Harvard Plunges Into Samsung Circle Of Hell As Record 125 Undergrads Probed For Plagiarism

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Think massive intellectual CTRL-C -> CTRL-V'ing occurs only in the highly rarefied air of smartphonism? Think again (via Bloomberg):

  • HARVARD PLAGIARISM PROBE UNDER WAY FOR ABOUT 125 CLASSMATES
  • STUDENTS UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR COPYING ON FINAL EXAM
  • THOSE FOUND TO HAVE PLAGIARIZED MAY FACE 1-YEAR WITHDRAWAL
  • MOST WIDESPREAD CHEATING SCANDAL IN LIVING MEMORY

We are confident that as soon as said 125 classmates threaten to take down the "highly intellectual" world with them and expose all the other plagiarists if they go down, there will be a congressional hearing on the matter asap. Perhaps it is time for Harvard to change its motto from Veritas to Copytas?

 

From Bloomberg:

Most widespread cheating scandal in living memory, college officials said today.

 

All the students, who were in a course with more than 250 enrolled, will face hearings before Harvard ’s Administrative Board, Jay Harris, dean of undergraduate education at the Cambridge, Massachusetts-based school, said today in an interview

 

Finally, is it Crimson, or Crime-son? Or do the entitled not care to know the difference?

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Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:28 | 2750577 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

They will say they didnt know where the info was plagiarised from...
Case dismissed

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:11 | 2751524 Mentalic
Mentalic's picture

This brings up an important point...Someone had posted a link  to an article about 2 teenagers robbing a 9-yr old girl scout of her money....There was a video interview of the 2 teenage robbers, and on being asked if given a chance would she have done something differently....she replied..."Ya, like not getting caught"...

Can you f***ing believe that? She didn't have any f***ing remorse over what she did....her main thought is not to get caught next time...A prime candidate for the Vampire Squid...

What is this world coming to?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:46 | 2751614 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

What is the world coming to? Same place it goes every time the people in charge teach that there is no such thing as good or evil, and that all value systems are equally correct.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 02:01 | 2751640 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

theres gonna be a whole lot of killin' IF people get their lazy asses around to it...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:22 | 2750331 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Tip of the iceberg.

 

But it's all good, Teddy Kennedy got thrown out for cheating and look where he wound up. Same with Joe Biden (not at Harvard, though). Then there is "Xeroxin' Doris Kearns Goodwin", pride of Radcliffe.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:17 | 2751447 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Doris Kearns Good win is a Kennedy apologist c*nt and a plagarist.  Another reason I dropped TV years ago. Full on propaganda 24x7 on all channels.  The F**king Matrix.

Hey Tylers how do I turn off the Mugabe 2012 banner ads.  How about more Snorg T shirt banner ads with the girls with big breast-ests?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:21 | 2750332 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

125/250? My maths skills tell me only half the class cheated. That's good news, isn't it? 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:28 | 2750358 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Only 125 were caught. 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:34 | 2750390 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

The other half bribed their way out.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:40 | 2750413 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

... with the money they got from selling their answers to the first half...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:23 | 2750335 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Knowledge is good.

Emil Faber

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:27 | 2750354 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.

 

Dean Wormer

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:29 | 2750368 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Beat me to it.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:31 | 2750379 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture

...this next one is called, "Shama-lamma-ding-dong", 

so...

h i t   i t .

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:32 | 2750380 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

May we dance with your dates?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:51 | 2751076 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

See if you can guess what I am now...

Packs mouth with food, pats cheeks, spits it all out

I'm a zit, get it?

 

The Harvard edition:

See if you can guess what I am now...

Packs pockets with money, pats grad assistant on ass for test answers, spits all answers on half the class for money

I'm a future Goldman, Sachs employee, get it?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:23 | 2750339 Harry Paratestes
Harry Paratestes's picture

Hope they were not copying an economic thesis of Larry Summers

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:29 | 2750369 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

SCREW U (HARVARD)

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:33 | 2750383 optimator
optimator's picture

If any of them are bounced outta Haavaad and have to work for a living I want to be there when they ask the crew boss which way to turn the screw, clockwise or counter clockwise!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:27 | 2750739 Slightly Insane
Slightly Insane's picture

Yeah no shit!

