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Jon Corzine - Meet Bubba

Tyler Durden's picture


The admission is here:

  • MF Global Admits Using Client Money, AP Says
  • MF exec. made the admission in phone call with regulators Monday morning

It's time to get some expert on the ex-MF Global head's mental state and to blame temporary insanity, otherwise, someone is going to be bunking with Bubba very shortly.

From AP:

A federal official says MF Global, the securities firm led by Jon Corzine, admitted to using clients' money as its financial troubles mounted.


An MF Global executive admitted that to federal regulators in a phone call early Monday after regulators discovered money missing from clients' accounts, according to an official familiar with the conversation.


The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss a preliminary investigation by federal regulators.


Government rules require securities firms to keep clients' money and company money in separate accounts. Violating them could result in civil penalties.


MF Global, which filed for bankruptcy protection on Monday, faced a cash crunch following multibillion-dollar bets on European sovereign debt.


Corzine ran Goldman Sachs Group Inc., and later was governor of New Jersey.


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Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:19 | 1833324 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:19 | 1833326 redpill
redpill's picture

I hear orange jumpsuits are the fashion rage on Wall Street these days.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:29 | 1833335 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Fi-douche-iaries...they should all get jobs with the Social Security Trust Fund.


Social Security has a trust fund, and that trust fund is supposed to have $2.6 trillion in it, according to the Social Security trustees. If there are real assets in the trust fund, then Social Security can mail the checks, regardless of what Congress does about the debt limit.


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:29 | 1833390 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Corzine meet reality.  Nothing pleases me more than to see an ex Goldman CEO head to prison.  Idiot believer in fractional lying.


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:43 | 1833459 depression
depression's picture

Corzine is heading for the Madoff Suite at Butner

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:57 | 1833567 oddjob
oddjob's picture

potential stoolie?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:10 | 1833610 trav7777
trav7777's picture

they've already been hard at work trying to shred anything which would prove Corzine knew.  That is SOP, though I've no idea WHY.  The low-level employees that take the bullet for the boss end up getting NOTHING out of it other than a prison sentence.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:08 | 1833972 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

Death for ALL Involved!

let them get away with it like always.


aside from what we would like to see done..

2,000 tax dodgers are all free and the whistle blower is in Jail!

Welcome to America!

Celebrate the Fraud!

Celebrate the Criminality!!

Just like New York's Finest DO!

support your friends!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:13 | 1834315 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

HE (Jon Corzine) is one of THEM..., THEY will protect him.

Look for Eric Holder to raid the offices and carry out computers.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 19:22 | 1834820 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

This time ? I don't think so. "They" need to make an example of one of their own, lest the governed break out in open rebellion.

Corzine will fall. It is decided. "They" will see to it.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 04:05 | 1835920 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

post says mixing customer and corporate funds could result in "civil penalties".  will bubba's lust be thwarted?  if not, bubba might want to have an escrow account set up rather than having at jon;s somewhat long in the tooth charms.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 19:49 | 1834924 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Thats the secret, the low level employees think that they will be rewarded.  But what they don't know is once the deed is done and they are covered and evidence is gone,  they don't have to worry about paying the employee or even him or her running saying they did it on the orders of Corzine.  Because by that time him and his thousand dollar an hour lawyers would say that it's his word against Corzine.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 22:19 | 1835331 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Yep, and right now some clueless low-level manager is having evidence planted against him.

To all employee -- if you are ordered to shred documents, photograph a few incriminating ones and make sure you can prove who ordered the evidence destruction.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:22 | 1833687 greased up deaf guy
greased up deaf guy's picture

hope you're right, but everyone may be reading too much into this.

"Violating them could result in civil penalties."

civil = $$$ fine and no jail time, right?

also, the "executive" who admitted to whatever is most certainly not corzine.  corzine will claim he had no knowledge of any wrongdoing... just like his buddy lloyd.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:44 | 1833480 Transformer
Transformer's picture

Ah yes, the SSI trust fund.  Only problem is, their is zip in the trust fund, nada.  The DC mafia stole it.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:42 | 1834162 ALPO
ALPO's picture

He's a Democratic politician, so he never grasped the whole "private money" vs "public money" thing.  Reaching into client accounts came as naturally to him as reaching into taxpayer pockets.


