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Kaption Kontest

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 09/12/2011 14:33 -0400

Kim does Kantor...

Source: twitter

- advertisements -

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660506 fuu

You send it here I think.

Tips: tips [ at ] zerohedge.com

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:55 | 1660591 molecool

Just did that - thanks.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:54 | 1660580 NotApplicable

ZH has had some articles on TOMO. If the content differs from yours, I've not time to tell, today.

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/fed-releases-details-secret-855-billion...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:57 | 1660597 molecool

DId you read our article?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:11 | 1660711 NotApplicable

No, I said I've not time to tell today. People keep breaking stuff around here, so I'm busy putting out fires.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:29 | 1661429 DosZap

molecool, @14:40,

If you guys can avert your eyes from what is admittedly one juicy piece of ass...

Which side?,if it were not for her bosom, and facial beauty,THAT Caboose would not be appealing to me.Curves yeah, she is a BIT too much in the MoonPie area.

Girl gotta work on dat ass.( it's two CarDashions)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:51 | 1662188 ShankyS

Leave it up to you to be a distraction. Volar killed it. I'll link it in the AM post for you.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660428 doofusfinder

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660430 urbanelf

"Yes... Bernanke invited me over to talk to me about a stimulous package."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660431 ShankyS

Which one of you has the fat finger?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:40 | 1660432 nestle

If fat finger can cause a 900 points flash crash, what will a fat ass do?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:12 | 1660714 SokPOTUS

No doubt, man. I don't get the attraction. You unwrap that thing and it's *Gotta* be 18 layers of cellulite if un-airbrushed real life. Gak.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660434 dick cheneys ghost

Is that a Printer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660436 hunglow

That's not hair spray.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660437 doofusfinder

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660438 rajc

kunt

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660439 nyse

Can you see my spanx line?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660440 Ancona

Child bearing hips, they're not just for babies anymore.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660441 Theta_Burn

Where da rich black men at

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:41 | 1660442 UGrev

-Kim- "I have this great idea for a food chain.. uh huh.. yeah...... it's called "Assburgers".....hello?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:42 | 1660445 Bobportlandor

Besides gold only asset worth investing in.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:42 | 1660446 pschwammerl

Did she cause the spike in EURUSD now?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:44 | 1660472 curbyourrisk

No but what ever set it off...they are squeezing shorts here in the staes like crazy.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:46 | 1660497 pschwammerl

Seems like it. Whatever I am a bad citizen, shorting my own currency ;)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:42 | 1660447 doofusfinder

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:42 | 1660448 swissaustrian

explains the recent spike in equities perfectly

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:42 | 1660451 doofusfinder

Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660454 AnAnonymous

Me too, I can do it.

Free market capitalism is not that hard!

(smiles)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660455 The Libertine

Of course I want extra cheese on my burger...........and a diet coke

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660456 BorisTheBlade

Is there any rule against socialites trading bonds, oh well..

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660457 curbyourrisk

How long can you get???? If my spread widens I bet I can get you alot more long....

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:44 | 1660461 gaoptimize

"After SHTF, I'm going back to doing what I was designed for, and be in the vanguard of a demographic-lead renewal of American growth."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660462 idea_hamster

"I'm not buying jet fuel futures -- why do you keep asking about the 'crack spread'"?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660464 Spaceman Spiff

Just when you thought wall street couldn't get any dumber...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:43 | 1660465 ShankyS

Guest Post: How QE2 Helped Main Street, Example 1: High-End Diamond Retailers | ZeroHedge http://bit.ly/otQOwc

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660469 Spirit Of Truth

The slopes of hope...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:44 | 1660470 Willzyx

Naked short

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:44 | 1660474 Cojones

Nice AAPL's

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:54 | 1660575 Nine Pies

FTW!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660477 DonnieD

There's a trader behind her. Really.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660478 johnQpublic

i must be out of touch with reality because i have no idea who this person is....

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 01:20 | 1662667 Hephasteus

She's an obnoxious worthless individual with no redeaming qualities shoved down the public's throat as something interesting because they charge too much for tv and her dad was an olympic athelete from the 70s. She makes 60 million dollars for a reality show where she acts out reality.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660479 TomGa

Get your ass off my desk, bitch.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660480 treemagnet

Spreads?, sure......straddles? - uh, I guess I can...who is this? Did you just ask me if I put out? Listen asshole, I don't care if you're a bull - I don't do that kinky shit anymore!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660481 Nate Taggart

Tail risk

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:32 | 1660858 Ponzi Unit

good one

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660482 hackerinspace

Who is the big swinging dick in here?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:45 | 1660486 Fox Moulder

I said "Buy the dip".

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:46 | 1660487 SqueekyFromm

"Oh Mom, these people on Wall Street are sooo nice!!! One of them has offered to teach me all about naked long squeezes!!!"

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:46 | 1660488 Shell Game

'Offers nice yield, but be aware of the margin requirement!'

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:32 | 1660851 Ponzi Unit

...not to mention the cost of carry.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:46 | 1660489 gatorontheloose

100 point dow jump in minutes what gives.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:37 | 1661466 MsCreant

If you read ZH, you know the answer to this question.

