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IceCap Asset Management: "Cool Things From Europe"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

From IceCap Asset Management, June 2012

Cool Thins From Europe

Let’s face it – Europe is a cool place.

In addition to being cool, Europe is also without a doubt the most creative and imaginative place outside of Middle Earth. Its ability to  consistently baffle itself certainly warrants valuable space in IceCap’s global market outlooks.

Financially speaking, Europe is broke - it no longer works.

Figuratively speaking, Europe has entered its golden age.

Unworkable solutions dreamt by an unworkable political system is consuming all real and electronic ink known to mankind. A day doesn’t go bye where local newspapers are not bursting with news on Greece, Spain and their Euro-cousins. This sudden love-in with Europe has surely removed America from the global spotlight. But, be patient as this will change later during the year.

To demonstrate the absurdity of this place called Europe, one has to understand nothing else except the legalities behind Europe’s rules for selling cabbage to each other.

Mike Shedlock (Mish’s Global Economic Trend Analysis) points out that only in Europe, would regulations for selling this very basic vegetable require a 26,911 word document. For comparison, the entire US Constitution with all 27 Amendments only used 7,818 words.

To further understand this cool place called Europe, we’ll introduce you to the main groups responsible for providing a solution to their debt crisis.

European Union

There shouldn’t be anything baffling about the formation and structure of the European Union, but there is.

It seems that this select group of countries has agreed to do business together through a system of supranational independent institutions and intergovernmental negotiated decisions by the member states. We have no idea what this means.

There are also many very important institutions in the EU including the European Commission, the Court of Justice of the European Union, the European Central Bank, the Council of the European Union, and the European Council. Don’t laugh, but the Council of the European Union and the European Council are two different groups - we kid you not.

We’d be embarrassed if we forgot to mention the European Parliament. This eclectic group sits in Brussels with each member receiving very nice pay cheques and benefits yet at the end of the day they play second fiddle to the elected governments from each country within the European Union.

Speaking of countries, members of the European Union includes Europe’s favourite 27 countries. To be a member you simply have to be a country not called Switzerland or Norway. Yes, neither Switzerland nor Norway are members.

Baffled yet? Then, let’s move on.

Euro-zone

If the European Union didn’t baffle you, well perhaps the Euro-zone will.

The Euro-zone is another member only group that includes 17 countries of the 27 countries that make up the European Union. Each of these 17 countries converted their currency into Euro’s. Meanwhile, the remaining 10 countries continue to use their own currency while remaining a part of the system of supranational independent institutions and intergovernmental negotiated decisions by the member states.

And, in case you are curious, it’s unimportant to know that this currency mish mash hasn’t changed anything of substance at the Council of the European Union or the European Council. Now not just anyone can become a part of the Euro-zone. First, you must be a member of the European Union and be willing to relinquish control over interest rates and other important monetary policy tools. More importantly, you must sign the Maastricht Treaty which explicitly states financial criteria necessary to become a member of the Euro-zone. Criteria includes:

1) Annual government spending must never be more than 3% of the taxes you collect
2) Your total debt outstanding should never be more than 60% of your economy’s GDP.

Considering no European country except Switzerland and Norway has ever achieved these rather unlofty goals, the Maastricht Treaty certainly ranks high up there on the bafflement scale.

The list continues in the full presentation (pdf) or below

IceCap-Asset-Management-Limited-Global-Markets June 2012

 

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Mon, 07/02/2012 - 21:43 | 2582377 ACP
ACP's picture

Stone Cold, BITCHEZ!

In other news, the town of Mammoth Lakes, CA just filed for bankruptcy. Let the dominoes fall!

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 21:48 | 2582394 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

i've been wrong still can't believe this thing is even going as is,,,,,,tomorrows another day of take out the trash day (a day before a national holiday when everyone is away)
 lets see if the bankers can get this endgame done!!!!!!

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 01:23 | 2582786 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

yes- the bankers celebrate their independence from having a moral compass-oh wait-that's every day

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 21:55 | 2582400 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

It seems that the pile of leaves, dry wood and gun powder has been stacked up to sky. What we need now is a match. This will make an ultimate bone-fire, which should be able to heat up the place nicely.

