Juncker 'Hoped For More' As Italy And Spain (Oh, And Ireland Now) Get (To Share Same-Size) 'Band-Aid'

Tyler Durden's picture

So To Clarify: Dropped seniority and overseeing of ESM (unratified) and EFSF rescue funds (which will not be boosted in size) to fund not just Italy and Spain but Ireland too...conditioned on agreeing to EU banking oversight

UPDATE2: The Irish are all-in:




Early morning (drunk-dialing/texting) headlines from the EU Summit that there has been some short-term measures approved in terms of the removal of the seniority preference for ESM/EFSF rescue fund recaps of Italian and Spanish banks (though no details of the levels of dilution, cram-downs, or amounts have been discussed). The market, being as thin as it can be, is ripping higher on this realistically 'not much' news - though clearly someone 'blinked' a little. Headlines via Bloomberg:


But it's not all free-money and unicorn tears:


We await news from Germany's 'governing bodies' on ESM ratification.


S&P 500 e-mini futures jumped 15pts or so on the news and EURUSD tore almost 200pips straight up. Both are leaking back notably as reality sinks in (but all those stops are gone now). Gold, Silver, Oil, and Copper all soaring higher as for now only 5Y Treasury yields are really moving higher.

EURUSD exuberance...to less than 1 week highs though...


and ES back to 'pre-Spain bailout close' and 'post-Greek election open levels'...


Charts: Bloomberg

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rajat_bhatia's picture

To van Rompoy, Hey unelected corrupt asshole, Forgot Finland? Germany?

Boilermaker's picture

Hey, who gives a fuck.  My mobile phone just rang with a 'breaking news' flash from CNBC saying this shit is fixed up and futures are surging.

What are you implying?  That this is rigged or some shit?

Market will like...triple or something.  I don't know exactly.  But, it's gonna be like seriously fucking great.

Fidel Sarcastro's picture

You mean selling 37.00s up to 40.00 - right?  

SilverIsKing's picture

Now we know why there was a late day ramp.

Boilermaker's picture

Well, that helps 'recapitalize' the banks also, right?  They've only been gaming the market as a back-door bailout for about 4 fucking years now.

Nice to have the entire script before the market opens.

Chris Jusset's picture

Will someone please ... please just wake me when it's all over ... please? ...

Xibalba's picture

Goldman asked for 1350's with a 'please'.  How could you not give it to 'em....they're such great guys and all.




Michael's picture

As a follow up to the movie Hunger Games, I'm thinking about writing a new movie script called Oligarch Hunters or Hunting Oligarchs, and a companion first person shooter video game of the same name.

There would be a point system such as 1000 points for a top oligarch, 750 points for an oligarch spouse, and 500 points for each offspring, etc,etc. You get the idea, there are so many possibilities.

It'll probably gross me $100 million easy.

IndicaTive's picture

Didn't you hear? Obama finally came out today! He's in the fucking club. This is his coming out party. And he'd better be paying attention.

Cadavre's picture

What happened today - the market was jumping like some big FED stinky USD shart dump. WTF is going on. This morning's futures tick looked rational (down). Even after the FTSE close the ticks behaved rationally (down), At end of market it looked like the tea leafs were singing "happy days are here again".

OK, someone is buying USD's? But who? Could it be the white shooed multi generational psycho-pimp crime family "brokering" the Morgue's 350 Billion (of excess customer deposits WTF!) play from prop desks inside the gypsy bankers' red light shadow district ponzi centers are front running Spanish bonds (again)?

The date March 31 2012 holds some double secret that, fer sure, can explain it all!

On another topic ...
It looks like Bloomberg reporters discovered that the stinky, is indeed, a nice steaming bowel (SP) of nasty doody. Did you hear the joke about the three Bloomberg reporters walking through central park after spending their lunch hour idly hanging around the the park's men's rooms? As they're returning to work with a tummy full of man juice, they approach what appears to be an extruded brown mass on and stop. One reporter says, "That sure looks like shit". The second reporter crouches close to the mass, draws a deep snort, and offers. "It sure smells like shit". The third reporter bends down, scoops some onto his fingers, puts it in his mouth, and, after a second or too running it across his taste buds, says, "It taste like shit too!". They look at each other, and chorus in unison, "Sure glad we didn't step in it!".

