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Jon Corzine Resigns From MF Global, Will Not Collect Severance

Tyler Durden's picture


Jon Corzine is gone, and as we expected, will not collect a single penny from his $12+ million severance. Statement from the MF board: "The Board of Directors of MF Global Holdings Ltd. announced the resignation of Jon S. Corzine from all posts at MF Global. Mr. Corzine has confirmed that he will not seek severance payments in connection with his resignation. Edward L. Goldberg, the lead director of the Board of Directors, and Bradley I. Abelow, the Company¹s President and Chief Operating Officer, will continue in their current positions." And here is Jon's personal announcement: "I have voluntarily offered my resignation to the Board of Directors of MF Global.  This was a difficult decision, but one that I believe is best for the firm and its stakeholders. I feel great sadness for what has transpired at MF Global and the impact it has had on the firm's clients, employees and many others. I intend to continue to assist the Company and its Board in their efforts to respond to regulatory inquiries and issues related to the disposition of the firm's assets." Now, as to how he will avoid questioning by the federal authorities, that is a different matter entirely...


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Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:49 | 1844358 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Hey! Fuck that guy!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:02 | 1844405 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Which one?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:14 | 1844457 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 11:54 | 1845375 Hard1
Hard1's picture

How about banning both from receiving severance and prosecuting them!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 21:44 | 1847339 spiral_eyes
Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:24 | 1844471 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture



-Michael Clayton in Jon Corzine's kitchen- Scene

Michael Clayton:   I don't know what Walter promised you but...

Jon Corzine:   A miracle worker. That's Walter on the phone twenty minutes ago. Direct quote, okay, "Hang tight, I'm sending you a miracle worker."

Michael Clayton:   Well he misspoke.

Jon Corzine:  About what? That you're the firms fixer? Or that you're any good at it?
[explodes in anger] This shit is complicated, and when you make as much as I do from connections, you tend to lose the penchant and drive to monitor the ethical, legal, moral & most basic of details, okay?  These clients are all greedy f**cks, alright, and they shouldn't have expected to swim with sharks without getting bitten! This is America, now, Michael! We don't have firms that make things of value, we only have firms that shift things of value, as in from your pocket to mine, got it! How the hell are greedy pricks like me with aspirations going to get what we need to satisfy our unrelenting voraciousness if we can't bend the rules from time to time, even if there's collateral damage?

Jon Corzine:   What if someone had stolen my master password at MF Gloal? Huh? Happens all the time.

Michael Clayton:   The FBI likes client fraud & commingling of funds cases. They work them hard and they clear them fast. Right now there's a coffee slurping FBI forensic acccounting team pouring over MF Global Accounts. Tomorrow they're going to be fingering each and every person who had their finger in the pie, including Obama "bundlers."
[the phone rings]

Michael Clayton:   There's no play here. There's no angle. There's no champagne room. I'm not a miracle worker, I'm a janitor. The math on this is simple. The smaller the mess the easier it is for me to clean up.

Jon Corzine:  [points to the phone] That's the FBI isn't it?

Michael Clayton:   No. They don't call.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:39 | 1844552 Chrome Child
Chrome Child's picture

Own that flick - great movie.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:51 | 1844608 docloxvio
docloxvio's picture

What is the name of the movie?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:13 | 1844713 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Michael Clayton

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:28 | 1845056 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Great movie. Tom Wilkinsons characters' monologue at the start sums it up.

And Clooney's last few lines are apt :

"youre fucked"
"youre so fucked"

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 11:39 | 1845332 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Are you so f**king blind that you don't even see what I am? I sold out Arthur for 80 grand and a three year contract. I'm the easiest part of your problem and you're gonna kill me?

Karen was extremely book smart, but pathetically stupid, just like The Bernank.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:56 | 1844629 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

You don't fuck this president, THIS PRESIDENT FUCKS YOU!


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:07 | 1844684 TruthHunter
TruthHunter's picture

No the Prez is just someone else's dick....

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:17 | 1844472 Duuude
Duuude's picture


Which guy...


WASHINGTON (AP) -- The lead regulator investigating the collapse of Jon Corzine's securities firm, MF Global, worked alongside him for 18 years at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. The two later collaborated to pass a law intended to prevent accounting scandals...


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:41 | 1844564 Outlaw Of The W...
Outlaw Of The Wasteland's picture

gensler.  Another one.

Hitler was right about everything.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:12 | 1844707 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

Kennedy < Warren

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:15 | 1844720 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Kennedy & Warren > Tebow

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:16 | 1844725 Firing Pin
Firing Pin's picture

Article should be titled: "Jon Corzine Resigns from MF Global, Has Already Collected My Severance." 

Nice succinct statement; I like!



Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:49 | 1844361 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Just another Goldman Sachs scumbag. Same with the regulators, all squidly. Business as usual.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:49 | 1844362 ATM
ATM's picture

I didn't know you could collect severance while hanging from the end of a rope.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:52 | 1844370 trampstamp
trampstamp's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:52 | 1844372 Rich V
Rich V's picture

Let's hope he takes another high speed ride on the Garden State Parkway in the rain....

