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Guest Post: Poor Thieves Go To Jail, Rich Thieves Don’t

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by John Aziz of Azizonomics,

This is more surreal than Barack “I’ll Bomb Ya” Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize.

From the Mail:

A bank clerk who dreamed of becoming a model stole £46,000 from the tills — and spent it on plastic surgery and shopping sprees.

 

Rachael Claire Martin, 24, used the cash to fund a boob job, dental work and liposuction, as well as hair extensions and nights out.

 

She took thousands at a time from her Barclays branch in Liskeard, Cornwall, in an eight-week period.

 

Martin initially denied 25 counts of theft in 2010.

 

But on what should have been the first day of a week-long trial, she admitted a single charge of theft covering the full amount of £46,000.

Steal thousands from a bank? You face criminal charges, a trial and jail time.

When that same bank manipulates a $600 trillion market by rigging the LIBOR rate for profit? No criminal charges, no trial, no jail time.

In a better world people who rob a company engaged in a manipulative criminal enterprise like LIBOR-rigging would not face criminal charges. There is a case that this girl should be treated as a hero. In stealing the money, she was just getting back a tiny fraction of the money that Barclays stole by rigging LIBOR. And by spending the money at least she gave the money back to the public instead of stashing it away in the Cayman Islands.

I hope she achieves her dream of becoming a model. And I hope the LIBOR-riggers spend a very long time in jail — but in reality there’s not much chance of that.

 

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Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:53 | 2630478 Nick the Greek
Nick the Greek's picture

Hubba hubba

 

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:55 | 2630487 Aziz
Aziz's picture

The best thing about the pic (I didn't realise it 'til just now) is you can see her landing strip.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:05 | 2630509 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to office." - Aesop

I could deal with a few million more well endowed Robin Hoods.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:34 | 2630587 Ray1968
Ray1968's picture

I found that picture really easy to masturbate to.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:54 | 2630625 Element
Element's picture

lol ... censorship on zh is getting out of hand ... jus sayin

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:40 | 2630722 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

What's up with the black bar?

Thank God it isn't a picture of Jon Corzine with his shirt off tied up like that!  I am waiting for the Corzine waterboarding video when some former MF Global clients catch up with him.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:00 | 2630761 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

why didnt she spend a few bucks on the eyebrows? jus saying...

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:12 | 2630772 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

poor thing. that mutilated, over-blown, whore like pose is what she was gunnign for? With 46,000 pounds?

And people are turned on? Good grief.

Much....errrr....bigger things to worry about that making another failed human a hero, or anti-heroine or whatever category she falls into.

ori

war-inc

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:32 | 2630797 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

I'd tap that !

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:07 | 2630837 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

Alright, who's the fucktard that down arrowed me?

Seriously, I think she has potential. Jamie Diamond's job might not be so secure after all...

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:03 | 2630873 Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar's picture

I greened you for the first, junked you for the second.  The first was a brilliant rebuttal to Ori telling us what should make our dicks hard.  The junk is for getting Mr. D's name wrong and for being a stupid comment.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 03:13 | 2630912 Precious
Precious's picture

The Secret Service Agency is requesting her number.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 05:35 | 2630982 Western
Western's picture

She looks like Skrillex

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:24 | 2631744 Marty Rothbard
Marty Rothbard's picture

Based on this, presumably pre op photo, the poor girl did need work.  Personally I think the money is better spent here, than on beautifying some bank president's Tuscan Mansion.  The result was actually, quite positive.

I was unable to find an uncensored version of the "stretch" photo.  For a proper masturbatory image, mentally merge the two versions.  I particularly enjoy the surprised, wide eyed look in the covered boob version, and was disappointed, that she was reclining, rather than standing, since I believe that would have better displayed the spoils of her crime.  Perhaps she was showing off her insertion scars.  I always preferred the under the nipple, and under the armpit techniques.  I guess she didn't steal enough for some electrolysis, around the navel. or perhaps navel hair is sexy is considered sexy these days, in Cornwall.

 

Here's another eyeless image, through the looking glass style.  It's a pity, the surgeon couldn't decrease the eccentricity of her aureola.  I've always found elliptical nipples unattractive.  The circle is perfection, in so many things.

