Guest Post: Woman Pepper Sprays Shoppers To Get Xbox

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Sat, 11/26/2011 - 12:27 | 1915182 LawsofPhysics
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Time to harvest the soylent green, oh yeah, bitches.


"Imagine a 200 pound spoiled toddler with an addiction to immediate gratification being told you are owed nothing. " - Slow moving soylent green.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 12:40 | 1915219 knight99
knight99's picture

This whole thing is fking pathetic . Pepper spraying for x box games for your kids, give me a break. How about teaching your kids about finance and how to survive in this brave new world. How about instead of zombyfing your children to sit in front of the TV you actually spend time with them. I am more than capable of affording an XBOX but don’t plan on having one in my house. When my kids turn 7 or 8 will teach tem the art of negotiation and how to trade the markets or at least how to read a chart. Real life skills you don’t get by watching TV or in school for that matter.



Sat, 11/26/2011 - 12:42 | 1915229 WestVillageIdiot
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I could teach a dog to play Mozart on a harpsichord easier than you could teach most of these people to be good parents or valuable members of society. 

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 12:44 | 1915237 Turd Ferguson
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This story is, perhaps, slightly more important.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 12:50 | 1915257 Spastica Rex
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Does that link have anything to do with Kim Kardashian?




In all seriousness, the article uses the term "war on militancy," I'd never heard that term before.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:02 | 1915303 GeneMarchbanks
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From the article:

'Relations between the United States and Pakistan, its ally in the war on militancy, have been strained following the killing of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden by U.S. special forces in a raid on the Pakistani garrison town of Abbottabad in May, which Pakistan called a flagrant violation of sovereignty.'

There is no way in hell that anybody proof-read this before pushing the 'send' button.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:11 | 1915329 redpill
redpill's picture

Hey, there are casualties in Target too


"A man collapsed while doing some Black Friday shopping in a crowded store, and people nearby continued to shop.

Witnesses tell some shoppers walked around and even over the man's body."


No wonder the apes are destined to overturn our civilization and use us as slaves.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:38 | 1915380 nope-1004
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Overweight, fat, lazy, conditioned RATS scurrying around Walmart looking for cheap Chinese-made crumbs.

We are doomed.


Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:42 | 1915391 knukles
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So it was all right for me to bash the lady shoppers on the head with an xBox whist scrambling for the Pepper Spray?

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:56 | 1915426 Things that go bump
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De rigueur in polite society.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:37 | 1915677 Haywood Jablowme
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Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:57 | 1915704 Haywood Jablowme
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Next year, I plan to go to Walmart, Target, and Best Buy and release some FART SPRAY right in front of the mother fuckin' game console and flat screen tv sections.*&cid=17796288297190431933

Amazon has a good deal on "LIQUID ASS" as well...



Sat, 11/26/2011 - 16:01 | 1915729 Harlequin001
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Why would you bother with that?

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 16:04 | 1915736 Michael
Michael's picture

I believe a good use of Agent Provocateurs would be in black friday situations like this to get the shoppers fighting with each other. Someone could yell out, Free Videos in isle 10, or something like that, to get the herd stomping each other.

Sun, 11/27/2011 - 01:22 | 1916914 buyingsterling
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"Liquid ass" - I had a mouthful of soda and was already struggling to contain it after reading about fart spray (another one of those products where you wonder why no one made it years ago!) Liquid ass led to aspiration and projectile spray.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:46 | 1915399 chumbawamba
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Two things:

1) I'm with the bitch who pepper sprayed everyone.  Those savages deserved it, so fuck them.

2) It occured to me that if this somehow manages to continue as a tradition, a new hobby of Black Friday Watching will spring up, where additional people will show up at the stores simply to observe and film the carnage that will ensue, then sell the videos on the black market (they will have been illegalized to "discourage" bringing more people to the scene) as a sole source of income.  The buyers will include many of those who were filmed engaging in death matches for the last copy of Call of Duty.

Ok, and a third thing:

c) If I were an employee at one of these stores, I would seriously consider quitting, if it were not for the fact that the economy is so bad that you'd likely be committing financial suicide.  But at some point, these people have to realize that they are putting their lives in danger by going to work at a retail establishment.  Miners, high-rise construction workers, cops (pigs), and career military folks, among other professions, are ones in which one might be expected to die while carrying out their occupation, but mongering consumer goods post-Thanksgiving?

I am Chumbawamba.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:56 | 1915427 redpill
redpill's picture

Hell, Walmart could put smallpox blankets on sale in the bedding isle and these dumb fuckers would buy a whole stack of them.  Manifest destiny!

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 14:34 | 1915520 chumbawamba
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Hmmm, that is a really good point.  This might actually be a system of conditioned response to be utilized for targetted population reduction, in which case I do not object.

I am Chumbawamba.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:21 | 1915643 americanspirit
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Now don't go giving those darned terrorists any more brilliant ideas redpill.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:32 | 1915666 Sean7k
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Yeah, the US government doesn't need anymore suggestions...

Sun, 11/27/2011 - 00:53 | 1916862 Vlad Tepid
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It'd only be a matter of time before the herd demanded a super-size to those smallpox.

