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JC Penney President Mike Francis Came, Saw, Collected $10 Million, And Quit Nine Months Later

Tyler Durden's picture


If anyone is wondering why the darling stock of Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson, for whom every collapse of JCP is a buying gift from god, namely JCPenney, is plunging after hours, it is because the company's president, Michael Francis, hired October 4, 2011, has just quit. To wit: "J. C. Penney Company, Inc. ("jcpenney") (JCP) today announced that Michael Francis will be leaving the Company, effective today. Chief Executive Officer Ron Johnson will assume direct responsibility and oversight of the company's marketing and merchandising functions." And to think that just 9 months ago the company CEO Ron Johnson announced, that "I am thrilled to welcome Michael to our team... He is an extremely talented executive with the vision and courage to re-imagine the department store experience. His ability to innovate and deep understanding of the industry will be invaluable as we set out to transform J.C. Penney into America's favorite store." And while his ability to do anything else appears to have been a dud, his ability to read the fine print in his contract, especially where it talks about his perks, was second to none. Because despite leaving just 9 months after his hiring, Francis is entitled to collect a whopping $9 million in pro-rated signing bonus (alongside $100,000/month in salary): all in all - a tidy package of $10 million for shooting the breeze while observing a sinking retail ship. Not bad for a company whose stock has just plunged to September 2010 levels.

From the firm's proxy statement:

Michael R. Francis.  Mr. Francis’s offer letter, dated October 3, 2011, provided for the following:     

  • Base salary of $1,200,000
  • Participation in our Management Incentive Compensation Program, with a target bonus equal to 100% of base salary, with a maximum bonus equal to 200% of base salary (prorated for 2011)
  • An inducement equity award of 1,000,000 RSUs granted on November 16, 2011
    • One-third of the RSUs will vest on November 16, 2015, November 16, 2016 and November 16, 2017 as long as Mr. Francis remains continuously employed by us
    • RSUs will pro rata vest if Mr. Francis is terminated by us without cause prior to vesting
    • RSUs will fully vest if, within two years of a change in control, his employment is terminated other than for cause or if he terminates his employment for good reason
  • A sign-on cash bonus of $12,000,000
    • Mr. Francis must reimburse us for a prorated portion of the bonus if he voluntarily terminates his employment for any reason other than death or disability or if we terminate his employment for cause prior to October 4, 2012
  • Participation in our 2011 Change in Control Plan
  • Participation in certain perquisites and benefits as an executive officer of the Company

With such generous shareholders, is it any wonder the stock has collapsed on the news? That, and of course the stamp of disapproval that the now former President has given the firm.

Here is the stock probing fresh 52 week lows.


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Mon, 06/18/2012 - 16:55 | 2537393 battle axe
battle axe's picture


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 16:59 | 2537399 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture


Is that all you can say?

Dont you wanna fuck him?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:06 | 2537432 battle axe
battle axe's picture

LULZBank; Ok, how about COCK SUCKING SCUMBAG. Does that do it for you?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:10 | 2537447 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Thats an improvement.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:24 | 2537496 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:56 | 2537583 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Wasn't there a post here recently where someones newsletter or something was pumping JCP?




Mon, 06/18/2012 - 21:13 | 2538004 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Where is the comment from MDB to show that this is all bullish and that we definitely live in a bizarro world.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 00:56 | 2538586 redpill
redpill's picture

If some dumbshit retailer wanted to hand me a $12 million check for doing nothing I'd take it too!  The shareholders shouldn't be mad at the guy who cashed in the winning lottery ticket, they should be pissed at the board that gave it to him.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:28 | 2537506 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

My guess is he was fired. One day after Father's Day and I have a feeling the JCPenny real life gay dads' ad didn't help sales much, plus it pissed off a few people.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:42 | 2537543 Mad Mad Woman
Mad Mad Woman's picture

Actually the gay ad was brilliant. It'll drive more consumers thru their doors. Controversial things always draw criticism from the less enlightened people.

