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Idiot US Consumer For Dummies
Take the previous post (average American = dumb as bag of hammers) add one USA-style credit card with an "accordion feature" ceiling, and you get this...
Source: theoatmeal.com, h/t Nolsgrad
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Uncle Willard lives in a 5 bdrm / 5 bath place that he hasn't made a payment on in three years. The cars and jet skis he bought with a heloc and they are his free and clear. now he is eating your lunch. yeah mutha fuggers, he's the stupit one. :roll:
Not much different than the macro China / America relationship.
He's as smart as anyone who is firmly attached to The System. When all that glitters rusts...
I think he's my neighbor!
Uncle Willard's likeness to Humpty Dumpty is....uncanny.
maybe more like Mr. Creasote?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlK62rjQWLk
Bring me a Jeroboam of wine, and a bucket.
Drinking heavilly...lets rock!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QaVzv5aR6U&feature=related
Uncle Willard looks Spunge Bob"ish"
What this country needs is more credit ;-)
And singers.
And dancers.
And some free circus passes!...oh, wait...lol.
And drive thru eateries that serve freedom fries.
This country needs an enema! Something to wash out the banker and political filth that clings to the bowels...
I hear ya...my enema was a little dry ;-)
STACK & HOLD GOLD&SILVER LONG BITCHES!!!
Be sure to register as a Republican in your state if it's a CLOSED primary, so you can vote Ron Paul to be the Republican candidate for the general election. You can always change it after the election. Tell your friends to do the same! RON PAUL 2012. *More than double the active military donations than all the other GOP candidtates combined and even higher than current commander-in-chief Barack Obama.
Sounds like the bloated military plans on owning him. Not good!
.
"More than double the active military donations than all the other GOP candidtates combined and even higher than current commander-in-chief Barack Obama."
Wow, now That really makes me want to vote for him! WTF? All hail the empire!
I asked lib types to vote for him last time and they just couldn't get it. It was then that I realized that it wasn't worth the effort, that voting WAS a waste (last time I voted). Yeah, I like Paul (I DID vote for him), but, the issue is The System- it's fucked, and there's no magic bullet, no gods or goddesses that can resurrect what is fundamentally flawed.
People need to spend more time Doing and less time Telling others what to do.
Lincoln abolished slavery. Obongo, the first black president, is bringing it back.
Bullshit. Lincoln destroyed the consitution and made it possible for all of us to be slaves.
the civil war was not about making black men free, it was about making white men slaves
From greenbacks to suspension of habeas corpus to freedom of the press to...well, clearly many need to read and interprete (cognitively) exactly what he said and did.
All anyone needs to do is actually read the Emancipation Proclamation to know the slaves his troops had actual control over, he refused to "free".
Some of the "best" lies ever told throughout history are the largest.
Here's a lie for the collection.
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/your-muslim-husband-is-a-jew/story-e6frg6so-1226009693798
The spook business is a very nasty trade.
Eli Cohen.
One of his accomplishments was advising that "shade trees" be planted for the comfort of the Syrian troops stationed along the Golan Heights.
Which, of course, pin pointed every position for his real countrymen, pretty clever really ;-)
First BLACK president, REALLY?
Well he's half white, er, right...
Would someone please explain how banks are recapitalized by government?
My understanding is that banks are in deep shit because they don't have enough capital. Where did the capital go and where do they get the new capital?
Ummmmmmmm. Wow. Maybe go back in the archives to 2008 and start reading?
The short answer is they are getting it from we the fucking sheeple.
Jump! You Fuckers!
Tyler, please dear god, do a piece on how we no longer have any banks in the USA. You can call a shrimp a whale but it is still a shrimp. You can call a politician a leader but it is still a politician.
There are no banks left in the USA.
My understanding is that banks are in deep shit because they don't have enough capital. Where did the capital go and where do they get the new capital?
*********
You are right-Banks are capital impaired and they can never be recapitalized-the money we've thrown into them is in reserves-so they can borrow from each other-because before the money ramp they didn;t trust each other-it's also there for loans to the public and businesses-but no one is borrowing and Banks are reluctant to lend into this mess-so the money sits in reserves-doing nothing for the economy-it has very low velocity-
Where did the money go?
