Here We Go: US Futures Plunge As Milan, Dax Down 5%, Italian Fins Halted, EURUSD Sub 1.41

Tyler Durden's picture

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dwdollar's picture

This is what happens when Benny is taking out of the equation for just ONE day.

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

I was feeling quite depressed about my equity portfolio this morning, when it dawned on me that there is a major problem with our economic system. Why is it that interest rates remain exceptionally low, yet stock prices are plummeting? The answer is simple. The prices of debt instruments are heavily influenced by educated professionals at our Federal Reserve, whereas stock prices are largely determined by the market. This clearly demonstrates that experts and intellectuals are much more competent at setting prices than the general population. The solution is therefore beautifully simple: set up a central body for setting all equity prices. If it so happens that a stock is influenced by an underlying consumer good, then we should set up a body for pricing that good too. The experts that price these goods will be learned professors and intellectuals who are specialists in the relevant field.

cowdiddly's picture

You Have an equity portfolio? Man, you are brave. Thats so 1999 retro its cool.

spiral_eyes's picture

I have an equity porfolio...

Junior miners, bitchez.

Very overweight. 

cowdiddly's picture

Yea, I tried that back in 1980-82. drill results, infered resources, Reminds me of the Mark Twain quote. Good luck to you. 1 out of 10 hits the Jackpot and can make up for the other 9. Fun stuff though. 

Ancona's picture

My equity fund is called Ancona's paid off house and cars fund. It can never be tapped, but I pay no fees other than the local extortion levy each year. You couldn't pay me to be in paper of any kind right now; too much panic and fear on the streets. I have a bad feeling about tomorrow's open. Very bad.

cowdiddly's picture

I call mine Cowboy's, First Ass National.

DeeDeeTwo's picture

Crisis = opportunity... but ONLY for those with balls, baby. This place is full of people hiding in their basements, financially speaking.

banksterhater's picture

It's all correlated, you'll lose your ass too.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Everyone will lose their asses for a while. Then a few metallic asses will begin to shine again. But that too shall be brief. I think we're going to see a bath full of blood (sadly no ukelele floating in it) tomorrow, come Asia open.

No pleasure in seeing this forecast come good. none at all, for anyone here I hope. It's an unfolding tragedy of rather historic proportions.
And of course it si unfolding exactly as per plan

V

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/09/02/first-print-and-some-amazing-...

Strike Back's picture

Miners look like they've been decoupling from the general market since the beginning of August. 

topcallingtroll's picture

Cmon guys it's satire.

We have a new Hamy, or maybe the old one has returned.

BurningFuld's picture

Kinda like your morning horoscope.

Hedgetard55's picture

Million,

 

     That would work pretty well, but why not go the whole enchilada and just nationalize all companies - no need for stocks, or prices! The smart dudes and dudettes from the Ivy League could run things.

cowdiddly's picture

That be the problem, Ivy League PHDs are running it now. You know, by and hold, diversification,technical charts,mutual funds, efficient markets and all the other theories they have brainwashed the sheep into believing while they backdate the options, dilute the stock, issue bonuses and run HTF and naked shorting scams. Oh but you get a .12 cent dividend LOL

Red Herring's picture

Been there, done that, escaped.

 

Without the stocks or prices, the alpha males in charge of the companies have nothing to measure their manhood by.  The need for competition eventually evolves into competition between two production lines - left shoes vs. right shoes. Pointless exercise.

 

And Ivy League is best left to what it does best - corrupt the minds of the next generation of Ivy League graduates...

Coldcall's picture

nothing wrong with an equity portfolio but it should be overweight large gold miners. My stock portfolio contains 25% gold miners and has outperformed the market since late July.

Sorry but crazy not to anchor your stocks with some sort of major hedge.

Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

"nothing wrong with an equity portfolio but it should be overweight large gold miners."

 

Hmmm. Is there an ETF for big obese gold miners ?

HyperLazy's picture

NUGT and GDX, GDXJ for Juniors. But FSG is an interesting vehicle.

Motley Fool's picture

Bravo. This level of trolling deserves some respect. :D

topcallingtroll's picture

Hahaha!

