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Jefferies Releases Yet Another Set Of Numbers On Its European Exposure That Differ From 24 Hours Ago

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Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:19 | 1846085 Earl of Chiswick
Earl of Chiswick's picture

Friday Night in the South of France probably best not to do a TV spot whilst having enjoyed a few glasses of wine, or maybe they always giggle and talk funny when doing a live report:


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:36 | 1846163 Deadpool
Deadpool's picture

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat a coincidence!

Hey, this is great! Imagine the odds of this happening.

Do you know the park in NYC that the Wall Street protesters are occupying?

It's Zuccotti Park.

Did you know this park is not owned by the city of New York?

It is owned by Brookfield Properties.

Who was just hired by Brookfield Properties as an attorney?

Vice President Joe Biden's son.

Who sits on the board of Brookfield Properties?

Mayor Bloomberg's live in girlfriend.

Now, guess what company just received some of the last of the Obama Stimulus $$$$$$$.

Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's right, Brookfield Properties.

Isn't life great in America!


Now, guess what, on a completely unrelated note, Wisconsin is shaping up to be the swing state in the 2012 presidential elections. Not Florida. Not Ohio. But Wisconsin.

Now, guess who owns the company that will be tabulating the electronic votes in Wisconsin.

Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's right, the biggest contributor to Obama, the puppeteer George Soros. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat a coincidence!

Now remember what Stalin said. "He who votes does not have the power. He who counts the votes has the power". 


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:01 | 1846245 redpill
redpill's picture

I'm always careful when I'm online.  Like I always say, the net can be gross!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:12 | 1846275 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Dick Handler.

There goes that keyboard...


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 18:03 | 1846732 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Jefferies NOT too big to fail. Next primary dealer to be cross out.


Bank of Nova Scotia, New York Agency
BMO Capital Markets Corp.
BNP Paribas Securities Corp. (FRENCH SHIT)
Barclays Capital Inc. (British SHIT)
Cantor Fitzgerald & Co.
Citigroup Global Markets Inc. (SHIT)
Credit Suisse Securities (USA) LLC
Daiwa Capital Markets America Inc.
Deutsche Bank Securities Inc. (German SHIT)
Goldman, Sachs & Co. (SMART SHIT)
HSBC Securities (USA) Inc. (Hong Kong SHIT)
Jefferies & Company, Inc. (NEXT SHIT)
J.P. Morgan Securities LLC (ROCKEFELLER SHIT)
Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith Incorporated (BANK OF AMERICAN SHIT)
Mizuho Securities USA Inc.
Morgan Stanley & Co. LLC
Nomura Securities International, Inc. (LOST DECADE SHIT)
RBC Capital Markets, LLC
RBS Securities Inc.
SG Americas Securities, LLC
UBS Securities LLC. (Swiss BS SHIT)

MF Global (New Jersey SHIT)

Bear Sterans (JP MORGAN SHIT now) 

Lehman Bros (Repo 105 SHIT)

Countrywide (BANK OF AMERICA SHIT now)


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 18:24 | 1846803 Demologos
Demologos's picture

A lot of these are Inter-Alpha SHIT.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 18:38 | 1846831 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

I know. I was wondering how he even made it out of high school alive with that name.

It happens. We have a bridge here in GA named after Dick Hunter.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 20:01 | 1847071 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Bwawney Fwank was in GA?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:36 | 1846164 Smithovsky
Smithovsky's picture

gross will soon be net - they're shooting themselves in the foot with this

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:49 | 1846215 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Awesome stuff. I am too poor to watch CNBC anymore but I get bloomberg over the internets, and once perday they wheel out a george will wannabe  dinosaur who flirts with the girls and has recently been saying that the Cain sexual harrassment stuff is more powerful than the buffet rule for romney.

Thank you zero hedge.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 19:18 | 1846947 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Something isn't right about Jeffries, the lady or gentleman does protest too much.  Three times in a week to squelch rumors that it's heavily invested in European debt. 

Fri, 08/03/2012 - 13:43 | 2676307 kall
kall's picture

Let's hope that these moves won't have a significant negative impact on the local economy. As a small entrepreneur I am struggling to survive and I am thankful that I can rely on Bradley S Cohen's advice to keep my business back on track.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:20 | 1846088 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Death throws.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:36 | 1846165 knukles
knukles's picture

Not so fast, not so fast...
Understanding Wall Street's (add in commerical side of the banking ledger, too, make No Mistake About That... and this is from Personal Experience) Highly Touted Risk Managemant Capabilities necessitates a thorough underatanding of Wall Street's accounting, records keeping and analytical systems. 
If you really don't fucking know what you own, you can say that it's under control.  Of what and by whom is all together a different discussion, but it's all under control.

Understand?  Like Netting.
No Martha, not hair netting.  Go back to your Betas and Gammas, darling. 

