Here Is What Bernanke Has Been Secretely Ordering From Heidelberg

Tyler Durden's picture

Your rating: None

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:22 | 1836875 mfoste1
mfoste1's picture

who is john galt?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:26 | 1836906 Lets_Eat_Ben
Lets_Eat_Ben's picture

Im long ink

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:29 | 1836936 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Bennie and the Inkjets are actually ordering 310 million of them. No more need for food stamps then. He gets the bulk discount, and he just might get free shipping to each of us also.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:32 | 1836956 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

Good thing they're getting the bulk discount.  I'd hate to think the central planners are wasting taxpayer money.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:45 | 1837036 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

All your ink are belong to us.....

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:09 | 1837159 fuu
fuu's picture

He'll make it rain for sure now!

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:14 | 1837182 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

The Fed is using 9.7 TONS OF INK PER DAY printing money.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:39 | 1837317 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Bureau of Engraving and Printing still "prints" the currency for the FED.  The FED does it's real printing with the "magic" computer (custom titanium zero key on the keyboard).  I am not sure, if the Treasury still has to print the bonds they sell, it may have gone all electronic, too.  The push is to phase out paper money, and use electronic transfers for the majority of transactions.  The fly in the ointment with that plan is the overseas use of the dollar as currency (hell Ecuador's whole country operates on US currency, fools).  

Heidelberg should protect it's future by investing in the manufacture of ore crushing and refining equipment for the once and future money, silver and gold.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 13:54 | 1837656 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Ben "Shylock" Bernank,  a pound of flesh will be required of you just above your heart!  Oups forgot you don't have a heart....

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 13:12 | 1837485 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture


hey, mr_p!

here is the guy who designed the web-based app:not>do-chen

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:42 | 1836975 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Bernanke could save a bundle if he signed up for Staples Rewards!

"That was easy!"

And if you click on the pictures you'll see the printers are made by BMW.

Does this make the printer, "The Ultimate Printing Machine"?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:43 | 1837019 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture


Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:21 | 1837215 optimator
optimator's picture

One outstanding feature put Heidleberg on top decades ago and what they're called says it all.

Heidleberg High Spreed Printing Press.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:38 | 1837301 pavman
pavman's picture

What a crazy new world we're living in... HP getting out of the PC business as the only quality player left and BMW getting *into* the printing business.  Let's just hope the printers aren't as cheap as some of the plastic components they use in their automobiles!

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:58 | 1837431 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

Their plastic components are pretty decent, actually.  It's their goddamned electric engineering that leaves a lot to be desired.  Goddamn windows, sunroofs and sometimes even the AC buttons malfunction.  Great driving machine otherwise.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 16:44 | 1838560 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

BMW= Bernanke's Monetization Weapon...

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:01 | 1837127 monkeys.pick.bottoms
monkeys.pick.bottoms's picture

deleted; I can't be original any more:D

ps John Galt is alive

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:24 | 1837232 knukles
knukles's picture

So is Hunter Thompson.  We're merely characters in his new book, "Fear and Loathing at the End."

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 13:10 | 1837476 DosZap
DosZap's picture

who is john galt?

At this point appears to be Walter Mitty.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:23 | 1836881 maxw3st
maxw3st's picture

It's that newspaper model Bernanke has his eyes on. He's getting one for Geithner for Christmas.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:25 | 1836898 smithcreek
smithcreek's picture

Not the toilet paper version?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:09 | 1837161 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

So nobody's getting Timmy a cock punch? He's been begging for one for as long as I can remember.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:23 | 1836885 Ancona
Ancona's picture

Fuck yeah! High speed printing, it's what every central banker wants for Christmas a winter season gift.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:23 | 1836886 Carlyle Groupie
Carlyle Groupie's picture

Catch me if you can says Bennie.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:23 | 1836888 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

hell, he can't even get a decent corn beef sandwich in heidelberg.........

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:25 | 1837240 knukles
knukles's picture

Well I can't one in California either so we're even.  That get me a printer and a cock punch? 

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:25 | 1836895 bania
bania's picture

I guess this will replace dot-matrix?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:25 | 1836896 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

Benny is oozing the what now?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:25 | 1836899 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

Kondratieff Winter  anyone?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:25 | 1836900 Roland99
Roland99's picture

The only place to buy the ink cartridges is at Staples. And they're *never* on sale!

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:33 | 1836968 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Bennie can return each old ink cartridge for $2 in Staples Rewards.  He can then use the Staples Rewards to buy additional ink cartridges.  If he needs more paper, he can go get giant packages of Charmin at Costco.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:25 | 1836901 Lets_Eat_Ben
Lets_Eat_Ben's picture

Who is Ron Paul?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:30 | 1836944 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

justanuther loser......

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:31 | 1836954 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

The guy that Americans don't deserve.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:34 | 1836974 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea they really do deserve whats coming.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:56 | 1837105 Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's picture

Agreed.  But unfortunately I'm one of "they".  Sigh.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:26 | 1836902 km4
km4's picture

Must print $$$ faster

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:26 | 1836904 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Ben: Beautiful piece of art work . I'll take three.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:30 | 1836945 uhb
uhb's picture

german craftsmanship....makes me proud :)

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:48 | 1837053 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That is why I drive a BMW. It's like driving a piece of art.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:52 | 1837082 Shinjuku
Shinjuku's picture

Me, too

Deutsche Wertarbeit at its finest!

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:58 | 1837282 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture

Some of the best tooling I have ever seen is German. I use to work on a Heidelberg Press when I was in my 20's. An awesome piece of equipment - very fast.



Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:26 | 1836905 dirtydroog
dirtydroog's picture

He should be ordering RepRap printing machines. Then he can print machines that print machines and then who knows!

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 12:35 | 1837290 knukles
knukles's picture

Could just mimeograph the shit for all it's worth.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:27 | 1836910 xcehn
xcehn's picture


Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:27 | 1836913 Parisnights
Parisnights's picture

Goes to show you... the printing will not stop until morale improves. 

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:27 | 1836914 docmac324
docmac324's picture

Boy-oh-boy, here we go, again.  Why don't they just add zeros to their electonic databases?  Same difference.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:29 | 1836930 uhb
uhb's picture

because the german gdp doesnt go up then

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:27 | 1836916 No One
No One's picture

does this bad boy use HP Ink, or did the Bernank also get fed up with HP's lack of direction?

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!