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JPM Releases Trading Forecast - Expects 30% drop in Q3

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In a brief moment of bumility, JPM's masters of the universe admit, well, they are not. The firm sees markets revenue -30% from Q2 2011, sees lower asset management revenues, expects a modest loss in private equity, and will recognize additional litigation expenses. Overall corporate net income is expected to be a small loss.

 

Market reaction predictable enough in this crazy world - JPM stock rallies from 1-2.5% (and CDS -2bps) which is better than broad financials at +1.3%.

 

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Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:00 | 1663346 Gubbmint Cheese
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JPM being rewarded for their honesty.. The market creams itself anytime Dimon speaks.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:04 | 1663357 GeneMarchbanks
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Dimon is an amazing God-like individual in the opinion of Wall St experts. I mean, his bank took 25B against their will to protect the financial system. Patriot and hero of his generation no doubt.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:21 | 1663470 malikai
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Proof that they are truly making sacrifices to save us all. God bless the Morgue!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1663491 jcmjr
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What an arrogant fuck!!

 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:06 | 1663371 Quinvarius
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I have noticed that when Dimon starts crying about something, the market begins imploding.  He is the new Obama.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:02 | 1663352 Shineola
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So, silver can rise now?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:06 | 1663369 GeneMarchbanks
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No, it goes on sale in 3... 2...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:02 | 1663353 Cdad
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And some other criminal syndicate Wall Street bank just upgraded the shares.  Makes perfect sense, since the algo of the day is unwind shorts on banks and sell gold.  The only signal you need to search for today is the reverse of that stupidity.

Everything else is simply cover, confusion, Ponzi, or what have you.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:05 | 1663364 HelluvaEngineer
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SWAG: I think we run to 1174ish (ES) and then roll over.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:09 | 1663385 GeneMarchbanks
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Tomorrow we go over 1200 because of... you guessed it: EUROBONDS. System is fixed, go back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:12 | 1663400 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I'd really, really like someone to explain this market's absolute obsession with consumer discretionary stocks.  The price action in this group simply represents stupidity squared.  

I have a theory...but would really be curious to hear opinions on this curious matter.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:15 | 1663425 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

I think it's because the only "investing" going on these days is done by people who have no concept of how something should be priced, nor do they care.  If you ask what fair value is they'll give you a blank stare.  Ref: CMG msg board.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:28 | 1663509 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Yeah, but CMG is not moving on retail trading.  Those shares move on a consistent and tenacious matched lot trading scheme.  You can see it every day, especially in the morning.  In fact, it is so obvious, that even a Jr. SEC intern could see it...if she chose to.

But that isn't what I am talking about.  I'm talking about the constant pumping of this entire group [less the out of favor names] on a daily basis and by criminal syndicate Wall Street analyst community.  But maybe you are right...maybe that gig is simply pumping stocks that average Joe knows...but then again the problem with that is...average Joe is nowhere near this market, so what would the point be?

Very curious.  As the greater American Depression rolls on unabated, Wall Street bids....SHOPPING!  

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:41 | 1663516 GeneMarchbanks
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Entirely plausible. Remember, we are at the end of a Ponzi so now it's just about shoving people into the scheme. Who cares that you're an Ethiopian teenager without a clue about finance, get in there and buy some stock!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:02 | 1663354 Robslob
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Market creams on "the people" evertime Dimoney speaks

 

There...fixed.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:04 | 1663358 malikai
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Luring suckers in on the short side to get slaughtered by the Benocidal put.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:04 | 1663363 alien-IQ
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naturally, with that news, the stock is now 2.62% higher...and climbing...because....fuckit...just because.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:09 | 1663384 Dumpster Fire
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At some point, the counter-intuitive will become so ingrained as to appear rational.  Just a matter of perspective I guess.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:07 | 1663373 youngman
youngman's picture

Now that is a very big cut...30%....I bet there are some pink papers being printed right now...job cuts...but of course only after Obama can short sell them can they announce......

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:13 | 1663410 Raymond Reason
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Dimon was just on TV three weeks ago bragging about how they are building 50 new Chase branches in Cali.  So the new focus must be on overdraft fees as bread and butter. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:23 | 1663480 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I nominate J. Dimon to lead the Lear jet exodus.  Any moment now...bankers flying off to nonextradition countries.

Holding my breath and praying...for the Republic's sake.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1663492 malikai
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When this is all said and done, there will be nowhere for them or their families to hide.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:21 | 1663464 Rainman
Rainman's picture

It's all bullshit...small loss my ass. They'll be BTE on loan loss reserve tinkering. We've seen this movie before.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:34 | 1663544 youngman
youngman's picture

Yes they are all talking to Bernanake and Geitner...planning the next bailout....I mean why is Geitner in Europe today????  Makes one wonder....did he need a fresh Toblerone chocolate bar....NOT

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:08 | 1663681 learning2
learning2's picture

I didn't see this published at ZeroHedge yet, so I'm posting it here...

