Japanese Girl-Band Wants You (To Buy Japanese Government Bonds)

Tyler Durden's picture

Whether it was Captain America's roadshow or Uncle-Sam 'wanting' your help, the US always seemed to maintain some semblance of class when propagandizing its citizens into buying its government bonds. Whether for patriotic or xenophobic reasons, it appeared to work. Japan, though, with its increasingly desperate demographic situation, deficits, downgrades, and well, general malaise of Koo/Keynesian-stuffed economic stagnation has turned to the next best thing - the all-girl band AKB48. As The Telegraph notes today, the all-female pop group will headline a summer campaign for "reconstruction bonds" aimed at financing projects in regions hammered by last year's quake-tsunami disaster. The debt campaign will see AKB48 - comprising about 90 performers, ranging in age from early teens to mid-20s - joined by sumo wrestling's champion Hakuho and female football star Homare Sawa, Japan's Jiji press agency reported. The group's bubblegum pop and synchronized dancing has proved a huge hit with young girls. Perhaps more disturbingly (and why Japan chose them maybe?) - running the gamut from girl-next-door to sultry temptress, the band also has a substantial male following - many of whom are older - who support a vast merchandising industry. Japan has the industrialized world's worst public debt, amounting to more than twice its gross domestic product - topping hard-hit eurozone countries including Greece, which have drawn fire from foreign investors over their fiscal management. On the bright side, AKB48 have also promoted the government's suicide prevention program and appeared in a farm ministry rice campaign.

All of this makes us wonder - Forget AKB48, how long until AK47 in musical, or primarily otherwise, format is used to encourage lending to sovereigns all around the "developed" world?


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Aziz's picture

Bullish for the music industry — who needs people to buy records when the government can pay you to write propaganda songs?

slaughterer's picture

Foo Fighters Concert Tour for 10-Year Treasuries is in the planning stages.  


metastar's picture

The government of Japan is now resorting to Visual Combat.

Who would have imagined???

Banzai7, your the inspiration of a nation!

malikai's picture

I can summarize this video for those like me who can't watch it without dangrous vomiting:

20something Japanese girls - No cup.

redpill's picture

Really?  Looks like an octopus.

malikai's picture

Are you guys blind? It's a black dress..

Harlequin001's picture

I think you're supposed to inflate them with a bicycle pump...

metastar's picture

That's some serious Japanese Vampire Squid Action.

Time to buy J-Bonds!

fourchan's picture

id hit that like the fist of an angry god!

The Big Ching-aso's picture



Octopussy.   Bonds and such.

Golden Boy's picture

I bet she survived the tsunami.


Too soon?

LongSoupLine's picture

you're all idiots...don't you see the gold chain??

Antarctico's picture

Fu-u...wow! Yea, I'm a real sucker for that pic! ;D

Mercury's picture

Did someone buy the first 762?

The Big Ching-aso's picture



I think I see some stains.

Gully Foyle's picture


Dude, signed collectors edition.

A bunch of someones bought all 1000, and they are still in the bags after a single read.

No stains on these.

Not even on the bag.

giggler123's picture

We're not all in the same time zone guys, morning wood to all...

AccreditedEYE's picture

Kyle Bass would give this 2 thumbs up... LMAO

sgt_doom's picture

Definitely prefer both the Nipponese grrl band and the above trio to this:


(Although I do plan on passing on to the Mutants Gen. Powell's book tour itinerary.  Just in case. . .)

Cupid Stunt's picture

Bukkake Bonds.


It`s the future....

HarryM's picture

All your bonds are belong to us

Hulk's picture

Japanese Millf's are much better. Filled out and plumped up a bit, now thats a woman !!!

Gully Foyle's picture


Asian women have no ass.

Even white chick ass is more round.

It's the only thing detracting from the Asian chick myth, the flat as a board ass.

malikai's picture

I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong with your sweeping generalization.

Randall Cabot's picture

What's the Asian chick myth?

