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Kaption Kontest

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 09/12/2011 14:33 -0400

Kim does Kantor...

Source: twitter

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Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660369 speconomist

Let's try:

- Can I buy Victoria's Secret?

- No

- Then sell everything else.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:37 | 1660397 bankrupt JPM bu...

"My ass is an inch away from swallowing the blackberry"

www.silvergoldsilver.blogspot.com

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660476 spiral_eyes

"Warren Buffett said I could run GEICO for the day if I scrubbed him in the tub and gave him hand relief"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:00 | 1660548 gmrpeabody

"Yes..., the boss thought it would be a good idea if I called you for an explanation of what 'crack spreads' are..."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:03 | 1660632 TruthInSunshine

My Maginot Line isn't fortified & has been breached thousands of times, boys.

Beware of trench foot, though.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:06 | 1660668 MarketTruth

Since when did Fran Drescher get enough brain cells to become capable of using a phone?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:08 | 1660681 MachoMan

OH RAY J OH RAY J OH RAY J OOOOOOOO OOOOO OH RAY J OH RAY J

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:14 | 1660725 Manthong

"Pardone... you want to peg your Franc to my what?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:27 | 1660811 chumbawamba

"Ok, so who wants to fuck me in the ass and film it? I'll order a pizza while you guys decide."

- Chumblez.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:29 | 1660834 TruthInSunshine

Kim Kardashian's dark pools.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:48 | 1660952 narapoiddyslexia

Fuck the Buying Dips?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:13 | 1661130 Djirk

now that is a real woman, all assets and curves...forget all those muscle gym rats running around the US cities

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:41 | 1661267 theXman

You must have heard of the "fat-finger" selloff. Only in this case, it is a ...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:58 | 1661321 Triggernometry

Hi, I'm here for the fat finger. I brought the tailside risk...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:03 | 1661341 Mike2756

phat!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:23 | 1661408 Hman

200 years ago she would be listed on COMEX as a commodity.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:23 | 1661409 Hman

200 years ago she would be listed on COMEX as a commodity.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:56 | 1661546 Triggernometry

Pork bellies are still traded

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:47 | 1661284 Sabibaby

It's an up day in the market and in my pants.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:30 | 1660835 trav7777

yeah..she's trash. Not attractive in the least

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:54 | 1661311 russki standart

Actually trav7777, I have seen her up close in a Paris Retailer, and she is very attractive. But she is most definitely trash, comporting herself poorly. But hey, in our celebrity obsessed, childish culture, she is newsworthy until the kids get bored.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:28 | 1661424 Libertarians fo...

He's not refering to her physical looks. He's refering to her being a "mudshark." [his words]

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 18:38 | 1661664 Flakmeister

Trav, I concur completely....

There is song that goes like this:

"Just a three dressed like a nine, only wasting my time"

Just another example of how the US has completely lost its compass....

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 23:18 | 1662446 Not For Reuse

dude, you're a homo. Either that or you USED to be straight, but now you're just an asexual old fart who reacts to females "aesthetically" or "intellectually," rather than viscerally

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:34 | 1660874 nyse

Dude you are hilarious. /serious

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:39 | 1660900 Pladizow

I'd Fat Finger that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:57 | 1660994 Flakmeister

Chumba, I tip my cap... by far the best caption I have yet seen

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:20 | 1660733 Libertarians fo...

"Yes Rick, you betcha, I can see Wall Street from here....I should be able handle anything Couric asks me about the stock market. We're the sort of mavericks America needs right now."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:24 | 1661201 fuu

"Yes it's true, this man has no dick."

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 07:30 | 1662933 tarsubil

"Well, that's what I heard!"

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 23:27 | 1666261 rcintc

Who you gonna call?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:17 | 1660753 Alexander Hamilton

"They told me to smile if you asked about high frequency."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:28 | 1660814 MarketTruth

Like virtually any woman of her age... there are at least THREE guys who are tired of putting up with her shit.