This is an excerpt from LegitGov.Org's published version of the FBI's 'Psychological Profiles of Anonymous Leadership' http://www.legitgov.org/Leaked-FBI-Anonymous-profiles which has been modified [within brackets] to provide more information which is well documented within public records and alternative news sites, and of late, facts are now being provided on mass media which are owned by these criminals....http://www.legitgov.org/Leaked-FBI-Anonymous-profiles

These leaders and groups [e.g., banksters, corporations, Federal Reserve, BIS, IMF, JP Morgan, Bank of America, Soros, Bloomberg, Congress, Senate, Pentagon, CIA, DOD, and numerous others which we are generally aware of and others which we are not yet aware of] may not be chatting in the open areas of the IRC, but in fact have learned from the experiences of this group to be more discreet about their activities and planning. The overall assessment for the movement however is the following:

1. The movement is out of control and there seems to be no real coherent motivation [other than their own psychopath desires and advantage. Their personal and business behaviors are for self-fulfillment only. Their behavior and actions are well documented in public records for decades, most notably over the past 40 years. Most of the world's general population has been busy with mundane issues such as earning money and surviving due to these psychopaths (e.g., income has decreased for the general population - U.S. population has experienced a decrease in income since the mid 1970s, education within the U.S. is ranked about 49th of all sovereign nations, and 0.01% of the U.S. populations controls/owns over 80% of the resources/fiat money supply). These psychopathic individuals, corporations, government, and other less know entities, have complete disregard and do not care about adverse affects or consequences to the local population, states, sovereign nations, which has resulted in the continued detriment and destruction of the global environment for their own gains and psychological pleasure (for example, see RT.Com for special documentary on plastics in the ocean, earth and living beings - http://rt.com/programs/documentary/usa-oceans-europe-rubbish/ .]

2. The leaders have begun to hide themselves a bit more due to arrests [of minor players set up to distract the masses and to provide the facade that the government(s) are acting on behalf of the masses, such as Madoff event, and other larger public statements and intentions, such as investigations, threats or filing of suits to placate the masses. For example, articles are being published about the Attorney Generals of 50 states are investigating banking behavior although New York's AG is mysterious removed from the panel, SEC is investigating corporate non-disclosure and deception although SEC was regulated to enforce and mandate behavior that has been ignored while not adhering to the SEC's own requirements of function and purposes. These recent behaviors by agencies such as the SEC, Department of Justice, HLS and other agencies have been activating a public facade to distract the masses from other known and, as of yet, unknown illegal behavior against humanity and the universe. However, the very, very few individuals of the global community, who have followed events and spoken out and shared their findings throughout the past 40 years - and especially the past 12 years - are finally influencing those who have been too busy with daily survival and chose to ignore the facts in order to complicate their lives less and to have some free time without worries. It is coming to light to the general masses that secret meetings which should be public are in fact being conducted in private, such as closed hearings of the Senate and Congress, G7, G20, IMF and many other groups and entities.]

3. Their reliance on technology will eventually be their downfall [A few examples include: flash trading, legal insider trading by Senate and Congress, government intervention and manipulation by federal government entities. Follow developments and insights on global economic psychopathic behavior on ZeroHedge.Com, LegitGov.Com and MaxKeiser.Com]

4. Their interpersonal relationships are weak points, as such they should be leveraged [e.g., offer and selling of valueless stocks, investments, etc like CDS, MBS, CMBS and similar ponzi schemes, large number of pedophiles, and other anti-social sexual and non-sexual behaviors which generally reflect typical behaviors of psychopaths. Psychopaths do not have close personal relationships with others because they are incapable of such intimate and empathetic behavior, learn more about psychopaths at Sott.Net]

5. Their increasing attacks on infrastructure [e.g., water, food, air, land, human welfare, family welfare, liberty, freedom, free will, free speech, and other basic human rights] will eventually lead to serious results that could in fact lead to deaths [such as continued genocide of sovereign, increased homeless individuals and families, increased violence towards people of the general public, increase race and minority crimes, and increased crime. All of these activities have, or continue to occur in these places: Haiti, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Cuba, Iraq, New Orleans, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Palestine and hundreds of other nations.]

It is after the first real attributable deaths [which will result, unfortunately, as a result of stress and minimal methods of coping and surviving by the general public. The preferred method of eliminating the threats by psychopaths, and their minions which are essential to the psychopath for their continued success, will be public trials, sentencing and imprisoning of these psychopaths and those who assist psychopaths in their actions. It is through public prosecution and exposing individual psychopaths and their groups of interfacing fellow psychopaths ] that there may be a tapering off of their ranks as the members [of the global population] realize that by outing individuals, actual physical actions can occur that cause great damage [to these psychopaths in general and benefit the global population]. Until such time though, the movement will continue with the masses [or general public] used as fodder and the command structure [currently set in place by these psychopaths who continue in] urging them [the general public] on to carry out their commands.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:18 | 1663719 madddmaxxx
madddmaxxx's picture

CNBC finally "broke" this story, only 1 hour 20 minutes after ZH. A good example of why I love this site.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:27 | 1663767 getplaning
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The more you pay for sex, the better the economy

 

http://www.economywatch.com/economy-business-and-finance-news/Latvian_hooker_index_no_recovery_in_sight_19-07.html

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