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Update: It's Not On Just Yet: Iran Denies Earlier Reports:... Iran Closes Straits Of Hormuz, Oil Explodes

Tyler Durden's picture


And update from Bloomberg:



Iran has closed the Straits of Hormuz for military training as was expected yesterday, according to RanSquawk. Oil, and all other commodities, are outtahere.

And entire commodity complex:

And for those curious about more, RanSquawk speculates that the source of the data is a report in the Tehran Times saying that Iran will hold War Games in which it would close the Straits. Unclear if this is what Ran referenced when they said the Straits were already closed.

TEHRAN - MP Parviz Sorouri of the Majlis National Security and Foreign Policy Committee has said that Iran plans to practice its ability to close the Strait of Hormuz, one of the world’s most strategically important chokepoints, which accounts for about 30% of the world’s seaborne oil shipments.
“Currently, the Middle East region supplies 70 percent of the world’s energy needs, (most of) which are transported through the Strait of Hormuz. We will hold an exercise to close the Strait of Hormuz in the near future. If the world wants to make the region insecure, we will make the world insecure,” ISNA quoted Sorouri as saying on Tuesday.

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Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:57 | 1973767 Cdad
Cdad's picture

LOL!  Iranians selling all crude fast as possible...probably faster than their boats in the  Straits Of Hormuz.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:40 | 1974408 ActionFive
ActionFive's picture

Has to make bankers jealous.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:57 | 1973768 rambler6421
rambler6421's picture

WWIII bitchez!

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:01 | 1973798 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

It's not war.  It's operation kinetic twist....bitchez.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:58 | 1973777 MarcusLCrassus
MarcusLCrassus's picture

Good thing the oil pipeline they have been building to bypass Hormuz is almost done.

Problem, Iran?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:20 | 1973933 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Building pipelines to bypass "chokepoints" is a complete no-brainer.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:33 | 1974009 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

It's a not-so-good thing for oil producers that oil pipelines are tempting High Value Targets that are hard to defend and tend to get blown up with disturbing regularity when TSHTF. 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:02 | 1974177 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

yup kinda hard to protect a really long snake like that especially when those around it consider the builder a snake too.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:58 | 1973779 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

Pixel perfect spike

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:59 | 1973782 LookingWithAmazement
LookingWithAmazement's picture

Finally, Armageddon.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:59 | 1973787 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

You cannot close international transitways for military exercise.

It is considered an act of war.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:09 | 1973859 CIABS
CIABS's picture

good point.  whether they actually did close it seems to be in doubt here.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:12 | 1973874 SixFeetFromTheHedge
SixFeetFromTheHedge's picture

You mean the Iranian water borders which the US had drawed and then called "international waters"? 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:04 | 1974188 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

we and England redrew every other line in the greater area, why stop there

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:16 | 1973902 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture watcha gonna do about it?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:27 | 1973992 infotechsailor
infotechsailor's picture

"its an act of war"


... but western led sanctions and flying drones over their airspace, that's just 'non-kinetic action'

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:00 | 1973792 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:00 | 1973794 Iranian Dictator
Iranian Dictator's picture

I told you bitchez I was going to close it. Now I got your drone and your oil.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:01 | 1973799 MountainMan
MountainMan's picture

Hormuz, bitchez.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:02 | 1973806 maximin thrax
maximin thrax's picture

It's been reported that someone just littered the Straits of Hormuz with targets for an impending American naval exercise. /

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:03 | 1973810 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Send in the drones! 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:45 | 1974081 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Don't you love farce? 
My fault, I fear. 
I thought that you'd want what I want - 
Sorry, my dear. 
But where are the drones? 
There ought to be drones. 
Quick, send in the drones.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:54 | 1974135 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

must you drone on?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:16 | 1974259 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

And where are the drones? 
Quick, send in the drones. 
Don't bother - they're here.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:26 | 1974324 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and just like Emmett Kelly, it's all driven by a sad clown

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:03 | 1973812 Macca
Macca's picture

Maybe it has something to do with this:


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:53 | 1974120 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Interesting. It is, of course, a senior commander of Iran's revolutionary guards that is president of OPEC this year

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:03 | 1973813 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Looks like oil is not the only thing spiking...