It is Hamy!

I just know it. Funny man!

glenlloyd's picture

Ideas like this should be relegated to the dustbin of history.

This has already been tried and failed miserably...every time.

You're not too bright...are you?

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

I just gave you an example of it working fantastically well. Interest rates have remained low throughout the past 5 years despite all the economic challenges we have faced. This is a remarkable achievement, and should be admired as such. This can only be the work of true genius, and could never be achieved by market participants of mediocre intelligence.

IronShield's picture

Oh, I see, something for nothing? Hmmm...

jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Yes...a new way to wealth creation...out of thin air... hahahah!

theinebriatedsot's picture

you sir, are dangerous, and need to be taken out back and shot.......

DosZap's picture

<theinebriatedsot >@ 12:04,

TO whom are your speaking of?.

After second thought, whoever your speaking about does not deserve that rash, and kind of judgement.

Esp from a keyboard commando.

Thomas's picture

You are the Samaurai of Sarcasm. 

Spitzer's picture

Robotrader is too in a more suttle way.

Thomas's picture

Maybe he is like Calvin Bear, who's genius required years to shine through.

Landrew's picture

Wow, with the S&P futures down 62 I hope your equity port is short! I am holding the Oct. 7$ puts:) that is the sum of my equity exposure. All cash and short here. S&P is at 1999 levels.

RSloane's picture

I can only add holy effin shit.

duckhook's picture

The answer is very simple.Bond prices are predicting at least a bad recession or a depression  for a protracted period of time.In that atmosphere earnings ,which are at their highest in history,will plunge.So your E in P/E is going to decrease dramatically.And your point about the Fed influencing interest rates is not correct.This is  Just governmnet controlled interest rates ,which will eventaully backfire massively.Get out of all stocks.Buy when the Dow hits 5000

Spitzer's picture

That is bullshit. The lower stocks go in the US, the more money the tresereve has to print to makeup for the shortfall in tax revenue to service the debt. That is bond negative.

Bicycle Repairman's picture

MDS, you see it all with such clarity.  I'll dust off my econometrics textbook and head to Washington.  I'm going to change the world, dammit!!

Spitzer's picture

 Asset bubbles 101.

Perception is not was ends asset bubbles. Perception only changes after prices start falling. Everyone (except Austrians) thought house prices would never fall in the US until they fell. People in Canada and Australia still think house prices will never fall even though their valuations are worse then the US was.

 

 

 

spiral_eyes's picture

the west destroyed its productive base and moved to the massage-the-figures-with-benny model. 

chickens coming home to roost, bitchez

http://azizonomics.com/2011/09/03/the-shape-of-global-parasitism/ 

DormRoom's picture

Or, this is what happens when the Fed uses the shadow banking apparatus (hedge funds) to pump liquidity into equity markets, using leverage from TARPed banks, with access to the Fed discount window.  It was a blunt move.

 

Now the shadow banking apparatus is deleveraging, collapsing  global equity markets.

 

Das Kapital, bitchez.

johnnynaps's picture

Ah, a day of Reality! Don't fret, Benny will be hard at work tomorrow and rainbows will lighten the sky as skittles fall from the heavens into rich bankers' pockets.

Bam_Man's picture

It is actually spelled "Madonna!".

Yep, same as the pop singer, but pronounced the way you wrote it.

oogs66's picture

they monetized and couldn't hold yields down...the market has spoken and once again govt intervention in markets has a half life of less than a month!

11b40's picture

Yep.  The only boards green today are the ones showing interest rates in the PIIGS.  Up, up, and away!

infinity8's picture

perfect with rocky mountain oysters. grab a good red and i'll bring the whiskey.

BurningFuld's picture

You will all have to excuse gold if it goes down a bit this week, but people are going to be needing the cash me thinks.  It's about to get UGLY!

LoneStarHog's picture

Who really cares where PAPER gold/silver go ... Holding PHYSICAL in large quantities adds a sense of calm while entering The Perfect Storm ... I hope America survives and enters a New Golden Age on the other side.