 

 

 

One last boob shot.  Once again no money for electrolysis.  I think she looks a bit haggard, in this one.  Perhaps not sleeping well, because of a guilty conscience?  If so, it's just as well she lost her job.  You can't be a successful banker with any sort of  conscience.

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:26 | 2631754 Marty Rothbard
Marty Rothbard's picture

Guess you guys miss out on the photos I found.

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 11:12 | 2632051 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 ...Alright, who's the fucktard that down arrowed me?

Whining about down arrows gets you nowhere on The Hedge. You should know that by now.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:04 | 2630830 Golden Balls
Golden Balls's picture

The eyebrows were an extra $5000...funny a Brit spending on thier teeth, she must French.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 03:23 | 2630921 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Quite the telling commentary that the majority of comments on this story are on almost all about the woman's appearance, and not on the actual story, which is the different results for criminal behaviour based upon whether you are 'rich' or 'poor'.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 07:29 | 2631073 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

This is because the dearth of ANY of these fucking asshole bankers (read: criminal motherfuckers) getting arrested, going on trial, and  - God forbid - going to prison for their numerous crimes against the people of the world leave us to comment on this womans' marginal looks, her "monolithed-out" augmented breastages, and her uni-brow.

Which is a sad state of affairs......

Until I see anyone paying for these crimes, I believe comments like will continue.

The sheeple public's lack of knowledge of finance is why these fucktards are getting away with all this - and posters on here know it ...........but can do little about educating them.

I've tried; like teaching Gump Physics. The "forced ignorance" of the public is frightening.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 08:02 | 2631121 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

Waddya expect, ZH is a bastion of immature male hormone sufferers.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 11:14 | 2632068 BigJim
BigJim's picture

We discuss financial malfeasance in excruciating detail here, day in, day out. A bit of titty appreciation ain't gonna do no harm once in a blue moon.

The bigger question is: why are so few ZHers female? This is a serious problem, because they get to vote too.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 02:33 | 2634984 Element
Element's picture

Let me guess, you're a fag?

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:04 | 2630831 Golden Balls
Golden Balls's picture

The eyebrows were an extra $5000...funny a Brit spending on thier teeth, she must French.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:02 | 2630763 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

'There is a case that this girl should be treated as a hero.'

Really. So maybe we would be better off if we just let them all go eh? Oh wait, that's what happened in the run up to the French Revolution, when the economy collapsed because no one had any capital because no one could get paid because NO ONE SHOT THE MOB that simply demanded everything for free because they were hard done by and fucking 'deserved' it...

and that worked out just fine didn't it...

Be careful what you wish for.

 

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:07 | 2630838 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Not quite what you are looking for...but some damn fine reporting.

http://www.larevistadecirugiaestetica.com/2012/07/rachael-claire-martin-sustrae-dinero.html

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:04 | 2630643 JustAnotherHack
JustAnotherHack's picture

Hilarious

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:18 | 2630777 Bunker Boy
Bunker Boy's picture

She took money she didn't own to inflate her frontal economy. NEWSFLASH: She won't go to jail, because she learned that trick from her father. Her real name: Claire Bernanke. Libor=liposuction from the people. Hey, if we at least get a better blowjob from it, its an improvement.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 05:22 | 2630972 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Lezbo jail scene qualified. I'm sure Larry Flynt is already slobbering like Jabba the Hut and is figuring out how he is going to land her. She may be a cougar by the time she gets out though....but whose complaining.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 06:51 | 2631031 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

 

you might consider changing your name to Jackoff or the like

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:53 | 2630623 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

"Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that numbers of people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of the leaders of their government and have gone to war, and millions have been killed because of this obedience. . . Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem."
—Howard Zinn

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:24 | 2630693 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

I'm tired of fake tits, fake women and a fake government with fake bankers.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:43 | 2630896 seek
seek's picture

You forgot the most important thing... fake money.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 09:07 | 2631360 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

They're real on the outside, that's good enough for me.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 03:10 | 2630899 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

This is some funny shit.

Criminal Cramer on Wednesday with Preet Bharara, U.S. Attorney for Southern New York at CNBC's Alpha conference in front of an audience of hedge funds.

