Jon Corzine Will Not Only Not Face Prosectuion, But May Be Launching A Hedge Fund Imminently

Tyler Durden's picture


In what should be the biggst non-news of the day, the NYT is reporting that not only will Jon Corzine not face any criminal prosecution for vaporizing hundreds of millions in client money (which subsequently condensed in the JPM middle office), but will in fact be launching ... wait for it... a hedge fund. "A criminal investigation into the collapse of the brokerage firm MF Global and the disappearance of about $1 billion in customer money is now heading into its final stage without charges expected against any top executives. After 10 months of stitching together evidence on the firm’s demise, criminal investigators are concluding that chaos and porous risk controls at the firm, rather than fraud, allowed the money to disappear, according to people involved in the case." And algos... And glitches... And faulty software installs... And some junior person who has long since left the company...  and, and, and, lots and lots of passive voice... Because in the Banana republic of the crave, no bundles can ever go to jail, no matter how heinous the crime, which is not to say other places are better: in Thailand you shoot your secretary in the stomach during dinner with an Uzi and you don't even pay a $600 fine. But at least it puts things in perspective. So what is next in store for this former man of power? "Mr. Corzine, in a bid to rebuild his image and engage his passion for trading, is weighing whether to start a hedge fund, according to people with knowledge of his plans. He is currently trading with his family’s wealth. If he is successful as a hedge fund manager, it would be the latest career comeback for a man who was ousted from both the top seat at Goldman Sachs and the New Jersey governor’s mansion." So will Jon will be buying Italian bonds? We don't know. Ask him yourself.

Of course, the question remains: instead of launching Corzined LP with all those superfluous costs to cover such unnecessary items as such as legal and compliance, just fire away with a 100x levered ETF buying only Italian bonds with a ticker VPRZ.

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Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:33 | 2709837 Aziz
Aziz's picture

And there will be willing muppets lining up to give him their money so he can lose it all again?

Says it all about our disgusting society — no charges filed against Corzine for stealing from clients (and he can even start a hedge fund!), but Grand Jury already convened to prosecute Assange for telling the truth.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:34 | 2709852 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Any muppet that willfully gives Mr. Corzine their money hoping on a positive ROI deserves to lose it all.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:38 | 2709874 Aziz
Aziz's picture

Any muppet wilfully giving Corzine their money is smoking some good drugs.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:41 | 2709887 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Probably bath salts.

But seriously, "investing" with Jon Corzine makes as much sense as hiring Obama to represent you in court to protect your Constitutional rights.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:49 | 2709926 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



In other news.....the new Corzine hedgefund makes one billion dollars it's first day!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:50 | 2709931 Concentrated po...
Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.'s picture

Fuck you Jon Corzine!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:01 | 2709973 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

I'm sure more than a few congressmen will trust him. I'm sure they made good money being bought off by him. But now there's only one problem. They need a place to invest it. Jon Corzine to the rescue!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:03 | 2710054 Colombian Gringo
Colombian Gringo's picture

What a fucking disgrace! That's it, I am pulling ALL of my funds out of any futures brokerage. The CRIMEX can go to hell!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:10 | 2710121 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



"......with liberty and justice for all."

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:17 | 2710199 malikai
malikai's picture

I pledge allegience to the flag, of the United Feifdoms of America.

And to the Republic, for which it once stood.

One nation, forsaken by God.

With liberty and justice for none.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:21 | 2710241 redpill
redpill's picture

I don't understand how this piece of shit is allowed to walk the streets.  Oh wait he doesn't, he rides limos and jets, while the people he fucked over are still short their money.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:27 | 2710270 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Easy ... Ombama and Houlder ...

The BUCK stops Right There.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:52 | 2710472 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Don't kid yourself.  The Republican candidates could make great hay from this whole sordid situation -- but they won't.  The reason is that if they obtain the driver's seat they'll have to kiss the same asses.   They certainly don't want to bite the hands that are feeding the beast.   It's a non-starter politically.   Therefore, you can't blame any politician for not pursuing the case.    They are all in the tank for the same sharks.

I gotta stop now -- the mixture of metaphors is giving me a headache.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:09 | 2710573 Nage42
Nage42's picture

So, in the face of clear and complete corruption, where the rule of law has obviously broken down... is there even one man among them?

Some months ago, a desperate greek national appealed to this board saying: "Greece is in the shit" [para.] and most replied... "no one is gonna help you bud, you gotta help yourself..." So, who in yankersville is going to "do the needful!"?

Anyone?  Anyone?  Beuller?  Anyone?


Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:53 | 2710810 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

So let me get this straight no law was broken and no one broke the law when money from segregated accounts was used to pay off company obligations?  Did I hear this right?  Someone stole $1.6 billion and is going to get away with it?  WTF?  Either our laws are way too fucked up (I don't think they are) or there is some fucked up shit going on...I hope someone has the nuts to take this fucker down. 

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 13:13 | 2711111 MarsInScorpio
MarsInScorpio's picture



They won't.


You are talking about a complete criminalization of our society.


I have to admit, it is truly unbelievable, but obviously you have to believe it anyway.


"Amen. Come Lord Jesus."


After this validation of all you ever believed about the complete takeover by the criminal class, does anyone out there have a more likely way for things to change?


Thu, 08/16/2012 - 14:07 | 2711359 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

As part of the pre-prosecution deal, Corzine agreed to provide testimony that Assange tried to rape him

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 06:58 | 2713529 tonyw
tonyw's picture

Yeah, but they only "allowed the money to disappear", NO it didn't disappear every cent an be accounted for.

The laws are only fucked up for Joe Public, they make perfect sense for the big corps that write them and have the politicians in their pockets.

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 05:02 | 2713465 macbone
macbone's picture

Why is he even still alive?

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:23 | 2710254 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Related the latest interview with Ann Barnhardt on WROL financial markets:

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:26 | 2710278 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Do you mean "with liberty, injustice for all?"

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:37 | 2710370 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

for y'all

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:04 | 2710125 Stackers
Stackers's picture

As CEO of the company isnt Corzine responsible for gross negligence due to his "pourous risk managment" that was obviously so "pourous" as to be non-exisitant ???

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:56 | 2709967 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

i wonder if InTrade will set a line of how long it takes for corzine to vaporize these funds?  i think the early money would bet +/- 13 months.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:57 | 2709986 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Is it true that JPM is going to invest the exact amount that they stole from MF Global?

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:55 | 2710498 metastar
metastar's picture

I suspect he will investments in private prisons for muppets.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:30 | 2710307 Davalicious
Davalicious's picture

In other news, the "Batman killer" is the son of the chief scientist testifying at the LIBOR senate hearing (or perhaps not).

Some people get this site coming up as spam. Just google someone else's copy of the information.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:35 | 2709854 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

sign my up!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:35 | 2709859 dannyboy
dannyboy's picture

I'd put money on people being that fucking retarded to give this shitball money to steal. Tiz how dem muppets operate.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:35 | 2709860 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

... United States Of Corruption ...

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:36 | 2709974 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

I apologize for posting links to 2 of my stories below, but goddmanit, putting Corzine in jail ought to be a campaign issue for this Fall.

The corruption is there at DOJ for everyone to see, and yet nothing happens.

Considering that Obama and Romney are more or less the SAME dolt, some might pull the lever for Mittens if it meant Corzine would be prosecuted.

This link has all the evidence, straight from the lips of Obama, Biden and Corzine himself.

The REAL REASONS Jon Corzine won't be going to prison

And then there's this bit of inconvenient truth:

Eric Holder Was Partner In Firm That Represented MF Global

Sat, 08/18/2012 - 08:47 | 2710374 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture



I agree it should be a campaign issue but even if it isn't with this level of corruption by obama and his justice department that in itself should be enough to vote  him out. 

Report: Cronyism, political donations likely behind Obama, Holder failure to charge any bankers after 2008 financial meltdown

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:47 | 2710452 chunga
chunga's picture

Thanks Daily Bail.

It's a great site for those unfamiliar.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:38 | 2709879 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

He'll probably get some start up money from the government in an effort to create more Green jobs.  Our green for his pockets.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:39 | 2709886 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Can we at least get a list of Corzine's holdings when he does this so we can short the shit out of them? Playing the flip side of his trades is like a 3x leveraged play off the opposite of Goldman. Thats how bad he sucks.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:54 | 2709941 phalfa5
phalfa5's picture

The muppetts will be fleeced, the insiders will make out like bandits ...   again... still.  And without fear of prostitution ,  uhhh  prosecution.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:57 | 2709992 yrad
yrad's picture



oh, there he is....

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:08 | 2710100 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

Muppet Fleecing Global - Is it really Corzine's fault if people don't do their due dilligence and find out what the company's acronym stands for?

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:29 | 2710182 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture



"Aziz Says it all about our disgusting society — no charges filed against Corzine for stealing from clients (and he can even start a hedge fund!)"

