HSBC Customers Impacted By "Worldwide Meltdown" Of All Retail Services

Tyler Durden's picture

Your rating: None

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:13 | 1845446 CPL
CPL's picture

Operation Scarlett Letter.


Ta Da!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:26 | 1845505 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

All together now...

Drop Trow

Bend over

...And let the run begun....

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:35 | 1845544 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Graduate from school, have debts.

Buy a car, submit to payments.

Buy a house, concede to serfdom.

Work your ass off, put money away.

Rates rise, payments onerous, wages flat.

OOPS.  Can't get money from bank.  Banks or state govenor STOLE it.

Ain't life grand?  Gotta love capitalism.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:40 | 1845575 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture


fixed it for you.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:41 | 1845578 forexskin
forexskin's picture

Rates rise, payments onerous, wages flat.

OOPS.  Can't get money from bank.  Banks or state govenor STOLE it.

Ain't life grand?  Gotta love capitalism.

UMMMM, I think we've agreed to call it something else, like kleptocracy, cause capitalism it ain't.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:50 | 1845617 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Prolly caused by the rumor that MFCEO J. Corzine was being interviewed by HSBC.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:03 | 1845690 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

As with all good sheeple my family has asked that I stop sending gloom and doom...but does this event merit breaking the silence?  I have the email written telling them to withdraw cash before the weekend but I would hate to over-react and waste the one shot I have at them listening...


BTW... dont forget this chart from earlier this week.

<img src="">

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:49 | 1845940 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

JPM Hater, most people are just not ready for the truth. Be light on them.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:29 | 1846134 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

alot of us have that problem with sheeple. i'm at the point where, if they don't want suggestions, fuk 'em, they'll learn the hard way. they get what they deserve.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:06 | 1846258 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

HSBC is the opium bank. The bankers bank. The Bank of banks.

Of course the test would be on it. Even customer reaction, like they had sought when a major bank in Oz had trouble last year.

As Hephasteus said, something just does not smell right.




The HSBC Story

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:43 | 1846356 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Oh wow. I forgot all about that.

Looks like the cleaner crew might be getting a scope dial in.

It's just not a good day to be a bad guy.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:07 | 1846262 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

From the fact that you are here, and from your question, you are obviously not like other people.  Therefore, you will not always be appreciated, especially on that topic, and sometimes even resented.

After saying they don't care, stop.  If you persuade them to go to cash, they will blame you for every point the market makes REGARDLESS OF THE RISK.  They recognize gambling when someone puts all their savings on a roulette table, but they ignore all risk when Uncle Albert makes 10% in October in SPY.  If they miss out where Uncle Albert (by complete luck) made money, they will blame you, and only you.

Better to send them an "I told you so" later, and then completely humuliate them when they inevitably ask you for money after the collapse. 

All those grumpy old penny pinching stereotypes in the black and white movies were, in real life, based on guys like you and me.  During the 1920s, they were young men and women, and they saw the crash coming and didn't join the roulette table.  For this, they were humiliated by all the "smart" people who were, in reality, just lucky gamblers.  Society hated them because they were right, and their spendthrift coworkers and family resented them for it rather than blame themselves for their own folly.

Be patient and make them all crawl.  Better yet, make them dance like puppets on a string and then leave all your money to your cat.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:37 | 1845844 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

"Kleptoism" pretty well describes the process.  "Theft" is too crude.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:42 | 1845585 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:15 | 1846281 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Yes, did we see anything like the following last year?

  • MF loses $650 million in client accounts, then JPM finds it, then it's lost again
  • JEFF in trouble, JEFF not in trouble, oops JEFF in trouble again
  • BAC shuts down its web site and everybody runs for the door
  • HSBC bank run
  • Markets driven by EU rumors of rumors
  • Banksters and Finance Ministers leaving office to spend more time with their families

The only thing I can think of in 2010 that was as crazy as all this is the DSK scandal.  They are running out of room to manuever and the hijinks and volatility smell of desperation.  This is accelerating towards the crash point.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:52 | 1845625 trav7777
trav7777's picture

specious conclusion.  You didn't describe capitalism

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:47 | 1845923 theMAXILOPEZpsycho
theMAXILOPEZpsycho's picture

"Don't try"

Charles Bukowski

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:24 | 1845775 quintago
quintago's picture

remember, remember, the fifth of november

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:36 | 1845551 redpill
redpill's picture

TBTF bank managers hate it when you go in and order large cashiers checks to yourself because they know they'll never see it again.  It's so much fun.

The run is on, bitches.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:47 | 1845600 fyrebird
fyrebird's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:59 | 1845663 lairdwd
lairdwd's picture

Sounds like a possible hacker security breach. Next time, they should just pay them the $$$ and fix the problem

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:02 | 1846013 Gadfly
Gadfly's picture

The run on the big banks has begun.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:13 | 1845450 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Got physical?  Oh you don't?  NO SOUP FOR YOU!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:48 | 1845606 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Gainesville Coins is down too for "maintenance"

Coincidence ?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:55 | 1845640 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

hsbc + gainseville = two sites down. so yes, twice is coincidence. three times is enemy action.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 21:22 | 1847263 Mr. Mandelbrot
Mr. Mandelbrot's picture

My brother in law recently bought 7 gold buffalo ounces from Gainesville Coins at a spot price of $1610 and just received them yesterday (November 3rd).  Do the math.  Even the largest and best dealers are running two weeks plus behind . . .

