Guest Post: The Real Reverse Robin Hood: Ben Bernanke And His Merry Band Of Thieves

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Charles Hugh-Smith of OfTwoMinds blog,

Away from the stifling media crush, staid Ben Bernanke is dashing Reverse Robin Hood, lackey pawn of the Neofeudalist Financial Lords who shamelessly steals from the poor to give to the parasitic super-rich.

Amidst electioneering chatter about a "reverse Robin Hood" who steals from the poor to give to the rich, it's important to identify the real Reverse Robin Hood: Ben Bernanke and his Merry Band of Thieves, a.k.a. the Federal Reserve. It's especially appropriate to reveal Ben as the real Reverse Robin Hood today, as the Chairman is as omnipresent in the media as Big Brother due to the Cargo-Cult confab in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Please answer the following questions before launching a rousing defense of the All-Powerful Fed and its chairman:

1. What is the nominal yield on your savings account, thanks to the Fed's zero-interest rate policy (ZIRP)? (Answer: 0.25%)

2. What is the inflation-adjusted yield on your savings account? (Answer: - 2.25%)

3. What is the rate of interest the Fed charges banks for "free money"? (Answer: 0%)

4. What is the average interest rate for bank-issued credit cards? (Answer: 14.52%)

5. What is the interest rate for student loans? (Answer: 6.8%, and 7.9% or 8.5% for PLUS loans)

6. Does the Fed pay interest on the funds banks have borrowed from the Fed for 0% and then deposited with the Fed? (Answer: yes)

7. Exactly how has the average American worker benefited from the Fed's policies? (Answer: interest on credit cards has declined from 19.9% to 14.52%, if the worker has outstanding credit, which few of the bottom 90% do.) Theoretically, workers could re-finance their homes at lower interest rates, but the vast majority are either underwater or no longer qualify. Ben and the Merry Thieves love pulling Catch 22.

8. How has the average parasitic Neofeudalist Financial Lord benefited from the Fed's "rob the poor to give to the rich" policies? (Answer: Handsomely. The top 1%'s income and net worth has soared as Ben and his Merry Band of Thieves have stripmined interest income from the poor and pension funds and diverted it to the rich.)


9. Have the Fed's Reverse Robin Hood policies narrowed income disparity in the U.S.? (Answer: no--income disparity has widened further as a result of Fed goosing of risk assets.)

10. How many of the nation's 14.5 million unemployed have gotten jobs as a result of Fed policies who would not have gotten a job if the Fed had been abolished in 2009? (Answer: unknown, but the best guess is 17, including Bennie the part-time janitor, with a statistical error of + or - 17.)

11. How does Ben the Reverse Robin Hood justify his thievery? (Answer: he doesn't. Officially sanctioned propaganda casts him in the role of selfless do-gooder, protecting saintly Neofeudalist Financial Lords from restless debt-serfs.)

Listen up, debt-serfs, you have it good here on the manor estate. You get three squares of greasy fast-food or heavily processed faux-food a day, and if Reverse Robin Hood and his Merry Band of Thieves is ripping you off it's for a good reason: the predatory Neofeudalist Financial Lords need the money more than you do, as they have a lot of political bribes to pay: it's an election year, and the bribes are getting increasingly costly. Poor things, we're sure you understand. Now go back to work or watching entertainment (or "news," heh) and leave the Lords alone.

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Neethgie's picture

Bernanke has fired every bullet he has got, hes now in a stand off, with the markets hiding behind a bullet riddled doorway shouting I HAVE MORE BULLETS DONT COME IN HERE.
eventually some brave analyst will peer his head round the door and find bernanke and the us economy naked.

Cult_of_Reason's picture
Jackson Hole Paper Strongly Critiques Fed

By Jon Hilsenrath

Columbia University professor Michael Woodford launched a stinging critique of the policies of the Federal Reserve and other central banks in the wake of the financial crisis, accusing them of “wishful thinking” and saying that some of the steps the Fed has taken have backfired.

Roy Bush's picture

And now we need to ask ourselves..."are Obama or Romney going to change the answers to these questions?".

Make a real statement and DON'T VOTE.  None of the above.

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

This is a stark demonstration the tragedy of capitalism. The solutions to our problems will only be found by looking to the government for help. Solutions to global problems require collective action, not “personal responsibly” (another libertarian myth designed to protect the 1%). The first thing to do in my opinion is to go after offshore tax free corporate bank accounts. Nobody should be able to simply keep 100% of their property for themselves without paying a fair portion to the government. The government has not only the right, but also a moral duty to take a fair proportion of every person’s property, in order to spend it on virtuous causes of their choice.

