Guest Post: Uncle Sam Admits Monitoring You For These 377 Words

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Simon Black from Sovereign Man

Uncle Sam Admits Monitoring You For These 377 Words

One of breakout standup routines from the late, great George Carlin was his 1972 monologue “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.” In the presence of polite company, I shall not repeat them… but rest assured, the routine is still hilarious to this day.

I wish I could say the same about the Department of Homeland Security… I wish I could say this is all a big joke… that the government’s “377 words you can never use online” is just some stupid comedy routine.

But it’s not. And you just can’t make this stuff.

After vigorous resistance, the Department of Homeland Security was finally forced into releasing it’s 2011 Analyst’s Desktop Binder. It’s a manual of sorts, teaching all the storm troopers who monitor our Internet activity all day which key words to look for.

Facebook, a.k.a. the US government’s domestic intelligence center, is the primary target for this monitoring… though it’s become clear so many times before that various departments, including the NSA and FBI, are monitoring online activity ranging from search terms to emails.

Domestic spying is typically denied in public and swept under the rug. After all, it’s legality has always been questionable… if not entirely Unconstitutional.

Yet month after month it seems, there is new legislation introduced to deprive Internet users of their privacy and make the open collection of data a natural part of the online landscape.

Homeland Security’s key word ‘hotlist’ is really no surprise… they’re just the ones to get caught.

So now we know, at least, what these goons are looking for. Sort of.

According to the manual, DHS breaks down its monitoring into a whopping 14 categories ranging from Health to Fire to Terrorism. It’s a testament to how bloated the department’s scope has become.

Afterwards there is a list of 377 of key terms to monitor, most of which are completely innocuous. Exercise. Cloud. Leak. Sick. Organization. Pork. Bridge. Smart. Tucson. Target. China. Social media.

Curiously, in its ‘Critical Information Requirements’, the manual decrees that analysts should also catalog items which may “reflect adversely on DHS and response activities.”

Absolutely unreal. Big Brother is not just watching. He’s digging, searching, reading, monitoring, archiving, and judging too.

Have you hit your breaking point yet?

