Japanese Girl-Band Wants You (To Buy Japanese Government Bonds)

Tyler Durden's picture


Whether it was Captain America's roadshow or Uncle-Sam 'wanting' your help, the US always seemed to maintain some semblance of class when propagandizing its citizens into buying its government bonds. Whether for patriotic or xenophobic reasons, it appeared to work. Japan, though, with its increasingly desperate demographic situation, deficits, downgrades, and well, general malaise of Koo/Keynesian-stuffed economic stagnation has turned to the next best thing - the all-girl band AKB48. As The Telegraph notes today, the all-female pop group will headline a summer campaign for "reconstruction bonds" aimed at financing projects in regions hammered by last year's quake-tsunami disaster. The debt campaign will see AKB48 - comprising about 90 performers, ranging in age from early teens to mid-20s - joined by sumo wrestling's champion Hakuho and female football star Homare Sawa, Japan's Jiji press agency reported. The group's bubblegum pop and synchronized dancing has proved a huge hit with young girls. Perhaps more disturbingly (and why Japan chose them maybe?) - running the gamut from girl-next-door to sultry temptress, the band also has a substantial male following - many of whom are older - who support a vast merchandising industry. Japan has the industrialized world's worst public debt, amounting to more than twice its gross domestic product - topping hard-hit eurozone countries including Greece, which have drawn fire from foreign investors over their fiscal management. On the bright side, AKB48 have also promoted the government's suicide prevention program and appeared in a farm ministry rice campaign.

All of this makes us wonder - Forget AKB48, how long until AK47 in musical, or primarily otherwise, format is used to encourage lending to sovereigns all around the "developed" world?


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Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:23 | 2462729 Aziz
Aziz's picture

Bullish for the music industry — who needs people to buy records when the government can pay you to write propaganda songs?

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:28 | 2462756 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Foo Fighters Concert Tour for 10-Year Treasuries is in the planning stages.  


Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:30 | 2462768 metastar
metastar's picture

The government of Japan is now resorting to Visual Combat.

Who would have imagined???

Banzai7, your the inspiration of a nation!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:41 | 2462814 malikai
malikai's picture

I can summarize this video for those like me who can't watch it without dangrous vomiting:

20something Japanese girls - No cup.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:42 | 2462828 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:45 | 2462842 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

What, no tentacle porn?

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:07 | 2462932 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:13 | 2462951 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

That's a bloke!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:18 | 2462974 redpill
redpill's picture

Really?  Looks like an octopus.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:19 | 2462979 malikai
malikai's picture

Are you guys blind? It's a black dress..

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:37 | 2462992 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

I think you're supposed to inflate them with a bicycle pump...

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 14:45 | 2463266 metastar
metastar's picture

That's some serious Japanese Vampire Squid Action.

Time to buy J-Bonds!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 19:57 | 2464068 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture


Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:23 | 2462995 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

waxing areolae ?

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 14:41 | 2463263 fourchan
fourchan's picture

id hit that like the fist of an angry god!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:42 | 2463063 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



Octopussy.   Bonds and such.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:33 | 2463038 Golden Boy
Golden Boy's picture

I bet she survived the tsunami.


Too soon?

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 14:23 | 2463185 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

you're all idiots...don't you see the gold chain??

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 16:24 | 2463621 Antarctico
Antarctico's picture

Fu-u...wow! Yea, I'm a real sucker for that pic! ;D

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:47 | 2462851 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Did someone buy the first 762?

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:48 | 2462858 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



I think I see some stains.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:00 | 2462909 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


Dude, signed collectors edition.

A bunch of someones bought all 1000, and they are still in the bags after a single read.

No stains on these.

Not even on the bag.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 15:34 | 2463472 giggler123
giggler123's picture

We're not all in the same time zone guys, morning wood to all...

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:54 | 2462887 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

Kyle Bass would give this 2 thumbs up... LMAO

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:45 | 2463079 sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Definitely prefer both the Nipponese grrl band and the above trio to this:


(Although I do plan on passing on to the Mutants Gen. Powell's book tour itinerary.  Just in case. . .)

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 18:02 | 2463844 Cupid Stunt
Cupid Stunt's picture

Bukkake Bonds.


It`s the future....

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:45 | 2462843 HarryM
HarryM's picture

All your bonds are belong to us

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:49 | 2462865 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Japanese Millf's are much better. Filled out and plumped up a bit, now thats a woman !!!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:05 | 2462912 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


Asian women have no ass.

Even white chick ass is more round.