SilverIsKing's picture

I agree....
....with absolutely nothing you ever have to say.

Michael's picture

Clint Eastwood's empty chair he used last night in his RNC speech, for anyone who has never been to acting school, is known as a Stage Prop or Theatrical Property.

knukles's picture

Oh gee...

I thought it was an allegorical illusion to the premise of the empty suit.

Michael's picture

All modern presidents are empty suits and puppets, that's a given.

AldousHuxley's picture

a liar who is also good looking you become an actor

a liar with good voice you join a radio station

a liar becomes a politician.

fiddy pence haff pound's picture

i think Luke Rudkowski said Washington is Hollywood for ugly people

Michael's picture

Clint was told he would have to talk about Obamacare, he thought they said Obama "Chair"

Too Funny!

Tinky's picture

Ah, yes, and what cause could be more "virtuous" than another unnecessary, illegal, and ultimately disastrous war of choice?

Michael's picture

Query MDB,

If I paid 90% in taxes on $100 billion I earned and got to keep $10 billion dollars, Would you come after the $10 billion I still have, in the future?

beachdude's picture

Don't bother to red arrow MDB... just ignore the troll and it will slink off.

freet0pian's picture

Don't vote... Yeah, that'll show them! Any other clever ideas?

Why not just write RP in? Anything is better than to just lay down and die.


Well, I have to correct myself. Laying down in front of congress while on fire might wake somebody up.

francis_the_wonder_hamster's picture

I live in Cali, so my vote for Prez doesn't count.  Not only is the election almost always already decided before most of us here vote, but it is a moot point because my electoral vote is automatically going to the Dems every time (Reagan exception).  Why should I bother voting?

"Laying down while congress is on fire might wake somebody up".  Fixed it for you.

socalbeach's picture

If Romney loses and the Libertarian plus RP write-in vote is greater than his margin of defeat in the popular vote, maybe the Republicans will get the message.  Or maybe not, but it's worth a try.

chasman's picture

Worth a try you say....let me ask you a question....let say I told you, I have a very sharp knife and you have a choice....I can stick you in one eye or both????? what would you choose????? Now knowing in 4 more years that country has a 50-50 chance of total collapse because BO is re-elected or in 4 years the people finally wake up and vote for real change.....meaning neither a rep or dem...but heres the catch, part of that 50-50 is that there is no country left due to BO....I will take my chances and vote for the lessor of the two evils...or the poke in one eye

lakecity55's picture

Mittens may  give us a chance to put in a Libertarian in 4 years;

O-Man will just kill all of us.

Fuck O-man and his mooselam day of prayer to the meteor gods.

socalbeach's picture

I don't accept your analogy because it's not clear Etch-A-Sketch Romney will be any better than Obama, he could even end up being worse.  And I've never voted for a Dem in my life and think Obama is horrible. The Republicans under Bush Jr gave us the unpatriotic Patriot Act, sold the Iraq war on false pretenses, increased the size of gov't, etc.

Furthermore I live in a state that is going to Obama regardless of who I vote for.

Helix6's picture

And you think Mittens will do anything differently from BO because...?

Oh, wait.  BO will smile to your face before stabbing you in the back.  Romney will just stab you in the chest.  Also, BO's paycheck is about four zeros short of where it needs to be to get into the iner circle.  Romney's is only about two zeros short.

Meet the new boss.  Same as the old boss.

Get a clue.  The country is owned.  It doesn't matter which empty suit wins.  They're both going to be working for the same masters.  It's just that Romney thinks dancing to their tune is the right thing to do and admits it, whereas Obama finds himself dancing to their tune also, although he won't admit it.

ZeroAvatar's picture

Yeah, in the meantime obummer gets 4 more years.  Nice try, obummer pickle-smoker.

Michael's picture

The Jewtub MSM and their twisted other media are going to tell you what to think about the CE speech, and not discuss any of the topics and actual words he used in that speech.
All the words in Clint Eastwood's speech were truth. Tell me which words and phrases were lies?

Rearranging Deckchairs's picture

I also live in Cali. Since its a slamdunk for Obama my vote doesn't count too. But I am committed to showing up and either voting for a third party candidate like that Johnson fellow or writing in Ron Paul's name. I will not cast my vote for either of the  Obammneys but I want my vote to at least make a statement in protest. Someday in some database they'll see an independent white male professional middle class voter and the others that join me, and realize I didn't vote for the shite they were selling.

It will satisfy my conscience that I indeed voted without having to feel like I cast it for either of the neo feudal lords' proposed puppets.