= Complete list of DHS monitoring keywords =

Department of Homeland Security (DHS)
Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)
Coast Guard (USCG)
Customs and Border Protection (CBP)
Border Patrol
Secret Service (USSS)
National Operations Center (NOC)
Homeland Defense
Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE)
Agent
Task Force
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)
Fusion Center
Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA)
Secure Border Initiative (SBI)
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms (ATF)
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS)
Federal Air Marshal Service (FAMS)
Transportation Security Administration (TSA)
Air Marshal
Federal Aviation Administration (FAA)
National Guard
Red Cross
United Nations (UN)
Assassination
Attack
Domestic security
Drill
Exercise
Cops
Law enforcement
Authorities
Disaster assistance
Disaster management
DNDO (Domestic Nuclear Detection Office)
National preparedness
Mitigation
Prevention
Response
Recovery
Dirty bomb
Domestic nuclear detection
Emergency management
Emergency response
First responder
Homeland security
Maritime domain awareness (MDA)
National preparedness initiative
Militia Shooting
Shots fired
Evacuation
Deaths
Hostage
Explosion (explosive)
Police
Disaster medical assistance team (DMAT)
Organized crime
Gangs
National security
State of emergency
Security
Breach
Threat
Standoff
SWAT
Screening
Lockdown
Bomb (squad or threat)
Crash
Looting
Riot
Emergency
Landing
Pipe bomb
Incident
Facility
Hazmat
Nuclear
Chemical spill
Suspicious package/device
Toxic
National laboratory
Nuclear facility
Nuclear threat
Cloud
Plume
Radiation
Radioactive
Leak
Biological infection (or event)
Chemical
Chemical burn
Biological
Epidemic
Hazardous
Hazardous material incident
Industrial spill
Infection
Powder (white)
Gas
Spillover
Anthrax
Blister agent
Chemical agent
Exposure
Burn
Nerve agent
Ricin
Sarin
North Korea
Outbreak
Contamination
Exposure
Virus
Evacuation
Bacteria
Recall
Ebola
Food Poisoning
Foot and Mouth (FMD)
H5N1
Avian
Flu
Salmonella
Small Pox
Plague
Human to human
Human to Animal
Influenza
Center for Disease Control (CDC)
Drug Administration (FDA)
Public Health
Toxic Agro
Terror Tuberculosis (TB)
Agriculture
Listeria
Symptoms
Mutation
Resistant
Antiviral
Wave
Pandemic
Infection
Water/air borne
Sick
Swine
Pork
Strain
Quarantine
H1N1
Vaccine
Tamiflu
Norvo Virus
Epidemic
World Health Organization (WHO) (and components)
Viral Hemorrhagic Fever
E. Coli
Infrastructure security
Airport
CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources)
AMTRAK
Collapse
Computer infrastructure
Communications infrastructure
Telecommunications
Critical infrastructure
National infrastructure
Metro
WMATA
Airplane (and derivatives)
Chemical fire
Subway
BART
MARTA
Port Authority
NBIC (National Biosurveillance Integration Center)
Transportation security
Grid
Power
Smart
Body scanner
Electric
Failure or outage
Black out
Brown out
Port
Dock
Bridge
Cancelled
Delays
Service disruption
Power lines
Drug cartel
Violence
Gang
Drug
Narcotics
Cocaine
Marijuana
Heroin
Border
Mexico
Cartel
Southwest
Juarez
Sinaloa
Tijuana
Torreon
Yuma
Tucson
Decapitated
U.S. Consulate
Consular
El Paso
Fort Hancock
San Diego
Ciudad Juarez
Nogales
Sonora
Colombia
Mara salvatrucha
MS13 or MS-13
Drug war
Mexican army
Methamphetamine
Cartel de Golfo
Gulf Cartel
La Familia
Reynosa
Nuevo Leon
Narcos
Narco banners (Spanish equivalents)
Los Zetas
Shootout
Execution
Gunfight
Trafficking
Kidnap
Calderon
Reyosa
Bust
Tamaulipas
Meth Lab
Drug trade
Illegal immigrants
Smuggling (smugglers)
Matamoros
Michoacana
Guzman
Arellano-Felix
Beltran-Leyva
Barrio Azteca
Artistic Assassins
Mexicles
New Federation
Terrorism
Al Qaeda (all spellings)
Terror
Attack
Iraq
Afghanistan
Iran
Pakistan
Agro
Environmental terrorist
Eco terrorism
Conventional weapon
Target
Weapons grade
Dirty bomb
Enriched
Nuclear
Chemical weapon
Biological weapon
Ammonium nitrate
Improvised explosive device
IED (Improvised Explosive Device)
Abu Sayyaf
Hamas
FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia)
IRA (Irish Republican Army)
ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna)
Basque Separatists
Hezbollah
Tamil Tigers
PLF (Palestine Liberation Front)
PLO (Palestine Liberation Organization
Car bomb
Jihad
Taliban
Weapons cache
Suicide bomber
Suicide attack
Suspicious substance
AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian Peninsula)
AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb)
TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan)
Yemen
Pirates
Extremism
Somalia
Nigeria
Radicals
Al-Shabaab
Home grown
Plot
Nationalist
Recruitment
Fundamentalism
Islamist
Emergency
Hurricane
Tornado
Twister
Tsunami
Earthquake
Tremor
Flood
Storm
Crest
Temblor
Extreme weather
Forest fire
Brush fire
Ice
Stranded/Stuck
Help
Hail
Wildfire
Tsunami Warning Center
Magnitude
Avalanche
Typhoon
Shelter-in-place
Disaster
Snow
Blizzard
Sleet
Mud slide or Mudslide
Erosion
Power outage
Brown out
Warning
Watch
Lightening
Aid
Relief
Closure
Interstate
Burst
Emergency Broadcast System
Cyber security
Botnet
DDOS (dedicated denial of service)
Denial of service
Malware
Virus
Trojan
Keylogger
Cyber Command
2600
Spammer
Phishing
Rootkit
Phreaking
Cain and abel
Brute forcing
Mysql injection
Cyber attack
Cyber terror
Hacker
China
Conficker
Worm
Scammers
Social media

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Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:37 | 2481284 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

If only this colossal waste of money was even among the worst actions of our government.  Sadly, I fear it is not the case.