Memo to JCP - I'm available for the President's position and I'm not that expensive and I'll generate results. Seeking nice bennies and $1.5 million a year. I can start tomorrow.

Why do corporations keep hiring bozos? It's very costly to the bottom line.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:48 | 2537557 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Moreover it will bring more free air time to JCP.  Attention is always good in this case.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:58 | 2537592 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

The problem I see is that no gay dudes I know would be caught dead wearing any of the shit JCP stocks in the store. 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:38 | 2537693 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

@ MadMadwoman

That gay ad was gay (as in stupid). Not a good ad for their brand. You can say things without really saying things, but for jcp I think they were way off on appealing to trendy shoppers.


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:42 | 2537701 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

That pic looks like a Tim Tebow Filipino foreskin drive to me. 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 21:17 | 2538018 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Isn't that Ashton Kutcher in the center being piggy-backed?

No wonder he left Demi Moore.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:55 | 2537578 financial apoca...
financial apocalyptic contagion's picture

shareholders are to blame also

why the fuck would you not dump this piece of shit when scum of the earth like this faggot who likes faggot ads, is running the company?

Tilson bought JCP--- that should be the biggest hint to exit

wtf 10million when i cant even afford a few ounces of silver-- in a few yrs people will be hunting bastards like this Francis fellow all across Argentina 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 22:17 | 2538191 Mr. Mandelbrot
Mr. Mandelbrot's picture

For a bullion bounty, I'm in . . .

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 22:30 | 2538233 Doomer
Doomer's picture

@Mad Mad Woman

So "the gay ad was brilliant", but you want corporations like JCP to stop "hiring bozos"?  Sounds like your IQ qualifies you to collect at least $1.5 mil a year.

The only plan that makes sense here is to liquidate this rotting corpse of a company and distribute the proceeds to shareholders before the vultures have completely devoured it.



Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:53 | 2537568 geoffb
geoffb's picture

So the strategy was to lure gay people to shop at JCPenney en masse? WTF? I could give them better ideas than that for way less than 10 million.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:00 | 2537595 Colonel
Colonel's picture

One of the problems with that strategy is that boomer habits and nostalgia can't keep the JCP ship afloat. And there is alot more boomers than flamers.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:40 | 2537697 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

They should have sold the shit that people wear to shop at Wal Mart. Now thats a plan worth $10 Mil

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:46 | 2537709 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

Sources say Ellen Degenerate has the inside track on the newly "vacant" CEO position

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 20:19 | 2537905 URZIZMINE
URZIZMINE's picture

Shouldn't the title read " He collected $10 mil then came"?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 20:31 | 2537920 StockMarketGrim...
StockMarketGrimReaper's picture

Based on the ethnicity of the kids in that advert, I'm wondering where the gay couple got those kids. Perhaps there's a new drive-through adoption store in Tijuana next to the shop that sells black velvet paintings of Rambo,  Terminator, and the Incredible Hulk? Or maybe the kids in the photo are supposed to be the shoppers at JCP, not the dads? The kids certainly look more like the JCP customers; definitely not the dads.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 21:29 | 2538045 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

*clutches pearls*

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:36 | 2537686 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

Hey, You could have been a Chick. 50 50 chance.  Wait, that is dissing gays.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:41 | 2537441 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Concerned shareholder....

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:10 | 2537449 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

simi scumbag

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:19 | 2537483 grid-b-gone
grid-b-gone's picture

He may have been pushed more than jumped. Johnson has been adding Apple buddies recently and Mr. Francis, promoting his "Target way", probably doesn't quite fit in.

He'll get another chance somewhere else if he wants one, especially if the remaining team can't bring the Apple magic into traditional retail.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:34 | 2537522 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Didn't this scumbag work for Apple before?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:38 | 2537533 flying dutchmen
flying dutchmen's picture

give they guy a break-- its tough surviving on 10 mill..... however if it was equity option they are out of money anyway.. so the number is a lot lower...

