Update: It's Not On Just Yet: Iran Denies Earlier Reports:... Iran Closes Straits Of Hormuz, Oil Explodes

Tyler Durden's picture

And update from Bloomberg:



Iran has closed the Straits of Hormuz for military training as was expected yesterday, according to RanSquawk. Oil, and all other commodities, are outtahere.

And entire commodity complex:

And for those curious about more, RanSquawk speculates that the source of the data is a report in the Tehran Times saying that Iran will hold War Games in which it would close the Straits. Unclear if this is what Ran referenced when they said the Straits were already closed.

TEHRAN - MP Parviz Sorouri of the Majlis National Security and Foreign Policy Committee has said that Iran plans to practice its ability to close the Strait of Hormuz, one of the world’s most strategically important chokepoints, which accounts for about 30% of the world’s seaborne oil shipments.
“Currently, the Middle East region supplies 70 percent of the world’s energy needs, (most of) which are transported through the Strait of Hormuz. We will hold an exercise to close the Strait of Hormuz in the near future. If the world wants to make the region insecure, we will make the world insecure,” ISNA quoted Sorouri as saying on Tuesday.

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oldman's picture


I know an oldman who will buy transport and a weapon for any of these redneck assholes who want to put their boots on the ground.

I can't believe that there are still real people who are cheering for war.

BTW  the last time the oldman made this offer was in 2004 and you know what? Not a single one of these 'rah,rah,war!' idiots responded            

I do not believe that are any 'innocents' at war---too much internet for innocence  thanks for the comment       om

Ima anal sphincter's picture

Thanks oldman

I was stupid enough to raise my right hand and give up four years of my life to these folks. Serving MY COUNTRY....I am proud of that. Serving these assholes, NO! My biggest fear......this goes global. In the former years, there were saner heads out there who would be very hesitant to "push the button". Now......not even close. It won't be a Muslim "popping the clutch" first, it'll be an Israeli. Does Iran have nukes? Yes.....POWER STATIONS. If they had an actual bomb, do you think they'd be stupid enough to use it? If they wanted to see glass instead of sand then I guess so. I'madinnerjacket is not stupid. He knows who is the REAL threat to mankind out there. He speaks his mind. The bankers hate him. Same way with Gaddafi. Any person who resists the bankers power base HAS TO GO.

The bankers are evil satanic pieces of shit. Their puppets in governments are just as bad.

It's us or them........I choose them.

Ima anal sphincter's picture

One final note. My sons WILL NOT be raising their right hands. They will most likely die along side their father trying to rid this world of the pestilence called the bankers.

oldman's picture


Thanks, your words should be an inspiration to the 'innocents'. I'm very pleased to have made your acquaintance here at ZH.

I could not agree with your sentiments more. I choose collaboration, and the word has nothing to do with the meaning the movie gogols and propagandists have given it; it simply means; to work together.

OWS is collaborating and their way seems more democratic than ours---this is why I support them almost as much as I do for their courage and non-violence. If your sons want to fight for freedom and a better worl for our grandchildren, I hope that you will suggest that they enlist with OWS; these americans are the heroes of our time and I wish them well as they resist for each of us.

  The Iranians have refused the bait thrown out by the US, Israel, and Europe many times; they are a civilized people and have been for 5000 years. Why use the smaller nations as proxies when the wars are always between the large nations with large weapons factories and large banks?

Why do we tolerate this shit rather than mobilzation and resistance---are we truly such cowards?

Sorry, I'm getting too sad to go on    thanks for your brave words, my friend      om

Cathartes Aura's picture

it's good to read your words Ima, to know there are fathers who love their sons more than the "idea" of a nationstate sold them since birth - in this exchange with oldman there is awareness of the lies sold the amrkn peoples, and defiance - salute!

I have a live-stream music channel going, and a Fleet Foxes song played while I read your posts - I love it when music is synchronous with words. . . for you both, and your sons:



song performed:


I love these guys, 20something band from Seattle area - integrity.


Ima anal sphincter's picture

Thanks Mr Vulture,

People, ALL PEOPLE, need to become aware. ALL PEOPLE need to be as pissed as me. There is only one way to take this back. The more folks who come to that realization, the better.

He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

And now this lukewarm reference to RanSquawk for having come up with the false news? Durden, you needed to doublecheck!

If the BBC does not have it, then Ransquawk can squawk as much as they want: it isn't happening!

Dissapointing way to handle Non-News, Durden!
Less rapid-fire (others are faster anyway, as you know), more responsibility is how to treat this in the future...

In Fed We Trust's picture

Does this mean we are not getting our Drone back?

Any word on that Drone?

In Fed We Trust's picture

Heard at the last Bilberberg Betting Benefit:

The war "offical " starts when crude hits $150.

Not a day sooner or a week later.

Gun the headlines if you wish, but thats all they are us "headlines".( a feedback mechanusm for George Sorodms theory of reflexity"

In Fed We Trust's picture

Has anyone in the world given even 2 cents thought

As to the havoc the war machines will cause on global warming?

Obviously machines have not gotton that smart after all,

Because the Global Warmibf machines would have the War mongering machines to retire.......

Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

They are practicing closing it.
It remains open for business during the training exercise.

Yeah... & I'm a defensive coordinator for the Alabama Crimson Tide...

This week we're PRACTICING our goal line defense by letting the other side score touchdowns... 

lizzy36's picture

Crack to power of 10.

I love it. Oil to $125, market rallies, because $5 a gallon gas is positive for the economy.

