I Want To Work At The Goldman Sachs

Tyler Durden's picture

Three years of anti-Goldman bashing and exposing the company's legal and illegal dirty laundry have clearly had an impact on society:

  • *COHN SAYS SUMMER PROGRAM APPLICATION POOL WAS BIGGEST EVER

The Borg zombification shall continue until everyone wants to work solely at "The Goldman Sachs"

And a gentle reminder (aside from the need to 'take crack cocaine to get through the day' why maybe, just maybe - all these wannabe masters of the universe, should take pause)...

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Aziz's picture

Want to work at Goldman Sachs?

Bend over. 

Bazinga's picture

Or find as many clients as you can that are willing to bend over, and rape them. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat...

Harlequin001's picture

'*COHN SAYS SUMMER PROGRAM APPLICATION POOL WAS BIGGEST EVER'

well of course it was, everyone else is unemployed...

The only people making any money in this environment are bankers, and you can imagine just how much good that's going to be to a society that needs to eat...

Oh regional Indian's picture

Hidden in plain sight.

It's not Goldman Sachs

It's Gold Man Sacks.

Changes everything eh?

Golden Balls for one and Alls.

ori

towers-of-baabel-and-levers-of-control

Pladizow's picture

Last in at the end of a bubble!

Harlequin001's picture

There are only two jobs in demand in this country. One is banking and the other is printing...

Neither of which have any long term prospects...

 

emersonreturn's picture

ori.  not in this incarnation.  this time around gold man sucks.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

I applied at Goldman Sachs & they told me to come back after I've done time for embezzlement, fraud, and tax evasion.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Crazy stuff eh? You're welcome Gooch.

ori

boogerbently's picture

It's the old "if you can't beat them, join them" !

Amish Hacker's picture

Relatively few people work AT Goldman Sachs, but all of us work FOR Goldman Sachs.

Harlequin001's picture

Not me dude.

I banged out of this one a long time ago, sold my house, cleared my debts and bought gold. I owe nobody nothing (apart from an the totally unpayable bill due to my nationality, thanks govt for that one) but for now I can honestly say, I work for myself...

Fuck 'em...

Bananamerican's picture

"The Devil will find work for "Idol" hands to do"

 "APPLICATION POOL WAS BIGGEST EVER"...maybe they've solved their shrinking client pool problem...What if they're all asked to make some "test trades"?

blindfaith's picture

 

 

No Doubt divinity school grads trying to trade the student loan debt for work.

Rahm's picture

"I want to work at the Goldman Sachs"

Eventually you will be lynched.

"I dont care"

blindfaith's picture

 

 

We already work FOR Goldman, we might well work AT Goldman.  

Agree. at least we might get a nice lunch.  Oh, sorry I thought you wrote lunch not lynched.

nope-1004's picture

Applications are up because unemployment is up.  That's not surprising.

Of course, it's not surprising is if you don't believe BLSBS.

 

arvesia's picture

think twice. summer application is for summer internsgip. I am not so sure students are unemployed already..

slaughterer's picture

I want to give unsuccessful trade recommendations to my clients to make them lose all of their money all of the time.  

 

Bananamerican's picture

you, sir, have no morals...

You're hired!!

PontifexMaximus's picture

And make my bonus going skyhigh

Rich Bagg's picture

Not surprising.  Most people would rather fleece a muppet than be one.

 

 

CPL's picture

What isn't dicussed is the same applicants also put in their resumes at McDonalds, Burger King, Rona, Sears, Concer stores...along with the other 40 million unemployed youth in the USA.

 

When someone states the largest pool of applicants ever.  It's a sure sign the economy is running like shit when the news is about applications recieve and not about jobs created.

AlaricBalth's picture

GS Employment Application Index is at a new high!
I wonder if the new applicants can spell "bubble".

TheGardener's picture

No harm if you intentionally get yourself trained by the enemy.

If I were young again, I would do so again.

Bending over is for those who get the fun out of underlings
life.Most conscripts and most voters agree, so why argue ?

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I do not want to work at Goldman Sachs.  But then, I do not want to work either.

fuu's picture

Hey, if you don't want to work, are you hiring?

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Hiring in the USA???  I am NOT suicidal!

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Habla espanol?  If you can sell bearings in Peru for us "You're hired!"

slewie the pi-rat's picture

send us both

we'll work out the lingo when we get there

just tell us what currency you want to get paid in and give us pin money for a month, ok?

see what happens

L0L!!!

Squishi's picture

Do you like pain?

ITrustMyGut's picture

everyoine hates corruption etc.. until they have a chance to participate.. and get their piece of the pie....even if it means using some salts to finally enjoy a lil meat  =^.^=

Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

i think i hurt myself laughing

gckings19's picture

yes....splunge for me as well.

Let them eat iPads's picture

I want to carpet bomb Goldman Sachs.

Triple A's picture

I just heard Tom Keene at Bloomberg give a shout out to zero hedge. I didn't know the hedge was so mainstream.

Squishi's picture

I heard him do it ONE YEAR AGO!

BLACK_DOG's picture

I heard the same thing! ZH

jmcadg's picture

This is awesome. Ironically if Blankfein saw this he'd be brimming with pride, the dickwad.

slaughterer's picture

This video made me spurt more coffee out of my nose than a Banzai triptych.  

TideFighter's picture

I wish I could send them real fucking starving bears.

MsCreant's picture

With the way they have artificially propped up this economy, there should be lots of them roaming wallstreet...

MsCreant's picture

You just might drown, careful little bears...

You might want a spider man towel if you swim go swimming in that pool. I heard Ben is going to let loose with lots of liquidity this summer.