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:40 | 2537538 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Only in America!

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 16:57 | 2537398 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

JCP forgot that the only time people ever shop is when there are 50%+ sales.  Everyday low prices only help if people are expected to regularly shop vs continously wait and look for the next massive price dump.  JCP is in the wrong place at the wrong time, it tailors to the middle class which is non-existant.  Either upgrade the merchandise for the Chinese and Middle Easterners or start accepting WIC checks....

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:07 | 2537439 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Looks like they forgot to give the president his 50% off on his BONUS. 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:11 | 2537454 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I bet they could boost sales this month if they offered a shareholder discount on buckets of tar and bags of feathers.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:28 | 2537505 grid-b-gone
grid-b-gone's picture

That is probably the case. Francis wanted the low price focus, which only resulted in squeezed margins. The remaining former Apple team will probably shift toward a more unique product mix that can command a higher margin and not compete so directly with the Wal-Mart and Target space.

Just as with traders and investors, there is a price to pay for being wrong, even if you're right and the timing is a little off. Of course, $10 mil doesn't look like much of a price to pay, but as damaged goods, his total potential career comp for being wrong may have just dropped by $50 mil or more.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:07 | 2537614 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

He's not worth the 10 he got, let alone 50 more in the future.


One of the biggest problems with business is the misalocation of capital at the top.  Here's a another company that relies on people having money to spend, but is just another shell operation to funnel money to a handfull of people.  The outsourcing has run it's course. 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 20:10 | 2537880 grid-b-gone
grid-b-gone's picture

Executive recruiters pick the biggest money talent with the longest string of successes they can find and pay what they need to.

They can't just pick the best, promising talent that will do the job for $500K and some stock options because they don't know how to find that person. This is executive recruitment, not executive development. The recruitment process is about not making a big mistake so you, as the recruiter, keep your job.

When Sculley axed Steve Jobs, how many companies were knocking on Steve's door the next day with a $10 million annual contract? Yet, those same companies would have paid $100 million per year to get him once he was back on the winning track.

This is one reason why small companies regularly beat large ones. It is common for a successful small company owners to say, "I'm doing a job that I never would have been hired to do." Phenomena like these are reasons Ziggy and Dilbert are funny and true at the same time.

And those surviving former Apple execs at JCP... do you really think they are the most-qualified people to turn around a struggling retail company in a highly price-competitive market? Did coming from a company where the product dominates its market and sells itself prepare them for the JCP turn-around? It doesn't matter. Like any worker looking to get hired, it's all about making them think you have the magic beans.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:59 | 2537853 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

couldn't agree more, this was the no brainer short of the century at 40+, probably still is....

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 16:58 | 2537400 pods
pods's picture

Lighten up Francis!

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:02 | 2537421 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

He still can't touch the Peter Kraus record of $25 million for 3 months.... ameteur. 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 16:59 | 2537407 Joshua_D
Joshua_D's picture

You gotta get while the gettin's good.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:00 | 2537409 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

At least he was paid voluntarily with someone else's money, not mine.

And he probably generated about $3 million to the US Treasury, so I'm good with it.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:12 | 2537745 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

It ain't over yet.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:04 | 2537410 Rockfish
Rockfish's picture

Push red button. "That was Easy"

That cost about 300 jcp jobs


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:16 | 2537476 bdc63
bdc63's picture

... I suspect a WHOLE lot more than that ...

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:04 | 2537425's picture

...and Bernie Madoff throws his jail issued bed pan in disgust realizing you don't go to jail for this....

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:07 | 2537426 bdc63
bdc63's picture

do we blame it on the guy that collected the $10M, or the system that allowed such a contract to be written in the first place?

