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It's Here, The Kindle Paperweight... Er Paperwhite

Tyler Durden's picture


Please sit down before reading the stunning list of new features that Amazon has unveiled this morning for the new Kindle Paperwhite:- (ready)...

  • Front-Lit
  • Changeable Fonts
  • Better Resolution
  • Better Battery

Compelling stuff! No happy-ending? No buying of Spanish bonds, and (pseudo) sterilized money printing? No coffee-making attachment? Odd, it seems the news is being sold as AMZN slides from intraday highs...



What features were you expecting?

Finally, via the LA Times, here is one reason why soon not even Amazon will be able to offset its negative profit margins with volume: California Sales Tax which is coming to a virtual Amazon store near you in 9 days.

With set to begin collecting sales taxes on California purchases Sept. 15, many tech-savvy consumers are cramming in some last-minute tax-free shopping.


Chris Cheng doesn't need 40 hand warmers right now, but the longtime customer is loading up on them anyway.


With the Internet retail giant set to begin collecting sales taxes on California purchases Sept. 15, the San Francisco resident is among many tech-savvy consumers trying to cram in some last-minute tax-free shopping.


Depending on where they live, Californians pay 7.25% to 9.75% in sales taxes, so the savings are substantial — especially on big-ticket items such as electronics. But bargain hunters are also stocking up on inexpensive goods such as food, DVDs and carpet cleaner.


"I've ordered nine things in the last two weeks," said Cheng, 32, whose purchases include a hands-free roaming camera for $199.99, five pounds of protein powder for $53.99 and exercise resistance bands for $26.99. "Any time you can save money, that's a good thing."


He's not the only one looking for a deal.


Abdel Ibrahim, a tech entrepreneur and trader from San Diego, said he would buy a MacBook Air and MacBook Pro with retina display on Amazon before the cutoff, a move that will save him about $270 in sales taxes.


"It makes a huge difference," the 30-year-old said. "If there's anything else I can think of where I can fork up some money and save a couple hundred bucks, I probably will."


Amazon won't say whether sales to California customers have spiked in recent weeks. But judging from comments on social media sites and reportedly increased buying activity in other states before similar sales tax laws went into effect, many shoppers see these final days as an excuse to shop freely


It remains to be seen how shoppers will respond once the sales tax law kicks in. Many said Amazon's convenience still couldn't be beat. Others said they'd be more inclined to shop at local stores and get their purchases right away.


Self-professed "Amazon junkie" Lauren Anderson, 27, isn't taking any chances. The Burbank resident has been splurging on Amazon purchases in recent weeks, buying a coffee maker, video games, cable connectors and a phone charger. She might also buy a laptop.


"When I first read about the fact that Amazon was going to have to start collecting taxes in September, I seriously thought I was having a bad dream," she said. "My mailman probably thinks I've lost my mind, all these packages coming and coming."

One can only hope Lauren did not use her EBT card to pay for all those purchases...

Read on here.


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Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:12 | 2768939 Aziz
Aziz's picture

I can't eat this.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:16 | 2768953 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

if anyone can eat this, it's you Aziz!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:33 | 2769019 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Nice! sign me up for 2 then. S&P's up so its all good!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:45 | 2769062 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

If the Kindle comes with:

1. A virtual dog whistle

2. A pick-up line generator

3. And an app that tells you if any of your relatives are dinosaurs

ONLY THEN, I will buy one.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:29 | 2769007 ACP
ACP's picture

Don't forget what he said next..."Are you...German?"

That's it, I'm calling a top for the market!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:26 | 2768994 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


fuck that try selling it as a first edition

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:27 | 2769003 Doublescythe
Doublescythe's picture

HAHA what a piece of shit.

