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Guest Post: What Do Bankers Dream Of?
Submitted by Pebblewriter
What Do Bankers Dream Of?
When Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf sleeps, he dreams -- like all good bankers -- about numbers. He probably doesn't dream about the number 600 -- the number of foreclosure packages signed each day by his robosigners. He probably doesn't dream about 14,420 -- the number of conveyance claims fraudulently submitted to HUD in exchange for $1.7 billion from the FHA [Inspector General report.]
And, he almost certainly doesn't dream about his share of laughably small $25 billion penalty he and his fellow bankers might pay to slough off legal liability for the millions of Americans they've helped make homeless (don't know why they're bellyaching...they're all getting $2,000!)
No, I imagine the number he fixates on is 35 -- the third rail around which his stock seems to go into spasms every time it gets close. I'm exaggerating, of course; it's only happened three of the last four times since November 2007. The other time, in September '08, the stock soared right through 35 to nearly 45 -- before plunging to 7.80 six months later.
See that yellow resistance line? At least that's what we call it. To Stumpf, it's a 625-volt reminder of all the ugliness of the past five years: bailouts, the Occupy Wall Street protests, and that humiliating testimony before Congress (what's a fella gotta do to buy off a few Congressmen?)
Stumpf might be dreaming about 35 a lot this week, as the stock's edging toward that buzzing rail yet again. And, darn it, did the SEC have to pick this week to file that subpoena to compel him to hand over the documents he promised in regards to a $60 billion fraud investigation? Now, with earnings coming up in a couple of weeks?
That reminds me of another number, 13 -- as in the number of times WFC got zapped after reporting earnings in the last 17 quarters. Earnings reports that came in the vicinity of that third rail have been particularly dangerous.
Let's not forget 6,867,990 -- the number of shares of Stumpf's WFC stock and options that'll be worth considerably more if the 35 price point is breached. A 22 cent bump will make up for the horrendous pay cut he's seen suffered the past two years (from $21.3 million to $19.8 million, and we all know how tough it is to live on a lousy $54,000 a day!)
Hey, how about $85 million -- the amount the Federal Reserve Bank fined Wells Fargo last year?
And, $25 billion -- the low-interest loan the Fed slipped Wells Fargo a few years back when its survival seemed iffy.
Which brings to mind $29.4 million, the amount the money-center banks spent on lobbying in 2010 (not including the ABA.)
Then there's $19.8 billion -- the amount of hyper-hypothecation exposure on Wells Fargo's books, 17% of Tier 1 capital?
Which reminds me -- $1,274,000,000 in pre-tax trading losses for 2011.
And, lest we forget -- $2.8 trillion notional in derivatives on the books.
I could go on all night, but I think you see where I'm going with this. We should all keep John Stumpf in our thoughts and prayers; with all those numbers to think about, the poor guy might have trouble getting a good night's sleep. Somehow, I think he'll manage as long as he sees $35 in the rear-view mirror...and soon.
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Last i heard - Spanish escorts.
Close but wrong. Midget porn is the correct answer.
I would tell you a story about it but I have to plead the fif, just like that bitch from MFG
Hopefully extreme nightmares of their customers Returning to Real Money.
The real reason you pay an income tax, is for the privilege of using a private currency.
Also known As A: Federal Reserve Note
Demand from your bank or brokerage, lawful money and the tax goes away, with a tax exemption on lawful money, all of your money is yours.
http://www.21silver.com/?show=merrill&read=federal_reserve_act_remedy
http://stormthunder.com/federal-reserve-act/
Tax Exemption: http://stormthunder.com/federal-reserve-act/#ixzz1pOYzDgEm
Web search these three different phrases:
Redeemed in Lawful money or
Redeemed in Lawful money Pursuant to Title 12 USC §411 or
deposited for credit on account or exchanged for
non-negotiable federal reserve notes of face value
Because they have small dicks, they dream of being a BSD "big swinging dicks" like Gordon Gekko or Steve Jobs.
They pull everyone else into the miserable game.
Hand in the air.....I know this!!!!
Stealing billions from the customer accounts........and moving to France.....while my peeps take the 5th.
Do I win something?
what observers learned today regarding MF Global --
What a Clusterfuck -- they tell you it's a segregated account -- but the funds are co-mingled. It's NOT SEGREGATED - IT'S A LIE - IT'S THAT SIMPLE!!!
"segregated account" therefore - is a 'marketing term' a 'sales pitch' A LIE !!!
Take it a step further.... these so-called accounting rules aren't rules...they serve the purpose of giving the impression of soundness and safety - when in fact, they serve to allow co-mingling of so-called segregated funds...
The 'rules' themselves are gimmicks, sales pitches, marketing slogans -- the rules themselves are LIES !!!!
There's the solution -- MFG customers can sue for fraud -- they were marketed to by having the accounts called segregated -- it's fraud! Total misrepresentation.
