How US Banks Are Lying About Their European Exposure; Or How Bilateral Netting Ends With A Bang, Not A Whimper

Tyler Durden's picture

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Smithovsky's picture

what did the unedited version say?

knukles's picture

Don't ask me, I wasn't listening.

NoClueSneaker's picture

... I red Mae's Storm ... and wonderd why would she pull everything down. Mrs. West used to make everything growing, for at least 40 yrs.

 " Jack, is there a pistol in your pocket, or you're just happy to see me ... ? "



Oh regional Indian's picture

It said, I think, that curiousity killed the Cat.


ljag's picture

To = go to hell


Too = too much beer


Two = 1&1=2 (two)


write that shit down.....ok?

Popo's picture

OMFG. The idiots are out in force today.  You sir, are also an uneducated idiot.   (Seriously, it's time for you to go back to work.  Those french fries don't cook themselves, you know.)






in addition; also; furthermore; moreover:  e.g.:  "young, clever, and rich too."

Maybe *you* should write that shit down..  Ok? 


Any more idiots want to step up to the plate?


Silver Dreamer's picture

Popo, his post wasn't directed towards you.

"I don't mind being corrected. but you go to far to assume i'm an idiot and by assuming you show yourself up."

Popo's picture

Ah.  Thanks for clarifying that SD.  


My sincere and humble apologies to Ijag.   Indentations aren't so good on smartphones.   The fault is mine.   I thought it was a reply to my post.



rosiescenario's picture

"but you go to fa"....that would be 'too' far

Grinder74's picture

Typo[,] dickhead.

I don't mind being corrected[,] but you go to[o] far to assume [I]'m an idiot[. A]nd by assuming[,] you show yourself up.


Seven more typos aren't winning your argument too well.

matrix2012's picture

Overall this 'language correctness' section is the most entertaining part of this post... LOL
it's much more amusing to read than all the sinful stories of the banksters  :-)>....

El Viejo's picture

Must be a Dell Keyboard. I consistently make the same typo. It's maddening.

 There is a slight delay in the key type and Dell misses it consistently.

gojam's picture

Unfortunately, El Viejo I can't blame Dell.

Just tired.

trav7777's picture

When willl be a lot further into the future than you expect.

Last time they were imperiled, the government rushed to their rescue with trillions.

Calmyourself's picture

Much further, no law, no insurance contract, no firm will pull this scam down.  Hunger only hunger and if they can contain that, welcome to 1984 winston..

stocktivity's picture

Why do you think Benny and Obama (never mind Obama...he doesn't have a clue about this kind of shit) sent Timmy to Europe every other week to tell them to do something. Benny is scared shitless.

OpenEyes's picture

Banks are misrepresenting themselves to a gullible public?  By a factor of 10?  C'mon, really?  Banks wouldn't misrepresent the facts.  How could that possibly happen?  

junkyardjack's picture

Good thing they price all the illiquid securities that they hold themselves.  "Nope still looks good to me"

silverserfer's picture

"I hate numbers... there like to many of them.... UUUHHHHHHuhh

Uhhhuhhhhh Huhhhh huhhh" - Butthead

Mike Judge said it best.

DutchZeroPrinter's picture

As long as the printers are online, no probs for super Mario and Osama Ben Bernanke!

UP Forester's picture

Until they piss off enough people, devaluing monetary units and unilaterally dictating government actions.

Merry Christmas, ala Targoviste in 1989....

kung fu's picture

The PONZI scheme of FIAT REALITY begins and ends with the "ego", a false belief in separation from Source. The terror-filled shrieks of the guilty match step by step to the justl, angry, and innocent victims, whose raise up their pitchforks of retribution, seeking punishment of others. It's a childish game of personas, seeking and finding whatever "reality" their unexamined thoughts produce.

The ego is CLEVER, ie shell-game financial instruments are no diffent in essence than shell-game personas. Both conceal the LIE. Both are PIGS with lipstick.

