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Issac Is Officially A Hurricane

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Just because everyone is now a climate expert, here is the latest from the NHC:

RECONNAISSANCE DATA INDICATE ISAAC FINALLY ACHIEVES HURRICANE
STATUS...
...U.S. Warnings in Effect...

URRICANE ISAAC TROPICAL CYCLONE UPDATE
NWS NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL       AL092012
1120 AM CDT TUE AUG 28 2012

...RECONNAISSANCE DATA INDICATE ISAAC FINALLY ACHIEVES HURRICANE STATUS...

REPORTS FROM AN AIR FORCE RESERVE HURRICANE HUNTER AIRCRAFT INDICATE THAT MAXIMUM WINDS ASSOCIATED WITH ISAAC HAVE INCREASED TO 75 MPH...120 KM/H. ON THIS BASIS...ISAAC IS BEING UPGRADED TO A HURRICANE.

SUMMARY OF 1120 AM CDT...1620 UTC...INFORMATION
-----------------------------------------------
LOCATION...28.1N 88.6W
ABOUT 75 MI...115 KM SSE OF THE MOUTH OF THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER
ABOUT 160 MI...250 KM SE OF NEW ORLEANS LOUISIANA
MAXIMUM SUSTAINED WINDS...75 MPH...120 KM/H
PRESENT MOVEMENT...NW OR 310 DEGREES AT 10 MPH...17 KM/H
MINIMUM CENTRAL PRESSURE...975 MB...28.79 INCHES

Keep an eye on Crude

 


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Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:29 | Link to Comment ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

coriolis effect, bitchez!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:30 | Link to Comment THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Gun-grab, round two, bitchez!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:31 | Link to Comment 10mm
10mm's picture

No where near a Katrina outcome.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:33 | Link to Comment Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

That's because The Bernank has made hurricanes irrelevant as an economic issue.  In fact, they are now bullish!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:38 | Link to Comment malikai
malikai's picture

I'm not thinking crude so much as I'm thinking gasoline. There's a lot of refiners that will shut down if that thing heads just a little bit west.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:41 | Link to Comment Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Hide yo' gunz.  

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:44 | Link to Comment malikai
malikai's picture

On second thought, nevermind. This looks like a dud. I didn't realize it was already at NO.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:22 | Link to Comment Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

I heard several refiners were already shut down.  Too many reasons not to.  I haven't heard much on Cushings inventories lately, but with the economy slow I think they are still topped off.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:23 | Link to Comment Stackers
Stackers's picture

Strong CAT 1 storm .... Yawn. My dog farts harder.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:18 | Link to Comment Overfed
Overfed's picture

Better yet, break 'em out!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:42 | Link to Comment azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Has the looting started yet?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:24 | Link to Comment Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

It stopped?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:55 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Damn!  Now the Saints won't be able to use the Superdome again this year.  Got reservations?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:40 | Link to Comment camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

This guy is a slow mover. watch for twice the amount of rain fall then katrina and a larger storm surge up the rivers and levys because of the slow speed and angle of the storm.

 The storm may not be as large and fast like katrina but a slow and steady storm will do more damage!!!!

Remember, it was not the winds that wiped out New Orleans but the WATER!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:43 | Link to Comment 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

So youre saying its not so much about size as it is speed and angle?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:52 | Link to Comment tsx500
tsx500's picture

pleez tell that to my wife

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 16:36 | Link to Comment 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Thanks everybody we will be here all week! Dont forget to tip your waitstaff!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:59 | Link to Comment Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

The angel of the dangle is in direct proportion to the heat of the meat if the rate of ass is constant.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:35 | Link to Comment Agent P
Agent P's picture

Constant?  Everyone knows the rate of ass expands with time.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:58 | Link to Comment Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

A marginally endowed woman asks he husband about what she could do to enlarge her bust.

He suggested that several time a day she fold some toilet paper and rub it between her breasts.

She did this for several months to no avail, and she expressed her dismay to her husband and asked what was wrong?

