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Hedge Funds Start 2012 At A Blistering Pace

Tyler Durden's picture


Not too surprisingly, following an atrocious year for hedge funds in 2011, 2012 has opened with a bang, as virtually all of the brand name funds are green for the year, while the best performers are all the European focused funds which last year crashed and burned. Call it sector rotation into the most hated names (something we took advantage of two weeks ago with our bizarro market strategies), or just call it a dead cat bounce, one can see why nobody wants the party to end: just a few more months like January, and everyone will be above the high water mark, valuations be damned.

Best and worst Hedge Funds of 2012:

Select hedge fund performance:

And complete HSBC breakdown:


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Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:42 | 2129499 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

They should know that because the toin coss was "heads" papa johns is giving a free pizza and two liter tomorrow to EVERYONE who calls in. 

Great business model. If 1 percent of the population calls in that's 31 million free pizzas

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:47 | 2129525 TheSettler
TheSettler's picture

Toin Coss ????


Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:50 | 2129529 TheSettler
TheSettler's picture

we're giving EVERY PAPA REWARDS member

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:56 | 2129531 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Papa Johns is a nationwide pizza place (like dominos) they had a "promo" where if the toin coss in the superbowl was "heads" everyone who calls in gets free pizza and two liter. 

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:14 | 2129555 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture


The Careless Whisper Best Story Of The Weekend & Threadjacking (and I learned two new words; mens rea and scienter)


From Gretchen Morgenson: Meet Nye Lavalle. Obsessed For 15 Years. Exposed Fannie, Freddie, And MBS Fraud & Racketeering For A Very Long Time.


Formerly Confidential Report From Fannie Lawyers To Fannie, Confirms Fraud Allegations By Nye Lavalle (2006)


Nye Lavalle Posts On MERS Blog In 2003 With Response From MERS President


Nye Lavalle Posts On MERS Blog In 2003 With Response From MERS Lawyer



Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:20 | 2129558 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The housing collapse and the 20 million houses on shadow inventory are priced in.

Move along....

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:42 | 2129579 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Why'd ya have to say that. My stomach rules. I'm calling now.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:29 | 2129500 AvoidingTaxation
AvoidingTaxation's picture


Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:29 | 2129501 Auburn
Auburn's picture

All iz good and how it shud be http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-02-05/papademos-greek-leaders-agree-to-cuts-equal-to-1-5-of-gdp-as-talks-set.html

Let's just see what tomorrow brings bitchez!


Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:45 | 2129522 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

The bigger they come, the harder they fall. Desperation I tell ya!

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:48 | 2129526 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Bet they all rotated into the Financials.

Let's see how their mettle holds to year end.

(p.s. - don't buy financials)

Mon, 02/06/2012 - 00:18 | 2129843 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Given what I presume must be some serious leverage, you would think the top end would have better returns. My unlevered, metal-rich portfolio is up 12% in January.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:49 | 2129527 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture


you close or you hit the bricks!

The money's out there, you pick it up, it's yours, you don't, I got no sympathy for ya.

You want to go out on those sits tonight and close, close!

it's yours, if not, you're going to be shining my shoes.

And you know what you'll be saying.

Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar:

'Oh yeah, I used to be a hedgie. It's a tough racket.'

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 19:49 | 2129528 navy62802
navy62802's picture

They're going to get annihilated this year.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:01 | 2129543 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I just stumbled across this one . It seems appropriate. CFTC HF trading definitions

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:03 | 2129545 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

 hft is 70% of nyse volume but cheetahs are almost extinct

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:06 | 2129547 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

What comes around, Goes around!

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:16 | 2129556 chump666
chump666's picture

It's a momo market...kinda. 

Scary market, because it so topped and overbought. 

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:32 | 2129566 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Overbought?  It's up on light volume, which anyone here should know is....


Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:55 | 2129589 chump666
chump666's picture

Good for a 10% to 15% bull trend, then the dow (example) swings down 10% to 15% bear.  The dow and the s&p have been trading like that for the last 12 yrs.  i.e, going nowhere despite money pumps.  It's stuck in a long term range.

The players know this and leverage up (intra trade) with HFTs, human momo rogue trades etc etc etc.  Very dangerous market now.  Greed is about to be punished.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:01 | 2129597 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I had thought we would have seen a correction already, but I haven't been short equity since July.  I am worried inflation is already out of control and Bernanke said, "Fuck it".

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:24 | 2129623 chump666
chump666's picture

you missed Aug 2011 sell off!!!  We rallied from those lows, now it's topped, the market is too long now.  We get some bad news, they can't mess with the future the morons at the FED/ECB (and even if they did they would make it worst hehe) - should see a nice unwind.  Timing?  Well, seasonal strength from Jan/Feb, selling March through to Aug major sell off (example is the 2002 sell off happened in Aug 2002 on the 5th!)

So far the market is following a tune, somewhat predictable.  Unpredictable is when the event will occur, to set the chaos in motion. 

But you are right shorts have been smashed on this rally. 

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:42 | 2129655 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I went short in late July and advised my friends to begin buyin into the August collapse.  I told them to buy as late as November.  They want to play the game and they know I can help them.