It sits hidden in level 3 assets in CDO/CDS's and on the balance sheets of FNM etc. marked at dollar value with hopes it never sees the light of day and so far the "special accounting" rules have kept it from being marked to value by the market-
Banks are usually NOT recapitalized by the government. In the past three years that changed dramatically. Short answer: The bank has junk assets on its books (fannie, freddie, sallie) that they sell to the Fed. Worthless assets transfered to Fed's balance sheet, cash transferred to bank's balance sheet.
You have to understand how banks create money. (It makes comments on ZH re: peak debt absurd. At the limit it is infinite.)
Really, really short simplistic answer. As of Dec 2010, reserve limits on banks are 0, 3, or 10% (depending on size). Let's assume 10%. You deposit 100 dollars into VLB (Very large bank). They are required to hold $10 in reserve. They lend out $90. Further assume, every subsequent deposit/loan is also made into/from VLB. After only 5 iterations, VLB has lent $370, held $40 in reserve, and taken deposits of $410. ALL OF THIS WAS DONE ON YOUR INITIAL $100 DEPOSIT.
1. L $100, R $10, A $90
2. L $90, R $9, A $81
3. L $ 81, R$8, A $73
4. L $73, R $7, A $66
5. L $66, R $6, A $60
Now VLB's Liabilities (deposits) are $410. Their Reserves are $40. Their Assets (loans) are $370. The balance sheet is balanced.
Everything is fine until there is either a run on the bank (didn't happen, yet) or there are massive defaults (happened). But, five depositors have $410 in VLB, if, say, three loans default in the amount of $200 ($199), the books are out of whack.
You still have Liab of $410 and Reserves of $40, but the assets are now only $171. For a single bank, not a huge problem, the Fed and other banks could cover the loss. But, at the systemic level which we saw in 2008, CATASTROPHE. When it was said that banks were leveraged 40 something, that means a hell of a lot more than 5 iterations.
And that, my friend, is the $64 question, that TPTB are still trying to figure out with limited or no success to date. And the problem has escalated from the single bank level to the systemic level now to the sovereign level.
if, say, three loans default in the amount of $200
and where do they get the new capital?
They get the "new" capital by selling the loans that are about to default to the Fed at 100 cents to the dollar. (This is a criminal operation, nothing but a form of embezzlement since they are being vastly overpaid for their worthless asset. We should be able to sell the Fed our used toilet paper too under the principle of equal protection under the law.
In the end they actually haven't lost anything. The Fed's balance sheet gets a bit larger.
Except that if accounting standards still meant anything at all, they do not, but back when they used to count for something all financial instruments had to have a clear and understandable prospectus attached to their CUSIP and those were audited by entities that in turn were rated by impartial audited entities that were neutral parties. There were at least a dozen different organizations public and private that had the weight of law (prison) behind them when they looked into these, SEC used to actually ferret out any and all questionable securities, and it was that purity and transparency that made the USA the world banking and financial hub more than anything else.
These days who cares, bank capital schmank capital, some pimpled intern at the Fed just hits a few keys on his computer and the party rolls on. Shysters will sell you all kinds of AAA rated instruments that even have the seal of approval from the SEC itself which turn out to be garbage, but the new reality is it is only garbage till someone like Tyler figures out the scam angle, till then you are rich because you have an account at the squid that says so. Give your broker his excessive fees and you will do well. Just don't rock the fucking boat OK? Because if you do you will find out just how well your broker/bank is connected to Washington and how quick the last seven years of tax returns can be audited by a bastard from IRS who has a boner for you personally. Really, one call to their lobby rep in DC and you are toast.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQZRwvgMVCw
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Money_supply#Fractional-reserve_banking
Where did the capital go
Large Wall Street investment banks were leveraged up to 50x in their investment portfolios. With that much leverage, a small rise in asset value brings enormous profit, but a small drop in asset value brings enormous losses.
Asset values and profits did great during the housing bubble, but when the housing bubble burst, asset values started falling, bringing enormous losses, reducing their reserve levels below required minimums (if they're commercial banks too) or making them insolvent altogether. Bear Stearns was the first to bite the dust in March '08.