He said- I dunno, but it sure worked well on your ass!

Crash, Bang, Boom...

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 00:28 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Where does the "square of the hair" fit into yer equation? :>D

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:03 | Link to Comment Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"Remember, it was not the winds that wiped out New Orleans but the WATER!"

Courtesy of the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers (the bureaucrat wing) with assistance from local politicians!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:30 | Link to Comment goldfreak
goldfreak's picture

will Ray Nagin be helping out?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:52 | Link to Comment Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"will Ray Nagin be helping out?"

Nah, "The Noggin" is probably more worried about going to jail for some of the crap he pulled in office.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:12 | Link to Comment Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

Since this storm formed it was nothing but a glorified set of thunderstorms then magically, just before landfall the windspeed reaches 75 mph so it can be called a hurricane (marginally).

How many here realise that when a hurricane is declared there is an automatic 2% deduction on homeowners insurance?

I can easily visualize the insurance companied frantically calling NOAA this AM demanding a hurricane declaration.

As the Church Lady said: How Conveeenient!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:42 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I Learn Something Every Day +1

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:46 | Link to Comment I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

BINGO

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:55 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I was in the Keys when Isaac hit. This is just a set of storms.  Sorry, but do not believe the hype.  Isaac has noteeth.  The survival of New Orleans this time around will be trumped up to the fantastic competence of our Messiah.  "Change"  Anything goes in an election year. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:26 | Link to Comment ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture

What a brilliant photo ops.

President on the ground at the Superdome, handing out ponchos and blankets, while Rs redefine rape.  

 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:44 | Link to Comment sosoome
sosoome's picture

"No where near a Katrina outcome."

The projected path (just west of NO), and the angle of attack, make it potentially much worse than Katrina. Unfavorable atmospheric conditions, however, coupled with improved levees, may prove you correct.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:48 | Link to Comment smiler03
smiler03's picture

When Tyler said "Just because everyone is now a climate expert.."

I think he was being sarcastic. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:33 | Link to Comment Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

More like flat screen TV grab...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:35 | Link to Comment Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

I gotta feeling folks won't be turning 'em over so easily this time.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:57 | Link to Comment Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

BUSH's FAULT!!!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:58 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

That's Pelosi's new name for the San Andreas, right?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:30 | Link to Comment foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Epic media-hype hurricane FAIL.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:49 | Link to Comment machineh
machineh's picture

Oh, well. We've still got a shot at the Blizzard of the Century.

After all, one or two of them come every winter!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:37 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's all good the One has dispatched FEMA to shepherd his sheep.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:53 | Link to Comment tsx500
tsx500's picture

also the One has promised unlimited paralegals to help treat any wounded sheeples

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:01 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

"Thank you, U.S. taxpayer!"

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:30 | Link to Comment Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Yes it is a sad day for the fear pumpers. Turned out to be a dud.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:31 | Link to Comment prains
prains's picture

Fema row boats r a cumin

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:33 | Link to Comment takeaction
takeaction's picture

Watch and remember!!  Wait till you see the part "Strong Persuasion".  HAHAHAHAHA

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7794527529226066500

 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:34 | Link to Comment Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

It doesn't have far to go before it reaches shore - it'll then lose energy and turn back into a strong storm system.  Maybe it will bring some much needed rain back to the heartland.  It's only 75 miles from shore... moving currently at 10mph... not very fast so hopefully it doesn't build up too much energy from this point.  Still, all the anchors at MSNBC, CNN, etc. were just waiting for this to happen so they could get out of Tampa :)

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:36 | Link to Comment LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

HAARPicane Isaac!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:39 | Link to Comment YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

This is all because people spin too much

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:42 | Link to Comment CloseToTheEdge
Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:40 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Drought stricken states welcome the rain....provided to you by Obummer the messiah. Thank goodness he slowed the storm just enough to provide a good rain to those who need it most. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:41 | Link to Comment Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Good for oil and gas I'm sure.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:42 | Link to Comment ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

I guess we might get to find out how much of the 10 billion post-Katrina infrastructure build went to construction fraud.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:13 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Somebody's gotta keep the economy going in the French Quarter.

