Help Wanted: Central Bank Governor

Tyler Durden's picture

The official release, just issued by HM Treasury, is below. The unofficial one is as follows: "The successful candidate must have proficiency with the CTRL and P buttons. Must sound confident and sophisticated when talking in circles while saying nothing. Must be malleable to financial sector suggestions. All other considerations secondary."

From the Her Majesty's Treasury

Governor of the Bank of England


The position of Governor of the Bank of England will fall vacant when Sir Mervyn King retires in June 2013. The Governor leads the Bank of England, and plays an important role in setting monetary and regulatory policy, chairing the Monetary Policy Committee, the Financial Policy Committee and (from next year) the board of the Prudential Regulation Authority. The Governor represents the Bank in important international fora, such as the G7, G20, the European Systemic Risk Board and the Bank of International Settlements in Basel. The Governor is an executive member of the Bank’s Court of Directors.


The Governor will work closely with the Chancellor of the Exchequer and H M Treasury, which is responsible for setting the framework under which the Bank operates.


The new Governor will lead the Bank through major reforms to the regulatory system, including the transfer of new responsibilities that will see the Bank take the lead in safeguarding the stability of the UK financial system.


The successful candidate must demonstrate that they can successfully lead, influence and manage the change in the Bank’s responsibilities, inspiring confidence and credibility both within the Bank and throughout financial markets.


The successful candidate will have experience of working in, or with, a central bank or similar institution; or will have worked at the most senior level in a major bank or other financial institution. He or she will demonstrate strong leadership, management and policy skills; will have an advanced understanding of financial markets and good economic knowledge. He or she will be a strong communicator, have good interpersonal skills and will be a person of undisputed integrity and standing.


The closing date for all applications is 8:30 am on 8 October 2012.

In other news, Jim O'Neill and John Carney are already polishing their resumes.

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Aziz's picture

Applying, bitchez.

My application:

  1. Are you concerned about the long-term social and economic implications of a monetary policy that enriches the rich over and above everyone else?
  2. Are you familiar with the concept of the Cantillon Effect whereby the creation and allocation of new money transfers purchasing power to whoever it is allocated to? Did you consider this effect prior to embarking on a program of quantitative easing to the financial sector?
  3. Given the financial sector’s awful track record in terms of blowing up the economy, fabricating LIBOR data for its own enrichment, and neglecting cash-starved small businesses, is the financial sector an appropriate allocator of new money?
  4. Now that the empirical record shows the policy of helicopter-dropping cash directly to the financial sector disproportionately favours the rich, have you considered changing course and adopting a different monetary policy that doesn’t favour any particular group? 
sunaJ's picture

I was DQ'd from this position, unfortunately, because I have this nagging respect for money with intrinsic, value. Oh yeah, also I don't have lingering issues of stolen lunch money when I was a kid and my parents were married.

Mark Carney's picture



That was easy :)

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Shirley I'm qualified to flush the financial toilet. :)

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I surely do. Insult me, beat me, just don't call me Bob. :)

malikai's picture

But Bob is the good guy. He brings us the slack we all deserve.

theMAXILOPEZpsycho's picture

It's sad that King is leaving. He seemed to be the one central banker who was never swerved a mad populist agenda against stimulus and central bank intervention. I hope the new candidate will be as robust and as forthcomming with necessary measures.

King should certainly be considered for a post with the federal reserve - as an adviser I'm sure he could help them cut through this dilly dallying they've been doing for over a year

Vincent Vega's picture

It's nice to know somebody is hiring.

Zero Govt's picture

of course the bureaucracy is (still) hiring, even if Mervyn King has proved beyond all reasonable doubt the post is worthless as a regulator and banking oversight, worthless at responsibly managing the (monopoly) monetary system and worthless at being independent of political demands (King has bent over backwards to be a crone)

far be it for the bureaucracy to cut its clothes to a recession, in fact they've hiked taxes adding insult to injury for the private sector while moaning like brats about "austerity" which not only has not been implemented, but actually the debt-spending has bloated even further 

and this whimpering crone, King, doesn't know a way back to "normaility" can anything be normal when he's been propping up all the rotten garbage in banking and politics?


q99x2's picture

Sounds like non-productive work and a shit job at that.

GoldenTool's picture

Does it come with a free goat suit? 

