Jon Corzine Resigns From MF Global, Will Not Collect Severance

Tyler Durden's picture

Jon Corzine is gone, and as we expected, will not collect a single penny from his $12+ million severance. Statement from the MF board: "The Board of Directors of MF Global Holdings Ltd. announced the resignation of Jon S. Corzine from all posts at MF Global. Mr. Corzine has confirmed that he will not seek severance payments in connection with his resignation. Edward L. Goldberg, the lead director of the Board of Directors, and Bradley I. Abelow, the Company¹s President and Chief Operating Officer, will continue in their current positions." And here is Jon's personal announcement: "I have voluntarily offered my resignation to the Board of Directors of MF Global.  This was a difficult decision, but one that I believe is best for the firm and its stakeholders. I feel great sadness for what has transpired at MF Global and the impact it has had on the firm's clients, employees and many others. I intend to continue to assist the Company and its Board in their efforts to respond to regulatory inquiries and issues related to the disposition of the firm's assets." Now, as to how he will avoid questioning by the federal authorities, that is a different matter entirely...

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GeneMarchbanks's picture

Hey! Fuck that guy!

Hard1's picture

How about banning both from receiving severance and prosecuting them!

TruthInSunshine's picture



-Michael Clayton in Jon Corzine's kitchen- Scene

Michael Clayton:   I don't know what Walter promised you but...

Jon Corzine:   A miracle worker. That's Walter on the phone twenty minutes ago. Direct quote, okay, "Hang tight, I'm sending you a miracle worker."

Michael Clayton:   Well he misspoke.

Jon Corzine:  About what? That you're the firms fixer? Or that you're any good at it?
[explodes in anger] This shit is complicated, and when you make as much as I do from connections, you tend to lose the penchant and drive to monitor the ethical, legal, moral & most basic of details, okay?  These clients are all greedy f**cks, alright, and they shouldn't have expected to swim with sharks without getting bitten! This is America, now, Michael! We don't have firms that make things of value, we only have firms that shift things of value, as in from your pocket to mine, got it! How the hell are greedy pricks like me with aspirations going to get what we need to satisfy our unrelenting voraciousness if we can't bend the rules from time to time, even if there's collateral damage?

Jon Corzine:   What if someone had stolen my master password at MF Gloal? Huh? Happens all the time.

Michael Clayton:   The FBI likes client fraud & commingling of funds cases. They work them hard and they clear them fast. Right now there's a coffee slurping FBI forensic acccounting team pouring over MF Global Accounts. Tomorrow they're going to be fingering each and every person who had their finger in the pie, including Obama "bundlers."
[the phone rings]

Michael Clayton:   There's no play here. There's no angle. There's no champagne room. I'm not a miracle worker, I'm a janitor. The math on this is simple. The smaller the mess the easier it is for me to clean up.

Jon Corzine:  [points to the phone] That's the FBI isn't it?

Michael Clayton:   No. They don't call.

Chrome Child's picture

Own that flick - great movie.

docloxvio's picture

What is the name of the movie?

equity_momo's picture

Great movie. Tom Wilkinsons characters' monologue at the start sums it up.

And Clooney's last few lines are apt :

"youre fucked"
"youre so fucked"

TruthInSunshine's picture

Are you so f**king blind that you don't even see what I am? I sold out Arthur for 80 grand and a three year contract. I'm the easiest part of your problem and you're gonna kill me?

Karen was extremely book smart, but pathetically stupid, just like The Bernank.

Sudden Debt's picture

You don't fuck this president, THIS PRESIDENT FUCKS YOU!


TruthHunter's picture

No the Prez is just someone else's dick....

Duuude's picture


Which guy...


WASHINGTON (AP) -- The lead regulator investigating the collapse of Jon Corzine's securities firm, MF Global, worked alongside him for 18 years at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. The two later collaborated to pass a law intended to prevent accounting scandals...


Outlaw Of The Wasteland's picture

gensler.  Another one.

Hitler was right about everything.

Firing Pin's picture

Article should be titled: "Jon Corzine Resigns from MF Global, Has Already Collected My Severance." 