12-13 10:00: French banks borrowing from ECB EUR 158.5bln in October 2011 vs. Prev...

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:03 | 1973814 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

High oil helps create inflation.

Less money for the sheep to buy iShit.

Less money to pay off 1st and 2nd mortgage.

Economy tanks....(faster, harder, better)

Bernanke now has excuse (faster, harder, better) for QE (n).

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:30 | 1974008 infotechsailor
infotechsailor's picture

succintly put. except for the fact that the bernank and banks are the ones creating the inflation. the high price of oil is just a symptom , and the strait closing is just a scapegoat for the rising prices of everything.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 17:31 | 1974246 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

fiscal policy can not create oil. inflation is definitely a bernank bastard child but ever increasing shortage of the liquid that drives our entire economy has its own special effects.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:05 | 1973820 LookingWithAmazement
LookingWithAmazement's picture

Oil already going little down. Armageddon over.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:06 | 1973825 Vergeltung
Vergeltung's picture

dirka dirka!


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:07 | 1973834 Franktastic
Franktastic's picture

good thing i have my 50cc scooter, that is good for 100 mpg...not to good for the snow tho.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:19 | 1974584 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Move to a warmer climate.  Grow potatoes.

Get a dual.  Learn to distill potatoes. Get an E85 convesion kit for bike.  Store some gasoline.  Mix booze and gas together.

Now you can put booze in your tank and belt some back.  Drive/bike while everyone else is walking.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:07 | 1973838 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Is it going to stay closed ?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:09 | 1973841 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Ok. At last count the US was at war or otherwise engaged in battle with/in/for 5 Arab countries, and had boots on the ground in 8 (that we know of). So adding a 9th is just a walk in the park. 

Make the Persian Gulf the 6th American Great Lake

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:17 | 1974263 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

we're not at war silly, we're fighting terrorism with contract security forces. 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:16 | 1973906 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

This isn't Dennis the Menace loosing his kite in Mr. Wilson's yard. 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:59 | 1974763 Matt
Matt's picture

Actually, it sort of is, if you think about it.

Crotchity old civilization, young uber destructive civilization. Hopefully, in the end they somehow become friends. Its like Dennis the Menace as directed by Michael Bay.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:08 | 1973845 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Ok false alarm from what i can tell.

They are conducting training to close the strait, but are not actually closing it during the training.

Did George Washington hack Tyler's account?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:42 | 1973925 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Where did you read that?

I don't see anything clarifying it one way or the other.

Edit:  It seems irresponsible to allow civillian traffic through a war game zone.  I could understand if they kept a corridor clear for civillian traffic, or were otherwise directing it through the area.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:27 | 1973988 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

If you have any concerns, please refer them to RanSquawk, and the market, both of which reacted to initial news distribution.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:17 | 1974270 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture


What would be as much (if not more) interesting is if any of you could dig up who was able to FRONTRUN the spike...

I'll pay to see that...

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:08 | 1973848 clones2
clones2's picture

Yeah - "explodes" is a little strong of a word.  I think "pops and fades" is a little more accurate.  I was scared for a second though. :-)

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:09 | 1973854 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

A couple of bucks a barrel is not "exploding". Now give me $25 a barrel and I'll duck and cover.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:10 | 1973863 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

this is why i'm heavy in oil stocks, iran and bernanke and the warmongering us

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:14 | 1973864 thunderchief
thunderchief's picture

No need for panic, folks.

This is Iran just saying they want to go Anal. 

For the first time.

I think they may get an answer very soon.

As much as it may hurt.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:11 | 1973870 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

This was a reference to US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta's warning Friday,  Dec. 2  "…any disruption of the free flow of commerce through the Persian Gulf is a very grave threat to all of us" and a red line for the US."

