Jefferies Re-Releases Statement

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Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:20 | 1841154 Godisanhftbot
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 I think some JEF shorts just bled from their wrecktums

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:27 | 1841203 ZippyBananaPants
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Wrecktum, hell, damn near killed him.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:39 | 1841274 fuu
fuu's picture

Did that count as a flash crash?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:04 | 1841463 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Man..., the CNBC crew are grilling the hell out of Egan Jones right now because of their downgrade.

STICK A FORK IN HIM..., already... Jeezo!

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:11 | 1841518 defn8Dog
defn8Dog's picture

Look... valuable Primary Dealer with long, illustrious history, (okay not as long as Bear Stearno) just trying to put on some leverage to up the juice from the free money from the Fed and make some jing.  Got the holidays and bonuses coming!  What?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:21 | 1841580 jayman21
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Wonder what the account rec at CNBC is for Jefferies?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:40 | 1841276 Shitters_Full
Shitters_Full's picture

Sweet Jeebus, I love that punchline.  Thank you.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:51 | 1841346 Bring the Gold
Bring the Gold's picture

Classic, total classic. Been funny since 1941 at least. Best read in gritty WW II officer voice.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:27 | 1841206 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Paper cuts from money out the wazoo.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:29 | 1841220 Dr. Engali
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Correction: The weak shorts bled from their rectum.  Some of us are doing just fine.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:34 | 1841226 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

yeah, but what is there net off balance sheet exposure?

 

And how leveraged are they?  MF Global was leveraged 40:1. And alot of the risk was hidden off balance. insantity. 

 

#occupywallstreet.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:51 | 1841347 clones2
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I think from the bond downgrade they were 12.7 to 1

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:36 | 1841258 JohnG
JohnG's picture

 

 

Jeffries CEO is named Dick Handler (for realz).  Guess we know aht he's been doing.

Must be one tough bastard growing up with a name like that... 8D

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:38 | 1841265 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

Lucky he lived next door to Mike Hunt.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:40 | 1841282 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

he sold 2 million shares in september. that should have told someone something was coming.  he cut his teeth at drexel burnham lambert..........imagine that..........its the ali g show .................again and again.........

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:15 | 1841542 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Are you fucking serious??

Mao's treatment of the banksters is looking better and better all the time...

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:28 | 1841574 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

So he is a "friend of joe"  Joseph J. "Joe" Cassano, some call joe "Patient Zero"

Drexel Burnham Lambert, The school of Michael Milken.

AKA Michael Robert Milken

Born: 4-Jul-1946
Birthplace: Encino, CA

Gender: Male
Religion: Jewish
Race or Ethnicity: White
Sexual orientation: Straight but unkown after prison sentence.
Occupation: Business, Criminal

Nationality: United States
Executive summary: Convicted financial executive

Financial executive for Drexel Burnham Lambert, but indicted in 1989 for securities irregularities and racketeering. Went to prison for two years, but this has had little effect on his influence. Net worth $2.5B (Forbes 2007).

Father: Bernard Milken
Mother: Fern
Brother: Lowell
Sister: Joni Noah
Wife: Lori (m. circa 1969, three children)

High School: Birmingham High School, Van Nuys, CA
University: BA, University of California at Berkeley (summa cum laude)
University: MBA, Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania

Drexel Burnham Lambert
Milken Institute Chairman
Sigma Alpha Mu Fraternity
Phi Beta Kappa Society
World Technology Network
Ig Nobel Prize Economics (1991)
Insider Trading charges dropped
Mail Fraud charges dropped
Racketeering charges dropped
Securities Fraud pled guilty Apr-1990
Wire Fraud charges dropped
Risk Factors: Prostate Cancer, Vegetarian, Toupee

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 12:53 | 1842072 Mr_Wonderful
Mr_Wonderful's picture

I think he´s married to 

Anita Dick.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:40 | 1841283 Gadfly
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http://www.businessinsider.com/mf-global-workers-not-showing-up-2011-11?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+clusterstock+%28ClusterStock%29

 

Now MF Global Employees Are Ditching Work

 

“In the aftermath of MF Global's filing for bankruptcy protection Monday, many of the beleaguered broker-dealers' employees are no longer coming into the office, Reuters' Tara LaCapra reported.”