Back in March, a ZH Poster wrote ...

One HFT box is trading with itself - well not actually trading - but pretending to trade for the purpose of price discovery,

I guess, if we accept that no-trade offers that are canceled until "the sweet spot" price is discovered (glory be double halalulya), in order to facilitate the one, the only lone HFT box in the universe, between games of chess, of course, may or may not buy or sale shares from, or to, itself can be called market liquidity if that's what the HFT wants to call what it's doing, then, by all means, let it call it "liquidity".

In a June 21 Bloomberg story titled, Wash Trading by High-Frequency Firms Said to Face U.S. Scrutiny, a Bloomberg hack finally assessed the smelly expensive gourmet pâté slogged down as a lunch appetizer was really just a fresh turd from the chef's cat box ...
So-called wash trades, in which a party buys a contract from itself, could be executed inadvertently by firms with multiple algorithms active in the same stock or derivative, said the people, who requested anonymity because the review isn’t public. Such trades, which can alter the price of shares if they are executed above or below market rates, would be illegal if deemed intentional efforts to manipulate stocks.

How much does the short guy pot head mayor pay those limp dicked lump sucks anyway?

HaroldWang's picture

Both are leaking back notably as reality sinks in...

Nope. Not leaking back at all at this hour. Like I said earlier, how is this going to make earnings better for US companies who are all going to report shitty quarters?? How will this resolve all the issues our government can't even fathom regarding a "fiscal cliff". How will this....never mind - it's party time!

anonum's picture

The people of the forementioned nations (Germany, Finland) are forgotten, consistently and deliberately.

I live in one of the them, and by God, I'd hope to see a bit more reaction from the people due to all this bullshit.

But no, I guess we the sheeple have been conditionalized - perhaps by some chemical substance in our mother's milk already - to not truly conditionalize our mainstream media and leaders.

It makes me a saaaad panda...

chump666's picture

If you live in Germany you should be pissed beyond pissed, the weak and crappy countries of EU will leech off the ESM/ESFS at your expense.  Merkel will be panicking and probably end up with a heart seizure after the hedge funds of the world blow bunds into the ground.

Europe is a mess.

Nussi34's picture

I sending my capital out of Germany like there is no tomorrow. Thnk good that we have 2 passports.

Nussi34's picture

The Euro is nothing else than Versailles II. The fucking French insisted on this shit, now they should go and shove it up their XXX.

fightthepower's picture

You can't help but laugh at the Germans, they must be stupid or something.  Versailles was imposed.  This is volontary.  This is a method of looting Germany.  For what?  The glory of Europe?  Germans are the world's stupidest losers. 

HedgeAccordingly's picture

a scaled out view of this move in crude and 6E - http://hedge.ly/L6jTBq -- notice the volume of 6E.. dwarfs last 8 hours of trading..

RobotTrader's picture

CNBC Asia reporting new Central Bank fund to be formed in Europe to recapitalize all the bad banks.


Wow, I knew they would solve the problem at the worst possible time for the bears.

macholatte's picture



The can shall be kicked!

"So let it be written. So let it be done."

dick cheneys ghost's picture

The can called and said they are running out of road....

HardlyZero's picture


errr...a virtuous local bloke party.

ooohh...a tempest in a teapot...with incoming can kicked and then to carrom into the fan blades.

Its a sh*t filled can.

Welcome to the Saturday after.

westboundnup's picture

Doin' it at the park.  Doin' it after dark.


CvlDobd's picture

@robo Are you serious? They are proposing a new central bank? Got a link. I give up.



Bunga Bunga's picture

Solved with what money? German constitutional court is blocking ESM. German president Gauck said, he will not sign ESM into law before cleared by German constitutional court. Today new lawsuits were filed against ESM in Karlsruhe. Lot's of work for the constitutional court.

But maybe the Spanish can rescue the Italian and the Italian can rescue the Spanish. All will be fine, LOL.

Let The Wurlitzer Play's picture

Sounds like a good time to really short the Euro.

RobotTrader's picture

Poor Doug Noland once again will have to report this weekend that the bears had to endure yet another "Rip Your Face Off" rally.



