• Knave Dave
    05/23/2016 - 18:16
    This past Thursday marked the one-year anniversary of the US stock market’s death when stocks saw their last high. Market bulls have spent a year looking like the walking dead. They’ve...

Here Is How The 50% Greek Haircut Is Actually Just 28%

Tyler Durden's picture

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Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:51 | 1815634 oogs66
oogs66's picture

and that is assuming it is a real 50% haircut and not some bastardized NPV calculation

Mon, 01/30/2012 - 08:11 | 2108998 taxi952
taxi952's picture

A little windy isn`t it . Hahaha. I would like to see the proof

bloons tower defense 4

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:54 | 1815646 reflex_121
reflex_121's picture

Shout out to Zero for being the pinnacle of financial news. You all are exhaustive and righteous.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:14 | 1815745 undercover brother
undercover brother's picture

exhaustive and riteous no doubt, but with way too much bearish tint. Meanwhile, back in reality and despite the zero hedge negative drone, the S&P has rallied almost 200 handles in 15 days. Party On!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:49 | 1815893 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Go back to sucking your boyfriends cock.

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 03:59 | 1816292 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

I was going to say BTFD; but, yeah.


Fri, 11/11/2011 - 00:20 | 1868927 haibop
haibop's picture

This is no funny - think about on a memory foam mattress

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 00:02 | 1815937 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Yes siree....there are not enough booster financial news outlets.  C'mon Zero Hedge - quit it with the accurate anlaysis...maybe some stories about lottery winners, unicorns, and magic fairies would be good.

People like you always refer to the last rally.  How about the return over the last 10 years?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:55 | 1815649 knukles
knukles's picture

Some pigs are more equal than others.


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:00 | 1815682 caerus
caerus's picture

neither cast
ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them
under their feet, and turn again and rend you...bitchez

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:31 | 1815818 knukles
knukles's picture

Amen, my brother...

Uncle Knukie's thought for the eve...

The bulls.  Problem solved, risk back on, All's Ho-Kay.  Same game we's been playin' now for weeks.  But finally, resolution is here! Hooray!
Stocks rally
PM's get shat upon.
Regular stock portfolio manager perspective of the world. (About as far as his dick and a duh.  And yes, you fuckers know who you are.)

The realists. (credit, commodity, 4X and bond daddies)  Nothing's changed. The solution is all form over substance.  The haircut for some but none for the Official EU Organizations is a purely political sleight of hand, solving shit. 
Political Kabuki Theater.
The Law of Unintended Consequences Bites Hard, Eventually....
The prior bull case might take hold first.
Watch the fixed income markets! 
Interest rates rise on higher risk credit paper (spreads widen). 
This is the EU's GM moment.  Good fucking luck.
Credibility of Euro is shite along with EU due process.
Makes the first 2 fiat reserve currencies officially useless. 
Hello China!
Hello Gold!
Note gold right now.  About unchanged, but silver palladium and platinum rallying.  Oh Fed/Treasury with JPM/HSBC on their behalf.  Manipulate (sorry, intervene) away.  Gotta keep making like it's all orderly, don't we.  No need to cry havoc and loose the dogs of hard money.

Longer term....
What with abrogations of contract law becoming a normal everyday occurrence, whatta wanna own longer term?
Gold and etc......

Scuttle the fiats!  Free men and strong women first.  The band will remain playing for the rest of the decline in the Idiot Lounge. 
There will be a behavioral contest held after the Velocity of Money rebounds and Inflation takes hold, after the depression, continued.
Whilst partying, please be careful of official slippery bullshit manipulated data.

This, my kind gentle fellows is the end as we know it... end of "normal". 
It's Official, Declared by Dr, Knukles Hisveryself.
There will be no more talk of "are we there yet" or "when the shit hits the fan."
We're there, it's splattering. 

Buckle in.  Its' gonna be one motherfucking rough ride.
Keep your cool and remain clear.

There will be many mirrors. Nothing is as it seems.

Careful, Alice.  That Rabbit Hole is Mighty Deep©


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:45 | 1815879 James-Morrison
James-Morrison's picture

Have you seen the bigger piggies 
In their starched white shirts 
You will find the bigger piggies 
Stirring up the dirt 
Always have clean shirts to play around in. 

In their styes with all their backing 
They don't care what goes on around 
In their eyes there's something lacking 
What they need's a damn good whacking. 

