This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Here Is What Bernanke Has Been Secretely Ordering From Heidelberg
Presenting... The Heidelberg: Mainstream 80, Web-fed Rotary Printer
And from the all too appropriate description, highlights ours:
Power Printing
Design Challenge: To create a strategic design system for Heidelberg and its large number of recently acquired companies. This expansion of the parent brand required strategic design to integrate and express the brand in all possible products from desktop to newspaper press printing.
To redesign Heidelberg's current line of mix-matched products into an integrated system of printing presses that would reflect the high quality of the brand, and the press technology itself and specifically, appeal to the American market.
We established a foreground color palette that is silver, conveying high quality, similar to what is used in high-tech products. We kept the background, interior colors dark for practical reasons, cleaning needs and durability.
These enormous, complex machines are assembled by hand so that no two installations are the same. It is an assembly of thousands of parts and sub assemblies. Our designs are modular and, continuing the architectural design language theme, carry an intuitive conceptual "erector set" assemblage.
The designs have unified Heidelberg's systems as well as reinvigorated their teams with a renewed sense of pride.
Source: DesignworksUSA
h/t Hedgeless Horseman
- 26536 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -







who is john galt?
Im long ink
Bennie and the Inkjets are actually ordering 310 million of them. No more need for food stamps then. He gets the bulk discount, and he just might get free shipping to each of us also.
Good thing they're getting the bulk discount. I'd hate to think the central planners are wasting taxpayer money.
All your ink are belong to us.....
He'll make it rain for sure now!
The Fed is using 9.7 TONS OF INK PER DAY printing money.
Bureau of Engraving and Printing still "prints" the currency for the FED. The FED does it's real printing with the "magic" computer (custom titanium zero key on the keyboard). I am not sure, if the Treasury still has to print the bonds they sell, it may have gone all electronic, too. The push is to phase out paper money, and use electronic transfers for the majority of transactions. The fly in the ointment with that plan is the overseas use of the dollar as currency (hell Ecuador's whole country operates on US currency, fools).
Heidelberg should protect it's future by investing in the manufacture of ore crushing and refining equipment for the once and future money, silver and gold.
Ben "Shylock" Bernank, a pound of flesh will be required of you just above your heart! Oups forgot you don't have a heart....
hey, mr_p!
here is the guy who designed the web-based app:not>do-chen
Bernanke could save a bundle if he signed up for Staples Rewards!
"That was easy!"
And if you click on the pictures you'll see the printers are made by BMW.
Does this make the printer, "The Ultimate Printing Machine"?
MUST....PRINT....DOLLARS...
One outstanding feature put Heidleberg on top decades ago and what they're called says it all.
Heidleberg High Spreed Printing Press.
What a crazy new world we're living in... HP getting out of the PC business as the only quality player left and BMW getting *into* the printing business. Let's just hope the printers aren't as cheap as some of the plastic components they use in their automobiles!
Their plastic components are pretty decent, actually. It's their goddamned electric engineering that leaves a lot to be desired. Goddamn windows, sunroofs and sometimes even the AC buttons malfunction. Great driving machine otherwise.
BMW= Bernanke's Monetization Weapon...
deleted; I can't be original any more:D
ps John Galt is alive
So is Hunter Thompson. We're merely characters in his new book, "Fear and Loathing at the End."
who is john galt?
At this point appears to be Walter Mitty.
It's that newspaper model Bernanke has his eyes on. He's getting one for Geithner for Christmas.
Not the toilet paper version?
So nobody's getting Timmy a cock punch? He's been begging for one for as long as I can remember.
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/2561/idiocracy2006dvdripac3e.jpg
Fuck yeah! High speed printing, it's what every central banker wants for Christmas a winter season gift.
Catch me if you can says Bennie.
hell, he can't even get a decent corn beef sandwich in heidelberg.........
Well I can't one in California either so we're even. That get me a printer and a cock punch?
I guess this will replace dot-matrix?
Benny is oozing the what now?
Kondratieff Winter anyone?
The only place to buy the ink cartridges is at Staples. And they're *never* on sale!
Bennie can return each old ink cartridge for $2 in Staples Rewards. He can then use the Staples Rewards to buy additional ink cartridges. If he needs more paper, he can go get giant packages of Charmin at Costco.
Who is Ron Paul?
justanuther loser......
The guy that Americans don't deserve.
Yea they really do deserve whats coming.
Agreed. But unfortunately I'm one of "they". Sigh.
Must print $$$ faster
Ben: Beautiful piece of art work . I'll take three.
german craftsmanship....makes me proud :)
That is why I drive a BMW. It's like driving a piece of art.