These investment banks also hedged with credit default swaps (CDS). When asset values started dropping, it triggered massive CDS payouts. AIG wrote most of those CDS but they were "naked" meaning AIG didn't have sufficient cash reserves to pay out on them, and AIG was insolvent almost overnight. This is Sept '08 now, when the actual "collapse" occurred.
and where do they get the new capital?
In comes Hank Paulson screaming America's financial system will implode if these huge investment banks aren't saved. He cons congress into giving him $700 billion, which is divvied up among these huge investment banks, some also being commercial banks like Bank of America.
But it's not enough. Yea, $700 billion isn't enough to save them. So Hank works a deal with Bernanke to bail out AIG so AIG can make good on those CDS. That's $186 billion if memory serves me correctly.
Now we're up to $886 billion in bailouts. And it's STILL not enough. Treasury is tapped out. They can't do anymore.
So Bernanke and the Fed takes over, opening up new "lending facilities" and "asset purchase facilities" which more or less buy toxic (i.e. worthless) bank assets (at full "par" value), the cash going into bank reserve accounts at the Fed (earning 3% interest). That's how these huge investment banks go from insolvency to $1.5 TRILLION in "excess reserves" at the Fed, getting them back to minimum reserve requirements ...and way beyond.
Altogether the Fed gives or pledges over $20 TRILLION to these huge Wall Street investment banks ...and many foreign banks too. Now they're literally swimming in cash and start partying high, paying enormous record-breaking bonuses and such.
Then Bernanke starts helping them make easy money. He starts up "quantitative easing" where these cash-fat banks can buy Treasuries, hold them a few weeks, and flip them to the Fed for a nice profit.
Epilogue
But there's no free lunch.
Those trillions of dollars given to those huge Wall Street investment banks (and many foreign banks), plus hundreds of billions more to buy Treasury debt in "quantitative easing", are created out of thin air, expanding the money supply at a record pace and debasing the currency at a record pace.
Since Sept '08 the US dollar loses 33% of its value, going from 97% overall loss of value to 98% overall loss of value, causing massive price increases in food, fuel, and other necessities.
That's 33% of Americans' present and future wealth stolen since Sept '08 via the silent thief of currency debasement, and given to Wall Street ...and the government ...and foreign banks.
All done by one person: Ben Bernanke.
It doesn't stop there.
Those multi-trillion dollar bailouts and rapid expansion of the money supply creates widespread concern about the US dollar, which causes gold and silver to skyrocket in price.
I was channel surfing after Survivor and went past Bloomberg, they were doing a story on Hermes, the super uptight expensive retailers to the gigarich, it has a larger market cap SocGen at this point.
I often pay for thing with cash. People ask, "why"? I tell them I don't want to pay the interchange fee, which merely goes to support some banker's undeserved bonus. And I tell them interchange is a massive drag on the economy.
Almost to a person -- cusotmers, cashiers, even bank tellers -- they ask me, "what's interchange"? Are you goddamn kidding me? Interchange is the lifeblood of banker bonuses, a multibillion-dollar bounty extracted from consumers and businesses every time you swipe that plastic. It's the hidden tax that pays for your idiotic "card rewards" you stupid sheep.
No wonder I go out less and less. Damn depressing out there.
Yep. I do the same. I pay for cash all the time and people tell me how stupid I am. They get points, don't you know? These are the same people that don't understand rent vs. own, the reason people buy gold and silver or why The Fed is the most dangerous company on the planet.
The other day the line was moving slow at lunch. The male twats paying for their slices of pizza were holding up the line. This was in Midtown. I love asking guys like that if it hurt when they had their dick cut off.
Another reason to use cash is so nobody knows what you are doing. I like knowing that there is no way to track where I spend my money. I also stay away from those little reward cards that companies offer. Fuck Big Brother. Fuck him twice.
There are cameras in those Turkish bathhouses you know, no point in paying cash
What? Now I'm fucked. This story won't have a happy ending. Kind of.
"I like knowing that there is no way to track where I spend my money."
