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How To Hide Your Gold: A Bloomberg Primer

Tyler Durden's picture




 

A world insolvency crisis, a Thermidorian reaction in Egypt, a hard landing in China, the first non-PIIGS nationalized bank... The world is on fire yet despite all of the above (or rather due to) what is the topic of one of the most commented articles on Bloomberg over the past week? Why how to hide one's gold. Bloomberg's Ben Steverman writes: "If you’re looking for a safe place to put your investments, Chad Venzke has a suggestion: Dig a hole in the
ground four feet deep, pack gold and silver in a piece of plastic PVC pipe, seal it, and bury it. Venzke is hardly the only investor who wants his precious metals nearby at all times. A pound of gold worth about $24,000 can easily fit in a pocket; how to protect it is a decision that carries expensive consequences. Do-it-yourself investors who don't trust banks must find creative storage options, whether burying gold in the yard, submerging it in a koi pond, stashing it behind air-conditioning ducts, or placing it under carpets." Indeed, as Venezuela is about to reclaim possession of its tons of gold from UK vaults, even as the Dutch central bank proudly admit to hiding its own gold in precisely the same venues that are no longer good enough even for Chavez, the topic of where one should hide their physical is rapidly becoming a very incendiary. One thing is certain: among the hard core "physical" community, the idea of storing it in the same banking system that would be insolvent once the fiat status quo collapses, is verboten anathema. So what are the options?

Bloomberg continues.

[T]here are growing piles of precious metals in, under, or near American homes. From mid-2010 to mid-2011, U.S. investors bought up more than 100 tonnes of physical gold coins and bars, up from 15.2 tonnes in 2007, according to the World Gold Council. (A tonne, or metric ton, is 1,000 kilograms.) Worldwide bar and coin demand rose 37 percent during the mid-2010 to mid-2011 period, according to the Council, even as demand from exchange-traded funds backed by physical gold, and similar products, fell 84 percent.

 

The notion of keeping one’s gold in a safety deposit box—inside the banks many gold aficionados find so untrustworthy—is anathema to many gold bugs. Venzke, who predicts "runaway inflation" and a crisis leading to a "new form of currency within this decade," worries that the boxes won't be accessible if banks shut down in a crisis. "How are you supposed to get your stuff out of there?" he asks.

 

For those storing gold and silver in or around their home, the most immediate danger isn’t a crisis or a dip in metal prices. It’s theft. The FBI, which tallies the theft of precious metals and jewelry in one category, says $1.6 billion was stolen in 2010, up 51 percent from 2005. Just 4.2 percent of the lost loot was recovered last year.

 

Metal detectors are a big worry. Basic detectors can find metal on the surface or in the first 12 inches to 14 inches below ground, depending on soil conditions, says Louis Mahnken Jr., a sales representative for Kellyco Metal Detectors in Winter Springs, Fla. That’s why Venzke advises burying it at least four feet deep. There are online debates about the best way to frustrate such thieves, including using scrap metal as decoys or hiding metal by covering it underground with asbestos or mirrors.

 

Metal owners also use the "hiding in plain sight" maneuver. According to dealers, some customers buy 100-oz. silver bars, paint them black, and use them as doorstops. That's foolish, says Steven Ellsworth, a coin dealer in Clifton, Va., who teaches security classes for the American Numismatic Assn.

 

Safes can certainly deter thieves. Yet an inexpensive fire safe may be exactly the wrong place to put your valuables. Richard Krasilovsky, president of Empire Safe, calls such safes "handy carrying cases for burglars." A fire safe is designed to protect papers from fire, not from intruders, says Ryan Smith, a senior product manager at SentrySafe. "It wouldn’t be wise to put any more than $20,000 of valuables in our products," he says.

Yet, as many of the more pragmatic survivalists have pointed out, in a game of rock, gold or lead, it is the latter that usually wins:

[W]hether gold is buried, put in a safe, or hidden under your bed, there’s nothing to stop a determined person with a gun from making you show them where you put it. That’s why it’s important no one ever know you have gold in the first place. Krasilovsky’s company will deliver safes in the middle of the night, installing them where no one, including a contractor, is likely to stumble across them.

 

"People have to be extraordinarily secretive," Krasilovsky says. This secrecy keeps away not only thieves but also prying relatives and the tax man. "One of the benefits of owning precious metals is nobody knows you own it," Venzke says. "It’s the most private investment you can make."

 

Unless, of course, you feel compelled to post youtube videos sharing insights about where to stash your gold.

So, without posting videos of their personal explots in this matter, we querry Zero Hedge readers, many of whom are certainly not in the pro-fiat camp, to share their perspectives on what in their view is the best storage place for the one true currency.

 

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Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:43 | 1756079 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Hide your " XAU" in molten  " Kimberly flutes"...

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:55 | 1756114 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture

This guy " Chad Venzke" is a complete idiot.

 

It would take about 10 minutes to  find out where this guy lives.

And anybody could reach across the fence with a 9mm in his face and say "Time to pick up a shovel, buddy".

How Incredibly stupid can you be to announce to the world that you have buried PMs in your back yard.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:08 | 1756161 eureka
eureka's picture

Yeah... and how incredibly pathetic to have no one to trust. 

In survivalist world every man is an island.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:03 | 1756539 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

I usually just eat mine.  They're delicious and I have the comfort of knowing that when SHTF, I'll just take a dump and all will be alright.

Disclaimer: I own NO precious metals.  In fact, I don't even know what they are.  Gold?  Silver?  Uh...yeah, I have a gold credit card from American Express and I have some Coors light in the fridge.  

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:23 | 1756711 margaris
margaris's picture

I bet the second time it tastes not so delicious anymore...

I understand how you could do that one time.

But how do you rotate every day? Isnt that a tiny little bit gross?

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 20:57 | 1759574 Old Poor Richard
Old Poor Richard's picture

I haven't had the chance to go through all Chad's "Please Rob Me" youtube videos yet, wonder if he covers hiding PMs in his alimentary canal?  Can you hide a .50 cal up there, too?

http://www.youtube.com/user/cvenzke410

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:40 | 1756226 TN Jed
TN Jed's picture

Monsterboxavatar says what?