StrawberryBlonde's picture

I have more $ in my piggy bank now than I did when I was I qualify?   ;-)

Ima anal sphincter's picture

I am a dumb-ass. It takes a dumb-ass to decide financial policy. I want the job.

Inthemix96's picture

Fuck me,

Thats in my neck of the woods.  Perhaps they would like mixys advice?

Cease and fucking desist from fucking the population over to line you're filthy, lying, downright greedy behaviour at the expence of your fellow man.  Get a job or a trade and earn your keep you fucking filthy parasitical shithawks.

Learn how to plaster a wall, perhaps plumb a radiator, or even wire up a plug, but leave the rest of the land you leech off alone you in-adequte mother fuckers.

How will that go down as an opening speech then?  And here I am cheap.  I will tell the fucking inbred twats for free.

Inthemix96's picture

Cheers sweet chicken.

Do yourself a favour and google mervin king, the govenor of the BOE, and riddle me this.  Does this pathetic looking excuse of a human being even look like he could tie his shoelaces?

I bet no, and I bet twenty quid, he has someone to do it for him the fucking inbred cunt.  Living it large off the backs off all of us?  This has to stop, and it will.

malikai's picture

Always has been, always will be.

Tippoo Sultan's picture

The 'application process' is frankly superfluous, as it can be reduced to but one question for the Candidate: 'Knight or peer ?'

TheFuture_MrGittes's picture

Hmmm... 20 pages of Google image search, and not one image shows his feet... I'm gonna guess slip-ons when NobSpawn isn't about to 'fag' (in the Eton sense) for him.

flyr1710's picture

Brian Sack can buy FTSE futures if he applies

Mongo's picture

The position has already been taken by the Rothschilds...

fuu's picture

Shovel ready.

Aziz's picture

Shovelling cash into wheelbarrows.

buzzsaw99's picture

no shortage of maggots for that job

No Euros please we're British's picture

Yeah, they had a neat ad on zerohedge sponsoring Draghi. Wheel barrow production is been ramped up right now. Ironic isn't it, Vorsprung Durch Technik.

Schmuck Raker's picture

"You go tell Billy's mom, and I'll go get another tyre swing."

Dr. Engali's picture

Do I get to kill people? I mean directly... Not just indirectly through the wars at my disposal and through the poverty I cause ?

TrustWho's picture

No mention of an important job duty:

Manipulation of financial instruments to support the British Empire banks (eg. LIBOR)

Ability to cover-up all manipulation of financial instruments from the common people of the Empire.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Ali G for BoE Governer

Mercury's picture

Queue up lads for this real life, rock star dream job: money for nothing and your chicks for free.

No Euros please we're British's picture

Fuck you, Goldman Sachs. Keep your filthy bankster clones away from the UK. Succesive "governments" have been screwing the peasants quite successfully for the past 1000 years without your help.

101 years and counting's picture

i've written a macro, which makes me the most qualified:


do while x =0




Anglo Hondo's picture

" ... a person of undisputed integrity ..."

Obviously not looking for a banker then.


linrom's picture

MY List:

Steve Keen

Michael Hudson

Dean Baker

Howard Cosell

Rowan Atkinson

Liquid Courage's picture

Can't forget Sir Desmond Glazebrook from the excellent BBC series Yes, Minister.


Couldn't find a link for the apposite clip where Sir Desmond actually becomes head of the BOE, but this clip of his first appearance on the show while still a mere "Banker" gets the extent of his total cluelessness across rather well. I think I can guarantee that it's the only time you'll ever hear the name Maynard Keynes uttered on a popular TV show.

What a great show that was. Apparently Maggie Thatcher was a huge fan and never missed an episode. They don't make 'em like that anymore ... TV shows or Iron Ladies.

coltek's picture

Maybe Barry Soetero should apply.....If he can get his SSN sorted.


.....Or maybe GOD in Barry's absence!


Nah, he would probably give Allah a reference though......

Herodotus's picture

He never renounced his status as a British Subject when he turned 18, so I imagine that he is still qualified.

Racer's picture

And most vital qualification,

Direct participation and knowledge of to the Vampire Squid, er Goldman Sachs fradulent manipulations, er transactions and deals

Upland27's picture

I'm an MIT grad and summered in Harare.

Aziz's picture

Studying under Dr. Gideon Gono will get you a serious head start.

Racer's picture

"a person of undisputed integrity and standing."

Glad I didn't have any liquids in my mouth when I read that or I would have kissed good bye to keyboard and screen!