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:14 | 1845455 qussl3
qussl3's picture

Skynet is online.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:18 | 1845466 CPL
CPL's picture

Yes it is.


Testing the new toys is working nicely.  Whoever is in the market overseas right now better understand the order they placed in margin is now locked tighter than a virgins puss until the system comes back up.


I think a month should suffice.


Anycase, dumb government shits shouldn't have asked for a spec on the internet kill switch and HSBC shouldn't have moved to IPv6 is all I'm going to say on that subject.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:34 | 1845540 Colonel
Colonel's picture

Nationwide conditioning er, um... "Emergency" Alert System Test - November 9th brought to you by FEMA.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:54 | 1845970 CPL
CPL's picture

That because of the massive Meteorite the tinhats are screaming about destroying a continent.


It might miss us by a couple of hundred or thousands of miles.  I've heard about fifty different projections on the NASA boards. 

Meh, if it hits, not like it would have mattered anyways.  Pretty sure somehow it would be considered Bullish.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:19 | 1846290 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Had to end somehow...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:35 | 1845548 unununium
unununium's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:54 | 1845630 knukles
knukles's picture

Spock?  Spock?  Spock, answer me!  Spock!




(sizzling sound, puff of smoke, ashes)

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:09 | 1845714 James T. Kirk
James T. Kirk's picture

I'm sorry, all circuts are busy right now.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:30 | 1845805 knukles
knukles's picture

Goddamnit Spock!  Beam Me Up with the Teleprompter. Now! 

But Captian, We Cannesnot Got Enuf Pouuuer! 

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:00 | 1846003 Use of Weapons
Use of Weapons's picture



Safe sailing.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:08 | 1845709 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"Skynet is online."


NO, it has been online for quite a while, NOW it is becoming self aware.  It won't take long to recognize all human activity as a threat.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:15 | 1845457 prains
prains's picture

Somebody phone RIM for the passsword to the fix

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:16 | 1845459 bill1102inf
bill1102inf's picture

If you can't see the dominos beginning to fall.......  OPEN YOUR EYES!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:19 | 1845471 mfoste1
mfoste1's picture

but obama just said the recovery is continuing? =(

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 21:28 | 1847287 Mr. Mandelbrot
Mr. Mandelbrot's picture

Our home was destroyed by the 4/27 Alabama tornado outbreak.  We have around $200K sitting in a savings account becuase we've been fighting the evil insurance comapany (State Farm) and are yet to reach a settlement where we can begin rebuilding.  Nevertheless, my wife and I had a talk tonight and we're withdrawing the settlement money we've received so far in cash tomorrow (if we can find enough Regions branches with cash on hand).  I love the idea of reducing banks' loan capacity on "move your money Saturday" . . . 

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:17 | 1845461 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

Is HSBC pulling a BOA?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:22 | 1845487 CPL
CPL's picture

No they followed government regulations on IPv6 guidelines.


So it's really all about the LuLz.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:23 | 1845493 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

IP6. It's going to planet of the apes buttfuck linux which all their servers work on.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:24 | 1845498 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Not sure the problem is with ipv6 per se.  Maybe 6to4 tunnels or their routing?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:36 | 1845556 CPL
CPL's picture

IPv6 is leass about routing than it is about control.  The internet kill switch requires it.  only assholes that jumped on board are the banks and the piss poor excuses they have for CIO's (over-rated position for the most part).


It offers the same strengths as IPv4 with SNMPv2 with more addresses obviously, but it also comes with the huge holes forced by lawyers into a technical specification.


So fuck them, fuck them right in the ear.


Wanna kick over a bank?  Don't kick over their routers, kick over the load balancers and appliances managing the caching and transactions.


If they reboot, the entire system loses billions, longer they wait, the more is lost into the HSBC black hole.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:32 | 1845812 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

This is right up there with the airforce forcing ROHS compliance on all the satelite and plane electronics and then having everything fuck up with tin whiskers growing out of every goddamn thing.

And I was just dicking with one of my linux installs and messing with IPV6 and i finally get the damn process to unload and it shows it's not there and I go to wireshark and everything on the damn route is advertising ipv6 crap like a whore.

And then a few days ago stupid governments and banks down a bunch of networks and I get this really creepy feeling like someone is about to get pedobeared.

Frank Fazilli just fucked linux up like a BOSS. So glad Credit Suisse isn't just confined to fucking up france.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 13:48 | 1845927 CPL
CPL's picture

V&ed and C&ed.


I know, I've given up on all debian and RetHat builds now.  The amount of noise generated by all the "awesome" cloud services is just shameful.


Only one distro platform left that hasn't got the "taint" is puppy linux and the variants from it.


Not even going to go into the Windows universe.  XP you can still cripple enough to run silent, Windows 7.  Forget it.

By far though, Apple users have been friendly adopters of giving up their...well...everything for twelve years.  Only platform that the EULA notes taht if you made it on an Apple product that it's owned by Apple by proxy.  You can always tell who the Apple pirates are.  Any time they rip a movie there is always 400 megs more overhead from a DVD rip. 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!