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:41 | 1756378 gdogus erectus
gdogus erectus's picture

What's a monster box?

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:51 | 1756399 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

A (typically sealed) Mint box of 500 1-ounce silver coins. Usually from US or Canadian Mints.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:30 | 1756567 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

The guy from Empire Safe says they'll come in and install the safe without anyone knowing.  Well, except for them!  

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:28 | 1756714 margaris
margaris's picture

Exactly... only the old kings, counts and earls knew how to handle this mess:

they hired contractors and killed them afterwards.

I have heard that some clever contractors where building not only the safe place for the masters gold, but also a secret hideaway to be able to disappear once the job is finished...

You have to know your customers intend, lol

 

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 02:11 | 1756603 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

lol

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:44 | 1756380 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

And you trust the banks? Who is the bigger idiot? If someone wants to steal my gold, they will need to swim through sharks with laser beams on their heads and get through my trusted body guard with his Japanese throwing hat. If they get the gold, it was well earned. If the gold is in a bank, they just need to change some small print to steal it. Nothing is completely secure. At least the back yard is watched by someone I trust.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:06 | 1756544 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

and the government can always put a lock on your bank safe deposit box and take it away at their own discretion.  the safest place to store your PMs is...um...I wouldn't know because I don't own any.  Ahem.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 03:17 | 1756634 natty light
natty light's picture

Oddjob was Korean I believe.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:36 | 1756760 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Oddjob is dead. Long live his Japanese replacement!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:48 | 1756767 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Ahhhhh that's nice......you got a Puddy Cat...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:13 | 1756671 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

There is an ideal way of hiding gold, just dissolve it in: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aqua_regia .

When Germany invaded Denmark in World War II, the Hungarian chemist George de Hevesy dissolved the gold Nobel Prizes of the German physicists Max von Laue (1914) and James Franck (1925) in aqua regia to prevent the Nazis from confiscating them. The German government had prohibited Germans from accepting or keeping any Nobel Prize after the jailed peace activist Carl von Ossietzky had received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1935. De Hevesy placed the resulting solution on a shelf in his laboratory at the Niels Bohr Institute. It was subsequently ignored by the Nazis who thought the jar—one of perhaps hundreds on the shelving—contained common chemicals. After the war, de Hevesy returned to find the solution undisturbed and precipitated the gold out of the acid. The gold was returned to the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences and the Nobel Foundation who recast the medals and again presented them to Laue and Franck.

Chemistry bitches.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 07:53 | 1756860 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

 

I hear it's best practices to use jellyfish bags to transport concentrated liquids; you can imagine the sting that doesn't happen.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 09:14 | 1757065 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

I hear there's a nice sting from this stuff http://www.thelongestway.com/20110730/aqua-regia.html . There you have an idea for container.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:56 | 1756119 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

the best place to hide gold is where there's some other metal decoy to avoid detectors. washing machines are good because nobody will steal them. so are radiators. and hedge by spreading it around. determined thieves who know you have gold will get to it, your goal is to prevent them from getting to all of it. so unless you're in a compound and armed to the teeth, another important factor is making sure nobody around you knows you own quantities of metals.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:21 | 1756188 diesheepledie
diesheepledie's picture

But some of us kind of do live in compounds armed to the teeth. My current upgrade is a pair of Dobe's that I'm trying to train to patrol the perimeter. No IEDs ... yet.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:39 | 1756224 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

You probably know this better than I do but if you're going to go the compound route you'd better be prepared for an onslought — raiders will congregate to them, even if you're deep in the country.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:47 | 1756507 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

'My current upgrade is a pair of Dobe's that I'm trying to train to patrol the perimeter...' - a simple sausage will sort that one, laced with rat poison, obviously. It's then just a matter of digging a hole...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 14:01 | 1758278 thewhitelion
thewhitelion's picture

Zeus! Appollo! Patrol lads.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:46 | 1756245 Libertarians fo...
Libertarians for Prosperity's picture

 

 

I've always found that GLD and SLV work perfectly fine if I'm looking for some silver and gold exposure.  That being said, I'm a little unfamiliar with the logistics of burying physical metals.  So...a quick question for all the doomer goons: when you bury your super shiny tokens in the backyard, do you find it more effective to use a shovel, or your "hind legs?"

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

Libertarians 2012: For those who think Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann just aren't goofy enough.     

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:19 | 1756329 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

You sir, are a class act, LOL.

People who have no desire to protect or invest in their fellow man are curious creatures to me. You are difficult to relate to, but that is what I think you are.

When you shave in mirror in the morning, do you hate yourself? Or do you just not feel anything at all?

I have this undying motivation to protect those around me, those important to me. It feeds me. I get up everyone morning fresh and ready to rough it up with the world. My gift is this inner compass, that just knows the way. I have to educate, to speak over those who are wrong, to motivate those who can be better. I am gonna teach when I financially secure; science and tech, maybe in rural Alaska. I got ten years in my present saddle before I can think about going there, but that is how I am going to pass in this world; the old, hard ass teacher in the bush of the most beautiful place on gods earth.

I feel like I belong to something bigger, more important, something inter-generational. Here I am trying to gut you like a fish, on a public forums. Do you feel it?

I struggle to understand how you might treat your children, what lessons, what values you might suggest they place on the altar.

On that note, I hope your children are responsible for caring for you in old age, when you are vulnerable and dependant.

Regards,

Cooter

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:28 | 1756348 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I hear ya cooter, I love the bush myself.

Tue, 10/11/2011 - 10:12 | 1756546 Smithovsky
Smithovsky's picture

"I am gonna teach when I financially secure"

When you do, ask yourself "is our children learning?"

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:46 | 1756384 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

@ Cooter

That was a very fine response.  You are a class act, I wish you well in your efforts to make things better for those you cherish now and later.  Inter-generational, that's really top quality thinking.