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:15 | 1834326 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture


Too funny...

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 04:09 | 1835922 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

yes.  it is clearly solely a democratic politician failing to not keep the thin, bright line separating public and private funds in laser like focus.  case in point?  the perfection that was the accounting for funds in the war in iraq.  

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:21 | 1833339 Smithovsky
Smithovsky's picture

retraction of admission in 3...2...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:22 | 1833346 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Jail Corzine is what I wanted to say.

Now... the orange does have a sort of pumpkin/Thanksgiving feeling to it, doesn't it?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:25 | 1833358 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Why does anyone think Corzine's gonna take the blame for this? Some nigerian from the back office will take the fall. They always do.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:39 | 1833438 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

'Why does anyone think Corzine's gonna take the blame for this?'

I made a request, that's all. What is going to happen is outside the purview of my little rants on financial blogs. However, your cynicism is toxic my friend. You've clearly lost all sense of purpose and humanity by looking at financial markets 24/7. Start by purging yourself from the criminal everyday-ness and demand some rule of law.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:15 | 1833621 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Not that I disagree with you, but:


Government rules require securities firms to keep clients' money and company money in separate accounts. Violating them could result in civil penalties.


Look for the "rouge trader" to take the fall OR a "civil penalty" that will be a few FRNs payable to Unka Sam and a slap on the wrist.

Corzine ain't going to jail.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:39 | 1833760 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

People at this level of the game don't scratch their asses without talking to an attorney, unless they know their actions to be expressly illegal AND they know their attorney will rat on them in the event he or she is told of any illegal plans.  Hell, they might have even rammed through unassuming test cases for these particular issues or at least ancillary and relevant ones.  I know I would if I was them.

That's not to say they'll be successful...  especially considering the law of public sentiment...  but, it's certainly a reasonable argument from induction (and I realize that induction is the last bastion of lazy theorists).

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:53 | 1833537 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

I suspect that there are quite a few TBTF's and Politicos who do NOT want Mr Corzine testifying in open court or on the public record.  Remember, this guy has been leading the President's campaign finance efforts since January and of course there are those ties to the Squid, NY Fed, etc... oh no, Jon knows where there are some skeletons buried and those skeletons do NOT want to be found.  I doubt we'll see this bastard in an orange jumpsuit, though we might see him taking a long nap with some fishes if he's not careful.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:56 | 1833554 IEVI
IEVI's picture

Time for a suicide.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:26 | 1833704 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

If I were him, I'd avoid hottubs and small planes.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:00 | 1833921 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Or eating chicken (chicken bones and choking) ...

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 07:18 | 1941223 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

Or a speeding car with no seatbelt .......

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:18 | 1833664 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Agree. Politician AND banker. 

The best of both worlds.

You KNOW he knows some shit!


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:30 | 1833394 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

WTF is going on?? Shit is bouncing all over the place


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:57 | 1833562 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

It's not bouncing, actually it just slogged in to the fan

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:50 | 1833833 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

When you attach a lead weight (or feces for that matter) to a single fan blade then massive instability is the resulting condition.  

So it goes with rotary engines and the financial markets.

Who knows?  Have enough shit hit the fan and you might get some kind of dynamic balance on the blades.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:44 | 1833476 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

Next you will hear that cockzine has cancer. He dies and joins ken lay in the caymens with cocaine and hoes.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:08 | 1833604 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

Bullish for commisary candy bars and AIDS medication.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:47 | 1834187 TiredofIgnorance
TiredofIgnorance's picture

Wazzup brother-in-law?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:21 | 1833332 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Is Jon Corzine Jewish?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:32 | 1833400 flacon
flacon's picture

He is Italian and French.