"board of directors" are broken.  it's a buddy system that failed the stock holders YEARS ago.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:14 | 2537467 Joshua_D
Joshua_D's picture

Right. I mean, if your local burger joint started serving crap burgers, would you keep buying and eating crap burgers? At some point the people, either the share holders or the consumers, have to stop buying the fracking crap burgers! Money talks.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:17 | 2537478 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

It goes beyond that.  Once the burger joint fails you need to make sure that the management and owners pay back the creditors.  Otherwise these fuckers will just get a taxpayer bailout.  

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:51 | 2537562 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

It hasn't stopped MackDonalds or "Yum" foods.
Lotsa 'Merikans love shit sammiches. And Doritotacos.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:15 | 2537472 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Good point and probably has something to do with management and shareholders no longer being reasponsible for paying back the creditors.  This was how it used to be YEARS ago. Now it seems that paying back the creditors of failed companies falls to the taxpayer.(SOCIALIZATION of PRIVATE losses)  Nothing changes until there are real consequences for bad behavior at all levels.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:49 | 2537715 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

Since most board of directors are guys, it must be a gay thing.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:05 | 2537427 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

sometimes I doubt this will ever end - too ugly, too sick to die...

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:06 | 2537429 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture

It takes talent to turn a thriving growing retail company around into a Dung pile.


Oink, oink!

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:06 | 2537430 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

Probably just wanted to spend more time with his family.  Bailing a sinking ship is time consuming.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:06 | 2537433 gimli
gimli's picture

Does this mean summer dresses won't be on sale this week?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:17 | 2537477 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

try the goodwill if the new ones are too expensive in your size

slewienomincs indicated this is bearish for the dividend and bullish for the beta

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:24 | 2537495 gimli
gimli's picture

Thx for the tip, I do look pretty in pink

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 21:32 | 2538054 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

Goodwill is the shit I get all my work clothes there for 5-10% of what my coworkers pay

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:06 | 2537435 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

9 months ago the company CEO Ron Johnson announced, that "I am thrilled to welcome Michael to our team... He is an extremely talented executive with the vision and courage to re-imagine the department store experience. His ability to innovate and deep understanding of the industry will be invaluable as we set out to transform J.C. Penney into America's favorite store."

Michael Francis: "FUK DAT SHIT. IMMA CHILL."

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:06 | 2537436 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

More proof that it pays to be a Wall St./Washington "insider".


Most of these guys make out like bandits, come hell or high water.

Nice separation payments, health care benefits for life.

Heh, that guy will take off a couple of years and land somewhere else for another $9 million package.

Any wonder why classic car auction prices are going through the roof?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:19 | 2537485 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

RobotTrader, our insider.  

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 21:30 | 2538046 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Beginning to sound like he's channeling MillionDollarBonus, or is it the other way around.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:30 | 2537437 Sockeye
Sockeye's picture

OK, now I just want to punch something.  

Edited to remove reference to something I would never actually do. I'm just in a really pissy mood and this shit doesn't help. 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:09 | 2537438 Conman
Conman's picture

Where's roboturd - he loves the retails.


*edit* spoke to soon there he is. /waves/ Hay there.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:30 | 2537501 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Hay" there?  Are you perhaps implying that RobotTrader is a straw man, a Wall Street Scarecrow, or a stuffed shirt? (wink, wink)

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 21:31 | 2538048 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Maybe he's one of the dude's in the gay JCP ad.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:08 | 2537440 joemayo
joemayo's picture

"Cheap fabric, and dim lighting.  That's how you move merchandise."

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:25 | 2537468 bdc63
bdc63's picture

lol.  so true.  but you forgot "has-been designer names" and "really shitty store locations"

the 2 jcp locations that I know of here in Maryland you need 'drive by shooting' insurance just to get within 5 miles of them.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:40 | 2537515 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

And facilitates the shoplifting of leather jackets.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:09 | 2537443 Rockfish
Rockfish's picture

In other news, Groupon ahas announced the hire of a   an extremely talented executive with the vision and courage to re-imagine the department store experience.......................hahahah

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:10 | 2537445 SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

Remember what I said about a week a go about JCP laying off employees in Los Angeles? Looks like he knew to bail out quick, still overpayed and should not receive his bonus, douchebag!