Me, too
Deutsche Wertarbeit at its finest!
Some of the best tooling I have ever seen is German. I use to work on a Heidelberg Press when I was in my 20's. An awesome piece of equipment - very fast.
He should be ordering RepRap printing machines. Then he can print machines that print machines and then who knows!
Could just mimeograph the shit for all it's worth.
Wanker.
Goes to show you... the printing will not stop until morale improves.
Boy-oh-boy, here we go, again. Why don't they just add zeros to their electonic databases? Same difference.
because the german gdp doesnt go up then
does this bad boy use HP Ink, or did the Bernank also get fed up with HP's lack of direction?
They'd never use HP ink - it would cost over a buck to print a buck with that stuff -- coke is cheaper than HP ink or toner, for that matter.
Can that thing print DM's?
heck , we germans know how to fold tin :)
I voted for the printing before I voted against it.
Four colour bitchez
with spot UV varnish and an inline slitter too...
Thats all well and good, but what about the helicopters? Any news out of boeing, Sikorsky, bell? Its one thing to have a product everyone wants but distribution is everything.
give money directly to the people?
Where would the PDs and banksters get their cut from that?
Hedgless Horseman you magnificent bastard!
they need to come out with the $200, $500 and $1,000 banknotes if they want to save on ink. Dead presidents featured on the notes are Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D Roosevelt and Richard Nixon
Yes, those dead presidents desrve their pictures on the single ply paper the Fed puts out. But their shame won't last. It's just a matter of time before we have 10,000 and 100,000 notes. Then inflation will accellerate and there will be no time to redesign the notes. They'll just decree that the 10K note is now worth 10M. Then they'll kill the dollar and move on to a new currency (SDR's?). I lived that reality in Brazil in the late 80's. Unfortuantely, this time the whole world gets to live it.
It would be cheaper and offer better control over the proles' assets, if any, if those dead president pictures were on plastic ATM cards.
The image of Millard Fillmore will rise again.
We've already had $100,000 notes and that had Woodrow Wilson's pic on it...when I was a kid, a relative showed me some $1,000 bills in a collection...worth a lot more then.
LBJ should also be included, He ranks right up there with FDR, with his Guns and butter policies.
I think we will be seeing Red Back dollars soon.....
I don't see the Model 90 anywhere. That baby converts to an abattoir and also "features interior colors dark for practical reasons, cleaning needs and durability."
Oh WOW!! I want one!
I thought this was a joke...then I clicked on the pics and it took me to the source.
I thought this was a joke...then I clicked on the pics and it took me to the source.
Global economy REALLY sucks! I want off this ride.
I'm gonna be patriotic and start printing my own money so I can provide stimulus to the economy
so heidelberg hm?
Everything ties back to the */%&& germans.
To be named the "Weimar" model.
Yes! The Weimar 7000 series...
http://www.let.rug.nl/usa/P/tj3/writings/brf/jefl222.htm
in a letter from thomas jefferson to john adams, tom explains to john that yids have a inherent problem with ethics , and morality.......
that be right tom, that be right........
Kill the Gentile Who Studies the Torah
The Jewish Talmud and Legally Murdering Your Neighbor
Judaism Permits Child Sacrifices to Moloch
The Jewish Bankers
Anti-Christ World Government
Well, you know what they say?
You gotta print money to spend money. Er, is that, you gotta spend money to print money?
I never can get that right!
but what about the Print-o-Matic 5000 from ACME? It's guaranteed to run, without the need for human interaction for up to 1 quadrillion dollars...can this machine boast such a guarantee? I think not...also, thanks to it's sturdy construction, ease of installation and super AI core computer and ultra damage resistant adamantium casing it will continue to print off much needed fiat paper notes even in the event of a zombie apocalypse...I know there is no way this printer could do that.
yet another sad and wasteful allocation of taxpayer dollars...
Fuck you. I use gold and silver. Eat shit and die.
Built with plans leftover from the Third Reich.
We can always hope Ol' Ben falls into the rollers and gums up the works....
Conterfeiting is Bernanke's main skill.
I am surprised there was no mention of the possibility that Kimberly-Clark would be the recipient of these fabulous machines?!?!
....and it is not even made in the U.S.
Why use a machine? The government should print them by hand. It would solve the unemployment problem too!
With Obama and Ben and TBTF's at the helm, deflation will not be a problem over the next year. There will be absolutely zero real haircuts to our own unfunded imbalances; meanwhile, you just know damn well the Greek's will pass the bailout, "solidify" Europe, and that can will also be kicked for about another year or so as worries over Italy and Spain get put on the backburner.