During Corzine's campaign for the United States Senate, he made some controversial off-color statements. When introduced to a man with an Italian name who said he was in the construction business, Corzine quipped: “Oh, you make cement shoes!" according to Emanuel Alfano, chairman of the Italian-American One Voice Committee. Alfano also reported that when introduced to a lawyer named David Stein, Corzine said: "He's not Italian, is he? Oh, I guess he's your Jewish lawyer who is here to get the rest of you out of jail."[27] Corzine denied mentioning religion, but did not deny the quip about Italians, claiming that some of his own ancestors were probably Italian,[28] or maybe French.[5]

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:34 | 1833410 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

that makes his prison walk the more likely, no (WS) jew will ever see prison not in this lifetime!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:41 | 1833452 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

Thank you for showing us that not only are you filthy, but stupid. "No jew will ever see prison" Madoff. Asshole.

"Damn it! I want my banker to believe in Jesus!"

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:03 | 1833589 oddjob
oddjob's picture

I want my banker to swing dead poultry when times are tough.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:19 | 1833669 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:47 | 1833507 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

"Is Jon Corzine Jewish?" NOt sure. But he is a cock sucking goldman asssucks alum.  That is enuff to say it all.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:22 | 1834358 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I detect some attitude.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:51 | 1833525 tmosley
tmosley's picture

No, he's a member of the real enemy tribe--a banker.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:51 | 1833532 yabyum
yabyum's picture

Corzine: I'am a famous guy in for a short stretch!  Bubba: TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:55 | 1833552 Paul Bogdanich
Paul Bogdanich's picture


Are you people dreaming?  With mary Schapirro and Eric Holder on the job it's doubtful whether or not they even get fined.  Some kind of a back door bailout is infinitely more likely. 


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:23 | 1834366 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Those two will be doing their best to cover for him. That's what they're paid for!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:04 | 1833585 SirIssacNewton
SirIssacNewton's picture

If Corizone doesn't get his ass kicked in jail along with the other senior management, then....... (then realization kicks in).... oh wait, they own the f#cking system, so they will be gently guided, with a $12 million bonus each, to the land of milk and honey.... where crime, herein called stealing...being a thief, gets you your next big CEO job in the banking and financial industry.  Never mind, if anyone else stole this much money, there would be a nation wide man hunt with a 20 year jail sentence at the end.  This CRIME wasn't at gun point, but it was at COMPUTER point which is just as deadly and even more insidious because it can hurt more people than the 17 rounds in a Glock.  Corizone was a crook in Jersey and he continues his mad ways and steals from his clients....nothing to see here move along.


New York Times has the audacity to call this a "Blunder"....... the spin doctors at work.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:48 | 1834190 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Umm... you do know that it was Isaac Newton??

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:26 | 1834393 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

That would be Sir Issac's cousin. People get them confused all the time.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:35 | 1834440 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Damn... my bad...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:04 | 1833596 pelican
pelican's picture

Rot in prison Corzine.  Maybe karma does exist.  You destroyed NJ with your crappy cronies, now Bubba is going to destroy backside.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:39 | 1833761 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Two down votes??

John, that you?

What, you have two ZH accounts now?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:20 | 1833328 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:22 | 1833348 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

He seems a little too soft to survive in prison.  Wait, what am I thinking, no member of his tribe go to jail.  Is there an Indian fall guy at MF???

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:45 | 1833491 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

You really are clueless. Ugly girlfriend too.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:55 | 1833536 Sancho Ponzi
Sancho Ponzi's picture



Will/would Obama pardon Corzine?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:47 | 1834188 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Won't get the chance. There's no way he'll be the fall-guy.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:21 | 1833336 Laughinggrizzley
Laughinggrizzley's picture

Just don't drop your bar of soap in the shower....


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:44 | 1833478 Cursive
Cursive's picture

ISDA: Corzine's soap dropping "appears" voluntary

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:21 | 1833337 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

If ol' Jonny Boy gets away with this, there will be rioting in the streets.