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 23:25 | 2538415 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Oh yeah, now I remember when SemperFord talked about JCP in LA laying off employees.  Most everyone here remembers exactly what they were doing when that happened; kinda like when Elvis took a digger, or when Sophia's tits fell out on Johnny Carson, or when Chuck Norris kicked Chinaman's ass.   I seem to recall it was right after LasVegas Dave's rant about not enough public funded sex-change facilities and right before one of Freddies rants about to many TeeVee's tuned to CNN at the airport. 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:10 | 2537451 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Accountability and performance-based wages are things that only the "little" people have to be concerned with.


Same as it ever was.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:11 | 2537453 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Can anyone explain to me why someone would invest in a company that is run by money spraying idiots?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:19 | 2537455 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

another retailer bites the dust,... america's 'Mall', seems to be traversing back to the quiet familiarization of main street USA --- where the air is fresh and the stroll fulfilling - where you can tune a happy whistle with the local, 'sparrow-in-the-treetop',... happy days are here again

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:18 | 2537648 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

That's a nice fantasy, but you're forgetting Walmart, the company that single-handedly killed Main Street.  Walmart isn't losing any money.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 12:21 | 2539816 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture


But, Walmart is the problem? The Walton's strong-armed every vendor/ manufacturer to become yuan competitive, therefore expeditiously expanding the 'american-made-brand' textile/manufacturing base offshore... and look at what we got as a tradeoff? No jobs, but a slightly lower cost product that we can't afford, seeing most hard-working american's were caught up in this one-way outsourcing manifesto... a bizarrio zeitgeist coup d`etat so to say...and now, perhaps forever working minimum wage jobs. That's a business model only the Oligarchies of the world would/ could foster! Makes me wanna puke, period!

Ps. Russian one-stop shopping... remember that?

Ps2. Walmart put Clinton in office and Hillary made good on the cross-border business deals. 

jmo thanks

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:12 | 2537458 Biggieshort
Biggieshort's picture

Nothing new here, just another CEO 'churn and burn".

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:13 | 2537462 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

 ZH was spot on claiming Ackman was just a shill pumping his book ! 

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:20 | 2537489 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Ackman, what investing prowess!  (In reality, an egostic Douche).

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:43 | 2537825 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Ackman is a smarmy little weasel douchebag too. I'd wish he takes it up the ass, but he'd probably like it

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:14 | 2537465 chet
chet's picture

Hey, you've got pay up for "top talent."  Not everyone can come in and surf porn for nine months while a company fails.  It takes a special level of entitlement only found among America's most elite business men.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:48 | 2537558 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

And the SEC.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:14 | 2537466 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

Eddie's first reaction will be, 'you mean he's available?'



Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:16 | 2537475 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

CEO of JCP is evidently a great job if you can get it.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:18 | 2537479 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Any thoughts on shorting commercial reits around here? If everyone is downsizing or just going bust are these reits holding up? Just curious.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:28 | 2537504 Colonel
Colonel's picture


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:18 | 2537480 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Don't ever recall paying a Penney's out of Mrs. Rainman's stack of this crew got to be screwed. On the other hand, I have no clue what is inside such a store.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:18 | 2537482 imbrbing
imbrbing's picture

Seems there are plenty of banker types out there, even in retail.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:19 | 2537484 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

with a crap hire like that, i would fire the ceo as well...

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:24 | 2537492 bdc63
bdc63's picture

Who's going to fire him ... the board?





Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:23 | 2537491 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

$10 million to use all lower case fonts and hire Ellen Degeneris as spokesperson?

He should be paying J.C. Penney, employees, and stock holders $10 million for his abject failure.

Yet another M.B.A. idiot fucks up another iconic brand and gets rewarded for it.

Gee, what's wrong with this economy?