It's the only thing detracting from the Asian chick myth, the flat as a board ass.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:10 | 2462945 malikai
malikai's picture

I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong with your sweeping generalization.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 14:04 | 2463134 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

What's the Asian chick myth?

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 15:32 | 2463468 Manthong
Manthong's picture

That in over 75 years of western processed food availability, there has not been a filler effect. 

Sat, 05/26/2012 - 02:45 | 2464716 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

If the closest you've gotten to Asia is buying Rice-a-Roni at Safeway, I can see how you might say that.

As a red-blooded possessor of just the right number of Y chromosomes, and an appreciative fan of all of God's creations, I respectfully disagree.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:41 | 2462820 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

Watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNg3mcjhq9w and then you'll agree with me: if AKB48 came to my house, it probably wouldn't take them too long to convince me to buy some JGBs. They could probably even do it without resorting to BJs. FTW!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:46 | 2462849 malikai
malikai's picture

I'd rather have an ice pick in my ear than listen to that crap.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:03 | 2462921 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I'm waiting for WB7 to chop pedobear images into a few of those videos. That would be some funny shit!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:23 | 2462997 Matt
Matt's picture

Too old!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:31 | 2463032 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Accurate would be to the point.

Can you guys let them grow up some before you stick things in them?

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 16:49 | 2463694 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

young twat is the greatest renewable energy source on the planet - build some monuments of this shit

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 14:04 | 2463140 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

Gary Glitter is all over this, I'm sure of it!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:42 | 2462827 HarryM
HarryM's picture

Word is they're giving out panties with large bond purchases

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:06 | 2462930 skepticCarl
skepticCarl's picture



The debt storm, it rages and swirls

Who knows what finally unfurls?

So to avoid revolution

They propose this solution...

A band made of Japanese girls!

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:58 | 2463118 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Rather than Japan 'suddenly' following WB7, I think what we see here, is one more offshoot of the general cultural background of some of WB7's more inspired work.

Am wondering WTF is the deal here with ZeroHedge all of a sudden getting all Calvinist-Puritanical on us, suggesting that it is « disturbing » because men of all ages enjoy seeing pretty singing and dancing girls in their 20s?

How is this different from Western men ogling all the singing and dancing girls on movies and television, going back to things like the Busby Berkeley days, and leggy high-heels dancing films like 'Gold Diggers of 1935'?

Has ZeroHedge joined Mitt Romney's Mormons, or the fundamentalist zealot fanatics of America?

God loves a pretty girl, that's why God made so many ... and some young women really enjoy being pretty and having men of all ages appreciate them.

And for the 'older males', there is an art to growing older well, being a gentleman ... for which one of the rewards is that even young pretty women appreciate grown-up men, too. I have pretty female friends in their 20s who kiss my cheeks whenever we meet ... but we kiss a lot here (3 kisses is common Belgian greeting).

And one of the gentlemanly arts, too, is to also smile at women who aren't pretty - I think H L Mencken recommended this as a way for his friends to honour his memory after he was gone.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 21:22 | 2464251 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

I have to second you Bank Guy.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:40 | 2462811 CPL
CPL's picture

Two internet things I've never understood fully.


The interest in stick figure J-Pop girls that are mediocremarkable at best...and fully grown straight men that follow my little pny (aka /b/ronies)...


I'd trade a 10 year t-bill to see the Foo Fighters.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:44 | 2462838 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

1. If you have to ask, I don't think I could explain it to you.
2. I have also asked this, and I don't think they'll ever be able to explain it to me.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:52 | 2462873 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


You overlooked the obvious to 2, in the closet Gay.

Much like men who moisturize, exfoliate, get pedicures, get manicures, and participate in other chick like activities.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:14 | 2462959 CPL
CPL's picture

Naw most of them are incredible savages online and straight as arrows, I've thought it's an ironic thing, but they geniunely like MLP.


Like there are birds in the sky, they are part of the internet datasphere.  Still don't get it.

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 13:41 | 2463061 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I'm going to try. I had a male friend with long hair to his waist who wore a skirt (yes a kilt), fishnet stockings (ripped), and army boots. It was one of those things, no one said shit to him. He would kick your ass if you did. You knew this as a certainty. It is a kind of confidence you just can't fake. 

He was sexy as all get out. Great guy. He rescued me more than once from unwanted attention.

Some of the MLP guys may be like that. They like what they like, some of it is considered fem, but they don't give a flying fuck what you think. They are real men. 

Fri, 05/25/2012 - 21:20 | 2464244 Bringin It
Bringin It's picture

Western dichotomies.  BTW, you're either with us or against us.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!