Guest Post: President Choomwagon

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by John Aziz of Azizonomics

President Choomwagon

President Obama’s teenage gang called themselves the Choom Gang, choom being their slang word for marijuana. They developed a marijuana-oriented culture:

As a member of the Choom Gang, Barry Obama was known for starting a few pot-smoking trends. The first was called “TA,” short for “total absorption.” To place this in the physical and political context of another young man who would grow up to be president, TA was the antithesis of Bill Clinton’s claim that as a Rhodes scholar at Oxford he smoked dope but never inhaled.


Along with TA, Barry popularized the concept of “roof hits”: when they were chooming in the car all the windows had to be rolled up so no smoke blew out and went to waste; when the pot was gone, they tilted their heads back and sucked in the last bit of smoke from the ceiling.


When you were with Barry and his pals, if you exhaled precious pakalolo (Hawaiian slang for marijuana, meaning “numbing tobacco”) instead of absorbing it fully into your lungs, you were assessed a penalty and your turn was skipped the next time the joint came around.

They even called their Mystery-Machine-style VW van the Choomwagon:

I don’t have a problem with Obama — or anyone else — smoking dope. As far as I am concerned, consenting adults have the liberty to do whatever they like so long as they don’t hurt others, or take their liberty or property.

I don’t have a problem with Obama — or anyone else — defining themselves by smoking dope.

I have a problem with hypocrisy.

Not only did Obama use marijuana in his youth, he also used cocaine, and reportedly crack. Today around 400,000 Americans are jailed for non-violent drug related offenses. That’s 400,000 outside of the workforce who could be out working and producing, instead of burdening the taxpayer, who pays to create profits for well-connected corporations in the prison-industrial complex.

Put more simply, there are more black people in prison as a result of the drug war today than there were slaves in 1850.

What’s President Obama — as a black man and a drug user — doing about that? There are still thousands of people being arrested for nonviolent drug offenses who are facing life in prison.

President Obama’s signature  policy in this area has been the Fair Sentencing Act which reduced the previous 100:1 sentencing discrepancy between crack (predominantly used by blacks) and powder cocaine to 18:1, as well as eliminating the five-year mandatory minimum sentence for simple possession of crack cocaine. So now the courts will be 18 times tougher on urban blacks using crack than they are on Wall Street traders (etc) using powder cocaine? Am I supposed to think that that is better?

No. He is willing to keep jailing nonviolent citizens who did nothing more than ingest or possess a narcotic, and deny them their liberty. He is willing to enforce racist laws and policies that lock up and criminalise a disproportionately high number of minorities, at a huge cost to the taxpayer. He is willing to deny medical marijuana patients the medicine their doctors have prescribed. He is willing to maintain the drug laws and the drug war, that (lest we forget) are the thing that are empowering and enriching the Mexican drug smuggling cartels and urban criminal gangs, and creating huge violence and thousands of deaths throughout Latin America.

As Milton Friedman wrote:

If you look at the drug war from a purely economic point of view, the role of the government is to protect the drug cartel. That’s literally true.


There is no logical basis for the prohibition of marijuana. Our failure to successfully enforce these laws is responsible for the deaths of thousands of people in Colombia. I haven’t even included the harm to young people. It’s absolutely disgraceful to think of picking up a 22-year-old for smoking pot. More disgraceful is the denial of marijuana for medical purposes.

But the thing that tears me up most is the rank hypocrisy. President Obama is a hypocrite who won’t even fight to legalise nonviolent behaviour that he himself proudly and overtly practised. If only he hadn’t been so lucky; those unjust drug laws that he won’t fight to repeal would likely have prevented him from ever being President, and he might instead be on probation working at Footlocker.

A President with integrity or compassion would fight tooth and nail to end this. Ron Paul — who has never used illegal recreational drugs — has vowed that as President he will pardon nonviolent drug offenders, give them back their liberty, and the right to keep the fruits of their labour, and save taxpayers a $15 billion-per-year bundle of cash by ending the waste and destruction of the war on drugs. Drug abuse should be treated as a social-medical problem. The war on drugs is an economic drain and a threat to our liberty.