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 20:39 | 2537945 potlatch
potlatch's picture

I hear he comes from good family.  One of his cousins went to Eton.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:24 | 2537494 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Isn't this guy who got rid of all those stupid coupons. He should have walked away with 90 million for that idea alone.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:25 | 2537498 dbTX
dbTX's picture

I would have done it for nine million

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:26 | 2537499 SheepleLOVEched...
SheepleLOVEcheddarbaybiscuits's picture

michael francis= lou pai......

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:26 | 2537500 Cheyenne
Cheyenne's picture

He eliminated employee commissions before he left. What a nozzle.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:29 | 2537509 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

They probably did a United Airlines and robbed the pension plan too.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:31 | 2537512 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Fuck it, I am CEO of JPM now, anybody can run this store.  Banzai gets a few million to re-do the corporate advertising.   Krasting can write the annual report.   Tyler can run the strategy meetings.  

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:31 | 2537514 Undecided
Undecided's picture


The 25 Most Dangerous People in Financial Media


Dam Tyler you got beat out by Max and Stacey lol,

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 22:33 | 2538245 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

Somone should tell Tyler, if he wants the No 1 Spot he should give up the Cigarettes and by a decent Suit.

BTW - No 10 for Bill (william bansai) is not bad for a struggling Artist.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:32 | 2537517 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Question: If i get the ceo position and kill all employees, sell every outlet and then collect my bonus; does that make me a bad person or a captain of industry?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:34 | 2537519 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Well...nine months is the gestation period after SCREWING something...F**K EVERY ONE OF THESE ASSHOLE SO-CALLED fact...F**K everyone on Whore Street and in WaShitOn...oh hell...F**K all the politicos in Europe, too...and...also...

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:47 | 2537552 tmosley
tmosley's picture

I wonder how much flesh he carved out of RobotTrader's ass?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:54 | 2537570 akak
akak's picture

With Ben Bernanke's turgid (if wizened) member firmly embedded within it, RobotLemming probably did not even notice the additional assgouging too much.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:47 | 2537553 use-ta-be-rich
Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:47 | 2537555 Manny
Manny's picture

I want a job like that. Screem the company and the hard working people who work for it for 9 full months and then move on with a 10 mill cheque.On second thoughts i won't be the right fit fro this job. I got something they call conscience!

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:48 | 2537556 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Oracle now up 8% after blowing out estimates and buying back more stock.


I guess Larry Ellison is going to build an even bigger yacht?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:50 | 2537561 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Go long yachts, bitchez.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:03 | 2537602 akak
akak's picture

Crap from RobotLemming's orifice now up 8% after blowing Ben Bernanke and buying more soon-to-crash stock.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:01 | 2537728 bdc63
bdc63's picture

thanks for the backward looking advice ... again ...

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 20:24 | 2537911 akak
akak's picture

You could maybe be on the roads to riches if you could combine RobotLemming's rear view mirror advice with AnAnonymous' time machine.  But then again, you might just end up having to try peddling Chinese citizenism to 15th century Easter Islanders (who wouldn't even have any roads to shit on, nor dogs to feast upon --- the horror!).

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 22:39 | 2538261 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

Hey Robotard - sit and listen (and learn)

When a Company buys back its own stock it tells you something. It see's no use nor does it have any plans for its free capital.

Sell on the up because a company that sits still is going backward at a rapid rate.



Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:49 | 2537559 themisanthrope
themisanthrope's picture

As an investor, I'm glad I didn't buy into the Ron Johnson magic. But as a customer (in general, not so much of JCP), I did like the no bullshit and round numbers pricing. Didn't think it would work, but I liked it.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:03 | 2537604 adr
adr's picture

The issue is everyone knew if you waited until the clearance sale you could get clothes 75% off. I bought three shirts, two pairs of pants, and a sport jacket for $55. The new pricing structure was lowerthan the old retail but higher than the sale prices.

The average markup on a cotton button down dress shirt is 600%. Maybe that is the problem with retail.

