Here Comes FIATtackWatch: Ben "Big Brother" Bernanke Goes Watergate, Prepares To Eavesdrop On Everything Mentioning The Fed

Tyler Durden's picture

Two weeks ago, the media's heart went aflutter when it learned that the president had borrowed a page right out of ole' Joe McCarthy's communist witch hunt book with the launch of Attack Watch. The response by everyone, even fans of Obama, was immediate and brutal. Yet where Obama took about 24 hours to crash and burn, someone else has stepped in with a far stealthier method of ferreting out the traitors amongst us: none other than our old friends, the Federal Reserve Bank of the United States, which in a Request for Proposals filed to companies that are Fed vendors, is requesting the creation of a "Social Listening Platform" whose function is to "gather data from various social media outlets and news sources." It will "monitor billions of conversations and generate text analytics based on predefined criteria." The Fed's desired product should be able to "determine the sentiment [ED:LOL] of a speaker or writer with respect to some topic or document"... "The solution must be able to gather data from the primary social media platforms – Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, Forums and YouTube. It should also be able to aggregate data from various media outlets such as: CNN, WSJ, Factiva etc." Most importantly, the "Listening Platform" should be able to "Handle crisis situations, Continuously monitor conversations, and Identify and reach out to key bloggers and influencers." Said otherwise, the Fed has just entered the counterespionage era and will be monitoring everything written about it anywhere in the world. After all, why ask others to snitch for you and anger everyone as Obama found out the hard way, when you can pay others to create the supreme FIATtack WatchTM using money you yourself can print in unlimited amounts. And once the Internet is completely "transparent", the Fed will next focus on telephone conversations, and finally will simply bug each and every otherwise "private" location in the world. Because very soon saying that "printing money is treason" will be treason, and such terrorist thoughts must be pre-crimed before they even occur.

All we can say is we welcome our new Chairsatan Voldemort overlord. For it is truly he who must not be named henceforth.

From the key section of the RFP, presented in its entirety below:

I. Introduction

Social media platforms are changing the way organizations are communicating to the public Conversations are happening all the time and everywhere.
There is need for the Communications Group to be timely and proactively aware of the reactions and opinions expressed by the general public as it relates to the Federal Reserve and its actions on a variety of subjects.

II. Social Listening Platforms

Social media listening platforms are solutions that gather data from various social media outlets and news sources.  They monitor billions of conversations and generate text analytics based on predefined criteria.  They can also determine the sentiment of a speaker or writer with respect to some topic or document.
The information gathered can guide the organizations public relations group in assessing the effectiveness of communication strategies.

Here are some of the services it can offer:   

o Track reach and spread of your messages and press releases    
o Handle crisis situations    
o Continuously monitor conversations    
o Identify and reach out to key bloggers and influencers    
o Spot emerging trends, discussions themes and topics    

A. Geographic scope of social media sites

The solution must support content coming from different countries and geographical regions. It should also support multiple languages.

B. Content and Data Types

The solution must be able to gather data from the primary social media platforms –Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, Forums and YouTube. It should also be able to aggregate data from various media outlets such as: CNN, WSJ, Factiva etc.

C. Reports and Metrics

The solution must provide real-time monitoring of relevant conversations.  It should provide sentiment analysis (positive, negative or neutral) around key conversational topics.

It must be able to provide summaries or high level overviews of a specific set of topics. It should have a configurable dashboard that can easily be accessed by internal analysts or management.  The dashboard must support customization by user or group access.

The solution should provide an alerting mechanism that automatically sends out reports or notifications based a predefined trigger.

D. FRBNY Technology Integration

The solution must be able to integrate with existing FRBNY technologies such as: Google Search appliance, Lotus notes suite and web trends.It must have support for single sign on or windows integrated authentication.

E. Cost Structure

The solution should offer a flexible pricing structure that can support multiple user licensing.  It should also have the option to base pricing on content volume and usage. Supplier acknowledges an understanding of and agrees to comply with the above minimum solutions requirements.

Full RFP:


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In Fed We Trust's picture

Tyler what is your source for this story and why hasn't Infowars or the Drudge Report cover this??

Is it a Jewish thing?

mfoste1's picture

ehh fuck the fed.....

unky's picture

hope u read this: fuck you fed

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Was Ron Paul put on the list ceremonially?


FEDbuster's picture

Ron Paul is Ben Bernake's Osama Bin Ladin.

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

More like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, as Bin Laden didn't get on TV and in the press all the time calling him chairsatan, as Mahmoud loved using that analogy. His Bin Laden is someone in the Fed leaking info to Tyler......

Gohn Galt's picture

Dear FED,

Send us another bunboy your last one is all used up and there is still is a lot of fucking to be done.

