Guest Post: Uncle Sam Admits Monitoring You For These 377 Words

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Simon Black from Sovereign Man

Uncle Sam Admits Monitoring You For These 377 Words

One of breakout standup routines from the late, great George Carlin was his 1972 monologue “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.” In the presence of polite company, I shall not repeat them… but rest assured, the routine is still hilarious to this day.

I wish I could say the same about the Department of Homeland Security… I wish I could say this is all a big joke… that the government’s “377 words you can never use online” is just some stupid comedy routine.

But it’s not. And you just can’t make this stuff.

After vigorous resistance, the Department of Homeland Security was finally forced into releasing it’s 2011 Analyst’s Desktop Binder. It’s a manual of sorts, teaching all the storm troopers who monitor our Internet activity all day which key words to look for.

Facebook, a.k.a. the US government’s domestic intelligence center, is the primary target for this monitoring… though it’s become clear so many times before that various departments, including the NSA and FBI, are monitoring online activity ranging from search terms to emails.

Domestic spying is typically denied in public and swept under the rug. After all, it’s legality has always been questionable… if not entirely Unconstitutional.

Yet month after month it seems, there is new legislation introduced to deprive Internet users of their privacy and make the open collection of data a natural part of the online landscape.

Homeland Security’s key word ‘hotlist’ is really no surprise… they’re just the ones to get caught.

So now we know, at least, what these goons are looking for. Sort of.

According to the manual, DHS breaks down its monitoring into a whopping 14 categories ranging from Health to Fire to Terrorism. It’s a testament to how bloated the department’s scope has become.

Afterwards there is a list of 377 of key terms to monitor, most of which are completely innocuous. Exercise. Cloud. Leak. Sick. Organization. Pork. Bridge. Smart. Tucson. Target. China. Social media.

Curiously, in its ‘Critical Information Requirements’, the manual decrees that analysts should also catalog items which may “reflect adversely on DHS and response activities.”

Absolutely unreal. Big Brother is not just watching. He’s digging, searching, reading, monitoring, archiving, and judging too.

Have you hit your breaking point yet?

