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Issac Is Officially A Hurricane

Tyler Durden's picture


Just because everyone is now a climate expert, here is the latest from the NHC:

...U.S. Warnings in Effect...

1120 AM CDT TUE AUG 28 2012



LOCATION...28.1N 88.6W

Keep an eye on Crude


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Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:29 | 2743850 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

coriolis effect, bitchez!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:30 | 2743857 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Gun-grab, round two, bitchez!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:31 | 2743870 10mm
10mm's picture

No where near a Katrina outcome.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:33 | 2743878 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

That's because The Bernank has made hurricanes irrelevant as an economic issue.  In fact, they are now bullish!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:38 | 2743908 malikai
malikai's picture

I'm not thinking crude so much as I'm thinking gasoline. There's a lot of refiners that will shut down if that thing heads just a little bit west.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:41 | 2743921 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Hide yo' gunz.  

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:44 | 2743940 malikai
malikai's picture

On second thought, nevermind. This looks like a dud. I didn't realize it was already at NO.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:22 | 2744076 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

I heard several refiners were already shut down.  Too many reasons not to.  I haven't heard much on Cushings inventories lately, but with the economy slow I think they are still topped off.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:23 | 2744446 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Strong CAT 1 storm .... Yawn. My dog farts harder.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:18 | 2744265 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Better yet, break 'em out!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:42 | 2743927 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Has the looting started yet?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:24 | 2744082 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

It stopped?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:55 | 2744203 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Damn!  Now the Saints won't be able to use the Superdome again this year.  Got reservations?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:40 | 2743893 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

This guy is a slow mover. watch for twice the amount of rain fall then katrina and a larger storm surge up the rivers and levys because of the slow speed and angle of the storm.

 The storm may not be as large and fast like katrina but a slow and steady storm will do more damage!!!!

Remember, it was not the winds that wiped out New Orleans but the WATER!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:43 | 2743939 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

So youre saying its not so much about size as it is speed and angle?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:52 | 2743970 tsx500
tsx500's picture

pleez tell that to my wife

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 16:36 | 2744577 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Thanks everybody we will be here all week! Dont forget to tip your waitstaff!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:59 | 2744006 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

The angel of the dangle is in direct proportion to the heat of the meat if the rate of ass is constant.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:35 | 2744310 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Constant?  Everyone knows the rate of ass expands with time.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:58 | 2744380 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

A marginally endowed woman asks he husband about what she could do to enlarge her bust.

He suggested that several time a day she fold some toilet paper and rub it between her breasts.

She did this for several months to no avail, and she expressed her dismay to her husband and asked what was wrong?

He said- I dunno, but it sure worked well on your ass!

Crash, Bang, Boom...

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 00:28 | 2745697 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Where does the "square of the hair" fit into yer equation? :>D

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:03 | 2744019 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"Remember, it was not the winds that wiped out New Orleans but the WATER!"

Courtesy of the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers (the bureaucrat wing) with assistance from local politicians!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:30 | 2744110 goldfreak
goldfreak's picture

will Ray Nagin be helping out?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:52 | 2744360 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"will Ray Nagin be helping out?"

Nah, "The Noggin" is probably more worried about going to jail for some of the crap he pulled in office.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:12 | 2744045 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

Since this storm formed it was nothing but a glorified set of thunderstorms then magically, just before landfall the windspeed reaches 75 mph so it can be called a hurricane (marginally).

How many here realise that when a hurricane is declared there is an automatic 2% deduction on homeowners insurance?

I can easily visualize the insurance companied frantically calling NOAA this AM demanding a hurricane declaration.

As the Church Lady said: How Conveeenient!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:42 | 2744158 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I Learn Something Every Day +1

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:46 | 2744174 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture


Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:55 | 2744202 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I was in the Keys when Isaac hit. This is just a set of storms.  Sorry, but do not believe the hype.  Isaac has noteeth.  The survival of New Orleans this time around will be trumped up to the fantastic competence of our Messiah.  "Change"  Anything goes in an election year. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:26 | 2744452 ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture

What a brilliant photo ops.

President on the ground at the Superdome, handing out ponchos and blankets, while Rs redefine rape.  


Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:44 | 2743937 sosoome
sosoome's picture

"No where near a Katrina outcome."

The projected path (just west of NO), and the angle of attack, make it potentially much worse than Katrina. Unfavorable atmospheric conditions, however, coupled with improved levees, may prove you correct.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:48 | 2744516 smiler03
smiler03's picture

When Tyler said "Just because everyone is now a climate expert.."