The ego is a product of a world of conditioning, an ingrained bodily identification, a state of mind taught by those of the world, with all it's societal trappings: gifts (position, status, possessions) and anit-gifts (poverty, lonliness, isolation). Changing conditions, rich today---poor tomorrow, are NOT a true awareness of Self or Realilty.

The "self-concept", whose fabrication the world promotes, is the front man, caught in a dualistic reality; DECEIVER-VICTIM, US-THEM, RICH-POOR, etc. It simply shields the fantasy; we created all this, we are responsible. Defenses of the Ego, the false knowledge of the Tree of GOOD and EVIL, shield the mind from the Truth, and catches it in the web of duality.



donsluck's picture

Very good! Successful investers surf the waves of illusion, where remaining un-attached to the illusion is the key to it's mastery. In other words, pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered.

luna_man's picture

Oh Boy...And doe's this mean we get to hunt them down, the way they did Saddam and Quaddfi?

luna_man's picture

Oh Boy...And doe's this mean we get to hunt them down, the way they did Saddam and Quaddfi?

crazyjsmith's picture

As the song goes...

Lie to me, I promise, I'll believe.

Lie to me, just don't leave. 


covert's picture

bend over grab the vaseline and gold, here it comes:


rufusbird's picture

No! No! Don't worry! It's all gonna work out! You'll see. They gonna let Jon Corzine do the math!

Note to self's picture

Greetings, this is margin calling.  Give me all your dough.

ReallySparky's picture

Tyler,  Clearly you are starting to change the world.  I for one will be donating today, knowing that very soon your servers will be blowing up when this sh*t hits the fan and the market liquidates.  Thank you for showing up everyday!

topcallingtroll's picture

Everyone please donate. Even ten or twenty bucks a year would be apprwciateds. Internet ads and click throughs are peanuts, and ZH doesnt suck the public tit like NPR and PBS.

nope-1004's picture

Tylers' servers won't crash, they'll probably be told to be "shut down" from the Federal Reserve Public Comment Advisory Board, headed by John Corzine, IMO.

LOL.  This freakin' gov't is such a joke.

Y'all gotta read this email I got today. 

VERY QUIETLY OBAMA'S CITIZENSHIP CASE REACHES THE SUPREME COURT AP - WASHINGTON D.C. - In a move certain to fuel the debate over Obama's qualifications for the presidency, the group "Americans for Freedom of Information" has Released copies of President Obama's college transcripts from Occidental College . Released today, the transcript school indicates that Obama, under the name Barry Soetoro, received financial aid as a foreign student from Indonesia as an undergraduate. The transcript was released by Occidental College in compliance with a court order in a suit brought by the group in the Superior Court of California. The transcript shows that Obama (Soetoro) applied for financial aid and was awarded a fellowship for foreign students from the Fulbright Foundation Scholarship program. To qualify, for the scholarship, a student must claim foreign citizenship. This document would seem to provide the smoking gun that many of Obama's detractors have been seeking. Along with the evidence that he was first born in Kenya and there is no record of him ever applying for US citizenship, this is looking pretty grim. The news has created a firestorm at the White House as the release casts increasing doubt about Obama's legitimacy and qualification to serve as President article titled, "Obama Eligibility Questioned," leading some to speculate that the story may overshadow economic issues on Obama's first official visit to the U.K. In a related matter, under growing pressure from several groups, Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama's legal eligibility to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey . This lawsuit claims Obama's dual citizenship disqualified him from serving as president. Donofrio's case is just one of 18 suits brought by citizens demanding proof of Obama's citizenship or qualification to serve as president. Gary Kreep of the United States Justice Foundation has released the results of their investigation of Obama's campaign spending. This study estimates that Obama has spent upwards of $950,000 in campaign funds in the past year with eleven law firms in 12 states for legal resources to block disclosure of any of his personal records. Mr. Kreep indicated that the investigation is still ongoing but that the final report will be provided to the U.S. Attorney general, Eric Holder. Mr. Holder has refused to comment on the matter... LET OTHER FOLKS KNOW THIS NEWS, THE MEDIA WON'T !