Sun, 11/27/2011 - 01:25 | 1916921 buyingsterling
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literally lol


Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:49 | 1915703 Michael
Michael's picture

I enjoy watching the carnage , trampling to death , and general mayhem of Black Friday shopping episodes from the comfort of my man cave. The reports and video will probably be coming in all weekend for me to enjoy. I have a special fondness for the trampling, but this year certainly did not disappoint with the creativeness of the sheeple shenanigans reality show. Great entertainment value.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 19:13 | 1916198 CompassionateFascist
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People buying crap they don't need with money they don't have. I believe last year a Walmart "Greeter" was trampled to death by this human refuse. Fortunately, the Big Die-off/Kill-off is coming.

Sun, 11/27/2011 - 13:07 | 1917712 Yamaha
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I enjoy it also - my wife has gone out for the last two years on black Friday and she keeps coming home......shit!  Wrong stores...........

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:41 | 1915388 Triggernometry
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Its amazing how cheap most people will sell their values for.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:56 | 1915429 redpill
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You are too optimistic; your comment suggests they had some values to begin with.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 14:09 | 1915454 Landrew
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What is even worse, she did NOT get a deal! You can get the same deal online without leaving home! I thought this must be really something this x-box, sadly it is not a big deal or a good deal. Talk about trading your values for nothing. Very sad. I do understand what is happening, you could not even get away from the Black Friday crap even here on ZH. The hype is overwhelming for many. To think your whole self-image is connected to a shopping day. If I don't buy this thing I am nothing, very sad. I blame the media as well, it seemed even more over the top this year?

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:51 | 1915706 Harlequin001
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and you give these people the right to own guns?

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 16:48 | 1915830 DionysusDevotee
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For better or for worse, they are born with it.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 18:57 | 1916154 oldschool
oldschool's picture

Right, and more to the point, so are we.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 21:08 | 1916387 fnord88
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babies with bazookaz?

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 19:02 | 1916172 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

and you give these people the right to own guns?

Thank god I have the right to own a gun.. a few of them.. that could take out a whole crowd of walmart shoppers in less than 30 seconds..

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:22 | 1915352 redpill
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"Relations between the United States and Pakistan, its ally in the war on militancy,"


I don't remember us declaring a war on "militancy," do you?  At least "terrorism" is a somewhat specific tactic.  Militancy? 


[mil-i-tuhnt] Show IPA adjective
1. vigorously active and aggressive, especially in support of a cause: militant reformers. 2. engaged in warfare; fighting. noun 3. a militant person. 4. a person engaged in warfare or combat.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:40 | 1915370 Bananamerican
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"In all seriousness, the article uses the term "war on militancy," I'd never heard that term before."

They ran out of Terrorists™, Spastica...

now they're down to "militants"...

soon it will be "malcontents" and the merely "annoying"

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:43 | 1915396 knukles
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Some of my uber-liberal golf buds are really fucking annoyingly militiant about social justice

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:53 | 1915416 Spastica Rex
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Shit, I'll be on that list.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:05 | 1915603 LeBalance
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as everyone is on the "list" they made up the "you are not on the list" list

to save time.


Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:26 | 1915653 Bananamerican
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"then they came for the douchebags and there was no one left to speak up for me"

although what niemoller said of the nazis originally reminds me of some of the Righty trolls who show up here occasionally...

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 16:07 | 1915748 NuckingFuts
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Then they came for the bitches, and we were all fucked.

Sun, 11/27/2011 - 00:55 | 1916869 Vlad Tepid
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Can't they start with the annoying first?

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:34 | 1915671 Sean7k
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We would have to declare war on ourself..oh wait, we have done that. My bad.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 21:54 | 1916477 ViewfromUnderth...
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Your war on militancy quote is now edited out, they must read ZH. For me, this remaining quote is the zinger:

However, Pakistani military spokesman Major-General Athar Abbas said NATO had been given maps of the area, with Pakistani military posts identified.


"When the other side is saying there is a doubt about this, there is no doubt about it. These posts have been marked and handed over to the other side for marking on their maps and are clearly inside Pakistani territory."

So, that makes Al-Qaeda/Taliban the other, other side?

Sounds like NATO might have hit their intended target in the AfPak war. Pakistan wants it both ways, well, they're getting it.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:50 | 1915410 Ceteris paribus
Ceteris paribus's picture

Why do we care, the police do it all the time - so she had an advantage it is obviously not illegal as shown on campus, also do we really care about the poeple she did it to?   just being there shopping says a lot about you after all  "you can't fix stupid"

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 14:06 | 1915450 Mark123
Mark123's picture

So, does that mean we should attack ourselves?

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 12:48 | 1915260 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Kill two birds with one stone? Advertise $1 waffle makers going on sale in the back of C17s across the nation!

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:42 | 1915392 swissbene
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more or less the plan. free xbox with enlistment plus the coolest new war shoot em up game that doubles as low cost training and recruiting material. armed services generally able to recruit at will during low employment / depression economy.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:16 | 1915339 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

C'mon Turd! It's only the beginnings of the military phase of WW3! Videos of the bad behavior of the human equivalent of cockroaches scurrying after cheap material goods is really the news of the day after all.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 13:23 | 1915357 Turd Ferguson
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And, as a followup from Tuesday, we have this from the media arm of The Mossad:


Sat, 11/26/2011 - 15:26 | 1915652 americanspirit
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Good enough Turd, but this Debka piece doesn't mention the three Russian nuclear subs that have been in the area since Turkey began making noises about interfering with Israeli drilling near Cyprus. These guys are going to start sinking each other by simple collisions even if they don't start shooting.

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