--The Beatles 

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 03:04 | 1816239 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Lyrics by John "the Reagan Republican" Lennon. I like the way that sounds:)

Mon, 11/14/2011 - 21:03 | 1877714 haibop
haibop's picture

pretty cool isn't it?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:54 | 1815912 James-Morrison
James-Morrison's picture

Big man, pig man, ha ha charade you are.
--Pink Floyd

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 11:46 | 1915097 haibop
haibop's picture

agree... walk in cooler

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:58 | 2389820 haibop
Sat, 05/05/2012 - 12:49 | 2399431 haibop
haibop's picture

more ... want you

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:55 | 1815652 maxw3st
maxw3st's picture

And as usual the banks make out like bandits, literally, and the people who worked a lifetime for retirement pensions get screwed.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:55 | 1815653 Darth Sidious
Darth Sidious's picture

hooray, so the banks have to write down $75b less than expected.  buying opportunity

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:59 | 1815676 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Please post your proof

we are in a math class

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:55 | 1815654 Alexmai
Alexmai's picture

UBS says the 50% writedown of Greek paper is really just 22% after factoring in that only privately held bonds will be subject to the haircut (leaving the ECB, EU, and IMF holdings whole), and also that Greece will then need to recapitalize its banks. In other words, 50% is not nearly enough. “To achieve an actual 50% reduction … Greece would need to implement a 100% haircut.” http://investmentwatchblog.com/the-50-greek-haircut-is-really-just-22-of...

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:56 | 1815656 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

The plan: shout "haircuts!" then bail the Euro banks through the back door quietly. ECB will have those Greek bonds on its balance sheet by close of business. 

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:56 | 1815659 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Brilliant ... a haircut of a haircut

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 14:37 | 1894315 haibop
haibop's picture

no much you can do, isn't it? walk in freezer

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:56 | 1815663 winter is coming
winter is coming's picture

fuck it, im buying calls on s and ptomorrow

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:57 | 1815667 tkinfo
tkinfo's picture

Funny thing how the ECB doesn't apply the 50% haircut to their loans. You can gore someone else's ox, just not mine...

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:22 | 1815783 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Uh, goring didn't come to mind..

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:57 | 1815668 chump666
chump666's picture

I see. 

Await credit markets EZ open in 3 hrs.  To see whats up

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 22:38 | 2252821 haibop
haibop's picture

it's interesting to know... incline treadmill

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:57 | 1815671 JSchroe
JSchroe's picture

Equity futures soaring ever higher on this game-changing news! May be a good opportunity to buy some china fraudcaps

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:01 | 1815693 jcaz
jcaz's picture

"soaring"? Dude, settle down, they're up about 1%, wont' last till morning, once people figure out the details.....

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:58 | 1815672 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Greek haircuts? I just wish Greek women would shave off hair on their legs.

All kidding aside

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:03 | 1815696 knukles
knukles's picture

And their upper lips.
Is very disconcerting kissing something with a mustache and feeling down there again just to make sure.
Note to self.... easy on the Ouzo.

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 00:05 | 1815946 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Still safer than Thailand though!

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 00:10 | 1815954 pods
pods's picture

I have heard that Greeks don't mind Thailand at all.


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:41 | 1815865 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Greek bondholders to go bald.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:59 | 1815679 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Wow- good work, Tyler- will take the market a week to do that math.....

Sat, 12/24/2011 - 03:27 | 2008935 haibop
haibop's picture

impressive! mini fridge

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 22:59 | 1815680 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

so.... is this bullish?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:03 | 1815700 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

Well yeah...for at least the next couple of hours.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:06 | 1815714 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

Zerohedge has almost become a contrarain indicator. Everytime Zerohedge spreads some bearish analysis, markets will soar.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:10 | 1815727 Cursive
Cursive's picture


Buy all you want, bitch. The sky's the limit! We don't need no maths!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:15 | 1815748 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Let the underwater burn!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:27 | 1815806 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Spreads some bearish analysis? Or merely does the math? I know math confuses most Yanks.

Remember how awesome October 2007 was? Remember how math didn't matter then either?

Perception is reality until reality kills perception.

But enjoying the soaring market. Get super super long, and preferable short some gold. After all you have your perfect contrarian indicator:the man who can do math.

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 03:15 | 1816249 malikai
malikai's picture

Hmm. Confusing HFT headline action for a 'contrarian indicator'. Yea, this cat will last long. Heh.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 02:14 | 2188004 haibop
haibop's picture

interesting silver

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:25 | 1817579 Cat On A Ledge
Cat On A Ledge's picture

Hey hey maybe ZH touched some nerves with the scoop on PrimeX, and we're seeing 'Operation Discredit' in progress.

It's a conspiracy!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:00 | 1815686 streethedge
streethedge's picture

Let the riots start again!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 23:01 | 1815690 nyse
nyse's picture

When did the concept of "retirement" come about? This is a realtively new construct, I believe (i.e., not sure if the pilgrims or the injuns counted on "reitement years").


Perhaps retirement in the conventional sense is unsustainable, even unrealistic, on a longer timeline, as it is turning out to be a ponzi as well (like every fucking thing).


To be sure, the prospect of a "traditional retirement" for somone who is, say, <10 yrs out of school is not the "sure thing" it once was.

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