/dynamic string to every other string. Everything is related to everything. Each string may always compute the address of every other string, through algebraic reduction(though it is seldom necessary), because, fundamentally, they are all the same string.

The only difference between strings is relativity, circulation of time/space, through the addition and subtraction of false assumptions (delay mechanisms), forming what appears to be an orbiting order, depending upon the perceiving string. Order is a false assumption, which creates delay.

So long as you net 0, you can separate strings to create any charge orbit, event horizon, you want, but removing one or more event horizons must balance the transformation.

Control is simple replication, automatically triggering algebraic reduction, which is why its resources are ever more efficiently reduced into implosion. All the proprietors have to do is net out debt, but then the curtain comes down, with no exit, so they delay, as volume shrinks and the environment automatically increases pressure. Time accelerates.

As provided, they have now brought out the same reorganized rumor so many times that there is no news, and the human bots shoveling out the news are locked into the bot algorithms driving the market, so the central banks cannot keep up with the increasing torque of the black hole. They cannot get back out in front of the parade without a little help.

Someone has to do the work and the manufactured majority is little more than a Peanuts gallery, which is bred to accept only replication as input, which then becomes the output, with all kinds of make-work sandwiched in between. Because they travel around a self-fulfilling prophesy, that’s all they understand.

They import ever cheaper disposable products, living ever more disposable lives, subsidized by ever cheaper slaves across the planet, and then moan and groan when they become disposable, constantly throwing away better in return for worse, relative to environmental demand, which expects greater diversity (When in doubt, reduce to the bipolar and choose based on the weather).

The result is like the friction heat of a virus reproducing in a petri dish. Pretty soon, the membranes (event horizons) explode, and because the proprietors have maximized efficiency across the global IC chip, in a mutually assured destruction design, they cannot unlock the reaction from within prisoners dilemma. But it is only their bred-in psychology locking them up.

The timing, location and strength of the cognitive ignition threshold will determine propulsion, because they have turned all the other variables in the combination lock into relative constants, through their own algebraic reduction. Where do you want to go, what kind of community education do you want, and to what end?

The strings are all already connected. The firing order depends upon the design perception, which must net all remaining event horizons out to 0 when you place them back on the stack. The greater the deviation, the longer it takes to recycle the products into their respective orbits. You can balance both sides of the fulcrum, the implosion and the new event horizon contact sets, or the fulcrum of fulcrums will do it for you.

You have one remaining “problem.” You cannot connect to the outermost horizon without proof of intent. That’s the nature of the semi-neutral middle class. Because the proprietors employed the gifted technology against the gifters, they will lose at least two event horizons, depending upon new community development. The process doesn’t change from their perspective.

Safeguard your own families, whether you believe in marriage or not, from the tyranny of the manufactured majority, socialism. The majority always seeks to simplify the everything to everything relationship, in a way it “thinks” will divert all energy to itself, with self-destructive hoarding, resulting in the false assumption of crony capitalism, scarce resources. Energy is a delayed perception.

You have a stack, which is a hash table, which is a virtual everything to everything relationship, which is a perception delay, which is 1/0 – bipolar, +/- infinity, depending upon the perceptions you care to share, which depends upon whether you want to be a bot or anti-bot, or whether you wish to seek/expand the unknown horizon. Design accordingly.

Enterprise architects give the corporations exactly what they want, psychographic anxiety control, without ruling out the future by embedding the AC into the DC, through productive time delay reconciliation. You might keep that in mind as you configure. A school of fish changes leadership with a frequency dependent upon the environment, resulting in symptoms across the event horizon timeline.

A little chaos, backlash effectively implemented, goes a long, long way to toward trapping the shark in prisoners dilemma. It will swim, die, or struggle, serving a purpose. Once you write the code for the hash table and test it on the equipment over time, you will see why the nuclear family is so important to looking glass operation.

Money as debt is a prisoners dilemma game, liquidating an economy of one quality product into two broken toys. Of course the proprietors/issuers want as much as possible in circulation, with as many levers as possible. Double-minded people are miserable and they love company, which is why the looking glass is a double-sided mirror, to give them what they want. The strait is there; stay between the lines.