Subject: RE: Issue of Passport? While I've little interest in getting in the middle of the Obama birth issue, Paul Hollrah over at FSM did so yesterday and believes the issue can be resolved by Obama answering one simple question: What passport did he use when he was shuttling between New York , Jakarta , and Karachi ? So how did a young man who arrived in New York in early June 1981, without the price of a hotel room in his pocket, suddenly come up with the price of a round-the-world trip just a month later? And once he was on a plane, shuttling between New York , Jakarta , and Karachi , what passport was he offering when he passed through Customs and Immigration? The American people not only deserve to have answers to these questions, they must have answers. It makes the debate over Obama's citizenship a rather short and simple one. Q: Did he travel to Pakistan in 1981, at age 20? A : Yes, by his own admission. Q: What passport did he travel under? A: There are only three possibilities. 1) He traveled with a U.S. .. Passport, 2) He traveled with a British passport, or 3) He traveled with an Indonesia passport. Q: Is it possible that Obama traveled with a U.S. Passport in 1981? A: No. It is not possible. Pakistan was on the U.S. State Department's "no travel" list in 1981. Conclusion: When Obama went to Pakistan in 1981 he was traveling either with a British passport or an Indonesian passport. If he were traveling with a British passport that would provide proof that he was born in Kenya on August 4, 1961, not in Hawaii as he claims. And if he were traveling with an Indonesian passport that would tend to prove that he relinquished whatever previous citizenship he held, British or American, prior to being adopted by his Indonesian step-father in 1967. Whatever the truth of the matter, the American people need to know how he managed to become a "natural born" American citizen between 1981 and 2008.. Given the destructive nature of his plans for America, as illustrated by his speech before Congress and the disastrous spending plan he has presented to Congress, the sooner we learn the truth of all this, the better.

craigh01's picture

The whole Occidental college thing is a hoax, you know that right?

knukles's picture

WTF,, everything else is make believe.

Withdrawn Sanction's picture

Which "whole Occidental college thing" is a hoax? That he went there? That they had to answer a subpoena? Citations, please?

GeezerGeek's picture

A little truth mixed with a little falsity makes for a great conspiracy tale. On the other hand, if the USA had a Constitution that anyone paid attention to, and if said Constitution required that presidents be 'natural born citizens', then Obama would not be president. Chester Arthur was the first illegitimate president on these grounds. Marco Rubio, the darling of the Republican party, does not qualify either. Nor Bobby Jindal, governor of Louisiana. For better or worse, only perhaps 1% (no, not the rich 1%) care what the Constitution says. Give it a rest. Obama will never be tossed out except by voters or term limits.

ToddGak's picture

Still, with this nonsense?  Really, we have much bigger problems to deal with.

JohnG's picture

Ten minutes in the shower, market up 120 pts.  W T F ?

Now, to read the article.

Dave Thomas's picture

Apparently Adam Smith's "Magic Hand" was at work, get back into the shower CNBC needs their floozies to get all crotch happy.

Piranhanoia's picture

They will sell more and more varied financial and sexual products before they are shut down. Just think how many smarter investors they would get if they hired nude anchor bimbos?   "Now someone is going to talk about creedit... what's that?"  Anyway, here's Poopi cuz I'm stuck to the leather seat,  Hi Poopi, nice thong!  .........

donsluck's picture

It's been done!

Maybe you could buy stock?

jcaz's picture

Good article-  yep, pretty tough to hedge yourself when the people your hedge is with are underwater themselves.....

americanspirit's picture

Absolutely nobody.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Simply put, insurance against bets on bets on bets on bets...


Now wonder paper is going to zero.  Got physical?

espirit's picture

Which of course has the ability to purchase whatever viable fiat will survive... if needed for trading.

Gene Parmesan's picture

The definition of fraud.