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Hondo's picture

Check with the ESF (Exchange Stabilization Fund).....there is no oversite of this fund by congress and helped fund all kinds of wars...drugs and otherwise.  The drug trade helps their situation...

slaughterer's picture

The USA is trapped in a gigantic CHOOMWAGON with Paul Krugman, Barry, The Bernanke, the Squid, the girls from the Dixey Chicks, and Snoop Doggy Dog.  Don't waste that precious fiat smoke or you lose your next toke!

FEDbuster's picture

The CHOOMWAGON is heading for the edge of the cliff that ends up in the shit abyss.

redpill's picture

Penn Jillette said it in a slightly more concise and colorful manner:


"Do we believe, even for a second, that if Obama had been busted for marijuana -- under the laws that he condones -- would his life have been better? If Obama had been caught with the marijuana that he says he uses, and 'maybe a little blow'... if he had been busted under his laws, he would have done hard f*cking time. And if he had done time in prison, time in federal prison, time for his 'weed' and 'a little blow,' he would not be President of the United States of America. He would not have gone to his fancy-a** college, he would not have sold books that sold millions and millions of copies and made millions and millions of dollars, he would not have a beautiful, smart wife, he would not have a great job. He would have been in f*cking prison, and it's not a god damn joke. People who smoke marijuana must be set free. It is insane to lock people up."

Aziz's picture

WB7 doing Obama as a Footlocker employee in T-10...?

Also note to slaughterer: Snoop Dogg supports Dr. Paul. 

eatthebanksters's picture

I like Ron Paul and nothing against Snoop Dog, but I would not call that a ringing endorsement, although it is an interesting sign of the times...

lasvegaspersona's picture


the average American is libertarian...that in fact is the American way....the average American just does not know it...they think they are red or blue or something in between...check out    it has a quick little test with which you can see just where you are not only on the left right line but (more importantly) on the verticle axis which measures authortarian vs libertarian views. I have found the results often surprise people, especially the guy who says "I make Atilla the Hun seem liberal".

steelhead23's picture

I am not certain your assertion is correct.  However, I believe that the reason 3rd parties do not do well in America is not that they don't espouse positions in keeping with American sensibilities, it is that many erstwhile 3rd party voters become convinced that if so and so gets elected, America is certain to go to hell in a hurry.  Among Democrats, who may lean Green or Workers Party, the fear is that if Mitt Romney is elected, he would solidify elite rule by appointing 3 new Supreme Court Justices who would lean right.  I would assume similar memes are bandied about about Obama.  BTW - the Libertarian Party platform is not merely about personal freedom and liberty, it rejects collectivism in all forms, including Medicare and Social Security.  A tad extreme for my tastes.

StychoKiller's picture

Such folk are letting their fear(s) trump their principles.

Bringin It's picture

Diebold used to make a cookie jar with no lid.  It's easy to fix.

monad's picture

Free fotochop lessons here:

Make money with your virtual brush and pen! If you like WB7's creations, take the FREE Talent Test. No fee. No obligation. Download your Photoshop preview* TODAY!

*or convert to Linux & go full auto Gimp


mayhem_korner's picture



"his laws" - Indonesia or Kenya?

"fancy-a** college" - Vanna, can I get a transcript?

"beautiful, smart, wife..." - I thought he married Michelle

The Alarmist's picture

That obviously is not the actual Choom-wagon pictured above. That one has a European license plate, and while it could still have theoretically been sitting in Hawaii with German plates, the very German-looking real estate sitting behind it is clearly not to be found in Hawaii.

He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

Well spotted, Alarmist. Its just the usual amount of fabrication and innuendo at ZH.

Journalism is different. Still its entertaining from time to time.

Well: I have a problem with hypocrisy then stop trying to mislead, TD,

or move to Zimbabwe.

MarsInScorpio's picture

Hey, He_Who Carried, what's with the false attribution in your post, "Well: I have a problem with hypocrisy then stop trying to mislead, TD . . ."


Did it escape your notice that this is a Guest Post, "Submitted by John Aziz of Azizonomics?"