Weekend project: Construct a guillotine.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:43 | 1833457 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

Correction, if ol Johnny Boy gets away with this, Americans will be too busying recording Dancing with the Stars on their DVR and watching the E! miniseries about the Kardashian divorce while tending their farmville crops on facebook to care.


Obama will have a Presidential pardon lined up for him at the end of his term if he is indictecd and convicted anyway.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:24 | 1833340 j0nx
j0nx's picture

2 words: Eric Holder. Not a chance for handcuffs yet alone conviction. But if you're a white guy who he thinks hate crimed a minority then you better look the fuck out. Black on white hate crime? Not so much.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:22 | 1833341 Carlyle Groupie
Carlyle Groupie's picture

It will make for a very interesting population in Club Fed.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:22 | 1833343 Irish66
Irish66's picture

his "friends" are panicking on the Garden State

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:23 | 1833345 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

I'd rather see him cop a plea and provide evidence (even if justice would try to destroy it) of all the rest of the bankster crooks doing the same thing.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:29 | 1833391 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Plea?  Pffft- no freaking mystery here-  he tried to cover his bets with client money- end of mystery, go to jail.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:23 | 1833349 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

he wont go to prison.  some mid-level manager will.  this is the freaking USA.  no banking execs ever do perp walks.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:23 | 1833350 Yardstick of Ci...
Yardstick of Civilization's picture

That $12 million parachute is going to buy him a lot of cigarettes.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:49 | 1833521 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Can't smoke in jail anymore.  That's how I finally quit.....

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:23 | 1833351 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

Time to occupy Corzine's anus.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:42 | 1833458 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Maybe he can get some sound advice from Martha Stewart. 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:49 | 1834195 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Rectum?? Damn well near killed him...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:24 | 1833354 Goldtoothchimp09
Goldtoothchimp09's picture

It needs to be life in prison for everyone involved with any management responsibilities.  The only way to save yourself should be if you make a whistleblower attempt at stopping the theft.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:24 | 1833355 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

Guillotine, is good by me.


Jail is way too easy.  You can't repair this damage without some wet work.  If Corzine directly jeopardized client's money to cover his full retard trades he cannot walk around breathing the same air as his ex-clients.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833361 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

 not gonna happen because the people are too stupid to demand it. they demand all the wrong things.  like free cheese and bailouts for morons that overpaid for their shacks

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833368 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

"Too easy"  Ask Stanford about that.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:41 | 1833449 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

It will be too easy if I am not compensated for the entire value of my account plus the mental anguish it has caused.  I likely will get my money.  Anguish?  right.  Multiply that by the tens of thousands of accounts and you get the point....Hence, too easy.

If I stole a thousand bucks from a bank, I would likely get punished more severely.  Society needs to man up and get old testament on the POS that are running around, destroying society, with maximum impunity.  The proper way to deal with a POS is to flush it.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:53 | 1833543 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

First grab it, and then flush it. I'm with that shit.  But first put your gloves on. Safety of feces exposure is important.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:24 | 1833357 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

"otherwise, someone is going to be bunking with Bubba very shortly.."

if mary schapiro or barney frank has anything to do with it, the only person bunking with bubba is bubba. i assure you that no one but an administrative assistant will be rolled under the bus...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833364 legal eagle
legal eagle's picture

He should have said that the three page memo via Hank Paulson told him to do it!  Matter of national security and all.....

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833365 The4thStooge
The4thStooge's picture

Who wrote CDS on MF Global? This is getting interesting.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:39 | 1833437 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

The MF creditors will take "voluntary haircuts".

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833367 CashCowEquity
CashCowEquity's picture

diameter of his asshole before prison and after....should be interesting

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:31 | 1833404 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Barney Frank has the ruler and is very interested.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:46 | 1833494 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

You would know.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833370 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture

Couple of protein packed spunk shakes and he'll be good as new ......

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833371 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Hi whats your name cell mate?

Bend over.