Yes Virgina, it really is a Costanza market.

you enjoy myself's picture

and also a reminder to the US that's its not only Bernanke with the power to kill GDP.  if Bernanke prints and Iran embargoes, we're looking at $200 oil -- which of course means, with each $1 in oil being $100B in GDP (assuming a non-linear impact though), a roughly 50% hit to GDP.

Dr. Richard Head's picture

With a 5% GDP drop each year over the past 5 years, I would assume there is no GDP left. 

Flakmeister's picture

You noticed that as well?? DOW up 112 as I type....

russki standart's picture

Yeah,  Fagmeister, with the failure of Durban everyone is celebrating :-) 


Just kidding.

Flakmeister's picture

Go fuck yourself asshole....

Sucked any Koch lately?

tarsubil's picture

You seem upset. Grant denied due to reality?

Flakmeister's picture

When I want your opinion, I'll rattle my zipper....

tarsubil's picture

You seem to be fixated on something. Did he leave you for someone younger?

Flakmeister's picture

Let me know when you want to have a real discussion without the bullshit....In the meantime I will treat the assholes like Russki and yourself with the respect you have earned....

It is a mutual thingie in case you haven't figured it out....

tarsubil's picture

I'll take that as a yes. I'm sorry.

oldman's picture

in order to rattle your zipper, you will have to let go of your precious dick---I don't think that you can do two things at the same time because you seem not to be able to think and write simultaneously

nothing personal, but you put it out there     om

Flakmeister's picture

Thanks for that lucid bit of logic from the peanut gallery.... Why don't you go off and create some other deep syllogisms?

Paper CRUSHer's picture

Yeah Sis......indeed...'pop goes the diesel'.......as well as the U.S. economoney.

If the crazy co-ordinated CB intervention wasn't enough at $110 jus' over a week ago to put a firm bid under crude this will certainly do the trick.

Contrast this last joint action and that of late fall'08's meltdown when G7 co-ordinated rate cuts halted the oil crash but sweet ol'crude was trading well below 40 bucks!

American34's picture

Oil is not up that much. If it were "real" oil would be at $150 a barrel! Mr. Durden your Headline Titles are getting a little to close to the Drama Queen line! You should not stoop so low as CNN and CNBC in this matter. Fight Club is more honorable than that.

Flakmeister's picture

Looking at Brent and normalizing for DXY, oil is more expensive now than for all but 3 weeks in 2008....

American34's picture

Oil is ONLY around $100 for WTI. That means nothing. $125 that will mean something!

Flakmeister's picture

WTI is a broken benchmark.... Brent reflects the price of oil I can put in my tanker and ship anywhere....The price at the pump is more reflective of Brent.... Notice the gas-diesel spread?

Fiat Bitchez's picture

I am thinking this is a planted article....  to get the people distracted.

Joeprimo55's picture

Crude-less Christmas...

sunnydays's picture

Enjoy the gas price as it is today, it will probably never been seen at these prices again.  Besides this the dollars on the market will start affecting it.

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Time to cash in me fuel perks for 60 gallons of free gas in 5 gallon containers.  I'm such a terrorist.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



House and Senate agree on sweeping defense bill


The legislation would deny suspected terrorists, even U.S. citizens seized within the nation's borders, the right to trial and subject them to indefinite detention. The lawmakers made no changes to that language.

The revisions weren't sufficient for at least one civil rights group. "The so-called 'changes' to the detainee provisions that came out to conference are cosmetic at best," said Raha Wala of Human Rights First. "They do little to fix the underlying problems with the bill. The president has no choice now but to veto, both for the sake of our national security and the rule of law."

The bill would go after foreign financial institutions that do business with Iran's central bank by barring them from opening or maintaining correspondent operations in the United States. It would apply to foreign central banks only for transactions that involve the sale or purchase of petroleum or petroleum products.

The petroleum penalties would only apply if the president, in six months, determines there is a sufficient alternative supply and if the country with jurisdiction over the financial institution has not significantly reduced its purchases of Iranian oil. It also allows the president to waive the penalties based on national security.


EscapeKey's picture

The difference between this indefinite detention bill, and that of the Nazi's, is that the American will only be used on bad people, and in a democratic way. </sarc>

pods's picture

Great, now we just need some sycophants drilling on and on about how this will protect our freedom.

Gotta go find my copy of 1984, as to me, this sounds doubleplusgood!


a growing concern's picture

Who controls the past now controls the future


Who controls the present now controls the past



American Dreams's picture

Man I would plus this 10,000 times if I could. 

there be no shelter here

viahj's picture

"He who controls the Spice, controls the Universe!"

nwskii's picture

WhoremuZ BitchteZ

Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

That's just the "Trav777" chart pattern...

GeneMarchbanks's picture

I though they were just 'practicing'.

Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

How the hell I'ma make my teammates better by PRACTICE?

~Allen Iverson


hedgeless_horseman's picture



Sounds like maybe the US Navy could use a little practice in the Strait as well?

Report: Lax leadership led to Hormuz collision

Sailors also reported a lax attitude in the sonar division about taking breaks.


On the night of the crash, sonar operators chatted “for the majority of the time [in the hour before] the collision.” An officer of the deck did not look through the periscope prior to the collision after taking over contact management duties.


The navigator, off-watch, was found to have been taking an engineering exam in the wardroom “while listening to his iPod,” despite the hazardous evolution underway.



High Plains Drifter's picture

here they are talking about oil and that bitch hasn't showed up yet?  amazing....

Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

Up above... Apparently been checking the Law Review...

useless_fact's picture

Game on.


According to the United States Department of Agriculture, rapeseed was the third leading source of vegetable oil in the world in 2000, after soybean and oil palm.
prodigious_idea's picture

Perhaps because, like the other two, it's both a source of food and fuel (biodiesel)?