+ $1650 and green for gutting a nasty fish on a public forum.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:14 | 1756438 X.inf.capt
X.inf.capt's picture

Excellent, cooter...
That showed really class,
You should have gone O instead of E...
I did E in the RA
NCO in the reserves
And O in the NG.
The girls were much better looking for the O's
But the girls were much more fun for the E's...
Well, see ya around, boys..
Got to go to CALI for a family thing...
I'll be out of the net for awhile...
Remember, keep your heads down...
And keep your ass lower then you heads...
OUT HERE!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:55 | 1756592 vato poco
vato poco's picture

I must be getting old & cynical, Cooter. I see where everybody's giving you love and agreeing with you that you're a wonderful person - better than the soulless, money-grubbing folks who merely want to look after themselves and their families.

Which is, like, totally weird, because I read your screed as pompous, condescending, and self-congratulatory. When you shave in the mirror in the morning, do you blow kisses to yourself? Or do you limit yourself to merely feeling all breathless and tingly? Ah, well. Takes all kinds, I guess. See, the problem is, Daddy always said "Never do business with a man who tells you how honest he is; nor take advice from a man who tells you how spiritual he is. If they actually *were* those things, they wouldn't feel the need to advertise. Since they do, they ain't."

But hey, maybe Daddy was wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. I know! We could test it Since you "have this undying motivation to protect thoser around [you]", **I'm** feeling vulnerable and unprotected right now. A $10,000 gift would go a long way towards "motivating me to be better". Whattya say, O wise, hard-ass Sensei??

Regards, ese - Vato Poco

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 03:19 | 1756635 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I will make it very simple. I feel that within two years basic families will struggle do to basic things like feed their children given their existing jobs.

Nothing more simple than that.

So, if I am wrong, god fucking bless.

If I am right, I hope you hang.

And all that shit I said about shaving in the mirror; that applies to you too. I am a sheep dog and my flock is very important to me. Don't fuck with my flock.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:02 | 1756662 vato poco
vato poco's picture

Aaaaannnnd, just like that. Quick as a bunny, the instant his steaming load is challenged as such, Cooter morphs from Jesus, Junior to Mad-Dog Rambo. Daddy also always said its mean to taunt the crazy people, so you just have you a super-nice & lovely day, you too-beautiful-for-this-world-psycho-killa-SEAL-terrifier, you.

Regards, Vato

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:55 | 1756771 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Why don't you find a used condom and go fuck yourself. And for all the add-on HuPo trolls to follow, aren't you guys all missing the big circle jerk back in DC?

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:18 | 1757298 The Chief
The Chief's picture

Vato, That was fabulous! I've been watching these trolls slink around ZH for awhile...undermining rational thought...supporting and attacking anyone that confronts Obama and van Jone's  'lost children" with their phoney OWS game. It's a thought crime to state a position that would be found on these guys daily "talking points" memos.

They are uncovered.

Tue, 10/11/2011 - 05:26 | 1760331 zhandax
zhandax's picture

In case anyone missed exactly what an add-on HuPo troll looks like...here is a prima facie example.  If you believe the US Constitution supports the concept of "thought crime" we will see to it you are offended frequently.

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 16:35 | 1870818 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

God, this reminds of the recent debate in colorado Springs. Should "Hate Speech" be protected?  Didn't these fucks ever hear of the Bill Of Rights? Its already protected you brain dead retards!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 02:34 | 1756612 Libertarians fo...
Libertarians for Prosperity's picture

 

 

Spare me the cheesy faux-altruism, Cooter. You're a libertarian; objectivists shrug off altruism as morally weak. Sink or swim, right? Survival of the fittest is the cornerstone of your cruel, selfish ideology, so don't try to pass yourself off as altruistic when you're really not. With rare exception, most anyone will try to protect one's family and friends, so to distinguish yourself with that means nothing.  Who wouldn't?  

The real question is, do you truly care about others outside your immediate sphere? Do you truly care about the welfare of the poor, the down-trodden and the less fortunate? You know the ones... they're the people who are continually ridiculed around here as lazy parasites, as a drag on the prosperity and riches that unfettered capitalism is suppose to produce for you and your fellow John Galt wannabes. You're suppose to shrug them off, right?  One of the most common characteristics among libertarians is extreme apathy toward the welfare of others. You guys don't give a flying fuck about the suffering and oppression of others, while you completely ignore the sheer cosmic luck of your own lot in life.  And that's something I've only learned by reading the thousands of utterly despicable comments around here. There's a reason why SNL mocked Ron Paul by asking him if he'd save puppy dogs in a burning house; satire only works with threads of truth. With your urban warfare fantasies and apocalyptic dreams, don't try to hide behind the smokescreen of altruism.  Ms Rand would be so disappointed in you. 

And that's why I feel absolutely no guilt or remorse for mocking libertarians. You guys rightly deserve it.  It's the most selfish, most hateful, most spiteful, least compassionate group of individuals I've ever come across.  

Tyler, save me from your followers.....

 

 

 

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:02 | 1756663 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

You don't understand, because you didn't have to pay the price. Let me share with you.

When I was in sixth grade, in AR public schools, I had the hots for Loretta. She was a doll, I thought. Until she was singled out as having lice because of family issues. The poor girl was ruined (and she was beautiful). She was shit after that. It took me years to understand and come to terms with beauty.

You don't know what it is like growing up poor you fucking son of a bitch.

A guy that used to help us cut fire wood for winter sold my dad lever action rifle; he needed money. That rifle is my favortite weapon on gods green earth. It was a .357 carbine lever action. I felt like John fucking Wayne every time I loaded a round in that fucker. I never brought home a deer because I was very impatient as a youngster. My dad, god bless him, sold it back AT PAR many years later because he is a good man.

You sir, dont know what is like growing up poor. It will crush you when you have to accept it.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:28 | 1756677 malikai
malikai's picture

It's nice to see a man of character on here. Growing up poor made me appreciate hard work and gave me the real tools for success.

I tip my hat to you, your father, and your mother.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:35 | 1756684 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

I don't know about you lot but I grew up fucking loaded!

Poor people of the world unite I say!, and then go and get a fucking job...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 08:03 | 1756875 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

 

Where's the love? Your like-thinking neighbors think only when you turn your back and/or die so they can take what they foolishly think you have. Please don't put the "loaded" curse on your children. God bless the child that gets his/her own.