"I Just Want To Apologize In Advance That I Don't Have Enough Subpoenas For All Of You..."

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 03:59 | 2630940 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Both this girl and the bankers need jailing but not in the same cell. The bankers need to be paired with some 300 pound gorilla who has unresolved sexual problems.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:08 | 2630517 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

That's a penis, and a nobel attempt at the "tuck under belt" trick, and you can see the scars under her tits.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:20 | 2630552 Aziz
Aziz's picture

You sir, have been watching too much tranny porn.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:21 | 2630553 MARGINKARLANDTH...
MARGINKARLANDTHEBROKEBITCHEZ's picture

HES THINKING WITH THE WRONG HEAD.  HOTKARL IS THINKING WITH BOBS PENIS.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:32 | 2630569 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"A bank clerk who dreamed of becoming a model stole £46,000 from the tills — and spent it on plastic surgery and shopping sprees."

what the fuck happened to the English?

they seem to be turning into Californians en masse...

or ignorantly fullfiling Huxley's dark vision of england's dystopian future....

"Every one says I'm awfully pneumatic," said Lenina reflectively, patting her own legs. - Aldous Huxley - Brave New World

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 08:49 | 2630727 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Bob, do you work for the SEC?  Let me guess you are in the investigation division?

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:51 | 2630741 flacon
flacon's picture

This famous quote is the world we live in right now. Debt servitude of course is what he was thinking - because there is a reward to the debtor (a home, car, nice life etc) minus the interest payments (servitude) derived by a fractional reserve banking system where Aldous Huxley banker benefits at every one else's expense:

 

“A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive of political bosses and their army of managers control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.” 
Aldous HuxleyBrave New World

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:24 | 2630691 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Shit.  I knew it was just a matter of time before I was reading about Bob's penis on a ZH post.  You're out of hand you know, but I love you all dearly <3

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:52 | 2630820 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

99% of the people on Zerohedge Chat are  2 bit TROLLS. They NEVER engage in serious discussion about the real issues.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:51 | 2630905 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

They are US citizens.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 04:03 | 2630942 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

YEEEEEAH, baby! WoooOOOOOOOOOOOOH! USA! USA! Whoa!

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:10 | 2631655 odatruf
odatruf's picture

AnAnon - most of the time I ignore your cut and paste screed about "US Citizenism", whatever that is.  But since this was at least typed out differently, what are you on about?

WTF are you trying to say?

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:26 | 2630567 The They
The They's picture

...Or paid for too many high-end pros.  Either way, i wouldn't have noticed the scars if it wasn't for the comment.  I wish we lived in a society that didn't push women to think that the only way to be atractive was to get plastic surgery, boob jobs etc.  I'm sure she was gorgeous before any of that anyway.  To bad she didn't just steal the money and spend it on gold and silver instead...

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:02 | 2630638 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Most of a woman's behavior involves manipulating men.

Men aren't much better when it comes to women.

 

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:52 | 2630748 flacon
flacon's picture

Shariah law forbids bras... you see a perky tit under a burka you know it's real! 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:08 | 2630839 Golden Balls
Golden Balls's picture

Yeah, real hairy!

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:33 | 2630582 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I know you can, but she's really hot. 

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:39 | 2630720 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Hot?

she looks like a shallow Hobbit with trout lips packing plastic=dumbsex.

Do you also like those plastic blow-up orifice dolls?

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:32 | 2630794 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Thanks Bananamerican. She makes me sad. She does not have model potential, and honestly that is okay. 

At least she had reasoning that most of us could understand. In this culture, women are told that is where their power is. It looked like a way to better things.

What was Lloyd and Jamie's excuse? They weren't making enough money? They did not have enough power? Jail is too good for them. 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:07 | 2630829 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

like Flacon quoted above "A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive ...control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.”

That goes to the sex scam perpetrated on american little girls for the last 15 years...

"Be like Brittany, be like Christina! Be a whore. It's not degrading! Be an Orifice! It's Empowering™!!

