It's Not A Free Market, It's Not A Controlled Market, It's A Gong Show Market

Tyler Durden's picture

From the latest monthly report by IceCap Asset Management, The Gong Show:

A free market is one in which government intervention and regulation is limited to tax collection, and the enforcement of private ownership and contracts. A controlled market is one in which governments directly regulate how goods, services and labour are priced and sold – the dynamics of economic supply and demand are ignored. Then there is the gong show market. Until recently, this type of market has only been available to 1970s TV game shows. Yet today, this exceptional form of dark comedy has been adopted by our global leaders as an acceptable approach to dealing with the World’s debt crisis. Unfortunately for every human being that fully grasps the enormity of the financial problems facing the World today, the reason for their dissatisfaction with the response from our global leaders is simply due to them not knowing the rules of the Gong Show. For your convenience, we provide them as follows...

Full report below:


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bigdumbnugly's picture


chuck barris is > ben bernanke

wang's picture

and truth is stranger than fiction from Bloomberg (yes Bloomberg  News)

Wall Street Aristocracy Got $1.2T in Secret Loans

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Serious gap in the Gong Show analysis -- missing is any mention that a regular judge on the show was a kinder, gentler (sort of) version of "The JP Morgue":

Or maybe we could say this is an instance of a combined homonym/pseudonym causing a case of mistaken identity?

zorba THE GREEK's picture

The U.S. markets are the gong show and the European markets are Monty Python's Flying Circus.

tickhound's picture

The Price is Wrong, bitch.

IQ 145's picture

Plus 100. That is exactly the right answer. the Price is Wrong, bitch. But it's the only price we got, and we have to work with it; which is a bitch. Bleeding is alright, but whinning will get you nowhere.

WmMcK's picture

Gene, Gene, Gene, the dancing machine -- bitchez.

gwar5's picture

OMG! I feel old, I remember. Along with the unknown comic (who was pretty damn funny), and the girls scuking popsicles.


Creepy Lurker's picture

Damn, you beat me to it! Was first thing I thought of too. lol

Scottj88's picture

They are all algorithms at this point anyways.....

Physical gold is the safehaven.... bonds are the bagholders.

In just the last 6 months, Gold has made new all time highs against the US Dollar (USD), The Euro (EUR), The Canadian Dollar (CAD), The Australian Dollar (AUD), The Great Britain Pound (GBP), and now even the safe-haven currency (amongst other currencies), the Swiss Franc (CHF).  With the recent ascent of the Swiss Franc Gold Prices to new record highs, it may very well mark the start of the great super-cycle in gold, in which all currencies fall against gold.  This Gold breakout to highs in all major currencies at roughly the same time with the backdrop of a worldwide sovereign debt crises seems to be the perfect scenario for a swift gold appreciation, and subsequent currency devaluations (inflation).

bid the soldiers shoot's picture

The cemetery is the safehaven.

Got a pulse? Bagholder

gwar5's picture

Dark but true.


"I couldn't find the time for Death, so he kindly stopped for me." -- Emily Dickinson, spinster, poet, 19th century rapper.






IQ 145's picture

People tell me, how the fuck you get up a 3:00 AM in the morning for this market shit; I tell them, there's plenty of time to sleep when you're buried. What did you want me to do, get a job? thanks, anyway.

Newsboy's picture

The lazy posters on ZH all look like the Unknown Comic.

g's picture

it is a pile of shit bitchez

IQ 145's picture

Plus fify. My Mentor in Futures Trading once told me, and he was completely serious, "I'd trade dogshit, if there was charting service for it and a clearing market".  Absolutely. No whinning allowed.

spekulatn's picture

From Bloomberg today,


Wall Street Aristocracy Got $1.2 Trillion in Fed’s Secret Loans

IMA5U's picture

so the lesson here is if you to be rich and influence politicans, work on wall street


or fund politicians to destroy wall street.  but to do that you have to be rich

kind of a circular argument 

Creepy Lurker's picture

It's a club, and you're not in it. That's all you need to know.

IQ 145's picture

Attribution; George Carlin; "it's a big club, and you're not in it". (from memory). I don't care, as lone people buy and sell shit for emotional reasons, I'll do alright; and when I don't, there's always the diaper and daytime TV home.

