Guest Post: Poor Thieves Go To Jail, Rich Thieves Don’t

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by John Aziz of Azizonomics,

This is more surreal than Barack “I’ll Bomb Ya” Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize.

From the Mail:

A bank clerk who dreamed of becoming a model stole £46,000 from the tills — and spent it on plastic surgery and shopping sprees.


Rachael Claire Martin, 24, used the cash to fund a boob job, dental work and liposuction, as well as hair extensions and nights out.


She took thousands at a time from her Barclays branch in Liskeard, Cornwall, in an eight-week period.


Martin initially denied 25 counts of theft in 2010.


But on what should have been the first day of a week-long trial, she admitted a single charge of theft covering the full amount of £46,000.

Steal thousands from a bank? You face criminal charges, a trial and jail time.

When that same bank manipulates a $600 trillion market by rigging the LIBOR rate for profit? No criminal charges, no trial, no jail time.

In a better world people who rob a company engaged in a manipulative criminal enterprise like LIBOR-rigging would not face criminal charges. There is a case that this girl should be treated as a hero. In stealing the money, she was just getting back a tiny fraction of the money that Barclays stole by rigging LIBOR. And by spending the money at least she gave the money back to the public instead of stashing it away in the Cayman Islands.

I hope she achieves her dream of becoming a model. And I hope the LIBOR-riggers spend a very long time in jail — but in reality there’s not much chance of that.

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Aziz's picture

The best thing about the pic (I didn't realise it 'til just now) is you can see her landing strip.

Pladizow's picture

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to office." - Aesop

I could deal with a few million more well endowed Robin Hoods.

Ray1968's picture

I found that picture really easy to masturbate to.

Element's picture

lol ... censorship on zh is getting out of hand ... jus sayin

FEDbuster's picture

What's up with the black bar?

Thank God it isn't a picture of Jon Corzine with his shirt off tied up like that!  I am waiting for the Corzine waterboarding video when some former MF Global clients catch up with him.

12ToothAssassin's picture

why didnt she spend a few bucks on the eyebrows? jus saying...

Oh regional Indian's picture

poor thing. that mutilated, over-blown, whore like pose is what she was gunnign for? With 46,000 pounds?

And people are turned on? Good grief.

Much....errrr....bigger things to worry about that making another failed human a hero, or anti-heroine or whatever category she falls into.



engineertheeconomy's picture

Alright, who's the fucktard that down arrowed me?

Seriously, I think she has potential. Jamie Diamond's job might not be so secure after all...

Vic Vinegar's picture

I greened you for the first, junked you for the second.  The first was a brilliant rebuttal to Ori telling us what should make our dicks hard.  The junk is for getting Mr. D's name wrong and for being a stupid comment.

Precious's picture

The Secret Service Agency is requesting her number.

Western's picture

She looks like Skrillex

Marty Rothbard's picture

Based on this, presumably pre op photo, the poor girl did need work.  Personally I think the money is better spent here, than on beautifying some bank president's Tuscan Mansion.  The result was actually, quite positive.

I was unable to find an uncensored version of the "stretch" photo.  For a proper masturbatory image, mentally merge the two versions.  I particularly enjoy the surprised, wide eyed look in the covered boob version, and was disappointed, that she was reclining, rather than standing, since I believe that would have better displayed the spoils of her crime.  Perhaps she was showing off her insertion scars.  I always preferred the under the nipple, and under the armpit techniques.  I guess she didn't steal enough for some electrolysis, around the navel. or perhaps navel hair is sexy is considered sexy these days, in Cornwall.


Here's another eyeless image, through the looking glass style.  It's a pity, the surgeon couldn't decrease the eccentricity of her aureola.  I've always found elliptical nipples unattractive.  The circle is perfection, in so many things.




One last boob shot.  Once again no money for electrolysis.  I think she looks a bit haggard, in this one.  Perhaps not sleeping well, because of a guilty conscience?  If so, it's just as well she lost her job.  You can't be a successful banker with any sort of  conscience.


Marty Rothbard's picture

Guess you guys miss out on the photos I found.


BigJim's picture

 ...Alright, who's the fucktard that down arrowed me?

Whining about down arrows gets you nowhere on The Hedge. You should know that by now.

Golden Balls's picture

The eyebrows were an extra $5000...funny a Brit spending on thier teeth, she must French.

Deo vindice's picture

Quite the telling commentary that the majority of comments on this story are on almost all about the woman's appearance, and not on the actual story, which is the different results for criminal behaviour based upon whether you are 'rich' or 'poor'.

BeetleBailey's picture

This is because the dearth of ANY of these fucking asshole bankers (read: criminal motherfuckers) getting arrested, going on trial, and  - God forbid - going to prison for their numerous crimes against the people of the world leave us to comment on this womans' marginal looks, her "monolithed-out" augmented breastages, and her uni-brow.