In the alternative one could show up and just decline to vote for the presidential candidate but vote for the other ballot issues. You can do this in LA County you simply tell the person at the polling box that you left the contest blank intentionally. If you stay home and don't vote yes it makes a statement but not nearly as strong if you show up and don't cast a vote.


ZeroAvatar's picture

That has GOT to be some of the most Liberal, backwards-thinking logic I have ever heard.  Show up to the polls, and leave the ballot blank? 


Boy, the obummer pickle-smoking trolls are out in force.



madcows's picture

Mickey Mouse, Robin Hood, Capt. Kangaroo. MY VOICE WILL BE HEARD!

Miffed Microbiologist's picture

"Well, I have to correct myself. Laying down in front of congress while on fire might wake somebody up."

Hmmm, not sure if that would wake them up. That would be pure entertainment for that bunch. Frankly I believe piles of burning bodies is their goal. If I were to ever find myself on the floor of congress I hope I have a few pounds of C4 on me with a detonator in hand. But,at this point, even that is no solution. There are plenty waiting in the wings to take their places. I wish there were some great reset button to push that doesn't involve something like global nuclear war.


rlouis's picture

I'm torn between two write in candidates for the job:

Ron Paul

and a new candidate for the position (because I believe in voting) -  Fuck You

FY's positions on most issues is unclear but regarding the state of presidential politics, it is one I completely agree with.


madbuilder's picture

lets get 50 million people to write in NO CONFIDENCE this november

wont do shit, but wouldnt they have to report it?


Michael's picture


I'd rather do battle with an enemy I know rather then an enemy I don't know.

Helix6's picture

I kinda like Ron Paul...

Helix6's picture

Double post!  WTF???  Sorry!

madcows's picture

HaHa.  Columbia.  don't you know that the ivy league schools and their shill professors have no credibility.

Cult_of_Reason's picture

They have as much credibility as Princeton professor Paul Krugman.

BTW, Hilsenrath is getting increasingly desperate.


Pairadimes's picture

I have a nine-year-old Boston Terrier with a disgusting habit of licking everything that has more credibility than Paul Krugman.

Cult_of_Reason's picture

Idiot Hilsenrath has changed the title of his morning article after the market started to ignore him and selling off.

You cannot make this stuff up.

Before: Bernanke Signals Readiness to Do More

After: Bernanke Leaves Little Doubt He's Ready to Act

PavewayIII's picture

"...After: Bernanke Leaves Little Doubt He's Ready to Act..."


I'm going with #2 here, considering:

Black Hawk helicopters' war games over downtown Minneapolis

The Blackhawks arrived from the direction of the main airport and queued up as the video shows over the business district of downtown. 

WTF? Why conduct 'urban warfare' training in Minneapolis? This video from Wednesday evening probably answers the question:

Black Helicopters fly around Minneapolis Federal Reserve

The title is a bit misleading - they landed on the roof of the Minneapolis Federal Reserve. Does that 'urban warfare' operation look anything like an EXTRACTION to you? Nonsense... Why would anyone ever want to flee the Ninth District by helicopter? Maybe they're just picking up bags of FRNs. That's how they're distributed, right?  


Hilsenrath said Bernanke is ready to act - maybe this is 'Plan B'. 

Alexandre Stavisky's picture

No Political solution exists for the global debt crisis.

No Monetary or Fiscal solution exists.

What Madman leader would dare suggest a 40 year (one full generation) plan to return the US and global economy to health?

Cut ALL gov't by 45% across the board.  NO EXCEPTIONS.

Institute a 15% consumption tax.  Eliminate all deductions to income tax and tax all incomes over poverty rate at 20%.

Close half of all foreign military bases.  Cut salaries and retirements of all military personnel minimum 50%.  RIF half.

Medicare and Medicaid scrapped.  Gov't authorizes no invasive non-emergency surgeries, seniors pay first 25% of all incurred costs.  Three visits per year maximum.

Lifetime medical allotment of $10,000.  Disease incurred by poor lifestyle choices?  Sorry, made your bed, sleep.

Social security.  Those who opt for gov't sponsored retirement must sign lien against all assets, never to be subordinated; gov't factors individual retirement based upon funds contributed and value of pledged assets.  Lien to be exercized upon death of recipient.  Efforts to hide or disperse assets prior to retirement cause forfeiture.

Assetless retirees have very modest safety net.  Small domicile provided (industrialized mass housing) and modest meals.  Extra income available by participation in private enterprised sponsored menial labour.

Those who opt out may use their own retirement plan.

Since GDP=C+I+G+X, this immediate contraction will crush all categories and GDP will shrink to about 1/2 of today's numbers.

No monetary dilution of currency would be allowed.  Preservation of earner's purchasing power would be sacrosanct.