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:12 | 1973875 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

gotta boost those retail sales numbers some how might as well start jacking gas prices.. what else is there ?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:14 | 1973885 El Gordo
El Gordo's picture

Obama called to say thanks for helping out with his Destroy America agenda, and as a token of his appreciation, they can keep the drone.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:14 | 1973887 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

Obama- "hello is this the Iranian dept of foreign affairs?"

Iran- "yes, who is this?"

Obama- " uh this is president Obama"

Iran- "who?"

Obama- "president Obama from the United States"

Iran- (crickets)

Obama- "ok, well listen it seems that you may have mistakenly taken one for our recreational model airplanes into your possession"

Iran- " we do have one of your top secret, uber high tech, super stealth drones in our possession at this time, yes that is true"

Obama- "no,no I think you misunderstand, it's just a fancy RC car that can fly, something the boys in Afghanistan use during their down time to relax, you know have some fun, it reminds them of home"

Iran- " it has high tech digital recorders and cameras"

Obama- "yeah well...we have some landscape photography nuts, and the scenery is very nice in Afghanistan, lots of...sand and rocks"

Iran- "it has carriages for missiles and bombs"

Obama- "oh, well that's, hunting you know? Americans love to hunt, it's in our DNA"

Iran- " hunting?"

Obama- " yeah you know it's deer hunting season and well, we did want our boys to miss out so..."

Iran- "deer hunting?"

Obama- "yeah, yes..yes"

Iran- " in Afghanistan?"

Obama- "sure"

Iran- "with hellfire missiles?"

Obama- " yeah, well listen, this is all just a big misunderstanding and we are really sorry it strayed into your airspace, so I was wondering, could you maybe send it back, we'll happy to pay for shipping?"

Iran- (unintelligible shouting in Arabic, but obviously cursing in stunned disbelief)

Obama- "um, hello?"

Iran- " I'm sorry but I do not believe that will be possible at this time"

Obama- "oh well, could you maybe blow it up then? maybe you could invite the Swiss ambassador to watch, he umm, likes to watch things...explode"

Iran- "no" (click)

Obama- "oh well, at least I tried, now where is that report written by Donald Rumsfeld ten years ago that proves beyond a shadow of any doubt that Iran has a fully working version of the bomb? ahh there it is, now then we'll just change the date to today, and the authors name to...ahh...somebody from the IAEA and viloa'... hmm I wonder if I will squeeze another nobel peace prize out of this?"

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:23 | 1973950 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Next time they should put a bomb inside so it can destroy itself, what is this amateur hour?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:21 | 1974298 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

I'm guessing that they could start a collection of them, then just dump them in the narrow passageway of the Straits of Hormuz and say...

"Here they are, come and get em"...

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:21 | 1974299 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Good thinking. That way, if China/Russia/Iran HAVE got the access codes, they can just blow up all our drones while they're still sitting in our hangars.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:30 | 1974633 flattrader
flattrader's picture

I wondered the same thing myself...and yes, apparently it is amatuer hour.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:54 | 1974131 American Sucker
American Sucker's picture

Most Iranians don't speak Arabic; they speak Farsi.  Farsi is written with the Arabic alphabet (technically an abjad) but is unrelated to Arabic.  If this seems weird, consider that Hawaiian is written in the Latin alphabet.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:56 | 1974147 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Call placed from Obamas private Black Berry, thats why the Iranian official didn't know who he was talking to cause the caller ID wasn't the White House number. 


LOL @ Donald Rummy report! as you hear feverish pen scratching over the names on the report as Obama is licking the ball point end of the pen making the corrections. good one.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:15 | 1973893 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Your move Obama

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:19 | 1973922 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Obama is not sure how to 'Community Organize' this one...after all its not some tiny North African country, its Russia and China.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:24 | 1973960 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Let me help out ... send in the US Navy and send warning shots right across the bow of every Iranian ship. Apologies to all who can't stomach leading from the front.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:28 | 1973996 kralizec
kralizec's picture

All you have to do is call it "practice"! 


