• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Juncker 'Hoped For More' As Italy And Spain (Oh, And Ireland Now) Get (To Share Same-Size) 'Band-Aid'

Tyler Durden's picture




 

So To Clarify: Dropped seniority and overseeing of ESM (unratified) and EFSF rescue funds (which will not be boosted in size) to fund not just Italy and Spain but Ireland too...conditioned on agreeing to EU banking oversight

UPDATE2: The Irish are all-in:

  • *IRELAND'S KENNY SAYS WHAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE IS NOW POSSIBLE
  • *IRELAND TO GET EQUAL TREATMENT WITH OTHERS, KENNY SAYS

UPDATE:

  • *MONTI SAYS EURO LEADERS HAVE NO PLAN FOR BOOSTING BAILOUT FUNDS
  • *ITALY HAS NO INTENTION TO `APPLY FOR THIS,' MONTI SAYS

Early morning (drunk-dialing/texting) headlines from the EU Summit that there has been some short-term measures approved in terms of the removal of the seniority preference for ESM/EFSF rescue fund recaps of Italian and Spanish banks (though no details of the levels of dilution, cram-downs, or amounts have been discussed). The market, being as thin as it can be, is ripping higher on this realistically 'not much' news - though clearly someone 'blinked' a little. Headlines via Bloomberg:

  • *EURO LEADERS RENOUNCE SENIORITY ON SPAIN LOANS
  • *EURO LEADERS AGREE TO OPEN FUNDS WITHOUT AUSTERITY PROGRAMS
  • *BANKS CAN RECAPPED DIRECTLY WITH AID FUNDS, VAN ROMPUY SAYS

But it's not all free-money and unicorn tears:

  • *MERKEL SAYS EU LEADERS TO CONTINUE WORK ON LONG-TERM MEASURES
  • *JUNCKER SAYS WOULD HAVE `HOPED FOR MORE' FROM EU SUMMIT
  • *EU BANK SUPERVISION IS CONDITION FOR ESM LOANS TO BANKS: RUTTE

We await news from Germany's 'governing bodies' on ESM ratification.

 

S&P 500 e-mini futures jumped 15pts or so on the news and EURUSD tore almost 200pips straight up. Both are leaking back notably as reality sinks in (but all those stops are gone now). Gold, Silver, Oil, and Copper all soaring higher as for now only 5Y Treasury yields are really moving higher.

EURUSD exuberance...to less than 1 week highs though...

 

and ES back to 'pre-Spain bailout close' and 'post-Greek election open levels'...

 

Charts: Bloomberg

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Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:05 | 2572135 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

SURRRRRRPRISE!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:07 | 2572141 rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

To van Rompoy, Hey unelected corrupt asshole, Forgot Finland? Germany?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:11 | 2572150 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Hey, who gives a fuck.  My mobile phone just rang with a 'breaking news' flash from CNBC saying this shit is fixed up and futures are surging.

What are you implying?  That this is rigged or some shit?

Market will like...triple or something.  I don't know exactly.  But, it's gonna be like seriously fucking great.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:15 | 2572172 Animal Cracker
Animal Cracker's picture

Last one in's a rotten egg!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:18 | 2572180 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

You mean selling 37.00s up to 40.00 - right?  

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:23 | 2572195 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Now we know why there was a late day ramp.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:26 | 2572208 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Well, that helps 'recapitalize' the banks also, right?  They've only been gaming the market as a back-door bailout for about 4 fucking years now.

Nice to have the entire script before the market opens.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:31 | 2572225 Chris Jusset
Chris Jusset's picture

Will someone please ... please just wake me when it's all over ... please? ...

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:41 | 2572237 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Goldman asked for 1350's with a 'please'.  How could you not give it to 'em....they're such great guys and all.

 

 

 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 00:47 | 2572323 Michael
Michael's picture

As a follow up to the movie Hunger Games, I'm thinking about writing a new movie script called Oligarch Hunters or Hunting Oligarchs, and a companion first person shooter video game of the same name.

There would be a point system such as 1000 points for a top oligarch, 750 points for an oligarch spouse, and 500 points for each offspring, etc,etc. You get the idea, there are so many possibilities.

It'll probably gross me $100 million easy.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:16 | 2572173 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Didn't you hear? Obama finally came out today! He's in the fucking club. This is his coming out party. And he'd better be paying attention.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 01:21 | 2572338 Cadavre
Cadavre's picture

What happened today - the market was jumping like some big FED stinky USD shart dump. WTF is going on. This morning's futures tick looked rational (down). Even after the FTSE close the ticks behaved rationally (down), At end of market it looked like the tea leafs were singing "happy days are here again".

OK, someone is buying USD's? But who? Could it be the white shooed multi generational psycho-pimp crime family "brokering" the Morgue's 350 Billion (of excess customer deposits WTF!) play from prop desks inside the gypsy bankers' red light shadow district ponzi centers are front running Spanish bonds (again)?

The date March 31 2012 holds some double secret that, fer sure, can explain it all!

