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Kaption Kontest
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No. Don't turn around. That SEC guy is here asking questions about the CRK algo again. I don't want him to see your code base. Woops, he's lookin' at me, Gotta go...
Or,
Don't look now, but Robert Reich is standing on the trading desk again checkin' out your ass. Yea, he's the one in the white hat.
No, this is Apollonia, I'm a real estate broker. What? No, the space is for rent --they are shutting down this afternoon. Yes, ...some of the best views in Athens.
No, Marge! I'll just tell them I'm locking up. Seriously, it's split wide open.
Hi this is becky at the SEC. How long will the Midget porn webcams be down ?
Whenever you go ALL IN on a asset, MAKE SURE YOU DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH IT!
Always be prepared to walk away from it.
You were right Bultar it does look like it can pull 2 carts. That is one beautiful mule.
that's okay ben, I like taking it in the pooper
Is that a kilo in your pocket?
"No, I won't change your sheets Mr. Strauss-Kahn. I only do incall."
.....I guess I could bring my sister....
(s)...
[meh]
Hey baby I will be home soon: gotta sell my assets for cab fare.
No, Mr. Strauss-Kahn. I don't care what President Clinton told you, I will not dress up as a French maid.
Bonus time Boys!
I'm here to see Obama's stimulus package
Austerity is way over-rated...pump up dem bubbles
I wouldn't fuck her with Bob Pisani's dick....
with Liesman pushing.
Well.. maybe if that blonde Aussie babe was licking my nuts at the same time... tough call.
"i dont know the fuckin extension just gimme the knicks' locker room bitch!."
You can all run her down all you want, but in the end, you would pu tit to her given the chance, and if you knew noone would know!
"OIS Spread? Oh baby, you have such sweet pillow talk..."
"It's more of a boulder and shoulder pattern than head and shoulder."
"Warren, stop talking about your puts!"
"You want to inflate my commodities?"
I short you nacked!
Mom, does my ass look big in this dress? All these nerds keep asking me about QE3...
Yes mom, they hired me to be the head trader ..... not sure what that entails yet. But they supplied me with chic knee-pads.
Oh, Hi Salty Dawg! Thank you for finally showing me what going long really is. These clowns behind me are all short!!
In 10 years I'll have lost my looks and have nothing.
20 bucks says 5.
Is that a Yum Brands Ad? It's finger licking good...
Oh, you said "clap at the opening bell"...I thought you said "bring the clap to the opening bell."
You can all run her down all you want, but in the end, you would pu tit to her given the chance, and if you knew noone would know!
"Captain, I've got Star Fleet coming in on a secure channel...and who the hell replaced my Funions with these fucking grapes!?!"
KarTRASHian
"yeah, I think they want me to do some kind of infomercial in a bikini...something about how gold is bad and cash is good"
Come on Benny Bee, it's only a measly $200 mil, you know I'm good for it if you know what I mean... Swallow...? Make it $300 mil
Baby got BAC.
Hello, My name Peggy..
Yes Mr. Bauer. I'll distract them while you set off the EMP.
Do 100 shares of BAC make my ass look big?
+1... That's the best caption...
NOW THOSE ARE JERSEY CURVES! SOON BAC, AND GS WILL HAVE SPOKES "WOMEN" OUT TOO!
Let's hope she wants to get physical too.
Everyone here that has time to post a response and that is laughing... owns Gold.
Fuck the markets!
x
Am I doing the right thing by showing my back to the guy behind me with whom I am talking to on the phone? I think I will drop some grapes so that GReece will be saved
"Kirk has just gone to the crapper. Can I take a message"?
Market maker.
Kim Who?
Needs to repost with only +5. Good tags are getting lost waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay at the bottom.
...most honest whore in the entire joint...
"You've all been BAAAAD boyz.".
Alright, team.
Before I plunge down, are you wearing protection?
Double post.
JPM called because my trunk junk raises more capital than theirs, even with Jamie "Blue" Dimon's enhancements - Kim
Oh yes, Jamie, you still plan to meet the shopping challenge posed by AMEX black through your partnership with Pfizer to develop and market a Viagra black at 250mg for your male shop-a-holics? And what kind of concierge service will that product come with? - Kim
tyler chi?
Hourglass (sandglass, sand timer, sand clock, egg timer).
Tic Toc
Why do women pull their hair back like that? Looks so unflattering. What the fuck am I looking at? Some kind of fungal/plant growth on the top of her cretinous skull?
But very handy if you like bj's & doggy...
Q:Slow day?
A: Yes, I just read through 300+ of the funniest comments on ZH.
Q: What about?
A: You know...
Q:Slow day?
A: Yes, I just read through 300+ of the funniest comments on ZH.