If it fucks, floats or flies RENT IT!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 18:04 | 1661571 MacGruber

That's my new motto, thanks MT!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:16 | 1660741 slewie the pi-rat

sell to open:

2 sisters

1 mother

@ market

ka-ching!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:35 | 1660855 X.inf.capt

BIMBO'S ANONYMOUS......

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:00 | 1661041 A L I E N

"Traders like to see round figures on the table going into the close"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:00 | 1661328 X.inf.capt

MAN, THAT'S A HUGE BITCH!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660485 dwdollar

"Hu Jintao is on the phone. He agrees to bail us out if I give him a blowjob."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:27 | 1661421 NumberNone

"Hi Chloe...I gave alot of blowjobs today but I didn't see that guy. You know, that guy...the one with golden sacks"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 22:04 | 1662221 BetterOffDead

"Gold isn't money, you silly, it's jewelry!"

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 01:54 | 1662702 NumNutt

"They say my ass is as big as the gold bubble, is that true?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:55 | 1660585 Transitory Disi...

"Hello, my ass has swallowed my hand"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:31 | 1660844 trav7777

IT HUNGERS!!!!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:09 | 1660688 DaveyJones

I love big budgets. I mean who wants to be super skinny?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 19:44 | 1661826 Ag Tex

"Series 7?? No sweety, I'm a size 2."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:23 | 1660790 greased up deaf guy

you want to put what in where?!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:27 | 1660809 greased up deaf guy

trust me, babe. you can't afford it.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:48 | 1661287 Sabibaby

Hurry, I found a place to stuff my assets!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:27 | 1660813 greased up deaf guy

mmmmmmm... grapes...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:28 | 1660819 greased up deaf guy

my ass is now a load-bearing structure for this joke of a market.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:30 | 1660837 Robot Traders Mom

Is this Robot Trader's desk? I see, he works in the mail room and you guys pick on him. Makes sense.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:35 | 1660878 greased up deaf guy

it stinks like drakkar in here.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:42 | 1660919 greased up deaf guy

i told you never to call me here!!!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:44 | 1660932 greased up deaf guy

WHAT?! WHAT?! YEAH! OKAYYYYYYYYYY!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:22 | 1661184 NumberNone

"Hey Kim...You're holding the phone upside down."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:23 | 1661410 greased up deaf guy

we're gonna need a bigger desk.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:24 | 1660794 A L I E N

"Traders are looking for the bottom here"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:46 | 1660946 Uncle Remus

He said swallowing...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 23:58 | 1662541 tbone654

"Looks like the bottom's in..."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660424 Crisismode

You see these grapes here on my right?

Well, they're from Greece.

And for each Greek Bond downtick, I want you to peel one and push it through my luscious lips.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:48 | 1660514 Top_Kill

Once you go black box...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:52 | 1660552 Top_Kill

Or Once you go black IN the box....

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660507 Transitory Disi...

K:"Hello, is that the IT dept?"

IT:"Yes"

K:"For an investment bank I think your monitors are very old and they make my backside look massive"

IT:"We are waiting for the Bernank to give us more free money in the form of Quantative Easing so we can upgrade and go long HP monitors"

K:"Eh, Quantative Easing? Isn't that what I do when I try to wear a dress size smaller than I can get away with?"

IT:"Oh, no that is Quantity Squeazing!"

K:"You cheaky bastard, where are you located?"

IT:"Actually turn around I am right behind you on the phone, look see"

K:"Damn"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660533 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000

I knew 2 guys who worked for Cantor Fitzgerald. They both died on 9/11.

Glad to see that they didn't die in vain.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:53 | 1660559 Transitory Disi...

Sorry. No offence intended.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1660642 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000

Don't worry. None taken (gotta have tough skin to post on ZH).

I was only talking about the indignity of it all in the big picture sense.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:16 | 1660740 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000

Question.