Tue, 10/11/2011 - 03:47 | 1760299 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Ahem, I will put my poverty up against anybody here at ZH.  Ever had popcorn for dinner as a child?  Because it was the only thing in the house, and the next day nothing at all?  This is not a competition I want to win, but when you are a 9 year old boy in Nebraska trust me you do not want to show up in school in a shirt that is actually a recycled blouse from your older sister.  At one point my brother started crashing Sunday school at the Nazarene Church in North Platte because they had cookies.  The ancient asshole preacher tried to get the county to remove us from our mother's custody because of dire poverty.

There was no welfare to speak of then, no food stamps, no healthcare, no nothing but charity which somehow hit all the good christian families in need but always missed my single mother.  And it would not have been so bad had Dad just paid the court ordered child support, it was only 150 a month, for three kids, but he was a drunk that could not pay and he refused anyway because Mom had taken us from California to Nebraska, he claimed that violated his visitation agreement so he did not have to pay the support.  Nice guy eh?  Liked his money, though, booze and broads.  His kids eating popcorn for dinner.  He was such a good republican. 

I get 3,605 bucks a month as a totally disabled vet, not even the average or median income, but enough that society does not have to feel bad about taking my life and destroying it, I cannot ever make more but no more fucking popcorn.  And last week I looked out my window and saw the house across the field was on fire.  The couple living there had just moved from New Jersey so the husband could work at Lowes for 12 bucks an hour, they had no insurance.  Total loss.  I gave Red Cross 30 bucks in their name and wished to god I could have made it more.  I am not saying that to get green arrows from the softies here, I really wish I had more to give. 

My Mom who had it so hard with four kids and not even a minimum wage back then, she was educated, had an IQ way over genius level, poise and grace you only see in movies, and was strikingly beautiful by any standards, she just loved us each, so totally and unconditionally, something most of you would know nothing about.  She died the youngest in our family history by 20 years.  I miss her of course, but she deserved a lot better out of life and never had a moment of justice, yet she had us and that was enough for her. 

It was wrong then for justice to be denied, it always has been and it always will be.  Those that have anything only have it because they took from others, that is economy, it works till greed gets into the picture, the moment greed and hoarding and me ageist you becomes the rule then it really is me against you, and guess what, the me way outnumbers the you's.  It happens over and over all through human history, there is an equilibrium where the rich have about three times what the poor have, and beyond that just like a tectonic plate pressure builds, one day there is an earthquake that levels everything.

I took after Mom, I was a handsome young man and well endowed, with gifts both mental and physical.  But never had opportunity, to go to school, college, every employer I ever had fucked me over, they took money out for social security but never paid it in so social security says I did not work for many years I did.  I would never work for a private employer again, lax regulation means they can fuck you and you will not even know till it is too late. 

I honestly believe in the deepest part of me that capitalism is corrupt and is dying it's natural death.  There will be a socialism, or a PLANETISM, that will replace all other forms of economic structure, there will have to be within about three years or mankind will cease to exist as things are going now.  You may or may not like it and I just don't care, it will happen or we will die, in the one route we make things work, in the other we just don't, but I assure you making it work will mean the end of your Neocon ways.  And make sure you know that in this America can be the leader, because take away the billions and trillions of dollars of wealth at the expense of all others and you know what happens?  Nothing. 

Minds are still minds, art is still art, the world does not end.  And for once my 145 IQ and my ethics can shine as would make my mother proud, and so can your light shine.  You know what I really would like to do?  I would like to look for special madrone trees in this region to carefully cut down and saw into the most exquisite wood you ever saw.  And with the end of a hard days work doing what I love to do I want to go to a boy titty bar and have a good time, without a nanny telling me I can't smoke in a bar. 

Well, we live and dream.  So there will be 100 fewer deaths of lung cancer each year among restaurant and bar workers over the next 40 years, and all it took was 70 million smokers never to enter a public establishment again. 

Here is your love, but it is not legal in 26 red states.  There it is pretended that penises only ever enter vaginas of heterosexual spouses because that makes families stronger you know. 

Wed, 10/12/2011 - 00:38 | 1764488 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I never tried to suggest I went without, and was up front saying so. However I had many around me, that by virtue of growing up with them, saw what poverty did to them. I saw good people crushed as young people, their self esteem smashed, made something far less than they are; that will always color me for all my days.

You, are in a sense, the Loretta I spoke of. The thing I couldn't understand until later.

I must confess I used to keep pints and small envelopes with cash in them (small brown ones about the size of dollar folded in quarter). I would often ask those on the corners around Dallas; would you like a bottle or an envelope. I gave away far more pints than envelopes. The envelopes had (usually) double the price of a pint. Around the holidays, I was known to give full 1/5ths to groups of homeless (I lived in many areas around - so I knew where they would hand out near the intersections). On that note, I tried to learn the faces of those who asked for cash, determine if they were drinking, and hard lucks got cash instead of the option.

The real truth is I have spent my life trying to carve out a living, and by some measures, I am successful. I married, raised a kid (hers), and divorced when the marriage went south. However, as I get older, my mind changes, my goals move, and I increasingly want to make a difference with young people. I am not going to make it in a good school district where folks want to constrain what I have to offer. I need to be able to speak, without constraint, about the Roman Empire, or the Byzantine that followed. I want to talk about petro enginerring. About wars, about presidents, about Rockefellers, Carnegies, or Fords. I know how to make semi-conductors. I need to open up about Smedley's and Nimitz's. I have 15 years of applied comp sci across a range of industries and all the insights that brings.

If I get fired for teaching the truth in the bush, then fuck it, I won't make it as a teacher and I will go back to doing what I am doing now. But what I want to do is be a part of a small community, be valued for the special person that I am, and get to survive in what is the last frontier of this whole big world we have overgrown.

Do you know what it is like to wake up every day, 100s of miles from the next town, by boat, by plane? I see things on the way to work people pay to see on vacation. Alaska is a beautiful lady, and her face is never the same day to day. I can talk of this, but until you get slapped with it, you can't understand.

I will be picking up a part time job (after my full time job) to pay for my divorce and clear my debts. After that, I get to start thinking big and saving for real plans. I have to go back to school to teach, but they offer that down the street at the university.

I am going to do mathematics or public ed, or maybe both, employer willing.

Regards,

Cooter

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 16:40 | 1870833 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Just what exactly does dad's republicanism have to do with it?  You mean if he was a Liberal he should have sent mom to TJ to off your sorry ass with a coat hanger?