Nice to meet ya, Ben!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:26 | 1833372 jesse livermoore
jesse livermoore's picture

maybe he can room with bernie Madoff .. We can make  reality show out of it.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:27 | 1833374 Calculated_Risk
Calculated_Risk's picture

cockmeat sammich bitchez!!!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:28 | 1833375 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Jon Corzine better watch his every step from hereonout. There is NO honor among thieves.

Dead men tell no tales.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:46 | 1833501 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

and those fed guards don't make much money..  if he want to stay a virgin he's gonna have to pay up or be tyrone's cell bitch.. what's it worth to you ?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:47 | 1833505 dr.charlemagne
dr.charlemagne's picture

I hope lives long enuf to sing out loud about all the dirty little secrets he knows. Thats always what brings down a big racket.

For example, I have always thought that the Tyler Durden's of the world know things they wouldn't unless they came from high up in the Wall Street circles. Now who would be motivated to bring down the Ponzi, who knows all this stuff and start in earnest around 2007/8. Why the Lehman and perhaps Bear guys. Fed should never treat people that way because the Tyler's are going to succeed in getting even, many fold over.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:27 | 1833376 BULLSHITARTIST


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:27 | 1833377 IEVI
IEVI's picture

Put in a request to wire funds out of my Lind Waldock account yesterday. Called back today and they said all wires are on hold indefinitely.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:58 | 1833570 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Added that to my list of reasons to pull everything and just buy gold and be done with it.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:27 | 1833380 surfwon
surfwon's picture

john will be renamed joanie............. and get some fake tits for prison

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:29 | 1833389 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Nobody wants his tired ass -- now his money, that's a different matter.  Pay protection or get beat half to death.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:41 | 1833450 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

They'll just tattoo them on his shoulder blades with Bic blue ink and a paper clip.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:29 | 1833388 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Call me cynical, but there is no way he ends up in Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

(best guess:In 6 months pleads guilty to reduced charge, serves 2 years in Club Fed, 5 years probation, moves to London and is never heard from again.)

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:18 | 1833661 Last_2_Sense
Last_2_Sense's picture

Well since we're all speculating here then my guess is on a suicide by gun shot to the head right after his conviction. Thereby granting a "win" to prosecutors ala Kenneth Lay style but still allowing the thief to keep the cash. After the closed casket "funeral" and a quick trip to the plastic surgeon, somewhere in Hong Kong, a new trading sensation will be born over night. 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:55 | 1834221 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ken Lay was never convicted. When he "died," his record was expunged, and is considered innocent.


Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:31 | 1833401 ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture
  • MF Global Admits Using Client Money, AP Says
  • Which means everyone was doing the exact same thing.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:46 | 1833496 augmister
    augmister's picture

    +1 !    And IF everybody is doing the SAME thing... Karl had this telling morsel for us today...

    "You need to start thinking about this folks.  SIPC and FDIC insurance are only good in the case of isolated failures.  If the entire system has broken down on a regulatory basis such that a primary dealer can filch allegedly-segregated funds -- better than half a billion -- and not get "caught" until it blows up you must assume that every nickel you have in a bank or trading account does not exist."

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:47 | 1833509 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture


    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:31 | 1833402 bnbdnb
    bnbdnb's picture

    Six months and $12 million....

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:31 | 1833403 The Axe
    The Axe's picture

    JON  in jail......what are you all smoking.....please ain't going to happen....

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:06 | 1833600 SRV - ES339
    SRV - ES339's picture

    Seems nobody else read the "civil penalty" part of the piece... so (bankrupt) MF Global may be subject to serious!

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:33 | 1833408 TheLooza
    TheLooza's picture

    Corzine sounds much like a medication one would apply to one's torn anus.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:34 | 1833409 Dr. Engali
    Dr. Engali's picture

    Shit he will do time in some cushy place. 60 minutes will run a positive profile piece on how he is helping prisoners manage their finances, then he will write a book and end up as a commentator on Yahoo finance with Henry Blodget..

