Guest Post: Woman Pepper Sprays Shoppers To Get Xbox

Tyler Durden's picture

From Brandon Smith of Alt Market

Woman Pepper Sprays Shoppers To Get Xbox


It never fails.  Every Black Friday we get yet another heaping helping of pure unadulterated ignorant mentally deficient bottom feeding fat-saturated sheeple mania.  Every year it gets worse.  And, every holiday season I am faced with the painful question of whether or not these people are actually worth saving.  My answer so far has always been a begrudging "yes".  Many of them have been conditioned by a society on the brink of collapse, not just of economy, but also of conscience.  That doesn't mean, however, that I excuse this kind of behavior.  Frankly, if some mongoloid Wal-Mart shopper tried to pepper spray me in the face for a video game, I would beat them into cranberry sauce and drink some delicious eggnog to celebrate.  Is this a well balanced response?  Probably not.  But then again, they would likely think twice before pulling the same stunt on anyone else.  Actually, in my humble opinion, at least half the population of this country needs a good a smack upside the head.  Seriously......this situation is getting uncomfortably crooked.......

Imagine how these same people might act in the event that they not only get no Xbox, but no food due to financial instability.  Imagine a 200 pound spoiled toddler with an addiction to immediate gratification being told "you are owed nothing".  The response would probably be similar to (or even worse than) a large portion of the American populace as featured in the videos below:

And for more Black Friday despair, check out the rap sheet for Wal-Marts across the country yesterday:

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LawsofPhysics's picture

Time to harvest the soylent green, oh yeah, bitches.


"Imagine a 200 pound spoiled toddler with an addiction to immediate gratification being told you are owed nothing. " - Slow moving soylent green.

knight99's picture

This whole thing is fking pathetic . Pepper spraying for x box games for your kids, give me a break. How about teaching your kids about finance and how to survive in this brave new world. How about instead of zombyfing your children to sit in front of the TV you actually spend time with them. I am more than capable of affording an XBOX but don’t plan on having one in my house. When my kids turn 7 or 8 will teach tem the art of negotiation and how to trade the markets or at least how to read a chart. Real life skills you don’t get by watching TV or in school for that matter.



WestVillageIdiot's picture

I could teach a dog to play Mozart on a harpsichord easier than you could teach most of these people to be good parents or valuable members of society. 

Spastica Rex's picture

Does that link have anything to do with Kim Kardashian?




In all seriousness, the article uses the term "war on militancy," I'd never heard that term before.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

From the article:

'Relations between the United States and Pakistan, its ally in the war on militancy, have been strained following the killing of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden by U.S. special forces in a raid on the Pakistani garrison town of Abbottabad in May, which Pakistan called a flagrant violation of sovereignty.'

There is no way in hell that anybody proof-read this before pushing the 'send' button.

redpill's picture

Hey, there are casualties in Target too


"A man collapsed while doing some Black Friday shopping in a crowded store, and people nearby continued to shop.

Witnesses tell some shoppers walked around and even over the man's body."


No wonder the apes are destined to overturn our civilization and use us as slaves.

nope-1004's picture

Overweight, fat, lazy, conditioned RATS scurrying around Walmart looking for cheap Chinese-made crumbs.

We are doomed.


knukles's picture

So it was all right for me to bash the lady shoppers on the head with an xBox whist scrambling for the Pepper Spray?

Things that go bump's picture

De rigueur in polite society.

Haywood Jablowme's picture



Haywood Jablowme's picture


Next year, I plan to go to Walmart, Target, and Best Buy and release some FART SPRAY right in front of the mother fuckin' game console and flat screen tv sections.*&cid=17796288297190431933

Amazon has a good deal on "LIQUID ASS" as well...



Harlequin001's picture

Why would you bother with that?

Michael's picture

I believe a good use of Agent Provocateurs would be in black friday situations like this to get the shoppers fighting with each other. Someone could yell out, Free Videos in isle 10, or something like that, to get the herd stomping each other.

buyingsterling's picture

"Liquid ass" - I had a mouthful of soda and was already struggling to contain it after reading about fart spray (another one of those products where you wonder why no one made it years ago!) Liquid ass led to aspiration and projectile spray.

chumbawamba's picture

Two things:

1) I'm with the bitch who pepper sprayed everyone.  Those savages deserved it, so fuck them.

2) It occured to me that if this somehow manages to continue as a tradition, a new hobby of Black Friday Watching will spring up, where additional people will show up at the stores simply to observe and film the carnage that will ensue, then sell the videos on the black market (they will have been illegalized to "discourage" bringing more people to the scene) as a sole source of income.  The buyers will include many of those who were filmed engaging in death matches for the last copy of Call of Duty.

Ok, and a third thing:

c) If I were an employee at one of these stores, I would seriously consider quitting, if it were not for the fact that the economy is so bad that you'd likely be committing financial suicide.  But at some point, these people have to realize that they are putting their lives in danger by going to work at a retail establishment.  Miners, high-rise construction workers, cops (pigs), and career military folks, among other professions, are ones in which one might be expected to die while carrying out their occupation, but mongering consumer goods post-Thanksgiving?