One lap dance at a time.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:51 | Link to Comment machineh
machineh's picture

Careful that your buxom lap dancer ain't a ladyboy ...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:43 | Link to Comment Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

100 Isaacs can't do the damage one Benjamin has done.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:36 | Link to Comment greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

Unless one Isaac stirs up the gulf floor enough to send bp sludge unto the shores.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:46 | Link to Comment Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Any word on how this will effect crops in the drought areas? I know its too late to in the season to help the corn. Will it be too much rain for the soybeans? Will it help the hay crop any? If anyone has answers I would appreciate a response.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:34 | Link to Comment Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Good link. Thanks!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Spot corn is down sharply last few days.  The boyz know...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:58 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea Im sure a flood is going to help a whole summer of drought. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:58 | Link to Comment adr
adr's picture

Too much rain will cause massive mudflows as the topsoil doesn't have too much integrity. Perhaps damaging crops even more. Heavy rains are actually more detrimental to crops than drought.

I'm hoping the rains devestate even more corporate owned farmland. There will be nothing better than seeing speculators get stuck with billions of dollars worth of contracts that can't possibly be filled.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:44 | Link to Comment ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Mr. Bernanke, print more dirt!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:46 | Link to Comment Brazillionaire
Brazillionaire's picture

Last time, trolling down Bourbon Street, snagged a few nice sea basses! This time, fly fishing in the French Quarter, if I can book a flight in. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:26 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Have a mint julep at Pat O'Brien's for me, K?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:50 | Link to Comment Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Houston WILL NOT be asking for the refugees this time. A severe and painful lesson was learned from the last one.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:18 | Link to Comment CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

They're ready for it this time, Ima.  They've got one-way bus trips planned toward those nice 1" bunks all laid out at the FEMA camps for the refugees, and an all-you-can-eat MRE buffet.  Book yours now, they're going fast!  Complimentary bedbugs provided upon request.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:51 | Link to Comment Dorelei
Dorelei's picture

Cant wait until those useless government agencies broadcasting negative news will be shutdown to reduce the deficit  ...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:53 | Link to Comment Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Barrack Obama hates black people!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Jerry Maguire will pay my gas & mortgage...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:13 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

i look forward to Mike Myers and Kanye West partnering back up......uncomfortable TV is the best TV

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 18:14 | Link to Comment Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"Barrack Obama hates black people!"

Barack Obama hates white people too!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:54 | Link to Comment adr
adr's picture

and gas at my local station is now $4.29, up from $3.69 at 7AM this morning.

FANFREAKINTASTIC!!!!!!

Come on if you are going to gouge, go for the jugular. Make it $5.49 and hit a record. Fuck make it $10 a gallon, nothing is stopping you. Punish the people dumb enough to think a mild hurricane wouldn't cause gas to jump $.50 just because.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Man oh man let the good times roll.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:52 | Link to Comment machineh
machineh's picture

More like 'let the good times troll' ain't it?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:57 | Link to Comment tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Everyone knows the wind... oil... and stuff like that is expensive.

Right...?

AMIRIGHT!?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:58 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

They pay about $10/gallon in Central Europe.  Just saying.  

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 16:47 | Link to Comment Likstane
Likstane's picture

They pay about $.38/gallon in Saudi.  Just as relevant.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

"We are sad to report that people who evacuated their homes came back only to realize they'd been robbed!"

Said all news anchors, everywhere -- in about 24 hours.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:58 | Link to Comment tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Douche anchor 1: "One woman, an elderly woman in fact, was held at GUN POINT while men robbed her blind in her mobile home during the hurricane"

Douche anchor 2: "My god Douch anchor 1, this is why we must get these guns under control!"

-------------

Criminal: "Yes, I will pay attention to your regulations and laws. I promise. That's why I do illegal shit, so that I can follow the rules."

