Here Comes #OccupyMainStreet - RBS Cancels Christmas, Bans All Entertainment

Tyler Durden's picture

Cost-cutting days are here again. With the year grinding to a close, and with various banks around the world and in the US once again the target of popular adoration, management teams are wondering whether or not to cancel their "elves" parties come Christmas-time. The first bank to vote Nay on free booze, finger food and cheesy music is UK's nationalized RBS: "Royal Bank of Scotland Group Plc (RBS) is canceling Christmas for its investment bankers this year as the government-owned lender tries to reduce costs." It gets worse: the first person to laugh or joke gets the sack: "The bank will stop subsidizing holiday parties and has banned staff entertainment for the rest of the year, Chris Kyle, chief financial officer of RBS’s investment bank, wrote in an e- mail to employees obtained by Bloomberg News. A spokesman for the lender confirmed the contents of the memo." The latest development marks a new low for the bankrupt bank, which previously had the generous allowance of $16 per person for holiday spending: "RBS reduced its spending on holiday parties to 10 pounds ($16) a head, enough to buy two pints of lager and a packet of potato chips, in 2008 after receiving the biggest banking bailout in the world in the financial crisis. The lender announced 2,000 job cuts at the securities unit in August." Certainly this aggression will not stand: we expect white collar riots, powerpoints of mass demonstrations, and multiple scenario IRR excel models for the pros and cons of banker unionization, all organized via Blackberry-blasted calendar events, in which Wall Street will finally #OccupyMainStreet.

Actually scratch the Blackberry:

The bank is seeking to “further tighten and minimize the rate of spend on non-staff costs,” Kyle wrote. RBS has also frozen spending on computer hardware, new Blackberries and additional newspaper subscriptions, he said.


“International travel for internal purposes is to cease across all areas” and “travel under four hours duration will be in economy class without exception.” 


Employees have also been stopped from organizing off-site meetings and from taking taxis home before 10 p.m., he said. All contractors will take a “mandatory” vacation from Dec. 19 to Dec. 30, Kyle wrote

The reason for the sudden reminder that RBS is, essentially, still insolvent - why more capital raises of course.

The lender may also have to raise capital as European Union regulators force banks to bolster themselves against losses from the region’s sovereign debt crisis.


RBS might need to raise as much as 19 billion euros ($26 billion) of new capital to pass a third round of stress tests, Credit Suisse Group AG analysts led by Carla Antunes-Silva wrote in a note to clients yesterday. Evolution Securities Ltd.’s Ian Gordon said in a note today that RBS has “absolutely no need” to raise more capital because the bank wrote down its holdings of Greek debt by 50 percent in the second quarter.

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chunga's picture

Sorry. Party's over.

gojam's picture

Cromwell tried that but it didn't work

Max Hunter's picture

This is a tragedy.. We have to let the banksters have their fun.. This is absurd and will hurt us in the long run.. /sarc off/

Ancona's picture


I want my hookers and coke!!

This is an outrage, as we're ENTITLED to these parties.

While I'm at it, where's my fucking bonus bitchez??

#Occupy Santa's workshop!

jaffa's picture

The worst thing you can do after a bad day of day trading is to try to make back everything you lost in one big trade. Figure out why you suffered the loss, adjust your strategy accordingly and move forward without making any rash decisions. If you make a trade out of panic, you might increase your losses. Thanks a lot.
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chunga's picture

Shhh...don't tell anyone. Just take the Executive elevator. This year's party will be better than ever.

cynicalskeptic's picture

Off premises for top execs - verbal invite only, no written records or e-mails that could be seen by the proles.

jaffa's picture

Economics graduates are employable in varying degrees, depending on the regional economic scenario and labour market conditions at the time for a given country. Apart from the specific understanding of the subject, employers value the skills of numeracy and analysis, the ability to communicate and the capacity to grasp broad issues which the graduates acquire at the university. Thanks.
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Don Birnam's picture

"Every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart !"

( Postscript: "RBS," though headquartered in Edinburgh, is the successor, by acquisition, to the former London counting house firm of Scrooge & Marley. - Ed. )

Ruffcut's picture

No, they are doing it all wrong. They need to charge and for a profit to get into the party. Make it mandatory. If you don't show up you are docked a weeks pay. That's how you need to run these businesses.

DaveyJones's picture

Ironic since all they've done is party

CNBC / Onion headline:

US to Play 'Very Major Role' In Helping Europe: Geithner


didn't the US, excuse me Goldman, excuse me same thing, play a "very major role" in fucking up europe?  

bigdumbnugly's picture

the grinch that stole christmas - rbs style.

gotta start somewhere though.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

'Here. Take a couple hundred million, just don't be happy about it OK?'

fuu's picture

Hahahaha bankers gettin' nerfed.

solgundy's picture

It doesn't include muslim holidays ,does it?

imapopulistnow's picture

Need to save money where ever they can for.......bonues.