 

How did you ever make it without the government?

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:48 | 1756692 vato poco
vato poco's picture

Ummmm, just ONE teensy quick question: If growing in in crushing poverty - "poverty so bad it'd *crush* the likes of non-Arkansas peckerwood hillbillies like YEW!" - then how come the good folks of Haiti, Sub-Saharan Africe, and Butcher Holler, KY haven't conquered and rule the whole world? Why is that? Shorely them other softies, with they INDOAR PLUMMIN', and they ICEBOXES and they LECTRICAL BLANKETS would be instantly "crushed" by tough SOB's like that, right? And yet....

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:03 | 1756699 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Not necessarily. maybe they so poor they can't afford a boat...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:27 | 1756713 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Classy. I never claimed my roots were a gateway to anything but who I was today.

Do you understand that?

So, if I grow up rough in rural AR, does that make me a liberal, or a conservative? Clinton was from AR, right? Huckabee? I really don't care what you think about where I came from, or who you think I am, based on where I came from. Maybe I rejected where I came from when I left and started over (complex but true subject).

For the record, both of my parents had masters degrees and I never went without. But that did not mean I didn't have to bust my ass to earn my way. My old man still has property in AR and still gets by in AR. I didn't figure it out until much later in life. Funny that.

You are clearly here for political reasons. I hope your gig pays well when things fold and you don't have to whore your children for a round of corn bread. Wicked things come this way; Christians should rally round and protect themselves/family. The money changers circle like wolves and they are hungry for a meal.

May you find your place in the world, on the fork of the just, in the belly of the hungry you make.

Regards,

Cooter

P.S. I will defer to Smedly Butler regarding the application of military force to preserve status quo (i.e. fascism in the market place).

Always happy to debate substantive issues in this thread. I am here to learn, but increasingly, I am here to lead by example. Be a teacher, so I don't have to. But because you can not lead, I am prepared to. I am here to bust your ass, call you out, and show the way.

Thousands of readers will see this, who are you?

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:06 | 1756741 vato poco
vato poco's picture

Horseshit. You're not here to debate, Cooter, you're here to preach. 'The Gospel of Cooter', full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. As far as who you are, you *are* only what you say you are - just like all the other internet badasses & SEALS. ("Then, after I was awarded my SECOND Congressional Medal, I moved on to a career as a porn star.")

Your platitudes about debate, and learning, and leadership (?); along with your pathetic fantasies that you're "busting ass" on those who call you on your bullshit, mark you as either delusional, or just another garden-variety Internet Tough Guy. So go ahead, macho man. Call me out. Bust my ass. Show the way. The *TOPIC* of this thread was "Hiding PM's so's the bad guys cain't never find it". I've read loads of yammering reminisces, which may or may not be true - "We war durt-po' in Arkinsaw, but my Pa AND my Ma both had them a masters degree" - I've heard all about yore "gift, your inner compass" that allows you to "gut them naysayers like fish" - in your mind, anyway; I've heard about LO-retta & lice & How you're a mean ol' sheepdawg a-guardin his flock; and about how - despite Ma & Pa's masters and that legendary Arkinsaw toughness, you "aren't financially secure yet"; I've even heard about how you're a Good Christian and how they ought to rally the way you say they should - quelle surprise - but you hope the evildoers who call you on your jive are "fucking sons of bitches" and "you hope they hang". And you wanna talk to ME about "Classy"? It is to laugh.

But I haven't heard jack shit from you in re the - you know - the actual *topic* of the thread. Hiding PM's. So until then, go sell your self-aggrandizing bullshit to someone who's buying it, you fucking delusional hypocrite.

Regards, Vato

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:48 | 1756766 BigJim
BigJim's picture

MmmmHmmm. And we're all still waiting for your insights re. hiding PMs, ITG.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:58 | 1756774 vato poco
vato poco's picture

I categorically attest and deny that I do not now nor have I ever owned not even 1 single ounce of PM's, Jimbo. No reason for Uncle Sam or the IRS to ever pay me a visit, since all my money is in patriotic FRN's and T-bills. Why, I LOVE Big Brother!

As for suggestions, fellow ITG, I'll assume you're a slow reader and help you out here. See P3 for general ideas on where *not* to hide 'em, if you were so unpatriotic as to own any. So! You gonna share your ideas with us anytime soon, or just try & defend poor slow Buford?

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 08:30 | 1756941 centipede
centipede's picture

So, you do not own any but you can't resist the urge to rant endlessly on the topic, how (not) to hide it, right? :-)

And that is your tribute to patriotism, lol.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 08:42 | 1756961 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

 

You might think of making your words a tad sweeter, Sr. Vato, in the event you need to eat them.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:21 | 1757319 vato poco
vato poco's picture

Yeah, I could do that - or I could just write long, rambling entries apropos of nothing, Grandpa-Simpson style, and await the laudatory upticks. As far as security and my lack of PM's goes, "Shineola" over on page 3 (brilliantly) teaches us that "The best policy is to appear to have no money and no guns." Of course, odds are there are other people who think that way, too.

Tue, 10/11/2011 - 10:30 | 1760825 Smithovsky
Smithovsky's picture

Thank you, vato, great stuff.  I don't envy the nurse who had to clean Cooter's diaper after he read all of that.  

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:28 | 1756758 Medea
Medea's picture

You really should quit, Cooter. You're getting destroyed here.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:31 | 1756719 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Put some FRNs where yer mouth iz, and alleviate some suffering:

http://www.worldvision.org

Then ask yerself, "How is it that a 'Libertarian' would even know of such a site, let alone donate thousands per year to the unfortunate around the world??"  Check your premises, yer logic is sending you into the weeds.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:31 | 1756756 clymer
clymer's picture

Please. There are two kinds of people in this world; those who want to be left alone, and those who won't leave you alone. I guess we know which bureacratic, wasteful, control-freak and failed category you fit into, you spiteful little dole-mooching puke

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 08:39 | 1756958 centipede
centipede's picture

Actually, you obviously don't get it. Libertarians are allowed to be concerned with the welfare of others. They are not allowed to force others to be altruistic. But I can see that you are not able to understand the difference.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:25 | 1756342 stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

"GLD and SLV work perfectly fine if I'm looking for some FIAT PAPER CLAIM TO silver and gold exposure."

there, fixed it for ya!

