Harvard Plunges Into Samsung Circle Of Hell As Record 125 Undergrads Probed For Plagiarism

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Think massive intellectual CTRL-C -> CTRL-V'ing occurs only in the highly rarefied air of smartphonism? Think again (via Bloomberg):

  • HARVARD PLAGIARISM PROBE UNDER WAY FOR ABOUT 125 CLASSMATES
  • STUDENTS UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR COPYING ON FINAL EXAM
  • THOSE FOUND TO HAVE PLAGIARIZED MAY FACE 1-YEAR WITHDRAWAL
  • MOST WIDESPREAD CHEATING SCANDAL IN LIVING MEMORY

We are confident that as soon as said 125 classmates threaten to take down the "highly intellectual" world with them and expose all the other plagiarists if they go down, there will be a congressional hearing on the matter asap. Perhaps it is time for Harvard to change its motto from Veritas to Copytas?

 

From Bloomberg:

Most widespread cheating scandal in living memory, college officials said today.

 

All the students, who were in a course with more than 250 enrolled, will face hearings before Harvard ’s Administrative Board, Jay Harris, dean of undergraduate education at the Cambridge, Massachusetts-based school, said today in an interview

 

Finally, is it Crimson, or Crime-son? Or do the entitled not care to know the difference?

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Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:18 | 2750550 machineh
machineh's picture

Mitt and Barack, to name two ...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:52 | 2750642 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

MIT rules!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:17 | 2750702 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Can't say about Harvard, but I knew a Radcliff gal who could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Ah, Jack's Place...R.I.P.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:41 | 2751292 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Was it a Titleist?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:40 | 2750415 ACP
ACP's picture

Doesn't that make them all "uniquely qualified" to run for office?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:12 | 2750528 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture

 

 

lol or work at a news organization

Fareed Zakaria: Another plagiarism scandal, another wrist slap

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:14 | 2750691 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Young single mothers need some place to go and be processed into more promising future tax livestock.

Three of them yesterday, eating lunch together between classes at the local UTC. Strollers in tow, talking about their next opportunity to create more replicants.

/sigh.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:44 | 2751297 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Replicants would be far more productive.   I would take a Nexus-6 like Roy Batty over say a Trayvon or Jamal.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:33 | 2751277 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Very Smart In, less Smart Out. As long as Harvard didn't ruin them too much, Harvard takes full credit. Medieval does as always.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 22:56 | 2751403 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Obama got through somehow...

 

FORWARD SOVIET!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:12 | 2750294 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Zuckerberg would be proud

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:24 | 2750341 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Do Jews plagiarize?  Awe fuck man.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:41 | 2750617 viahj
viahj's picture

i dunno but the Christians and Muslims sure did.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:16 | 2750697 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Festivus bytchez!!!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:13 | 2750295 metastar
metastar's picture

In the corporate world it's being called being a lazy thief and it is encouraged.

Harvard is simply preparing it's students for the real world. Why do something when you can have someone else do it for you! Just ask anyone in government.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:03 | 2750499 Assetman
Assetman's picture

In the real world, the DoJ would have fined these students 0.009% of their parents income.

Slackers... these kids end of getting a year of vacation and an extra years worth of private college inflation.

 

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:50 | 2751621 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

The "it's good enough for them, so it's good enough for me" attitude that these people have is also the reason why the damn sub-prime mortgage backed securities got so out of control and blew up.

No one wanted to even ask: well wait, what the fuck ARE these?  It was good enough for the asshole down the street, so it is good enough for me too.

This type of thinking and this bullshit happens over and over. There are too many fuck sticks in this world who do not think for themselves and they are the majority who are bringing the fucking roof down.

 

 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:14 | 2750300 Lohn Jocke
Lohn Jocke's picture

Original comments bitchez

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:30 | 2750747 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Original comments bitchez

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:15 | 2750308 edifice
edifice's picture

A-students work for the C-students, and B-students work for the government.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:40 | 2750414 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

 A-students work for the C-students

My son had a nice little cottage industry doing just that for the lazy affluent at his HS.

From his original oratory: Public vs. Private Education

"Spit-wads, incompetent teachers, and lame sophomoric sex jokes. Public education has devolved into little more than a place where parents dump their snotty kids off: a "glorified daycare" if you will."

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:18 | 2750710 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Glorified daycare indeed.