Buying Apple with both fucking hands at this point.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:47 | 2769215 TPTB
TPTB's picture

If you already own a Kindle you won't want to miss out on this new updated edition, because now the screen comes complete with a lightbulb.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:49 | 2769065 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

just ripped $3 to 252.6, should have BTFD muppetz!!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:53 | 2769077 duo
duo's picture

AMZN got a huge sales boost in June before the Texas sales tax fiasco began.  This is a way to ramp the top line and cash in options.  Look for c rappy comps a year from now.  You heard it here first.

I, too, bought $1000 worth of stuff I didn't need to avoid sales tax back in June.  The UPS delivery guy said it was a madhouse.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:52 | 2769073 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Oh, so it's the same as my three year old iphone 3gs 16g.

Except my iphone will hook up to the internet without a wifi or router.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:36 | 2769188 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

as a bonus, the iPhone sometimes works as a phone.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 17:27 | 2769553 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Holy shit i forgot all about that. Thanks for the reminder.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:53 | 2769422 hannah
hannah's picture

so you have to also buy the kindle thru att and pay a huge monthly fee...?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 17:04 | 2769472 chunga
chunga's picture

Nope, the only thing you have to buy from them is the Kindle.

If you have wi-fi you can download thousands of books (and keep them, give to friends, whatever) from

Tons and tons of books for free. Good books.

I hate being a "consumer" as much as the next guy...but I bet just about everyone on ZH has a computer of some sort LOL.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 17:14 | 2769507 hannah
hannah's picture

chunga - i was being facetious. stoploss's stating that the kindle is old tech just shows how stupid the apple fanboi's are.....

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 17:31 | 2769569 chunga
chunga's picture

ok, I'm not trying to convince anyone to buy anything or throw away paper books or ipads.

We love the Kindle Fire and it has paid for itself already with all the free books we have on it. That has to frost AMZN's ass 'cuz they want to sell you their content.

(including the donation to gutenberg)


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:54 | 2769078 duo
duo's picture

you didn't eat that, the government did.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 17:48 | 2769607 zanez
zanez's picture

No free Spiderman towel?


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:13 | 2768940 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

P/E of 305?  What's not to like? 

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:27 | 2769001 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

This is the cheapest market in American history.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 20:54 | 2770078 spdrdr
spdrdr's picture

You can say that again!


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:27 | 2769002 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

This is the cheapest market in American history.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:47 | 2769063 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Not an owner...definitely a buyer.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:51 | 2769069 gjp
gjp's picture

And just like every earnings miss (and they missed sales last quarter too, all you 'they're-investing-for-future-growth' types) stock briefly drops and then heads for the stratosphere.  Didn't you hear, Mario is buying unlimited Eurobonds!  Buy Amazon!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:13 | 2768941 RacerX
RacerX's picture

Will it read the books for me?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:26 | 2768996 centerline
centerline's picture

+1.  I am waiting for the osmosis attachment.  Probably will give me a brain tumor though.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:27 | 2768999 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


My A500 will, and in a hot British accent.

Plus the little woman can't complain.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:31 | 2769004 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

scrapped post

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:13 | 2768944 larz
larz's picture

I was hoping for each page printed on its own sheet of paper.


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:18 | 2768959 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Paper? That's a barbarous relic.

Example........the dollar bill.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:21 | 2768973 Patriot Eke
Patriot Eke's picture

Bills are cloth, not paper, though.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:24 | 2768986 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Now that would make them much more valuable tasty. :>)

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:34 | 2769021 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

...and much easier to sew into garmets ala Hungarian druids.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:26 | 2768991 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

That's even more barbaric, paper was invented after cloth.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:29 | 2769005 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


One of the first things men discovered after fire was lighting farts.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:29 | 2769006 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

FRNs are paper.

Paper can be made from wood-pulp OR from cotton/linen.

What makes it paper is the way it's made, not the ingredients.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:35 | 2769032 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Bring back the Lincoln greenback.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:16 | 2768952 knukles
knukles's picture

Front lit?
Like a deer in the headlingts?

Front lit.


New and Improved.



Who the fuck buys this shit?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:35 | 2769024 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

Romance novel aficionados.