It says more about our CORRUPT politicians then our society



Report: Cronyism, political donations likely behind Obama, Holder failure to charge any bankers after 2008 financial meltdown



Ann Barnhard's warning...



What this means is that even if Jon Corzine is somehow dragged into court by private citizens, because you know damn good and well that the Justice Department will never, ever touch him, Corzine now has a legal precedent, likely from a bribed or otherwise coerced Federal Appeals Court, explicitly stating that an FCM can use customer deposits to pay its debts, and that the customers themselves are subjugated and have basically no legal right to their own monies, no matter what the law says, or what legal assurances, claims or guarantees are made to that customer about their funds held with an FCM or any other brokerage or depository institution. The "secured" party at the front of the line will always be the mega-bank who made the fraudulent loan using the stolen customer funds as collateral.

In other words, all customer funds in the United States are now the legal property of JP Morgan, Goldman Sachs, BNYM, or whichever megabank is the counterparty on the loans the FCM or depository institution takes out in order to fund its mega-levered proprietary in-house trading desks.

For the love of God, I don't know what more there could possibly be to say to snap you people out of your normalcy bias trance. You have GOT to get ALL MONIES out of the financial system NOW. This ruling sets precedence for every depository institution, not just futures brokerages. It is now legal in the United States for any financial institution to steal customer funds, borrow money against those funds for the uber-levered proprietary trading use of the financial institution, and the customers have ZERO CLAIM TO THEIR OWN FUNDS once they are in the custody of the financial institution.

The court has ruled that once your money passes out of your PHYSICAL POSSESSION, and I mean PHYSICAL possession, it is no longer yours, and you have no legal claim or legal recourse to it when it is stolen. This includes BANK ACCOUNTS. Money in a bank is in the possession of the BANK, not you. Do you comprehend this? The entire system is utterly devoid of any integrity or genuine security and is breaking down catastophically before our very eyes. You HAVE to comprehend that your money sitting in an account is no longer legally yours. You have to force your brain to process and comprehend this, no matter how incomprehensible it may seem. IT IS OVER. This is Marxist hell. We have arrived.

This ruling and precedent will be used by every brokerage, every bank, every insurance company and every pension fund to deny you your money when the financial system finally collapses, be it on Monday, or be it two years from now.


You have GOT to GET OUT.

And all of this goes straight back to the criminal mafia that is the National Futures Association, and the fact that they have not actually been auditing those firms who were in the "cosa nostra", and allowing Ponzi schemes to operate with full bureaucratic protection for decades. Sentinel. PFG Best. The legal precedent enabling this protection racket and blatant fraud and thievery is fully in force, and what Corzine did at MF Global is now legally PROTECTED.

in full


Karl agree's

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:19 | 2710218 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

Greed is still GOOD.

Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:36 | 2710719 willyt2
willyt2's picture

What a total crock of shit this is. He is blatantly ALLOWED to steal money from people wthtout any consequences. He has his head so far up Obama's ass and is now being protected for being the biggest thief since the dirty 30's. He's no better than Bugsy Malone, Al Capone, Lucky Luciano and so on and so on. Their letting this guy just simply steal.

How disheartening is this to all the people who trust in our fincanial system, or furthermore to the people who lost all theri money. Oh yeah I forgot they don't mean anything individually, colectively they are a huge payday for the big guys.

 In my humble opinion our financial system / society is FUBAR. Not likely to get any better in the future either if Obama/Romney get eleceted. We might as well kiss all of our hard earned savings good-bye and get ready to become a third world country. The manipulation of Wall Street &  PM's, where does it leave us all? It's all so fucked up unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:32 | 2709839 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture


Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:32 | 2709840 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Corzined LP.

2/20 value added.......and its gone.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:33 | 2709842 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

He's Fucking SUPERMAN !!!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:39 | 2709885 A Man without Q...
A Man without Qualities's picture

He must be fucking someone powerful to get away with all this shit...

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:41 | 2709895 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

More powerful than Superman?

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:42 | 2709898 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Who was MF's attorney before the collapse? 

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:06 | 2710083 Vaiman
Vaiman's picture

And someone powerful is screwing everyone else

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:18 | 2710201 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Jon Cuntzine is too "public" Plus, he knows where all the bodies are buried a.k.a. CONgressional acts of criminal fucking mischief....(SEE: Mark Foley for starters..........looooong list to add). This shit-eater goes down, others will too. Insurance by mass corruption.

I pray nightly that the turd's heart explodes inside his lying chest, and/or a parasite bites his ass and body parts start falling off the man.

Cuntzine.....your pussy STANKS

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