Ummm....sure, they could sue MFG, but only if they could find a lawyer that was not a complete scum bucket. Harder than you might think. And even if they do sue, by time the scum fuck lawyer was done dragging it out and bilking everyone, various TBTF banks will have already picked over the carcass of MFG and there will be nothing left with which MFG could pay out.
No, I think the quicker those farmers come to realize that their money is gone, the better off they will be. Just another victim of the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street. Man, the bodies sure are piling up.
I agree with you about the difficulties in suing... but i'm thinking they can go after more than just MFG -- the entire industry is complicit in marketing accounts as segregated when they obviously are not. All the money is pooled/sloshed/gambled/leveraged/ and stolen from. That's an undeniable fact.
Whoa Cdad - don't condemn the whole profession. You'd be surprised how many felllow lawyers I talk to who are utterly opposed to the bullshit that it going on - they are not unlike U.S military officers, begrudingly obeying orders but keeping a close eye on what is fair and what is not. trust me on this. A fifth column ready to spring into action, if you will, when the rebellion comes.
The lawyers who have sold out, and there are many of them, were lost souls before they became lawyers. They were criminals first, lawyers second.
JPMorgan is the first and obvious target.
They took money without receiving the legal assurances from MFG they acknowledged were valid concerns when they first requested the delivery of said assurances.
The first hammer should be criminal prosecution on JPM via mail and wire fraud investigations which will guarantee that they will cough up any formerly 'vaporized' proceeds that they will then just happen to find held in trust to avoid such prosecution.
This would provide at least $200M in capital to mitigate the losses for victims of the segregated looting and provide cooperative witnesses on the JPM side for further civil and criminal pursuit of Corzine et al...
This is what every Banker dreams of.
Scrooge McDuck is a Keynesian nightmare, a hoarder of wealth, a person who values gold and only spends on what he truly needs.
Donald Duck is a Keynesian dream citizen, spending everything he gets, always up to his ears in debt and still asking for more.
Not to mention the countless time he burns down his house, blows up the margarine factory or causes a flood in the city of Duckburg, i.e. stimulates the economy, as Krugman would say.
Yeah, they fear this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYJKd0rkKss&feature=related
Cause he doesn't run out and buy IPad's on credit.
Free fluffy bunny now, his extradition was illegal!
How about 1, the number of people attending that fraud-faggot's birthday. I could be off if Uncle Cheeseburger shows up, but that usually means you're buying his lunch.
Wells Fraudo -- capitalism aborted, bums rewarded.
Wells Fargo ... puts the 'w' into banking....
i wish some wannabe banksy ( banksy, not bankster) no, make that a
thousand wannabe banksys would get some yellow paint and hit those
new red and yellow wells fargo signs with a nice hammer and sickle right
above the stage coach. i viualize it everytime i drive by.
JPMorgan Chase (JPM) CEO James Dimon took home a cool $42 million, including a $1 million base salary, a $5 million bonus, $579,624 in perks, $22.9 million in value$12.5 million in value realized on the vesting of stock options.
Read more: http://www.minyanville.com/businessmarkets/articles/thestreet-financial-stocks-bank-stocks-ceo/5/19/2011/id/34653#ixzz1qSNmgOozstepping in for MDB.
Didn't he deserve it?
Good article :)
Electric sheep.
@confused
Muppets!
(well done, Pebble!)
Electric fiat.
Banker's wet dream.
Strauss-Kahn deams of (censored).
i'd like to dream about the number 99 - the number of years the crook spends in a maximum security cell....
Nice sentiment but I'd rather have a MINIMUM security cell, one that would allow the shivs better access I.e. Jeffrey Dahmer's exit from this world. Gosh, too much time on this site and one really goes to the dark side...at least I'll have a few friends in Hell.
I'd of thought by now it was obvious but apparently not.
Bankers dream that their credit is as good as gold, so by & large, their dreams have come true
Bankers are hot
Bankers don't dream because blood suckers don't sleep.
Goy Slaves?
Free Money from the FED? No! Money from the FED that PAYS THEM TO BARROW!! ala' Tax Credits.
Mark to Market.. by their (Banker) Rules?
Esquire William Black resigned to Occupy Wall Street meetings, instead of Congressional Hearings or Judicial Prosecutions?
Secret Non-Segregated Customer Accounts?
Not quite sure what they dream of other then deluded visions of grandeur. I do know they count sheeple right before they go to bed though...baaaaaaahaaaaaa
I hope their worst nightmare comes true.
Did El Greco leave Greece for a better life in Spain?
The Spanish Housing Crises has 40% to 60% yet to fall looks like:
http://www.businessinsider.com/chart-of-the-day-spanish-housing-index-20...
"Citi's Willem Buiter is out with a big call on Spain, and how things are going to get much worse, and how ultimately the country will need outside assistance in some way. Given that Spain is much bigger than Greece, this is a very big deal."