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:09 | 2769118 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

Though Amazon does not release sales numbers, the company did recently claim to own 22 percent tablet market share, whichAnthony Diclemente of Barclays Capital estimates as 7 million tablets sold.

7 million tablets, baby!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:16 | 2768954 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Where's the FBI phone home feature?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:17 | 2768957 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Collector's edition gold binding?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:19 | 2768963 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 A preloaded file with all the "major" fiat templates.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:20 | 2768965 Patriot Eke
Patriot Eke's picture

Why would anyone bother now that the Nexus 7 is out?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:24 | 2769103 Element
Element's picture

Don't have a Kindle, don't intend to either, but I personally love it when shit that works doesn't get changed for no good, or needed reason.

Less is often more and minimalist change is often more than enough, and entirely appropriate to the intended purpose.  And most people don't use the shit they already have, because ... it's really just peripheral useless shit, you'll never use ... or it is some digital bandit's scam ... lot of that on new schmartyphones

Most times when I get something upgraded or improved now, I cringe and have no patience whatsoever left for all the painful insulting BS from gurus and marketeers, because I know I'm going to more-or-less detest it, for they will have vandalised it and called it somehow 'better', than before, merely so they can cynically lever a new wave of suckers to buy into it, and its assault on reason.

It's virtual never actually 'better', it's just been 'changed', made more stupidly glossy, and usually functionally much worse.  Windows8 is the mother-of-all shitty fucked-up examples of this vandalising marketing BS process, of taking something that was already marginally intuitive and functional (Windows7) and completely destroying it, just to release a new but completely fucked-in-the-head 'product', so they can prop their stock, but that is a total pain in the arse to use.

Usually the new lesser-gadget 'features' on phones are more or less useless shit, that just distracts from what they once did.  Like make phone calls and communicate, 'n stuff.   Why anyone needs version 7 of a phone. as version 6 is just not cutting it any more, is lost on me.


Bravo to any company who 'gets-it', and doesn't go down this cynical glossy 'feature-set' road to an actual digital wasteland.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:45 | 2769208 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Personally, my killer app is battery life.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:13 | 2769286 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Yup, and the ability to download 10,000's of pages of libertarian literature and store it on something I can slip into my jacket pocket.

Rothbard's History of Economic Thought... Man, Economy & State... you name it, my Kindles got it.

No serious Austrian student would be without one, unless he (and yes, students of Austrian economics are virtually always a 'he') only wants to read them at home.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:45 | 2769388 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

A serious Austrian student wouldn't need the books, he would able to answer questions on Economics on the fly from his complete understanding of Praxeology and how to apply A Priori. 

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:23 | 2769312 centerline
centerline's picture

My daughter has a Kindle Fire thing.  Functions as intended, meets her needs, works as good as anything else, and was a fraction of the price of most other "tablet" things.  More is not always better.  And if it ain't broken, there isn't a need to fix it.


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:20 | 2768966 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

does it extinguish debt...?

print debt coupon dollars that i can buy $10 a gallon gas with...?

blow up n the faces of bitch ass bankers and their hoe' ass politicians....?


U DO TAKE EBT PLATINUM CARDS DONT U...........................................................................



Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:20 | 2768970 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Unadevertized feature: auto GPS tracking. Makes it easier for the authoritaaas to find you when you're reading something from the Non-Approved or Terrorist Book List.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:23 | 2768982 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Something like this?

Lots of great reading to be had for free here. Buy what you like.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:50 | 2769067 koaj
koaj's picture

those books i have in hard copy.


with Kindle I assume, you dont actually own the books or music etc. you rent it for life. Google "Bruce Willis, iTunes"

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:21 | 2768972 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture


Scary, I'll take two.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:24 | 2768988 howenlink
howenlink's picture

LED flashlight, AM/FM/SW radio, hand crank, solar charger?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:11 | 2769120 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

claims to have an eight week battery life.....

