• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

iPhone 5 vs iPhone 4S - First Look

Tyler Durden's picture




 

If this is what 0.3-0.6% of US GDP (according to JPMorgan) looks like, then the US is truly in desperate need of not only QE3, but 4, 4S and 5. Also, since it is not on the front, we can only assume the "Samsung Inside!" sticker is on the back.

courtesy of @jennydeluxe

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Wed, 09/12/2012 - 22:07 | 2788063 dirtbagger
dirtbagger's picture

Not it isn't the icons that increase productivity, it is the app that shows vacant parking spaces

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:21 | 2786987 Aziz
Aziz's picture

I see post-Jobs Apple is really pushing forward with the innovation. 5 lines of icons really makes a big difference.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:26 | 2787017 Arthor Bearing
Arthor Bearing's picture

The lack of innovation will do nothing to soften the geekboners

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:30 | 2787036 pods
pods's picture

The new one is on the right, correct?

pods

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:34 | 2787063 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

It's quite counter-intuitive as electronic devices should be getting smaller with each generation

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:50 | 2787141 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Just wait. Once the Boomers get old enough, the iPhone will look like the Jitterbug.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:12 | 2787221 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

No Apple is heading toward the Iron Man heads up electronic audio-visual display

by which time GOOn will look like the suit Stark made in a desert cave and Microshite will look like the clapped out car they used in Animal House to ram the VIP stand with

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 19:31 | 2787790 css1971
css1971's picture

You're sounding hysterical.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:18 | 2787265 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I already heard a Slayer tune as elevator muzak the other day....fuck...

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 21:47 | 2788040 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

SDO,

I just want you to know I gave you ONE of your many up arrows for that comment.

 

Freaking awesome comment.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 05:21 | 2788543 malikai
malikai's picture

I hope it was Angel of Death and you were in a Goldman elevator.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 17:17 | 2787485 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

Yes, but it's not necessarily the case with toys.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:33 | 2787042 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

Pardon me Sir, but us real geeks tend to stay away from i<Insert whichever the hell product from apple you desire> stuff. Not that the devices are not good, quote the contrary; it's their idiotic application and ownership policy that's the deterrent.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:38 | 2787079 malikai
malikai's picture

Indeed.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:28 | 2787308 TIMBEEER
TIMBEEER's picture

iIndeed.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 18:35 | 2787672 Slewburger
Slewburger's picture

iPeaked

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:30 | 2787310 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I second the motion.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 17:01 | 2787440 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

but the new pin will soften their pockets.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 23:29 | 2788255 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

Tell me they didn't fuck with the connector PIN!!!! Say It isn't so ... programmed obselecence. What will I do with all the chargers, Clock radios. car kits and computer connections .... Have I got to Junks the Lots Man?

I FuckedXApple

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:12 | 2787235 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

In ancient times people got burried with tools they'd require in the afterlife. By the look of it, Steve Jobs got burried with an iPhone.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:21 | 2786989 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

iBet you're just jealous.

<To the moon Ben Alice.>

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:40 | 2787075 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I still have my NEC n908, rectangular phones with nothing more than an LCD touchscreen on one side have definitely changed in seven or so years.

Apple is a PR & marketing shop. Secondarily a design shop.  Their "innovation" is hyped myth by Marketing, even going all the way back to the original Apple GUI (which Xerox didn`t have much use for at the time, and couldn`t figure out how to effectively monetize).

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:53 | 2787414 resurger
resurger's picture

a Sure QE tomorrow

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 17:02 | 2787445 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

big WRONG.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:22 | 2786996 Bryan
Bryan's picture

something something something... bitchez!

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:24 | 2787004 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

There's an app for that: iBitchez!

 

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:22 | 2786998 csmith
csmith's picture

WTF is with 1610 e-mails?

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:25 | 2787008 dukeland
dukeland's picture

1610 Un-read emails.. thats productivity for you..

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:27 | 2787021 CPL
CPL's picture

"Dear Sir

 

I am Nick HeavyWithDollarz and I require many assistances on transferring my enromous wealth abroad so I decided to reach out to a stranger on the internet for help.  

 

Many thanks and blessings.

Nick HeavyWithDollarz, CEO, PMP, CIO, President, Hombre el Wapo."

 

That's what 1600 emails says to me.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 17:01 | 2787443 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I wouldnt read them either if they were all in Chinese

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:25 | 2787009 CPL
CPL's picture

Well the new iPhone comes with a complimentary email explaining to the owner that there is email on the phone.  Like a new voice mail box comes with a complimentary voice mail explaining that you have voice mail on a meridian system.

 

Fucking value plus plus plus.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:33 | 2787057 Death and Gravity
Death and Gravity's picture

It is the Zeitgeist:

Info overload. How to carry the bane of your existence, in your pocket.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:37 | 2787073 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

The new one reads the emails for you.

The new one looks too big to me.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:40 | 2787084 knukles
knukles's picture

'Cause it's a turn on...

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:44 | 2787116 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

That device on the left looks like it is owned by someone with the shittiest kind of life i can imagine...egads...

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:25 | 2787012 geewhiz190
geewhiz190's picture

is it Ella ? or is it Memorex?

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:25 | 2787013 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Which one is which? (If that's not too unpatriotic a question to ask.)

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:26 | 2787018 Tinky
Tinky's picture

iCarumba!

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:27 | 2787020 centerline
centerline's picture

iFail

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:27 | 2787024 RobinHood73
RobinHood73's picture

this is the gay-est, weakest most pathetic excuse for a launch i have EVER seen. What a farcical uninsipired, mundane re-HASH. This is no Steve Jobs revolution. This is an MBA running the design team.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:29 | 2787034 centerline
centerline's picture

You just summed up how the world operates now.  MBA's running the show.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:35 | 2787058 knukles
knukles's picture

Haaavad MBA's.
There's a difference.
The guys from Haaavad read all them cases abouts Larry Summers and Mohamed El-Ariane.

 

(I always wonder why that special name has pork in it... Mo-ham-id... must be a Zionist recipe)

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:31 | 2787040 CPL
CPL's picture

I call it Bumblefuck management.  All those poor hedge funds...I'm sure there is an app for dumping shares before the next guy.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:28 | 2787025 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Uhh, yeah kind of underwhelming...

 

http://www.engadget.com/2012/09/12/iphone-5-whats-changed/

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:28 | 2787026 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

What a f**king joke.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:53 | 2787415 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

you've summed up GOOnbubbles desperate strategy to dump Android onto the phone market very succinctly

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:28 | 2787030 laomei
laomei's picture

Time to sit back and watch the idiots throw away the phones they got 6 months ago to pick up this latest piece of shit.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:53 | 2787131 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

In HK theyll go to Mongkok and sell them to a second hand dealer who will then either resell it locally or send it to a handler in Chung King Mansion for forwarding to some other third world market in Africa etc.

HK is a major staging point for second hand phone redistribution. Of course all the phones are unlocked, unlike in the US.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 16:01 | 2787197 viahj
viahj's picture

oooh, great point.  we're 'probably' going to get more gazelle.com girl comercials.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:28 | 2787031 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Might have been a good idea to fill that fifth row full of icons to show the necessity.

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