IceCap Asset Management: The Flounder-Meter

Tyler Durden's picture

While every business and industry implicitly believes in its meaningless acronyms and language, nothing compares to the financial services sector. This industry, the one who gifted us APR, ISM, RSP as well as Core CPI calculated to the 3rd decimal point, is the unchallenged king of senseless terms only a risk manager would love. In response to these unnecessary complications, IceCap is introducing a necessary yet simplified tool for measuring the state of the World’s leading economies – "The Flounder Meter." This new metric considers the combination of money printing, bank bailouts, debt levels, government spending and borrowing costs for a given country. The Flounder Meter will finally allow everyone to see through the smoke and mirrors and decide for themselves whether a country is in good financial health.

The Flounder-Meter...


Full IceCap presentation below (pdf)

IceCapAssetManagementLimitedGlobalMarkets August 2012

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old naughty's picture

Even ignoring the 26 million Canada has; with the middle kingdom close to printing; the first five line represents majority of population on this planet...that are fxxked.

The Flounder Meter "concluded" us.

Matt's picture

Canada should get at least half a flounder for bank bailouts, what with the billions the government gave them:


Thomas's picture

"Sand mail from some flounder?"

FrankDrakman's picture

I always appreciate an R&B reference.

d edwards's picture

If you imagine them as dead flounders it's even more graphic-a bunch of dead fish stinkin' up the place!


francis_sawyer's picture

Famous "Flounders" thru the ages...


Fat, drunk, & stupid is no way to go thru life son...

knukles's picture

My daddy used to tell me that; so I grew long hair, whored, drove hot cars and dressed in expensive clothes, too.

roadsnbridges's picture

The FMe!  I love it!

ebworthen's picture

No worries, U.S.A. has Apple, up over 80% in one year and 10% of the market.

Apple not only invented the cell phone, but also the paper clip and the question mark.  Just ask Samsung.

All clear.  Recovery, green shoots, green light.

buzzsaw99's picture

what a freaking joke. a california jury, who has their whole pension tied up in craapl stock overwhelming sides with apple. That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous![/Jackie Chiles]

ebworthen's picture


I'm pretty sure Apple can sue you for $10 because you used their name and an exclamation point (they invented that too) in your first sentence.

Just wait until Apple buys Disney; money managers will only need to buy one stock, and any use of the words "Mouse" or "Jobs" will be subject to a $100 per use royalty fee.

It will save the U.S.A. economy, and we can all go to DisneyPlaces with our iPhones for only $499 a day.

Pirates in the Pirates of the Carribean to be wearing Samsung arm bands, all the characters in "It's A Small World" to be tapping an iPad or gazing into an iPhone with headphones on.

If you get anywhere near one of the hot dog or plastic toy stands your Apple mobile merchant app charges you $10.

Crisis solved, NASDAQ at all time highs.

hannah's picture

this is priceless...americans truely are the dumbest people on earth. quote from link:

'Considering, Apple ships all they're work to china it's easy for them to copy it."

so let me get this right apple has the products made in china. ships them to the usa. then ships them back to china and those sneaky ass bastard chinese then copy the iphone.....? WTF

FrankDrakman's picture

Samsung's from South Korea, moron.

Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"I'm pretty sure Apple can sue you for $10 because you used their name and an exclamation point (they invented that too) in your first sentence."

Makes Bill Gates look saintly, no?

machineh's picture

Apple has replaced Microsoft as the Evil Empire.

No mo' iShit -- screw the Bully of Cupertino!

Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture


My first computer (very early '80's) was an Apple II+. It was 'open architecture' and allowed dozens of (mostly) small companies worldwide to design and build add-on boards to enhance it's performance. Naturally all of these companies touted Apple Computers to everyone as this improved the potential for their businesses. This also held true for the Apple IIe. Apple had an established and growing worldwide unpaid sales force, and a 100% lock on what was to become the "Personal Computer". Then in 1983 came the $10,000 closed architecture LISA which led to the Macintosh. This Jobs character who in my opinion was nothing but a super-controlling con man treated Jim Warzniak, his unpaid sales force, and Apples customers (take the McIntosh as I give it to you, no enhancements allowed) like shit.

This created a vacuum and provided the opening for IBM, Compaq and all the others to get a foothold in the PC business. He had it all and the greedy, controlling bastard blew it!

The company almost went tits-up several times and only with the development of much more reliable miniaturization was he able to pull it off on his return.

I really question how many of "his" ideas and developments were really his (I suspect more were stolen than not).

I was unfortunate to have been in business years ago with a con-man type like jobs (not as good, though) who would literally lie, cheat and steal to achieve his ends- obviously, the business did not last long. The old saying "you don't really know someone until you go into business with him" is absolutely true.

Jobs fits the mold perfectly - more competent than most - but the pattern is clear.

Since the LISA I have NEVER OWNED an Apple product and I never will!

Lednbrass's picture

Well, the graph makes it plain and the only choice left for the US is clear- we must annex Canada and force them to borrow money to bail out our banks.  Those silly people live on top of a good bit of our oil supply, so they are probably terrorists anyhow.

willien1derland's picture

Finest post I have read to date - Two Thumbs up...despite the fact that the Canadians are peaceful, hard-working & extremely productive for so many years it has probably been a clever ruse to hide their subversive terrorist tendencies...should have guessed that their tactics were pure 'trickeration' (ibit ESPN) as who would refer to their fiat as 'Loonies & Toonies' - I mean the management of a country's fiat currency is serious business...Ummmm, yes SERIOUS BUSINESS...I am Gideon Gono & I approve this message (Central Bank Governor - Zimbabwe...not to be confused with Uganda and/or Spain) 

hannah's picture

red green or whatever that idiot on 1990's canadian tv's name is would make an excellent terrorist...!

lincolnsteffens's picture

No need to anex Canada. Pull a Sadam Husein on them and start slant drilling. Suck it all dry before they know it. That'll teach them not to be so frugal. They aren't using it so they must not need it. We could build tunnels like the Palestinians and cart away their gold and uranium too.

