Heeeere's TOTUS (Again)

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Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:18 | 1563184 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

barfbag please

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:35 | 1563253 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

he's even using that roy clark twang where he can.

the phony...

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:43 | 1563274 machineh
machineh's picture

Please, gentlemen -- the correct title is 'TOSTUS' -- it's what's for breakfast!

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:24 | 1563421 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

Shared sacrifice: means "you sacrifice and we'll share the spoils"

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 23:59 | 1564082 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

He's got that Charlie Pride thing goin'!

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:44 | 1563278 gibbs
gibbs's picture

Make it two

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:37 | 1563467 legal eagle
legal eagle's picture

Lets see, campaign promises:

1. Out of Iraq, check

2. Out of Afganistan, check

3. Close Guantanmo, check

4. No earmarks, check

5.  See through gubermint, check

6. Dump Patriot Act, check

7. Renegotiate NAFTA, check

8. No more bail outs, like AIG, check (chuckle)

9. End torture and secret prisons (forgettabout that Yemen secrecy), check




Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:43 | 1563479 Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar's picture

Because of that winning smile.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 22:40 | 1563810 cpnscarlet
cpnscarlet's picture

Or that fresh, lemony SHINE!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 11:22 | 1565362 DavidC
DavidC's picture

That, and the fact that his birth certificate PROVES he's genuine.



Mon, 08/15/2011 - 20:13 | 1563541 Brother can you...
Brother can you spare a dime's picture

Thanks for paying attention.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 20:42 | 1563594 ping
ping's picture

Because the average American IQ is 85, courtesy of Mexico, affirmative action and flouride.

Which kid of makes American 'Polack' jokes seen ironic, given that Poles have an average IQ of 107. Ditto Germans and Chinese. Funny how all three of those countries' economies are strong.

He gets elected because morons like him. He gets elected because mouth breathers buy the crap that Bilderberg pump out to support him. He gets ditched in 2012 because they want Rick Perry to manage the decline and keep the morons subdued with god and 'morality' while they ass rape society and introduce marshall law.


Mon, 08/15/2011 - 21:23 | 1563662 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Someone's eating red meat - rare; drinking barrel rain-water and brushing with baking soda.

You make a lot sense friend, the Bilderberger angle is unheard of around these parts though, mostly because ... oh, I have a knock at the door. Let me go take care of that ... probably Girl Scout troop selling cookies or the Bilderbergers REALLY are monitoring my internet activity ...



Mon, 08/15/2011 - 21:30 | 1563682 moregoldplease
moregoldplease's picture

It's martial for all the other morons out there.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 23:53 | 1564054 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

But for some of us it's marital, which is a much stricter law.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 04:09 | 1564484 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"Yes Dear!"

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 21:41 | 1563703 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Really? Try and be more direct with your thoughts.

America needed a scapegoat for all this.  He's held out longer than the other Ivy League cardboard cutouts because of his cool tan. 

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 20:42 | 1563593 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture


1. Corruption
1a. Self-Absorption
1b. Greed
1c. Entitlement
1d. Antisocial Personality

2. Ignorance
2a. Entitlement, again, but of a different kind
2b. Meaninglessness
2c. Lies/Media/Media Bias
2d. "Hope"

Same as the first time...

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 23:17 | 1563943 ElTerco
ElTerco's picture

I see your point.  George Bush got re-elected with all this going for him, so Obama can, too.  I think I'm going to go kill myself now...

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 00:09 | 1564116 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

Hey, the guy won a Nobel Peace Prize while intnsifying two wars and invading another country to the list. You gotta have MoJo do do that kind of stuff.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:18 | 1563185 caerus
caerus's picture

the barn door's shut...too bad the horse has already left

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:22 | 1563199 Genzero
Genzero's picture


Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:44 | 1563280 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

only the back half, caerus

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:22 | 1563202 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I found that very funny for some reason. 

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:31 | 1563237 ATG
ATG's picture

Animal Farm symbolism

The horse's name was Boxer

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:14 | 1563381 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

In that case it didn't leave. It was worked near to death, and sent to the glue factory.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:09 | 1563365 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

WTF is with the new background? Did we hock the White House to pay off some debt?

Personally, I am holding out for a surplus CVN at firesale prices.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:37 | 1563466 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Nero fiddling,


Rome buring ...

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 20:11 | 1563536 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Obama golfing....

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:19 | 1563397 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

Has Obama finally gotten a real job filling in for Mr. Greenjeans on Captain Kangaroo?

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:21 | 1563194 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Big Red Barn SCAM

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:22 | 1563198 Prepared
Prepared's picture

L I A R.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:24 | 1563207 Sellzem
Sellzem's picture

As the 2012 election draws near, we, unfortunately, will be seeing and hearing this guy ad nauseum.  Just another joke in a long line of them.  Thank God I still have the freedom to change the radio or television channel or I'd be sick on a regular basis.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:29 | 1563227 Joe Sixpack
Joe Sixpack's picture

You got the nausea part right.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:27 | 1563429 PC Load Letter
PC Load Letter's picture

Isn't he supposed to be on vacation this week? Look on the positive side, with 14 months left until election + 2 speeches/day, we only have to listen to this crap 800 more times. Excuse me while I go buy some earplugs

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:38 | 1563469 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Box of like 200 plus at Home Depot for under US $10 ...

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 21:18 | 1563655 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Kill two birds with one stone.  Just invest in a gun and that way you can justify the cost of a really good shooting headset.  Take up woodworking and you can doubly justify the purchase.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:25 | 1563211 fyrebird
fyrebird's picture

It's not even 2012 and the POTUS is already on the campaign trail.

14 more months of twice-a-day.

Just kill me now.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:39 | 1563470 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Taps thru the heart or the head?

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:26 | 1563214 Bill D. Cat
Bill D. Cat's picture

Apparently this wasn't one of those 40k a plate fundraisers .

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:27 | 1563215 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I have mine on mute and by his mannerisms its pretty obvious this guy should be leading one of the floats at the Pride parade. 

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:26 | 1563217 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Wow, will guy ever shut the fuck up. Enough already.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 21:26 | 1563671 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

He has been taking the mail order course; Fidel Castro: How To Be An Effective Dictator. Chapter 1: How to bore your audience into a coma in one easy lesson!

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:27 | 1563219 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

What's his campaign anyway? Blame bush? GOP? Getting kinda old.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:27 | 1563221 mr. mirbach
mr. mirbach's picture

Somebody needs to tell TOTUS that KIA has a huge manufacturing plant in the US...ignorance is folly.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:27 | 1563222 john39
john39's picture

i think he is explaining why its all Bush's fault.   but, no worries, he will fix everything.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 18:50 | 1563290 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Only if his male personal trainer is on the bus with him.

Mon, 08/15/2011 - 19:07 | 1563358 Rainman
Rainman's picture

....not any old bus. A big, black armor plated one for a few days of touring. Hope he leased the ride,,but I doubt it.

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