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:52 | 1974115 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

You're right up there with 'em, huh, chief?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 17:16 | 1975755 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

yes, part of the top brass perks include down time to blog on sites like this.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:07 | 1974205 Cui Bono
Cui Bono's picture

"Community organizing" is EASY... China brings the rice, Russia the Vodka- and you get them both to tell you how much they like your three bean salad. Voila, you gots a dialogue.

Most people don't know that Chuck Norris invented three bean salad.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:16 | 1973899 Shooting Shark
Shooting Shark's picture

Big deal.  Short it, 'cause it'll be right back where it was.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:18 | 1973911 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

So much for all the 'oil short' calls from the permabulls...didnt a lot of Wall Streeters have that trade 'on'?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:19 | 1973916 dirtydog
dirtydog's picture

Sensationalist headline and article, a) it isn't confirmed they have closed it yet and b) a 1% price rise isn't 'exploding'. 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:26 | 1973973 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Uh yeah. So Tyler shouldn't post anything until it's too late to something about it. Gotcha.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:48 | 1974095 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Retract or correct if nessesary but the spike happened before the news.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:22 | 1973941 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

About fuckin´time. I´ve been watching my long Brent warrant do nothing for ages. Make my some money, baby...

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:25 | 1974326 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

Bad news is... You're going to have to pull your hand out of your ass long enough to hit a keystroke to lock in your profits...

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:23 | 1973957 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

I call the helicopter.  I'm a pro at blowing up oil refineries in BF3.  I like being the gunner though. 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:24 | 1973962 Mikehy
Mikehy's picture

Houston ship channel closed this morning due to a collision. this will be partially responsible for the move up as well.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:25 | 1973967 kralizec
kralizec's picture

US needs to practice opening the Straits of Hormuz...too bad the US lacks competent leadership...

Iran wins again...


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:27 | 1973987 blueridgeviews
blueridgeviews's picture

How does a piss-ant country like Iran close one the most heavily travelled oil routes on the earth?


They don't, for long.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:24 | 1974319 BigJim
BigJim's picture

It's not very wide. And it's not very deep.

A bit like you, I guess.  ;-)

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 14:33 | 1974924 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

1. lay mines

2. attack the 5th Fleet with Sunburn and Yakhonts missiles.

3. sink several supertankers in the straits.

4. attack the Saudi oil terminal at Ras Tanura

Then, my favorite part...

5. When the US is entirely focused on Iran, the Russians detonate an EMP weapon above the east coast of the US.  Forensics on the weapon and the delivery vehicle implicate the Islamic Republic.

A great way to win a war is to make sure your enemy doesn't know that you are fighting him.


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:28 | 1973994 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Carpet bomb pallets of fiats on those suckas

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:28 | 1974003 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

but....but... they gave back those 2 punk hikers. How bad can they be?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:33 | 1974024 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

The Amerikkkan Empire taking on the Persian Empire.

Place yer bets! I'll go with the culture that's been around the longest.

For you historically-challenged Amerikkkans out there, that would be the Persian.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:00 | 1974130 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Pointless one ! We are the history of western civilization ! We passed through Persia two thousand years ago on our way to New York ! You probably believe the mud dwellers on the banks of the Nile built the Pyramids.....that was us.....3000 years ago ! We took our civilization on the road following the receding ice ! I laugh in your Russian yak milk ! Go back to got problems there ! Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Russia, China and Norko are next ! We are going to civilize all the heathens....that's our glorious destiny !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:02 | 1974137 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Go to your room....Steppe Child !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:40 | 1974066 e-recep
e-recep's picture

The Iranians live pretty much without any debt. We must bring democracy to them. They look so appetizing, uh pardon me, oppressed.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:29 | 1974347 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

The Iranians live pretty much without any debt

So THAT's why Israel hates them so much! I knew there must be a reason!