GLD and SLV work fine...until they don't.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 02:39 | 1756619 Libertarians fo...
Libertarians for Prosperity's picture

 

 

GLD and SLV work fine, unless you're a paranoid freak. 

 

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:58 | 1756696 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

until they don't...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:33 | 1756759 clymer
clymer's picture

they work fine if you want to trust people who have a demonstrated history of manipulation schemes, fraud and general theft of the skullduggery category

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:51 | 1757449 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Libertarians fo...

I've always found that GLD and SLV work perfectly fine if I'm looking for some silver and gold exposure.  That being said, I'm a little unfamiliar with the logistics of burying physical metals.  So...a quick question for all the doomer goons: when you bury your super shiny tokens in the backyard, do you find it more effective to use a shovel, or your "hind legs?"

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

 

I often feel for you, and wish you had some real professional counseling available.

No one wants to be THAT despised.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 11:53 | 1757707 tsx500
tsx500's picture

i'm sure that counseling is available , the only problem is that it appears that it's too late for it to do the schmuck any good.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:41 | 1756375 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

@ spiral

Yes, spread that gold around.  That way, in an extreme situation, you can "hand it over" and that's that.

I wrote an article on my blog awhile back about hiding gold.  Interested?  gmail me at my name, and assure me you will behave (my blog is not Fight Club) and I will send you the link.  My latest article is about preparing a simple survey that we could ask our PM dealers every couple of months or so (looking for shortages and/or high physical to spot premiums).

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:55 | 1756403 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Or give it to a nice Ukranian girl to look after?

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 02:08 | 1756601 GoldBricker
GoldBricker's picture

the best place to hide gold is where there's some other metal decoy to avoid detectors. washing machines

Go into the auto junkyard business. Not only do these prosper in hard times, but there's loads of heavy (needing a forklift) metal stuff around, under which you can put any metal object you please without fear of detectors.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 03:01 | 1756630 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

I just had that conversation this past week.  Pretty much the whole thing you said and more.  Weird how things like that happen; like a mini-meme.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 03:40 | 1756648 natty light
natty light's picture

The idea I had was to hide PM's in electronic junk like at one of those electronic recycling facilities. I am sure there a zh'ers who have a stockpile of computer hardware and such in storage.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:00 | 1756698 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

I left mine on the international space station; ain't no one going to nick it up there.

Now if only I could hitch a ride to go and get it...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:25 | 1756712 Matevski
Matevski's picture

Hide your gold and silver in your books. Thieves don't read.

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 16:47 | 1870854 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

I hide mine in dead bodies, well wrapped and hidden. Sadly, those rot after a couple of months and I have to get another. The police are getting pissed...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 09:45 | 1757152 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Saw that, and immediately wanted to ask where he could get  a POUND ofGold cheap enough that for $24k he could fill his pocket.......

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:47 | 1756085 traditionalfunds
traditionalfunds's picture

I used to use faux Spam security cans until the Spam bubble started. Thanks a lot Nouriel. Before then nobody would go near the stuff. 

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:54 | 1756111 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Is there a used cat box bubble?

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:47 | 1756086 LongBallsShortBrains
LongBallsShortBrains's picture

Mine fell out of the boat. I hate it when that happens

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:55 | 1756116 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

I'll bet they did, but we're talking about PMs here.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:48 | 1756092 OrestesPenthilu...
OrestesPenthilusQuintard's picture

What gold?

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:54 | 1756269 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Sadly, I lost all my PMs in a boating accident.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:29 | 1756466 SilverDosed
SilverDosed's picture

Damn, you too? We sure are some horrible boaters around here.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:10 | 1756705 FatFingered
FatFingered's picture

Ha!  Me too.  Go figure.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:17 | 1757254 malikai
malikai's picture

I must be the only one. I lost mine in a freak bit of turbulence flying a little cessna over Lake Ray Roberts. Or was it Lake Lewisville? I can't remember. But I'm offering $750/oz to anyone who can help me recover my gold. Please someone help me!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:41 | 1757399 DosZap
DosZap's picture

malikai

I must be the only one. I lost mine in a freak bit of turbulence flying a little cessna over Lake Ray Roberts. Or was it Lake Lewisville? I can't remember. But I'm offering $750/oz to anyone who can help me recover my gold. Please someone help me!

How are you typing, being dead in the crash n all?

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:48 | 1756096 legal eagle
legal eagle's picture

Inside crown moulding...

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:25 | 1756199 Mr. Mandelbrot
Mr. Mandelbrot's picture

My grandfather had a friend that bought a farm with several bee hives.  The bees were long gone.  When he went to put them in the burn pile, he found $300,000 cash in one (this is circa 1960ish) . . .

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:30 | 1756352 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

There are many, many stories of folks from the depression (who lost everything in bank collapses) who hoarded cash in odd places. So secret the family never knew, so in some cases these were discovered by othres in time instead of by family post-death.

This loss of life experience/knowledge is why we are in this sitatution today. Tis a cycle of nature, a human weakness forgotten. It shall be again in time, but I am doing double time to pass the lesson down to my nephews/niece. I built a game around Mayburry's "Whatever happened to penny candy?" that included envelops with the worlds fiat and simple silver dimes/quarters and a few choice half dollars silver dollars with important family dates on them (birth dates/graduation dates). Each letter had something special on it, a life lesson, words of wisdom about money, power, and wealth. A few letters promised ASE for reading a book and writing a report.

I can assure you it will live on as an experience long after I am dead. And if those coins and paper and letters are held for another generation, then I will be really damn proud. Such things, well they are timeless.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 02:13 | 1756606 vato poco
vato poco's picture

"'Tis"? "'TIS?????"