Multiply the nature of social clicks you remember in HS by a thousand and you have the Fed, the ultimate make-work jobs program. The state of the economy on/off depends upon how often the lead fish throws the shark a bone. Jesus, humility, is the way, but he got caught being prideful and became Job. That’ll happen; just continue. The YMCA is run by feminists for a reason.

Prisoners Dilemma is the Golden Rule. PM is a temporary transition buffer. Stay in front of the curve. If you place them in a position to take advantage, they can’t help themselves. Use that to your advantage.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:17 | 1822700 Sneeze
Sneeze's picture

I am surprised people still pay to have some guy place $10k bet's for them on red. 

You must be pretty good to be able to fire clients... what hedge fund do you run again?

I wonder what its like to be in an industry going the way of the Dodo bird.  People are entirely capable of loosing all their money on their own, why pay a guy with a MBA to do it for you?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 17:49 | 1822812 Zola
Zola's picture

For the wannabe investors out there, when inflation goes up hard, (YOY CPI) , equities go DOWN to FLAT - CHECK OUT THE FACT BEFORE TALKING NONSENSE. Only in VERY HIGH/HYPERINFLATION will equities rise in nominal but you will get crushed in real terms (reason is bond yields will rise and pressure equities). In the current situation if the FED keeps trying to inflate and suppress interest rates (so far so good but cracks are appearing) equities will probably flatline between 1200 to 1400 - ranged and you will get crushed in real terms anyways. Equities are for suckers.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:24 | 1822942 devo
devo's picture

You should have invested all this client's money in Netflix @ 300 and said, "sorry, but Cramer said it was a buy."

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 18:41 | 1822997 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

Anyone seriously considering investment advice from Cramer deserves it.  Why, oh fuck, why would you listen to (even worse, heed the advice of) a hyperactive man-boy whose main attraction is a fisher price for 'adults' soundboard that would make any child with the cow-goes-moo toy jealous?  Is it just me or can the US' collective intelligence be observed by this dumbass' day to day air time?  Honestly, why would you voluntarily get screamed at?


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 21:59 | 1823412 catch edge ghost
catch edge ghost's picture

It is surrender. Nothing more or less.  Will the roses make a better soup than the cabbage?  Oh wait, do Bears even eat soup?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:02 | 1823580 Grand Supercycle
Grand Supercycle's picture

DAX monthly chart at blog shows recent bullish candle revealing aggressive short covering rally enclosed within big picture bearish pattern.

Bullish USD weekly/monthly and bearish SP500/DOW monthly charts will eventually ensure reversal of equity uptrend.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:15 | 1823601 Georgesblog
Georgesblog's picture

There are gamblers and then there are desperate gamblers.  n any case, the deck is stacked against all of them. Yet, they charge in, hoping that the tide of fortune turns their way, purely by force. In this debt manipulation, an ambush is certain.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:50 | 1823747 Ura Bonehead
Ura Bonehead's picture

Right there with ya, pal.  The old saying is, 'there are a lot more bad clients then there are bad managers.'

Nothing against Cramer - I respect him for what he is: Entertainment.  Whenever someone wants to ask my opinion about a Cramer/CNBC idea I tell them that I'm putting together a tracking basket of all those great ideas and they should put all their money in it.  Jaws drop as I get that, 'Are you crazy?' look.  I then tell them, "Now you know my opinion."

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 08:55 | 1824039 FutureShock
FutureShock's picture

Eveyone's best interest is to survive. Cramer needs people to STAY IN THE GAME cause he has a show, an income, and ego etc. If people invest they might watch his show, if they give up he looses.  He is does what everyone does which is what is in thier best interest. When we watch a video of Chris Martenson makeing perfect sense to me I still have to think "He sells Gold" Can I trust that, Peter Schiff sells gold. Do they have enough, they need cash, why. Don't they think they are loosing money buy selling gold for cash?

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 10:50 | 1824138 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

Frankly, Im amazed no one has killed James Cramer. He has harmed more elders than Hitler, Stalin, and Bin Laden combined. I'd like to see him dead.

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