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:47 | 1974074 Monedas
Monedas's picture

I told you we were fucking with them big time ! Panty wearing liberal trolls ! How will the blame America and Israel first trolls explain this away ! Where's China ? Huh? Russia's wimping around Syria.....probably per our instructions ! Bush's war on terrorism is playing out you doubters of little faith ! I laugh in your mother's milk ! Comedy Jihad Spectatin' the Spectacle !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:28 | 1974126 Robert-Paulson
Robert-Paulson's picture


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:03 | 1974515 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture



Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:54 | 1974128 Robert-Paulson
Robert-Paulson's picture



Can someone explain this chart?


Apparently gold has hit 1740 today- 8 times

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:58 | 1974158 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:59 | 1974163 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Yahoo's chart isn't working...try this -

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:04 | 1974186 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

You know what that proves to me? I could be wrong, but it's proof that there is a pre programmed trading range, and the Algos are working hard to keep the range correction under the pressure of risk on. jus sayin.. rigged game.  

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:13 | 1974241 jomama
jomama's picture

for starters, that chart is dated the 11th, and today is the 13th...

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:28 | 1974341 Robert-Paulson
Robert-Paulson's picture

Negative...My chart says the 13th

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:43 | 1974423 Robert-Paulson
Robert-Paulson's picture

The chart is titled Dec 11, but the date is the 13th


Yahoo on some serious acid today


Check this link showing the 1740 graph


Something caused this chart to do this


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:57 | 1974151 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Pheew. That was close.

For a second there, I thought we might not get back our drone!

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:07 | 1974198 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture


i remember reading this several years ago.  in war games in the early 2000's most of the american fleet was sent to the bottom of the gulf of hormuz.........


does one sailor on these ship ever stop to contemplate what sitting ducks they are out there , with these damn supersonic anti ship missles around here and there?  remember, despite any defensive methods known as of this moment, there are no known defensive measures to counter these new stye of anti ship missles. they are just too fast and they skim over the ocean at about 6 feet and are very hard to pick up and there is no advanced warning.  it is insane to position any of our ships within  that insanity........

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:11 | 1974225 Monedas
Monedas's picture

You talk of if it pertains to others ?  That's one of the definitions of insanity ! Grow a pair or renounce your citizenship ! That would show some sanity ! Monedas 2011 Troll Patroll

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:15 | 1974254 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

grow a pair or renounce my citizenship....?   hmmm.  i see..........

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:21 | 1974291 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

It's nice they let them have access to computers. Therapeutic.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:27 | 1974335 Monedas
Monedas's picture

You could be the first naturalized citizen of Palestine ! That would be quite the invention ! I laugh in UNESCO's powdered milk ! Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Milk Run !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:34 | 1974336 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Miscreant....go find an Alpha male to bond with ! I won't laugh in your milk....that wouldn't be gentlemanly !  Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Agent 007 !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:28 | 1974623 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Was I wrong? Are you not a wild and crazy guy, you comedy Jihadist you?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 14:33 | 1974782 Monedas
Monedas's picture

"The Jerk" with Steve Martin is my Koran ! ´Nuff said ?      I joke about "milk boarding".....maybe I'm on to sumpin' ?     Brut Boarding ?   Beer Boarding ?   Ripple (an economical sweet wine preferred by the idle class) Boarding ?  And for our Muslim friends......PIG BLOOD BOARDING !     Love ya, Miscreant !    Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Fool For Soft Legs With Humour !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:02 | 1974489 JR
JR's picture

We learn from history that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was facilitated by Roosevelt’s duplicity in providing a potential target which would bring us into a war, with Roosevelt’s advisors hoping that the Japanese would “fire the first shot.”

Secretary of War, Henry Stimson: “The question was how we should maneuver them (the Japanese) into…firing the first shot without allowing too much danger to ourselves.”

Pearl Harbor, of course, was a little worse than they had anticipated for a target. In putting US military ships in harm’s way, Drifter is exactly correct in assuming the worst; far from being “insane” in this instance, his examples exemplify a patriot.