Q: What about?
A: You know...
"I get off about 15 minutes after I start f'ing".
This is quintessential America. Oily, Vapid, Fake, Oversexed, Grotesque, empty. Sometimes I wish the Hardon super-collider would rip a portal open to hell and suck the earth in. Wait, we're already in it. Fuck.
FIRE SPLOOGE-ON TORPEDOS!
UGHHHH!
Would anyone like a piece of my pumpkin pie; it's on special today at only $6999.
I'll bid you 3/8's for a real ho.........
Hi Robo honey. This is what's happening in the market today...
Hey TD, I wanna move some assets into soap futures. Oprah said you could help me out.
Hello Tyler... have I got a tip for you!
Now we know why volumes been so low....
"Honey, what should I do?
My broker just called, all my stocks crashed
and he wants to seize my assets."
I have been trying to describe a 'fat tail' to a colleague and ZH provides a visual representation. Thanks!
"Yes Mrs. Clinton, I'm going to need to borrow your fat ass for a while longer, my 15 minutes have been extended 30"
Life imitates Art: Is this really KK or is WilliamBanzai7 doing another riff on Pink Flamingos?
Sis you won't believe this, no black guys here!
Sis you won't believe this, no black guys here!
Sis you won't believe this, no black guys here!
"We're going to need a new keyboard up here right away"
Thanks for catching that!
Now we know where the fat fingers go when they're not causing flash crashes.
hello mom, i'm not stripping anymore, I have a real job
OOOOOOOOOO! Short squeeze! Your dick or mine?
Kris...mom...I just azz knocked this funny looking keyboard and hit the GO and 1 key at the same time and crashed the UST mkt...I think they call it fat fingering...now they're gonna call it azz knockin....
HOLY SHIT! They've got both kinds of grapes in the break room!
top article reads of the last 72 hours. Go.
KK: Hi Timothy... it's Kim. Yeah these nice guys here said I could spend whatever I liked on my card and you'd cover it!!??
TG: Fuck Off PIIG!!
KK: Hi Timothy... it's Kim. Yeah these nice guys here said I could spend whatever I liked on my card and you'd cover it!!??
TG: Fuck Off PIIG!!
"Uncle Benny, is that you in my ass or did I sit on a grape?".
See that little plate of grapes by my right hand? I'm going to make a little trip to the girls room and hide them, and then if you can find them you get to suck them out and eat them one at a time.
" Um.. Hi Yes is this the catering dept.? Yes, well I am not happy with just grapes. I'd like a chocolate shake immediately!"
Who is that person?
She is the daughter of an ass hole LA lawyer, who... after countless plastic surgeries...
Has the sole purpose in life of running around and getting her picture taken...
To show that she IS somebody...
I use my Ass ets to get Gold, Diamonds, Villas.
Now what do you want to trade today?
Market SPRUNG higher the exact moment this photo went up on ZH...
Holey Cow!
yes, please, I'll have a dual currency bond swap with an interest rate hedge......and a diet coke
You'll wish you'd bought Italian bonds in 2011 after she divorces you in 2013....at least you would've got fucked the right way.
"Can you get all of this computer stuff off of the desk? I can't make an office sex tape with all of this crap here. Leave the grapes, though."
"See... Amerika really IS about air head idiots failing upwards... I need a new boob job!!!!"
I'm twice as smart as Paris.
+1... Billy Preston:
My huge booty won't break your desk I promise.
arb this keister!
Bobbi Fleckman: Hello, Bobbi Fleckman here. Money Talks and Bullshit walks. You put a *greased naked woman* on all fours with a dog collar around her neck, and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here, holding onto the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it. You don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?
Nigel Tufnel: Whats wrong with being sexy?
Mister Spitzer is expecting me.
"Sell all my shares of AZZ...I'm grabbing all the DIK I can"
smell the desk
That is quality ass. It has "wet pussy" written all over it.
Ben, that last TARP was not big enough to cover my assets.
odds are she is a sales assistant for some big hitter or hitters batting with Johnson, just another dinner engagement, for a working girl, its all in a days work.
Price discovery mechanism will be replaced with the new "Is it rich enough for Kim to sleep with?" measure.
"Is Mike Hunt on the trading floor?
Is Mike Hunt on the conference call?
Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"
Hello Mr. president Warren told you needed help with the economy.
How does one go in that dress?
Pull it up, pull down under garments, sit. That dress looks tight but often it is the undergarments that are restraining (if anything is). I have dresses that hug like that, but the fabric is not very constraining. Just looks like it. One does need to be mindful that the dress stays DOWN, however. Bunched up at the waist might be popular around here, but not so much in the fashion world.