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:24 | 2768989 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

How many damn tablets do I need?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:45 | 2769028 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

one for every version of QE to celebrate bubble Ben saving our economy (from his imploding bubbles ironically) should have about 14 iPatches by now, just don't look up your balance sheet on any, it's a real horror story

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:37 | 2769034 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

Take two 45 cal EndItols and call me in the morning.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:11 | 2769121 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

You didn't suicide that.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:17 | 2769130 chunga
chunga's picture

Unless you're a very bad shot just one .45 should do the trick.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:29 | 2769009 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

All the AAPL PAD front-running competitors out with their latest trinkets a week before the master is scheduled to reveal its latest--as if a week's headstart matters.  

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:33 | 2769017 magpie
magpie's picture

I say it also gives Mr. Cook a headstart for the next lawsuit

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:31 | 2769013 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I don't see how you can sell books in the US market, no matter how you gussy 'em up.

Everyone have a general idea how many copies you have to sell to make the top of the bestsellers list?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:43 | 2769054 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

I hit that briefly selling 5k+ in a day.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:32 | 2769178 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Ayep.  If you're on top of the list for a solid two years, you've reached about 1% of the country.

Yay, literacy.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:35 | 2769015 Diesel Seven
Diesel Seven's picture

Ahhhh! that's the reason AMZN warrants a forward p/e of 310. . .

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:38 | 2769041 Deep79
Deep79's picture

Look at LNKD

PE of over a 1000



Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:02 | 2769096 Diesel Seven
Diesel Seven's picture

Yep, now its 1085 with a fwd p/e of 197--too much earnings growth already priced into the stock. As crazy at it is (and AMZN too), tI'd be terrified shorting or selling naked calls unless I had a A LOT of margin equity to maintain it for awhile . . .

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:39 | 2769020 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Does it have an on board Larry Flynt modulator?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:36 | 2769029 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

yahoo finance on the daily ticker.

hey look its the poster child for amazon Fraud.. Henry freaking blodget. Yea. i believe what he says.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:37 | 2769036 chunga
chunga's picture

I'm sure I'll get bashed but who cares.

I do not have or want a cell phone or iPad but I do have a Kindle (fire).

Undoubtedly, it can play games, "apps", etc. but it's just a book reader for us.

Being front-lit is handy if you want to read in bed without disturbing your spouse with a light on.

If you don't want to wear eye-glasses the font size can be increased.

It's the only thing we have bought in a long time that we don't absolutely require.

We buy regular books from the thrift-shop (by the box) and every wall in here has a bookshelf on it.

Thousands of e-books are in the public domain and can be read for free.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:38 | 2769042 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

The demon's name is surveillance

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:41 | 2769043 bdc63
bdc63's picture



Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:39 | 2769044 Aquaman
Aquaman's picture

Thanks for the fluff piece to distract us from the fact that stocks are through the roof despite all the doomsaying that goes on here.  Really appreciate it.  Thats highly tradeable info there.


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:41 | 2769047 Deep79
Deep79's picture

Then stop coming to the site you idiot

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2769083 geewhiz190
geewhiz190's picture

in other words-love or leave it-  heard that before, in 1969

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:49 | 2769411 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

That was your dad hovering over your bed with his dick in his hands, wasn't it? 

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:43 | 2769053 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

It's tradable info if you own AMZN.


Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:27 | 2769163 knukles
knukles's picture

Or if you don't own Amazon.
Or even if you don't give a shit.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:44 | 2769057 geewhiz190
geewhiz190's picture

you're right. occasionally, almost by accident, there will be some good information on this site, but it's like the broken clock syndrome. really very little that's of much use most of the time

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:40 | 2769046 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

But will it run Open Inkpot , thats the question. 50$ is a very good price for epaper reader

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:43 | 2769052 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

will it work on Bezos' spaceship?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:45 | 2769061 President Palin
President Palin's picture

Are these as nutritious as iPads?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:55 | 2769079 Father Lucifer
Father Lucifer's picture

Looking forward to it's debut on youtube channels;

Will it Blend and Microwave this.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 14:59 | 2769088 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

You know what i use.....wait for it......the good old fashion, non-battery operated, isn't ruined when i drop it in the bathtub, hard/soft COVER book.