That would prove that they're all harvtards .... ready for public sector work (because the private sector has no use for them).

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:23 | 2750340 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Being from hahhhh-vad means never having to apologize for anything, and acting like you're the smartest polished turd in the room, along with having all the sanctimonious, smug feelings of self-superiority that comes with it.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:31 | 2750378 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Well, Larry Summers certainly agrees with you.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:32 | 2750382 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

ECONOMICUS FAT SLOBICUS

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:36 | 2750398 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

He looks like Fatbastard

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:49 | 2750442 madcows
madcows's picture

Is that a turtle poking his head out?  No, no.  It's his Harvard degree.  It ain't worth the paper it's shitted on.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:13 | 2750532 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

FREE MONIES get in me BELLY!!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:49 | 2750787 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

http://youtu.be/pP3VAtGLQms College Swingin da alphabet

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:25 | 2750731 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

This made him the perfect match to be Obama's econ advisor.

Long on Solyndra.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:26 | 2750344 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Wait until they test students for drugs... which they won't do because most of them take ADHD/memory enhancing drugs and almost everybody would be kicked out/fail their exams if there were mandatory drug tests after exams...

I know, they are doing it at my university in massive numbers. So I bet at Harvard (and all universities in the US) they are doing it too.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:27 | 2750357 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

So you're saying baseball and cycling are clean in comparison?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:45 | 2750429 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Yep. The society has become more and more corrupt... see : Wall Street... so the new generation is taking the hint and cheating/corrupting itself to get ahead... just adaptation to the environment to survive...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:58 | 2750476 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

just adaptation to the environment to survive...

The environment they are adapting themselves to is going away, and taking all of its offspring with it.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:10 | 2750519 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

I hope you're right but I doubt it.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:31 | 2750749 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

lolmao500 your avatar cracks me up. this montage is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlAts6rPxhs

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:38 | 2750762 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

LOL, those are great.

I wonder what Lootie is drinking today?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:26 | 2750349 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

You didn't write that.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:39 | 2750765 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Thread over.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:26 | 2750351 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

harvard? the same school that produced the likes of bush and obama?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:39 | 2750411 ironsky
ironsky's picture

Genius.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:46 | 2750432 madcows
madcows's picture

And larry summers and Chief Lizzy Warren and Al Gore and JFK and Chief Roberts and Al Franken, Ted Kennedy, Chuck Schumer, Deval Patrick, Eliot Spitzer.

 

They sure seem to put out some Left wing nutters... and criminals and client #9's.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:15 | 2750541 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Ben Shalom as well.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 22:13 | 2751341 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Don't forget Romnoid - - Harvard Biz and Law school. (Was known as the 'shark program')

Bet the Romney-bots didn't know that . . . or think its 'good'.

BTW - - I don't like either demorepublicrat

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:28 | 2750742 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Are they all Cherokees too?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:54 | 2751080 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Yes, but only 1/32nd.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:27 | 2750356 ilovefreedom
ilovefreedom's picture

Samsung-gate? Cmon sensationalism.

If you want to use that analogy I will assume they all used the same font instead of the assumption that they copied anything of substance.

Or maybe they all used the same format header?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:41 | 2750768 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'll have you know that format header came to me in a dream, dammit!

Guess I need to GBTW and find some more code to make the copypasta.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:28 | 2750359 cabtrom
cabtrom's picture

Yup, future JPM and Goldman employees!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:39 | 2750364 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

WTF do you call it Samsung-gate?  Apple-gate had been copyrighted by Apple?  Apple has copied well in the past.  Perhaps, Apple has better lawyers?  Or American corporations are backed by the full faith and force of a trillion dollar a year military?

All corporations are amoral.  They would copy if they could get away with wth it - a lesson apparently not lost on Harvard students.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:29 | 2750367 Pa Kettle
Pa Kettle's picture

It's simply a community organizing initiative among the scholars at the school where our COOTUS went. I don't understand what the issue is.

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