 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:54 | Link to Comment 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

+1

"Where am I going to find a firearm, now that they are illegal?" -- No One, Ever

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:38 | Link to Comment dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

In the near future, you can print your own guns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rre3WtaMpQM

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Upgraded to a Cat 1 hurricane! OMFG!! PANIC!!!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:02 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

someone must have turned the haarp dial down because if bush was in office this would be a cat 5 for sure

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:03 | Link to Comment No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

OMG it's been rehypothecated. But still, must be bullish for green energy?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:53 | Link to Comment GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

How effective are windmills in hurricane conditions? They must spin really fast! Solar power kind of takes a hit with all the cloud cover, however.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 00:37 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I realize yer just tryin' ta be funny, but modern windmills try to regulate their speed and keep the generation of current constant.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:11 | Link to Comment CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

Tropical Storm Issac: We Will Never Forget

https://p.twimg.com/A1UjxNXCYAEay2s.jpg:large

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:20 | Link to Comment Cow
Cow's picture

We will never forget this victim, either

http://www.flickr.com/photos/39841771@N00/40262221

 

 

 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:16 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Bush was an embarrassment and a disaster,but wait until you hear the media whores praising Obama for his preparedness and handling of this storm. I hope you have your puke buckets ready because it's coming.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:24 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Thanks.

I'll keep the TV off. I don't handle vomit well.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:00 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Then the Messiah will releaseth the SPR and all will be well.   

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:55 | Link to Comment GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Last election he made a comment about the waters no longer rising after his incarnation. Turning away a minor hurricane should be child's play for this child.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:51 | Link to Comment Agent P
Agent P's picture

Well, at least he can recycle the phrase, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!" when congratulating himself.

OMG...did I just say that?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:16 | Link to Comment UGrev
UGrev's picture

URRICANE ISAAC TROPICAL CYCLONE UPDATE
NWS NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL       AL092012
1120 AM CDT TUE AUG 28 2012

 

Urricane. Is that a whirling, swirling storm of piss? 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:18 | Link to Comment surf0766
surf0766's picture

Long cardboard and Sharpies

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:24 | Link to Comment marathonman
marathonman's picture

Overnight 6-3-2-1 crack spreads jumped from the $10/bbl range to $22/bbl range.  Hurricanes bullish for refineries.  Fires and explosions in CA and Venezuela very bullish.  Top off the tanks.  +$4/gallon directly ahead. 

$4 gas didn't work so well for Bush.  It won't work so well for Obumbler either.  Good riddance.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:29 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Relief-sale after hurricane-fizzle denouement. Sorry.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:00 | Link to Comment GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

My neighbor topped off his Volt. Three months ago. Come on, everybody, buy one and put those poor union workers back to work.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:21 | Link to Comment CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

He'd have topped it off last month, too, if only it hadn't exploded in his driveway.

Buy union! Go team!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:25 | Link to Comment Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

Triple levered ETF RAPE & LOOTING.

Obama is such a god though im sure he will singlehandedly stop that hurricane.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:26 | Link to Comment TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

The first models showed ISSAC making landfall on my town! I feel for the people residing wherever it lands, but I sure am pleased it's not going to be here! Still raining with some wind though.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:33 | Link to Comment Sutton
Sutton's picture

With the death of the Mississippi, New Orleans is no longer needed.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:57 | Link to Comment ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

do not fear bernanke has rolls of the best linen tp to mop up after the soaking.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 18:07 | Link to Comment jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

I wish the Ben or totus would visit the coast this time......i could do everyone a favor and hold them under until the kicking stopped....on another note, I'm off work today and tomorrow for Issac (yay) and all i've seen so far with that first big 'feeder band' passing over was some hard wind and horizontal rain....for about 5 minutes, which is like a normal summer thunderstorm for this area. I have my bean bag dusted off, a pail of soda and a big bag of cheetos ready and i'm about to watch some gay midget porn for the next 36 hours. cheers.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 19:16 | Link to Comment GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Gimmie a fuckin break.  All media drama, sensationalism and HYPE.

 

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