Word up!
From marketers, to advertisers, to sales weasels, to Big Sis. Plus the verification of watching our government schooled youngsters being baffled by simple subtraction.
Yes, I know, its a cruel diagnostic to arrive at this conclusion...but so far its infallible...and sad.
"Plus the verification of watching our government schooled youngsters being baffled by simple subtraction."
I like to throw in an extra few cents so that I get an even number of quarters (or dimes) back. Not to be mean, I just don't want to have all the extra coins. The befuddled looks make me feel almost guilty for doing it when they don't have the cash registers that tell them how much to give me in return.
I used to work at a general store when I was a youth. I have tried to tell a few people now days how to "count up" to make change, and it's like I'm speaking in tongues. When the electricity went out where I worked, we got out the hand crank for the older register, and for those who couldn't do it in their head, a sales tax table...
My first job in college was at a grocery store, doing checkout mostly.
Typical sunday, 8 hours straight on a Sweda cash register with the rows of buttons, customer after customer doing their large weekly grocery shopping, figuring sales tax in my head, figuring change in my head.
After 8 hours of that I was mentally burned out. I used to dread that sunday shift.
And I miscounted change just one time, giving a customer $10 too much change. Manager took it out of my paycheck.
I had a summer job in high school at a little hamburger joint at the beach, doing counter work and flipping burgers. The orders were never very big and therefore the dollar amount never very high but I do remember one customer trying to fluster me with a currency switch: "Here, I'll give you a $20, now you owe me the change plus a five, no wait, let me also give you a give you a ten and then you can give me back the original twenty plus..." I think it went on longer that that. Luckily for me, my boss was listening to the whole thing and put a stop to it before I gave anything away. I learned that day to always put the original payment where I could keep my eyes on it while I produced change so there wasn't any question about what they paid, and only put it in the till when the transaction was complete.
I can certainly see how a $10 error could happen, though.
Jena,
This just hit the wires...
"Scores on the critical reading portion of the SAT college entrance exam fell three points to their lowest level on record last year, and combined reading and math scores reached their lowest point since 1995."
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44519433/ns/us_news-life/#.TnD1OtR6KuI
Yet, there is never any talk of mass firing incompetent teachers...its incredible.
nmewn: This article from the LA Times is a couple of years old but it speaks to your point: http://www.latimes.com/news/la-me-teachers3-2009may03,0,3908031,full.story
There is no talk of firing even a reasonable number of incompetent teachers. Would that help the SAT trend? It couldn't hurt.
"Another reason to use cash is so nobody knows what you are doing. I like knowing that there is no way to track where I spend my money. I also stay away from those little reward cards that companies offer. Fuck Big Brother. Fuck him twice."
Well, I like to know where my spending takes me. That using cash would make all the shit heads disappear, well... not thinking so. As a matter of fact, I kind of think that maybe I'm helping to overload their system. They can hurl all sorts of marketing at me, I'm not buying. I'm a fish of no importance: my credit rating sucks because I don't use them. But, I do share your view.
What!!! All those potential air miles.... WASTED!!
I do the same Sequitur. Ever see those signs that say minimums required for using debit etc? It is the threshold at which the store owner loses money on selling something using a card.
Fuck em. Cash for me. Why fuck over the poor Paki at the store risking his life for the GD bankster sitting on the helo deck of his yact?
Air miles?
No way, next time I fly will be in a pine box with "Fed Ex" stamped on it.
pods
Some say it is hard to get a loan from the banks. I think that pertains to standard loan and interest rates. The banks are said to be holding the money for reserves and want to wait and see what the government is going to do etc. Yet you can borrow all the money you want at 15% to 30% interest on a credit card.
Something appears to be wrong with this situation. What on earth could it be?
Why would they lend out money that was borrowed interest-free at 4% to someone who wants to buy a house when they can lend it out on credit cards at 30%, charge fees to the merchants who accept this credit, and wait for people to torch their credit scores so they can charge 10% interest when they decide to extend that home loan?
The only way this could have been better is if he was named 'Uncle Warren'.
