This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

I Want To Work At The Goldman Sachs

Tyler Durden's picture


Three years of anti-Goldman bashing and exposing the company's legal and illegal dirty laundry have clearly had an impact on society:


The Borg zombification shall continue until everyone wants to work solely at "The Goldman Sachs"

And a gentle reminder (aside from the need to 'take crack cocaine to get through the day' why maybe, just maybe - all these wannabe masters of the universe, should take pause)...


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:25 | 2479952 Aziz
Aziz's picture

Want to work at Goldman Sachs?

Bend over. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:27 | 2479968 Bazinga
Bazinga's picture

Or find as many clients as you can that are willing to bend over, and rape them. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:34 | 2479997 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture


well of course it was, everyone else is unemployed...

The only people making any money in this environment are bankers, and you can imagine just how much good that's going to be to a society that needs to eat...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:58 | 2480157 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Hidden in plain sight.

It's not Goldman Sachs

It's Gold Man Sacks.

Changes everything eh?

Golden Balls for one and Alls.



Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:09 | 2480216 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Last in at the end of a bubble!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 09:57 | 2483792 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

There are only two jobs in demand in this country. One is banking and the other is printing...

Neither of which have any long term prospects...


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:18 | 2480271 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

ori.  not in this incarnation.  this time around gold man sucks.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:26 | 2480312 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

just read...


Thanks, Ori

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:19 | 2480613 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



I applied at Goldman Sachs & they told me to come back after I've done time for embezzlement, fraud, and tax evasion.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 23:05 | 2482377 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Crazy stuff eh? You're welcome Gooch.


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:19 | 2480274 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

It's the old "if you can't beat them, join them" !

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:35 | 2480362 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Relatively few people work AT Goldman Sachs, but all of us work FOR Goldman Sachs.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 09:34 | 2483639 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Not me dude.

I banged out of this one a long time ago, sold my house, cleared my debts and bought gold. I owe nobody nothing (apart from an the totally unpayable bill due to my nationality, thanks govt for that one) but for now I can honestly say, I work for myself...

Fuck 'em...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:36 | 2480011 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

They don't rinse.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:31 | 2479975 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"The Devil will find work for "Idol" hands to do"

 "APPLICATION POOL WAS BIGGEST EVER"...maybe they've solved their shrinking client pool problem...What if they're all asked to make some "test trades"?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:29 | 2480329 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture



No Doubt divinity school grads trying to trade the student loan debt for work.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479981 Rahm
Rahm's picture

"I want to work at the Goldman Sachs"

Eventually you will be lynched.

"I dont care"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:23 | 2480297 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture



We already work FOR Goldman, we might well work AT Goldman.  

Agree. at least we might get a nice lunch.  Oh, sorry I thought you wrote lunch not lynched.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479982 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Applications are up because unemployment is up.  That's not surprising.

Of course, it's not surprising is if you don't believe BLSBS.


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:35 | 2480007 arvesia
arvesia's picture

think twice. summer application is for summer internsgip. I am not so sure students are unemployed already..

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479983 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I want to give unsuccessful trade recommendations to my clients to make them lose all of their money all of the time.  


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:33 | 2480001 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

you, sir, have no morals...

You're hired!!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:22 | 2480628 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

And make my bonus going skyhigh

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:36 | 2480016 Rich Bagg
Rich Bagg's picture

Not surprising.  Most people would rather fleece a muppet than be one.



Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:50 | 2480104 CPL
CPL's picture

What isn't dicussed is the same applicants also put in their resumes at McDonalds, Burger King, Rona, Sears, Concer stores...along with the other 40 million unemployed youth in the USA.


When someone states the largest pool of applicants ever.  It's a sure sign the economy is running like shit when the news is about applications recieve and not about jobs created.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:32 | 2480351 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

GS Employment Application Index is at a new high!
I wonder if the new applicants can spell "bubble".

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:34 | 2480360 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

No harm if you intentionally get yourself trained by the enemy.

If I were young again, I would do so again.

Bending over is for those who get the fun out of underlings
life.Most conscripts and most voters agree, so why argue ?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:27 | 2479961 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I do not want to work at Goldman Sachs.  But then, I do not want to work either.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:34 | 2480004 fuu
fuu's picture

Hey, if you don't want to work, are you hiring?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:46 | 2480712 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Hiring in the USA???  I am NOT suicidal!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:50 | 2480722 fuu
fuu's picture

Will travel!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 15:59 | 2480974 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Habla espanol?  If you can sell bearings in Peru for us "You're hired!"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:59 | 2481644 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

send us both

we'll work out the lingo when we get there

just tell us what currency you want to get paid in and give us pin money for a month, ok?