In other words, I've decided there is absolutely nothing but noise for now that will be all sound and fury signifying nothing until next year. After no QE announcement today, for god sakes the WTI is already around 94, I will likely do a short term market short.....any meaningful pullbacks will be simply be more of the same: BTFD in which I'll cover and go long. I think there is a lot of hope in this market: and everyone knows not to fight the Fed on the day or days after their meetings no matter what the market actually thinks: the ALGO's are always totally primed for these events to lift markets even when they are disappointed, which is why you have to wait until next week. That is simply how the Fed thinks: they do not want to appear to be the only thing that matters in world-wide markets, even though they are. It's why they want markets to behave when they speak: not too far up or down--they need price propaganda to not show their hand to the plebs. So any spikes duing the rest of the week I'll short: only to cover to BTFD if it finally looks like the end of the world again.
And that's how to play this cycle, albeit it is literally all bullshit: 100% of it.
You got that right. And you know they've got to save those QEs for just prior to the Nov. elections......
No, I disagree. They've got to save the QE's, probably for next summer, for a major correction in equities, crude, etc. and just as importantly they need to save the Bazooka Nuke Option just in case Europe doesn't pan out. Because they have no idea how much in LSAP's will be needed if there is banking contagion. For today, they are just gonna talk the market along and nothing else.
so is secretely a portmanteau? the words secret and discretely? very chic
More likely intended as secrete. Picture the purulent ooze emanating from ben's anal glands.
Very strong resemblance to $USD.
Can Mugabe get one of these roller printers ? No, he's too busy with Corrective Rape, Necklacing Parties and Genital Mutilation ! Monedas 2011 In comparison.....lynching seems humane !
New model Heildelburg for Benie. It's called the Hindenburg QE 3.
The Doomsday Machine in all its glory...
And it just goes on and on and on....until it stops.
We must not allow a high speed printing gap! /joke
www.pmbug.com
Bernanke already has a 3d currency printing machine, whereby stacks and stacks of newly minted benjamins can be produced with the touch of a button.
Should outsource this work to North Korea. I've heard they produce high quality FRNs.
I remember the History Channel showing a program at the end of 1999 featuring the greatest inventions of the millennium. #1 on the list - the printing press by Johanes Gutenberg in 1450. Certainly the Ben Bernanke concurs.
Bernie does his printing on the back of a Hooters napkin.
"I owes uz a bagillion dollars hic!"
Be ready to be paid every hour.
I got into Silver at $7.00 but that's just bragging now.
Time line http://www.nowandfutures.com/us_weimar.html
Careful Ben...those printers may seem like a good deal now, but Heidelberg-Packard will fuck you on the toner.
does it come with free usb cord?
It does, however, it's labeled, "For Primary Dealer Use Only".
Minister Farrakhan Gives Ron Paul A Thumbs Up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEFa3yndLj0&feature=youtu.be
How ironic that the choice color of the Heidelberg fiat VomiTron 80 is....silver.
Fuck it, couldnt' figure out what to tell my wife to get me for christ-- maas, so i'll just tell her get me one of them.
Think she'll mind??
In the 1980s, Bolivia's largest import was its own currency. Maybe we will match that. It's good to have a goal.
But can they print the comics?
Forget we said anything about it until we are finished printing Deutsche Marks. Scheise.
how many btu's per note?
http://www.mtholyoke.edu/~jiang20j/classweb/worldpolitics/images/weimar%...
The printing press has been around since 1440. If printing money is the solution to our problems, after 571 years, how come we aren't all rich, prosperous and dallying around our heated outside pools? Me wants to know!
Booooyaaaaah!
I love the smell of ink in the morning. Seriously, I do.
Damn that Gutenberg guy. He's responsible for all the fiat currencies.
He rollingbearings! Did you supply the bearings on that machine? :)
Not working out so well.... all the new 100's have serious quality control issues.....
http://qualityinprint.blogspot.com/2010/12/billion-dollar-fiasco-us-100-...
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/big-bad-bills-fed-stuck-bad-100s/story?id...
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/big-bad-bills-fed-stuck-bad-100s/story?id...
Hopefully Heidelberg had the sense to demand payment for the machinery in Gold.
Made in Germany, you know the Germans make good stuff, like the Shamwow.
Can I haz Heidelburger?
Why YES YOU CAN! And you can keep printing until you've used up all nine lives.
And they're in Europe, much closer to the immediate demand.
Cmon guys I'm not feeling the love for the ponzi on this site.
The sheeple love free money yaaaayyy
There will be dancing in the streets when the heli drop begins....
Hmmmm.
this is a great printing set up all the bearings are sealed so you don't need any greece