On another topic ...
It looks like Bloomberg reporters discovered that the stinky, is indeed, a nice steaming bowel (SP) of nasty doody. Did you hear the joke about the three Bloomberg reporters walking through central park after spending their lunch hour idly hanging around the the park's men's rooms? As they're returning to work with a tummy full of man juice, they approach what appears to be an extruded brown mass on and stop. One reporter says, "That sure looks like shit". The second reporter crouches close to the mass, draws a deep snort, and offers. "It sure smells like shit". The third reporter bends down, scoops some onto his fingers, puts it in his mouth, and, after a second or too running it across his taste buds, says, "It taste like shit too!". They look at each other, and chorus in unison, "Sure glad we didn't step in it!".

Back in March, a ZH Poster wrote ...

One HFT box is trading with itself - well not actually trading - but pretending to trade for the purpose of price discovery,

I guess, if we accept that no-trade offers that are canceled until "the sweet spot" price is discovered (glory be double halalulya), in order to facilitate the one, the only lone HFT box in the universe, between games of chess, of course, may or may not buy or sale shares from, or to, itself can be called market liquidity if that's what the HFT wants to call what it's doing, then, by all means, let it call it "liquidity".

In a June 21 Bloomberg story titled, Wash Trading by High-Frequency Firms Said to Face U.S. Scrutiny, a Bloomberg hack finally assessed the smelly expensive gourmet pâté slogged down as a lunch appetizer was really just a fresh turd from the chef's cat box ...
So-called wash trades, in which a party buys a contract from itself, could be executed inadvertently by firms with multiple algorithms active in the same stock or derivative, said the people, who requested anonymity because the review isn’t public. Such trades, which can alter the price of shares if they are executed above or below market rates, would be illegal if deemed intentional efforts to manipulate stocks.

How much does the short guy pot head mayor pay those limp dicked lump sucks anyway?

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 01:40 | 2572374 HaroldWang
HaroldWang's picture

Both are leaking back notably as reality sinks in...

Nope. Not leaking back at all at this hour. Like I said earlier, how is this going to make earnings better for US companies who are all going to report shitty quarters?? How will this resolve all the issues our government can't even fathom regarding a "fiscal cliff". How will this....never mind - it's party time!

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 01:14 | 2572347 anonum
anonum's picture

The people of the forementioned nations (Germany, Finland) are forgotten, consistently and deliberately.

I live in one of the them, and by God, I'd hope to see a bit more reaction from the people due to all this bullshit.

But no, I guess we the sheeple have been conditionalized - perhaps by some chemical substance in our mother's milk already - to not truly conditionalize our mainstream media and leaders.

It makes me a saaaad panda...

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 01:20 | 2572357 chump666
chump666's picture

If you live in Germany you should be pissed beyond pissed, the weak and crappy countries of EU will leech off the ESM/ESFS at your expense.  Merkel will be panicking and probably end up with a heart seizure after the hedge funds of the world blow bunds into the ground.

Europe is a mess.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 04:20 | 2572502 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

I sending my capital out of Germany like there is no tomorrow. Thnk good that we have 2 passports.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 04:21 | 2572503 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

The Euro is nothing else than Versailles II. The fucking French insisted on this shit, now they should go and shove it up their XXX.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 08:37 | 2572754 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

You can't help but laugh at the Germans, they must be stupid or something.  Versailles was imposed.  This is volontary.  This is a method of looting Germany.  For what?  The glory of Europe?  Germans are the world's stupidest losers. 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:16 | 2572175 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

a scaled out view of this move in crude and 6E - http://hedge.ly/L6jTBq -- notice the volume of 6E.. dwarfs last 8 hours of trading..

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:07 | 2572142 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

CNBC Asia reporting new Central Bank fund to be formed in Europe to recapitalize all the bad banks.

 

Wow, I knew they would solve the problem at the worst possible time for the bears.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:09 | 2572147 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

 

The can shall be kicked!

"So let it be written. So let it be done."

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:17 | 2572177 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

The can called and said they are running out of road....

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:13 | 2572161 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Its a Festivus Miracle!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:16 | 2572174 Animal Cracker
Animal Cracker's picture

Festivus for the best of us!

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 00:37 | 2572317 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Its a VIRTUAL GLOBAL JUBILEE !!

errr...a virtuous local bloke party.

ooohh...a tempest in a teapot...with incoming can kicked and then to carrom into the fan blades.

Its a sh*t filled can.

Welcome to the Saturday after.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:20 | 2572186 westboundnup
westboundnup's picture

Doin' it at the park.  Doin' it after dark.

/whisper

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:56 | 2572265 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

@robo Are you serious? They are proposing a new central bank? Got a link. I give up.

 

Fuckitfuckitfuckit!

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 01:43 | 2572379 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Solved with what money? German constitutional court is blocking ESM. German president Gauck said, he will not sign ESM into law before cleared by German constitutional court. Today new lawsuits were filed against ESM in Karlsruhe. Lot's of work for the constitutional court.