+1 for the post, and +Divide by ZERO for your son.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 22:26 | 2751360 FRBNYrCROOKS
FRBNYrCROOKS's picture

infinity or undefined?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:17 | 2750709 Slightly Insane
Slightly Insane's picture

Evidently you have had very, very limited exposure and experience with the Government.  I would say that the lower 30 - 35% of college graduates are represented in Government.  Have you ever witnessed a trial with a "public defender"?  It is not like the TV shows.  If you've ever been over to the DMV, or any of the other county offices, you would come to learn that they love to hire the "intellectually challenged", as well as those folks who just don't fit the criteria for welfare, so they give them a job, (many of them are inbreeds of relatives in higher offices).

 

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:51 | 2751620 edifice
edifice's picture

It was a joke; a catchy phrase. I try to stay as far away from government as possible—especially the legal system—but I have had the typical middle-class-white-guy's exposure to it. As to government hiring intellectually challenged individuals... Well... They have quotas to meet.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:16 | 2750314 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Harvard, it's not what you know, rather who you know and who your daddy is.  "Shocker"

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:22 | 2750333 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

There's more to Harvard than that if you go through the admission data.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:26 | 2750348 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Harvard is Jews, affirmative action 95 IQ dolts like Obama, and a few white crazy liberals and a token Republican white male in there somewhere. 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:54 | 2750458 madcows
madcows's picture

Asians.  Dude.  You forgot the Asians.  Oh, and the People of Color (Chief Lizzy Warren)... the pasty white lady who's whiter than an Irishman in dead of winter.  That's called diversity.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:25 | 2750568 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

"These Harvard assholes don't know shit." - - - Gordon Gecko - 1st Wall Street movie

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:19 | 2751310 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I knew one grad very well. Turned into a con artist.  He said AA ruined the medical school.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:52 | 2750793 bobnoxy
bobnoxy's picture

''Harvard is Jews, affirmative action 95 IQ dolts like Obama, and a few white crazy liberals and a token Republican white male in there somewhere. ''

Congratulations! Yours is the dumbest fucking comment in here all day. It's amazing you haven't accidentally killed yourself a dozen times over, but I'm guessing you're young yet.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:30 | 2750366 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Right, that's why my niece, who was originally declined, was accepted after her father (Harvard MBA class of 84, now venture capitalist) met with the dean.  Must have pointed out some of the more salient points about her application they missed the first time around.  

But I digress, water will find it's own level and she lasted only one year.  Still, one wonders who got bumped to accomodate her?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:34 | 2750389 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Fuck that must have been a expensive lunch for daddy.

 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:56 | 2750469 madcows
madcows's picture

He takes 1% of everyone's 401k to underperform the market.  I think he can afford it.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:45 | 2750426 optimator
optimator's picture

That's why the Freshman class is usually much larger than the senior class.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:06 | 2750505 Assetman
Assetman's picture

Hopefully the person that got bumped got admission to MIT... a much better school.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:24 | 2750342 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Legacies get in only if Mummy and Daddy have donated large sums of fiat already.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:36 | 2750381 economics9698
economics9698's picture

If you graduate Occidental College and have a fake degree from Columbia and a terrorist donates large sums of cash on your behalf I hear you get a first class ticket in.

 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:52 | 2750912 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

He didn't go directly to law school after he graduated, instead he had a several year stint as a community organizer in Chicago.  I'm sure if you get in with right people people in Illinois government doing that, you're a shoo-in.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:16 | 2750315 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Facebook will hire all 125

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:22 | 2750719 resurger
resurger's picture

 

40° 47? 28? N, 73° 52? 58? W
40.791111, -73.882778



Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:17 | 2750318 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Fact: College is for dummies.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:34 | 2750757 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

As I always say, college is where stupid people go to get a piece of paper that says it doesn't matter.

What's funny is all of the smart people that I've told that to, who think I've just insulted them.

Then I get to explain both logic (I didn't say all people in college were stupid), and economics (these stupid people increased demand, thus driving up prices that you paid, all while devaluing the degree) to them.

 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 22:05 | 2751328 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

"Fact: College is for dummies."

I thought it was for partying and chasing co-eds. (Very worthwhile pursuits.)

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:18 | 2750322 Hyper Entropy
Hyper Entropy's picture

Harvard scum can eat it. MIT Bitchez!!!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:20 | 2750326 jayman21
jayman21's picture

Why is this a surprse?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:09 | 2750512 madcows
madcows's picture

It's not.  What is surprising is that the info got out. 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:20 | 2750328 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

But but but they are the smartest kids in the room. How could this be?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:23 | 2750329 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"125 New Interns to be Hired at Goldman Sachs"

This group won't require much training - they already know how to cheat. Just need some work on the "not getting caught" part.

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