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:55 | 1844384 ATM
ATM's picture

Far too unsatisfying if this fuck dies in a wreck. The people want their own gratification - like in Libya.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:02 | 1844663 Vergeltung
Vergeltung's picture

that would be very nice. love to be in that crowd at the time.....

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:51 | 1844712 pelican
pelican's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:52 | 1844375 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

I'm pretty sure the chief operating officer needs to get the fuck out too.  And doesn't anybody get mother fucking fired these days?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:55 | 1844386 Hansel
Hansel's picture

And the CFO.  Nothing happens with money that the CFO doesn't know about.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:55 | 1844627 pelican
pelican's picture

I was fired as a teenager once for giving the wrong change.  $1.20 too little. (I guess working three jobs caught up with me)


To think, I could have been a great Wall Street tycoon.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:53 | 1844377 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Jon Corzine & Dick Fuld are teaming up to run a Hedge Fund called '' Come InVest Sheeples International''

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:27 | 1844761 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

It's going to be called Dick Fuld, Corzine.

Linda Green & Signman Fraud will be co-partners.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:55 | 1844385 Irish66
Irish66's picture

I'm worried about the soup company

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 07:58 | 1844394 Archimedes
Archimedes's picture

And he hired Lehman's Laywer too! What a piece of shit this guy is.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:04 | 1844395 Outlaw Of The W...
Outlaw Of The Wasteland's picture

andrew ross sorkin suspects the money is just "lost".  It could have been a "fat finger".


here horowitz from bad boys runs interference for his "co-religionists" at 85 Broad Street in typical yid style.


such flair and elan, this mensch has.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:09 | 1844436 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

The mad skills of these peeps , amazing.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:17 | 1844470 Outlaw Of The W...
Outlaw Of The Wasteland's picture

LIESman, cramer, ira ross sorkin, faber, greenberg, kaminsky, rovell, finerman, kudlow the born again "Christian", boorstin, melissa francis, "zach" karabell, jane wells.

such a mitzvah at englewood cliff everyday, itz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Itz almost as if they are put in place running/protecting a criminal enterprise (fellow "jews).

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:06 | 1844677 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Good post, but you forgot to add, and im not kidding one bit...that Kudlow is a coke addict....and a zebra never changes their

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:25 | 1844770 TruthHunter
TruthHunter's picture

"protecting a criminal enterprise (fellow "jews)"

I am reminded of the verse in the Apocalypse that says  

"I know the slander of those who say they are jews and are not"

Robert Anton Wilson points out in Illuminatus Trilogy that to conspire means to "breathe together".  Same Nitrous Oxide?


On the other hand, the West Bank and Gaza are full of people who are genetic Jews, but aren't. 

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:01 | 1844403 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Don't you love it, these dirtbags commit HUGE crimes and their punishment is "resignation".  Oh we can't prosecute him for HUGE crimes because he no longer works here.  Next stop for this POS better be Rahway or a lynching.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:05 | 1844415 HD
HD's picture

They could have at least shot him in the head with tear gas granade...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:03 | 1844406 HD
HD's picture

It's okay. He's got 99 weeks of unemployment coming...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:03 | 1844408 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Isn't he magnanimous? A true hero of the state.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:03 | 1844409 Peter K
Peter K's picture

The Hope, the change, the reality of it all.

Now we know why Corzine had a clause to let him take gov positiosn. In gov, he could do much more damage to the economy, and still have a gov pension. Just like the Bamster:)

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:05 | 1844412 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

This is a Jon Corzine re-election Biographical video (7 minutes).

Hear about how grandpa lost it all, too.

He makes my skin crawl.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 11:32 | 1845302 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Their minds truly work differently. Dissocial personality type disorders seem to be a requirement for leadership positions these days.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:05 | 1844413 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Is this what democracy looks like?  Disgusting.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:11 | 1844443 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture


He needs to start learning how to pick up the soap in the shower without bending his knees.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:13 | 1844449 grey7beard
grey7beard's picture

A republican would have taken the severence.  Both sides are corrupt scum, but at least Republicans have some balls.  What a slithering coward.  Take the money!!!!!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:14 | 1844461 j0nx
j0nx's picture

Rest easy bitches. Eric 'The Wolf' Holder is on this motherfucker.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:18 | 1844735 Firing Pin
Firing Pin's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:18 | 1844473 Anne Ominous
Anne Ominous's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:19 | 1844480 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Now he can be Prime Minister of Belgium.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:22 | 1844492 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Hpefully they go after Corzine's personal wealth to make whole clientss @ MF that lost any $$. Don't want no ore taxpayer funding for those co-mingled feckin' losses.