CH1's picture

+1 - Fuck you Fed!

mtomato2's picture

fed sux fed sux fed sux fed sux fed sux fed sux fed sux

Prometheus418's picture

Dear Federal Reserve:

As much as I would have loved to join in your crusade to preserve the US monetary system and all of it's glorious taxation for interest payments so that my children and grandchildren could also enjoy the wonderful feeling of constant abuse, I must regretfully inform you that due to your ineffective and actively dangerous policies, I have been forced to abandon my beloved Federal Reserve Notes.  I have liquidated them en masse in favor of specie, and should your reckless behavior continue, I will melt my silver and recast it so that I can shoot it directly into your evil fucking werewolf hearts, should you ever come for me and mine.

There, now don't you feel better that you decided to eavesdrop?  

Molon Labe, Bitchez.

Another Texan's picture

Being from Texas it's very difficult to let an opportunity to pick a fight pass by, therefore Fuck the FED and the horse it rode in on!!

TruthInSunshine's picture

Federal Reserve and all Fractional Reserve-based Central Banks = attempting to enslave humanity by using fiat as tool of control, working hand-in-hand with the NWO Globalists.

The Bernank = instrument/tool of the dark side.

Arrest The Bernank. Shave his beard. Arrest All Federal Reserve Presidents. Tar & Feather them, put them on trial for sedition.

Revoke the Federal Reserve Acto of 1913.

End the Fed

LongBallsShortBrains's picture

--Arrest The Bernank. Shave his beard. Arrest All Federal Reserve Presidents. Tar & Feather them, put them on trial for sedition.--

You might put them on trial BEFORE you Tar & Feather. Makes it seem fair.

spiral_eyes's picture

"Arrest the Bernank. Shave his beard"

Surely the quote of the day... 

Coast Watcher's picture

Better -- "Pluck his beard." (It really hurts!)

krispkritter's picture

Fuck that...a BIC lighter works better...

FEDbuster's picture

I think we would all like to ask him "Where's the money Bernake?" like this:

In Fed We Trust's picture

HAng him naked by a rope tied to his own helicopter while flying over NYC wearing a robe made of $100 bills.

mfoste1's picture

dont worry, it will implode on itself.....

Nobody special's picture

That goes beyond spying.  It's militarization of the Internet.  

CH1's picture

For sure, but they'll make sure the sheep still get FREE SERVICES!

Evil and stupidity - a toxic combination.

dracos_ghost's picture

And Google, Facebook, Twitter, Bing, Yahoo ..... all do it everyday for advertisers and the Government. But the sheeple seem OK with that.

If you want to talk trash, man up and accept the people you are talking trash about might fight back. It's a good thing. They are showing they are on the run.

scatterbrains's picture

Now look what you did TD.   This is all Tyler's fault for shining the light on these cockroaches.

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

I have a message for the Fed to analyze...


Might as well start the dance, eh? If the bastards are going to put me on a list I want to be at the top of the list.

Au_Ag_CuPbCu's picture

Just to be very clear when they read this (I don't want the sentiment to be mis-interpreted)  The Fed, The Bernank, The Obama and the whole lot of those scumbags can FUCK OFF!  Got it assholes?  Go fuck yourselves!  I really hope that is clear enough.

On a side note, I wonder how long before the internet is "cleansed" of sites like ZH...

Founders Keeper's picture

Not long, CuPbCu.

6-18 months.

AustriAnnie's picture

Sadly, I think you are right.  Right after the election, they can do as they wish by "emergency" decree.

The internet will have to go, its the weapon of choice of the discontented.

seek's picture

More like the dragon they lost control of. It's still useful to them to disseminate disinformation, so it won't go -- it'll just be recast without any pretense of anonymity, and some sort of "enforcers" appearing to silence anyone who dissents, or worse, makes the sheep ask uncomfortable questions (or causes them to come to uncomfortable realizations.)

I'm pretty sure we're under the 24 month mark to SHTF.

Dapper Dan's picture

If that happens let's all meet up on the comment section of Paul Krugmans blog!!

OT:  They never lose or go away.

Lehman Brothers Holdings says it has emerged from bankruptcy and will start paying back creditors on April 17 - @Reuters
Gully Foyle's picture


Dude, if this is announced it's already been applied.

Fear what they don't tell you.

Everyone must serve somebody. Ever watch SPOOKS? Government comes and goes but Harry is a constant.