CvlDobd's picture

No, the bears had to endure another "Change the rules when they work against you!" rally.

John_Coltrane's picture

Don't know what your think people are shorting, but I've got puts I bought  on C, MS, ANR, FSLR, X, GRPN and RIMM in April and May and they're all deep in the money and I've been rolling these puts down in strike and out in duration since December with lots of profits locked up in cash.  You're not stupid enough to short (or go long for that matter) an index like DIA or SPY are you?  Yes, I believe from your previous comments you might be.  Oh, and if you want to get in its still not too late to buy puts on any or all of these as all these money losing companies are going to zero-so strike price is relatively unimportant-just choose long duration, say January.  Can't imagine anyone stupid enough to buy anything at these levels with a world wide recession in the offing.

zebra's picture

the trade bot would be triggered even on announcement like "EU leaders agree to have a pajama party together"

Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

Drunk texting FTW.

If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time.

Thoughts of pretty you and me, Erotic City come alive.

We can print until the dawn, making cash 'til ink is gone

Erotic city can't you see, print so pretty you and me.



Yen Cross's picture

 Which should have a half life of an " AMOEBA"!

Eternal Complainer's picture

Look at them! They are all working sooo hard to save us all!
They're like a bunch of superheroes out to save the world.


Boilermaker's picture

Wasn't this just two articles before this?

UPDATE: ES has lost over 60% of its late-day spike gains...

I love how everyone still pretends like this is in anyway legit from time to time.  You know, when it's convienent.

blindman's picture

Nigel Farage : This EU is now a Union of Debt

"Nigel Farage is so right on so? many issues. I also love how he gets in these technocrats faces! This world needs more men like The only real solution is a total credit reset....to wash clean ALL debts....home mortgages, credit cards, etc.....ALL debts erased and the entire world markets will start afresh. Damn banksters and politicians have robbed and lived like kings....let these banks fail and put these crooks in prison. ? Eliminating mortgages, credit card debt, etc. is only a small token compared to what the banksters have stolen from us. "

km4's picture

China eyes yuan convertibility as it sets up trial zone http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-18639212

Ben and Timmay shitting pants ;)

SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

I just shorted the Euro $100K.    I should be rich by morning.   Thanks EU idiots.

derek_vineyard's picture

dumb fuck....its tomorrow and you are sunstantially underwater and in a short squeeze

although i suspect your post is bullshit

adr's picture

So is it free money, or almost free money, or money with pledges of gold, or free money if X is done with the support of Y without offending Z?

I can't figure it out anymore. ES can drop 1% in 30 seconds or rise 30 seconds later. It is impossible to react.


Can we stop calling it a "Market". It exists as HAL, or Skynet, or WOPR, or STEVE. It can only ramp if proper words are plastered in headlines. Any mention of "Merkel" followed by a "0" will result in a 1% increase within 5 minutes. A headline with "Merkel" followed by "dead" will result in a 10% ramp within 30 seconds.

Just like how a headline of "Tropical Storm" with "Gulf of Mexico" sends oil futures up 2% in seconds.

SkyHALOPR9000 is self aware and exists for the sole purpose of separating you from your wealth. The only winning move is not to play, or is it that judgement day is inevitable, or that the bay doors are closed.

In every way possible we're fucked.

Dr. Engali's picture

One well placed mini nuke. That's all I ask for.

AmenRa's picture

It means nothing until Germany states their position.


Monti just said grounds have been laid for eurobonds. He must have poiosned Merkel's food.

RobotTrader's picture

I'm not surprised that this announcement was made the night before quarter end.


Just in time for the fabled "Quarter End Statement Print".

All major indexes will close the quarter still green for the year.

Fidel Sarcastro's picture

Yeah, funny how that shit always happens.  Rigged?  Naaaah.  No more than the LIEbor, anyway.  ;-)


CvlDobd's picture

I was starting to worry that my fellow Americans and I would not be enjoying the prosperous fourth of July we all deserve.

SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

Are staying long? If so, you are stupid.  This pop will not hold.  I've already made $13K shorting the Euro from the pop. 20mins.  Easy money for the Bear.

robs98ss's picture

very true, the bad news is, the next quarter starts monday

Xibalba's picture

and in less than 24 hrs Merkel will deny