Any DHS employee with an IQ above 90 should be embarrassed by this list.  How could they not be?

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:33 | 2481286 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Just disgusting what we have turned into.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:33 | 2481287 TonyCoitus
TonyCoitus's picture

Pussy, tits, and ass not included on list.........whew, I'm safe!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:37 | 2481317 Negro Primero
Negro Primero's picture

nope, there's another list for those!

http://deadspin.com/kollege-kops/

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:34 | 2481293 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Tyler: You forgot to mention that the Pig Latin version of all 377 words is even more heavily monitored and in fact can make the author subject to immediate detention without charge. Hehe...they're not stupid

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:34 | 2481295 Cursive
Cursive's picture

"pr0n" was on the original list, but the filters were stuck on the SEC mail server.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:35 | 2481301 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I mean some of these are insane ......... snow ? mudslide ? phreaking ? social media ??? the number 2600 ?????? .......... ROFL

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:38 | 2481577 bdc63
bdc63's picture

hmmmm .... maybe its really some Dan Brown type list of "hint" words that we're really supposed to "solve" ...

have I gone off the deep end? ...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:36 | 2481310 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

remember when you just couldnt shout FIRE in a crowded movie theatre........home of the free and brave, my fucking ass !

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:37 | 2481732 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Yup, now you're not allowed to shout 'SNOW', either.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:36 | 2481312 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

Well how about that.

 

I can still use blade, stab, maim and kill.

 

I killed the run switch and stabbed at the reset button, but only maimed my hand on the whirling fan blade.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:37 | 2481315 Shock and Aweful
Shock and Aweful's picture

I wonder if one of the spellings they look for might be "AL-CIA-DA"?

Honestly....how freaking ridiculous is it that we even allow our government to behave this way?

This says more about our nation as a whole than it does about the government - they are just doing what they do...and that is.....whatever we let them.

I heard a pretty good suggestion the other day about how to passively resist this type of nonsense...

Everyone should copy this list of words paste them into every thing they type on the "internets" - anywhere and everywhere.

Kinda like a spam attack on the NSA servers.....

 

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:52 | 2481368 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture

That means that the War-Merchants that have the contracts, will claim too many hits and renegotiate their contracts and hire a few more thousands of searchers.

Unless of course they are on Time and Material or cost plus in which case they can just invoice whatever. They have been known to pad the workers' salaries as high as X2.8 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:40 | 2481584 bdc63
bdc63's picture

"Honestly...how freaking ridiculous is it that we even allow our government to behave this way?"

Amen to that. (yikes -- is "amen" on the list?)

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:09 | 2481669 Noktirnal
Noktirnal's picture

No surprise to me. The People haven't controlled this government in my lifetime.

"Failure or outage"??? really? Do these have to be used together in that order, or does the word "or" stand alone? Obvious that DHS made this list. Multiple duplicates, more than one word on a line... how efficient.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:38 | 2481320 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Also, adding the prefix "YoMama eats" in front of any of the 377 words does not protect the author from being charged with being a potential combatant. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:38 | 2481322 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

This doesn't make any sense. I don't think anyone I know hasn't used some of those words, especially people who live in San Diego, California (Earthquake? Really?) Are they just making a list somewhere of who uses any of these words? Is there some kind of frequency analysis? Either way, it doesn't make a damn lick of sense.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:54 | 2481397 Clycntct
Clycntct's picture

Think of it like this.

They are monitoring you. Now what can they do to say you triggered an aleart?

See told you you were guilty.

Nuff said.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:39 | 2481324 SumSUN
SumSUN's picture

I wonder how a poem would sound using only those words.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:41 | 2481333 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

They beat George Carlin by 370.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:34 | 2481562 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

He was smart funny.

They are stupid funny.

Am I intimidated yet?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:40 | 2481327 KandiRaverHipster
KandiRaverHipster's picture

wtf are Mexicles?