If you are new here, you are a virgin, and don't know the answer, in which case I will tell you:

YOU ARE BEING FUCKED BY CENTRAL BANKERS DAILY, USUALLY AT THE CLOSE.

Elvis Benankestello

"Pump it up, when you don't really need it,

Pump it up, until you can feel it."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:46 | 1660493 Bobby Lee

"Why are all of you boys standing up?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660496 Waterfallsparkles

One trade you know you cannot afford.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660498 HUGE_Gamma

"i been used as a cum sponge for the past 15 years and im only 30"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660499 atomicwasted

Uhura to Enterprise, come in.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660501 SignsAndWonders

Sorry pal, my career is long only.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:47 | 1660503 SheepDog-One

Apparently Kims ass just made equities go from -170 to -70 in 5 minutes.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:48 | 1660508 barliman

'Cramer says, "The bottom is in! BUY! BUY! BUY!"'

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:48 | 1660509 ZippyDooDah

Everyone keeps saying buy physical. Now I see what they mean!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:48 | 1660515 bankonzhongguo

"What exactly is channel stuffing?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660516 Long-John-Silver

I know that look, She's wearing Rebel Flag panties.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660517 Liquid Courage

"Well, since you asked so nicely ... yes, I am going 'Commando'!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660518 Bartanist

Who needs talent when I have THESE?

Oh, and someone bring the yellow spray paint. I think they missed a spot.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660519 trainrobbery

Kim - 50%, 15 seconds.

Lloyd B. - 3 Minutes

Kim - There's no way I'm taking half of Goldman for 3 minutes with you. 30 seconds; final offer!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660521 seanheberling

Leptokurtosis in female form

www.liquidinvestor.blogspot.com

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660523 Belarus

wow, down 1.5% to .50th is a New York minute. Kim must be distracting Brian Sacks interns today.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:49 | 1660524 stant

well it aint all that and a bag of chips biatch

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:50 | 1660526 mayhem_korner

You are drunk, Mr. Buffet. She's tips the scales three bills and makes Madeleine Albright look appetizing. When you sober up, you'll thank me. But you'll still be out your $5B on BoFa.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:50 | 1660528 Zeff

I'll buy the dick,, uh i mean the dip.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:50 | 1660530 GNandGL

"Golden Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660535 haskelslocal

This mouse tickles!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660536 Motorhead

Bitches, bitchez!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660539 hedgeless_horseman

Can't whore? Sure she can.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660543 LS650

'Oink!'

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660545 Deadpool

Very nice. So what is it, *Mr.* Cocksucker now?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:51 | 1660547 whaletail

[Pictured: Bang De Hoe]

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:52 | 1660551 baseball13

Trader is on break having lunch at his desk...

Trader: Excuse me, you're sitting on my pie!...

K: Huh? What? That's my PIE!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:52 | 1660555 Motorhead

And I bet those grapes to her right aren't hers, either.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:52 | 1660557 Deadpool

Gordon Gekko: The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal, I've still got a lot to teach you.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:52 | 1660558 Spaceman Spiff

Comedy Gold, bitches.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:54 | 1660577 Tuco Benedicto ...

Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

"If I bend over you'll drive me to Pittsburgh!?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 16:20 | 1661172 Ruffcut

"SO who do I have give a blow job to NOW? Why are selling my BAC shares so hard?"

Come here Kim and let me show what positions, you should get into.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:53 | 1660561 treemagnet

So is everybody just happy to see me or do they all carry hard bars of precious metals in their pockets?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:53 | 1660562 Bobby Lee

"I hear CNBC wants to replace Bartiromo."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:53 | 1660566 The Gooch

"I don't have to whisper THIS time. I'm not under the desk!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:53 | 1660567 Dolomite

I'm long sausage casings.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:53 | 1660569 The Axe

i am not a big fan of her talents...but shes a sport to help Cantor raise money for their fund today.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:57 | 1660608 Mercury

Kate Upton is there now....call in your order!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:54 | 1660579 High Plains Drifter

money doesn't buy class.............

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:54 | 1660581 williambanzai7

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1660643 Whatta

where did you come up with the picture of MY broker?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:55 | 1660584 gofigure

No, no, it’s going up, I swear!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:55 | 1660586 JohnG

I'm past my peak......

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:55 | 1660589 GCT

LOL and all of you thought Tyler Durden was a guy!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:55 | 1660590 PhattyBuoy

Phat bottom girl ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-D99n9f3vU4

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:56 | 1660592 Smithovsky

"Warren, are you in the bath yet? Sit tight, baby, cause when I get home I'll let you take me from the BAC"

this picture was actually taken on August 24th

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:13 | 1660723 SokPOTUS

Is that what they're referring to as the "New BAC"? No wonder they need to lay off 30K - just to fit her in the door.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:56 | 1660593 Dr. Richard Head

Credit Default Twat - Collateralized Ass Obligations

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:03 | 1660595 raki_d

Hey Seriously ? you liked my vid so much that you're now inviting me for a job @ SEC ??!!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 17:43 | 1661493 MsCreant

Not when they find out she really is a she.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:57 | 1660598 Debugas

plum job

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:09 | 1660599 Randy Kruger

double post

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:57 | 1660607 FubarNation

"I told you fuckers no shots below the waste!!!!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:57 | 1660609 Rastadamus

Time for some inventory channel stuffing bitchez!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:58 | 1660610 Randy Kruger

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to New York City. Local time is 8:46 am"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:58 | 1660612 NotApplicable

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a dress to match the color scheme of these hideous Bloomberg terminals?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:59 | 1660616 Dr. Richard Head

"Cantor made my market. Would you like me to make yours"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 14:59 | 1660618 D.O.D.