 

Nice.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:53 | 1841351 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

I thought they have conviction ..http://www.flickr.com/photos/68539887@N00/6305308661/     Oh that conviction 

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 13:08 | 1842142 decon
decon's picture

Check out the spike in selling the 2nd week of April.  Think somebody knew something?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 15:08 | 1842721 Godisanhftbot
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 lol, hey, you can still cover <12, no hard feelings

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 15:31 | 1842791 Godisanhftbot
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  Rumor some AM JEF shorts will be filing for bankruptcy

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:22 | 1841172 Biggvs
Biggvs's picture

So they give us the net for each country... how about the gross and composition of the netting? How much netting is CDS?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:25 | 1841194 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Nah, it is better to just count money that isn't there. That way, you never go broke.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:10 | 1841514 Libertarian777
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or count OPM (Other People's Money)... like client money...

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:30 | 1841228 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Are they exposed to French and German banks?  Can they even make a factual determination on how exposed they are to PIIGS soverign debt?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:22 | 1841173 Ancona
Ancona's picture

Hahahaha to infinity.

I love the denials, then followed on by clarifications, more denials to be followed eventually by the truth.

Bring out your dead!!

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:22 | 1841174 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Denial is the first symptom of a problem.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:34 | 1841251 SheepDog-One
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Public denial is proof its true.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:22 | 1841178 larry david
larry david's picture

David Faber just told me it's all good, rally (ponzi) on bitchez!

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:53 | 1841365 LongSoupLine
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I'm expecting this from Bob PISSani:  "What's important here, is Goldman's European Division, the ECB, cut rates." 

 

 

 

I've said it before, but will repeat it here yet again, "Adding pretty frosting to a steaming pile of crap does NOT make it a cake"

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:10 | 1841515 mrholty
mrholty's picture

You haven't had my Mother-in-Laws cooking then. 

1.  Step one.  Cook shit.

2.  Cover either in Gravy, syrup or frosting.

3.  Her own kids love it while the in-laws are eating cat turds to get the taste of "dinner" out of their mouth. 

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:30 | 1841644 Kayman
Kayman's picture

Unless you're a dung beetle... er... Investment Banker...

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:23 | 1841181 transaccountin
transaccountin's picture

im sold

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:24 | 1841184 Xtreeeme
Xtreeeme's picture

People know nothing! They know nothing! Jefferies is fine!!

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:25 | 1841607 Thisson
Thisson's picture


"They're not even [within] 100 miles [of Baghdad]. They are not in any place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion."


"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

"We have them surrounded in their tanks"

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljoke-iraqinfominister.htm

 

 

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:24 | 1841185 monopoly
monopoly's picture

All good, glad to hear.

Now we have to advise ANF and RIG of that.

Guess we are not buying as many $150.00 jeans with holes in them.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:24 | 1841186 Gene8696
Gene8696's picture

As I said yesterday...
Time to smoke a Jeffery, and stroke the furry wall...

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:24 | 1841187 bdc63
bdc63's picture

"our leverage is comparable to our peers" ... uhm ... is that supposed to make me feel better?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:24 | 1841190 bania
bania's picture

the fringe blog strikes again!

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:25 | 1841192 JSD
JSD's picture

No basis risk there...none.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:25 | 1841193 0cz
0cz's picture

Coming back up.  Bernanke flew over in the helicopter and sorted everything out.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:26 | 1841201 Stuart
Stuart's picture

OK, everybody, altogether now:  "JEFFERIES, LISTEN UP... WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!!  GET IT?"

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:26 | 1841202 nobusiness
nobusiness's picture

What if EU and Greece are not a credit event and CDS don't pay????  Where's that press release.  Reg FD was a joke.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:27 | 1841207 Winterland
Winterland's picture

I'm assuming they bought CDS. But if ISDA is unwilling to let the CDS trigger occur they aren't quite as hedged as it would seem.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:32 | 1841230 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

If they take the exchange deal(if it goes through) they write down their gross Greek debt exposure...If they dont, their CDS is still money good. The debt writedown if they so choose probably won't put them under anyways. 

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:55 | 1841392 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I know I'm a little thick, but why would anybody choose a haircut over accepting an insurance check?

I mean..., if they actually have a choice and all.

Somebody?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:28 | 1841213 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

Bear raid bitchez!

Markets getting hectic again.  Dow daily chart looking like something akin to a heart monitor today. 

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:56 | 1841403 gmrpeabody
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Flatline bitchez!

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