I am Chumbawamba.

redpill's picture

Hell, Walmart could put smallpox blankets on sale in the bedding isle and these dumb fuckers would buy a whole stack of them.  Manifest destiny!

chumbawamba's picture

Hmmm, that is a really good point.  This might actually be a system of conditioned response to be utilized for targetted population reduction, in which case I do not object.

I am Chumbawamba.

americanspirit's picture

Now don't go giving those darned terrorists any more brilliant ideas redpill.

Sean7k's picture

Yeah, the US government doesn't need anymore suggestions...

Vlad Tepid's picture

It'd only be a matter of time before the herd demanded a super-size to those smallpox.

Michael's picture

I enjoy watching the carnage , trampling to death , and general mayhem of Black Friday shopping episodes from the comfort of my man cave. The reports and video will probably be coming in all weekend for me to enjoy. I have a special fondness for the trampling, but this year certainly did not disappoint with the creativeness of the sheeple shenanigans reality show. Great entertainment value.

CompassionateFascist's picture

People buying crap they don't need with money they don't have. I believe last year a Walmart "Greeter" was trampled to death by this human refuse. Fortunately, the Big Die-off/Kill-off is coming.

Yamaha's picture

I enjoy it also - my wife has gone out for the last two years on black Friday and she keeps coming home......shit!  Wrong stores...........

Triggernometry's picture

Its amazing how cheap most people will sell their values for.

redpill's picture

You are too optimistic; your comment suggests they had some values to begin with.

Landrew's picture

What is even worse, she did NOT get a deal! You can get the same deal online without leaving home! I thought this must be really something this x-box, sadly it is not a big deal or a good deal. Talk about trading your values for nothing. Very sad. I do understand what is happening, you could not even get away from the Black Friday crap even here on ZH. The hype is overwhelming for many. To think your whole self-image is connected to a shopping day. If I don't buy this thing I am nothing, very sad. I blame the media as well, it seemed even more over the top this year?

Harlequin001's picture

and you give these people the right to own guns?

DionysusDevotee's picture

For better or for worse, they are born with it.

oldschool's picture

Right, and more to the point, so are we.

Max Hunter's picture

and you give these people the right to own guns?

Thank god I have the right to own a gun.. a few of them.. that could take out a whole crowd of walmart shoppers in less than 30 seconds..

redpill's picture


"Relations between the United States and Pakistan, its ally in the war on militancy,"


I don't remember us declaring a war on "militancy," do you?  At least "terrorism" is a somewhat specific tactic.  Militancy? 


[mil-i-tuhnt] Show IPA adjective
1. vigorously active and aggressive, especially in support of a cause: militant reformers. 2. engaged in warfare; fighting. noun 3. a militant person. 4. a person engaged in warfare or combat.

Bananamerican's picture

"In all seriousness, the article uses the term "war on militancy," I'd never heard that term before."

They ran out of Terrorists™, Spastica...

now they're down to "militants"...

soon it will be "malcontents" and the merely "annoying"

knukles's picture

Some of my uber-liberal golf buds are really fucking annoyingly militiant about social justice

LeBalance's picture

as everyone is on the "list" they made up the "you are not on the list" list

to save time.


Bananamerican's picture

"then they came for the douchebags and there was no one left to speak up for me"

although what niemoller said of the nazis originally reminds me of some of the Righty trolls who show up here occasionally...

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

NuckingFuts's picture

Then they came for the bitches, and we were all fucked.

Vlad Tepid's picture

Can't they start with the annoying first?

Sean7k's picture

We would have to declare war on ourself..oh wait, we have done that. My bad.

ViewfromUndertheBridge's picture

Your war on militancy quote is now edited out, they must read ZH. For me, this remaining quote is the zinger:

However, Pakistani military spokesman Major-General Athar Abbas said NATO had been given maps of the area, with Pakistani military posts identified.


"When the other side is saying there is a doubt about this, there is no doubt about it. These posts have been marked and handed over to the other side for marking on their maps and are clearly inside Pakistani territory."

So, that makes Al-Qaeda/Taliban the other, other side?

Sounds like NATO might have hit their intended target in the AfPak war. Pakistan wants it both ways, well, they're getting it.

Ceteris paribus's picture

Why do we care, the police do it all the time - so she had an advantage it is obviously not illegal as shown on campus, also do we really care about the poeple she did it to?   just being there shopping says a lot about you after all  "you can't fix stupid"

Mark123's picture

So, does that mean we should attack ourselves?

tarsubil's picture

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Kill two birds with one stone? Advertise $1 waffle makers going on sale in the back of C17s across the nation!

swissbene's picture

more or less the plan. free xbox with enlistment plus the coolest new war shoot em up game that doubles as low cost training and recruiting material. armed services generally able to recruit at will during low employment / depression economy.

Hugh_Jorgan's picture

C'mon Turd! It's only the beginnings of the military phase of WW3! Videos of the bad behavior of the human equivalent of cockroaches scurrying after cheap material goods is really the news of the day after all.

Turd Ferguson's picture

And, as a followup from Tuesday, we have this from the media arm of The Mossad:


americanspirit's picture

Good enough Turd, but this Debka piece doesn't mention the three Russian nuclear subs that have been in the area since Turkey began making noises about interfering with Israeli drilling near Cyprus. These guys are going to start sinking each other by simple collisions even if they don't start shooting.