= Complete list of DHS monitoring keywords =

Department of Homeland Security (DHS)
Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)
Coast Guard (USCG)
Customs and Border Protection (CBP)
Border Patrol
Secret Service (USSS)
National Operations Center (NOC)
Homeland Defense
Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE)
Agent
Task Force
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)
Fusion Center
Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA)
Secure Border Initiative (SBI)
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms (ATF)
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS)
Federal Air Marshal Service (FAMS)
Transportation Security Administration (TSA)
Air Marshal
Federal Aviation Administration (FAA)
National Guard
Red Cross
United Nations (UN)
Assassination
Attack
Domestic security
Drill
Exercise
Cops
Law enforcement
Authorities
Disaster assistance
Disaster management
DNDO (Domestic Nuclear Detection Office)
National preparedness
Mitigation
Prevention
Response
Recovery
Dirty bomb
Domestic nuclear detection
Emergency management
Emergency response
First responder
Homeland security
Maritime domain awareness (MDA)
National preparedness initiative
Militia Shooting
Shots fired
Evacuation
Deaths
Hostage
Explosion (explosive)
Police
Disaster medical assistance team (DMAT)
Organized crime
Gangs
National security
State of emergency
Security
Breach
Threat
Standoff
SWAT
Screening
Lockdown
Bomb (squad or threat)
Crash
Looting
Riot
Emergency
Landing
Pipe bomb
Incident
Facility
Hazmat
Nuclear
Chemical spill
Suspicious package/device
Toxic
National laboratory
Nuclear facility
Nuclear threat
Cloud
Plume
Radiation
Radioactive
Leak
Biological infection (or event)
Chemical
Chemical burn
Biological
Epidemic
Hazardous
Hazardous material incident
Industrial spill
Infection
Powder (white)
Gas
Spillover
Anthrax
Blister agent
Chemical agent
Exposure
Burn
Nerve agent
Ricin
Sarin
North Korea
Outbreak
Contamination
Exposure
Virus
Evacuation
Bacteria
Recall
Ebola
Food Poisoning
Foot and Mouth (FMD)
H5N1
Avian
Flu
Salmonella
Small Pox
Plague
Human to human
Human to Animal
Influenza
Center for Disease Control (CDC)
Drug Administration (FDA)
Public Health
Toxic Agro
Terror Tuberculosis (TB)
Agriculture
Listeria
Symptoms
Mutation
Resistant
Antiviral
Wave
Pandemic
Infection
Water/air borne
Sick
Swine
Pork
Strain
Quarantine
H1N1
Vaccine
Tamiflu
Norvo Virus
Epidemic
World Health Organization (WHO) (and components)
Viral Hemorrhagic Fever
E. Coli
Infrastructure security
Airport
CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources)
AMTRAK
Collapse
Computer infrastructure
Communications infrastructure
Telecommunications
Critical infrastructure
National infrastructure
Metro
WMATA
Airplane (and derivatives)
Chemical fire
Subway
BART
MARTA
Port Authority
NBIC (National Biosurveillance Integration Center)
Transportation security
Grid
Power
Smart
Body scanner
Electric
Failure or outage
Black out
Brown out
Port
Dock
Bridge
Cancelled
Delays
Service disruption
Power lines
Drug cartel
Violence
Gang
Drug
Narcotics
Cocaine
Marijuana
Heroin
Border
Mexico
Cartel
Southwest
Juarez
Sinaloa
Tijuana
Torreon
Yuma
Tucson
Decapitated
U.S. Consulate
Consular
El Paso
Fort Hancock
San Diego
Ciudad Juarez
Nogales
Sonora
Colombia
Mara salvatrucha
MS13 or MS-13
Drug war
Mexican army
Methamphetamine
Cartel de Golfo
Gulf Cartel
La Familia
Reynosa
Nuevo Leon
Narcos
Narco banners (Spanish equivalents)
Los Zetas
Shootout
Execution
Gunfight
Trafficking
Kidnap
Calderon
Reyosa
Bust
Tamaulipas
Meth Lab
Drug trade
Illegal immigrants
Smuggling (smugglers)
Matamoros
Michoacana
Guzman
Arellano-Felix
Beltran-Leyva
Barrio Azteca
Artistic Assassins
Mexicles
New Federation
Terrorism
Al Qaeda (all spellings)
Terror
Attack
Iraq
Afghanistan
Iran
Pakistan
Agro
Environmental terrorist
Eco terrorism
Conventional weapon
Target
Weapons grade
Dirty bomb
Enriched
Nuclear
Chemical weapon
Biological weapon
Ammonium nitrate
Improvised explosive device
IED (Improvised Explosive Device)
Abu Sayyaf
Hamas
FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia)
IRA (Irish Republican Army)
ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna)
Basque Separatists
Hezbollah
Tamil Tigers
PLF (Palestine Liberation Front)
PLO (Palestine Liberation Organization
Car bomb
Jihad
Taliban
Weapons cache
Suicide bomber
Suicide attack
Suspicious substance
AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian Peninsula)
AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb)
TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan)
Yemen
Pirates
Extremism
Somalia
Nigeria
Radicals
Al-Shabaab
Home grown
Plot
Nationalist
Recruitment
Fundamentalism
Islamist
Emergency
Hurricane
Tornado
Twister
Tsunami
Earthquake
Tremor
Flood
Storm
Crest
Temblor
Extreme weather
Forest fire
Brush fire
Ice
Stranded/Stuck
Help
Hail
Wildfire
Tsunami Warning Center
Magnitude
Avalanche
Typhoon
Shelter-in-place
Disaster
Snow
Blizzard
Sleet
Mud slide or Mudslide
Erosion
Power outage
Brown out
Warning
Watch
Lightening
Aid
Relief
Closure
Interstate
Burst
Emergency Broadcast System
Cyber security
Botnet
DDOS (dedicated denial of service)
Denial of service
Malware
Virus
Trojan
Keylogger
Cyber Command
2600
Spammer
Phishing
Rootkit
Phreaking
Cain and abel
Brute forcing
Mysql injection
Cyber attack
Cyber terror
Hacker
China
Conficker
Worm
Scammers
Social media

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Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:21 | 2481220 VonManstein
VonManstein's picture

scanning the list for "gold" ans "silver"

anyone find?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:23 | 2481223 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

"birth certificate"

meanwhile, reactor 2 starts acting up again:

http://enenews.com/tepco-email-possible-re-criticality-in-reactor-no-2

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:28 | 2481253 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

dang...that's a pretty fucked up list...

i'll see you all in guantanamo bay, bitchezzz!!!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:43 | 2481347 Manthong
Manthong's picture

..and "tits" doesn't even belong on the list.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:49 | 2481374 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

Yep it's there .."BUST"...as in Dolly Parton ...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:53 | 2481620 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

this is such bullshit! 
[paste} After vigorous resistance, the Department of Homeland Security was finally forced into releasing it’s 2011 Analyst’s Desktop Binder. It’s a manual of sorts, teaching all the storm troopers who monitor our Internet activity all day which key words to look for. {

after fighting like hell, this MUST be true?
hahaha!
how dumb do they think we are?
thanks anyhow, simon!

however, if true, this = best copy/paste e-mail evah?
going viral much?  the zH chainLetter?  L0L!!!

just in case, send it, BiCheZ!  