Early in WWII, a British Secret Service operation, Operation Ultra, had obtained the German coding machine, gaining access to all Hitler’s secret communications.  Ultra informed the Allies that the Germans were planning a massive bombing raid on Coventry, England. If they evacuated, Hitler would know they were listening to his plans. Churchill ordered that nothing be done; the Germans bombed Coventry; thousands of women and children were killed, totted up by the Allies as “collateral damage,” and the war continued….

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 15:37 | 1975291 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Every five year old knew Coventry war production was a target ! Duh !  Could you be a little more precise on the deaths and casualties from "that" first "surprise" air raid ? Me thinks you doth inflate the numbers ! RIP the fallen in the Battle of Britain ! I will never besmirch that valiant struggle ! Semper fi !   Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Rampant Revisionism Run Amuck !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 15:49 | 1975343 Monedas
Monedas's picture

You are a Revisionist Perma-Troll living in a make believe Socialist ether net !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:12 | 1974216 SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

The Iranians will have their exercise and go home, without firing a shot.  Point made, ace card flashed.  I wonder if the ghosts of LBJ and McNamara are floating around the Persian Gulf, though?  And if the Iranians are so dumb as to actually fire the first shot.... anyhow, this pith-helmet woggery takes me back to my days on the HMS Piffle during the Boer War and the Katanga Crisis... yehhss... pass the brandy old boy....

BTW Russia will do doodely-squat, maybe make some dough by selling weapons and materiel.  The Chinese will stand by and watch, laughing.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:17 | 1974265 Monedas
Monedas's picture

I give Iran about 6 months ! Just like they shit their swadling clothes before Reagan showed up ! The Iranian regime will be gone before the next Republican president is sworn in ! Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Stop listening to CNN if you don't have the mental capacity to read between the lines ! I laugh in your Camel's milk !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:19 | 1974287 Imminent Collapse
Imminent Collapse's picture


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:22 | 1974309 warezdog
warezdog's picture

Time to fill up the cans in the garage, top off the car tank and generator.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:26 | 1974331 PMakoi
PMakoi's picture

Obama:  I'd like you to give us our spy drone back.

Ahmadinejad:  You didn't say "Please".

Obama:  Please?

Ahmadinejad:  I will shove it up you ass.

Obama:  I will shove the USS Enterprise up yours!

Ahmadinejad:  Ha, I laid down puts on oil a week ago!  I will be buying your Navy next year on eBay!

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:04 | 1974422 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Pomeroy !       Obama is to the decent Americans as Akmadinejad is to the decent Iranians !    Things will be fine when they're both gone ! Cheers !    Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad White Paper !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:11 | 1974549 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

Well for puppets they both have purty mouth.

Possibly you could drown in their "milk" shorty.


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:30 | 1974632 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Are you suggesting "Milk Boarding" ?   Nooooo !!!!    I talk ! I talk !   Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Thank You Liberal Dim Wits For Inflating My Already Healthy Ego !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:30 | 1974357 dcb
dcb's picture

I think we should start training the somoli pirates to do this stuff, let them gop after the iranian navy.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 12:45 | 1974428 Judge Arrow
Judge Arrow's picture

My dears, when the Iranians make good on their threat an annihilation of Iran's assets, military and economic will occur in less than two weeks. The mullahs are about to make the mistake you cannot make and survive: Never Believe Your Own Bullshit.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:06 | 1974526 Tinfoil Hat
Tinfoil Hat's picture

Just as Libya was going to last only days? Granted we haven't seen the full might and fury of a modern military focused all in one place. People love to brush off "those stone age towel heads". We really don't know what is going to happen in the arab world should Israel launch a strike on a sovereign arab nation. There can be a lot of talk right now, but should jews start raining death on muslims alliegances will certainly be tested.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:30 | 1974631 Savvy
Savvy's picture

We really don't know what is going to happen in the arab world should Israel launch a strike on a sovereign arab nation.