TARP !? sorry mr.president i thought you where looking for a tart .
Hi, I'm here about the gang bang.
OH, Ben Bernanke, I thought you said BEN Dover, my bad, wanna fuck anyway
God she's such a naughty little slut, I love it
... Hell low, is this Girl 666?
...that's right Chairsatan, I'll be riding you with the golden BTFD Cup in my hand. We'll be drinking the wine of warth inside the black hole fo ...ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHRmQEdGzB4&feature=related
"I know whats for dinner".
OOoopps...I mean who's for dinner.
Expand the duration of their holdings from 4-5 to over 6? No problem sweety, my es spread can get pretty wide.
Turn your head sideways and look at her again...
Classic Head & Shoulders Pattern
Kim engaging in some HFT....(High Frequency Tush)
My ass to boob ratio is overleveraged.
Is it true that Goldman is selling KDO's (Kardashian Debt Obligations) and buying KDS's (Kim Divorce Swaps) from AIG?
Is it just me...or are those monitors on the left of her converging as they are drawn towards the event horizon of her ass?
almagamated fuzz is up 50, sell!
"well the thing is... my center of gravity gets all bufked up unless i hold this phone close to my ear you see?"
Howard Lutnick's dick is even smaller than rumoured.
No, I squeeze shorts, but longs go all-in, Baby.
-------------------------------------------------------
I know gold. You can’t eat gold. Son, I’m not gold.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Look Baby, where do you think Dave Tepper learned “balls to the wall”?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They told me Cantor fits Gerald. I was pumped for watching some gay porn!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fuck me and the horse I rode in on? Whoa! You ARE nasty, Jamie!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes I’ve got a jobs plan. Handjobs, blowjobs. How that for stimulus?
Something many of you missed about this pretty little thing, she is sporting nice chunk of white gold and a massive sparkly faceted stone on her pretty little left ring finger. I think she gets taken every nite of the week by some real freaking lucky sob. caw ! Caw! CAW!
Hello? I dunno... Um, I think everyone here is working. At least that's what it looks like, Ive never seen people working before...
"Very cozy...my ass needs two posts!"
F this whore and her endless publicity stunts.
Hello, you have reached chix with dix dot com my name is Ms. Kitty Litter, may I help you?
Well, there's the bottom in one market.
This is a pretty woman with a wide set of hips. All the weight stuff (I did it too) is mean and wrong. One can't help it if they are born with wide set bones like that. You like it, or you don't, that is personal taste. Taste away if you can get some. On the flip side, some women are way too skinny and that is creepy. Or just too fake.
On another flip side, some men are too skinny. And some men are just built a little too heavy, naturally. We still sex em up if we love em.
There are so many beautiful, smart, talented women out there who would love to have the spotlight to showcase there wares. She is only pretty. When she opens her mouth, any idea that she is somehow okay goes out the window. And then she is a rich daddy's girl. That is where I start to find fault, not her beautiful curves, or her large butt.
I have never understood why people care. I don't dislike her because she is fat. I dislike her because she is a symbol of what apparently folks value in this culture. If a "piece of ass" is all you want from a woman, you can do better. The human looks like she would be a pain in your ass in a relationship.
All this is obvious, but no one has said it yet, so I did, for the record.
Oh I love a good set of child rearing hips. I don't know what straight man wouldn't bone her, she's just a moron.
The jack off all trades, mistress of dumb.
nice yellowish hue
kind of like the golden showers she likes to get
"Yes, it's still up there vibrating...No, I can't take it out now."
"They say my ass is as big as the gold bubble, is that true?"
Junk bond!
"Can I get a high frequency fat finger in my shorts?"
Hello,
Yes, we accept large deposits.
No, deposits cannot be made over the phone, but we can take the details of the size of your commitment.
Early withdrawals can be perormed, but we strongly suggest allowing your principal to remain in place until maximum interest is returned.
When you come into our facility, the back door is recommended for clients with very large deposits.
I'm sorry, but smaller deposits will be handled strictly through the front door.
You would like to place your financial instrument between two firms? ANy loose deposits can be swallowed up by our competitors then....
The best way to lick our fees is to make a proposal in our mutual trust fund.
Our largest depositors are always welcomed through the back door. Deposits made throught the front of our facility may reach maturity on average after nine months, but we would require a financial agreement extended through a minimum of 18 years.
No, thank YOU sir. Our doors will be opened wide for a depoit half as large as you indicate you have. For someone of your stature, you can rest assured all of our doors will remain open for deposits at your convenience. If you would like to, you can bring as many as two friends with you for making deposits simultaneously, but please be sure that your friends also have the instuments ready to hand over in my office for scrutiny. See you soon!
Last (Bitchez!)
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