I think he was being sarcastic. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:33 | 2743875 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

More like flat screen TV grab...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:35 | 2743886 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

I gotta feeling folks won't be turning 'em over so easily this time.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:57 | 2743999 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture


Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:58 | 2744215 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

That's Pelosi's new name for the San Andreas, right?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:30 | 2743856 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Epic media-hype hurricane FAIL.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:49 | 2744187 machineh
machineh's picture

Oh, well. We've still got a shot at the Blizzard of the Century.

After all, one or two of them come every winter!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:37 | 2743861 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's all good the One has dispatched FEMA to shepherd his sheep.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:53 | 2743976 tsx500
tsx500's picture

also the One has promised unlimited paralegals to help treat any wounded sheeples

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:01 | 2744223 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

"Thank you, U.S. taxpayer!"

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:30 | 2743862 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Yes it is a sad day for the fear pumpers. Turned out to be a dud.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:31 | 2743867 prains
prains's picture

Fema row boats r a cumin

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:33 | 2743869 takeaction
takeaction's picture

Watch and remember!!  Wait till you see the part "Strong Persuasion".  HAHAHAHAHA


Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:34 | 2743882 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

It doesn't have far to go before it reaches shore - it'll then lose energy and turn back into a strong storm system.  Maybe it will bring some much needed rain back to the heartland.  It's only 75 miles from shore... moving currently at 10mph... not very fast so hopefully it doesn't build up too much energy from this point.  Still, all the anchors at MSNBC, CNN, etc. were just waiting for this to happen so they could get out of Tampa :)

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:36 | 2743895 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

HAARPicane Isaac!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:39 | 2743910 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

This is all because people spin too much

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:42 | 2743928 CloseToTheEdge
Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:40 | 2743914 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Drought stricken states welcome the rain....provided to you by Obummer the messiah. Thank goodness he slowed the storm just enough to provide a good rain to those who need it most. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:41 | 2743919 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Good for oil and gas I'm sure.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:42 | 2743929 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

I guess we might get to find out how much of the 10 billion post-Katrina infrastructure build went to construction fraud.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:13 | 2744046 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Somebody's gotta keep the economy going in the French Quarter.

One lap dance at a time.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:51 | 2744190 machineh
machineh's picture

Careful that your buxom lap dancer ain't a ladyboy ...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:43 | 2743934 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

100 Isaacs can't do the damage one Benjamin has done.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:36 | 2744122 greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

Unless one Isaac stirs up the gulf floor enough to send bp sludge unto the shores.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:46 | 2743948 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Any word on how this will effect crops in the drought areas? I know its too late to in the season to help the corn. Will it be too much rain for the soybeans? Will it help the hay crop any? If anyone has answers I would appreciate a response.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:34 | 2744121 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Good link. Thanks!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | 2743992 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Spot corn is down sharply last few days.  The boyz know...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:58 | 2744003 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea Im sure a flood is going to help a whole summer of drought. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:58 | 2744005 adr
adr's picture

Too much rain will cause massive mudflows as the topsoil doesn't have too much integrity. Perhaps damaging crops even more. Heavy rains are actually more detrimental to crops than drought.

I'm hoping the rains devestate even more corporate owned farmland. There will be nothing better than seeing speculators get stuck with billions of dollars worth of contracts that can't possibly be filled.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:44 | 2744165 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Mr. Bernanke, print more dirt!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:46 | 2743954 Brazillionaire
Brazillionaire's picture

Last time, trolling down Bourbon Street, snagged a few nice sea basses! This time, fly fishing in the French Quarter, if I can book a flight in. 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:26 | 2744089 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Have a mint julep at Pat O'Brien's for me, K?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:50 | 2743965 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Houston WILL NOT be asking for the refugees this time. A severe and painful lesson was learned from the last one.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:18 | 2744266 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

They're ready for it this time, Ima.  They've got one-way bus trips planned toward those nice 1" bunks all laid out at the FEMA camps for the refugees, and an all-you-can-eat MRE buffet.  Book yours now, they're going fast!  Complimentary bedbugs provided upon request.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:51 | 2743968 Dorelei
Dorelei's picture

Cant wait until those useless government agencies broadcasting negative news will be shutdown to reduce the deficit  ...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:53 | 2743975 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Barrack Obama hates black people!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | 2743988 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Jerry Maguire will pay my gas & mortgage...

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:13 | 2744050 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

i look forward to Mike Myers and Kanye West partnering back up......uncomfortable TV is the best TV

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 18:14 | 2744767 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"Barrack Obama hates black people!"

Barack Obama hates white people too!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:54 | 2743982 adr
adr's picture

and gas at my local station is now $4.29, up from $3.69 at 7AM this morning.