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:57 | 2481638 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

tracebook?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:28 | 2481710 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

L0L!!!

pirates is on the list!  but not pi-rat

suuuuure...

traceBerg? 

let's go with: traceBergen_belsen, ok, X_ba?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:36 | 2481729 hamurobby
hamurobby's picture

I with ya, I cant spell most them words eider.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:09 | 2481790 ndotken
ndotken's picture

I quickly scanned the list and didn't see any of the words in the phrase "Fuck you Ben Bernanke you total fucking asshole" ... so I guess I'm safe.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 21:44 | 2482110 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

"bitchez" is not on the list.

There is still hope....

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 22:14 | 2482195 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

and 'Brown Out' s on there twice...

Luckily, 'Hang the bastards' isn't...

Hang the bastards, that's what I say...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 22:19 | 2482228 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

More than one meaning on that first one; I don't really want to get into the details... imagine some poor slob sharting in an elevator.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 22:23 | 2482245 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

imagine standing beside some poor slob sharting in an elevator...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 02:20 | 2482666 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Is a plot plans for the future, or a six-foot hole?

Why ain't ANFO on that list?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 21:57 | 2482152 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

I was bummed to see "Hacker" on the list. See you all at the you-know-what camp.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 22:11 | 2482205 Ookspay
Ookspay's picture

LMFAO!

Uhhhh Pi-Rat, I think they have your IP address in their fave's list! Put some tape over your web cam lens!

Boo!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:15 | 2481679 BigJim
BigJim's picture

"Dear Aunt Gullible,

I have heard that, in their neverending quest to keep us safe, the elves at Homeland Security have compiled a list of words that terrorists might use.

It's important that we all know what these words are, so I attach a list of them here, and hope you will forward these on to as many friends as possible, in turn asking each of them to forward it on to all their friends, etc.

Now, because SPAM filters block large numbers of identical emails, it's important for each 'generation' of Homeland Securetah e-mail Helpa™ to mix the words around so they don't accidentally get deleted by someone's SPAM filter. We wouldn't want even a single one of these lists not to reach the intended recipient, would we? Lives are at stake here!!!!!

Hope your tripes have settled since we last met,

God Bless,

Your Loving Cousin Loki x"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:23 | 2481697 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

way2keepitLowKey, Loki

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:27 | 2481708 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

put some of the words in everything you write just to spam them like they deserve for their unconstitutional actions.

Example...

I wonder if Al-queda will bust a terrorist dirty bomb with plane crashes on 12/21/2012?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:14 | 2481813 SaveTheBales
SaveTheBales's picture

Naw.  Just get a couple of computers to e-mail each other all nite.

They'll learn.  This ain't 1968.  There's more than one programmer now.  A technology race against the public is pretty much unwinnable.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:50 | 2481378 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

No "Project Mayhem" on the list? 

WTF?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:55 | 2481402 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

I for one am glad someone is looking at AMTRACK.  It's time the gubmint stopped featherbedding the wallets of parasite railroad companies.  

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:31 | 2481549 Michael
Michael's picture

See something say something.

Call Fairfax County Virgina Sherriff's office and report criminal activity at the Builderberg meeting.

Multiple violations of federal law are taking place there, specifically of the Logan Act.

Sedition and treason are being perpetrated by elected government officials, one namely John Kerry at attendence plotting criminal activity against the USA.

http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/sheriff/

Call Sheriff Stan Barry, demand he do his duty and arrest those Federal government officials for violating US Law!

http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/sheriff/contactus.htm

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:33 | 2481717 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

whoever junked may just be a vigilante who wants to see you go make citizen's arrests, M, rather than give the toy-boys more e-mail addresses

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:05 | 2481782 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Anyone else find it weird that NWO, TPTB, Bilderberg, Rothschild, etc aren't on there?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:31 | 2481867 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Those words are on the double-secret list. You're now marked. Good luck.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:47 | 2481921 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Yeah this public list is bullshit.  No 911 inside job, Ron Paul, gold, fuck Bernanke?  Get real.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:35 | 2481568 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Bloated Bureaucracies Behaving Badly.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:53 | 2481629 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

Shoe    Grunties    Megaphone

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:06 | 2481713 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

hey, knock it off. Our own home grown amerikan Stasi are sensitive types...

"analysts should also catalog items which may “reflect adversely on DHS.”

Sticks and stones gentlemen...and if you don't have anything nice to say (or anything that doesn't involve one of the 377 proscribed words) then don't say anything....(unless you SEE SOMETHING™.....or something like that)

....and for god's sake don't use the word MEXICO anymore!

...oh shit

_________

Dear DHS, do you people know that i write?