But maybe the Spanish can rescue the Italian and the Italian can rescue the Spanish. All will be fine, LOL.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:08 | 2572144 Let The Wurlitz...
Let The Wurlitzer Play's picture

Sounds like a good time to really short the Euro.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:08 | 2572145 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Poor Doug Noland once again will have to report this weekend that the bears had to endure yet another "Rip Your Face Off" rally.

 

LOL....

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:55 | 2572261 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

No, the bears had to endure another "Change the rules when they work against you!" rally.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 02:12 | 2572407 John_Coltrane
John_Coltrane's picture

Don't know what your think people are shorting, but I've got puts I bought  on C, MS, ANR, FSLR, X, GRPN and RIMM in April and May and they're all deep in the money and I've been rolling these puts down in strike and out in duration since December with lots of profits locked up in cash.  You're not stupid enough to short (or go long for that matter) an index like DIA or SPY are you?  Yes, I believe from your previous comments you might be.  Oh, and if you want to get in its still not too late to buy puts on any or all of these as all these money losing companies are going to zero-so strike price is relatively unimportant-just choose long duration, say January.  Can't imagine anyone stupid enough to buy anything at these levels with a world wide recession in the offing.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:11 | 2572154 zebra
zebra's picture

the trade bot would be triggered even on announcement like "EU leaders agree to have a pajama party together"

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:12 | 2572158 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

Drunk texting FTW.

If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time.

Thoughts of pretty you and me, Erotic City come alive.

We can print until the dawn, making cash 'til ink is gone

Erotic city can't you see, print so pretty you and me.

 

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:33 | 2572159 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Which should have a half life of an " AMOEBA"!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:13 | 2572160 Eternal Complainer
Eternal Complainer's picture

Look at them! They are all working sooo hard to save us all!
They're like a bunch of superheroes out to save the world.
Behold!

/sarc

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:14 | 2572165 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Wasn't this just two articles before this?

UPDATE: ES has lost over 60% of its late-day spike gains...

I love how everyone still pretends like this is in anyway legit from time to time.  You know, when it's convienent.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:13 | 2572166 blindman
blindman's picture

Nigel Farage : This EU is now a Union of Debt

http://geraldcelentechannel.blogspot.com/2012_06_28_archive.html
"Nigel Farage is so right on so? many issues. I also love how he gets in these technocrats faces! This world needs more men like The only real solution is a total credit reset....to wash clean ALL debts....home mortgages, credit cards, etc.....ALL debts erased and the entire world markets will start afresh. Damn banksters and politicians have robbed and lived like kings....let these banks fail and put these crooks in prison. ? Eliminating mortgages, credit card debt, etc. is only a small token compared to what the banksters have stolen from us. "

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:14 | 2572169 km4
km4's picture

China eyes yuan convertibility as it sets up trial zone http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-18639212

Ben and Timmay shitting pants ;)

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:13 | 2572170 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

I just shorted the Euro $100K.    I should be rich by morning.   Thanks EU idiots.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 12:20 | 2573573 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

dumb fuck....its tomorrow and you are sunstantially underwater and in a short squeeze

although i suspect your post is bullshit

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:15 | 2572171 adr
adr's picture

So is it free money, or almost free money, or money with pledges of gold, or free money if X is done with the support of Y without offending Z?

I can't figure it out anymore. ES can drop 1% in 30 seconds or rise 30 seconds later. It is impossible to react.

 

Can we stop calling it a "Market". It exists as HAL, or Skynet, or WOPR, or STEVE. It can only ramp if proper words are plastered in headlines. Any mention of "Merkel" followed by a "0" will result in a 1% increase within 5 minutes. A headline with "Merkel" followed by "dead" will result in a 10% ramp within 30 seconds.

Just like how a headline of "Tropical Storm" with "Gulf of Mexico" sends oil futures up 2% in seconds.

SkyHALOPR9000 is self aware and exists for the sole purpose of separating you from your wealth. The only winning move is not to play, or is it that judgement day is inevitable, or that the bay doors are closed.

In every way possible we're fucked.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:16 | 2572176 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

One well placed mini nuke. That's all I ask for.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:17 | 2572178 AmenRa
AmenRa's picture

It means nothing until Germany states their position.

 

Monti just said grounds have been laid for eurobonds. He must have poiosned Merkel's food.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:18 | 2572179 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

I'm not surprised that this announcement was made the night before quarter end.

 

Just in time for the fabled "Quarter End Statement Print".

All major indexes will close the quarter still green for the year.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:22 | 2572191 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

Yeah, funny how that shit always happens.  Rigged?  Naaaah.  No more than the LIEbor, anyway.  ;-)

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:54 | 2572257 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

I was starting to worry that my fellow Americans and I would not be enjoying the prosperous fourth of July we all deserve.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:24 | 2572203 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

Are staying long? If so, you are stupid.  This pop will not hold.  I've already made $13K shorting the Euro from the pop. 20mins.  Easy money for the Bear.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 23:26 | 2572206 robs98ss
robs98ss's picture

very true, the bad news is, the next quarter starts monday

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 00:33 | 2572312 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

and in less than 24 hrs Merkel will deny

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