Whaaaaat, were "ne'er" or "e'er" busy right then? Prithee, good Sir, I beg thee step away from the bottle of pomposity which it is ("'tis") clear you have imbibed deeply from, twixt nips of the intoxicating spirits that pour forth from that most lovely visage found in any mirror. My stomach turneth o'er, Sir, at this most unseemly use of dead and aggrandizing syntax - and thus I have done with thee.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 02:36 | 1756615 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

My grandfather did that, we found cash in almost every photo frame, taped behind paintings, under the firewood box, between the pages of books, under the soundboard of the piano, under a loose floorboard in his shop, and I would bet anything that there were cans of it buried in the yard.  He was the little old man with the rubber squeeze change purse that he would fish out of his pocket in order to find pennies and dimes, I always thought he did it just to annoy people in line at Safeway, but he did it because he had been scarred for life in the depression.  Had been wealthy but they lost it all, everything but the car and a few boxes of stuff they could move away with. 

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:21 | 1756754 Cap Matifou
Cap Matifou's picture

My great-grandfather lost his wealth in an european hyperinflation incident. He has spent an entire night burning his cash, after the paper money he accumulated got declared worthless.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 07:14 | 1756803 Dugald
Dugald's picture

That's a nice yarn, thank you for sharing.....

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 16:30 | 1758959 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Wow, and I thought only postal workers and banksters had today off, what is it about faux federal holidays that gets the trolls juices flowing? 

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:18 | 1756752 darteaus
darteaus's picture

STFU

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:39 | 1756761 clymer
clymer's picture

Man Vato, would you quit playing grab-ass with cooter? You're chasing the poor guy around like the obnoxious girl in grade school who has a crush on the kid that wants nothing to do with you. 

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 06:56 | 1756773 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Vato is like the 110-pound bully who thinks he looks great for picking on the 80-pound kid on crutches.

Keep it up Vato - we're all really, really impressed out here, tis no lie.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 11:58 | 1757730 tsx500
tsx500's picture

you need a hobby.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:07 | 1756298 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Unless you know how to install crown molding it's not easy to store it behind it. There is a gap and could be possible to store it there but anything loose or poorly installed will be obvious

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:33 | 1756357 legal eagle
legal eagle's picture

Yep, you have to be handy. If you have high ceilings makes it all the more difficult and all the more effective.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:09 | 1756428 SGS
SGS's picture

LOL I just pictured the SS showing up at the door, and the owner says, "Hold on, I have to grab a ladder and peel back this crown molding, gimme a sec."

LOL

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 03:45 | 1756652 natty light
natty light's picture

I got it! the mattress!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:01 | 1756536 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

A metal detector will find it in a second. Around, behind or inside something metal will help. A good detector can distinguish gold from steel but the operator needs some skill. At least you'll know your treasure went to a high class thief.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 05:05 | 1756700 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

you mean like the tax man?

Fri, 12/02/2011 - 02:24 | 1937508 Mr. Mandelbrot
Mr. Mandelbrot's picture

Metal detecting is harder than most think (yes, I junked you) . . .

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:49 | 1756097 ricocyb13
ricocyb13's picture

Goldman Sachs Trader at Irish TV.

Start video at 15 min.

http://www.rte.ie/player/#!v=1116081

 

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:49 | 1756100 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

If you bury gold, no one else knows where and you die unexpectedly, well that really doesn't help, does it? 

Love the comment about someone with a gun forcing you to reveal your gold's location.  That is why you should buy a lead injection system before you take delivery of said gold. 

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:46 | 1756244 Roger Knights
Roger Knights's picture

Leave a document with your lawyer, to be opened after your death and delivered to a specified party, revealing the location of your stashes.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:51 | 1756257 seek
seek's picture

Two documents with two lawyers, one is the key to decode the other. Lawyers aren't necessarily trustworthy.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:32 | 1756356 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I like this level of paranoid thinking! Very cost effective measure which solves the problem of lack of trust in the event of death.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:59 | 1756532 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

What use is your gun when the ransom note arrives?

and what do you do when someone holds a machete to your child's throat and asks you where you keep it?

Shoot him? Sure, or maybe you'd just hand it over.

Some things are more important than gold and silver...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:11 | 1756551 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I was going to speak my mind, but I thought better of it on this subject.

Let us just agree that there are many homes one might profit from invading, but mine is not one of them. I would make Tarantino blush if I could not rely on the law to keep you from coming back.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:29 | 1756678 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Maybe I would be interested to hear you speak your mind, old stick...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:14 | 1756439 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

If you're dead, and the gold is still buried somewhere, my guess is you didn't need it in your lifetime. You might not be able to eat it, but you can't take it with you when you die either, so if you can't even trust one person to know where it's located, then it's no big deal.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:07 | 1756545 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

I know people who've spent fair chunks of time with metal detectors searching for abandoned stashes around old mining camps. They've found a lot of iron spikes. buttons and spent bullets.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 03:07 | 1756632 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

People these days can just leave GPS coordinates and a description of the "spot" that is marked X.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 07:57 | 1756869 GoldBricker
GoldBricker's picture

Do you ever wonder why there are so many extant ancient coins in good condition? The answer is not that they were passed from collector to collector for millenia, but that they were buried, whereupon the owners died or forgot where they were.

In those days there was no reliable place to stash your savings, rather like our own times.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:50 | 1756101 no2foreclosures
no2foreclosures's picture

The key is if nobody know you have gold, your gold doesn't exist.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:57 | 1756528 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

If you buy online, the government knows you have it, somewhere. If this system is as evil as some think and things get bad enough, the feds may provide lists of addresses to free agents, offering to split the loot. And a total collapse may mean ruthless local 'authority' which will go door to door.

If guns fail or you're caught by surprise (it happens), you can be sure that if the invaders believe you have gold, they will extract the information from you or kill you trying, human life will be cheap. If the invaders have their act together, they'll know how to determine if something is real gold (child's play), so a stash of fakes is a good idea, but know when to use it. Multiple stash locations are ideal, but they may still find a way to extract it all from you. The grim best outcome may come from making it virtually inaccessible - buried under something very heavy; slant drilling under your foundation is an option, or encased in the brickwork of your chimney. That at least forces them to work to get it, work that may be interrupted, God willing.