If you still find the amerikan peeple too chatty for your liking after dissemination of "The List™ ("The List™ is Life"), here are some further words for your ever-vigilant consideration....

spam

crime

appropriate

Blankfein

Frank

Dodd

Pink

slime

floyd

perpendicular

stool

bankster

pledge

allegiance

flag

justice

miracle

whip

taxpayer


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:16 | 2481812 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I see what you did there, me likey.

 

claw

money

grab

bag

flight

risk

back

holder

bend

over

counter

risk

freedom

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:08 | 2481475 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

Bogata is on the list.... twice.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:21 | 2481694 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture

Fort Hancock is on the list. That means Steven Knig is a terrorist because of "The Shawshank Redemption."

Dear God, do you realize that if Zihuatanejo is #278 he was this close to ending up in Gitmo.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:50 | 2481752 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"Bogata is on the list.... twice"

must have nice whores down there...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:41 | 2481589 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

"I love tits!"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:49 | 2481615 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Would the context for tits be "Tango Uniform?"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:05 | 2481656 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

it looks like this politicaly correct group of assholes....have every word but the seven...so i will assume the coast is clear to say ..fuck these cocksucking pieces of shit...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:46 | 2481356 Rich Bagg
Rich Bagg's picture

Piss shit cunt cocksucker motherfucker fuck tits 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:17 | 2481501 Al Gorerhythm
Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:59 | 2481963 Uncle Sugar
Uncle Sugar's picture

Le Petit Tourette is better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF0UqyC2uBk

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 21:59 | 2482159 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

OMFG!!!! Cartman says @29 secs in "Suck my ass, BART"!!! (Oooops). ROTFLMO. Perfect. There's spittle all over my screen.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:29 | 2481578 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Your word cloud (oops) was a sick (oops) response (oops). BART (oops) Chilton is a worm (oops). I would have called him a Piss shit cunt cocksucker motherfucker fuck tits but you stole my thunder.

Edit:http://www.silverdoctors.com/bart-chilton-silver-investigation-to-conclu...

BART (oops), the Piss shit cunt cocksucker motherfucker fuck tits, announces that he would have taken action long ago if it were up to him, against these silver manipulators. 

 

"I expect the investigation to conclude in 2-3 months, if not sooner. As you know, I can’t take an action by myself (I would have done so long ago if that were the case). It takes at least 3 of the 5 Commissioners.".

What he is saying is that there is proof to the claim but he can't get the 4 other corrupt Piss shit cunt cocksucker motherfucker fuck tits to support him. Whistleblow BART (oops) or just blow me.

 

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:47 | 2481751 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

What he is saying is distraction.  If he really had principals, or character, he'd be feeding some aspiring future Pulitzer prize winner (Tabini would do) with incriminating evidence, and then taking protection under the whistle-blower laws. 

He's their main method of stalling, and I hope he roasts with the rest of them.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:20 | 2481690 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

London Olympics 2012 Stellar Wind Jon Corzine gyrotron semtex Emile Autouri signals intelligence Julie Newmar Fort Meade thermobaric Hedy Lamarr terror bomb Farrah Fawcett anthrax Guantanamo shopping mall polonium Charles Nelson Reilly claymore mine Dirty Sanchez grenade launcher lutefisk IED assassinate Studebaker Hoch hijack Al Qaida Joyce DeWitt ricin SMERSH electromagnetic pulse Wink Martindale Hezbollah Federal Reserve CIA border Mossad Lady Gaga detonator Lemmiwinks Santorum calutron June Foray plutonium Juarez Bank for International Settlements Cayman Islands MANPADS nuclear trigger Cleveland Steamer crop duster Howard Cosell Forex Myrna Loy Fx Trading borax LMAX parrot and parakeet training tape International Monetary Fund carbuncle RPG clostridium Olde Frothingslosh ebola Joey Heatherton Dimona smuggle roachclip Butthole Surfers bongwater National Reconnaissance Office Don Rickles Backstreet Boys jimsonweed Edward G. Robinson steganography Lily Langtry Captain Beefheart 27B-6 Lee van Cleef kaopectate

[cough]

...pardon me.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 22:11 | 2482208 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Hedy Lamarr...that Teutonic twat!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 02:26 | 2482673 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"That's Hedley, Hedley Lamar!"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 23:49 | 2482475 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

I sure hope I'm not the only one here that reads every word in that paragraph, grinning all the way to the end!

pork.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:24 | 2481234 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Remember, this is the 2011 list. For 2012, add:

Ron Paul

Facebook short

JP Morgan short

Gold

Silver 

PPT

Tyler Durden

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:29 | 2481261 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

and the bernank.  don't forget the bernank!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!