I Want To Work At The Goldman Sachs

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Three years of anti-Goldman bashing and exposing the company's legal and illegal dirty laundry have clearly had an impact on society:

  • *COHN SAYS SUMMER PROGRAM APPLICATION POOL WAS BIGGEST EVER

The Borg zombification shall continue until everyone wants to work solely at "The Goldman Sachs"

And a gentle reminder (aside from the need to 'take crack cocaine to get through the day' why maybe, just maybe - all these wannabe masters of the universe, should take pause)...

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Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:25 | 2479952 Aziz
Aziz's picture

Want to work at Goldman Sachs?

Bend over. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:27 | 2479968 Bazinga
Bazinga's picture

Or find as many clients as you can that are willing to bend over, and rape them. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:34 | 2479997 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

'*COHN SAYS SUMMER PROGRAM APPLICATION POOL WAS BIGGEST EVER'

well of course it was, everyone else is unemployed...

The only people making any money in this environment are bankers, and you can imagine just how much good that's going to be to a society that needs to eat...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:58 | 2480157 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Hidden in plain sight.

It's not Goldman Sachs

It's Gold Man Sacks.

Changes everything eh?

Golden Balls for one and Alls.

ori

towers-of-baabel-and-levers-of-control

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:09 | 2480216 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Last in at the end of a bubble!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 09:57 | 2483792 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

There are only two jobs in demand in this country. One is banking and the other is printing...

Neither of which have any long term prospects...

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:18 | 2480271 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

ori.  not in this incarnation.  this time around gold man sucks.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:26 | 2480312 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

just read...

WOW.

Thanks, Ori

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:19 | 2480613 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

I applied at Goldman Sachs & they told me to come back after I've done time for embezzlement, fraud, and tax evasion.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 23:05 | 2482377 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Crazy stuff eh? You're welcome Gooch.

ori

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:19 | 2480274 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

It's the old "if you can't beat them, join them" !

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:35 | 2480362 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Relatively few people work AT Goldman Sachs, but all of us work FOR Goldman Sachs.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 09:34 | 2483639 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Not me dude.

I banged out of this one a long time ago, sold my house, cleared my debts and bought gold. I owe nobody nothing (apart from an the totally unpayable bill due to my nationality, thanks govt for that one) but for now I can honestly say, I work for myself...

Fuck 'em...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:36 | 2480011 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

They don't rinse.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:31 | 2479975 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"The Devil will find work for "Idol" hands to do"

 "APPLICATION POOL WAS BIGGEST EVER"...maybe they've solved their shrinking client pool problem...What if they're all asked to make some "test trades"?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:29 | 2480329 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

 

 

No Doubt divinity school grads trying to trade the student loan debt for work.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479981 Rahm
Rahm's picture

"I want to work at the Goldman Sachs"

Eventually you will be lynched.

"I dont care"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:23 | 2480297 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

 

 

We already work FOR Goldman, we might well work AT Goldman.  

Agree. at least we might get a nice lunch.  Oh, sorry I thought you wrote lunch not lynched.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479982 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Applications are up because unemployment is up.  That's not surprising.

Of course, it's not surprising is if you don't believe BLSBS.

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:35 | 2480007 arvesia
arvesia's picture

think twice. summer application is for summer internsgip. I am not so sure students are unemployed already..

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479983 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I want to give unsuccessful trade recommendations to my clients to make them lose all of their money all of the time.  

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:33 | 2480001 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

you, sir, have no morals...

You're hired!!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:22 | 2480628 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

And make my bonus going skyhigh

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:36 | 2480016 Rich Bagg
Rich Bagg's picture

Not surprising.  Most people would rather fleece a muppet than be one.

 

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:50 | 2480104 CPL
CPL's picture

What isn't dicussed is the same applicants also put in their resumes at McDonalds, Burger King, Rona, Sears, Concer stores...along with the other 40 million unemployed youth in the USA.

 

When someone states the largest pool of applicants ever.  It's a sure sign the economy is running like shit when the news is about applications recieve and not about jobs created.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:32 | 2480351 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

GS Employment Application Index is at a new high!
I wonder if the new applicants can spell "bubble".

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:34 | 2480360 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

No harm if you intentionally get yourself trained by the enemy.

If I were young again, I would do so again.

Bending over is for those who get the fun out of underlings
life.Most conscripts and most voters agree, so why argue ?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:27 | 2479961 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I do not want to work at Goldman Sachs.  But then, I do not want to work either.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:34 | 2480004 fuu
fuu's picture

Hey, if you don't want to work, are you hiring?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:46 | 2480712 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Hiring in the USA???  I am NOT suicidal!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:50 | 2480722 fuu
fuu's picture

Will travel!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 15:59 | 2480974 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Habla espanol?  If you can sell bearings in Peru for us "You're hired!"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 18:59 | 2481644 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

send us both

we'll work out the lingo when we get there

just tell us what currency you want to get paid in and give us pin money for a month, ok?

see what happens

L0L!!!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 19:43 | 2481743 fuu
fuu's picture

Done and done!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:27 | 2479965 Squishi
Squishi's picture

Do you like pain?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:28 | 2479972 fuzed
fuzed's picture

Bubble 3.0?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479974 ITrustMyGut
ITrustMyGut's picture

everyoine hates corruption etc.. until they have a chance to participate.. and get their piece of the pie....even if it means using some salts to finally enjoy a lil meat  =^.^=

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:29 | 2480327 Boiling Frogs
Boiling Frogs's picture

You mean like...bath salts?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:29 | 2479978 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

i think i hurt myself laughing

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:30 | 2479984 Martin Silenus
Martin Silenus's picture

Splunge?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:11 | 2480228 gckings19
gckings19's picture

yes....splunge for me as well.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:30 | 2479985 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

I want to carpet bomb Goldman Sachs.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:30 | 2479987 Triple A
Triple A's picture

I just heard Tom Keene at Bloomberg give a shout out to zero hedge. I didn't know the hedge was so mainstream.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:32 | 2479999 Squishi
Squishi's picture

I heard him do it ONE YEAR AGO!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:52 | 2480114 BLACK_DOG
BLACK_DOG's picture

I heard the same thing! ZH

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:31 | 2479992 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

This is awesome. Ironically if Blankfein saw this he'd be brimming with pride, the dickwad.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:32 | 2479996 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

This video made me spurt more coffee out of my nose than a Banzai triptych.  

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:32 | 2479998 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

I wish I could send them real fucking starving bears.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:37 | 2480023 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

With the way they have artificially propped up this economy, there should be lots of them roaming wallstreet...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:36 | 2480013 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You just might drown, careful little bears...

You might want a spider man towel if you swim go swimming in that pool. I heard Ben is going to let loose with lots of liquidity this summer. 

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