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 23:35 | 2582634 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

I'm telling you, this is KITING on a Governmental and Big bank level. I write you a check, you write me a check, they will write us a check, all we need to do is keep the checks moving. Who needs any real money, it says here on my check that I have money...

The world is full of ignorant slobs just passing the buck, or sitting on the couch watching Nascar!

Wake up sheeple, it is your money too!  Your lives will depend on it "real soon".

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 21:51 | 2582401 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Europe is so cool it's the tip of the coming economic ice age.

 

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 22:21 | 2582469 ucb
ucb's picture

This review of Europe looks like it was scripted from If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium"

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 01:20 | 2582783 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

there's something about chicks from the 60s' asses that drive me crazy. suzanne pleshette looks great-but she didn't do it for me as a 7 year old watching The Bob Newhart show.

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 22:20 | 2582476 monad
monad's picture

Atlantis sinking.

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 02:30 | 2582836 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Atlantis?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_pvKEfTDk4

"No more shines Billy."

"Now go home and get your f**kin shine box!"

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 22:23 | 2582481 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture
So what? Nothing can't go wrong. X____________ boost Fed hopes

X put in any negative news!

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 02:01 | 2582514 Plumplechook
Plumplechook's picture

The European Union is nothing but a protectionist trading bloc.  Strip away all the lofty idealistic rhetoric and that is all it ever has been.

It is a profoundly anti-democratic institution that has been set up principly  to protect its grossly inefficient farmers - simultaneously ripping off its consumers and impoverishing more efficient producers from outside the EU.

My one hope from this whole Euro-debt crisis is that it leads to the overdue collapse of the EU and the corrupt mega-bureaucracy that supports it.

Fuck the EU.

 

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 22:40 | 2582518 Itch
Itch's picture

Of the puzzles in life, Europe has done me up a kipper. I should know everything about it, i should know Europe inside out; maybe i have just been lazy, or maybe its just a mess. Its just such an absurd construction. After trading Euro for over 5 years like a maniac, i must say, i dont have much of a clue about it, or where its going. I think i did once, and i think i used to care, too. I picked the wrong currency, obviously, jesus what a thing to do. Im sitting her laughing my leg off, I had hair 5 years ago, no joke. Correlation is not causation I suppose, but I have a decent case.

Its a bit like a math learning curve, after years of daily practice you can master just about anything with little effort, but if you take your eye of the ball, in no time at all you are back at the start practising basic calculus and trig, then after a while you say to yourself, why bother, if i ever find something worthy to apply it to i will just re-learn it ...keeping up to scratch with the European train wreck is the same. I get up in the morning and try to state my case, and its just like, its not there, this monster has is devoured me. Price doesn’t fuck me up like that, that’s my mate from now on.

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 22:45 | 2582531 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

So whats the deal on the cabbage??

 

1776 Bitchez

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3u6z5C0leD8

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 01:42 | 2582801 green888
green888's picture

The cabbage is a garden vegetable that is as large and wise as a man's head 

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 23:10 | 2582589 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i enjoyed reading this about the EU all the way till it was over...

i'm sure the foundingMothers will be happy that someone is counting the words

ya don't hear about that too often

you start throwing those kinda numbers around, people gonna take notice

 

 

 

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 01:20 | 2582782 Joe A
Joe A's picture

It gets even wackier than that. The European Parliament -an illusion created to leave the impression that the Europeans are represented while the real power resides in the unelected European Commission- has two places to convene: one in Brussels and one in Strassbourg. One part of the month they convene in Brussels, then they pack their bags and go to Strassbourg for the other part of the month. This of course is all paid for by the European taxpayer. MEPs by the way have been proven to be big frauds. You see, when they go to the parliament they need to punch in. But they don't have to punch out. Normally, every worker who punches in also need to punch out. But not the MEPs. So they punch in and then go home for the weekend. This has been proven several times.

In every country that is newly added to the EU, people from that country try to become and MEP because that gravy is sooooo good.

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 04:54 | 2582932 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

You got it a bit wrong... They actually stay six months in each place. Still it´s incredibly absurd: the parliament of the United States of Europe can´t stay in one places due to national pride. And the bills lands at around €200 million just for the moving. 