I once worked repossessing heavy equipment, mostly in the mining and forestry industries, in rural West Virginia. Those folks knew how to manage debt . . . use your imagination.
I'm drawing a blank.
Maybe banjos were involved. Just a guess.
Some who went in to collect the equipment did not come out, and if they did they were missing teeth, bruised and batttered. Those folks simply refused to give up heavy equipment that they considered to be theirs.
I've argued against this behavior in the past... Why would I want to do business with someone who has proven unable to live up to their contractual obligations? If there's fraud, then fine, go to court and resolve it; but, I'm just not thinking that EVERY contract (loan) is fraudulent.
Yeah, fuck many of the big corporations, but realize this: there are likely several small GOOD companies who supply to them; by stiffing the big ones you're stiffing the small ones.
There are also GOOD banks: I've used credit unions for decades. Why should they be punished if they're holding a loan for equipment that you use to make money?
Moral hazard.
I used to work for a law firm that did replevin work on New Holland manure spreaders. Ewww.
"aes non olet"
Why save? Just buy now and never pay. This is the New American Trend encouraged by none other then The Bernank and ratified by the Former Fed Gumbo Greenspam.
Lets face it, more and more people are "just walking away" not paying their mortgages....not paying their credit card bills and definitely not paying their doctor/hospital bills from what I've read.
The fellow down the block stopped paying his house lease 4 months ago. It took th elandlord another 2 months to throw the guy out. What a hit on his RE investment that everyone brags about being so wonderful...and now a month of lceanup and trying to re-lease....and so on......
This is not 1990 where RE investment was proftiable...and safe.
Sad state of affairs but this is the New Teaching.
I'm torn between laughing and crying from the last two posts,,,,Really!!
I'm currently opening such an account, it's a complete scam.
Let's pause for a moment and imagine a world where the people
actually understand the nature of the money in their
pockets.
Ahhh. Bag of hammers.
I once saw an "educational" movie that was created to sell the idea of using credit. Convenience with responsibility...ahhh those were the days. It must have been made in the early sixties - I saw it in the late 70's when I was a teenager. I thought it was interesting that such a thing was made at all.
Now the conniving bastards just offer credit to teenagers (18-19) and extort money from unwitting parents. "You need to protect their credit scores..."
Ahhh - kinder gentler capitalism...less regulation please.
remember that conversation a reporter had with those people standing in line (i think it in was Detroit) waiting for rent/utility assistance? the lady he interviewed was talking about how they voted for him because he promised them money. the best part was when the reporter asked her where did Obama get that money from she answered something to the affect of -
"I don't know...Obama's stash"
or one of the quotes that stuck with me in the mass hopium high that kicked in upon his election was:
" now we don't have to worry about paying the mortgage"
maybe in the next QE or stimulus program Uncle Benny could take the day off and instead of dropping volumes of monopoly money from his helicopter, the TOTUS could go up instead and just drop stacks of pre-approved credit cards from sea to shining sea. It would make the Banksters happy because it would drive the sheep even further into perpetual debt slavery, and Obama? well, needless to say he would win 2012 in a land slide...
I can't take it much longer. I pray that the military takes over and culls the herd. Eliminate those that have no demonstrable skills. A vicious military state controlled by a Dr. Mengeles would be perfect. Where are you my dear doctor? Forced sterilisations now! Death camps with gas chambers please! Put them in ghettos and use them as nuclear waste dumps. Dear elite: DO SOMETHING!!! Time to purge the useless eaters. IT IS TIME!!!!! DIE SHEEPLE DIE!!!
sad thing is...those people were right.
I'm just looking at the poor bastards on my train and wondering how they survive. They actually work-sad as it is......more coming from BAC.....
Bag of hammers...
This creates the perfect opportunity to quote Buggs Bunny,
"they're as sharp as a bag of wet mince."
That was Foghorn Leghorn and 'wet mice'...just sayin'
Sharp as a bowling ball ...
Instead of Donkey Konging all weekend with my 5 year old, I played all the old 'School House Rock" parts of speech cartoons for him....He freakin' loved them. I constantly ask him questions about what state he is in! What country he is in! Seems to me you don't know anything if you don't know where you are... Geography is a powerful tool to combat ignorance... Really!