Sure we do. Lebanon bitch slapped the Israelis in 2006.  

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 14:52 | 1975026 Monedas
Monedas's picture

To be a "Sovereign Nation" you need a sovereign.....not an Islamo Fascist Fuck Head !   Muslims are 1000 years into arrested development.....quit trying to lionize the swine !   Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Lionizing Them Puts Their Sorry Asses At Risk As Being Worthy Adversaries !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 15:10 | 1975112 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Libya did last days ! One of the shortest Fascist Flushes in years ! I love to brush their fleas into their camel's milk !   Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Fast Track Liberation Movements !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:18 | 1974580 JR
JR's picture

Dear Starship Commander: Your World War III scenario eliminating Iran in two weeks is a bit much, even for the imagination of George Lucas.

Reminds one of Navy Secretary Frank Knox’s famous evaluation prior to Pearl Harbor: “We can wipe the Japanese off the map in three months.”

An attack on Iran at this moment, as all reasonable Mid-East observers would agree, is an opening for world war with the involvement of Arab countries, Israel/US, Russia, China and the rest. And, at this point, suggestions of such an attack are, at the very least, not useful.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:27 | 1974618 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Too funny. How's that Iraqi cakewalk working out for you.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:46 | 1974680 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Hellooooooo !!!  It was a cake walk !   150 to 1 kill ratio when you include the collaterals !  U:S: losses minimal but grieved none the less !   Drilling under way in Kurdistan   !   Kurds now in better position to support Kurds in Turkeystan facing another Armenian style genocide ! Turkey denied cheap oil !  Troops on to Jordan/Syria border !  Yellow cake stored in Damascus "Home Depot" disguised as garden gravel !   Moles can't see the rout because the roots get in the way ?     Monedas 2011  Comedy Jihad Hangin' Out In The Hangin' Garden !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:01 | 1974499 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Why don't we just limit the output of oil daily at some lower amount like 40 million barrels and share the oil evenly with all 7 billion people. It would be a credit in our bank account and we could trade the credits for other goods. Those who gulp down oil like water would have to trade for an increase of their allocation.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:17 | 1974577 LookingWithAmazement
LookingWithAmazement's picture

In a teacup - told you so. Iran will not be attacked, it's too dangerous.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 13:48 | 1974647 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Looking the other way with amazement !     The attack has been underway for weeks.....where have you been.....milking your goat herd ?  Monedas 2011 Comedy Jihad Pastor To The Unwashed Liberal Goatherders Of The World !

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 14:35 | 1974939 warezdog
warezdog's picture

Who was it that said the US will become the largest oil producer in the next 10 years? I heard it recently but can't find it now, he suggested that the gig is up in the middle east and Putin has known it for years, that's why they've spent billions on that pipe line to the sea just north of china.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 15:11 | 1975101 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"oil" producer. The real stuff, the sweet crude barely under the ground, the stuff that built the last one hundred year economy and its growth cycle is almost gone- unless you call invasion easy 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 14:41 | 1974969 Dcheeth2
Dcheeth2's picture

Russians have just parked their joke of an Aircraft Carrier off UK waters. 

Being shadowed by one of our destroyers. 

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 20:03 | 1976562 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Let it go up I don't care. Again a bit of extra fuel on hand and a horse to go about town. That's plenty.


Iran has fantasy and altered reality if they think they can choke off the Hormuz traffic. All those itty bitty speedboats, oil rigs and shore installations would make a good training exercise with live fire.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 20:59 | 1976762 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Make sure you keep your vehicles topped off. We are going to wake up one day, and this is going to have happened overnight. Much like today ... but luckily today it was a false alarm.

Wed, 12/14/2011 - 00:01 | 1977370 CrisisMaven
CrisisMaven's picture

May I venturee a suggestion: probably some clever Iranian banker has let the clergy in on the game of how to profit from first buying long positions, then spreading the rumour of a closed strait of Hormuz, then buying short positions and denying said rumour. What a droning uproar in markets :-)

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