Fractal Parasite's picture

The parallel scenario would be that the US (Kuwait) slant-drills to extract oil from the Canadian (Iraqi) side of the border. The puppet Harper (Hussein), with the quiet nod from the double-crossing Washington regime, invades to stop the theft. Then the US counter-invades to steal all the oil, on the back of media hysteria about the mad dictator with WMDs.

GreatUncle's picture

Nope would take to long.

What you do is get apple to drag out of the archives its claim on  Iranian oil. Then extradite said Iranian government to California to stand trial for stealing apples resources. Then with a reasonable jury paid for by apple, apple wins, you got all the oil you want and negated a war in the process.

I would have laughed my socks of 30 years ago at such a suggestion today it could actually happen.

Wakanda's picture

No need to annex the north 40.  Arrange a false flag on the major breweries and the canooks will storm the border to exchange their sovereignty for kegs of refreshment.

They must hate us for our freedoms. </sarc>

willien1derland's picture

'Fan Mail from some Flounder?'-->Rocky & Bullwinkle

Robslob's picture


A report I can eat after reading!!!!

loveyajimbo's picture

This does not pass the Sandra Fluke smell test.  There MUST be an insult to women in here somewhere, I'll bet my soiled panties on it.

nmewn's picture

Clearly a War on Flounders...a Chaos of Camel Toes...a Genocide on Gynecology...a Pilfering of Pill Pushers.

Or maybe just another spoiled little brat law student who thinks the taxpayer owes her something.

knukles's picture

A Tempest of Tampons, a Plethora of Pads, a Matrix of Makeup, a Hurricane of Hair Dressing, a Bunch of Bras, a Gaggle of Garterbelts...

nmewn's picture

Forgive me...I was caught up in the story of the trials and travails of Solyndra and Seagate , where the government stands to gain and the people stand to lose (naturally) with Solyndra's odd Seagates CEO used to work for Bear-Stearns...back on...

A Cache of Catiness...the Unity of the Uterus...Victory for Vaginas...IED's or IUD's...Nails & Nihilism While you

Monedas's picture

Barakudos for the flounder meter ! I read it just for the halibut !  Pardon my sardinic humour ! I give my seal of approval ! I really don't give a flying fish !  I guess I otter clam up ? What's the porpoise ?   I'd like to ride Sandra's octopus but she might slap me with one of her flukes ! Her octopus probably taste like anchovy paste and smells like fish emulsion ? I better just Jack my Mackerel tonight ! SHARC/ON

francis_sawyer's picture

You must cut down the mightiest tree wiiiiiiiiiiith... A HERRING!


Monedas's picture

I am opposed to Bernanke's fishkill policy !  I believe in a baleenced budget ! We should tip the scales in the direction of oysterity ! No green arrow ? Did I make a gaff, my fellow bottom fishers ? I am just too cleaver for my own cod !

q99x2's picture

4 our of 5 flounders is a pretty good catch don't ya think?

JR's picture

We may not all be Keynesians now, but Michelle is.

Yen Cross's picture

  Michelle Malkin/ or Obama? That's rhetorical.

  Nice to hear from you J.R. .   Do you think the Saturday meeting will yield anything? I left my aud/usd longs open for the carry into Sunday as they are only 12 pips away from the close today.

  I like that slow breakdown in  gbp/usd. the dollar is heavily oversold.

Piranhanoia's picture

flounder is aimlessly falling all over when a real flounder just lays there at the bottom waiting for something to walk in its mouth....

either way it fits.

Monedas's picture

So that's a "Jump the Shark" moment ?    I got more laughs on the North Korean Vaudeville circuit !

Yen Cross's picture

 Some WB-7 would be appropriate about now?

hannah's picture

ok i have had to do a fair amount of marketing in my day and the 'flounder meter' is just boring. i think it should be called the 'limp peter meter' or the 'flacid johnson meter' or something catchy and sexy....

Yen Cross's picture

  Flounder,  [the other fast food chain fish].     BURP!   Fukishima sludge.

   BTW Tyler, you called that ( VIX/vol chart like a glove! ) Nice work!  If You are correct, a head fake will happen just before the major correction! It happened approx. 7-10 trading day later, then MOMO took over!

  Nice work on those charts Tylers! ;-)

masterinchancery's picture

Finally a simplified summary every country in Ponzi world!

pashley1411's picture

Where is Zimbabwei?    We gotz to know when that crucial moment when Zimbabwei toilet paper Z$100 trillion banknote becomes a safe haven.    

dognamedabu's picture

What an idea!! But bottom line. Does icecap produce results?

NoTTD's picture

Most important thing ever said to Flounder:  "What can I say?  You fucked up. You trusted us."

kevinearick's picture

from the bootlegging ohio ontario calvin breadbasket, i like canada as much as anyone, but, sadly, the P&G gm shell bush harper obama express has nearly expunged the work ethic there too.

if you want to see classic stupid in inaction, take look at the P&G middle class robot test, to lord over lower class robots, all watching automated machines do stupid sh- to justify the dead weight of nonperforming capital.