That dumb English girl STOLE to participate in her own Objectification and to fullfill another debased global Marketing con. The Empowered Whore™

Those "boobs" are as emblematic of our Empty bullshit times as Tats and the last 12 years of amerikan political/financial "leadership"

We are so numbed to our own existence that we reach out for the "Transgressive™" to feel SOMETHING....to feel ANYTHING

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:13 | 2630845 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Masculinity is DEAD. Femininity is DEAD.

Pimps and Ho's baby. That and a Webcam is the future it seems...

Well said all around BananaAm and Ms.C. Sad state of Affairs.

ori

death-of-shame-death-of-nobility

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:25 | 2630851 Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar's picture

Masculinity is DEAD. Femininity is DEAD.

Get into the topic of sex and gender roles buddy and you are entering a house of mirrors, where somebody is going to be there at every turn waiting for you and it's going to end with you showing your insecurities to all.

Better to stick with comments re: $ or macro-trends, O-dog.  No one needs to hear about your sexual hangups.  LOL

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 03:05 | 2630910 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Vic, I like you in-spite of who you are.

Carry on commenting on whatever you feel called to comment on. No one is judgng you. 

Anyway the best one can do is judge your avaatar, which is a woman.

Hmmm...

ori

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 07:50 | 2631107 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

As in fishing, the kind of bait you use will help determine the kind of fish you catch.  Further, some fish (in particular, the bottom feeders) will hit on anything.  Pathetic really.   She is the female embodiment of Jamie Dimon.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:47 | 2630608 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Dude, you don't want to land there.
Her tattoo budget must be through the roof.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 09:03 | 2631344 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Landing strip?

I like to refer to it as a "treasure trail"

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 09:23 | 2631454 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Pussy Mohawk.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:29 | 2630576 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

$600 trillion will buy a lot of nice tits...

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:45 | 2630734 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

a lot of fembots too!

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:17 | 2630677 Tarheel
Tarheel's picture

fuck the OWS hippies, rapists, convicts and Libtards

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:40 | 2630724 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

no, Fuck YOU, Lloyd B.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:04 | 2630880 cpzimmon
cpzimmon's picture

Hey nick, why'd you get the down arrows? Some kind of negitive code in Hubba hubba?

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 06:13 | 2631004 Strange-Currencies
Strange-Currencies's picture

Bunga Bunga

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:54 | 2630479 fuu
fuu's picture

"In a better world people who rob a company engaged in a manipulative criminal enterprise like LIBOR-rigging would not face criminal charges."

Really?

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:55 | 2630485 Ancona
Ancona's picture

Perfect. No additional comment.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:57 | 2630495 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Seems like her theft was for the public good.  Let's just call it a "tax".

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:08 | 2630523 JamesBond
JamesBond's picture

but only after we first say it isn't a tax

 

jb

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:58 | 2630499 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

At least the money she stole went back into the community.

I'd make a deposit in her anytime.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:59 | 2630501 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Hey, doesn't the one percent play golf with Barack?

Forward, Soviet!

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:58 | 2630502 Timmay
Timmay's picture

Hairy bush or racing stripe?

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 09:24 | 2631457 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Who cares? Work the Nair and waxing into the act.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:59 | 2630503 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Thems some hooters. She should have put it in the mattress instead.

During the collapse there will be rewards for banksters. I guess there already is a reward for the one bankster from Iceland.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 21:59 | 2630504 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture

Clawbacks?

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:10 | 2630525 JamesBond
JamesBond's picture

investors should at least be able to see what they paid for...

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:24 | 2630564 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Kinky...

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:05 | 2630515 Crab Cake
Crab Cake's picture

Laws have nothing to do with justice, theyre there just to keep the little people in line; its as simple as that.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:10 | 2630526 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

She did not steal it, she just borrowed a little bit of clients money to bolster her assets. Completely legal, you could just ask Corzine's lawyers.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:53 | 2630621 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Rehypothecation.  Borrowed some assets to leverage her assets. She was going to pay it back as soon as the modeling contract came in.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:04 | 2630765 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

You two should be her defense team

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 17:31 | 2633791 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Finally I understand the financial term "Derivatits".

