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Late Friday Humor: Portfolio Manager Versus Analyst

Tyler Durden's picture


Our hedge fund readers will find 100% of this cartoon is correct 100% of the time.



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Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:45 | 1751061 baby_BLYTHE
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Hedge Fund Hyenas (present company excluded, of course)

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:20 | 1751184 Smithovsky
Smithovsky's picture

Funniest thing I've seen in ages!!!

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:25 | 1751196 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Guess I missed the humor in it.   Is your typical PM that big of a douchebag?   Hope those suits have kevlar and steel in the back.  

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:55 | 1751262 iDealMeat
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+ 1..   This clip is just stupid..

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 21:57 | 1751890 rocker
rocker's picture

Get a Life.  LMAO   On Only 1 Base Ale

Sat, 10/08/2011 - 05:45 | 1752378 Smithovsky
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A friend of mine was telling me about his job as an analyst a while back and every little thing he told me was mentioned in this video.  


Fri, 10/07/2011 - 21:19 | 1751789 cranky-old-geezer
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Kevlar & steel ...cute ...and true. :)

Sat, 10/08/2011 - 13:12 | 1753043 Alpha Monkey
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Is your typical PM that big of a douchebag?

I don't know about PMs, but I can say by my experience the typical corporate boss is that big of a douchebag.  One of ex-mine, a relatively low level guy, once explained to us, the workers, the reason he and his fellow managers were not using the personal award system was because we as employees had not used it to award each other.  Yeah, wrap your brain around that one.

Sun, 10/09/2011 - 09:03 | 1754369 s2man
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ala Dilbert; Does he have strong managment skills, or is he just a jerk?

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 21:16 | 1751780 TheFourthStooge-ing
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Hedge Fund Hyenas (present company excluded, of course)

Simon says, "kill for wine."

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:40 | 1751062 _mak_
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Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:46 | 1751066 LeonardoFibonacci
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hang them both by using the tallest tree. Ask them both if they see the fucking forest then, just before they swing into emptiness.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:41 | 1751068 GeneMarchbanks
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PM vs. Analyst

I was hoping to see a 100oz Au bar flying toward the cranium of a Wall St analyst.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:45 | 1751081 Popo
Popo's picture

Not very funny.  Sorta lame.  Sounds like it was written by a pissed off analyst.   Quit bitch, and stop complaining.    You're paying your dues so you can eventually be an overpaid PM yourself.  

Are we supposed to be sympathetic to that?



Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:52 | 1751117 d00daa
d00daa's picture

jesus, it's called "friday afternoon humor" buddy, someone needs to get to happy hour stat... did you get your face ripped off this week or what?

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:45 | 1751087 Taint Boil
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The grey chick has a hot ass.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:48 | 1751097 LeonardoFibonacci
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can you see her underwear lines too

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:58 | 1751135 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

I think I can see grey nipples...

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:01 | 1751279 hbjork1
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Guys, you are pretty hard up for stimulation.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:31 | 1751483 knukles
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How hard up or not a black or white consideraiton, there are many shades of grey.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:51 | 1751526 LeBalance
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They are "hard up for simulation" and yes, they are from the SEC.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:46 | 1751089 gorillaonyourback
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Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:47 | 1751093 adr
adr's picture

Why do you need to know what a company does to invest in it? That is what mutual funds are for.


Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:49 | 1751101 Kristian
Kristian's picture

Something is wrong here, the male voice is of one of the bears..

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:59 | 1751141 hambone
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Bears...WE WANT BEARS...WE WANT BEARS...Sheeple need colorful talking bears...bring back the bears!!!

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 20:56 | 1751717 Anonymouse
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Times are tough, even cartoon bears have to get second jobs doing voiceovers for other cartoons

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:50 | 1751105 FOC 1183
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THAT is fucking priceless

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:51 | 1751109 SwingForce
Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:01 | 1751121 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Or my favorite:

"DES-PgFwd-PgFwd-PgFwd 'BUY' is not robust just overruled everyone because of what some tip sheet said!"
"No, that was my thesis...and did you see the news out? I was 100% correct."
"But it' down 30%!"
"What I said was going to happen,'s not reflected in the stock but I was essentially correct."
"Well I guess we have something to talk about in the quarterly letter then."

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 16:58 | 1751136 Professor Moriarty
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T2 Partners?

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:33 | 1751489 knukles
knukles's picture

Oh man....  I know some of those guys....

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:05 | 1751154 johnnyblade
johnnyblade's picture

sorry popo.  sorry for your loss.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:23 | 1751193 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

the cat-a-pult is funnier imo.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:25 | 1751195 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Silver Bears, bitchez!