see what happens


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:43 | 2481743 fuu
fuu's picture

Done and done!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:27 | 2479965 Squishi
Squishi's picture

Do you like pain?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:28 | 2479972 fuzed
fuzed's picture

Bubble 3.0?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479974 ITrustMyGut
ITrustMyGut's picture

everyoine hates corruption etc.. until they have a chance to participate.. and get their piece of the pie....even if it means using some salts to finally enjoy a lil meat  =^.^=

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:29 | 2480327 Boiling Frogs
Boiling Frogs's picture

You mean like...bath salts?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479978 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

i think i hurt myself laughing

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:30 | 2479984 Martin Silenus
Martin Silenus's picture


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:11 | 2480228 gckings19
gckings19's picture

yes....splunge for me as well.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:30 | 2479985 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

I want to carpet bomb Goldman Sachs.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:30 | 2479987 Triple A
Triple A's picture

I just heard Tom Keene at Bloomberg give a shout out to zero hedge. I didn't know the hedge was so mainstream.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:32 | 2479999 Squishi
Squishi's picture

I heard him do it ONE YEAR AGO!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:52 | 2480114 BLACK_DOG
BLACK_DOG's picture

I heard the same thing! ZH

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:31 | 2479992 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

This is awesome. Ironically if Blankfein saw this he'd be brimming with pride, the dickwad.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:32 | 2479996 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

This video made me spurt more coffee out of my nose than a Banzai triptych.  

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:32 | 2479998 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

I wish I could send them real fucking starving bears.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:37 | 2480023 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

With the way they have artificially propped up this economy, there should be lots of them roaming wallstreet...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:36 | 2480013 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You just might drown, careful little bears...

You might want a spider man towel if you swim go swimming in that pool. I heard Ben is going to let loose with lots of liquidity this summer. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:37 | 2480021 CommunityStandard
CommunityStandard's picture

Yay!  Zhedge account approved!  Excited to say Bitchezz a lot, comment on Snorgtee girls, and get junked.  Also, I would like to work at the Goldman Sachs.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:38 | 2480031 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Let me be the first to junk you, bitch. Everyone has to fight, their first night at fight club...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:53 | 2481628 Iconoclast
Iconoclast's picture

Hahahaha,. Nice one ;-)

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:58 | 2480156 pods
pods's picture

You will do fine if you avoid telling us all about how your sister/momma/grandma makes a gagillion bucks on the internet.  

Or how you can dig silver out of the ground for $5 bucks an ounce.

Welcome aboard!


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:07 | 2480207 Midas
Midas's picture

But don't get caught eating any precious metals...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 23:12 | 2482396 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Can't comment, eating iPads...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 09:55 | 2483773 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Don't worry, you'll soon be able to gorge yourself on lots of lovely green paper...

I hear it has added vitamins...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:21 | 2480291 fuu
fuu's picture

" Also, I would like to work at the Goldman Sachs."

I bet you already do.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:18 | 2481212 CommunityStandard
CommunityStandard's picture

It's true.  I created a ZH account to sow seeds of dissent leading to the site's eventual destruction.  Curse you for foiling my nefarious plan!  Hmmm... maybe I should try for a job at Goldman to destroy it from the inside.  That could work, right?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:56 | 2481635 CPL
CPL's picture

Only if you put a sharpie in your pooper on webcam.  Timestamp as well.  Tits or GTFO.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:37 | 2480022 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture


Q: I did already summer programs with Madoff and Stanford.  Would this program make sense for me too?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:38 | 2480027 RoadKill
RoadKill's picture

Yes because unlike the OWS hippies and anti-bankster conspiratorialists that have taken over ZH, most people would rather join the 1% then rip on them and most people realize GS is the best of the best of the Ibanks. If you arr smart and a hard worker, 10 years at a place like GS will put a couple million in your bank. 20 years will put $10mm plus.

Pretty good if you arent smart enough to get hired by a leading PE VC or hedge fund.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:01 | 2480175 pods
pods's picture

Of course some of us like to be able to get to sleep at night.

And by "smart" I think you mean sociopathic.


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:16 | 2480259 GFKjunior
GFKjunior's picture

I like how you say people have taken over ZH when you have only been a "Member for 37 weeks".

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:38 | 2480686 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

Newsflash sport, they ceased to be an “Ibank” and are now a bank. As a matter of fact, remember when all the big Wall Street “Ibanks” either converted to fulltime bank status, went bankrupt, or were absorbed into another TBTF over a few months? It must be just too long ago to remember. Anyway, remember when they went from insolvent to not insolvent after converting to bank status in one week (record time for a non-bank entity of that size) and receiving a backdoor bailout through the AIG bailout fiasco (via virtually worthless CDSs becoming money good)? Anyways, the Goldman Sachs is just another quasi-government slush fund bank that socializes their losses and privatizes their gains with a nominal kickback to Barry Soetoro and company. I guess recent history is lost on the young and senile alike.