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:02 | 2630635 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:11 | 2630529 optionking
optionking's picture

she should get a refund on the plastic surgery, apparently S&M equipment ain't cheap

nothing says I'm a victim like whips and chains.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:47 | 2630810 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

She is on a bench that you do bench presses on. Those look like bracelets, not cuffs, though I agree that her pose is suggestive of bondage.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:11 | 2630530 hustler etiquette
hustler etiquette's picture

because boobs

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:13 | 2630534 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

scabby-you'll get the drips from dipping it in that panty pot

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:01 | 2630637 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

You need to eat it so you can see what's in it.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:21 | 2630554 Theos
Theos's picture

Dumb bitch should have rev-repo'd her boobs with a 50 year duration. No problem! Dem titties will still be good by then.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:22 | 2630558 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Angello Mozilo, of Countywide laughed all the way to the bank. Corzine las already slipped away.

 

 

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:23 | 2630559 runlevel
runlevel's picture

i dont see the link to the unsensored pic in the comments.. the fuck

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 07:51 | 2631108 Broomer
Broomer's picture

But it is there.

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/guest-post-poor-thieves-go-jail-rich-thiev...

cites a link and there (in Spanish),

You can see the photos of Rachael Claire Martin naked breasts uncensored at Blick.ch (Rachael Claire nude)

 

 

 

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:25 | 2630566 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Nothing will change until the people stand up and say enough!

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:28 | 2630568 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

The plastic Barbie doll was just trying to stimulate your economy?  You guys are just soar because, for a bit, you got beat at your own game.  Sad really.  I think you should be proud of your own creation.  Dr. Frankenstein was.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:27 | 2630570 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

How ironic. This is literally what Alanis Moriessette was singing about

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:33 | 2630585 Lore
Lore's picture

 

 

Boob Job = FRAUD! 

Anybody else smell a good metaphor, something about appearances and manipulation and messing with Mother Nature?

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:40 | 2630596 monad
monad's picture

If she didn't get caught they'd promote her to the top. She's got the right stuff.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:49 | 2630611 adr
adr's picture

What she forgot was the middle man. She needed to funnel the stolen money through an intermediary so that her hands were clean. Stealing directly from someone is certainly a crime. "Borrowing" hundreds of billions at less than .5% interest to plow into worthless equities, to pump the price up so you can unload the shares a few minutes later and keep the profit while repaying the loan in full, is just business as usual.

She should have immediately shot some porn and paid back the 46k pounds to the till before anyone knew it was gone. Then it would have been a loan. Any extra money above the 46k would be hers to keep. That is the way the stock market works. Poor girl, working for a bank she should have known better.

Also in the legalized theft department, what the fuck is going on with Nike. They report disaster earnings and the stock plummets, BTFD at the stock is up more than $10 in a week and a half. Did Nike's business have a miraculous turnaround in a couple weeks?

Bankrupt cities and millions of homes in shadow inventories mean REITs should trade through the roof. Massive economic slowdown in China means commodities should also hitch a rocket ride though the stratosphere. Building permits rising, while finished construction craters means homebuilder stocks should double in six months?

The lunacy is so expansive that every nuthouse on the planet wouldn't be able to contain it.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:54 | 2630626 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Thank the CONgress for bailing out malfeasant institutions and corporations.

Thank the FED for juicing the markets (the casino) with taxpayer money and digital "printing".

The FED is creating yet another housing bubble with ZIRP; prices have NOT come down to reality and are going back up thanks to ridiculously low rates in regions where people either have juicy government jobs or milk the FED system (banking, insurance, "health" care).

Lunacy indeed.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:50 | 2630817 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Re-read the remedial section on short squeezes in your trading manual (see both manual and squeeze in the same sentence so I'm on-topic for this post). Sit back and wait. Nothing will be making sense until the squeeze is over.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:50 | 2630616 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

We are truly rushing pell mell into a new Dark Age where all the advances for the individual post Magna Carta are being stripped away in much more insidious ways than the past.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:02 | 2630640 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I was just sitting here thinking the same thing. Wondering if we are at the end of an amazing age and careening headlong into the abyss.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:24 | 2630787 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Humans fought thousands of years to get the personal freedoms they had won and it only took them a couple hundred to give them up.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:54 | 2630822 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Fortunately we traded them away for really entertaining episodes of Dancing with the Stars

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:53 | 2630622 catch edge ghost
catch edge ghost's picture

Here's a soundtrack while you spend the necessary time examining the photo to determine its authenticity. The Fugs

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 09:17 | 2631429 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

I also recommend the version by The Holy Modal Rounders:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd0WOD9yw0E

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 22:53 | 2630624 illadeljim
illadeljim's picture

The Justice system is designed to protect the wealthy, not imprison them.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 07:04 | 2631048 Griffin
Griffin's picture

In 2006, 90% of laws recommended by the Icelandic Chamber of Commerce went trough Parliament.

http://www.icelandexport.is/icelandexport2/english/company/?company_id=4...