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:29 | 1751206 Stochdoc
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We know how he got his info in the bathroom.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:42 | 1751228 Narrow Ledge
Narrow Ledge's picture

Fuck this is SO true.  David Ganek

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 17:53 | 1751258 Element
Element's picture

Unfortunately this is exactly how you get a key to the executive bathroom and renumeration in every organization I've encountered.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:02 | 1751282 HITMAN56
HITMAN56's picture

Great Work! Rings so True.  I'm sure I-bankers can relate as well.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:05 | 1751290 CrankyOldCreditGuy
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100% accurate from my experience

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:20 | 1751312 Bastiat
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Working in a boutique IB in the mid-west, back in the mid-80s, I got this response after describing a deal on the phone to a Goldman (I think it was) banker in NYC: 

"That's sounds like a great idea but it won't work."  

Me:  "Why not?"  

Him:  "We have the smartest people in the world here and if that idea was any good we'd already be doing it."

True story.  The idea did work, btw.   


Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:22 | 1751327 jballz
jballz's picture


Sooooo sick of lame ass xtra normal toons.


Guess they appeal to the pre-teen set and low IQ crowd,  Take a bunch of cliched hyperbole and sset it to bad animation and robot voices...and voila. Now it's Funny!

- 10 million, I though zerohedge had better taste.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:25 | 1751338 jomama
jomama's picture

it's friday, lighten up.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:26 | 1751343 jballz
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No, FUCK YOU!!!!


(lol...sorry I couldn't resist.)

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:55 | 1751534 Arkadaba
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And sorry the little bears have spread the word way more than I could.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:58 | 1751402 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Guess they appeal to the pre-teen set and low IQ crowd

And you are post-teen with a high IQ?

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 20:21 | 1751603 jballz
jballz's picture


yes. Oh and to the poster above, thanks for reposting the faggoty bear toon. That one sucks too.


Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:22 | 1751330 jomama
jomama's picture

shorting the spice?  rofl!

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 18:28 | 1751346 Lord Welligton
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And the reason X won't allow you sign up for an account is what?

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:02 | 1751407 The Piker
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Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:10 | 1751433 dugorama
dugorama's picture

sadly i can neither see much of the vid nor hear any of it because the ads and headlines running down the side cover most of the display on my various monitors regardless of size or shape (and the sound control).  just like every time on ZH these days

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:41 | 1751501 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

I was going to reply that the community here could help with your issues but figured junking would be better. 

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:36 | 1751493 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Made me lol more than once! 

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 19:47 | 1751513 bill1102inf
bill1102inf's picture

Wow, that shiny stuff some call money is worth a whopping 82% of what is was worth less than 2 months ago, THATS stable.



Fri, 10/07/2011 - 20:01 | 1751546 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Compare USD of 1913 to USD of 2011.

A whopping 97% drop in value?

Stick with your precious paper.




Sat, 10/08/2011 - 02:36 | 1752316 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Stable?  Yeah.  I had two ounces, I still have two ounces.  Not 82% of two ounces.  You are still thinking in the old ways, an adjustment period is normal.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 20:02 | 1751548 Dark Space
Dark Space's picture

Do all equity shops only provide single monitors?

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 20:18 | 1751592 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

the only thing missing is the "call from the Government" wanting to know what the fuck is going on. Other than that that pretty much sums up three decades of Wall Street washed away in a 2008 New York minute.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 20:26 | 1751614 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Well there is two minutes and fifty seven seconds of my life I can never get back.  By the way, it looks to me to represent every single working situation I have been in since my first job in 1974. 

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 20:52 | 1751702 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

Hilarious and very true.  One point they forgot though

- If her idea proves to be right, and the portfolio manager does not take her advice, it is her fault that he missed the opportunity because she did not explain her idea well enough or advocate for it hard enough

I had that happen to me once.  3 out of 4 PMs took my advice.  1 chose not to.  When my idea proved exactly right (within days), he ripped me one because I should have pushed the idea harder

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 21:01 | 1751738 Cult of Criminality
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Fri, 10/07/2011 - 21:15 | 1751779 cranky-old-geezer
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Thanks TD for reminding me why I left the corporate world. What cutthroat backstabbers.  No, not just in finance.  All over.  I saw it 20 years ago.  Must be horrible today.   Condolences to anyone in corporate life.



Fri, 10/07/2011 - 21:44 | 1751856 Golf Maniac
Golf Maniac's picture

I just made the leep and bailed out of Corp Amerika to start my own biz.  Everyone is only concerned with making a name for themselves.  In my department, there were very few original ideas presented.  Most employees are not willing to step out on a limb and take risks, only interested in being able to throw stones when someone else's ideas don't pan out.  Never again will I work for a company where I enrich sr. management and have no skin in the game.

Fri, 10/07/2011 - 23:34 | 1752092 Cone of Uncertainty
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Does anyone else think that the chicks voice is,

Sat, 10/08/2011 - 00:17 | 1752163 Antipodeus
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Think you need another cone, Uncertainty ... ;=))


Sat, 10/08/2011 - 00:06 | 1752148 Hurdy Gurdy Man
Sat, 10/08/2011 - 12:27 | 1752976 citrine
citrine's picture

I heard of a PM who said that depreciation is cost of capital, correcting his analyst who thought otherwise. 

Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:16 | 1861064 karmete
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