Take it out of Corzine's hide! Do you think it might make an impact on other CEO's?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:36 | 1844522 chunga
chunga's picture

Let's pass the hat around for this poor fella. The lousy son of a bitch is down on his luck.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:37 | 1844543 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Now, as to how he will avoid questioning by the federal authorities, that is a different matter entirely

Are you kidding? With Eric Holder as Attorney General? He is as safe as safe can be.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:57 | 1844562 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Eric Placeholder, the finest moss the north side has ever seen.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:00 | 1844650 Outlaw Of The W...
Outlaw Of The Wasteland's picture

the jews and their footsoldier blacks are making their move.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:44 | 1844577 The Continental
The Continental's picture

Corzine is a fucking scumbag two-timing greedy paper pushing con artist like all his friends at Goldman Sucks. He was gambling with other suckers' money, pure and simple. They try to make it sound kosher and sophisticated with fancy terms like repos and credit default swaps; but, this is all gambling for the big payout pure and simple. These guys would be in seedy casinos or debtors prison two generations ago. Today, the whores in the MSM hail them as financial wizards while they have destroyed the capital base of this country sucking wealth and ill gotten profits out of the system by simply moving paper and prestidigitating. Corzine bet on distressed PIIGS sovereign debt, arrogantly figuring that the sheeple of Germany would get rolled by their souless spineless whore political leaders to pay for his million dollar payday. I guess his overconfidence got his goose a well deserved cooking. This Corzine asshole deserves to be totally degorged of his ill-gotten personal wealth and then put to work scrubbing toilets at the local soup kitchen for life.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:03 | 1844667 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:11 | 1844966 TruthHunter
TruthHunter's picture

"Corzine is a fucking scumbag two-timing greedy...."

What a rant!

Makes me wonder, was his hand in your actual pocket?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:49 | 1844593 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Will MF Global be paying for Corzine's civil and/or criminal legal fees?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:55 | 1844622 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Burn the fucking place down to shreds AND THEN split...but he's such a stand up fuck not taking his severance....JUST WAIT...THE FUCK WILL BE IN OFFICE AGAIN SOON UNDER THE HNIC!!



Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:03 | 1844660 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Otherwise stated as:

"... And then finally, when there's nothing left, when you can't borrow another buck from the bank or buy another case of booze, you bust the joint out. You light a match...."


I apologize in advance to all extremely honorable-by-contrast-and-relative-standards Mafioso/La Costa Nostra & others in the organized crime business, who mostly prey on their own kind, for momentarily comparing you to the far filthier slime that exists on Wall & Broad Street, or K Street, for that matter.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:56 | 1844631 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Perhaps Corzine can make "Minimum Wage" running the paper-shredder on the graveyard shift?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 08:57 | 1844632 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Perhaps Corzine can make "Minimum Wage" running the paper-shredder on the graveyard shift?

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:06 | 1844679 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

will not collect a single penny from his $12+ million severance.

But, I will take that ticket to Costa Rica. Thanks, bye.


Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:09 | 1844688 MobBarley
MobBarley's picture

Who cares about 12 million severance when you have 1.5 billion in client funds?

Sure, some of that money has to go to the Obama re-election campaign, but

some of that money is going to his new Yacht and lovely home in sunny Bermuda!



Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:20 | 1844742 SirIssacNewton
SirIssacNewton's picture

Jon "Don" Corzine will collect his 12 MILLION.......maybe not from MF Global, but from his buddies at Goldman Sachs.  You see....that was the plan...take this firm down buddy and we will take care of you on the back end just like we've always worries.  It was Goldman and the other bankster thugs that most likely grabbed the loot with a collateral call because they didn't want to be left holding the bag and they had designed this collapse to further tighten their control.  It sounds like conspiracy hokum, but you just can't make the series of events like this $hit up.  "Don" Corzine will never see the inside of any jail cell.....his buddy is the one investigating him.....they met at the "Country" club last night and laughed about how "wink, wink" he'll investigate alright...NOT!  Jonny has screwed his clients...stolen $1.5 billion of their money....and he's still walking around free.  Every other perp that embezzles money gets jail....arghhhh!

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:20 | 1844745 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Can't wait to see where this crumb turns up next.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:37 | 1844822 EventHorizon
EventHorizon's picture

He didn't "give up" anything. He would have been an unsecured creditor in bankruptcy for his severance anyway which means he would have got none of it. The amount of wages which are treated as preferential claims in a bankruptcy is tiny, basically an amount intended to allow a $30k/yr. worker to eat for a couple weeks. The whole notion that he felt "bad" and didn't want the money is just asinine. The more you  know....

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 09:39 | 1844830 youngman
youngman's picture

He said he is not going to ask for his severence.....but that does not mean he will not get....he will just not ask for it....his lawyer will or his wife...

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 11:34 | 1845316 cornflakesdisease
cornflakesdisease's picture

Even if I vomited uncontrollably for three years non-stop; it would not even begin to express my disgust.

Sat, 11/05/2011 - 03:28 | 1848026 pasttense
pasttense's picture

How is the search for the missing funds coming?

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