They also made reports about the stability of the banking system, like the famous Mishkin report.

In my wiev the guy in this picture who looks like Gollum wrote that report, and Mishkin signed it for a sizable fee of course.

http://www.dv.is/frettir/2009/8/14/tryggvi-og-mishkin-drapu-eina-kvigu-m...

 

This is how the information investors use to price the market is made.

 

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 07:31 | 2631074 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

If you are looking for justice or better yet fairness, well give up all hope who enter into the modern world- mafia ism is the new black.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:04 | 2630644 lano1106
lano1106's picture

She should have plaid innocent and say that she has done all that to get a promotion at the bank!

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:15 | 2630661 Dad Was Right
Dad Was Right's picture

Are those handcuffs she's wearing? Makes for a pretty kinky booking photo. And here I thought the British were so reserved.

Maybe WB7 will photoshop that censor bar into a booking plaque and turn it into a nice mug shot.

BTW, what was her sentence?

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:30 | 2630792 delacroix
delacroix's picture

at least she got some dental work done. thats not standard behavior for a brit.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:18 | 2630678 dolph9
dolph9's picture

Well, you can't blame her for not stimulating the economy.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:19 | 2630681 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

OH well, this needs an Irish Poem:

 

There once was a teller named "Claire"

Who only considered it fair . . .

To lift from the till,

And invest it at will

In boobs, liposuction, and hair.

 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

(OH, PS. . . I didn't say anything about "naked" and "shorts". . .)

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:34 | 2630799 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

There once was a teller named "Claire"

Who exposed her boobs bare . . .

And showed herself half naked

Trying to model and make it

Before her shorts the bank be aware.

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:05 | 2630835 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

OK, another Irish Poem:

 

A poor bank called "Barclays" got screwed.

This time by a gal, not a dude. 

Instead of bad bets,

She "inflated" assets,

Then posed with them both in the nude.

 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

 

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:15 | 2630846 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Banzai7 Seal of Approval

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:37 | 2630860 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

Hi WB7!!! Thank you!!! I hope you are doing OK. Why do I suspect we will soon be seeing Claire with different face in one of your posts???

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 05:29 | 2630977 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Clair de lune?

Beethoven would de very interested! So would Debussy!

The unbared face of Claire without the wrapping on her other moons in full bloom.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 06:06 | 2630996 Griffin
Griffin's picture

I would be very surprised if the LIBOR fiasco was the only criminal activity going on at Barclays.

Claire may not be the only one going tits up.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 11:27 | 2632128 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

"Claire may not be the only one going tits up."

Sorry you posted so late, this is maybe the comment of the thread.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:21 | 2630688 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Actually Jaime Dimon did the exact same thing, but he wears loose suits so you can't see his big ol titties.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:24 | 2630694 Yohimbo
Yohimbo's picture

46,000 pounds, and she still looks like shit.

money dont buy shit no mo.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:30 | 2630708 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

46,000 pounds is not a lot of money. If she offered to be my sex slave for 10 years, I would be more than glad to pay that amount. :)

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:32 | 2630796 delacroix
delacroix's picture

haven't you heard? buy and hold is dead.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:58 | 2630825 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Rent to own.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:36 | 2630716 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Jean Valjean bitchez!

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:49 | 2630744 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

Would someone who knows someone who knows Rachael, tell her to get a legal defense fund website.   I think a number of ZHers would be more than willing to help her defend herself...

Signed Antifaschistische Pending Contributor 

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:51 | 2630745 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

They should all be punished. I suggest:

a)   She should get 2 years in jail and breast cancer screening by every interested ZH subscriber. b)   All the bankers who manipulated LIBOR must let her manage their personal finances for life.