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 01:27 | 2582790 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

I can about imagine the hot E. European whoors they have stashed in each town- some real Slavic freaks with cheekbones that could cut diamonds

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 01:57 | 2582812 aleph0
aleph0's picture

On Maastrich Rules ....

The Dam broke in 2004 when the German FinMin Eichel under pressure from Chancellor Schroeder ( close the next Elections ) managed to persaude the EU to NOT force Germany to pay the "agreed" penalty for breaking the rules ( Germany went over the 3% rule ... @ 3.9% IIRC ). France was in the same boat.
Eichel mustered poltical support in the EU for "changing/ignoring the rules".
Result : Germany & France just got a friendly warning instead.
It made the politicians of "those countries that obeyed the rules" look like fools in front of their home parliaments.
The Dam was broken , the sluice gates opened , and everybody had a great Debt binge... until reality came home.
FWIW

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 02:00 | 2582815 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Neaderthal made those cave paintings. They were'nt made by Europeans.

My human geography class had me hopping mad again today as the teacher showed a video on the Serbian/Croatian war. UN propoganda that they are feeding into the colleges. Students don't believe that shit anymore. Everyone puts their heads on their desks and looks at the Iphone messages. I was convinced the UN spokesperson in the video owned shares in the company that supplied the weapons. The Europeans need to get NATO and the UN out of their countries.

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 02:21 | 2582830 catch edge ghost
catch edge ghost's picture

hah. reminded me of a Monty Python bit.

 The People's Front

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 03:56 | 2582895 Fort
Fort's picture

I love the cabbage example, just trying to think of the productive contribution this silly cabbage regulation might have within the EU. Cabbage I must say is cheap. Perhaps that's it. There are so many regulations concerning this vegetable that nobody borders to stick to any regulation at all with the result that it is produced as efficient as possible and as profitable. See how the EU parliament contributes to the entrepreneurial spirit in Europe. Hilarious!!!!

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 04:37 | 2582926 Fort
Fort's picture

Spotted a little error:

1) Annual government spending must never be more than 3% of the taxes you collect

should be

1) Annual government spending must never exceed taxes you collect by more than 3%. Not that it matters, these rules are meant to be ignored.

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 04:41 | 2582927 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

"Mike Shedlock (Mish’s Global Economic Trend Analysis) points out that only in Europe, would regulations for selling this very basic vegetable require a 26,911 word document. For comparison, the entire US Constitution with all 27 Amendments only used 7,818 words."

Citing a brain dead moron doesn't help. Why not compare that European regulatory document to Obamacare or some other absurdity from inside the US bureaucracy? Anyone for Pension reform? Remember Mike Bost? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhbRcDZiJJc

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 04:54 | 2582930 Nachdenken
Nachdenken's picture

The European Union is the Transit Phase to a self-governing Executive (Burocratic) State.  The EU is a pseudo-democracy where the electorate is scattered in 27 nations whose citizens are unaware of how little control they have on the legislative and executive. arms of government.

That is neither ugly nor beautiful.  It is a transition to a re-stratification of human capabilities, with the control mechanisms concentrated in the interests of one governing strata.

A peaceful, passive, gradual takeover of the 80% to support the 1% and the 19% ruling beurocracy.

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 05:10 | 2582940 dunce
dunce's picture

I think obamacare was plaigerized from the eurozone bureaucrats, no one has counted the words ,just the pages in the passed bill,not the implementing regulations. I also think that any regulation that excedds some number of pages ceases to be comprehensible. The criteria for the length of a document seems to be of such size as to require a bureaucratic department to administer it.

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 07:09 | 2583028 Linus2011
Linus2011's picture

As a german with insight information i feel entitled to declare our inofficial plan:

Starting on the 1st of January 2013

(1) the EU will be renamed into "Deutsches Reich"

(2) the Euro will be converted into "Reichsmark"

(3) the Capital of the new Reich will be Berlin and not Brussels anymore

(4) the language all within Europe will be german

(5) all foreign and non german financial assets are belong to the Deutsches Reich

Tue, 07/03/2012 - 07:38 | 2583092 omi
omi's picture

When you say IceCap, 

I'm thinking of this... 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!