If you pay $5 for something you were trying to sell for $60, changing the price to $45 still isn't that great of a deal. JCP should have come clean and told the public how badly they have been shafted over the years. Then told them that they would buy better quality merchandise and sell the goods at a reasonable markup. Paying $8 for a shirt and selling it for $25.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:52 | 2537566 hedgehog9999
hedgehog9999's picture

They deserve to go bankrupt for managing the company this way.....!

and they will in time given what's coming , even well managed companies will struggle.

As for him, well, what do you expect, he's part of the 1%..............something we didn't know?


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:54 | 2537572 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Is Whitney Tilson still solvent?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:54 | 2537576 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

I'd shop there... if I could afford to shop.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:55 | 2537577 adr
adr's picture

JCP can hire me as president for $250k a year and I won't take stock options either. My only demand would be to liquidate the board and take the company private. If you want to be in business, run a business not a stock scam.

Employees would receive large performane bonuses. Direct commisions would not be reinstated, but paid out at the department level. Poor performing stores would have the entire managemnt team liquidated, even if you had been there for fourty years.

A hollow square is the logo for Nationwide, not a retail department store, a selling season is not a single month, and a sale isn't every third Thursday. When you lower your prices, take it out of your own margin and don't ask vendors for another 20% on top of the $5 you pay them for an $80 shirt.

Apple marketing works because the people Apple markets to have no brains, they have been brainwashed by the Cult of Jobs to buy a castrated monkey for $10k if Apple says so.

Middle class white America doesn't like ads with gay men. The USA isn't a giant version of San Francisco. Even though it is hard for Californites to understand.

I turned a $0 wholesale company into $50 million in three years with a marketing budget of $100k a year. I think I could help JC Penney.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 17:58 | 2537591 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Goodbye capitalism, hello fuckitallism

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:15 | 2537633 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

How does this not create a morale crisis within JCP?

Bonus incentives are totally maligned with compensation by an order of magnitude.

Short this stock on board incompetence.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:30 | 2537673 lolmaster
lolmaster's picture

Bk liquidate and game

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:31 | 2537679 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

I hear Sears needs some "expertise"....seein' how he's unemployed now.  Wouldn't want to see him starve.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:52 | 2537718 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

I love the title of this post.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:03 | 2537732 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

I haven't shopped at JCP in over ayear. After reading this, I just cut-up my JCP charge card. I told my wife to never spend another dime in their store. Fuck JCP.......

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 22:31 | 2538235 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

You just did her a favor. I hadn't shopped there for about 15 years( or another dept store for that matter). The clothing quality is horrendous and all the crap they get from china is coated in formaldehyde which caused my asthma to flair up unless I washed it numerous times. I buy mostly from boutique shops that sell clothing made in USA or Canada primarily hemp or bamboo. Costs a bloody fortune but, if cared for well, lasts many times longer. It my small way not feeding the beast.


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:08 | 2537738 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

JCP needs an "I pooped today" tee shirt.


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:49 | 2537842 Tippoo Sultan
Tippoo Sultan's picture

Still laughing.


Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:09 | 2537740 fuu
fuu's picture

He found the exit.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 19:22 | 2537773 jomama
jomama's picture

and that, folks, is why you go to business school.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 20:04 | 2537866 The Disappointed
The Disappointed's picture

'Eats, shoots and leaves.'?

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 20:14 | 2537892 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

$10 million?  I wish the fuck we could get rid of the politicians that cheap!

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 22:15 | 2538184 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

when co's start making homo's and lesbo's target one..they are close to implode mode..waiting for sears to come out of the dark and go all limp loafers as well..when mot a few years back made diversity job one..they never were the same co. and nokia ate thier lunch.


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 01:11 | 2538607 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

word overmedicated.

Mon, 06/18/2012 - 23:37 | 2538450 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Ten million? Peanuts!

The REAL question is what this guy got paid and promised off the books in return for wrecking JC Penny! 


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