As such, why are you dissing on Tyler?


lasvegaspersona's picture

he who

who says Barry wasn't coming up from Kenya in this VW and just stopped in Germany on his way to Pakistan or Indonesia?

StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, and those are yer real boobs, yes?

He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

You willnevva know, boy,

but real they are... ;-)

prodigious_idea's picture

Linking to a blog with nothing but one racist rant.  What intellect.

F. Bastiat's picture

You forgot to mention the "sons" he's always talking about. The guy's a brain-damaged sociopath, at best.

dugorama's picture

yeah, great.  first you wasted our time worrying about his birth certificate, now you want to distract us with a transcript search.  puh-leeze.  focus on what matters, not BS like this

MarsInScorpio's picture

Dugorama, do you feel that finding out if POTUS is a serial felon who should be indicted, and will be convicted, is "what matters?"


The issue with the transcripts is not about grades - although many will no doubt get off on that.


No, it is about the issue of whether Obama received federal funds by defrauding schools to which he represented he was a foreign exchange student, born in Kenya. If he did, then he is liable for the criminal penalties.


The problem Obama faces is how to explain the 16-years that he represented himself as Kenyan-born through his literary agent, and throughout his political career through his campaign materials, public statements, and news reports about his campaigns for the IL State Senate, and the US Senate, up to April, 2007, two months after he decided to run for president.


At that point, he suddenly became an American citizen, born in Hawaii - the story you hear today from him and his apologists.


So if you don't consider whether he is a serial felon, "what matters," then certainly I respect that for your life.


However, I do consider that the issue of who will be POTUS matters critically, because it affects matters ranging from fiscal policy to foreign affairs, to civil peace and economic prosperity (or the lack thereof any of those).


Many people have a major issue - and so to them it is "what matters" - to think that Obama could go 16 years lying about where he was born. How psycho do you have to be to do that? And do you really want someone that psycho as POTUS?


But then, maybe he wasn't lying during those 16 years. Maybe he is lying now about being a US citizen. Maybe the truth is that there is no long-form birth certificate just as the governor of Hawaii - and hardcore Obama supporter - told the world after he went to the Department of Health and couldn't find the long form certificate on file.


The long-form certificate you see now was produced after The Donald pressed hard on the issue - then suddenly - there it is.


Only it isn't the one from the microfilm. No, it is a PDF that many, many PDF engineering experts have pronounced as a forgery. Just as his draft registration card has been shown to be a forgery, and then there is the messy question of how he got a CN SSN living in Hawaii. These questions are all being investigated in the state of Arizona, because the legitimacy of the Office of POTUS is "what matters" to the rule of law in America.


So I guess "what matters" depends on what matters to any of us as individuals. I read ZH and watch one example after another of the total corruption of the US financial world. It is not a republic that we inhabit, it is a kleptocracy. It is littered with kleptocrats who steal anything they want - Corzine comes immediately to mind - and absolutely nothing happens to them.


To many of us the preservation of America is "what matters" - and it matters greatly.


So circle back up to the beginning of this missive, and rediscover for yourself "what matters" to the few remaining honest, decent, people, left in the US.


Because while I know in my heart Obama was born in Kenya - no one goes 16 years misstating where he or she is born throughout their professional and political career - or else he did do that so he could steal federal money just like his mother did with her welfare payments - knowing the truth about the POTUS is "what matters" greatly.


BeetleBailey's picture

Good post Redpill...

Gillette tells it like it is....and the point he makes is lost on 99.5% of Americans.

Freddie's picture

I heard Penn on the radio>  I think it was Hannity and I generally don't listen to Hannity.  Penn is a libertarian. I think he said he has never smoked anything or drank any alcohol.  I doubt he even had sugar soft drinks.

Penn is 100% correct. 

SeattleBruce's picture

"The CHOOMWAGON is heading for the edge of the cliff that ends up in the shit abyss."

The problem with legalizing drugs is the same problem the US has with obesity.  We don't have the discipline in this nation to handle it.  Perhaps if we as a society showed even a little self control, I'd believe we could handle legalizing additional harder substances like cocaine and crack, even weed.  Til then, time to hunker down and impute purpose into people's lives that would not include getting trashed and stoned on every occasion.  Somehow, I don't think the massive drug parks in Amsterdam are a vision for the future, as much as the ultra-vigilent drug war isn't either.  Somewhere, there is a happy medium.