Fiscal stimulus would be allowed only after minimum (inviolate) threshholds of debt payment were met. Unlikely.

Paydown of deficit of minimum 4% per annum, surpluses every year.  No deficit spending.  Perhaps domestic autarky.

IMPOSSIBLE.  Revolution or default would be preferable to everyman.  An entire generation sacrificed to remedying the dissolution not of their making.  AND IT WOULD TAKE AT LEAST 40 YEARS.


Second option:  Like MacArthur in Japan.  Seize all assets and redistribute.  Cancel all debts.  Destroy prior currency regime.  Institute new regime with strict metal backing to return confidence. Martial Jubilee.  Credit expanded only by one dollar capital, one dollar lending.  No fractionalizing.  Strict regulation and prosecutions.


Either way some mixture of the two will be forced upon the nations of the earth. Or disorderly default and disorderly reorganization like after Rome's fall.


madbuilder's picture

the truth sucks ass.  and you speaketh the truth

winter is coming

repete's picture

much easier idea.

End the fed and return to a gold standard 

Make all banks mark to market

Take over enough insolvent bank infrastructure to provide government run (for now) basic banking services with employees paid at civil service rates.

Remove private banks ability to do fractional reserve lending

Allow the gov bank to lend freely and apply interest to national debt

Gov bank would also provide reasonable interest on savings

Allow all private banks to demonstrate their highly paid abilities while working without a taxpayer safety net.

Why should the benefit of fractional reserve lending go to just one segment of society?

Eventually morph the gov bank into some kind of private basic banking service but with the benefit of recieving interest on money you don't have going to the national debt.



Radical Marijuana's picture

It is way too late to go backwards to old-fashioned guns and gold now.

There is only the runaway insanity of politics by other means, i.e., war.

What exists is a combined money/murder system.

The books are so extremely out of balance that only blood may work to balance those books. However, that also appears way too late to be sanely done. The American Money and Military are already like flying Unicorns and Dragons, whose sheer impossibility is the only thing still keeping them in the air. We have quadrillions of dollar units out in the global cyber-casino, backed up by players with an abundance of weapons of mass destruction. When one of those players finally upsets the table, there will be almost nothing left of that casino, after those players open fire upon each other. Indeed, the ONLY thing keeping the established systems going and growing is the unimaginable terror towards what will happen if their frauds finally collapse back to physical realities.

The ONLY theoretical solutions are radically different death controls, to sustain radically different debt controls, in a radically different combined money/murder system. However, since the established elites want to go forward by consolidating their insane hegemony, while their controlled opposition are reactionary revolutionaries, that want to go backwards to old-fashioned impossible ideals, their conflicts will eventually have to jump the rails, and the entire train of Neolithic civilization crash in unimaginably spectacular ways.  The REAL solutions will be dramatically different death controls, in one way or another. The only way to balance these books is with blood. Too bad that will surely be done in the most insane ways, instead of some of the theoretically possible better ways.

Alexandre Stavisky's picture

foaming the runway? Or foaming at the mouth?

Dapper Dan's picture

Alex Stav, I can not begin to tell you how profound your cerbrated comment was.

Thank you.


francis_the_wonder_hamster's picture

Yikes!!  Woodford argues that the Fed hasn't been accomodative ENOUGH?  They haven't been firm enough in their committment to monetize the freakin universe?  You've got to be freakin kidding me!!!! 

Zero Govt's picture

I'd like to see crone Benny with no clothes (metaphorically)

any chance of a bit of ZH sleuthing to reveal the private names of the stinky cartel that owns the Fed?

JR's picture

Neethgie: Bernanke has fired every bullet he has got, hes now in a stand off, with the markets hiding behind a bullet riddled doorway shouting I HAVE MORE BULLETS DONT COME IN HERE..


Good ol’ Bernank. “Don’t come in here; I don’t have any more bullets left.  Don’t expect anything from me, I’m out of money. You know…here’s what’s happenin’… the savers are stealing us blind."

Yes sir. We need a common man like Obama to run this; he understands the national basketball league players. If you can trash talk basketball, the people can understand what you’re talking about. Bernanke should be President and Obama should be Fed chair!

Sarc aside, the market is just waiting around for the signal to print. Bernanke is a liar, a shyster, a bunco steerer,  bringing the Fed closer and closer to oblivion, to being wiped out.

In the meantime, he is destroying the economy.


Problem Is's picture

The Bernank is the Fed's Barry Soetoro...

A moronic empty suit Useful Idiot front man reading what is loaded into the Teleprompter for him by his owners and following orders...

IndicaTive's picture

Now I personally, finally feel justified in saying FUCK YOU BEN BERNANKE!!