Bobbyrib's picture

Bonuses to the executives, everyone else gets little to nothing.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

even charles dickens would say:

"Let them fail, BiCheZ!"


FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Pure tokenizm to make it look like 'they are suffering too', 'sharing the burden'... they've still got their snouts well buried in the trough.

Where My Dawg At's picture

After a miserable third quarter I wonder what Goldman is going to do for their employees...

SheepDog-One's picture

What suffering? What 'party over'....the fukin economy is EN FUEGO look at stawks!!!

ZeroPower's picture

Wow 10 quid for holiday spending... feel sorry for them.

YesWeKahn's picture

No, we need to party hard to improve our retail sale numbers.Obama needs it.

tim73's picture

Translation: Coke, booze and the girls are only reserved for board members for now on.

Ted K's picture

Oh Horrors!!!!!

Next thing you know they won't even allow bank employees to masturbate under the desk as they sell predatory loans!!!

They're taking all the fun away.

junkyardjack's picture

I figured they would do like the Chinese companies:

"The 300 employees of Aomi Fluid Equipment here were delighted recently when the owner offered an all-expenses-paid, two-day trip to a mountain resort three hours away.

The owner, Sun Fucai — or Boss Sun, as he’s known — was so insistent that his workers attend that he imposed a $30 fine on any employee who refused the getaway. Nearly everyone went.

Except Boss Sun.

When the employees returned from their holiday, they found that the factory had been stripped of its equipment and that Boss Sun had fled town. “It was entirely empty,” Li Heying, a former Aomi worker, said of the factory. “It was like what happens in war time.”"

Bobbyrib's picture

Did they have fun at least?

TradingJoe's picture

:))) Galgenhumor :))) What's left then real sarcastic humor and helpless watching while the world around us goes bust! What a pittyful bunch the people of this planet have become! No wonder the bancheros "rule"! War is coming!

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

RBS is at the heart of the European darkness.

disabledvet's picture

I like the "no off site meetings" thing actually. "my God! They're plotting against us! And they're not even doing it in house like they're suppose to!"

SparkySC's picture

What ZH has done is banned it's followers from catching any part of a 12% moonshot.

And they most likely have gotten crushed shorting the Rocket.


Thanks ZH, you're a real pal like Charles Manson.


Got DOOM ?





FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Yeah, on 5 floppy disks somewhere, you looking for a copy?

TuesdayBen's picture

Think for yourself, Sparkster

Larry Darrell's picture

The only trade recommendation I remember ZH posting recently was a compression trade between Dexia CDS and Belgian CDS

and I believe that trade is doing okay.

alien-IQ's picture

then just go back to watching Cramer. He needs the ratings far more than ZH does.

And what can possibly go wrong following his advice? right?

Dapper Dan's picture

Hey Sparky'



Zero Hedge is a financial news and information site, not an investment advisor. Making investment decisions based on information published on Zero Hedge, or any internet site for that matter, is more than unwise, it is folly.

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Zero Hedge is not a broker-dealer, legal advisor, tax advisor, investment advisor, accounting advisor or children's party clown. (There seems to have been some confusion that these terms are interchangeable). Relying on Zero Hedge in such a capacity will result in regulatory entanglements, civil and criminal actions naming you as a defendant, severe tax liabilities and liens from the tax authority in your jurisdiction and the horror of lax accounting standards.

alien-IQ's picture

I believe the real reason for the party cancellations is fear that the bartenders and wait staff will piss in their drinks before handing it to them.

Given the opportunity...I know I'd piss in their drinks.

zenbones's picture

"There's a worm in my tequila.  Wait!  Are worms brown?  Hey, that's not a worm!"

AngryGerman's picture

bankster hell is here

Cone of Uncertainty's picture

There is a party in your mouth...and nobody is coming bitches!

WoodMizer's picture

They're cutting slave driver benefits; you know they are having capital issues.

adr's picture

Sanity in the classic definition has long been forgotten by this insane world.

The few sane people left have been forcibly admitted to the nuthouse and have the choice of suicide or losing ones mind and joining the party.

JW n FL's picture



Record Bonuses! for the last 3 fucking years..

but this year, fuck you little people!

this is what happens when the bonus structure does not keep up with inflation! LOL!! *(real inflation not the FED 3%, LOL!!)

unionbroker's picture

Banned it's followers?

PositivelyNegative's picture

How are these investment banks supposed to attract top talent to steal from the public with this kind of austerity???

bentaxle's picture

And UK, not being in the Euro, RBS cannot tap the European Festive Stability Fund either!

Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Does this mean midget tossing performers will be out of work over the next couple months?