ALSO,

DDOS (dedicated denial of service)

seriously?  dedicated?  it's DISTRIBUTED!  officially, i've lost all hope. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:35 | 2481498 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

I think I found an answer to your first question...

97 illegal immigrants found in chilled trailer

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-07-30-arizona-immigrants_N.htm

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:30 | 2481545 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

>>>>>>wtf are Mexicles?

Short for mexican testicles.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:36 | 2481573 Tigranes
Tigranes's picture

Mexicles of Monterreyopolis was a Mexican-Greek philospher. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:39 | 2481328 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

What? Janet's request for Dieseldyke and Fur-Trader to be included in the hotlist was denied?!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:54 | 2481401 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture

They also skiped a bike-in-a-ditch as opposed to a dyke-on-a-b......

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 20:13 | 2481807 Edelweiss
Edelweiss's picture

  Not to mention muff diver, and carpet muncher.  +1 to Fred Garvin......male prostitute.  May he be an inspiration to us all. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:40 | 2481330 samsara
samsara's picture

I think everyone should copy the list and include them as a footer for every email you send....

You will end up using several of them in normal corrispondance anyway.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:41 | 2481336 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Reminds me of that great song Rocked by Rape

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:41 | 2481337 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

it's ok if your from Kenya.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:41 | 2481340 SRVDisciple
SRVDisciple's picture

Whew. At least "bacon" is not on the list. Yet.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:33 | 2481557 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

mmmmmm... bacon!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 00:48 | 2482566 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

psst. . . but what if there's a reason?

pork.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:43 | 2481344 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Good to know that it's still okay to spam the Internet regarding the following: Bilderberg, Illuminati, CFR, FreeMasons, Knights Templar, Trilateral Commission, New World Order, Agenda 21, etc. Okay, I'll put away my tinfoil hat for today...

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 03:49 | 2482735 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Don't forget Extraterrestrial, HAARP, Stuxnet and Israël...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:43 | 2481346 Transformer
Transformer's picture

Why not just copy the list and send the whole thing to everyone on your address book, asking them to do the same?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:47 | 2481364 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I would guess that just a few terms is better than the whole list to get around exclusion filters.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:04 | 2481457 CPL
CPL's picture

I think we should write a steamy romance novel using the 377 words and then we make it go viral.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:46 | 2481358 walcott
walcott's picture

did hooters make the list?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:36 | 2481571 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Bust is on the list.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:47 | 2481362 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

2600?   whats that about?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:49 | 2481372 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I think it the average monthly per capita inflation tax in USD.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:51 | 2481386 jo6pac
jo6pac's picture

See above about comment 10 or so

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 21:57 | 2481366 technicalanarchy
technicalanarchy's picture

Wow what an awesome list they have developed, they are certainly brilliant.

Is that the real list? That can't be the real list.

Sending an email or posting that "I have a rootkit on my computer, how do I get it off" gets the looked at as much as "I have packaged a rootkit to install on a million computers" (I have not btw)

They are going to be busy on facebook.

There may not be enough agents hireable to weed through and vet all the "I went to Target today and look what I got..." and all the likes on "crest" toothpaste will have to be evaluated?

Where is Alice? Are we Alice?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:48 | 2481369 BlackVoid
BlackVoid's picture

Anyone actually believe that this is the real list?!?

LOL.

 

More lies.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:48 | 2481370 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

and the government "workers" couldn't alphabetize the list. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:08 | 2481480 CPL
CPL's picture

That's not defined in that guy's union role and there was no way he was stepping over the union line for less than an automatical title change, directorship and a silo staff of one contractor doing the work and ten useless oxygen recycling unit under the same union.

 

...shit that came out wrong...I meant to say, that work request can only be carried out by committee after and change review board approves the secondary changes to the adjuctment while making sure the contractor meets everyone's dead lines.

 

I get that mixed up all the time.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 03:15 | 2482707 mkhs
mkhs's picture

You made a mistake.  It is not an oxygen recycler, but a carbon dioxide converter unit.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!