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:43 | 1833469 WonderDawg
    WonderDawg's picture

    Shawshank Redemption Redux: 2011

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:33 | 1833411 mfoste1
    mfoste1's picture

    corzine should use some parachute money to buy butt plugs in order to prep

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:34 | 1833413 orangedrinkandchips
    orangedrinkandchips's picture

    yeah, right.


    We can only wish but seriously, the fucking mutt will become the next Treasury Sec.


    just wait.....


    12.2MM....yah....make the joke so obvious before we do something about it.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:35 | 1833418 Dave Thomas
    Dave Thomas's picture

    "Violating them could result in civil penalties."

    Corzine the Obama supporter is going to get a slap on the wrist.

    Jail time? Are you kidding me?

    That fucker shoulda went through the windshield when he wasn't wearing his seat belt.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:35 | 1833420 Cursive
    Cursive's picture

    But I thought it was only Madoff....

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:35 | 1833422 catacl1sm
    catacl1sm's picture

    Jail is for real criminals, like pot smokers and shit. This guy won't go there.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:37 | 1833425 smlaz
    smlaz's picture


    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:38 | 1833431 Dave Thomas
    Dave Thomas's picture

    Welcome to the internets, enjoy your stay!

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:44 | 1833470 Tsunami Wave
    Tsunami Wave's picture

    Ahhh Zero Hedge, one of the very last bastions of completely of real news with also an uncensored and unmoderated comment board. I'd rather have that over everywhere else on the internets.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:41 | 1833447 junkyardjack
    junkyardjack's picture

    You got downgraded for sticking up for them, now that's racialist

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:50 | 1833524 TheLooza
    TheLooza's picture

    Um. Get used to it. I would be completely blind about how the world really works but for ZH.  The trade-off, if you also read and contribute to ZH comments, is that you have to deal with a shit ton of internet bigot knuckle draggers. 

    If anything, hanging out here makes me prouder to be Jewish.  Yeah you paranoid motherfuckers, maybe we do control everything. Maybe we will confiscate your wealth; control your future.   Nothing you can do about it but PASTE little tiny rascist rants day after day.




    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:57 | 1834239 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    Could you at least have the decency to reply to a relevant comment, or are you trying to say the article itself is the problem?

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:37 | 1833427 digalert
    digalert's picture

    We know count Blankenfein has a criminal attorney. Has the brilliant Corzine got a criminal attorney?

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:51 | 1833526 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture

    You do need to be a criminal and an attorney to defend these people, don't you? Consigliere, is that the term?

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:38 | 1833428 backseatdriver
    backseatdriver's picture

    There is no freaking way Dudleys boy Corzine drowns, without pulling down some other flailing big fish with him. Furthermore if he does go down he deserves way more than some Minimum Security Prison "white collar" sentence. 

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:39 | 1833434 AGORACOM
    AGORACOM's picture

    Putting Corzine in jail doesn't fit current SEC Brown guys only mandate.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:39 | 1833436 Cone of Uncertainty
    Cone of Uncertainty's picture

    The day this clown goes to jail is the day Becky Quick stops blowing The Oracle.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:39 | 1833439 junkyardjack
    junkyardjack's picture

    I say as punishment they only give him $10M severance.  That will teach him.  Civil penalty we can believe in

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:42 | 1833460 midgetrannyporn
    midgetrannyporn's picture

    It seems our financial system isn't as well regulated as we were led to believe. Shocking.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:42 | 1833461 Bunga Bunga
    Bunga Bunga's picture

    Brokers using your money to prop up the market.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:42 | 1833462 augmister
    augmister's picture

    Every normal man must be tempted at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag and begin sliting throats.   H.L. Mencken

    Somebody hold him DOWN, please...