Abitdodgie's picture

I always eat too much when I am stoned.

bigerny's picture

I's high times we take up the holy war on alcohol.

Ropingdown's picture

"Harder substances like cocaine and crack, and even weed."  Even weed?  You think legalizing crack should come before weed?  I think weed should be legalized.  I think crack never never ever should be.  Maybe you typed in a hurry?

monad's picture

Legalize crack. Legalize everything, get the government out of the babysitting business and the pharmanopoly. What will happen is: the crack heads will continue to do what they are doing, and the smart kids & mommies will continue to avoid them as they do now. The difference will be that we won't be paying billions every years for the illusion that something "good" is being done, and for the unconstitutional imprisonment of Americans. Criminals will go out of business, this business will return to Americans, the consistent quality of recreational drugs will skyrocket and the economy will stabilize despite government meddling. The international drug syndicates will lose their state sponsored monopoly and the slaughter in Mexico will end. Cops will keep busting people who commit crimes against other people

StychoKiller's picture

But, but...the police need an excuse to seize yer property!  After all, Armored Personnel Carriers don't come cheap!

monad's picture

Police states are small change. We have a moon base to build and a mars colony to squat. A new life awaits you in the off-world colonies... 

eatthebanksters's picture

Who gives a shit...if people want to eat themselves into the grave or smoke themsleves into oblivion then let them...just make sure society doesn't bear the burden of healthcare costs for their lack of discipline.

grgy's picture

@SeattleBruce, perhaps we can start with decriminalizing simple possession of drugs.  That would significantly  reduce prison populations, free up policing, reduce pressure on the law courts, and save a ton of money in the process.  Alas, there are just too many powerful interests who benefit from maintaining the status quo.  Until the sheeple wake up and vote for someone like Ron Paul, nothing will change.

lasvegaspersona's picture


You are missing the point of these laws...they give the police the incentive and the 'need' to do endless stops and searches....what would they do without these laws?...go back to running the radar trap rackets?...

Ulimately police work is mostly unneeded, my last few burglaries were handled predominantly  by my insurance agent...

I am incensed that cops ask for permission to do a search of my vehicle....the very entity that supposedly protcets my rights (against search and seizure) is now telling us that they want to do that...many folks, wanting to be good citizens, say sure go ahead and search, I got nuttin to hide...I tell them that they cannot, unless they have a warrant. My kids have all been trained to do the same.

Bill Clinton and his 'Crime Bill' are the things that made me aware...the cops....are not the good guys we want them to be...they are just another political party (together with prison guards) who urge expansion of our intrusive laws...just to keep themselves employed. It is shameful. I know there are many great cops, I just do not hear their voices speaking out against unconstitutional intrusions on our privacy and 'papers'.

HungrySeagull's picture

The Choomie has no brakes, all the money available went up in smoke.

lemonobrien's picture

I got my money on my mind, and my mind on my money; laaaayed back... smok'n indo, sipp'n on gin an juice.

FEDbuster's picture

War on Drugs

War on Terror

War on Obesity

War on Tobacco

War on .......

The Alarmist's picture

Nah, we're ok with wars. We have at least 5 hot ones and a bunch of figurative ones going on right now.

Woodyg's picture

War on State Legalized Medical Marijuana.

The Oilybomber had said he supported Medical use of ganja then has busted hundreds of people who have legal growing cards in their individual states.

He may be a Hypocrite but Sociopath is a more accurate term for his character.

See Jo further than his personally choosing and ok'ing the 'hit list' fo the drone attacks etc.

Mach1513's picture

All pols are sociopaths. Do you think Mittens will be any different?

jeff montanye's picture

no but obama's defeat will be a personal punishment for him, as romney's subsequent one will be for him.  throw the rascals out is the only choice on offer.

hardcleareye's picture

Right.......  and just how does the nation controlled by the TPTB do that???????? 

Harbanger's picture

Same way they did in the 2010 elections.