Come on if you are going to gouge, go for the jugular. Make it $5.49 and hit a record. Fuck make it $10 a gallon, nothing is stopping you. Punish the people dumb enough to think a mild hurricane wouldn't cause gas to jump $.50 just because.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | 2743991 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Man oh man let the good times roll.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:52 | 2744195 machineh
machineh's picture

More like 'let the good times troll' ain't it?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:57 | 2743998 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Everyone knows the wind... oil... and stuff like that is expensive.



Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:58 | 2744216 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

They pay about $10/gallon in Central Europe.  Just saying.  

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 16:47 | 2744594 Likstane
Likstane's picture

They pay about $.38/gallon in Saudi.  Just as relevant.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | 2743990 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

"We are sad to report that people who evacuated their homes came back only to realize they'd been robbed!"

Said all news anchors, everywhere -- in about 24 hours.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:58 | 2744004 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Douche anchor 1: "One woman, an elderly woman in fact, was held at GUN POINT while men robbed her blind in her mobile home during the hurricane"

Douche anchor 2: "My god Douch anchor 1, this is why we must get these guns under control!"


Criminal: "Yes, I will pay attention to your regulations and laws. I promise. That's why I do illegal shit, so that I can follow the rules."


Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:54 | 2744201 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture


"Where am I going to find a firearm, now that they are illegal?" -- No One, Ever

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2744480 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

In the near future, you can print your own guns.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 12:56 | 2743994 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Upgraded to a Cat 1 hurricane! OMFG!! PANIC!!!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:02 | 2744014 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

someone must have turned the haarp dial down because if bush was in office this would be a cat 5 for sure

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:03 | 2744016 No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

OMG it's been rehypothecated. But still, must be bullish for green energy?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:53 | 2744198 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

How effective are windmills in hurricane conditions? They must spin really fast! Solar power kind of takes a hit with all the cloud cover, however.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 00:37 | 2745708 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I realize yer just tryin' ta be funny, but modern windmills try to regulate their speed and keep the generation of current constant.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:11 | 2744039 CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

Tropical Storm Issac: We Will Never Forget

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:20 | 2744070 Cow
Cow's picture

We will never forget this victim, either




Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:16 | 2744048 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Bush was an embarrassment and a disaster,but wait until you hear the media whores praising Obama for his preparedness and handling of this storm. I hope you have your puke buckets ready because it's coming.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:24 | 2744084 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture


I'll keep the TV off. I don't handle vomit well.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:00 | 2744221 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Then the Messiah will releaseth the SPR and all will be well.   

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:55 | 2744204 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Last election he made a comment about the waters no longer rising after his incarnation. Turning away a minor hurricane should be child's play for this child.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:51 | 2744359 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Well, at least he can recycle the phrase, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!" when congratulating himself.

OMG...did I just say that?

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:16 | 2744055 UGrev
UGrev's picture

1120 AM CDT TUE AUG 28 2012


Urricane. Is that a whirling, swirling storm of piss? 

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:18 | 2744066 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Long cardboard and Sharpies

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:24 | 2744086 marathonman
marathonman's picture

Overnight 6-3-2-1 crack spreads jumped from the $10/bbl range to $22/bbl range.  Hurricanes bullish for refineries.  Fires and explosions in CA and Venezuela very bullish.  Top off the tanks.  +$4/gallon directly ahead. 

$4 gas didn't work so well for Bush.  It won't work so well for Obumbler either.  Good riddance.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:29 | 2744107 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Relief-sale after hurricane-fizzle denouement. Sorry.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:00 | 2744218 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

My neighbor topped off his Volt. Three months ago. Come on, everybody, buy one and put those poor union workers back to work.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:21 | 2744273 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

He'd have topped it off last month, too, if only it hadn't exploded in his driveway.

Buy union! Go team!

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:25 | 2744087 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

Triple levered ETF RAPE & LOOTING.

Obama is such a god though im sure he will singlehandedly stop that hurricane.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:26 | 2744090 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

The first models showed ISSAC making landfall on my town! I feel for the people residing wherever it lands, but I sure am pleased it's not going to be here! Still raining with some wind though.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 13:33 | 2744118 Sutton
Sutton's picture

With the death of the Mississippi, New Orleans is no longer needed.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 14:57 | 2744377 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

do not fear bernanke has rolls of the best linen tp to mop up after the soaking.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 18:07 | 2744751 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

I wish the Ben or totus would visit the coast this time......i could do everyone a favor and hold them under until the kicking stopped....on another note, I'm off work today and tomorrow for Issac (yay) and all i've seen so far with that first big 'feeder band' passing over was some hard wind and horizontal rain....for about 5 minutes, which is like a normal summer thunderstorm for this area. I have my bean bag dusted off, a pail of soda and a big bag of cheetos ready and i'm about to watch some gay midget porn for the next 36 hours. cheers.

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 19:16 | 2744985 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Gimmie a fuckin break.  All media drama, sensationalism and HYPE.


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