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:43 | 1833464 YesWeKahn
    YesWeKahn's picture

    AMZN junk is green, can you believe it? The fraud money will be used to buy Kiddle fire.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:43 | 1833466 azzhatter
    azzhatter's picture

    I hope Bubba is horny

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:44 | 1833471 youngman
    youngman's picture

    This smells of a set up or a head fake to me....Corzine knows better...something is wrong this the kitchen sink event...TPTB will use this as an excuse to print, bailout, restructure...whatever...I just don´t think Corzine was that stupid....there is more to this story

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:45 | 1833472 LawsofPhysics
    LawsofPhysics's picture

    Time for some common sense solutions.  Raise the missing money by broadcasting the meeting with "Bubba" live on the internet and charging a buck a minute.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:44 | 1833473 MachoMan
    MachoMan's picture

    Can't help but to think of this scene from fletch lives:


    Ben Dover: Take your pants off.
    Fletch: I don't even know your name.
    Ben Dover: Bend over.
    Fletch: Ben? Nice to meet you, Victor Hugo.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:07 | 1833601 davepowers
    davepowers's picture

    me too

    thanx for posting

    and that crazy ex fighter actor was perfect for the part

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:47 | 1833495 Careless Whisper
    Careless Whisper's picture

    Violating them could result in civil penalties.

    key word being CIVIL, bitches! a person doesn't go to jail for civil violations, they must be criminal violations for jail time.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:00 | 1833577 Miss Expectations
    Miss Expectations's picture

    Well....civil for not segregating the monies.  Taking the money is criminal by any measure, no?

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:44 | 1833779 MachoMan
    MachoMan's picture

    Good luck finding a prosecutor that: (a) is competent in the courtroom; (b) actually knows his elbow from his asshole in regard to complex financial instruments [hell, even rudimentary business]; (c) is not solely there as a resume padding exercise to hop into an AG role (or equivalent)/future political career; and (d) is not leashed by higher ups.


    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:47 | 1833506 mfoste1
    mfoste1's picture

    i think i can see the green shoots

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:47 | 1833508 I am a Man I am...
    I am a Man I am Forty's picture

    This corrupt, thieving, greedy fuck could have spent the rest of his life in a hot tub with hot bitches, fine cigars, and the best booze money can buy.  He could have lived absolutely anywhere in the world that he wanted, Aspen/Keys/NY/Hamptons/Carmel, fucking anywhere.  How stupid can you possibly be??  

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:47 | 1833794 realitybiter
    realitybiter's picture

    Absolute greed stupefies all absolutely.


    Greed is not ever satisfied.  Ever.  It will risk all because it wants all.....its worth it, under those terms.

    Shit's biblical for a reason.  It is a psychological disorder.

    Which is why other greedy bastards need to realize that it is not about your plane, your dumb beautiful trophy beeyatch, your yacht, or your campaign is your life dumbass, and you may lose it!!!!

    Guillotines, bitchez


    I dream that in a few months one banker looks to the other and says, "are you crazy?  You do that and you will get Corzined.  This Shit is not worth dying."

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:48 | 1833510 mendolover
    mendolover's picture

    Your DoJ thinks nothing of running guns and drugs and lying about it under oath, twice.  Letting this POS get away with his favorite hobby will not even make them think twice.

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:48 | 1833513 HardlyZero
    HardlyZero's picture

    Shocking !!! 

    I expected to see a WB7 - Madoff - Corzine cell-bunk marriage before the news hits the streets !!

    WB7 is falling "behind"...or is that Corzine?  Who gets to be on top ?  or bottom ?

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:49 | 1833516 Tsunami Wave
    Tsunami Wave's picture

    Fuck Jon Corzine, and the idiots I knew here in New Jersey who wanted him relected.. stupid typical passive NJ democrats who always turned a blind eye on his work experience on Wall Street and Goldman Sachs

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:49 | 1833517 Buzz Wired
    Buzz Wired's picture

    I can see it, about two years from now... "Mr. Corzine, welcome to Butner Medium Security Federal Prison.  You have been sentenced to 150 years.  Meet your new cell mate, Bernard Madhoff."

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:51 | 1833527 Joe Sixpack
    Joe Sixpack's picture

    "MF Global Admits Using Client Money, AP Says"

    translation: We have identified a "rogue trader"

    Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:51 | 1833531 Dealkiller
    Dealkiller's picture

    His scraggly beard will make for some great prison pussy!

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