Manthong's picture

That in over 75 years of western processed food availability, there has not been a filler effect. 

Cosimo de Medici's picture

If the closest you've gotten to Asia is buying Rice-a-Roni at Safeway, I can see how you might say that.

As a red-blooded possessor of just the right number of Y chromosomes, and an appreciative fan of all of God's creations, I respectfully disagree.

BooMushroom's picture

Watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNg3mcjhq9w and then you'll agree with me: if AKB48 came to my house, it probably wouldn't take them too long to convince me to buy some JGBs. They could probably even do it without resorting to BJs. FTW!

malikai's picture

I'd rather have an ice pick in my ear than listen to that crap.

Overfed's picture

I'm waiting for WB7 to chop pedobear images into a few of those videos. That would be some funny shit!

MsCreant's picture

Accurate would be to the point.

Can you guys let them grow up some before you stick things in them?

dark pools of soros's picture

young twat is the greatest renewable energy source on the planet - build some monuments of this shit

CvlDobd's picture

Gary Glitter is all over this, I'm sure of it!

HarryM's picture

Word is they're giving out panties with large bond purchases

skepticCarl's picture



The debt storm, it rages and swirls

Who knows what finally unfurls?

So to avoid revolution

They propose this solution...

A band made of Japanese girls!

bank guy in Brussels's picture

Rather than Japan 'suddenly' following WB7, I think what we see here, is one more offshoot of the general cultural background of some of WB7's more inspired work.

Am wondering WTF is the deal here with ZeroHedge all of a sudden getting all Calvinist-Puritanical on us, suggesting that it is « disturbing » because men of all ages enjoy seeing pretty singing and dancing girls in their 20s?

How is this different from Western men ogling all the singing and dancing girls on movies and television, going back to things like the Busby Berkeley days, and leggy high-heels dancing films like 'Gold Diggers of 1935'?

Has ZeroHedge joined Mitt Romney's Mormons, or the fundamentalist zealot fanatics of America?

God loves a pretty girl, that's why God made so many ... and some young women really enjoy being pretty and having men of all ages appreciate them.

And for the 'older males', there is an art to growing older well, being a gentleman ... for which one of the rewards is that even young pretty women appreciate grown-up men, too. I have pretty female friends in their 20s who kiss my cheeks whenever we meet ... but we kiss a lot here (3 kisses is common Belgian greeting).

And one of the gentlemanly arts, too, is to also smile at women who aren't pretty - I think H L Mencken recommended this as a way for his friends to honour his memory after he was gone.

CPL's picture

Two internet things I've never understood fully.


The interest in stick figure J-Pop girls that are mediocremarkable at best...and fully grown straight men that follow my little pny (aka /b/ronies)...


I'd trade a 10 year t-bill to see the Foo Fighters.

BooMushroom's picture

1. If you have to ask, I don't think I could explain it to you.
2. I have also asked this, and I don't think they'll ever be able to explain it to me.

Gully Foyle's picture


You overlooked the obvious to 2, in the closet Gay.

Much like men who moisturize, exfoliate, get pedicures, get manicures, and participate in other chick like activities.

CPL's picture

Naw most of them are incredible savages online and straight as arrows, I've thought it's an ironic thing, but they geniunely like MLP.


Like there are birds in the sky, they are part of the internet datasphere.  Still don't get it.

MsCreant's picture

I'm going to try. I had a male friend with long hair to his waist who wore a skirt (yes a kilt), fishnet stockings (ripped), and army boots. It was one of those things, no one said shit to him. He would kick your ass if you did. You knew this as a certainty. It is a kind of confidence you just can't fake. 

He was sexy as all get out. Great guy. He rescued me more than once from unwanted attention.

Some of the MLP guys may be like that. They like what they like, some of it is considered fem, but they don't give a flying fuck what you think. They are real men. 

Bringin It's picture

Western dichotomies.  BTW, you're either with us or against us.