What kind of sick fuck would junk a posting about 2 guys who died on 9/11.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:19 | 1660764 SilverIsKing

A few bubbles the FED had no part in creating.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:26 | 1660808 JohnG

Lotsa asshole around here. Don't even worry about it, some people you just can't reach.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:01 | 1660594 Popo

caption: ASTOUNDING OPTICAL ILLUSION: If you stare at this photo for 10 minutes, you will eventually notice a trading floor in the background.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 20:31 | 1661924 Ranger4564

That's what I was thinking... for anyone who noticed the blackberry / grapes / monitors / guys behind, they need to refocus. Focus. ;)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1660611 Popo

"How about if I sit on the desk? Can you see the monitors now?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1660623 Popo

"Yes I know hemlines go up with rising markets. I'm more of an inflationary indicator."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:08 | 1660684 WallStreetClass...

Get your tushy off the keyboard! It's placing another flash crash sell orders!!!!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:34 | 1661240 theXman

Whoops, I triggered the selloff by sitting on the keyboard accidentally.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:04 | 1661345 Freddie

Her ass is as wide as 3 Bloomberg terminals.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 18:05 | 1661572 blargerz

"Sell all my shares of AZZ, I'm grabbing up all the DIK I can."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:34 | 1660371 Barb Dwire

Fill the gap!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660373 murdomcsponge

No. Not in Euros love. I don't accept them.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660423 Arius

i thought the line was " no douler" .... lol...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:00 | 1660626 LongSoupLine

"No, I do NOT make private IMF house calls!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:06 | 1660672 LongSoupLine

or,

After undergoing many "changes" in prison, Bernie Madoff is released on good behavior to immediately land a position at Cantor. He is quoted as saying, "Honey, I feel free in many different ways now."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660374 arm50

Bear bot'em and there is more behind...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660375 Theta_Burn

Yeah but what ya gonna do when the beauty fades....

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660505 Bananamerican

or arrives, for that matter...

"hi, could you send a search team up to the 12th floor? We're missing two of our traders"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:48 | 1660513 Rylie

that is what a video camera is for....

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:57 | 1660603 Rodent Freikorps

Trader her in for a new model.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:20 | 1660773 SilverIsKing

Seems like we're due for a bounce.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 23:45 | 1662507 tbone654

"Someone said the market went "pear shaped" this morning, so I thought I could help... "

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660376 camoes

Markets blame fat butt trade for today's selloff

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:42 | 1660449 SheepDog-One

AHH HA HA HA HAAA!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660467 Arius

thats good!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:44 | 1660934 X.inf.capt

LMFAO,......you gotta stop.....please

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:07 | 1660679 Bastiat

FTW!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:47 | 1660704 BorisTheBlade

[Guy on the left on the phone] - Darling, your bottom covers the entire keyboard, at least don't move since it's a terminal for managing our HFT algorithms

[Kim on twitter] - Just left Cantor Fitzgerald, did some trading!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:50 | 1661298 Sabibaby

Hey, I didn't notice those guys, are they important?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660380 sdmjake

Buy 100 shares of Spanxx...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660540 ReallySparky

LOL, Most of the Men here have no idea that she is squeezed into a size small spanxx under that butter colored second skin. You owe me a monitor sdmjake!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:00 | 1660625 Rodent Freikorps

Sure, it's all fun and games until the Spanx explode and injure innocent bystanders.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:49 | 1660961 X.inf.capt

i just spit coffee all over computer, LOL!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:03 | 1662042 Freddie

Jezz. I cannot imagine her without Spanx. Her ass would be as wide as 4 Bloomberg screens or Cramer's fat head.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660381 Debtless

My big fat greek churning.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660383 ZombieHuntclub

Hi, my name Peggy. All your gold are belong us. Bitchez.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660453 SheepDog-One

'Hi my name Peggy'....LOL awesome.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:53 | 1660993 X.inf.capt

fast forward 1 year,' me love you LONG TIME, for a SILVER DIME!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:35 | 1660385 the mad hatter