Mice
iPhones.
Wild turkeys are smart animals and survive very well in the wild. They are not easily raised in captivity because they
would find a way to escape or fight back aggressively. So to raise turkeys in captivity, they had to be dumbed down
genetically through breeding. Domestic turkeys are happy being fed everyday and can be easily herded. Domestic turkeys
have been known to drown in large numbers during a heavy downpour of rain because they stare up at the sky to see what is hitting them on the head.
I think people have been dumbed down much like turkeys through mass media and political propaganda so that they can be controlled
by TPTB. I also feel that most people are not going to fair well in the future due to the loss of their survival skills.
Yeah but as the Sheeple are so fat they'll make good eatin' at Thanksgiving!
the whole mad max survival skills line cracks me up. if that paradigm materializes, you can kiss your ass goodbye anyway because 442 opertaional nuclear power plants require energy to keep cool. without that, there will be mutliple massive meltdowns and mass extinction, anyway. what's the point in 'surviving' if you just die from a slow, agonizing death of inhaling scores of hot particles a day?
It would take about 93 million tons of plutonium to raise the level of the first 1 foot of air over the earths surface to the LD50 for that stuff. Even if all 442 nuke plants failed miserably (and most western ones would at worst remain contained in their shells), humans would still be around for a long time... It wouldn't be pretty, but we'd still ber here...
Speaking about being dumbed down, the turkey and rain thing is bogus (vhttp://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/turkey.asp). Just thought that people should know that this is hyperbole. But, point taken: not sharp enough to survive out in the real world...
On a lighter note, why is Willard ingesting juice through his nose?
pay attention! Willard doesn't have a nose... ergo, he has no sense.
My god. These people don't have noses! Poor Willard. Bet that coke tastes terrible.
TD, this cartoon is great but when I said your long sentence construction be replaced by a cartoonist to pander to your readerships Goldfish memory capacity i was only half joking!
If you're doing this to take the piss out of my suggestion I'm truly flattered ...very funny too ;)
21st century bitchez.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXRjmyJFzrU
at some point we gotta realize the average knucklehead really doesn't give a flying shit and is more interested in fantasy football than getting assraped financially. the establishment's job is to manage a transition into poverty for the masses, and they have executed said plot to a high level of success.
From New Zealand...11 out of 11 (thanks entirely to ZH and Market Ticker). NEVER watch TV apart from sport. Rarely read papers (except for sport)...hey, I like sport ok? And we have the Rugby World Cup in our country at the moment . GO THE MIGHTY ALL BLACKS!!!!.
PS on the subject of MSM, I like this quote :" those who do not read newspapers are uninformed, those who do are misinformed" Mark Twain
PPS Anyone else finding the stock ,arket a wee bit volatile??
Hell I have some work to do more than 1 of every 4 girls I bang are obese.
HEAVY HANDED AND BLATANT SWILL. ZZZZ
Max'em all out and then just die. Better to burn out than fade away. Or max'em all out go bankrupt and repeat, over and over again. Prudence does not work. BURN MO FO's BURN !!!!
I was like the megayacht guy at one time. It was a bitch getting out of that crap. Now I have a compeltely different mindset. For instance when I washer broke I got on craigslist and got one for $60 and been using it for a year.
Unfortunately there's things I just can't get out of that make life hell right now: property taxes, income taxes, loss of health insurance etc.
It seems getting rid of one problem 2 more pop up. I don't move to an apartment to avoid taxes because my house is paid off.
So going from $40hr to unemployment to nothing to doing side jobs here and there for food and utilities isn't as great as it sounds. But at least I don't give the satisfaction of being owned to some stupid bankrupt bank.
This thing is going down and we are in a complete race to the bottom. It's a double edged sword imo........sure cut all the expenditures on credit but that will just cause more job losses.
Since we have expanded so far on credit I am not sure of this "Betty Homemaker" mentality is going to be the cure. In the long run it would be better but the problem is going to be what happens between now and then. Complete chaos is my presumption. Not to mention whatever mega-solution the gov't comes up with to make things even worse like let's get rich and take over Russia.