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 23:52 | 2630747 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

She should have rehypothecated the money using documents certified by Linda Green.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:06 | 2630768 Incubus
Incubus's picture

If the crime is big enough, a detail orientated society, that is focused on quarterly profits, will continue without a care.

That's how you steal the future.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:19 | 2630782 madmax1965
madmax1965's picture

Does this really suprise anyone that is an avid ZH reader? I think not!

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:42 | 2630804 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You just can't allow all the little people to be engaged in theft, too. That would be chaos. That would interfere with a bankster's ability to steal it if everyone was doing it. Not to mention it cuts into the loot, I mean profit.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:42 | 2630811 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

Best way to rob a bank is to become a banker, that way you can steal from inside and outside of the Bank.

Laws and law enforcement are in place to insure it stays that way.

However, cops would be much wealthier in the long run if they would arrest and incarcelate the root of the problem. Every american that is employed to use a weapon should turn around one hundred eighty degrees and look at the enemy/criminals behind them, not in the victims in front of them

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:44 | 2630812 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

WTF kind of controls are there at Barclays?  She was able to walk out with about $6K a week for 8 weeks an no one noticed when balancing the cash drawers at the end of the day?  

Boss - "Rachel, your cash drawer was a couple thousand short last night, any idea what happened?"

Rachel - "No, that's weird.  Want to see my new tits"

Boss - "Sure.  Ummm, what were talking about again?"

The employees of even the worst run convenience store know they have fucking hell to pay if they let a customer slide on a couple pennies...and Barclay's bank was fooled for 8 weeks by this criminal master mind?  WTF?  Everyone in charge of these fucking banks should be jailed.  

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:51 | 2630903 onebir
onebir's picture

Yep - should have been picked up in *end of day* reconciliations, not after 8 weeks...

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 07:37 | 2631079 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

She replaced the money with play money from her little brother's Monopoly board game. The ruse was discovered when a senior manager tucked one into a stripper's g-string. The stripper questioned that orange $500.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 00:50 | 2630816 cdude
cdude's picture

Till to Tit- Now THAT'S what I call a currency swap. :-P

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 01:28 | 2630853 wisefool
wisefool's picture

The fake boob thing perplexes me even more than the tax code. Humans are the only species with permanently enlarged breasts, the point is to show males you can nurse children. As I understand it, breast augmentation destroys the ability for human females to nurse their young.

I'd take fully functional A cups and a tax code that passes the test of natural law.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:49 | 2630901 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

That is incorrect.  Breast enhancement does not impair the ability to nurse.  However, it is advisable to wait for a boob job if one is planning a pregnancy and to nurse.  THe size and shape of the breast changes considerably during childbearing, and it's always better to have any necessary work done in a single go.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:33 | 2630895 Bokkenrijder
Bokkenrijder's picture

Bernanke should lauch a QE program just for women who want a breast enlargement!

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:50 | 2630902 onebir
onebir's picture

= Quanitative Enlargement (aka the 'silicone standard')

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 03:06 | 2630911 Bokkenrijder
Bokkenrijder's picture

Hahaha, spot onebir! Think of the "wealth effect!"

A woman who feels sexy will spend even more on clothes, makeup, shoes and handbags in order to display those new curves!

And what about leaking implants? Those need to be removed, involving doctors, insurance companies, medical plans, CDS's on the breast implant manufacturer etc etc. I see limitless possibilities!

Forget fractional reserve requirements and all that Basel I, II stuff! There should be just a simple requirement of women having big tits and we'll be out of this recession in a jiffy! I'm sure Nouriel Roubini would agree!

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 11:33 | 2632145 MsCreant
Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:52 | 2630906 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

Somehow, I don't think that she was planning a FASHION modelling career . . .

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 02:53 | 2630907 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Plastic surgery... A very lucrative business in the US world order, as it promotes US citizen sense of individuality.

Thu, 07/19/2012 - 12:02 | 2632299 akak
akak's picture

Plastic rice... A very lucrative business in the Chinese Citizenism world order, as it promotes Chinese citizen sense of fraud and scamming.

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