• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.


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Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:03 | 1906653 knight99
knight99's picture

this symbol expires december 31st 2011

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:08 | 1906676 LuKOsro
LuKOsro's picture

Lol, you made my day sir! Thank you.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:13 | 1906714 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Delicious cupcakes on me, everyone.

I bought 102,000 of them from some bakery in the UK, for 75% off, and the owner was not happy to see me when I picked them up.

Many business owners saw what went down and have basically said 'Wankin' F**kin' Groupon.'

Dig in.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:17 | 1906729 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

I thought a "groupon" was something you could expect if a bunch of TSA agents was heading for you?

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:21 | 1906750 Thomas
Thomas's picture

No joke. Just noting that all of the recent IPOs have been Fukushima-level toxic (including some of the government-sponsored retreads).

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:58 | 1906887 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

The bastard child of one Darth Blankfein.

Oops. Better become an Obama campaign contributor rather soon.


Wed, 11/23/2011 - 12:16 | 1906955 quebecgold
quebecgold's picture

Groupon is headed to faillure, the reason is simple, it has way to many competitors now. It is very simple to copy the groupon concept.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 12:28 | 1906989 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

"This symbol  expires on November 30, 2011."

Fixed it for ya!

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 14:10 | 1907465 Hook Line and S...
Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

The angle of the chart dangle is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the group-on menage a trois.

Got some uglies in this orgy.

Hook Line and Sphincter ( ! )J

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 15:02 | 1907715 Gidas19
Gidas19's picture

TRIVIA Question: what are the first 4 words in the song "set fire to the rain"??

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 15:16 | 1907794 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

a business model based on customer email spamming remains unviable.


Wed, 11/23/2011 - 17:34 | 1908470 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

"The government sponsored retreads" - You owe me my fresh coffee and a dry clean bill.

Still laughing so Hard the others think Im on Meds. - fuck that is ging to go into my Sarc/ vocab

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 19:14 | 1908812 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Huh, I thought it was a polygamist's female hygienic sanitary product. 

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 13:15 | 1907220 GFKjunior
GFKjunior's picture

What an idiot. Why would she sell any cupcakes at a loss, even at a 50% discount she could of ended up being profitable. Some people these days have no brain.



BTW did the $40 original price tag on a dozen cupcakes suprise anyone else?

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 13:21 | 1907244 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

she had a sugar high !

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:22 | 1906751 walcott
walcott's picture

 90% discount this black friday

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:46 | 1906843 GenX Investor
GenX Investor's picture

We were just kidding on the whole IPO thingy. Sorry bout that.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:24 | 1906764 oogs66
oogs66's picture

maybe goog can buy them when they are half off

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:28 | 1906779 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

"this symbol expires december 31st 2011"

For the benefit of those of us who are not traders, can someone please explain the significance of this?

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:32 | 1906790 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

Like a Coupon haha

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:47 | 1906845 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

I see. Very droll.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 13:02 | 1907176 Blano
Blano's picture

Think bankruptcy.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:05 | 1906655 aldousd
aldousd's picture

This is my definition of "social justice."  


edit: And forget subtle "schadenfreude" I'm giddy watching this thing sink. I'm only sorry that people were able to unload and exit this on day one. Literally makes me sick.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:09 | 1906685 Ethics Gradient
Ethics Gradient's picture

True enough, but I'm not so sure about the social justice tag. Their employees are heading for social security.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:12 | 1906704 A Man without Q...
A Man without Qualities's picture

by "people", I assume you mean the banks that manufactured a supply shortage and were able to force the price higher at the open?

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:29 | 1906781 aldousd
aldousd's picture

Yes. Also lets not forget the principles who were looking for an ejection seat since they realized they had no business model.  Everyone involved, including the flippers and even the retail investors who get their daily dose of CNBC advice, knew it was a quick pump and dump with no value. I'm actually surprised at the zeal with which people pretend to be surprised about this.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:29 | 1906783 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I don't think "Scahdenfreude" carries a particular quanitification of the level of joy in other people's suffering. I think you could be giddy with schadenfreude. I know I often am. 

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:47 | 1906846 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Black Adder +infinity

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 12:02 | 1906896 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Indeed ... never tire of it!

The Bernank gets a maths lesson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K71MckOTt1M

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:49 | 1906857 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

How do you say Shadenfreude in Austrian?  Let's ask POTUS.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 12:04 | 1906906 i-dog
i-dog's picture

He doesn't speak Austrian. But he does speak Double Dutch.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:04 | 1906657 GerritB
GerritB's picture

New offer: Buy 2 shares of GRPN for the price of 1!!

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:06 | 1906669 Mike2756
Mike2756's picture


Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:28 | 1906775 c'mon man
c'mon man's picture

Buy 2 packs of Kools and get a share of GRPN

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:04 | 1906659 redpill
redpill's picture

This is because DSK sold a huge number of shares once he realized the company is actually NOT named Grope On.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:05 | 1906665 Gandalf6900
Gandalf6900's picture


Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:10 | 1906691 Roland99
Roland99's picture

That's Hermain Cain's new startup for after his bid fails next Nov.


Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:56 | 1906875 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture


Wed, 11/23/2011 - 12:05 | 1906913 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Merkel is a Cain fan?!

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 15:46 | 1907938 sockcutter moto...
sockcutter motorforker's picture

if only there was a company named Coerced Cocksucking

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:05 | 1906661 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

How many groupon coupons for groupon stock does it take to get back to the IPO? 

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 14:29 | 1907554 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

negative 5 Billion Groupons (market cap is that much higher than real value)

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:05 | 1906662 youngman
youngman's picture

The people that hyped this ...have made their money...now its time for you to lose yours....this is the IPO market now...insiders win...New York Bankers win....you lose...

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:21 | 1906749 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

And people still keep playing and wonder why their investments are stuck in neutral. Sooner or later, people will stop playing.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 12:40 | 1907073 johnnynaps
johnnynaps's picture

They will be in front of CONgress first thing Monday, so the little investor loses twice.

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 12:43 | 1907088 johnnynaps
johnnynaps's picture

"the Amerikan people need Groupon in these tough times, that is why we are asking for a $30 billion bailout"

Wed, 11/23/2011 - 11:40 | 1906664 Ethics Gradient
Ethics Gradient's picture

$17.40? For like, 1 share? How many shares are there in circulation? 10?

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