"Really? I will suck your dick...hehe"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:00 | 1660631 Whatta

"does my ass make this dress look phat?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:01 | 1660634 Dr. Richard Head

"Hey sweetie! Want to be my cell buddy after we solicite sales of unregistered securities? I'll drop the soap for you!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1660640 Mae Kadoodie

"Sorry, must have butt-dialed you by accident."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:03 | 1660650 optimator

Sorry, just 'cause I'm sitting on a gold mine doesn't mean I know anything about gold miners!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:09 | 1660696 PhattyBuoy

But yes, I am a gold digger !

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:03 | 1660651 f16hoser

I just undressed her 7 times in my mind. Each time I went a little bit further then a little bit further!

Put this picture on the face of the new US 10 Quadrillion Bill. She is much better looking then Obama!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:04 | 1660653 Temporalist

"I'm more fake than the global economy!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:04 | 1660654 sabra1

Alan Greenspan is her sugar daddy!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:05 | 1660659 Dr. Richard Head

I can make your market go up after you stuff my channel.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:05 | 1660661 f16hoser

Not bad, but there is at least one guy tired of f__king it!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:05 | 1660664 Mr_Potatohead

If support doesn't hold, the ass will drop quickly. We don't know where the floor is, but if there is a wide spread, the gap may get filled quickly.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:06 | 1660669 f16hoser

Oh no, another empty kitchen!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:07 | 1660676 oddjob

"Tell Jane Goodall to leave me alone"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:07 | 1660677 LongBallsShortBrains

Sell 2000000 30 year Bonds @ market

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:07 | 1660678 gwar5

Mmmm.... I'm wearing a tight yellow dress with no panties.... what are you wearing?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:09 | 1660691 SparkySC

A crowd gathered as a few sacraficial souls drew straws to decide who would attempt to summit K2 ?

The most dangerous part of the mission far and away is the highly dangerous fjord-esque trench 'The Ass and Grass of Dispair.'

There a beastlike creature, Chloe will ask 3 questions, including what is your favorite color?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:09 | 1660693 Everybodys All ...

Double bottom.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:38 | 1660897 FubarNation

Look closer at that chart again - quadruple bottom there mate.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:09 | 1660694 Cdad

Hello new screensaver.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:10 | 1660703 Nothing To See Here

"Ben? Look, banks don't hold diamonds as reserves, but I do dear."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:11 | 1660706 TumblingDice

I love it long! Great! So how much can I put you in for?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:14 | 1660709 Rob Jones

"Wanna take a bath with me? Buy some Greek bonds. Come on in! The water's fine."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:13 | 1660718 Ryman1075

"you be the Bulls...and I will be the China shop"...

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:15 | 1660732 TJ00

OH EM GE! It's a prince from Nigeria on the phone!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:15 | 1660734 SparkySC

Those are actually Drive-In Multiplex screens in the background.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:15 | 1660735 JPM Hater001

(This will be funnier if you think of the Demotivational poster series)

INADEQUICIES

When brains dont work rely on the oldest business in the business.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:15 | 1660738 nestle

Some of these comments are god damn funny!!! LOL

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:18 | 1660742 Mr Lennon Hendrix

Do I read Zero Hedge? Is that a diet blog?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:17 | 1660745 Temporalist

"What did you say about pork bellies?"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:17 | 1660746 Lester

Reminds me of Groucho's remark to Margaret Dumont when he's wooing here for her fortune dujour, "I can see you now, BENDING over a hot stove...but I can't see the stove."

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:17 | 1660747 UGrev

OOOhhh.. that's how you create that ass dimple pattern on your desk..

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:17 | 1660749 YesWeKahn

Holly asx, I just bought 10K shares of PLAY.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:17 | 1660750 SokPOTUS

"Say Wat? Sure, you can Liquidate my Assets!"

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:17 | 1660752 hunglow

How far is it to Pittsburgh? Sunlight scares me.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:20 | 1660755 NuYawkFrankie

Becky's on air? Ok Warren - I'll be right over sugarplums!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:18 | 1660758 JPM Hater001

MISS-ALLOCATION 2011

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:18 | 1660759 JohnFrodo

My income from accomplishing absoultiely nothing is larger than all of America's

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:18 | 1660761 VogonPoet

I Raff I Ruse, What?

Hey Guys China is Going to Bailout Europe!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:19 | 1660770 reader2010

Why the hell you need to have just one bombshell in the trading room? All you need is to have NYC high-end escorts all over the place doing what they do best.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 15:20 | 1660777 Rodent Freikorps

It is all about proportion.

Kaption Kontest

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