Also wonder how many people putting those "tax free" purchases on their 24% Credit Cards.

Save 9% sales tax and pay 24% on your Credit Card. That is the American Way.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:31 | 2769175 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

tree murderer

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:43 | 2769205 bloostar
bloostar's picture

Don't forget the ink source. Free the squids!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:34 | 2769183 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Me as well, good old-fashioned books. Love to read. Especially in the bathtub.

Never dropped one in the bathtub in all these years, though.  ;-)

Afraid the pages would be ruined. :-(

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:46 | 2769392 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Yeah, what kind of book wouldn't be ruined by dropping it in the bathtub?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 17:13 | 2769493 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

The kind the Ten Commandments was written on, STONE.  ;-)

Probably break if you drop it on your ceramic tile floor though.

Six of one, half dozen of the other.  :-0

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:02 | 2769095 news printer
news printer's picture
Manianizacja Europe, euromato?y and destroy the Union banksterzy

Today, the ECB has taken a decision about buying the bonds of countries of southern Europe, which, without such aid within a short time would be cut off from market financing, and would have to go bankrupt. Markets will love for some time, it is difficult to assess whether it will be months, weeks or ... hours. But after a while to understand that the decision of the ECB (with the voice of the opposition of Germany) is buying time without solving any of the problems of the euro area. Be happy Barak Obama, perhaps because they do not break out the crisis before the November elections.

Scientists in excel will write comments such as:

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 18:25 | 2769692 frenzic
frenzic's picture

Manianizacja Europe, euromato?y and destroy the Union banksterzy

you can't make this shit up

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:11 | 2769122 HedgeFun
HedgeFun's picture

Now had they picked a better name like Ipad4....

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:20 | 2769137 Darkness
Darkness's picture

Children, you are wrong again, AMZN for the win.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:30 | 2769172 giggler123
giggler123's picture

I don't like these things, I found out recently that if you die, that's it no one can have the books you downloaded and paid for.

If I own a real book, at least someone can read it when I'm gone + might be able to sell at bootsale.

I guess this goes hand and foot with today's living and something ZH has been touting, gold and by that I mean physical!  Because these kindles are nothing more than ETF

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 15:38 | 2769192 bloostar
bloostar's picture

I save a fortune every day. I don't buy all this cr@p. Period. Nothing better than a sale of 100% off. 10%? pah! That's not nearly a sale!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:01 | 2769249 CuriousPasserby
CuriousPasserby's picture

Is this the new kindle that has a glowing screen that causes insomnia? Or was that the older ones?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 16:57 | 2769438 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

"Paperweight"; LOL. NIce. always time for a giggle.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 18:46 | 2769736 PrintingPress
PrintingPress's picture

I guess since this article released these peoples names the state should look into or perhaps audit their tax documents considering how they are all responsible for paying USE tax on those items and there really isn't any savings it's just them ripping off their local government and the state is pushing the burden onto online retailers.   But I wouldn't expect anything less from the U.S. savages. 

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 23:22 | 2770474 malek
malek's picture

Wait a second, all these Californian online buyers don't report all purchases on their 540A and pay Use tax?

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 23:28 | 2770488 SAME AS IT EVER WAS

I have just one comment: FUCK CALIFORNIA!

Fri, 09/07/2012 - 12:28 | 2772081 monad
monad's picture

Thats right Moonbeam, crush the economy of Mexico del Norte! Frackward

Fri, 09/07/2012 - 14:16 | 2772539 monad
monad's picture

Always look on the bright side. Things to do when the electricity fails

1. Read a book

2. Fuck

So now that we got that out of the way...


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