Is It Time For Jefferies CEO Dick Handler To Put His Money Where His Mouth Is And Buy Jefferies Stock?

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Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:32 | 1887482 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

He he, he said, "Dick Handler."

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:33 | 1887496 toxic8
toxic8's picture

LOL. Certified douchebag name.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:35 | 1887507 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Maybe he will hire the attorney, Jack Knouff?

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:36 | 1887521 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Major PM shakedown.
Is JPig going MF Global? That would explain the paper PM selling frenzy.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:41 | 1887556 kito
kito's picture

ahmeexnal, seems more like european fear....of no printing........


Thu, 11/17/2011 - 15:43 | 1888299 Hard1
Hard1's picture

Dick Handler is putting his mouth where his name is

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 18:33 | 1889367 JoeSexPack
JoeSexPack's picture

Brother of producer Dick Wolf

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:45 | 1887581 redpill
redpill's picture

There once was a prick named Dick

His portfolio would make anyone sick

He pretends nothing's wrong

During the company's swan song

Golden parachutes make him not care a lick

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 23:21 | 1890149 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

one of the best porn names in the Industry....

what a motley group of motherfuckers we have for oligarchs

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 15:01 | 1888026 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture


Jack Meoff & Associates.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:58 | 1887545 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Somewhere at a Manhattan fine dining establishment (geared towards the douchebaggery crowd of financial engineers that give us fine products such as unicorn valuations, toxic sludge MBS bundles with investment grade ratings, electricity prices out west  based on mark-to-methamphetamine&schizophrenia models & the very best job creation and GDP growing product of all time; hundreds of trillions in derivative bets backstopped by an unknowing taxpayer public):

-And scene-

Paging Dick Handler

Paging Dick Handler

Your wife is on the courtesy phone


Dick Handler remains seated and tries to act all inconspicuous, literally praying that no one who knows him can see him, as he sinks lower into his chair, involuntarily turns beet red at the table where he has just ordered an appetizer and drink, and continues ignoring the page.

At another table in the very same establishment, an example of said aforementioned douchebaggery returns to his table after making a trip to the bathroom & loudly announces: "Hey, I just came across Dick Handler in the restroom."

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 15:06 | 1888047 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture




I wonder if one glanced does he take a wide stance?

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:34 | 1887500 pupton
pupton's picture

Damn you "beat" me to it!  Nice name Dick. 

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:35 | 1887511 AngryGerman
AngryGerman's picture

must have been a love child

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 14:10 | 1887768 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

nope, that's a hate child.  would anyone that loves their child call him that?

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 14:21 | 1887819 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

"Boy named Sue" syndrome.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:54 | 1887671 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Classic...someone HAD to say it...good job.


Truly beavis adn butthead....good shit.



Thu, 11/17/2011 - 21:13 | 1889863 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

He won't because he knows that Jefferies is on the chopping block.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:32 | 1887488 DogSlime
DogSlime's picture

Oh My God!

He's really called "Dick Handler"???

How appropriate.

It's a fucking pantomime.  I'm increasingly of the opinion that reality is a simulation and the operator is just trying to see how far it can be pushed before it becomes obvious to everyone.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:34 | 1887505 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

"Thanks Mom and Dad, you fucking assholes"

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 14:11 | 1887773 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

that's where Daddy thought he was when Dick was created.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:42 | 1887560 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

He should run for president, at least then we'd know what we were getting

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:33 | 1887492 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

These effin vodka ads are out of control.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:36 | 1887516 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

You need to stop buying booze online and they'll go away. You alcoholic you...

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:36 | 1887519 pupton
pupton's picture

Put some Effen vodka in your mouth!  I need a effen Dick Handler tonight!

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:33 | 1887493 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

Dick Handler hoping for a happy ending.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 15:08 | 1888057 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



Or an end that goes away happy.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:35 | 1887512 SHEEPFUKKER

If "Handy Dick" is talking out of his ass,  then, yeah, I say he put his money where his mouth is.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:36 | 1887515 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

“Some bond investors sell first and ask questions later."

Well, at least they are selling first and not shooting first.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:38 | 1887517 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

Maybe Bruce Berkowitz should pitch in and help too. He'll be able to kill 2 birds with 1 stone. LMAO!

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:36 | 1887520 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Sorry, a little OT, but is it just me or do things feel a little flash crashy this afternoon?


Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:38 | 1887534 pupton
pupton's picture

I dunno, but WTF is up with PMs today???

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:40 | 1887550 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Looks like they're leading the way down...

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:45 | 1887582 mrgneiss
mrgneiss's picture


Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:37 | 1887524 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Gold investors are shooting first, asking questions later

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:41 | 1887558 fuu
fuu's picture

Along with everyone else.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:39 | 1887526 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

First thing if you're named "Dick Handler" is to deed poll it to "John Thomas"

Or "John Handcock".

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:43 | 1887528 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

"Debt the only thing still made in America"

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:44 | 1887535 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Some bond investors sell first and ask questions later."

Yep, how do you insure capital that you have invested in bonds when CDS will not pay out ? You sell the bond.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:38 | 1887538 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

VXX just went vertical, along with TLT and UUP

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:40 | 1887552 SMG
SMG's picture

ROBO I own vxx and the last time you mentioned it it went down 20 dollars. Don't jinx me, darn it.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:45 | 1887585 lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

congratulations 'tard. your brilliant analysis last night was correct when you said that stocks and gold were gonna up unless they go down.

robottrader: lowering the bar ever day through exaggeration and cliche.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 14:07 | 1887754 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

A tautology is a statement that is true in all contexts, hence meaningless.

You hear them a lot.

The stock market should go up from here unless we see a correction.

Sometimes tautologies are hard to spot.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 14:15 | 1887790 lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

exactly. you said it better than me.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:41 | 1887554 jdelano
jdelano's picture

wtf happening?  Why I am suddenly making money?

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:41 | 1887557 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

We'll file this little ditty under the "fool me once.." category.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:42 | 1887563 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Buying $JEF at .01.

So pretty.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:43 | 1887564 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

What rumor is causing the market to crash?

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:47 | 1887610 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Reality causes the market to crash, rumors ramp it up.

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 13:43 | 1887566 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

I agree, Money Handler should definitely put his Dick where his mouth is!

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