But now I can't figure the next move.  I think PM will pull back slightly for a couple weeks before blasting off, which I assume means equity pulls back and so does the euro.  Who fucking knows anymore though.

Mon, 02/06/2012 - 01:42 | 2129906 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Bull market until it isn't.  The top will come soon, soon being defined as sometime between last Friday and a few years from now. My crystal ball says the S&P breaks last year's highs but sometimes my crystal ball is not my best friend (it sometimes lies).

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:31 | 2129564 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Can someone throw some CHOCOLATE Syrup on the field? ( asstroturf), This game is BORING!

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:36 | 2129573 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Why are you even watching it?

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:44 | 2129581 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 It's either that, or throwing( glow in the dark) pencils into my ceiling. I guess I could open a can of paint, and watch it dry!

  Point taken though. Thanks.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:49 | 2129584 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

im not , boycotted that pablum since 2005, watching the birdcage


Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:53 | 2129588 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Great flick. Robin Williams is a hoot! Anyone like Being Human on SyFy?

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:33 | 2129569 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Animal spirits, BITCHEZ!

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:47 | 2129582 Let The Wurlitz...
Let The Wurlitzer Play's picture

Can you say - counter trend rally...


Sun, 02/05/2012 - 20:59 | 2129594 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

The interbank markets initially gapped down, then partially recovered. They seem to be in a mild risk off move at the moment. Asia is often a counter trade. All the M/E and Asia keep rinsing usd in Europe. Just when they sucker the all in, poof! I'll continue selling rallies until the 50% Fibi from October gets broken.  That golden cross crap is just fodder. ( 50-200 sma).

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:04 | 2129599 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I can't help but think that one of these days the Fiat Ponzi is going to finally break down.   don't care how much "control" the CBs have, they can not prolong the inevitable forever.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:28 | 2129636 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 This isn't about  the ( Fed,ECB.IMF,BoE,RBA,BoJ,MoF,PBoC,SNB,BoC, Et cetera , It's about vanity and saving face at any expense!

   History repeats, because we choose to repeat it! Sometimes it's good to forget!

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:34 | 2129643 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"which one?" they're all..."ponzi's"...now. i say avoid the concept so long as interest rates can be mandated in spite of just horrendous internals for sovereigns...the market will rally. period.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 22:04 | 2129680 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 The Russian woman that cuts my hair ( Today) is Ponzificating herself into a ponzi beach house. The latest and greatest. 7 year deals @ T-10 plus  200 BPS. 10's closed 1.90 Friday she wants a lock at just under 400 bps. It's going to be a rental. Yea right!

Mon, 02/06/2012 - 01:45 | 2129911 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Forever is a very, very long time.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 22:42 | 2129719 chump666
chump666's picture

Hey Yen, outta your region are you seeing USD buying? it's bid.  Maybe this Greek drama is the final curtain...for Greece.  Maybe.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 23:13 | 2129751 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Yes. I'm still long usd. Even more so after that ponzi jobs print! QE-3 would be horrible for the Obama administration. Numbers come back and bite you.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:26 | 2129629 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

Wake me up when they beat long only.  What a scam: 2 point fees on single digit performance forever, plus a performance "kiss"?  WTF is wrong with today's fiduciaries?  I know, I know...rhetorical question.

Mon, 02/06/2012 - 01:24 | 2129893 Matt
Matt's picture

I'm confused, isn't the idea of a proper hedge to minimize risk, which inevitably means reducing yield?

Or are they supposed to be beating long only, AND reducing risk?

Mon, 02/06/2012 - 01:48 | 2129912 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Most hedges are hedges in name only.

Mon, 02/06/2012 - 01:49 | 2129913 chump666
chump666's picture

haha so true, half if not most are just momo chasing idoits.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:47 | 2129664 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

The Great and Powerful OZ !

As long as the FBI is not going through your garbage looking for that hard drive that you just mentioned on the wiretap for that extra special expert advice you just got ...

Poor Raj, at least you won't be lonely in the pokey.

Wonder why they call it that?

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 22:33 | 2129713 AN0NYM0US
AN0NYM0US's picture

Raj will be very lonely

check the outbouds from KTYQ

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 21:58 | 2129674 kragsquest
kragsquest's picture

A bumper year for fraud indictments, too!  Bank on it!




Mr. Bharara has bristled at criticism — some of it from his relatives, he has said — that the government is not prosecuting enough people related to misconduct during the financial crisis. Mr. Bharara has said that complex financial fraud cases, like the four-year-old Credit Suisse investigation, take time to build and are often difficult to prove.

“The number of prosecutions is not a function of resources, effort, commitment or courage,” Mr. Bharara said last year, speaking to a group of reporters.

“It is a function of the laws, the facts, and the painstaking nature of these investigations.”

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 22:07 | 2129684 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Ponzi at it's best. Is ponzi a "NOUN"or "VERB" ? I guess it's open to debate.

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 22:17 | 2129697 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

it's an adjective :p

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 22:26 | 2129710 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

As in green and red candles? Adverb?

Sun, 02/05/2012 - 22:25 | 2129706 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Mack the Knife  / from now on, it's not priced in. It's a SINATRA!

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