This is honestly business as normal.
Lemme gve you an idea. 
Just as the only time the recovering alcoholic doesn't want to talk about himself is during his 4th and 5th steps, the only time a brokerage firm understands what the fuck it has on it's books is when it comes to dressing them up at quarter's and year's ends.
Period, EOC. 

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:22 | 1846094 Amused2Death
Amused2Death's picture

Jefferies goes KABOOM over the weekend? 

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:33 | 1846126 bdc63
bdc63's picture

yesterday I would have said yes, but I'm not so sure anymore.  if you're guilty you usually just dismiss things out of hand and call the accusations "ridiculous" ... you don't show numbers.

we'll see soon enough I guess.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:33 | 1846151 Amused2Death
Amused2Death's picture

They're feeling some pinch, likely from clients liquidating accounts, this is not a press release intended for the public...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:45 | 1846202 Irish66
Irish66's picture

BAC just keeps drifting lower

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:09 | 1846266 The4thStooge
The4thStooge's picture

Time to smoke a Jefferies?


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:15 | 1846280 Irish66
Irish66's picture

music too

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:21 | 1846293 Mohan
Mohan's picture

Yesterday CNN Reported tht hedge fund clients of JEF were fleeing.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 18:10 | 1846758 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Few more Lehmans before QE3.... just in time for reelection.


all part of the plan folks.


BTW, isn't Jefferies walmart of dealers?





Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:48 | 1846211 CPL
CPL's picture

Well they certainly can't let it die while the market's running.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:22 | 1846095 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Life's a glitch and then you die.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:22 | 1846099 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

JEF would like to express its appreciation to the obama business channel for "restoring investor confidence"

as the guy said the disclosure is absolutely extraordinary

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:23 | 1846100 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Jeffries just sitting tite, waiting till Monday when Jamie Dimon will discover JPM is holding all the money to make Jeffries whole again. 

Nothing to see here, +1% on DOW no doubt over the next 1/12 hours.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:23 | 1846109 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

The CEO has definitely been handling too much dicks the past week.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:37 | 1846169 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yup, and they need the weekend to get the database hamsters at the FED to wheel some binary funny money over to Jamie at 0.01% on Ben's "special ink" ledger (i.e. - invisible).

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:23 | 1846103 unununium
unununium's picture

Jeffries is setting a high standard for transparency here.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:30 | 1846139 bdc63
bdc63's picture

I wouldn't hold my breath for that one ...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:28 | 1846106 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

It's not the current perception of the facts that ever matter; it what you are holding when the FBI show up that makes it real. FBI timeline only works one way and dissemblage is their encouragement. Capitalism works like a MF (LAMF), just ride the tiger, don't become one.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:24 | 1846113 Bumblebee Tuna
Bumblebee Tuna's picture

Just a little more schadenFRAUDe never hurt anybody, did it?  Oh, except the taxpayers.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:26 | 1846116 Todd Horlbeck
Todd Horlbeck's picture

link to follow

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:25 | 1846118 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

Fuck. Just went all in FAZ for the weekend.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 20:48 | 1847203 olo - that's th...
olo - that's the bird's picture

You're supposed to short FAZ, genius.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:26 | 1846121 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

there might be an investigation starting .... in a week or so

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:26 | 1846123 MonsterZero
MonsterZero's picture

It should be noted that, as of today’s opening of business, Jefferies’ net exposure to the sovereign debt of the nations of Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, and Spain consisted of the following (rounded to the nearest million):

In response to inquiries, Jefferies is disclosing its position as of a few minutes ago in the sovereign risk of the nations of Portugal, Italy, Ireland,

Sorry but they appear pretty clear on the timeframe to me.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:27 | 1846125 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

if dick handler's lips are moving he's lying....call it mf global after glow...the kind you get when you are fucked in the ass without the benefit of lubricants...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:28 | 1846128 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

LOL...leave it up to ZH to expose all these high end Wall Street bakeries for what they really are...manure factories.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:29 | 1846129 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I'm getting that "Bear Stearns, MF, Leahman, Enron" tingly feeling all over my body.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:36 | 1846161 Irish66
Irish66's picture

there is something going on

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 15:37 | 1846336 Bumblebee Tuna
Bumblebee Tuna's picture

Massive fraud and theft that will soon be covered up & forgotten about due to a war with Iran?

Sat, 11/05/2011 - 00:37 | 1847841 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Sorta like the $2.3T announced missing from the Pentagram on 9/10/01?


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:32 | 1846140 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

 "Our firm stands on a solid foundation of over $8.5 billion of long-term capital and we look forward to continued success."

Wow I heard the same thing at Wachovia.  The Friday before they went under. We came in Monday morning only to hear that Citi was buying us for a buck a share.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:53 | 1846223 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

That'll make my OTM puts ITM puts!!  :) 

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:31 | 1846143 silber2012
Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:31 | 1846144 Amused2Death
Amused2Death's picture

But but but...Meredith Whitney says nothing to see here!



Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:32 | 1846149 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Oh, well that settles it, then...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 14:32 | 1846150 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Hey Dick...how many shares did you sell?

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