Strive to be Harry.

johnQpublic's picture

you all notice that there is an email address on this fed proposal for miroslav katava?

lets fill his in-box shall we ?

i already sent him a nice note asking him to fuck himself....dont leave me hanging

FreudianSlip's picture

Miroslav Katava is probably a 30 something wonk working for the NY Fed, living at home with his parents in New Jersey,

living pay check to pay check and cannot even afford to get his own place.  Miroslav thinks he has a GREAT JOB.  Miroslav has no critical thinking skills.


This is our problem...the Miroslavs slaving at their computers mindlessly doing their "tasks".....whatever they are.  

Miroslav doesn't understand there's another Miroslav doing the same things to him.... all the while the power-money princes give all their greedy self-enriching orders to the endless line of Miroslavs.

Gadfly's picture

Query:  The Fed is a private entity, right?  Not a governmental entity, right (at least that's what I've been told).  So how is it they can gain access to our private information in the first place?  What law gives them the right to do that?

udecker's picture

The RFP reads like it would monitor public communications on social media.  That means the things that people post that is open for the world to see.  We've put our own lives and opinions out for whomever and whatever to compile into dossiers.  

Of course they're taking advantage of that.  We've published our own lives.

WonderDawg's picture

To answer your first question, yes, the Fed is a private entity. If you care to know who owns the Fed, here is an org chart. It was published in 1976 but it hasn't changed any, as far as I know:

To answer your question of what law gives them the right, laws don't give rights, as a rule, they limit them. There is no law saying the Fed can't gather this information from public forums. It's available to anyone who has the means to gather it.

Prometheus418's picture

Greened for defending actual freedom.

Any one of us can collect information from public forums, even the FED.  We don't have to like it, and we don't have to cater to them.  What we can't actually do is stop them- short of making sites like ZH a paid subscription service with background checks and a bulletproof contract that expressly prohibits data collection.  Even then, the burden of proof would be on the Tylers, and it's just not worth doing.  These forums are free to all- even the asshats.

So, do what you can with the reality of the situation- and that reality is that they are opening up a mic for us to collectively speak to them.  The most likely result is that they might change the tone of thier press conferences, adding a little more "explanation" that will more more bullshit, and maybe start an ad campaign to improve their image.

Real change won't come from this- not on the FED's end, and not on our end, either.  We can't just get scared and start yelling about how there oughta be a law...

Pondmaster's picture

I'm in - The FED! The FED! 

I'd really like to hear Bernankes answer to the question "Whom do you serve ? ". That would end the Fed . Moneychangers that won't pay a dime in interest . This is not only treason against American savers , but unbiblical in principle . All to serve the um.. urf.. TBTF Banks .

Translational Lift's picture

such terrorist thoughts must be pre-crimed before they even occur.

Now...where have I heard that before??

Silver Bug's picture

Wow the Globe and Mail is up to their garbage again, David Berman a so called "Journalist" writes a pure hit piece on Gold. It is laughable to say the least, and utterly filled with holes. You can see this nonsense linked:


When clowns like this start touting Gold, that is your que to get out of dodge!

MarkTwain00's picture

If they have gotten to the point they are announcing it publicly that means they already have something 10x scarier tracking us right now
the government continues to find ways to make me realize how idiotic they are or do they want to be seen that mean we don't have a contingency plan for falling satelites?  deepwater oil wells?  hijacked planes? etc.....I find it hard to believe they would even ask our permission to monitor the interwebs....oh and doesn't everyone have a little window to the internet in their pocket 24/7.  They don't need RFID chips.

e2thex's picture

I'm ready for anything now that I own Amelia's flying goggles.

Do you think he has a stinkin' badge? Is he aware of the short position that the MMs put into place on Thor's Day? Are we all gonna receive cat tuna coupons with our social security checks? If I build hotels on Marvin Gardens and St.Charles will I be spared the wrath of Keynesian stupidity that this man is inflicting on America?

PhilofOz's picture

Silver $26.15  ... still in freefall!!!! WTF!! I'll blame the Fed and all thoe corrupt Central Bankers ... a common enemy of every decent man woman and child on the planet !

snowball777's picture

Ben, you can't handle the truth.

zorba THE GREEK's picture


Big Corked Boots's picture

See you in the political reeducation camps... bitchez.

CH1's picture

See you in the political reeducation camps

Which just got one big step closer.

TheMerryPrankster's picture

No need for re-education camps, the premise of a "listening platform' is to contol the communication. There will be no dissenters, you will be smothered in wave, after wave of fed paid blog trolls and bots, deriding and derailing any attempt at conversation or consensus.

People may need to meet face to face, resistance may need to be wide spread civil disobedience. The goal of the fed is to supresss reality and continue economic propaganda. The recent stock market gyrations imply they have lost control of the dialogue - they are desperate to maintain the status quo, constitution be damned.