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 15:03 | 2480776 fuu
fuu's picture

"anti-bankster conspiratorialists that have taken over ZH"

Because in the beginning ZH was a pro-bankster site...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:55 | 2481633 Iconoclast
Iconoclast's picture

What a fooktarded ramble.. Wtf, you are the little bear who wants to work at "The Goldman Sachs"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:38 | 2480029 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Until the sheeple are in the streets eating pebbles, they pay little attention to what's going on around them

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:41 | 2480039 oldgasII
oldgasII's picture

OK, I don't know shit....can I get a job at USB?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:40 | 2480392 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

OK, I don't know shit....can I get a job at USB?

Sure you can. Just stick your wet finger in the little rectangular socket on your comp....


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:45 | 2480069 thebigmozey
thebigmozey's picture

Just shows how few morals, if any, that this younger generation has.


Lousy bastards within Goldman Sachs ought to be tarred and featherd, dragged through every main street in the USA.

A parade that I would surely attend!


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:48 | 2480085 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

This little fellow must have had a bad childhood experience involving Sesame Street or the Muppetts, now he's desperate to drown them all.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:52 | 2480092 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

Some of those applicants may want to become regulators and SEC investigators but realize they need a stint at GS first to have any hope.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:57 | 2480144 BLACK_DOG
BLACK_DOG's picture

They returned my application, I didn’t have a Felony on my record.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:50 | 2480102 theTribster
theTribster's picture

My son goes to MIT (Junior), he said most of his friends took internships at GS and MS. He's a compsci major but a lot of his buddies are engineering, math and physics majors - of course. He also said GS and other financial firms spend a lot of time and money recruiting during the year sponsoring job fairs and other events.

Most people want to get rich, especially this generation because that's what society says, measure success by the size of someone's wallet. It's unfortunate but true, definitely a function of societal pressue to have instead of have not. It bothers me that nothing else matters anymore, intellect is only as good as you are rich and if you are rich you are a "genius". While most of today's "genuises" stole the ideas that made them great including MrSofty, AppleHead, FaceBerg and the Googlehimer - sure they added stuff, made things better but nonetheless they stole the core idea form somebody else that created the market - especailly with software. AppleHead less than the others but still stole many of its core like the GUI, the mouse, etc. MrSofty stole it from them and then had IBM build it (Windows). Google used Yahoo's (and others) work.

Point is, anything is ok as long as you win and get rich, then your a genuis...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:22 | 2480222 TJ00
TJ00's picture

Well it should be easy for them to get rich from comp sci, here is the super secret code block

for(;;) {

      // my account at intrade selling FB at $10101010.10

      buy("FB",BID, 10101010.10);



I'll leave it to the reader to add the threading code to use all available processors, for extra credit use OpenMP to use all the computers in the company.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:53 | 2480119 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

And people still think it's odd that terrorists admit responsibility after they attack.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:53 | 2480123 BluePill
BluePill's picture

If you want Money



************----WORK  FOR JEW----****************************


Gentiles are meant to work and slog for their jewish masters

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:13 | 2480581 BLACK_DOG
BLACK_DOG's picture just setoff the red light at jewish international defence!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:55 | 2480135 vegas
vegas's picture

I think my nut sack popped listening to this - WTF hilarious.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:56 | 2480139 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"I don't care"


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:58 | 2480145 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

and when this market implodes as it will, and GS has massive layoffs, we can go down to wall street and laugh at the fucking assholes as they watch their lil world fall apart.

As this century continues, skills such as quantshave, will be less and less useful, and skills such as organic farming will be more and more in demand.

I mean, who puts in a job application for Titanic cabin boy AFTER it has already hit an iceberg?


fucking souless idiots, they will get what they deserve.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:09 | 2480561 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

As this century continues, skills such as quantshave, will be less and less useful

There will always be quants to be shaved.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:58 | 2480160 chet
chet's picture

It's the only employer left where your income growth will outpace inflation.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:59 | 2480167 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

all they have coming is massive layoffs.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:08 | 2480210 Ben Dover
Ben Dover's picture

If I may quote you, Tyler -

"All right, if the applicant is young, tell him he's too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat. If the applicant then waits for three days without food, shelter, or encouragement he may then enter and begin his training."

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:08 | 2480211 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Reminds me of those PSAs you see once in a while on TV, where the tag line is something to the effect of "No one ever says 'I wann be a junkie when I grow up.'"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:15 | 2480251 The Disappointed
The Disappointed's picture

'Where's my Spiderman beach towel? I've got a 7-figure student loan to 'default' on!'

