How Is Jon Corzine Doing? Ask Him Yourself

Tyler Durden's picture

The "Honorable" Jon Corzine may have prudently disappeared form the face of the earth, but that doesn't mean he is not accessible. In fact, in the parlance of our Bloomberg times, he is "Green" and anyone out there with a terminal can have a live Q&A with the former head of MF Global and Goldman Sachs.

h/t fiatcurrency

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Colombian Gringo's picture

Hey John,


when you finally end up in prison, expect a name change. Everyone inside will call you 'bitch'.

malikai's picture

He won't make it to prison. For him, it's either the high life, or it's the angry mob.

eatthebanksters's picture

He'll live the high life in prison...he be smoking cigars every day!  Jailhouse cigars that is....and I think his new name will be 'BOB', for Bend Over Bitch!

emersonreturn's picture

a friend, a lawyer, when i used the word Goof to describe someone, gave me the prison meaning of the label, a word i won't use again...except in this instance.  Jon, you wil be and are a Goof.

eatthebanksters's picture

I watched a trailer for a new hockey show in was hilarious...during the show they talked about something called an "angry dragon" and suggested that anyone who was curious should google the term.  I did and it was nuts...I think Corzine might be the new 'Angry Dragon' once he inhabits general population.

quintago's picture

Enjoy it while you can. That is, being able to hear your own farts.

sdmjake's picture

Dear John,



Skateboarder's picture

"See you at the gallow's end."

LawsofPhysics's picture

If only, "markets" would rally 100 points easy.

EscapeKey's picture

On the contrary, they would drop 99%.

RacerX's picture

Hello Neo.

Knock knock..

Sam Malone's picture

Thought this was gonna link to a Reddit AMA...

govttrader's picture

His user profile is is he using the free account when between jobs?

Aziz's picture

Dear Mr Honorable Jon Corzine,

I am Crown Prince Abdulwaleed Mohammed bin Aziz of Nigeria. I need your assistance in retrieving $16 billion of money that I earned through oil transactions. This money was earned legally and with honor, however, as I am sure you can understand some of the Western authorities are claiming totally erroneously that I stole it. As you are a decent and honorable member of the civilization, I am sure you will be willing to help me complete this transaction, and so help free my people from under the heel of Western oppression.

The way this will work is this. I need to pay a processing fee to release the funds. I need you to send me $5 million by Western Union, upon which funds of $16 billion will be released to you. I would like you to deposit this money into my UBS account. You will be allowed to keep $1 billion for your trouble.

Thank you most sincerely,

Crown Prince Abdulwaleed Mohammed bin Aziz

Rahm's picture


monkeyboy's picture

Straight up I was just going to ask Jon for some monies, but I like your approach way better Prince. So fresh.

FreudianSlip's picture

Excellent, except you gotta pay 20% for the wash, try $3.2B for his trouble (and maybe a % of the biz or at least sit on their board).

Freddie's picture

Thank you most sincerely,

Crown Prince Abdulwaleed Mohammed bin Aziz

Jamie Dimon's alias.


Meesohaawnee's picture

Dear Jon. Can i write you a check care of the obama campaign fund? I heard a rumor there are get out of jail free cards there.

eatthebanksters's picture

Anyone want to make a bet that if Obama loses he pardons Rezko?

the not so mighty maximiza's picture

It should say HoBroken

Yellowhoard's picture

Dear Jon,

I know this may seem corny, and perhaps a bit old fashioned, but could you do me and America a big solid and stick a gun in your mouth and squeeze the trigger?

insanelysane's picture

Gambling Jon, why go to Vegas when you can gamble from your mansion daily.

LongSoupLine's picture



Dear Mr. Corzine,

I have a diesel powered wood chipper with dull blades not working properly.  Could you stop and try to fix it for me?  Just a brief climb into it (feet first of course) is all that's required.  Heck, I'll even give you a beer first.  Stop by anytime soon.

firstdivision's picture

Corzine has a terminal under the Oval Office desk?


Jon, do you cup the balls while blowing BHO?

FreudianSlip's picture

You got it backwards.  Knowing where the offshore BHO accounts are makes Jon the man to please.  There's billions of reasons why nobody bothers Jon.

Problem Is's picture

The Corz:

Bennie Bernanke's bald, bearded brother...

forexskin's picture

preferably alone in a field somewhere with a few hours public notice.

Lost Wages's picture

Alternate headline: Zerohedge Goes Anonymous and Doxxes Douchebag.

ouchtouch's picture

Jon, I can't believe you're still in the U.S.  Don't you know that YOU'RE THE OCTOBER SURPRISE?!  (Maybe the September Surprise if things get too hot for the president.)

toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

You must be referring to the looming MASS ARRESTS, the dissolution of the FED, and the swift justice that awaits the traitors and thei henchmen...

Big Corked Boots's picture

(in the voice of the Chef, yelling "never get out of the boat")

Never click twice. NEVER click twice! 

Dr. Engali's picture

Dear Jon

I have a sizable donation for the Obama campaign that I would like to give to you personally. Please let me know a time that is good for you and I will secure a quiet and discrete meeting place.

I look forward to your response

azzhatter's picture

Dear Jon,

Have you considered suicide? While it seems a bit harsh, it's nothing compared to what the angry mob has in store for you. I'm just trying to help.

Sincerely, Vito

toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

How about a speedy public trial with judges and juries comprised of out-of-work WalMart greeters?

Yen Cross's picture

 Hey John,

  When are going to add "Escape-Artist" to your "Linked in" profile?

dwdollar's picture

He's probably blown through his loot already. Sorry, but he's just too busy setting up a new con job to talk to anyone.

stock trout's picture


I have a loft in which you can escape from the world and enjoy the beach nearby and a Starbucks is just down the road. You will have cable tv, wifi, and all the potato chips you can eat. You can use my bicycle too.

Rent is $100,000 per month.

As a side benefit, I will write comments on ZH in support of you. I will pretend to be your BFF.


stock trout's picture

Never mind. You failed a criminal background and credit check.

insanelysane's picture

So now we know who has been buy Spanish and Italian notes.

Satan's picture

Can you tell Lloyd Friday's no good for me.