Other places, fractional gold is always best for hiding: Inside dooknobs, inside metal table or chair legs, inside electrical outlet boxes, inside the plunger bulb in an unused toilet (works best with a baggie of cash in the tank with it). Key elements are: proximity to other metals, not inside of anything that might be stolen for other reasons, variety, and for long term holdings, inaccessibility.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:03 | 1756538 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

or maybe held in a private vault offshore and away from the banking system, somewhere where you can sell it in small quantities and exchange it for cash, and send it back in whatever small amounts you need, as and when you need it...

You wouldn't even need to buy a shovel.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 16:51 | 1759030 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Buy online using a corp or trust.  That's a good idea for buying your house too.  Busy bodies can't easily find out your address by searching the county records.

Get a self storage unit under a corp name.  They have 24 hour security.  No need to bury anything, or risk losing things in a fire.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:50 | 1756102 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture


Beer is better than Obama because beer won’t take half your paycheck. 

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:53 | 1756110 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

I love beer.  I drink it all the time, mainly to forget my problems or to make other people look better. 

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:06 | 1756152 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

Preaching to the choir my friend.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:36 | 1756221 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

"Alcohol: the cause of, and the solution to, all of the world's problems."

H. Simpson

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:48 | 1756387 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Serial green to above comments!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:41 | 1756575 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

forget alcohol and roll a joint.  no drunk driving.  no nasty hangovers.  and a lot more FUN!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 11:04 | 1757491 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

Why not do both?

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:51 | 1756103 johnnyvelcro
johnnyvelcro's picture

in blythe masters ass.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:26 | 1756200 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Oprah's

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:36 | 1756364 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Is it inappropriate to point out that whores in the historic past would place silver coins in their vagina to protect against pregancy?

Off color, and I certainly don't endorse such things, but this is factually acurate.

If I got this wrong and you are a medical background, please correct or expand.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:12 | 1756432 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

sounds plausible given that IUDs utilise copper, and even small amounts of silver, in their making.

most likely men were as reluctant towards wearing anything that might prevent an unwanted pregancy "then" as many are now. . .

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IUD#Copper_IUDs

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:24 | 1756455 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I was talking 100+ years ago ... so start at 1890 and go backwards.

Regards,

Cooter

ATTACHED: Good old fashioned christain blues soul from down south ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiYjDbVTRv8

... just speakin for the song ... I got my soul attached and I know blues when I feel it!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 00:48 | 1756509 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

aye, realise that, I was talking the "metals" being utilised as "interruptors" -  and prior to "science" at that. . .

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:15 | 1756556 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Hrmm, the IUDs threw me ... then I thought the prophylactics reference was out of scope in terms of technology/timelines ... rough thread for me tonight ... feeling scrappy!

I think I understand what you meant now. My bad.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:39 | 1756572 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

all good C ~ tension is running high now, whether folk want to cop to it or not.

best wishes getting settled in your chosen paradise!

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:06 | 1756666 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I know this sounds nutty, but I like being wrong on ZH.

/HatTip

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:50 | 1756586 Fred C Dobbs
Fred C Dobbs's picture

Thanks for posting Jason Eady song.  

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:25 | 1756675 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I have a few genres of music and I put this one in my "gospel" genre even though its not. I really like this song though, but most of the "gospel" I like is gritty like this. I got a huge pile of this sort of stuff, another big pile of bluegrass, and then an even bigger pile of Texas red dirt.

Music is one of my saving graces. God gave me a peace of mind; its music. I got stuff from the way old school to today (Eady is just the tip of the ice berg as far as what is going on these days - there is so much great passion from artists these days). I tease friends (who know me) that I have as much rhythm as wind chimes in a Texas thunderstorm (true). But I know musical soul regardless of genre. My passion for music spans TX, LA, OK, AR, and the SE/US with great enthusiasm.

I am trying to get NPR up here in AK to let me do a show (2 hours my format) for no pay. Still haggling with them. I am going to roll em if they let me on the air. It ain't even fair. The radio stations here suck really bad and have no soul.

Still need to get the director to sign on, but once that happens, I would be happy to share my music link with the community. If you think my ZH thread are epic, wait til you hear what rocks my soul. Happy to share, just not yet. And I don't think ZH is the forum to promote my flavor of music ... in AK.

Regards,

Cooter

Tue, 10/11/2011 - 13:11 | 1761558 knukles
knukles's picture

Yeah.
I tried that.
Don't know if she had a coin, but my dick rotted off.
I like Jarts.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:31 | 1756681 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Can I quote that to the TSA?      Not smuggling at all sir....   those 20 Krugs are for preventing pregnancy... it should've been silver?  Maybe that explains the last 4 kids.......

On a related note... that have anything to do with the saying 'Born with a silver spoon in yout mouth??'  birth control failed?

Tue, 10/11/2011 - 13:13 | 1761564 knukles
knukles's picture

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 01:12 | 1756554 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Sorry, you want to find a LOW traffic area.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 09:56 | 1757216 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Sorry, you want to find a LOW traffic area.

Will your wife let your store it there?

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:52 | 1756106 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

kotulas.com has both fake books and a pretty nice looking mantle clock with fold down face that will hold a .357 revolver. You can put some serious gold in there I would imagine.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:51 | 1756396 WebWeasel
WebWeasel's picture

You can make your own book safes pretty easily. One link of many: http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2010/10/make-a-secret-hollowed-out-book.html

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:54 | 1756113 donpaulo
donpaulo's picture

under paving stones

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 21:55 | 1756115 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Old hot water heaters....

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 22:43 | 1756234 chistletoe
chistletoe's picture

hey.  great idea, gold does not rust ... put it in functioning hot water heaters.

 

Just remember, once the municiple water system fails,

you will be using all the water in your hot water heater

becvause you forgot to store enough

and the river water all has cholera in it ....

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 23:18 | 1756323 Tedster
Tedster's picture

Hot water doesn't need heating. That would tip me off right away.

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 08:07 | 1756884 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

I met an old man whose dad was a bootlegger and they were once raided by the USG immediately after selling some moonshine.  They never found his stash, which was in the hot water heater.

He told me charcoal layers over a buried stash hides it from metal detectors.

He also told me that the best place to hide things is where it takes a lot of energy to move things (like casks of nails, machinery parts, greasy stuff), because police don't like to get hot or dirty and neither do thieves.  His reasoning was if they were willing to work, they wouldn't be cops or thieves.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!