Nice succinct statement; I like!



midgetrannyporn's picture

Just another Goldman Sachs scumbag. Same with the regulators, all squidly. Business as usual.

ATM's picture

I didn't know you could collect severance while hanging from the end of a rope.

Rich V's picture

Let's hope he takes another high speed ride on the Garden State Parkway in the rain....

ATM's picture

Far too unsatisfying if this fuck dies in a wreck. The people want their own gratification - like in Libya.

Vergeltung's picture

that would be very nice. love to be in that crowd at the time.....

I am a Man I am Forty's picture

I'm pretty sure the chief operating officer needs to get the fuck out too.  And doesn't anybody get mother fucking fired these days?

Hansel's picture

And the CFO.  Nothing happens with money that the CFO doesn't know about.

pelican's picture

I was fired as a teenager once for giving the wrong change.  $1.20 too little. (I guess working three jobs caught up with me)


To think, I could have been a great Wall Street tycoon.


LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Jon Corzine & Dick Fuld are teaming up to run a Hedge Fund called '' Come InVest Sheeples International''

TruthInSunshine's picture

It's going to be called Dick Fuld, Corzine.

Linda Green & Signman Fraud will be co-partners.


Irish66's picture

I'm worried about the soup company

Archimedes's picture

And he hired Lehman's Laywer too! What a piece of shit this guy is.

Outlaw Of The Wasteland's picture

andrew ross sorkin suspects the money is just "lost".  It could have been a "fat finger".


here horowitz from bad boys runs interference for his "co-religionists" at 85 Broad Street in typical yid style.


such flair and elan, this mensch has.

karzai_luver's picture

The mad skills of these peeps , amazing.


Outlaw Of The Wasteland's picture

LIESman, cramer, ira ross sorkin, faber, greenberg, kaminsky, rovell, finerman, kudlow the born again "Christian", boorstin, melissa francis, "zach" karabell, jane wells.

such a mitzvah at englewood cliff everyday, itz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Itz almost as if they are put in place running/protecting a criminal enterprise (fellow "jews).

orangedrinkandchips's picture

Good post, but you forgot to add, and im not kidding one bit...that Kudlow is a coke addict....and a zebra never changes their

TruthHunter's picture

"protecting a criminal enterprise (fellow "jews)"

I am reminded of the verse in the Apocalypse that says  

"I know the slander of those who say they are jews and are not"

Robert Anton Wilson points out in Illuminatus Trilogy that to conspire means to "breathe together".  Same Nitrous Oxide?


On the other hand, the West Bank and Gaza are full of people who are genetic Jews, but aren't. 

hangemhigh77's picture

Don't you love it, these dirtbags commit HUGE crimes and their punishment is "resignation".  Oh we can't prosecute him for HUGE crimes because he no longer works here.  Next stop for this POS better be Rahway or a lynching.

HD's picture

They could have at least shot him in the head with tear gas granade...

HD's picture

It's okay. He's got 99 weeks of unemployment coming...

Dr. Engali's picture

Isn't he magnanimous? A true hero of the state.

Peter K's picture

The Hope, the change, the reality of it all.

Now we know why Corzine had a clause to let him take gov positiosn. In gov, he could do much more damage to the economy, and still have a gov pension. Just like the Bamster:)

Miss Expectations's picture

This is a Jon Corzine re-election Biographical video (7 minutes).

Hear about how grandpa lost it all, too.

He makes my skin crawl.


Spastica Rex's picture

Their minds truly work differently. Dissocial personality type disorders seem to be a requirement for leadership positions these days.

Everybodys All American's picture

Is this what democracy looks like?  Disgusting.

apberusdisvet's picture


He needs to start learning how to pick up the soap in the shower without bending his knees.

grey7beard's picture

A republican would have taken the severence.  Both sides are corrupt scum, but at least Republicans have some balls.  What a slithering coward.  Take the money!!!!!

j0nx's picture

Rest easy bitches. Eric 'The Wolf' Holder is on this motherfucker.