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:25 | 2480302 El Tuco
El Tuco's picture

Well even a whore has to work I guess.....


What I find amazing is they still have clients. WTF is that all about....

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:26 | 2480311 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Whitey was sucking up almost as much as Dick Bove.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:38 | 2480379 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

after last month, muppets everywhere are looking to re-gain control over their own lives and destinies

move over warren and becky!  make room for them!  Happy Days OST: Splish Splash - Bobby Darin  (theFonz and richie's first song on the program, BiCheZ!)

when does UBS make all its muppets come to davos, next? 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:50 | 2480443 TacticalZen
TacticalZen's picture

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:54 | 2480465 sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

Yeah that's pretty much all they teach in MBA programs today I guess.  Now look here boyz and girlz, We are gonna Brainwash ...........uhm.....I mean teach you how to look at the world from the view of the Gold Man Sacks....They do God's work don't ya know?  Lord Blankfiend said it himself!!!  So it must be true.  I mean how in the fuckin wooooooorld would we allocate Capital without Goldman.  Those ever so wise Bankers that need a bailout from the FED every damn day.  God It would really be nice if these banks could only risk Their Equity for a change.  Oh that's right then they wouldn't need the Bailout insurance programs from the government when they fail cause they would just have lost their money.  Then we would see how big their ballz are and how "smart" their traders are right?  I bet they wouldn't be goin round beating their Chest like a damn Silverback all the time when they start posting losses like the White Shoe boyz over at JPM.  Serious Sickness these bankers have... Maybe we should just puttem outta their misery and do everybody a favor.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:18 | 2480608 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

No they teach MBAs that  there is only one way to pay off Student Debt and pay big Donations to their Alma Mater and it is a Government-Approved Vampire Squid

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:02 | 2480511 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

These days it's either work for the Gov't or work for an investment bank that gets funded by the Gov't.

GS is just the the leveraged ticket for those Facebook addicted college brats that have never taken or given a punch in their Like... Like world.

They either begin enjoying being short fingered, vulgarian "moneychangers" in the temple....or they will be treated like submissive slaves fetching coffee and lunches.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:06 | 2480545 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

the media sucks your schlong, you fuck up, lose a bunch of money for your clients, but you always win cuz the government backs you and the media pumps whatever you tell them to, you make shit loads of money, and NEVER have the threat of going to jail.  what's not to like if you don't have any morals whatsoever, or charachter, or integrity, or wisdom.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:06 | 2480547 rockraider3
rockraider3's picture

Well, okay, I'll work for UBS.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:17 | 2480605 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

Lots of kids in sicily and Naples dream of joining their Mafia too

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:27 | 2480650 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

"I worked for Goldman Sachs"

In a few years people will do better by wiping that out from their resume.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:28 | 2480655 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

Why would you not want to work there?

1) Impunity from any and all prosecution for fraud or violations of securities rules

2) Make a lot of money hosing investors

3) Get a leg up to work for the Govt when the time is right.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:31 | 2480664 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

I want the white one.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:32 | 2480665 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

If I work at the Golden Sack does it count towards my seniority and pension vesting at Treasury?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:40 | 2480692 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:55 | 2480743 pissing_excellence
pissing_excellence's picture

GS reminds me of the Overfiend.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:59 | 2480761 misnomer
misnomer's picture

Well, if you are a good boy, go to work for GS, in time, you too, can run a country like Canada (into the ground).

Worked for Mark Carney!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 15:03 | 2480777 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

and you ZH readers now believe an investment bankster?


In any case, back in the 20's and 30's everyone wanted to be John Dillinger and Bonnie and Clyde....that is, as long as the regulator act like the Indiana State Police did in those days!


Why wouldn't any smart ass kid not want to learn how to be a rich crook if the government doesn't prosecute?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 16:03 | 2480989 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 15:56 | 2480968 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Nothing matters but the money. I'm so glad I left that shit. Get ready for the flood of applicants for the Homeland Security detention jobs.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 16:09 | 2481013 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

they can model their union after that of the CA "prisonGuards'Auxilliary"  4duhFemaCamp-TV-watchingBraintrust

not that there's anything wrong with that...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 16:24 | 2481050 metaforge
metaforge's picture

Still openings for go-fers between GS & The Fed.  Must have felony embezlement record.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:20 | 2481517 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

McDonalds also said their applicant pool was the bigest ever and ever more impressive, the cometition to get into McD's prestigious Hamburger Univeristy is more competitive the Harvard.


Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:58 | 2481640 Ocean22
Ocean22's picture

You copied the iPhone vs htc xtranormal to the letter. Kind of funny but not original.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!