Caviar Emptor's picture

New TV Soap Opera starring Ben Bernank: All My Zombies! 

We got zombie US banks, and zombie Euro banks, now even small Greek banks. But don't kid yourself we don't also have : Zombie Wall Street (how long can they go without more QE or bailouts), even Zombie Sovereigns (Greece, Ireland, Portugal, and joining the family: Spain Italy Belgium).  And we'll soon have zombie munis and zombie sates, zombie pension and money market funds, zombie auto makers, zombie political parties, zombie military......fill in your favorite zombie!

Hulk's picture

Night of the dying monetary system. Not a low budget film this time...

Mongrel's picture

Well, Hank Paulson does look like Frankenstein . . .

cpnscarlet's picture

....and Tim Geithner as Uncle Charlie

Kat's picture


Somehow I think you must know this deep inside, but there is not such thing as a "controlled market". 

There is a market (which implies that people are free to come to their own privae arrangements) and there is top down control (which implies that nobody is truly free to transact in a way that is most beneficial to them - except the politically connected).

Markets are either free or they are distorted to the point where they are not truly markets anymore.

We have the latter.

jakethesnake76's picture

I'd be fer Chuck anyday over the current bunch on either side..

gwar5's picture

That was Delish! Yes, I read all of it.


I am actually very very happy to know that Chuck Barris is in charge of this Gong Show. No offense to Benny, but I was afraid Benny Hill must still be alive.



wawazat's picture

It is blank where the full report should be, can anyone help? Thanks

ramirez's picture

A zombie market... time for it to rest in pieces and let the real gold-backed economy enter the stage room.

wang's picture
wang (not verified) Aug 21, 2011 8:34 PM

meanwhile Barack and Mitch on a happy holiday (via drudge)

I am Jobe's picture

I wish the company I am working for gave me 6 or 7 weeks of vacation. WTF, Obama has not worked a day in his life.

IQ 145's picture

Why did you vote for him? Why would you refuse to vote for a working business man? Because you "know" business men are "bad"; the TV told you so. Congratulations, you are the problem.

RKDS's picture

How about because so many "businessmen" fund lobbyists that write anti-American laws to fuck up this country?  What a total surprise that voters flip a coin at the polls, heads for giant douche and tails for turd sandwich...

KingdomKum's picture

we few, we happy few, we band of silver holders  !

IQ 145's picture

 THIS IS SPARTA! Bet your ass; we're a happy band of brothers.

Miss anthrope's picture

Tyler, You are hot, I honestly wish I could take you in the back and take out my frustration on you!

IQ 145's picture

Do you ever vacation in Hawaii? I have an advanced degree in frustration relief. Guaranteed results.

barroter's picture

Wonder where the Unknown Comic fits into all of this? Ben Baby! Ben Baby! Ben baby!

As I see it, capitalism is dead or soon will be. Free markets, private markets or whatever you call them are a sad joke now. I think the last to comprehend this are our monied elites who cannot believe they killed this game with their own hands. I bet they're like some ardent Communist who refused to believe the Berlin Wall fell and kept clinging to their beliefs, and that it's just a minor blip.

So, elites, call up Gorbachev and ask his advice on how to cope with a system that you loved for years comes crashing down. He knows! Gorby can counsel you well.

Just because the Soviet system fell doesn't mean capitalism is immune from anything.  We're seeing our own elite manager-surgeons killing capitalism while under the knife. 

Koffieshop's picture

Capitalism is not dead. Neither is socialism or keynesianism or whatever.

What is dying is globalism.
It's becoming clear to everyone that there need to be limits to how much stuff is interconnected and co-dependent.
The corrupt TBTF culture has spawned this global shitstorm. If any entity could go bankrupt in an orderly way, all would be well.

healey's picture

Uh, a truly free-market is where there is no government. f

I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

A Gong Show market/  Hey, I resemble that remark!  Finally, a post after my own fart!  Hey look, I was told if I made it in the Gong Show I could get a Golden Sack.  I said that's great because all I have is a Brain Sack and half the time my head's in the dark.  People ask me how long this money printing can go on and I say as long as you can make paper I've got a roof over my head! 

Did anybody ever stop to notice that the regular judge on the Gong Show was none other than "JP Morgan"?

now that's not funny....