Ben Bernanke is now throwing in Kim Kardashians with your order of US Bonds.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:04 | 1661349 X.inf.capt

OH SURE, that would make me want to buy bonds, that would be like rattling a broom stick around in a trash can...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:36 | 1660386 Ecoman11

Inflate my ass baby. Print more.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:36 | 1660387 Theta_Burn

ahh ah HI.hehe

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:36 | 1660388 truont

"Help! I can't stand up! This dress is too tight--I can't move!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:36 | 1660389 caerus

i'm all in kim

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660483 nyse

"Really? Well, I can't feel shit... Just get off of me."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:36 | 1660390 bigdumbnugly

WHAT? you creep! who said anything about fattails?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:46 | 1660490 I did it by Occident

haha, nice!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:36 | 1660393 Wakanda

Are you long or short?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:52 | 1660550 Chaffinch

Sadly I'm flat right now...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:37 | 1660395 hunglow

Do I "have" to put a deposit in that bottle?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:37 | 1660396 Duuude

Gomez ?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:37 | 1660398 Bolweevil

Large pepperoni, extra cheese, thick crust. No wait, make that two.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:37 | 1660399 fuu

Why am I reading Drudge?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:37 | 1660400 sixdollarsix

Kim's ass invokes Rule48

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:22 | 1660782 nonclaim

Really no need for opening indication...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:25 | 1660801 bigdumbnugly

excellent 6$6.

very gary larsonesque in style.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:37 | 1660401 doofusfinder

Well, you know, I was a human being before I became a businessman.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:38 | 1660402 A Nanny Moose

Does anything NOT make my ass look fat?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:38 | 1660403 youngman

I´m a Chiquita banana and I´m here to say...I am the best banana in the world to day..just ask me..

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:38 | 1660406 Peter K

Take yeild curves to a whole new level ;)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:38 | 1660407 Debtless

The bottom wall street has been looking for all along.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:38 | 1660408 gball

Just opened a 'Long Paint thinner' position

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:03 | 1660409 Vergeltung

.................

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:39 | 1660410 Id fight Gandhi

Damn that's a fat ass

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660484 kito

i hope you meant "phat" ass

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:48 | 1660510 caerus

it's her most valuable asset

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:04 | 1660648 Rodent Freikorps

Looks like a bubble.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:08 | 1660686 Lndmvr

If she farted it'd look like a real bubble.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:39 | 1660411 SaveTheGreenback

Kardashian Kontagion?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:14 | 1660727 urbanelf

Baby got Backwardation.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:39 | 1660414 flagg707

Mr. Gekko, I am there for you one hundred percent.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:39 | 1660415 ZeroPower

WHAT SCREEN DO I LOOK AT

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:39 | 1660416 Fur Trader

"Hi Warren....straddle your naked put?....teee heeee , I'll ask a real Fitzpatrick guy?... "

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660418 freethinker4now

"Hi sexy, that barring order didn't work, I'm right behind you my sweet xX"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660419 rickA

yes kris, i heard them say LULU, NFLX, GMCR and CMG. let'd do it, QUICK ;-)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660422 Ryman1075

Physical Gold Bitches...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660502 Cash_is_Trash

Cash is Trash, bitchez!!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660425 Cone of Uncertainty

Can you help me fill my butterfly spread?

Oh, you guys on ZH are all net short, well, too bad for you, I like em long only biatch!!!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660426 Debtless

Greek Collateral. And plenty of it.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660427 molecool

If you guys can avert your eyes from what is admittedly one juicy piece of ass...

How do we get this on ZeroHedge?

Did Tomo Rape The Market - Part Deux

http://evilspeculator.com/?p=23851

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:42 | 1660452 nyse

Good one. This is well worth a read.

Interested to hear ZH contingent's perspective.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:44 | 1660475 molecool

BTW, sorry for spamming, guys - two years here and I never do this. But I really think this article needs to find a wider audience.

Kaption Kontest

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