Which is a sad state of affairs......

Until I see anyone paying for these crimes, I believe comments like will continue.

The sheeple public's lack of knowledge of finance is why these fucktards are getting away with all this - and posters on here know it ...........but can do little about educating them.

I've tried; like teaching Gump Physics. The "forced ignorance" of the public is frightening.

Lord Koos's picture

Waddya expect, ZH is a bastion of immature male hormone sufferers.

BigJim's picture

We discuss financial malfeasance in excruciating detail here, day in, day out. A bit of titty appreciation ain't gonna do no harm once in a blue moon.

The bigger question is: why are so few ZHers female? This is a serious problem, because they get to vote too.

Element's picture

Let me guess, you're a fag?

Golden Balls's picture

The eyebrows were an extra $5000...funny a Brit spending on thier teeth, she must French.

Harlequin001's picture

'There is a case that this girl should be treated as a hero.'

Really. So maybe we would be better off if we just let them all go eh? Oh wait, that's what happened in the run up to the French Revolution, when the economy collapsed because no one had any capital because no one could get paid because NO ONE SHOT THE MOB that simply demanded everything for free because they were hard done by and fucking 'deserved' it...

and that worked out just fine didn't it...

Be careful what you wish for.



Bunker Boy's picture

She took money she didn't own to inflate her frontal economy. NEWSFLASH: She won't go to jail, because she learned that trick from her father. Her real name: Claire Bernanke. Libor=liposuction from the people. Hey, if we at least get a better blowjob from it, its an improvement.

fockewulf190's picture

Lezbo jail scene qualified. I'm sure Larry Flynt is already slobbering like Jabba the Hut and is figuring out how he is going to land her. She may be a cougar by the time she gets out though....but whose complaining.

dogbreath's picture


you might consider changing your name to Jackoff or the like

Anusocracy's picture

"Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that numbers of people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of the leaders of their government and have gone to war, and millions have been killed because of this obedience. . . Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem."
—Howard Zinn

world_debt_slave's picture

I'm tired of fake tits, fake women and a fake government with fake bankers.

seek's picture

You forgot the most important thing... fake money.

Zymurguy's picture

They're real on the outside, that's good enough for me.

Daily Bail's picture

This is some funny shit.

Criminal Cramer on Wednesday with Preet Bharara, U.S. Attorney for Southern New York at CNBC's Alpha conference in front of an audience of hedge funds.

"I Just Want To Apologize In Advance That I Don't Have Enough Subpoenas For All Of You..."


Peter Pan's picture

Both this girl and the bankers need jailing but not in the same cell. The bankers need to be paired with some 300 pound gorilla who has unresolved sexual problems.

bob_dabolina's picture

That's a penis, and a nobel attempt at the "tuck under belt" trick, and you can see the scars under her tits.

Aziz's picture

You sir, have been watching too much tranny porn.



Bananamerican's picture

"A bank clerk who dreamed of becoming a model stole £46,000 from the tills — and spent it on plastic surgery and shopping sprees."

what the fuck happened to the English?

they seem to be turning into Californians en masse...

or ignorantly fullfiling Huxley's dark vision of england's dystopian future....

"Every one says I'm awfully pneumatic," said Lenina reflectively, patting her own legs. - Aldous Huxley - Brave New World

FEDbuster's picture

Bob, do you work for the SEC?  Let me guess you are in the investigation division?

flacon's picture

This famous quote is the world we live in right now. Debt servitude of course is what he was thinking - because there is a reward to the debtor (a home, car, nice life etc) minus the interest payments (servitude) derived by a fractional reserve banking system where Aldous Huxley banker benefits at every one else's expense:


“A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive of political bosses and their army of managers control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.” 
Aldous HuxleyBrave New World

sitenine's picture

Shit.  I knew it was just a matter of time before I was reading about Bob's penis on a ZH post.  You're out of hand you know, but I love you all dearly <3

engineertheeconomy's picture

99% of the people on Zerohedge Chat are  2 bit TROLLS. They NEVER engage in serious discussion about the real issues.

Troll Magnet's picture


odatruf's picture

AnAnon - most of the time I ignore your cut and paste screed about "US Citizenism", whatever that is.  But since this was at least typed out differently, what are you on about?

WTF are you trying to say?

The They's picture

...Or paid for too many high-end pros.  Either way, i wouldn't have noticed the scars if it wasn't for the comment.  I wish we lived in a society that didn't push women to think that the only way to be atractive was to get plastic surgery, boob jobs etc.  I'm sure she was gorgeous before any of that anyway.  To bad she didn't just steal the money and spend it on gold and silver instead...

Anusocracy's picture

Most of a woman's behavior involves manipulating men.

Men aren't much better when it comes to women.


flacon's picture

Shariah law forbids bras... you see a perky tit under a burka you know it's real!