"One key element of his call relates to real estate, and his belief that the collapse in that market is not done. In fact, he doesn't even think it's close."
http://people.bethel.edu/~rooway/Renaissance%20test%203/proto%20baroque/...
As I understand it, Spain apparently does mortgage lending differently than most western countries. Spanish banks often require co-signers. So a housing collapse there has much bigger ripple effects than on just the (former) homeowners. Swell.
O/T All eyes on Ireland this Friday to see compliance rates with the new property tax/bankster enrichment scheme. Should be fun. Erin, go bankster.
The only way to grind these bank fukkerz down is to pay cash. Don't give them retailer debit fees. Don't use your credit card unless absolutely necessary. They grind the retailer for that too. Never pay finance charges. I say it over and over to people bitching about the banks. Don't let your little habits and conveniences prevent you from doing your part. Buy what you need and not what you want...and do it with cash.
( end of rant )
And just what do you think cash is, not the credit of the Federal Reserve Bank or something?
This is about the fees bank charge on both ends of transactions. If everybody reduces their card usage by even 25% that will hit the bankers right on the revenue line. I don't know why it doesn't occur to people that this crusade has to involve guerilla warfare by consumers....otherwise, nothing changes.
Vote with your wallet.
It's the only vote that counts!
To use an analogy, like a vampire you have to strike through the heart. Shunning commercial bank credit whilst hoarding Federal Reserve credit (you need to hoard it to later spend it) will achieve nothing, it just makes the Fed grow stronger & the Fed's job is to keep the existing system 'functioning'.
Not exactly. While the cash alternative is still inferior (for the reasons you cite) it does have the virtue of depriving commercial banks of revenue. The Fed is the banksters' servant. Hurt the master and you hurt the servant.
Until a functioning gold/silver medium of exchange begins functioning, a cash-based transaction, while second best, it still better than a CC transaction. It removes at least 1% to 3% vig off the top of the deal (more for the gold-plated cards).
So make it function man. You won't do that until you deprive the central bank, so commercial bank & lastly but not leastly the government of revenue.
Shun the credit of the government & its central bank.
I think the key part in Rainman's comment was- "Buy what you need and not what you want" the "...and do it with cash" was just a small improvement.
Counting sheep.
Consider helping these good people?
Confusion is not a disease.
Confusion is an affliction.
http://news.firedoglake.com/2012/03/28/rand-paul-lonely-voice-against-wa...
$1.27 Billion in trading losses? As in P&L? Jesus, Mary and Joseph; somebody should just put them out of their misery. Oh wait, the market tried to do that, but the Fed propped up the Corpse again. Jeez, thanks guys; I don't know how we'd get along without these hosers. I'd sure like to find out, tho.
What do bankers dream of?
You in leg shackles tending the company store while watching Linda Green sign Ambidexrously.
When again do we get to hang these traitors?
What do Bankers dream about?
An endless supply of muppets willing to pay 18-21% in interest on fully secured by collateral (that continually appreciates) that would never ever dream of missing a payment or defaulting.
Alternately - they dream of having an AAPL stock multiple without having to innovate or sell anything.
... if only there was a way to make conterfeiting legal ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
By the time WFC dies the only remaining big banks will be it and JPM and possibly USB.
C, BAC, MS etc. will have all died long before it. Look at your charts. Wells didn't even break its 2010 lows in 2011. Not many banks can say that. I know markets don't mean what they used to but that still says something.
The dream of being slave owners. Revolt.
Is he the one that is building the bunker on Cook island to avoid prosecution.
They love anagrams and palindromes ...also of course sacred geometry and astrology,
'Ben Shalom Bernanke'
one interesting anagram that came up:
'Hes Banker Nobleman'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobleman
IMO
A Ankh Semen Nobblerseems more appropriate
35?....Are you sure it's not 33?
They dream of huge tracts of land. Except in their case they really do dream of huge tracts of land.
Stumpfy sweat-dreams of those $80 Billion in HELOCs that one day will not be suspended in frozen animation by phony accounting games --and all those thousands of upside down houses with LTVs way above 100%, which will soon get foreclosed on by the first mortgage holders, officially rendering his junior HELOCs (and WFC equity) worthless.
What a sham Wells has been all these years. Feigning to be more conservative than their peers... Yeah, like in Bernanke is more conservative than Bernie Madoff...
Stumpf is dreaming of his future in hell.
Easy. Transexual maids.
What do they dream of? A continuation of the current "heads I win, tails you lose" paradygm until every bit of wealth on this planet is in their hands.
Main St. still dreams of subprime borrower bailouts, no accountability, and homes for free. Let's stop blaming banks like we've been doing for almost 4 years. They dangled the carrot, but we were the asses that kept walking.
It would seem that the way a soul celebrates Mothers Day depends to a capacious extent on whether they understand its actualized meaning mother day messages